so about a month and a half ago I got an email from Leslie who is the dynamic
email from Leslie who is the dynamic
email from Leslie who is the dynamic leader of TEDx Accra asking me to speak
leader of TEDx Accra asking me to speak
leader of TEDx Accra asking me to speak at today’s event my first reaction was
at today’s event my first reaction was
at today’s event my first reaction was what I knew that he had sent the email
what I knew that he had sent the email
what I knew that he had sent the email to the wrong person I thought he meant
to the wrong person I thought he meant
to the wrong person I thought he meant to send it to mommy ah Bravo who is my
to send it to mommy ah Bravo who is my
to send it to mommy ah Bravo who is my co-star in an African City and is
co-star in an African City and is
co-star in an African City and is actually on the cover of the booklet
actually on the cover of the booklet
actually on the cover of the booklet today she spoke at TEDx Accra two years
today she spoke at TEDx Accra two years
today she spoke at TEDx Accra two years ago and was dynamic and fabulous
ago and was dynamic and fabulous
ago and was dynamic and fabulous there was no way this email was meant
there was no way this email was meant
there was no way this email was meant for me so I immediately flipped open my
for me so I immediately flipped open my
for me so I immediately flipped open my laptop to respond to Leslie’s email I
laptop to respond to Leslie’s email I
laptop to respond to Leslie’s email I specifically wanted to send this email
specifically wanted to send this email
specifically wanted to send this email from my laptop because I wanted to make
from my laptop because I wanted to make
from my laptop because I wanted to make sure that my signature and my full name
sure that my signature and my full name
sure that my signature and my full name showed up at the end of the email so he
showed up at the end of the email so he
showed up at the end of the email so he was clear that he had sent this email to
was clear that he had sent this email to
was clear that he had sent this email to mommy AJ after a few hours I was
mommy AJ after a few hours I was
mommy AJ after a few hours I was horrified when he responded and said
horrified when he responded and said
horrified when he responded and said nope it’s for you I immediately went
nope it’s for you I immediately went
nope it’s for you I immediately went into panic mode what could it benefit a
into panic mode what could it benefit a
into panic mode what could it benefit a group of what I expected to be dynamic
group of what I expected to be dynamic
group of what I expected to be dynamic intelligent creative men and women to
intelligent creative men and women to
intelligent creative men and women to hear me speak what did I have to say
hear me speak what did I have to say
hear me speak what did I have to say Leslie and I scheduled to schedule the
Leslie and I scheduled to schedule the
Leslie and I scheduled to schedule the Skype call and my first question to him
Skype call and my first question to him
Skype call and my first question to him was why me he gave me a slew of what
was why me he gave me a slew of what
was why me he gave me a slew of what seemed at the time to be great reasons
seemed at the time to be great reasons
seemed at the time to be great reasons why I was worthy to speak to you today
why I was worthy to speak to you today
why I was worthy to speak to you today but by then imposter syndrome had
but by then imposter syndrome had
but by then imposter syndrome had already said it
already said it
already said it so imposter syndrome is described by
so imposter syndrome is described by
so imposter syndrome is described by Susan AIIMS a psychologist as the
Susan AIIMS a psychologist as the
Susan AIIMS a psychologist as the inability for high achieving individuals
inability for high achieving individuals
inability for high achieving individuals to internalize their accomplishments and
to internalize their accomplishments and
to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a
a persistent fear of being exposed as a
a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud
fraud
fraud I was me cuz like know how they gonna
I was me cuz like know how they gonna
I was me cuz like know how they gonna find out I can’t speak I can’t act I
find out I can’t speak I can’t act I
find out I can’t speak I can’t act I couldn’t do anything then I started
couldn’t do anything then I started
couldn’t do anything then I started thinking about the theme of today’s
thinking about the theme of today’s
thinking about the theme of today’s event it’s about time it’s about time
event it’s about time it’s about time
event it’s about time it’s about time what would I even talk about under that
what would I even talk about under that
what would I even talk about under that theme okay I could talk about my travel
theme okay I could talk about my travel
theme okay I could talk about my travel show girl going places and how I
show girl going places and how I
show girl going places and how I adamantly believe that it’s about time
