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Embracing the Struggle Creates Everlasting Strength | RJ Messenger | TEDxErie


all right before we get started I want

all right before we get started I want to try something with with you guys real

to try something with with you guys real

to try something with with you guys real quick if you can everyone stand up I’m

quick if you can everyone stand up I’m

quick if you can everyone stand up I’m gonna ask you one simple question but

gonna ask you one simple question but

gonna ask you one simple question but first I want you to think about your

first I want you to think about your

first I want you to think about your lives currently whether it be your your

lives currently whether it be your your

lives currently whether it be your your careers your jobs your relationships and

careers your jobs your relationships and

careers your jobs your relationships and friendships your family anything and

friendships your family anything and

friendships your family anything and mainly I want you to think about your

mainly I want you to think about your

mainly I want you to think about your happiness and success or lack of due to

happiness and success or lack of due to

happiness and success or lack of due to those various aspects in your life so if

those various aspects in your life so if

those various aspects in your life so if you have a barrier of any kind that is

you have a barrier of any kind that is

you have a barrier of any kind that is holding you back or preventing you from

holding you back or preventing you from

holding you back or preventing you from where you want to be in life sit down

Congrats to everyone still standing that

Congrats to everyone still standing that means you have successfully figured out

means you have successfully figured out

means you have successfully figured out how to overcome your barriers or your

how to overcome your barriers or your

how to overcome your barriers or your lying I’m not gonna point fingers and to

lying I’m not gonna point fingers and to

lying I’m not gonna point fingers and to those who sat down this talk is for you

those who sat down this talk is for you

those who sat down this talk is for you if you’re still standing guard please be

if you’re still standing guard please be

if you’re still standing guard please be seated I’m going to prove to my own

seated I’m going to prove to my own

seated I’m going to prove to my own personal experiences that there’s no

personal experiences that there’s no

personal experiences that there’s no reason to let these barriers determine

reason to let these barriers determine

reason to let these barriers determine your happiness and success there’s no

your happiness and success there’s no

your happiness and success there’s no better time than now to break through

better time than now to break through

better time than now to break through them this isn’t going to be a TED talk

them this isn’t going to be a TED talk

them this isn’t going to be a TED talk with big words or have scientific

with big words or have scientific

with big words or have scientific research to back what I’m saying this

research to back what I’m saying this

research to back what I’m saying this talk comes straight from deep within my

talk comes straight from deep within my

talk comes straight from deep within my heart and soul and from my own personal

heart and soul and from my own personal

heart and soul and from my own personal trials and triumphs this talk is for the

trials and triumphs this talk is for the

trials and triumphs this talk is for the dreamers for the ones who not only need

dreamers for the ones who not only need

dreamers for the ones who not only need to hear it but to see it with their own

to hear it but to see it with their own

to hear it but to see it with their own two eyes to believe that yes anything is

two eyes to believe that yes anything is

two eyes to believe that yes anything is possible that yes if you go to sleep

possible that yes if you go to sleep

possible that yes if you go to sleep late if you wake up early if you eat

late if you wake up early if you eat

late if you wake up early if you eat your bowl of Wheaties for breakfast and

your bowl of Wheaties for breakfast and

your bowl of Wheaties for breakfast and you work hard every single day you too

you work hard every single day you too

you work hard every single day you too can achieve your goals and dreams and

can achieve your goals and dreams and

can achieve your goals and dreams and maybe just maybe this will be the push

maybe just maybe this will be the push

maybe just maybe this will be the push that makes you move my name is r.j.

that makes you move my name is r.j.

