Epistemic homelessness | Guilaine Kinouani | TEDxUCLWomen

okay so when I was about 20 a

okay so when I was about 20 a twenty-year-old undergraduate student I

twenty-year-old undergraduate student I

twenty-year-old undergraduate student I lost my home

lost my home

lost my home my husband and I had fallen on financial

my husband and I had fallen on financial

my husband and I had fallen on financial hardship because working really hard on

hardship because working really hard on

hardship because working really hard on my finals I got pregnant and then I

my finals I got pregnant and then I

my finals I got pregnant and then I could not work because of Threatened

could not work because of Threatened

could not work because of Threatened miscarriage and then premature labor and

miscarriage and then premature labor and

miscarriage and then premature labor and on the day that we were expelled

on the day that we were expelled

on the day that we were expelled we waited outside for the council to

we waited outside for the council to

we waited outside for the council to decide whether I was indeed homeless

decide whether I was indeed homeless

decide whether I was indeed homeless whether I had made myself intentionally

whether I had made myself intentionally

whether I had made myself intentionally homeless and whether I was deserving of

homeless and whether I was deserving of

homeless and whether I was deserving of a home now I want you to picture this

a home now I want you to picture this

a home now I want you to picture this so please imagine that you are standing

so please imagine that you are standing

so please imagine that you are standing outside what used to be your home and

you have the few pieces of furniture

you have the few pieces of furniture that you own as a 20 year old scattered

that you own as a 20 year old scattered

that you own as a 20 year old scattered on the plain on the pavement and you

on the plain on the pavement and you

on the plain on the pavement and you have in your arm a small baby who as

have in your arm a small baby who as

have in your arm a small baby who as predicted was born prematurely

predicted was born prematurely

predicted was born prematurely and you are trying to make sure that we

and you are trying to make sure that we

and you are trying to make sure that we are warm and you are waiting how might

are warm and you are waiting how might

are warm and you are waiting how might you be feeling what kind of thoughts are

you be feeling what kind of thoughts are

you be feeling what kind of thoughts are going through your mind well I will tell