adamantly believe that it’s about time
adamantly believe that it’s about time that US is Africans and people of the
that US is Africans and people of the
that US is Africans and people of the Diaspora travel our own spaces explore
Diaspora travel our own spaces explore
Diaspora travel our own spaces explore our own cities visit our own country and
our own cities visit our own country and
our own cities visit our own country and how knowing your own country in a
how knowing your own country in a
how knowing your own country in a physical sense is so deeply tied to who
physical sense is so deeply tied to who
physical sense is so deeply tied to who you are and your self-confidence and I
you are and your self-confidence and I
you are and your self-confidence and I had experienced that firsthand while
had experienced that firsthand while
had experienced that firsthand while traveling Ghana so I could talk about
traveling Ghana so I could talk about
traveling Ghana so I could talk about that yeah or I could talk about how I
that yeah or I could talk about how I
that yeah or I could talk about how I felt it was about time that we started
felt it was about time that we started
felt it was about time that we started writing our own stories telling our own
writing our own stories telling our own
writing our own stories telling our own narratives especially as African women
narratives especially as African women
narratives especially as African women sharing our views on the world like an
sharing our views on the world like an
sharing our views on the world like an African city dispelling negative
African city dispelling negative
African city dispelling negative stereotypes of ourselves that we don’t
stereotypes of ourselves that we don’t
stereotypes of ourselves that we don’t like yeah I could talk about that but
like yeah I could talk about that but
like yeah I could talk about that but everything in my body was telling me
everything in my body was telling me
everything in my body was telling me that the only thing I needed to talk
that the only thing I needed to talk
that the only thing I needed to talk about today was fear I was scared
about today was fear I was scared
about today was fear I was scared over the last month I have tried
over the last month I have tried
over the last month I have tried everything to not be here today every
everything to not be here today every
everything to not be here today every single thing every deadline that Leslie
single thing every deadline that Leslie
single thing every deadline that Leslie gave me to submit my talk I missed
gave me to submit my talk I missed
gave me to submit my talk I missed intentionally I was just waiting for him
intentionally I was just waiting for him
intentionally I was just waiting for him to send me an email and say sister girl
to send me an email and say sister girl
to send me an email and say sister girl sorry you can’t speak you missed the
sorry you can’t speak you missed the
sorry you can’t speak you missed the deadline I reached out to all my friends
deadline I reached out to all my friends
deadline I reached out to all my friends and family just waiting for somebody to
and family just waiting for somebody to
and family just waiting for somebody to say yeah I mean you know you’re doing
say yeah I mean you know you’re doing
say yeah I mean you know you’re doing your acting thing it’s cute you’re doing
your acting thing it’s cute you’re doing
your acting thing it’s cute you’re doing your producer thing it’s nice but TEDx
your producer thing it’s nice but TEDx
your producer thing it’s nice but TEDx no no no TEDx is TEDx is Chimamanda
no no no TEDx is TEDx is Chimamanda
no no no TEDx is TEDx is Chimamanda you know TEDx is brené Brown mommies
you know TEDx is brené Brown mommies
you know TEDx is brené Brown mommies stay in your lane this is not for you
stay in your lane this is not for you
stay in your lane this is not for you even this is a true story
even this is a true story
even this is a true story even up until last week I was trying to
even up until last week I was trying to
even up until last week I was trying to change my ticket to extend my already
change my ticket to extend my already
change my ticket to extend my already eight week stay in the States so that I
eight week stay in the States so that I
eight week stay in the States so that I would have a legitimate reason to miss
would have a legitimate reason to miss
would have a legitimate reason to miss this event strapped with fear then I
this event strapped with fear then I
this event strapped with fear then I thought about the moments in my life
thought about the moments in my life
thought about the moments in my life that I had had intense courage the
that I had had intense courage the
that I had had intense courage the moments that I was forgetting about at
moments that I was forgetting about at
moments that I was forgetting about at 14 I left my mother and decided to live
14 I left my mother and decided to live
14 I left my mother and decided to live with my father it was a complete
with my father it was a complete
with my father it was a complete awakening for me because it was the