that makes you move my name is r.j. messenger I’m 29 years old and I was

messenger I’m 29 years old and I was

messenger I’m 29 years old and I was born and raised right here in Erie PA

born and raised right here in Erie PA

born and raised right here in Erie PA I’m the co-owner of a well known

I’m the co-owner of a well known

I’m the co-owner of a well known business here in the area that was

business here in the area that was

business here in the area that was started a little under three years ago

started a little under three years ago

started a little under three years ago called iron Empire clothing it’s a

called iron Empire clothing it’s a

called iron Empire clothing it’s a clothing brand that my wife at the time

clothing brand that my wife at the time

clothing brand that my wife at the time when I started right out of our house

when I started right out of our house

when I started right out of our house while we both worked good secure

while we both worked good secure

while we both worked good secure full-time jobs in less than a year and a

full-time jobs in less than a year and a

full-time jobs in less than a year and a half we were both fortunate enough to

half we were both fortunate enough to

half we were both fortunate enough to give up our careers to take it on

give up our careers to take it on

give up our careers to take it on full-time due to how quick and large we

full-time due to how quick and large we

full-time due to how quick and large we are growing but unfortunately this

are growing but unfortunately this

are growing but unfortunately this hasn’t always been in my life and well I

hasn’t always been in my life and well I

hasn’t always been in my life and well I haven’t always looked this good

haven’t always looked this good

haven’t always looked this good I grew up like any regular kid I had

I grew up like any regular kid I had

I grew up like any regular kid I had normal friends I was raised in a good

normal friends I was raised in a good

normal friends I was raised in a good neighborhood and with the Sacred Heart

neighborhood and with the Sacred Heart

neighborhood and with the Sacred Heart for grace alone was a typical Catholic

for grace alone was a typical Catholic

for grace alone was a typical Catholic school boy I even attended and graduated

school boy I even attended and graduated

school boy I even attended and graduated from Marcia’s Prep high school believe

from Marcia’s Prep high school believe

from Marcia’s Prep high school believe it or not that’s where things took a

it or not that’s where things took a

it or not that’s where things took a turn after being so normal and so

turn after being so normal and so

turn after being so normal and so average my entire life I realized that

average my entire life I realized that

average my entire life I realized that being average just wasn’t for me

being average just wasn’t for me

being average just wasn’t for me and if it was up to me that wouldn’t be

and if it was up to me that wouldn’t be

and if it was up to me that wouldn’t be the life that I would live the next few

the life that I would live the next few

the life that I would live the next few years I can easily say were some of the

years I can easily say were some of the

years I can easily say were some of the best of my life but at the same time I

best of my life but at the same time I

best of my life but at the same time I made some unfortunate choices over this

made some unfortunate choices over this

made some unfortunate choices over this timeframe that ultimately create

timeframe that ultimately create

timeframe that ultimately create barriers and my life to come one of

barriers and my life to come one of

barriers and my life to come one of those barriers being my tattoos I saw at

those barriers being my tattoos I saw at

those barriers being my tattoos I saw at the young age of 16 with my very first

the young age of 16 with my very first

the young age of 16 with my very first tattoo being my chest piece the more I

tattoo being my chest piece the more I

tattoo being my chest piece the more I got and the more I realized people

got and the more I realized people

got and the more I realized people treating me differently and looked at me

treating me differently and looked at me

treating me differently and looked at me differently the more I wanted to get is

differently the more I wanted to get is

differently the more I wanted to get is my way of standing out from the norm and

my way of standing out from the norm and

my way of standing out from the norm and living life different from the norm of

living life different from the norm of

living life different from the norm of how everyone else lived their lives

how everyone else lived their lives

how everyone else lived their lives there’s almost a sense of therapy for me

there’s almost a sense of therapy for me

there’s almost a sense of therapy for me a lot of my tattoos have personal means

a lot of my tattoos have personal means

a lot of my tattoos have personal means behind them but time I graduated high

behind them but time I graduated high

behind them but time I graduated high school I probably already had more

school I probably already had more

school I probably already had more tattoos than everyone on my school put

tattoos than everyone on my school put

tattoos than everyone on my school put together so that once I was legal and

together so that once I was legal and

together so that once I was legal and able you can say things got a little out

able you can say things got a little out

able you can say things got a little out of hand

of hand

of hand I now have tattoos over probably 80% of

I now have tattoos over probably 80% of

I now have tattoos over probably 80% of my body including my entire face and