going through your mind well I will tell

going through your mind well I will tell you what went through my the phrase

you what went through my the phrase

you what went through my the phrase intentionally homeless resonated in my

intentionally homeless resonated in my

intentionally homeless resonated in my head

head

head and then I started to wonder I wondered

and then I started to wonder I wondered

and then I started to wonder I wondered whether I was to blame I wondered

whether I was to blame I wondered

whether I was to blame I wondered whether I had in fact not wanted to

whether I had in fact not wanted to

whether I had in fact not wanted to carry my baby to term I wondered whether

carry my baby to term I wondered whether

carry my baby to term I wondered whether the skepticism of the council was

the skepticism of the council was

the skepticism of the council was warranted and I wondered whether I was

warranted and I wondered whether I was

warranted and I wondered whether I was deserving

deserving

deserving of her home I was waiting and I was

of her home I was waiting and I was

of her home I was waiting and I was waiting for someone to take me home but

waiting for someone to take me home but

waiting for someone to take me home but not only in the physical sense because

not only in the physical sense because

not only in the physical sense because home was what I knew and what was real

home was what I knew and what was real

home was what I knew and what was real was home and in this moment I have never

was home and in this moment I have never

was home and in this moment I have never felt so exposed and ashamed and

felt so exposed and ashamed and

felt so exposed and ashamed and powerless and vulnerable in my sense of

powerless and vulnerable in my sense of

powerless and vulnerable in my sense of sanity now as a therapist I have been

sanity now as a therapist I have been

sanity now as a therapist I have been doing socio-politically and feminist

doing socio-politically and feminist

doing socio-politically and feminist inform work primarily with women of

inform work primarily with women of

inform work primarily with women of color and I started to recognize glimpse

color and I started to recognize glimpse

color and I started to recognize glimpse of my experience in the stories of sir

of my experience in the stories of sir

of my experience in the stories of sir told racism that women had entrusted me

told racism that women had entrusted me

told racism that women had entrusted me with and I started to make the

with and I started to make the

with and I started to make the connection of course and it is this

connection of course and it is this

connection of course and it is this connection that I would like to speak to

connection that I would like to speak to

connection that I would like to speak to you all about today and specifically to

you all about today and specifically to

you all about today and specifically to put to you that our capacity to have a

put to you that our capacity to have a

put to you that our capacity to have a home is dependent on our capacity to

home is dependent on our capacity to

home is dependent on our capacity to know or conversely that our capacity to

know or conversely that our capacity to

know or conversely that our capacity to know is dependent on a capacity to have

know is dependent on a capacity to have

know is dependent on a capacity to have a home but before I go on to explain I

a home but before I go on to explain I

a home but before I go on to explain I need to start off with some definitions

need to start off with some definitions

need to start off with some definitions so firstly homelessness and I take it to

so firstly homelessness and I take it to

so firstly homelessness and I take it to mean the condition of being without a

mean the condition of being without a

mean the condition of being without a permanent dwelling or the experience of

permanent dwelling or the experience of

permanent dwelling or the experience of feeling left without safe adequate or

feeling left without safe adequate or

feeling left without safe adequate or secure housing the second concept we

secure housing the second concept we

secure housing the second concept we need to think about is epistemic

need to think about is epistemic

need to think about is epistemic injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy

injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy

injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy world isn’t it a little bit well where I

world isn’t it a little bit well where I

world isn’t it a little bit well where I come from it is you can say anyway but

come from it is you can say anyway but

come from it is you can say anyway but actually what it means is things that

actually what it means is things that

actually what it means is things that are to do with knowing and knowledge and

are to do with knowing and knowledge and

are to do with knowing and knowledge and understanding the world and Myranda

understanding the world and Myranda

understanding the world and Myranda frikar proposes that epistemic injustice

frikar proposes that epistemic injustice

frikar proposes that epistemic injustice is done to us when we are rolled in our

is done to us when we are rolled in our

is done to us when we are rolled in our capacity to know or in our capacity

capacity to know or in our capacity

capacity to know or in our capacity to contribute to knowledge the final

to contribute to knowledge the final

to contribute to knowledge the final concept that might be helpful to bear in

concept that might be helpful to bear in

concept that might be helpful to bear in mind is that of ontological insecurity

mind is that of ontological insecurity

mind is that of ontological insecurity and ontological insecurity refers to

and ontological insecurity refers to

and ontological insecurity refers to people’s sense of security or insecurity

people’s sense of security or insecurity

people’s sense of security or insecurity about their being in the world

about their being in the world

about their being in the world it is conceptualized as a sense of

it is conceptualized as a sense of

it is conceptualized as a sense of intense anxiety or dread which results

intense anxiety or dread which results

intense anxiety or dread which results from being unable to give meaning to the

from being unable to give meaning to the

from being unable to give meaning to the event that opinion a life or when we

event that opinion a life or when we

event that opinion a life or when we struggle with knowing the reality or the

struggle with knowing the reality or the

struggle with knowing the reality or the existence of things of others and of the