awakening for me because it was the
awakening for me because it was the first time that I realized that my
first time that I realized that my
first time that I realized that my mother had built this amazing fence this
mother had built this amazing fence this
mother had built this amazing fence this comfortable life that I relied on her
comfortable life that I relied on her
comfortable life that I relied on her for every single thing especially
for every single thing especially
for every single thing especially emotionally all of a sudden I had
emotionally all of a sudden I had
emotionally all of a sudden I had decided to move to another country to
decided to move to another country to
decided to move to another country to live with my father who at that time I
live with my father who at that time I
live with my father who at that time I just hadn’t spent a lot of time with but
just hadn’t spent a lot of time with but
just hadn’t spent a lot of time with but I believed deeply that it was about time
I believed deeply that it was about time
I believed deeply that it was about time that I pushed through the relationship
that I pushed through the relationship
that I pushed through the relationship with him so I did it no fear at 17 I
with him so I did it no fear at 17 I
with him so I did it no fear at 17 I decided that tumba University in
decided that tumba University in
decided that tumba University in Philadelphia Pennsylvania was the only
Philadelphia Pennsylvania was the only
Philadelphia Pennsylvania was the only University that I wanted to go to
University that I wanted to go to
University that I wanted to go to I had no extended family there nor
I had no extended family there nor
I had no extended family there nor auntie’s no uncles basically if I went
auntie’s no uncles basically if I went
auntie’s no uncles basically if I went to Philadelphia I would be on my own
to Philadelphia I would be on my own
to Philadelphia I would be on my own couple that with the fact that my mother
couple that with the fact that my mother
couple that with the fact that my mother had no idea how she was going to pay
had no idea how she was going to pay
had no idea how she was going to pay this $20,000 a year four years tuition
this $20,000 a year four years tuition
this $20,000 a year four years tuition even finding the money to secure my spot
even finding the money to secure my spot
even finding the money to secure my spot at Temple in my housing at Temple was a
at Temple in my housing at Temple was a
at Temple in my housing at Temple was a problem but I did it no fear
four years ago in September 2012
four years ago in September 2012 I came to Ghana for a two-week vacation
I came to Ghana for a two-week vacation
I came to Ghana for a two-week vacation and by the time I was leaving I knew it
and by the time I was leaving I knew it
and by the time I was leaving I knew it was time to move back home I went back
was time to move back home I went back
was time to move back home I went back packed everything I owned
packed everything I owned
packed everything I owned cooking pots my fridge ceiling fan
cooking pots my fridge ceiling fan
cooking pots my fridge ceiling fan everything I took everything with me and
everything I took everything with me and
everything I took everything with me and by December 1st I was back in Ghana
by December 1st I was back in Ghana
by December 1st I was back in Ghana against the advice of my family my
against the advice of my family my
against the advice of my family my friends my mother I had a set life in
friends my mother I had a set life in
friends my mother I had a set life in Philly
Philly
Philly I had a house I had a car I had a decent
I had a house I had a car I had a decent
I had a house I had a car I had a decent job I had a kind of sort of not really
job I had a kind of sort of not really
job I had a kind of sort of not really boyfriend and I had no idea what I was
boyfriend and I had no idea what I was
boyfriend and I had no idea what I was gonna do when I came back to Ghana what
gonna do when I came back to Ghana what
gonna do when I came back to Ghana what was I gonna do career-wise no idea but I
was I gonna do career-wise no idea but I
was I gonna do career-wise no idea but I felt so deeply then it was time for me
felt so deeply then it was time for me
felt so deeply then it was time for me to come back and so into my country but
to come back and so into my country but
to come back and so into my country but more importantly so into myself and I
more importantly so into myself and I
more importantly so into myself and I knew that this was the only place I
knew that this was the only place I
knew that this was the only place I could do that so I did it no fear these
could do that so I did it no fear these
could do that so I did it no fear these are three pivotal moments in my life
are three pivotal moments in my life
are three pivotal moments in my life each moment is so layered but I couldn’t
each moment is so layered but I couldn’t
each moment is so layered but I couldn’t go into it with you today but they are
go into it with you today but they are