my body including my entire face and

my body including my entire face and head at the time in my mind I thought I

head at the time in my mind I thought I

head at the time in my mind I thought I was probably being some sort of rebel

was probably being some sort of rebel

was probably being some sort of rebel and I knew they might cause some issues

and I knew they might cause some issues

and I knew they might cause some issues down the road but I told myself I would

down the road but I told myself I would

down the road but I told myself I would deal with that when the time came and to

deal with that when the time came and to

deal with that when the time came and to further separate myself from society for

further separate myself from society for

further separate myself from society for the first 25 years of my life I live an

the first 25 years of my life I live an

the first 25 years of my life I live an alternative lifestyle that people refer

alternative lifestyle that people refer

alternative lifestyle that people refer to as being straightedge by choice I

to as being straightedge by choice I

to as being straightedge by choice I refrained from any and all drugs tobacco

refrained from any and all drugs tobacco

refrained from any and all drugs tobacco and alcohol yes you heard that right I

and alcohol yes you heard that right I

and alcohol yes you heard that right I went through my entire high school

went through my entire high school

went through my entire high school career living a 100% completely sober

career living a 100% completely sober

career living a 100% completely sober lifestyle and yes that also means I felt

lifestyle and yes that also means I felt

lifestyle and yes that also means I felt every bit of pain and agony that came

every bit of pain and agony that came

every bit of pain and agony that came with my tattoos

so between the ages of 19 and 21 a lot

so between the ages of 19 and 21 a lot of additional life change situations

of additional life change situations

of additional life change situations happen I got some trouble with the law

happen I got some trouble with the law

happen I got some trouble with the law on two separate occasions both earning

on two separate occasions both earning

on two separate occasions both earning myself criminal records and felonies and

myself criminal records and felonies and

myself criminal records and felonies and not only one but two different countries

not only one but two different countries

not only one but two different countries but that’s another story for another

but that’s another story for another

but that’s another story for another time I do want to add in that before my

time I do want to add in that before my

time I do want to add in that before my second running with the law I was

second running with the law I was

second running with the law I was fortunate at the time to of laying a

fortunate at the time to of laying a

fortunate at the time to of laying a part-time job of looking the way I did

part-time job of looking the way I did

part-time job of looking the way I did with a criminal record with a city of

with a criminal record with a city of

with a criminal record with a city of your garbage Department alongside my

your garbage Department alongside my

your garbage Department alongside my father the good ol American Dream sorry

father the good ol American Dream sorry

father the good ol American Dream sorry dad

dad

dad and I’m even more fortunate enough that

and I’m even more fortunate enough that

and I’m even more fortunate enough that my boss see there must have seen my work

my boss see there must have seen my work

my boss see there must have seen my work ethic and drive or he just felt bad for

ethic and drive or he just felt bad for

ethic and drive or he just felt bad for me because he continued let me continue

me because he continued let me continue

me because he continued let me continue working with the city even after my

working with the city even after my

working with the city even after my second run-in with the law

second run-in with the law

second run-in with the law at this point in my life I realized that

at this point in my life I realized that

at this point in my life I realized that maybe I wasn’t meant to be different by

maybe I wasn’t meant to be different by

maybe I wasn’t meant to be different by having a ton of tattoos by having a

having a ton of tattoos by having a

having a ton of tattoos by having a criminal record and living some kind of

criminal record and living some kind of

criminal record and living some kind of outlaw lifestyle but maybe I was meant

outlaw lifestyle but maybe I was meant

outlaw lifestyle but maybe I was meant to be different by taking all my

to be different by taking all my

to be different by taking all my unfortunate circumstances and the

unfortunate circumstances and the

unfortunate circumstances and the choices I’ve made over the years and use

choices I’ve made over the years and use

choices I’ve made over the years and use them to my advantage

and I would attempt to break the

and I would attempt to break the stereotype that you can’t live a happy

stereotype that you can’t live a happy

stereotype that you can’t live a happy successful life after everything I’ve

successful life after everything I’ve

successful life after everything I’ve done and been through and I’ll also use

done and been through and I’ll also use

done and been through and I’ll also use my so called barriers as my building

my so called barriers as my building

my so called barriers as my building blocks to achieve things I never dreamed

blocks to achieve things I never dreamed

blocks to achieve things I never dreamed of having before so the next few years I