existence of things of others and of the

existence of things of others and of the world so let’s go back to that

world so let’s go back to that

world so let’s go back to that connection our capacity to know is

connection our capacity to know is

connection our capacity to know is dependent on a capacity to have a home

dependent on a capacity to have a home

dependent on a capacity to have a home so let’s think about this we know that

so let’s think about this we know that

so let’s think about this we know that go home and knowing provide a sense of

go home and knowing provide a sense of

go home and knowing provide a sense of safety and security in time and in space

safety and security in time and in space

safety and security in time and in space we know that both home and knowing

we know that both home and knowing

we know that both home and knowing delineate boundaries boundaries between

delineate boundaries boundaries between

delineate boundaries boundaries between us and the world

us and the world

us and the world boundaries between the in and out

boundaries between the in and out

boundaries between the in and out boundaries between the known and the

boundaries between the known and the

boundaries between the known and the unknown and we know that both home and

unknown and we know that both home and

unknown and we know that both home and knowing provide a frame whether

knowing provide a frame whether

knowing provide a frame whether epistemic cognitive or physical and

epistemic cognitive or physical and

epistemic cognitive or physical and finally I would suggest that home and

finally I would suggest that home and

finally I would suggest that home and knowing both grandis and anchors but as

knowing both grandis and anchors but as

knowing both grandis and anchors but as not all and that is something else and

not all and that is something else and

not all and that is something else and something quite significant and I

something quite significant and I

something quite significant and I suggest that it is power because in the

suggest that it is power because in the

suggest that it is power because in the same way that physical homelessness

same way that physical homelessness

same way that physical homelessness require power inequality to work as it

require power inequality to work as it

require power inequality to work as it is usually people with more social power

is usually people with more social power

is usually people with more social power we can displace us and then decide

we can displace us and then decide

we can displace us and then decide whether we are entitled to the house or

whether we are entitled to the house or

whether we are entitled to the house or not

not

not stomach homelessness also require power

stomach homelessness also require power

stomach homelessness also require power to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m

to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m

to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m sure that many of us today would have

sure that many of us today would have

sure that many of us today would have experienced this in the context of

experienced this in the context of

experienced this in the context of social oppression some might refer to

social oppression some might refer to

social oppression some might refer to such experience as micro aggression so

such experience as micro aggression so

such experience as micro aggression so let’s say maybe you are in the queue and

let’s say maybe you are in the queue and

let’s say maybe you are in the queue and the white person behind you get served

the white person behind you get served

the white person behind you get served before you or maybe as a brown or black

before you or maybe as a brown or black

before you or maybe as a brown or black body you are complimented on how well

body you are complimented on how well

body you are complimented on how well you speak English or indeed French or

you speak English or indeed French or

you speak English or indeed French or perhaps you enter a white space and you

perhaps you enter a white space and you

perhaps you enter a white space and you get hit by the gaze and it is said

get hit by the gaze and it is said

get hit by the gaze and it is said without being said that you are

without being said that you are

without being said that you are trespassing that your body does not

trespassing that your body does not

trespassing that your body does not belong and you feel hitting your guns

belong and you feel hitting your guns

belong and you feel hitting your guns and you know but as soon as you feel the

and you know but as soon as you feel the

and you know but as soon as you feel the violence particularly if you try to name