go into it with you today but they are critical and restructuring who I was and
critical and restructuring who I was and
critical and restructuring who I was and creating Who I am today I say all of
creating Who I am today I say all of
creating Who I am today I say all of this to say that fear fear has an
this to say that fear fear has an
this to say that fear fear has an uncanny ability to just rare its ugly
uncanny ability to just rare its ugly
uncanny ability to just rare its ugly head at the very moment that is critical
head at the very moment that is critical
head at the very moment that is critical to your expansion as a human being so
to your expansion as a human being so
to your expansion as a human being so it’s about time you push fear aside I’m
it’s about time you push fear aside I’m
it’s about time you push fear aside I’m speaking to you I’m speaking to my shaky
speaking to you I’m speaking to my shaky
speaking to you I’m speaking to my shaky hands my shaky feet my sweaty face it’s
hands my shaky feet my sweaty face it’s
hands my shaky feet my sweaty face it’s about time it’s about time you silence
about time it’s about time you silence
about time it’s about time you silence that voice of doubt how many times have
that voice of doubt how many times have
that voice of doubt how many times have you heard that voice of doubt in your
you heard that voice of doubt in your
you heard that voice of doubt in your head tell you that you are incapable and
head tell you that you are incapable and
head tell you that you are incapable and unworthy and you have mistaken that
unworthy and you have mistaken that
unworthy and you have mistaken that voice of doubt for voice of reason
voice of doubt for voice of reason
voice of doubt for voice of reason it’s about time that you pursue your
it’s about time that you pursue your
it’s about time that you pursue your goals and your passions vigilantly it’s
goals and your passions vigilantly it’s
goals and your passions vigilantly it’s about time that you make a decision that
about time that you make a decision that
about time that you make a decision that the only path you’re going to be on is
the only path you’re going to be on is
the only path you’re going to be on is one that is in pursuit of what is on
one that is in pursuit of what is on
one that is in pursuit of what is on your heart to fulfill in this lifetime
your heart to fulfill in this lifetime
your heart to fulfill in this lifetime in this only lifetime we have it’s about
in this only lifetime we have it’s about
in this only lifetime we have it’s about time you send that email go to that
time you send that email go to that
time you send that email go to that audition apply for that job reach out to
audition apply for that job reach out to
audition apply for that job reach out to John Benjamin looking for a job he has
John Benjamin looking for a job he has
John Benjamin looking for a job he has one for you it’s about time the only
one for you it’s about time the only
one for you it’s about time the only thing that’s stopping us from achieving
thing that’s stopping us from achieving
thing that’s stopping us from achieving our greatest Heights is fear which means
our greatest Heights is fear which means
our greatest Heights is fear which means the only thing that’s stopping us is
the only thing that’s stopping us is
the only thing that’s stopping us is ourselves so just as I said to myself a
ourselves so just as I said to myself a
ourselves so just as I said to myself a month and a half ago when I got that
month and a half ago when I got that
month and a half ago when I got that email from Leslie just as I said to
email from Leslie just as I said to
email from Leslie just as I said to myself a few weeks ago when I attempted
myself a few weeks ago when I attempted
myself a few weeks ago when I attempted to find a topic to talk about today just
to find a topic to talk about today just
to find a topic to talk about today just as I’ve been saying but to myself for
as I’ve been saying but to myself for
as I’ve been saying but to myself for the last three or four hours that I’ve
the last three or four hours that I’ve
the last three or four hours that I’ve been sitting back here mommy a gyg Biwa
been sitting back here mommy a gyg Biwa
been sitting back here mommy a gyg Biwa yes that’s my full name I son tune in to
yes that’s my full name I son tune in to
yes that’s my full name I son tune in to the Corps represent just as I’ve been
the Corps represent just as I’ve been
the Corps represent just as I’ve been saying to myself at these last few weeks
saying to myself at these last few weeks
saying to myself at these last few weeks I say to you everyone here younger than
I say to you everyone here younger than
I say to you everyone here younger than me very much younger than me older than
me very much younger than me older than
me very much younger than me older than me and very much older than me no fear
no fear get out of your own way because
no fear get out of your own way because it’s about time thank you
[Music]
[Music] you
”
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