every day I get calls from school principals wondering how they can stop
principals wondering how they can stop
principals wondering how they can stop the teasing and the bullying happening
the teasing and the bullying happening
the teasing and the bullying happening on their campuses so one day I get a
on their campuses so one day I get a
on their campuses so one day I get a call from a principal it says help me
call from a principal it says help me
call from a principal it says help me please I have one kid who’s being a
please I have one kid who’s being a
please I have one kid who’s being a bully on my campus
bully on my campus
bully on my campus she’s just terrorizing the playground
she’s just terrorizing the playground
she’s just terrorizing the playground can you come out and help us and so say
can you come out and help us and so say
can you come out and help us and so say sure we can come on out so we agree to
sure we can come on out so we agree to
sure we can come on out so we agree to work with this goal we show up on campus
work with this goal we show up on campus
work with this goal we show up on campus on that day and if you can imagine a
on that day and if you can imagine a
on that day and if you can imagine a hundred little fourth and fifth graders
hundred little fourth and fifth graders
hundred little fourth and fifth graders all sitting on the floor cross-legged
all sitting on the floor cross-legged
all sitting on the floor cross-legged full of energy and excitement for this
full of energy and excitement for this
full of energy and excitement for this assembly to begin so we start off by
assembly to begin so we start off by
assembly to begin so we start off by talking about how every single one of us
talking about how every single one of us
talking about how every single one of us has feelings and especially feelings
has feelings and especially feelings
has feelings and especially feelings that we don’t know what to do with these
that we don’t know what to do with these
that we don’t know what to do with these are feelings that feel difficult
are feelings that feel difficult
are feelings that feel difficult challenging and hard to talk about and
challenging and hard to talk about and
challenging and hard to talk about and so we teach them that we all have a
so we teach them that we all have a
so we teach them that we all have a place within us that sits right here and
place within us that sits right here and
place within us that sits right here and it’s cold our balloon and in our balloon
it’s cold our balloon and in our balloon
it’s cold our balloon and in our balloon we put these feelings that we don’t know
we put these feelings that we don’t know
we put these feelings that we don’t know what to do with for example if I wake up
what to do with for example if I wake up
what to do with for example if I wake up in the morning and I’m kind of sleepy
in the morning and I’m kind of sleepy
in the morning and I’m kind of sleepy and now someone’s yelling at me wake up
and now someone’s yelling at me wake up
and now someone’s yelling at me wake up wake up and now I feel irritated I’m a
wake up and now I feel irritated I’m a
wake up and now I feel irritated I’m a little grumpy and I’m mad so I put those
little grumpy and I’m mad so I put those
little grumpy and I’m mad so I put those feelings inside of my balloon then I go
feelings inside of my balloon then I go
feelings inside of my balloon then I go off to school and the teacher calls on
off to school and the teacher calls on
off to school and the teacher calls on me but I’m still kind of sleepy and I’m
me but I’m still kind of sleepy and I’m
me but I’m still kind of sleepy and I’m still kind of grumpy and I don’t even
still kind of grumpy and I don’t even
still kind of grumpy and I don’t even know what the teacher is talking about
know what the teacher is talking about
know what the teacher is talking about so the whole classroom laughs so now I
so the whole classroom laughs so now I
so the whole classroom laughs so now I feel embarrassed humiliated but what do
feel embarrassed humiliated but what do
feel embarrassed humiliated but what do I do I just put those feelings inside of
I do I just put those feelings inside of
I do I just put those feelings inside of my balloon and then I hurry out to
my balloon and then I hurry out to
my balloon and then I hurry out to recess because I cannot wait
recess because I cannot wait
recess because I cannot wait and I realized that my friend started
and I realized that my friend started
and I realized that my friend started the game without me so now I’m excluded
the game without me so now I’m excluded
the game without me so now I’m excluded I’m left out and I feel sad and what do
I’m left out and I feel sad and what do
I’m left out and I feel sad and what do I do those feelings go inside not
I do those feelings go inside not
I do those feelings go inside not balloon so here we are in this assembly
balloon so here we are in this assembly
balloon so here we are in this assembly talking to these kids about feelings and
talking to these kids about feelings and
talking to these kids about feelings and I asked them if any of them have ever
I asked them if any of them have ever
I asked them if any of them have ever experienced a full balloon and every
experienced a full balloon and every
experienced a full balloon and every little hand goes up and then we asked if
little hand goes up and then we asked if
little hand goes up and then we asked if anyone right now
anyone right now
anyone right now might have a balloon so full that they
might have a balloon so full that they
might have a balloon so full that they might be doing hurtful or harmful things
might be doing hurtful or harmful things
might be doing hurtful or harmful things to other people and the whole room goes
to other people and the whole room goes
to other people and the whole room goes quiet until so we invite this kid to
quiet until so we invite this kid to