of having before so the next few years I

of having before so the next few years I took all my misfortune all of my

took all my misfortune all of my

took all my misfortune all of my misguided pain and anger all the events

misguided pain and anger all the events

misguided pain and anger all the events that have led up to that point in time

that have led up to that point in time

that have led up to that point in time along with my unique style and look and

along with my unique style and look and

along with my unique style and look and I use it to prove the underdogs and

I use it to prove the underdogs and

I use it to prove the underdogs and outcasts truly do have a place in this

outcasts truly do have a place in this

outcasts truly do have a place in this world it’s just we might have to work a

world it’s just we might have to work a

world it’s just we might have to work a little harder and a little longer to

little harder and a little longer to

little harder and a little longer to earn it so from 2007 to 2011 I worked my

earn it so from 2007 to 2011 I worked my

earn it so from 2007 to 2011 I worked my butt off every night behind the back of

butt off every night behind the back of

butt off every night behind the back of a garbage truck I’m talking throwing

a garbage truck I’m talking throwing

a garbage truck I’m talking throwing twenty thousand-plus pounds of garbage

twenty thousand-plus pounds of garbage

twenty thousand-plus pounds of garbage every night and any imagine whether you

every night and any imagine whether you

every night and any imagine whether you can think of after about three years I

can think of after about three years I

can think of after about three years I finally got the call that would change

finally got the call that would change

finally got the call that would change my life forever

my life forever

my life forever or so I thought I was offered a

or so I thought I was offered a

or so I thought I was offered a full-time position with the city of Erie

full-time position with the city of Erie

full-time position with the city of Erie 40 plus hours a week 23 dollars an hour

40 plus hours a week 23 dollars an hour

40 plus hours a week 23 dollars an hour at full rate pension

at full rate pension

at full rate pension benefits health insurance all of it a

benefits health insurance all of it a

benefits health insurance all of it a secured union job the real American

secured union job the real American

secured union job the real American dream right well I didn’t want to stop

dream right well I didn’t want to stop

dream right well I didn’t want to stop there I told myself if I’m able to

there I told myself if I’m able to

there I told myself if I’m able to secure a job that most people without

secure a job that most people without

secure a job that most people without face tattoos in the criminal record

face tattoos in the criminal record

face tattoos in the criminal record would kill for what else can I do so in

would kill for what else can I do so in

would kill for what else can I do so in 2009 my unique look and style landed me

2009 my unique look and style landed me

2009 my unique look and style landed me some pre amazing experiences the more

some pre amazing experiences the more

some pre amazing experiences the more notable ones are having a role in

notable ones are having a role in

notable ones are having a role in jay-z’s music video for his hit single

jay-z’s music video for his hit single

jay-z’s music video for his hit single run this town featuring Rihanna and

run this town featuring Rihanna and

run this town featuring Rihanna and Kanye West as well as a rolling

Kanye West as well as a rolling

Kanye West as well as a rolling Lionsgate films feature film warrior

Lionsgate films feature film warrior

Lionsgate films feature film warrior starring Tom Hardy Joel Edgerton and

starring Tom Hardy Joel Edgerton and

starring Tom Hardy Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte I was actually hired to be an

