[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] everyone knows that growing up and
everyone knows that growing up and
everyone knows that growing up and growing old are not the same thing and I
growing old are not the same thing and I
growing old are not the same thing and I am not sure which scares me the most
am not sure which scares me the most
am not sure which scares me the most my therapist says it’s good to count to
my therapist says it’s good to count to
my therapist says it’s good to count to 10 I shut up when I was 10 never really
10 I shut up when I was 10 never really
10 I shut up when I was 10 never really grew again it was the same year I
grew again it was the same year I
grew again it was the same year I learned bees can only sting you once
learned bees can only sting you once
learned bees can only sting you once that sometimes being still is the best
that sometimes being still is the best
that sometimes being still is the best way to protect yourself
way to protect yourself
way to protect yourself I thought you to punch the next year
I thought you to punch the next year
I thought you to punch the next year sometimes moving is the best way to
sometimes moving is the best way to
sometimes moving is the best way to protect yourself when I was 3 and
protect yourself when I was 3 and
protect yourself when I was 3 and needles stung me and I was paralyzed I
needles stung me and I was paralyzed I
needles stung me and I was paralyzed I learned to walk two times I wonder if
learned to walk two times I wonder if
learned to walk two times I wonder if bees which is a different life if they
bees which is a different life if they
bees which is a different life if they could sting two times I wonder if I’ll
could sting two times I wonder if I’ll
could sting two times I wonder if I’ll lose my sense of wonder if I’ll give up
lose my sense of wonder if I’ll give up
lose my sense of wonder if I’ll give up on my dreams and call them fantasies in
on my dreams and call them fantasies in
on my dreams and call them fantasies in that cardboard box voice people get like
that cardboard box voice people get like
that cardboard box voice people get like if they sit in cubicles for long enough
if they sit in cubicles for long enough
if they sit in cubicles for long enough they become one maybe that’s why we say
they become one maybe that’s why we say
they become one maybe that’s why we say don’t be a square I want to fit wherever
don’t be a square I want to fit wherever
don’t be a square I want to fit wherever I am as if I came into existence right
I am as if I came into existence right
I am as if I came into existence right there like I was always meant to fill
there like I was always meant to fill
there like I was always meant to fill that space my therapist says it’s good
that space my therapist says it’s good
that space my therapist says it’s good to count to 10 my therapist says I make
to count to 10 my therapist says I make
to count to 10 my therapist says I make mountains out of mole hills and I want
mountains out of mole hills and I want
mountains out of mole hills and I want to say I am a mountain but mountains can
to say I am a mountain but mountains can
to say I am a mountain but mountains can be climbed and conquered and I want to
be climbed and conquered and I want to
be climbed and conquered and I want to say I am an open flame but fire can be
say I am an open flame but fire can be
say I am an open flame but fire can be extinguished and I want to say I am
extinguished and I want to say I am
extinguished and I want to say I am afraid but I am afraid and the truth is
afraid but I am afraid and the truth is
afraid but I am afraid and the truth is that I am a planner who can never plan
that I am a planner who can never plan
that I am a planner who can never plan ahead because I’m always expecting the
ahead because I’m always expecting the
ahead because I’m always expecting the unexpected always preparing to run for
unexpected always preparing to run for
unexpected always preparing to run for cover
cover
cover I am mire and cover I am fight and
I am mire and cover I am fight and
I am mire and cover I am fight and flight
flight
flight I am panic shaking through body deep
I am panic shaking through body deep
I am panic shaking through body deep like magic maybe it’s magic I’m magic I
like magic maybe it’s magic I’m magic I
like magic maybe it’s magic I’m magic I believe in myself so it must be true
believe in myself so it must be true
believe in myself so it must be true when I was six years old I wanted to be
when I was six years old I wanted to be
when I was six years old I wanted to be a doctor I cut the pages of my exercise
a doctor I cut the pages of my exercise
a doctor I cut the pages of my exercise book in half tearing out smiley face
book in half tearing out smiley face
book in half tearing out smiley face to treat people’s affliction seven years
to treat people’s affliction seven years
to treat people’s affliction seven years later I sat with the notebook and pen
later I sat with the notebook and pen
later I sat with the notebook and pen determined to be writing as black sky
determined to be writing as black sky
determined to be writing as black sky ran blue like paint running down a sink
ran blue like paint running down a sink
ran blue like paint running down a sink and when I was famous I told everyone
and when I was famous I told everyone
and when I was famous I told everyone the story of the kid who breathed paper
the story of the kid who breathed paper
the story of the kid who breathed paper and ink
and ink
and ink I wrote eight stories but didn’t like
I wrote eight stories but didn’t like
I wrote eight stories but didn’t like them so I made myself number nine I shut
them so I made myself number nine I shut
them so I made myself number nine I shut up when I was 10 never really grew again
up when I was 10 never really grew again
up when I was 10 never really grew again when I was 11 I found an owl in the
when I was 11 I found an owl in the
when I was 11 I found an owl in the bathroom and was convinced my Hogwarts
bathroom and was convinced my Hogwarts
bathroom and was convinced my Hogwarts letter arrived at 12 I became a walking
letter arrived at 12 I became a walking
letter arrived at 12 I became a walking target there were 13 times I felt unsafe
target there were 13 times I felt unsafe
target there were 13 times I felt unsafe 14 times I questioned my faith 15
14 times I questioned my faith 15
14 times I questioned my faith 15 prescribe pills for a smiling face when
prescribe pills for a smiling face when
prescribe pills for a smiling face when I was 16 I learned how punnett squares
I was 16 I learned how punnett squares
I was 16 I learned how punnett squares work I learnt the word for the smell of
work I learnt the word for the smell of
work I learnt the word for the smell of rain on the earth I learned 17 ways to
rain on the earth I learned 17 ways to
rain on the earth I learned 17 ways to measure my self-worth the 18th was the
measure my self-worth the 18th was the
measure my self-worth the 18th was the realization that looking for absolution
realization that looking for absolution
realization that looking for absolution in sharp objects could only make things
in sharp objects could only make things
in sharp objects could only make things worse when I was 19 I learned that
worse when I was 19 I learned that
worse when I was 19 I learned that sometimes people say love when they mean
sometimes people say love when they mean
sometimes people say love when they mean ownership at 20 I found out that the
ownership at 20 I found out that the
ownership at 20 I found out that the world does not stop spinning for anybody
world does not stop spinning for anybody
world does not stop spinning for anybody I’m 21 now I’ve started growing again
I’m 21 now I’ve started growing again
I’m 21 now I’ve started growing again turns out not everyone does know that
turns out not everyone does know that
turns out not everyone does know that growing up and growing old are not the
growing up and growing old are not the
growing up and growing old are not the same thing
same thing
same thing I’m still not sure which scares me the
I’m still not sure which scares me the
I’m still not sure which scares me the most
most
most [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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