violence particularly if you try to name

violence particularly if you try to name the violence it is usually denied by

the violence it is usually denied by

the violence it is usually denied by people with more social power and so you

people with more social power and so you

people with more social power and so you might be told that you have a chip on

might be told that you have a chip on

might be told that you have a chip on your shoulder that you are paranoid and

your shoulder that you are paranoid and

your shoulder that you are paranoid and if you show any sign of distress or

if you show any sign of distress or

if you show any sign of distress or offense or god forbid anger you will be

offense or god forbid anger you will be

offense or god forbid anger you will be duly invited to respond more

duly invited to respond more

duly invited to respond more appropriately and it is at this time

appropriately and it is at this time

appropriately and it is at this time that you may start to doubt yourself

that you may start to doubt yourself

that you may start to doubt yourself that you’re pissed emic confidence might

that you’re pissed emic confidence might

that you’re pissed emic confidence might get hit that is your confidence in your

get hit that is your confidence in your

get hit that is your confidence in your capacity to know so you may start to

capacity to know so you may start to

capacity to know so you may start to wonder is it me am I the problem

wonder is it me am I the problem

wonder is it me am I the problem am i fabricating the problem because in

am i fabricating the problem because in

am i fabricating the problem because in the world of ceramic when we speak of a

the world of ceramic when we speak of a

the world of ceramic when we speak of a problem will become a problem and then

problem will become a problem and then

problem will become a problem and then you might think am I going mad

you might think am I going mad

you might think am I going mad now all the stories that were shared

now all the stories that were shared

now all the stories that were shared with me in therapy had a pistol make

with me in therapy had a pistol make

with me in therapy had a pistol make homelessness as a theme whatever were

homelessness as a theme whatever were

homelessness as a theme whatever were stories of work contribution being

stories of work contribution being

stories of work contribution being overlooked or stories of invisible eyes

overlooked or stories of invisible eyes

overlooked or stories of invisible eyes pain stories of being forced into

pain stories of being forced into

pain stories of being forced into stereotypes and stories about struggling

stereotypes and stories about struggling

stereotypes and stories about struggling to break free all the stories that I

to break free all the stories that I

to break free all the stories that I heard where stories of denial and

heard where stories of denial and

heard where stories of denial and invalidation each and every one of the

invalidation each and every one of the

invalidation each and every one of the story that I heard where a story of the

story that I heard where a story of the

story that I heard where a story of the normalization of the sades denial and

normalization of the sades denial and

normalization of the sades denial and invalidation you see because certain

invalidation you see because certain

invalidation you see because certain racism cannot be sane easily

racism cannot be sane easily

racism cannot be sane easily particularly by people who do not

particularly by people who do not

particularly by people who do not experience it it is easily tonight

experience it it is easily tonight

experience it it is easily tonight because again it cannot be seen you

because again it cannot be seen you

because again it cannot be seen you cannot see what you are unwilling to see

cannot see what you are unwilling to see

cannot see what you are unwilling to see and you cannot see what you have been

and you cannot see what you have been

and you cannot see what you have been programmed not to see and not every

programmed not to see and not every

programmed not to see and not every phenomenon that are or is inexistent can

phenomenon that are or is inexistent can

phenomenon that are or is inexistent can be seen but I have seen the distress and

be seen but I have seen the distress and

be seen but I have seen the distress and I have seen the subtle oppression and I

I have seen the subtle oppression and I

I have seen the subtle oppression and I have experienced it too but of course

have experienced it too but of course

have experienced it too but of course that’s not enough

that’s not enough

that’s not enough I am a final year doctoral student and

I am a final year doctoral student and

I am a final year doctoral student and therefore the importance of evidence and

therefore the importance of evidence and

therefore the importance of evidence and of having a scientific and querying mind

of having a scientific and querying mind

of having a scientific and querying mind cannot be overstated and so in my search