Nick Nolte I was actually hired to be an

Nick Nolte I was actually hired to be an extra hidden in the background of some

extra hidden in the background of some

extra hidden in the background of some Jim scenes and it was only supposed to

Jim scenes and it was only supposed to

Jim scenes and it was only supposed to be a two-day shoot and within the first

be a two-day shoot and within the first

be a two-day shoot and within the first hour me being on set I was approached

hour me being on set I was approached

hour me being on set I was approached and asked if I would be able to stay in

and asked if I would be able to stay in

and asked if I would be able to stay in Pittsburgh for the next month and a half

Pittsburgh for the next month and a half

Pittsburgh for the next month and a half were filming as a featured extra playing

were filming as a featured extra playing

were filming as a featured extra playing along one of the main characters

along one of the main characters

along one of the main characters entourage my unique looking personality

entourage my unique looking personality

entourage my unique looking personality took me even one step further and I was

took me even one step further and I was

took me even one step further and I was given the opportunity to be involved and

given the opportunity to be involved and

given the opportunity to be involved and Lionsgate films marketing director Tim

Lionsgate films marketing director Tim

Lionsgate films marketing director Tim pounds photography book title men of

pounds photography book title men of

pounds photography book title men of Warrior I was spotted on set during

Warrior I was spotted on set during

Warrior I was spotted on set during filming by the production executive the

filming by the production executive the

filming by the production executive the movie if she suggested to Tim that I’d

movie if she suggested to Tim that I’d

movie if she suggested to Tim that I’d be involved in the book alongside the

be involved in the book alongside the

be involved in the book alongside the main characters in the movie tom hardy

main characters in the movie tom hardy

main characters in the movie tom hardy joel edgerton UFC fighter nate Marquart

joel edgerton UFC fighter nate Marquart

joel edgerton UFC fighter nate Marquart and erik apple mini warrior is a

and erik apple mini warrior is a

and erik apple mini warrior is a nationally published photography book

nationally published photography book

nationally published photography book and includes 128 pages of photos with

and includes 128 pages of photos with

and includes 128 pages of photos with each of us having our own section

each of us having our own section

each of us having our own section and due to my involvement with the movie

and due to my involvement with the movie

and due to my involvement with the movie in the book has actually given the

in the book has actually given the

in the book has actually given the opportunity to fly out to Hollywood in

opportunity to fly out to Hollywood in

opportunity to fly out to Hollywood in September of 2011 to take part in a

September of 2011 to take part in a

September of 2011 to take part in a red-carpet premiere so let’s fast

red-carpet premiere so let’s fast

red-carpet premiere so let’s fast forward a little 2015 well both my wife

forward a little 2015 well both my wife

forward a little 2015 well both my wife at the time and I were working full time

at the time and I were working full time

at the time and I were working full time jobs we had this crazy idea of starting

jobs we had this crazy idea of starting

jobs we had this crazy idea of starting a hobby and well I’ve always wanted a

a hobby and well I’ve always wanted a

a hobby and well I’ve always wanted a clothing line on my own so he came up

clothing line on my own so he came up

clothing line on my own so he came up with his name iron Empire and the

with his name iron Empire and the

with his name iron Empire and the meaning behind the name is that we were

meaning behind the name is that we were

meaning behind the name is that we were all trying to build the biggest

all trying to build the biggest

all trying to build the biggest strongest empire that we can with the

strongest empire that we can with the

strongest empire that we can with the tools and this thing that we call life

tools and this thing that we call life

tools and this thing that we call life and we do this by using our platform now

and we do this by using our platform now

and we do this by using our platform now to spread motivation inspiration and

to spread motivation inspiration and

to spread motivation inspiration and positivity throughout the unique