quiet until so we invite this kid to come to the front of the room and as
come to the front of the room and as
come to the front of the room and as she’s making her way up from the
she’s making her way up from the
she’s making her way up from the reaction of all the other kids we can
reaction of all the other kids we can
reaction of all the other kids we can tell this is her this is that kid that
tell this is her this is that kid that
tell this is her this is that kid that bully the principal was talking about so
bully the principal was talking about so
bully the principal was talking about so she makes her way to the front of the
she makes her way to the front of the
she makes her way to the front of the room she sits in the chair and we say do
room she sits in the chair and we say do
room she sits in the chair and we say do you have a full balloon she nods her
you have a full balloon she nods her
you have a full balloon she nods her head
head
head we asked have you been out there on the
we asked have you been out there on the
we asked have you been out there on the playground doing some things that maybe
playground doing some things that maybe
playground doing some things that maybe you shouldn’t be doing she blogs our EDS
you shouldn’t be doing she blogs our EDS
you shouldn’t be doing she blogs our EDS and we say tell us what’s inside of your
and we say tell us what’s inside of your
and we say tell us what’s inside of your balloon and as the tears well up in her
balloon and as the tears well up in her
balloon and as the tears well up in her eyes
eyes
eyes the entire room is leaning in they have
the entire room is leaning in they have
the entire room is leaning in they have no idea what’s really going on with this
no idea what’s really going on with this
no idea what’s really going on with this little girl and she says I lost my best
little girl and she says I lost my best
little girl and she says I lost my best friend and the whole room is absolutely
friend and the whole room is absolutely
friend and the whole room is absolutely confused because they have no idea who
confused because they have no idea who
confused because they have no idea who her best friend is and we say
her best friend is and we say
her best friend is and we say tell us all about your friend and was
tell us all about your friend and was
tell us all about your friend and was now big gigantic tears rolling down her
now big gigantic tears rolling down her
now big gigantic tears rolling down her face she tells us that her grandmother
face she tells us that her grandmother
face she tells us that her grandmother died she tells us about how much her
died she tells us about how much her
died she tells us about how much her grandmother loved her and how much she
grandmother loved her and how much she
grandmother loved her and how much she missed her hugs how many of you right
missed her hugs how many of you right
missed her hugs how many of you right now can feel with and for that little
now can feel with and for that little
now can feel with and for that little girl so something in that room changed
girl so something in that room changed
girl so something in that room changed right in that moment because minutes
right in that moment because minutes
right in that moment because minutes before she was a bully
before she was a bully
before she was a bully a terror on the playground and now she
a terror on the playground and now she
a terror on the playground and now she was a nine-year-old little girl with a
was a nine-year-old little girl with a
was a nine-year-old little girl with a grief-stricken broken heart so we give
grief-stricken broken heart so we give
grief-stricken broken heart so we give her an opportunity to tell us more about
her an opportunity to tell us more about
her an opportunity to tell us more about her grandmother and she lights up at the
her grandmother and she lights up at the
her grandmother and she lights up at the opportunity and then we ask if there is
opportunity and then we ask if there is
opportunity and then we ask if there is anybody in the room who would be willing
anybody in the room who would be willing
anybody in the room who would be willing to stand by her side to be her ally and
to stand by her side to be her ally and
to stand by her side to be her ally and talk to her about her grandmother
talk to her about her grandmother
talk to her about her grandmother especially when they saw her doing
especially when they saw her doing
especially when they saw her doing hurtful or harmful things out on the
hurtful or harmful things out on the
hurtful or harmful things out on the playground and you know what happened
playground and you know what happened
playground and you know what happened every hand went up because now they saw
every hand went up because now they saw
every hand went up because now they saw her pain now they saw her full balloon
her pain now they saw her full balloon
her pain now they saw her full balloon and they wanted to help this is
and they wanted to help this is
and they wanted to help this is generation empathy in action instead of
generation empathy in action instead of
generation empathy in action instead of more punishment instead of more
more punishment instead of more
more punishment instead of more discipline there was now listening
discipline there was now listening
discipline there was now listening compassion and empathy now let’s imagine
compassion and empathy now let’s imagine
compassion and empathy now let’s imagine that this moment did not happen for this
that this moment did not happen for this
that this moment did not happen for this little girl
little girl
little girl imagine her labeled a terror a bully in
imagine her labeled a terror a bully in
imagine her labeled a terror a bully in elementary school
elementary school
elementary school imagine her in middle school imagine her
imagine her in middle school imagine her
imagine her in middle school imagine her in high school
in high school
in high school how many more labels would be put on her