cannot be overstated and so in my search

cannot be overstated and so in my search for truth I did what all scientists

for truth I did what all scientists

for truth I did what all scientists would do of course I turned to Twitter

would do of course I turned to Twitter

would do of course I turned to Twitter and then I ran a few polls and the first

and then I ran a few polls and the first

and then I ran a few polls and the first question which was answered by 549

question which was answered by 549

question which was answered by 549 people asked whether people of color

people asked whether people of color

people asked whether people of color experienced covert racism and overt

experienced covert racism and overt

experienced covert racism and overt racism as equally challenging and the

racism as equally challenging and the

racism as equally challenging and the results suggested that covert racism was

results suggested that covert racism was

results suggested that covert racism was experienced about seven times more

experienced about seven times more

experienced about seven times more challenging the second question was

challenging the second question was

challenging the second question was answered by 336 people and was asking

answered by 336 people and was asking

answered by 336 people and was asking about the experience of those who had

about the experience of those who had

about the experience of those who had spoken out about their experience of

spoken out about their experience of

spoken out about their experience of social presence of certain racism in

social presence of certain racism in

social presence of certain racism in particular and so I want you to know

particular and so I want you to know

particular and so I want you to know what had happened to them result

what had happened to them result

what had happened to them result indicated that 95 percent of people of

indicated that 95 percent of people of

indicated that 95 percent of people of color who had spoken about the

color who had spoken about the

color who had spoken about the experience of Sirte racism had been

experience of Sirte racism had been

experience of Sirte racism had been either ignored ridiculed or simply

either ignored ridiculed or simply

either ignored ridiculed or simply disbelieved living only 5% of those who

disbelieved living only 5% of those who

disbelieved living only 5% of those who had taken the poll saying that they had

had taken the poll saying that they had

had taken the poll saying that they had been believed or that they had been

been believed or that they had been

been believed or that they had been treated kindly the last poll was curious

treated kindly the last poll was curious

treated kindly the last poll was curious to find out what the impact of this

to find out what the impact of this

to find out what the impact of this denial of this epistemic injustice was

denial of this epistemic injustice was

denial of this epistemic injustice was on people of color and a wide range of

on people of color and a wide range of

on people of color and a wide range of responses were reported the first one

responses were reported the first one

responses were reported the first one which was answered by 36% of those who

which was answered by 36% of those who

which was answered by 36% of those who took the poll was feeling as though one

took the poll was feeling as though one

took the poll was feeling as though one is losing was mind and the second

is losing was mind and the second

is losing was mind and the second question and said by about 32% of those

question and said by about 32% of those

question and said by about 32% of those who took the poll was feeling in pain

who took the poll was feeling in pain

who took the poll was feeling in pain and in distress now as I said there was

and in distress now as I said there was

and in distress now as I said there was a wide range of response so some of the

a wide range of response so some of the

a wide range of response so some of the response included feeling anger feeling

response included feeling anger feeling

response included feeling anger feeling rage feeling fury feeling helpless

rage feeling fury feeling helpless

rage feeling fury feeling helpless feeling powerlessness

feeling powerlessness

feeling powerlessness feeling exhaustion feeling tired and

feeling exhaustion feeling tired and

feeling exhaustion feeling tired and also feeling gaslighted one participant

also feeling gaslighted one participant

also feeling gaslighted one participant named Pauline mayor’s described her

named Pauline mayor’s described her

named Pauline mayor’s described her experience as below she said that it is

experience as below she said that it is

experience as below she said that it is feeling like a stranger in a familiar

feeling like a stranger in a familiar

feeling like a stranger in a familiar land with no support and no anchor and

land with no support and no anchor and

land with no support and no anchor and when I read when I read those words I

when I read when I read those words I

when I read when I read those words I got goose bumps because when I was

got goose bumps because when I was

got goose bumps because when I was reflecting on my experience and

reflecting on my experience and

reflecting on my experience and experience of people of color it was the

experience of people of color it was the

experience of people of color it was the image and the word anchor that kept

image and the word anchor that kept

image and the word anchor that kept coming to mind and my definition was

coming to mind and my definition was

coming to mind and my definition was already centered around it so I would

already centered around it so I would

already centered around it so I would like to suggest that epistemic

like to suggest that epistemic

like to suggest that epistemic homelessness is the subjective

homelessness is the subjective

homelessness is the subjective experience of losing anchor in situation

experience of losing anchor in situation

experience of losing anchor in situation of epistemic injustice that it is a

of epistemic injustice that it is a

of epistemic injustice that it is a sense of being displaced from once truth

sense of being displaced from once truth

sense of being displaced from once truth base that it is if you like a mediating

base that it is if you like a mediating

base that it is if you like a mediating variable between epistemic confidence

variable between epistemic confidence