positivity throughout the unique

positivity throughout the unique messages and design

messages and design

messages and design on our clothing as well as our community

on our clothing as well as our community

on our clothing as well as our community engagement and charitable contributions

engagement and charitable contributions

engagement and charitable contributions throughout this city so we took the name

throughout this city so we took the name

throughout this city so we took the name our brands mission statement made some

our brands mission statement made some

our brands mission statement made some social media accounts and began selling

social media accounts and began selling

social media accounts and began selling online

online

online we took $300 of our hard-earned money

we took $300 of our hard-earned money

we took $300 of our hard-earned money and made as much inventory as we could

and made as much inventory as we could

and made as much inventory as we could with it then the first two weeks were

with it then the first two weeks were

with it then the first two weeks were sold out we turn all the sales in the

sold out we turn all the sales in the

sold out we turn all the sales in the profit from that and printed more as a

profit from that and printed more as a

profit from that and printed more as a few months of selling online or right

few months of selling online or right

few months of selling online or right out of our house we knew we were on to

out of our house we knew we were on to

out of our house we knew we were on to something

something

something by the end of the first year we were

by the end of the first year we were

by the end of the first year we were already in our first brick-and-mortar

already in our first brick-and-mortar

already in our first brick-and-mortar while still working full-time jobs the

while still working full-time jobs the

while still working full-time jobs the business was growing at such a rapid

business was growing at such a rapid

business was growing at such a rapid pace that we couldn’t keep up with it

pace that we couldn’t keep up with it

pace that we couldn’t keep up with it trying to balance our full-time jobs our

trying to balance our full-time jobs our

trying to balance our full-time jobs our personal lives and now this growing

personal lives and now this growing

personal lives and now this growing business so in April of 2016 I did the

business so in April of 2016 I did the

business so in April of 2016 I did the unimaginable I pulled my pension from

unimaginable I pulled my pension from

unimaginable I pulled my pension from the city

the city

the city I gave up my years of hard work I gave

I gave up my years of hard work I gave

I gave up my years of hard work I gave up my health insurance my benefits my

up my health insurance my benefits my

up my health insurance my benefits my secured paycheck every two weeks all of

secured paycheck every two weeks all of

secured paycheck every two weeks all of it to pursue the dream of

it to pursue the dream of

it to pursue the dream of entrepreneurship at the time I would say

entrepreneurship at the time I would say

entrepreneurship at the time I would say 99% of my friends my family and my

99% of my friends my family and my

99% of my friends my family and my co-workers thought it was crazy

co-workers thought it was crazy

co-workers thought it was crazy so my reply to them you’re just

so my reply to them you’re just

so my reply to them you’re just realizing that now now after almost

realizing that now now after almost

realizing that now now after almost three years we have since moved into a

three years we have since moved into a

three years we have since moved into a bigger better location and we now offer

bigger better location and we now offer

bigger better location and we now offer custom screen printing and design

custom screen printing and design

custom screen printing and design in-house and in our very first full

in-house and in our very first full

in-house and in our very first full calendar years year of sales in 2016 we

calendar years year of sales in 2016 we

calendar years year of sales in 2016 we grossed over $250,000 I now want to ask

grossed over $250,000 I now want to ask

grossed over $250,000 I now want to ask my friends my family and my ex coworkers

my friends my family and my ex coworkers

my friends my family and my ex coworkers do you still think I’m crazy so here we

do you still think I’m crazy so here we

do you still think I’m crazy so here we are now it’s my turn to use my

are now it’s my turn to use my

are now it’s my turn to use my scientific evidence to back the moral of