how many more labels would be put on her
how many more labels would be put on her how many more names would she be called
how many more names would she be called
how many more names would she be called and
and
and how many more ways would she try to
how many more ways would she try to
how many more ways would she try to empty that balloon in ways that hurt her
empty that balloon in ways that hurt her
empty that balloon in ways that hurt her and other people and still no one would
and other people and still no one would
and other people and still no one would know about that brokenhearted little
know about that brokenhearted little
know about that brokenhearted little girl our lives and our world moves so
girl our lives and our world moves so
girl our lives and our world moves so fast how often do we miss each other how
fast how often do we miss each other how
fast how often do we miss each other how often do we not see each other’s pain
often do we not see each other’s pain
often do we not see each other’s pain what’s there underneath beyond what we
what’s there underneath beyond what we
what’s there underneath beyond what we can see on the outside how often are you
can see on the outside how often are you
can see on the outside how often are you judged the people you love and how often
judged the people you love and how often
judged the people you love and how often do you judge and make assumptions about
do you judge and make assumptions about
do you judge and make assumptions about other people and like that little girl
other people and like that little girl
other people and like that little girl we all have a story like that little
we all have a story like that little
we all have a story like that little girl we all have feelings so take this
girl we all have feelings so take this
girl we all have feelings so take this moment right now and just notice what
moment right now and just notice what
moment right now and just notice what are you feeling maybe something happened
are you feeling maybe something happened
are you feeling maybe something happened as you walk into this room today and
as you walk into this room today and
as you walk into this room today and you’ve got some feelings that might be
you’ve got some feelings that might be
you’ve got some feelings that might be sitting in your balloon maybe you’re
sitting in your balloon maybe you’re
sitting in your balloon maybe you’re sitting there curious joyful bored just
sitting there curious joyful bored just
sitting there curious joyful bored just notice what is in your balloon right now
notice what is in your balloon right now
notice what is in your balloon right now what are you feeling we’ve all been
what are you feeling we’ve all been
what are you feeling we’ve all been socially trained to not share what we’re
socially trained to not share what we’re
socially trained to not share what we’re feeling on the inside but what would
feeling on the inside but what would
feeling on the inside but what would happen if we took that risk and shared
happen if we took that risk and shared
happen if we took that risk and shared ourselves with each other what would
ourselves with each other what would
ourselves with each other what would happen what would our lives be like our
happen what would our lives be like our
happen what would our lives be like our relationships our connections I know for
relationships our connections I know for
relationships our connections I know for me growing up in my home we did not talk
me growing up in my home we did not talk
me growing up in my home we did not talk about feelings in fact when I was
about feelings in fact when I was
about feelings in fact when I was growing up I was often
growing up I was often
growing up I was often awkward and a shy little kid and I’d go
awkward and a shy little kid and I’d go
awkward and a shy little kid and I’d go to school and not sure how to make
to school and not sure how to make
to school and not sure how to make friends and it really left me lonely and
friends and it really left me lonely and
friends and it really left me lonely and sad and so I put those feelings inside
sad and so I put those feelings inside
sad and so I put those feelings inside of my balloon and in my home there was
of my balloon and in my home there was
of my balloon and in my home there was alcoholism and there was violence and I
alcoholism and there was violence and I
alcoholism and there was violence and I was often afraid and really scared and
was often afraid and really scared and
was often afraid and really scared and no one to talk to so I put those
no one to talk to so I put those
no one to talk to so I put those feelings inside of my balloon and as a
feelings inside of my balloon and as a
feelings inside of my balloon and as a child of immigrant parents I was raised
child of immigrant parents I was raised
child of immigrant parents I was raised to be invisible and oftentimes I wanted
to be invisible and oftentimes I wanted
to be invisible and oftentimes I wanted to speak out and use my voice and be
to speak out and use my voice and be
to speak out and use my voice and be heard and when I didn’t I’d often feel
heard and when I didn’t I’d often feel
heard and when I didn’t I’d often feel disappointed and frustrated with myself
disappointed and frustrated with myself
disappointed and frustrated with myself I put those feelings inside of my
I put those feelings inside of my
I put those feelings inside of my balloon and so as I stand here and I’m
balloon and so as I stand here and I’m
balloon and so as I stand here and I’m looking out at each of you I wonder
looking out at each of you I wonder
looking out at each of you I wonder what’s inside of your balloon what are
what’s inside of your balloon what are
what’s inside of your balloon what are the things that you carry with you every
the things that you carry with you every
the things that you carry with you every day that no one knows about and what are
day that no one knows about and what are