variable between epistemic confidence and ontological insecurity now well

and ontological insecurity now well

and ontological insecurity now well where do we go from here the research

where do we go from here the research

where do we go from here the research evidence and not just Twitter evidence

evidence and not just Twitter evidence

evidence and not just Twitter evidence suggests that covert racism is at least

suggests that covert racism is at least

suggests that covert racism is at least as distressing if not more than more

as distressing if not more than more

as distressing if not more than more overt classes of racism and so I would

overt classes of racism and so I would

overt classes of racism and so I would like to leave some strategies but women

like to leave some strategies but women

like to leave some strategies but women of color in particular and other

of color in particular and other

of color in particular and other marginalized people may want to attempt

marginalized people may want to attempt

marginalized people may want to attempt to support themselves with the

to support themselves with the

to support themselves with the experience of epistemic homelessness and

experience of epistemic homelessness and

experience of epistemic homelessness and the first one is trust your experience

the first one is trust your experience

the first one is trust your experience as marginalized people we are socialized

as marginalized people we are socialized

as marginalized people we are socialized to destroy

to destroy

to destroy be suspicious of a mind of our buddies

be suspicious of a mind of our buddies

be suspicious of a mind of our buddies of a competence of our capacity to know

of a competence of our capacity to know

of a competence of our capacity to know all of which can undermine our stomach

all of which can undermine our stomach

all of which can undermine our stomach confidence and make it easier for us to

confidence and make it easier for us to

confidence and make it easier for us to experience epistemic homelessness so

experience epistemic homelessness so

experience epistemic homelessness so what I always say is that trusting our

what I always say is that trusting our

what I always say is that trusting our lived experience is a vital act of

lived experience is a vital act of

lived experience is a vital act of resistance so get to know your truth

resistance so get to know your truth

resistance so get to know your truth signals trust them because the chances

signals trust them because the chances

signals trust them because the chances are they will point you in the right

are they will point you in the right

are they will point you in the right direction the direction of home the

direction the direction of home the

direction the direction of home the second strategy when your reality is

second strategy when your reality is

second strategy when your reality is being denied and you are facing at

being denied and you are facing at

being denied and you are facing at historic injustice take a

historic injustice take a

historic injustice take a socio-political view of the situation

socio-political view of the situation

socio-political view of the situation and ask yourself not only what is

and ask yourself not only what is

and ask yourself not only what is happening in the here and now but also

happening in the here and now but also

happening in the here and now but also what is being reproduced

what is being reproduced

what is being reproduced socio-politically think about who is

socio-politically think about who is

socio-politically think about who is deemed to be the knower in the situation

deemed to be the knower in the situation

deemed to be the knower in the situation think about where power lies and

think about where power lies and

think about where power lies and remember that the ultimate power is the

remember that the ultimate power is the

remember that the ultimate power is the power to define and we have that power

power to define and we have that power

power to define and we have that power so let’s define the world and let’s

so let’s define the world and let’s

so let’s define the world and let’s define our experience number three you

define our experience number three you

define our experience number three you do not need to make your lived

do not need to make your lived

do not need to make your lived experience and your lived reality

experience and your lived reality

experience and your lived reality subject to approval subject to agreement

subject to approval subject to agreement

subject to approval subject to agreement subject to debate so this is something

subject to debate so this is something

subject to debate so this is something that all of us perhaps need to learn an

that all of us perhaps need to learn an

that all of us perhaps need to learn an impact because making our experience and

impact because making our experience and

impact because making our experience and our reality subject to debate and

our reality subject to debate and

our reality subject to debate and putting it on a table means that we are

putting it on a table means that we are

putting it on a table means that we are opening ourselves to the possibility of

opening ourselves to the possibility of

opening ourselves to the possibility of our life and what we feel and what we

our life and what we feel and what we

our life and what we feel and what we experience being subject to disagreement

experience being subject to disagreement

experience being subject to disagreement and I don’t think we need to compromise

and I don’t think we need to compromise

and I don’t think we need to compromise on what it is that we are experiencing

on what it is that we are experiencing

on what it is that we are experiencing finally if you do lose your

finally if you do lose your

finally if you do lose your and perhaps you are heading towards

and perhaps you are heading towards

and perhaps you are heading towards ontological insecurity or perhaps you

ontological insecurity or perhaps you

ontological insecurity or perhaps you already there please seek support seek

already there please seek support seek

already there please seek support seek refuge from people who will not only in

refuge from people who will not only in

refuge from people who will not only in your home and provide refuge but help

your home and provide refuge but help

your home and provide refuge but help you find your way back there thank you