scientific evidence to back the moral of

scientific evidence to back the moral of the story it’s not an easy road to

the story it’s not an easy road to

the story it’s not an easy road to travel and it never will be but I

travel and it never will be but I

travel and it never will be but I promise you that’s worth every bit of

promise you that’s worth every bit of

promise you that’s worth every bit of struggle every bit of pain and every bit

struggle every bit of pain and every bit

struggle every bit of pain and every bit of emotion that you go through

of emotion that you go through

of emotion that you go through everything you want is on the other side

everything you want is on the other side

everything you want is on the other side of fear so don’t run away from your

of fear so don’t run away from your

of fear so don’t run away from your fears don’t run away from your obstacles

fears don’t run away from your obstacles

fears don’t run away from your obstacles and don’t run away from your pain

and don’t run away from your pain

and don’t run away from your pain embrace them embrace them with every

embrace them embrace them with every

embrace them embrace them with every fiber of your being

fiber of your being

fiber of your being because by taking those unfortunate

because by taking those unfortunate

because by taking those unfortunate circumstances and your life and using

circumstances and your life and using

circumstances and your life and using them as fuel to the fire the catapult

them as fuel to the fire the catapult

them as fuel to the fire the catapult your life into something more beautiful

your life into something more beautiful

your life into something more beautiful meaningful than you ever dreamed of

meaningful than you ever dreamed of

meaningful than you ever dreamed of having before will be what drives your

having before will be what drives your

having before will be what drives your life to the next level and if any of you

life to the next level and if any of you

life to the next level and if any of you have any doubt in your mind that you

have any doubt in your mind that you

have any doubt in your mind that you don’t have what it takes to win that

don’t have what it takes to win that

don’t have what it takes to win that fight every single person in this room

fight every single person in this room

fight every single person in this room has already won the greatest fight of

has already won the greatest fight of

has already won the greatest fight of their lifetime we all won the fight for

their lifetime we all won the fight for

their lifetime we all won the fight for survival to merely be born and you’re

survival to merely be born and you’re

survival to merely be born and you’re going to sit there and tell me that

going to sit there and tell me that

going to sit there and tell me that you’re ok with going through life the

you’re ok with going through life the

you’re ok with going through life the easy way to just get by not me I didn’t

easy way to just get by not me I didn’t

easy way to just get by not me I didn’t win that battle to be here to be born a

win that battle to be here to be born a

win that battle to be here to be born a normal healthy baby and to go through

normal healthy baby and to go through

normal healthy baby and to go through what I did as a child and young adult to

what I did as a child and young adult to

what I did as a child and young adult to just sit here and follow the so-called

just sit here and follow the so-called

just sit here and follow the so-called American dream just because that’s what

American dream just because that’s what

American dream just because that’s what we’re supposed to do but that’s my dream

we’re supposed to do but that’s my dream

we’re supposed to do but that’s my dream and this is my life from my own personal

and this is my life from my own personal

and this is my life from my own personal experience and experiences of others

experience and experiences of others

experience and experiences of others I’ve met over the years in similar

I’ve met over the years in similar

I’ve met over the years in similar situations as myself I found the common

situations as myself I found the common

situations as myself I found the common denominator of finding happiness and

denominator of finding happiness and

denominator of finding happiness and success its first believing in yourself

success its first believing in yourself

success its first believing in yourself before all else because then no barriers

before all else because then no barriers

before all else because then no barriers or obstacles will ever hold you back and