day that no one knows about and what are ways that you deal with your balloon do
ways that you deal with your balloon do
ways that you deal with your balloon do you do hurtful or harmful things to
you do hurtful or harmful things to
you do hurtful or harmful things to yourself for other people to find some
yourself for other people to find some
yourself for other people to find some relief from that pressure or do you do
relief from that pressure or do you do
relief from that pressure or do you do things that are helpful and healthy so
things that are helpful and healthy so
things that are helpful and healthy so you can bring some ease to that balloon
you can bring some ease to that balloon
you can bring some ease to that balloon just notice what is it like to really be
just notice what is it like to really be
just notice what is it like to really be you and does anybody know
every day at soul shop the organization
every day at soul shop the organization I work with we get the opportunity to go
I work with we get the opportunity to go
I work with we get the opportunity to go into schools and support kids to empty
into schools and support kids to empty
into schools and support kids to empty their balloons in helpful ways we have
their balloons in helpful ways we have
their balloons in helpful ways we have the opportunity to give them the tools
the opportunity to give them the tools
the opportunity to give them the tools that they need so that they can work out
that they need so that they can work out
that they need so that they can work out their problems together so that
their problems together so that
their problems together so that compassion forgiveness understanding and
compassion forgiveness understanding and
compassion forgiveness understanding and empathy can rise up imagine our schools
empathy can rise up imagine our schools
empathy can rise up imagine our schools with more empathy imagine in our
with more empathy imagine in our
with more empathy imagine in our communities our homes our families with
communities our homes our families with
communities our homes our families with more empathy imagine if our medical
more empathy imagine if our medical
more empathy imagine if our medical world our technology our politics had
world our technology our politics had
world our technology our politics had more empathy imagine if our leaders led
more empathy imagine if our leaders led
more empathy imagine if our leaders led with empathy what would our world be
with empathy what would our world be
with empathy what would our world be like what would your life be like no
like what would your life be like no
like what would your life be like no matter what sits inside of our balloons
matter what sits inside of our balloons
matter what sits inside of our balloons every single one of us has good inside
every single one of us has good inside
every single one of us has good inside of us just like that little girl so I
of us just like that little girl so I
of us just like that little girl so I want us all to take a moment right now
want us all to take a moment right now
want us all to take a moment right now and just turn to the people that you are
and just turn to the people that you are
and just turn to the people that you are sitting next to if I want you to see how
sitting next to if I want you to see how
sitting next to if I want you to see how easy it is to see the good so go ahead
easy it is to see the good so go ahead
easy it is to see the good so go ahead and turn to the people next to you right
and turn to the people next to you right
and turn to the people next to you right now and just to take a look can you see
now and just to take a look can you see
now and just to take a look can you see can you see the good the good that is
can you see the good the good that is
can you see the good the good that is always there can you see the way they
always there can you see the way they
always there can you see the way they want to be of service the way they want
want to be of service the way they want
want to be of service the way they want their lives to have meaning the way they
their lives to have meaning the way they
their lives to have meaning the way they want to make a
want to make a
want to make a prince can you just see that good in
prince can you just see that good in
prince can you just see that good in each other that good is always there
each other that good is always there
each other that good is always there regardless of whatever might be
regardless of whatever might be
regardless of whatever might be happening on the outside so what would
happening on the outside so what would
happening on the outside so what would it take for us to be as brave has that
it take for us to be as brave has that
it take for us to be as brave has that little girl to be as vulnerable as she
little girl to be as vulnerable as she
little girl to be as vulnerable as she was in front of her entire class and
was in front of her entire class and
was in front of her entire class and what would it take for us to be her
what would it take for us to be her
what would it take for us to be her classmate to listen as open heartedly as
classmate to listen as open heartedly as
classmate to listen as open heartedly as they did in spite of all the previous
they did in spite of all the previous
they did in spite of all the previous behaviors and judgments if we want a
behaviors and judgments if we want a
behaviors and judgments if we want a more compassionate and empathetic world
more compassionate and empathetic world
more compassionate and empathetic world that’s who we have to be together we can
that’s who we have to be together we can
that’s who we have to be together we can raise generation empathy the next
raise generation empathy the next
raise generation empathy the next generation of socially and emotionally
generation of socially and emotionally
generation of socially and emotionally empowered leaders and it starts with us
”
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