or obstacles will ever hold you back and

or obstacles will ever hold you back and you will live your life without

you will live your life without

you will live your life without restrictions or limitations if you don’t

restrictions or limitations if you don’t

restrictions or limitations if you don’t believe in yourself

believe in yourself

believe in yourself if you don’t feel confident how do you

if you don’t feel confident how do you

if you don’t feel confident how do you expect anyone else to have confidence in

expect anyone else to have confidence in

expect anyone else to have confidence in you and believe in you I have social

you and believe in you I have social

you and believe in you I have social anxiety it’s sometimes it still gets the

anxiety it’s sometimes it still gets the

anxiety it’s sometimes it still gets the best of me is it because I’m still a

best of me is it because I’m still a

best of me is it because I’m still a little uncomfortable in my own skin

little uncomfortable in my own skin

little uncomfortable in my own skin maybe I’m not really sure but standing

maybe I’m not really sure but standing

maybe I’m not really sure but standing up here today I can bet you never guess

up here today I can bet you never guess

up here today I can bet you never guess that me RJ messenger a tattooed business

that me RJ messenger a tattooed business

that me RJ messenger a tattooed business owner and self-professed badass and now

owner and self-professed badass and now

owner and self-professed badass and now a TEDx Erie speaker lives with social

a TEDx Erie speaker lives with social

a TEDx Erie speaker lives with social anxiety day by day and all I know is

anxiety day by day and all I know is

anxiety day by day and all I know is that when you start believing in

that when you start believing in

that when you start believing in yourself and having that kind of

yourself and having that kind of

yourself and having that kind of confidence even when you’re a little

confidence even when you’re a little

confidence even when you’re a little uncomfortable in your own skin it’s

uncomfortable in your own skin it’s

uncomfortable in your own skin it’s contagious we all finally realize that

contagious we all finally realize that

contagious we all finally realize that bridges are more than just an outlet for

bridges are more than just an outlet for

bridges are more than just an outlet for us to get over our own beer or beers our

us to get over our own beer or beers our

us to get over our own beer or beers our own fears our own fears and obstacles

own fears our own fears and obstacles

own fears our own fears and obstacles and that it’s actually a connection to

and that it’s actually a connection to

and that it’s actually a connection to help bring us together in a world full

help bring us together in a world full

help bring us together in a world full of negativity hatred doubt and

of negativity hatred doubt and

of negativity hatred doubt and uncertainty that kind of energy will be

uncertainty that kind of energy will be

uncertainty that kind of energy will be contagious as well we’re all different

contagious as well we’re all different

contagious as well we’re all different some of us may have different

some of us may have different

some of us may have different definitions of success and happiness and

definitions of success and happiness and

definitions of success and happiness and some of us probably have different

some of us probably have different

some of us probably have different barriers or obstacles that limit us from

barriers or obstacles that limit us from

barriers or obstacles that limit us from living to our fullest potential but the

living to our fullest potential but the

living to our fullest potential but the one thing we all have in common is that

one thing we all have in common is that

one thing we all have in common is that we are all consciously pursuing a better

we are all consciously pursuing a better

we are all consciously pursuing a better happier life the pursuit of happiness

happier life the pursuit of happiness

happier life the pursuit of happiness and they say nothing in life worth

and they say nothing in life worth

and they say nothing in life worth having comes easy so we’re all going to

having comes easy so we’re all going to

having comes easy so we’re all going to face barriers and obstacles throughout

face barriers and obstacles throughout

face barriers and obstacles throughout our lives in one way or another

our lives in one way or another

our lives in one way or another but how we face these barriers is what’s

but how we face these barriers is what’s

but how we face these barriers is what’s going to separate us you know the people

going to separate us you know the people

going to separate us you know the people who live the life that they want without

who live the life that they want without

who live the life that they want without letting anyone or anything get in their

letting anyone or anything get in their

letting anyone or anything get in their way and then you have the people who

way and then you have the people who

way and then you have the people who will deal with the cards that they’ve

will deal with the cards that they’ve

will deal with the cards that they’ve been dealt and be perfectly fine and

been dealt and be perfectly fine and

been dealt and be perfectly fine and okay with it we all have a story to be

okay with it we all have a story to be

okay with it we all have a story to be told a story that the world deserves to

told a story that the world deserves to

told a story that the world deserves to hear but it’s up to each and every one

hear but it’s up to each and every one

hear but it’s up to each and every one of us to decide if we’re going to tell

of us to decide if we’re going to tell

of us to decide if we’re going to tell it ourselves or let someone else tell it

it ourselves or let someone else tell it

it ourselves or let someone else tell it for us and I know for a fact that I’m

for us and I know for a fact that I’m

for us and I know for a fact that I’m going to be the narrator my own story

going to be the narrator my own story

going to be the narrator my own story now the question remains as you walk out

now the question remains as you walk out

now the question remains as you walk out of these doors today ask yourselves

of these doors today ask yourselves

of these doors today ask yourselves who’s going to be the narrator of yours

who’s going to be the narrator of yours

who’s going to be the narrator of yours thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

”

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