Press "Enter" to skip to content

Eating Disorders | Ariel Tonkel | TEDxMaumeeValleyCountryDaySchool


what defines you each and every single

what defines you each and every single person in this room because this is

person in this room because this is

person in this room because this is their own individual identity now I want

their own individual identity now I want

their own individual identity now I want all of you to take a moment close your

all of you to take a moment close your

all of you to take a moment close your eyes and think be as honest and as

eyes and think be as honest and as

eyes and think be as honest and as candid with yourself as you possibly can

candid with yourself as you possibly can

candid with yourself as you possibly can and I will ask what defines your

and I will ask what defines your

and I will ask what defines your identity how much control do you have

identity how much control do you have

identity how much control do you have over your identity we all have a vision

over your identity we all have a vision

over your identity we all have a vision for ourselves who do you want to be

for ourselves who do you want to be

for ourselves who do you want to be are you living as your best self if not

are you living as your best self if not

are you living as your best self if not how will you get there you may open your

how will you get there you may open your

how will you get there you may open your eyes now I want you to keep those

eyes now I want you to keep those

eyes now I want you to keep those thoughts running through your mind

thoughts running through your mind

thoughts running through your mind throughout the rest of my talk now I’m

throughout the rest of my talk now I’m

throughout the rest of my talk now I’m going to tell you about a few people I

going to tell you about a few people I

going to tell you about a few people I know so I want you guys to all think of

know so I want you guys to all think of

know so I want you guys to all think of the one person we know who is constantly

the one person we know who is constantly

the one person we know who is constantly overachieving the person who does

overachieving the person who does

overachieving the person who does everything and manages to do it all with

everything and manages to do it all with

everything and manages to do it all with seamless perfection now I knew a person

seamless perfection now I knew a person

seamless perfection now I knew a person like this too let’s call her Alex and

like this too let’s call her Alex and

like this too let’s call her Alex and Alex’s life was pretty normal until her

Alex’s life was pretty normal until her

Alex’s life was pretty normal until her freshman year of high school an early

freshman year of high school an early

freshman year of high school an early fall after several misdiagnosis she was

fall after several misdiagnosis she was

fall after several misdiagnosis she was diagnosed with a chronic genetic

diagnosed with a chronic genetic

diagnosed with a chronic genetic disorder called cystic fibrosis CF

disorder called cystic fibrosis CF

disorder called cystic fibrosis CF disables the body’s ability to transfer

disables the body’s ability to transfer

disables the body’s ability to transfer chloride in and out of cells

chloride in and out of cells

chloride in and out of cells this results in excessive amounts of

this results in excessive amounts of

this results in excessive amounts of concentrated mucus in several

concentrated mucus in several

concentrated mucus in several passageways in the body we’re talking

passageways in the body we’re talking

passageways in the body we’re talking about lethal complications in both the

about lethal complications in both the

about lethal complications in both the respiratory system and the digestive

respiratory system and the digestive

respiratory system and the digestive tract now since cystic fibrosis is a

tract now since cystic fibrosis is a

tract now since cystic fibrosis is a hereditary disorder it points to the

hereditary disorder it points to the

hereditary disorder it points to the generalization of diagnosis at or soon

generalization of diagnosis at or soon

generalization of diagnosis at or soon after birth

after birth

after birth however for Alex this was not the case

however for Alex this was not the case

however for Alex this was not the case she after 14 years of living a

she after 14 years of living a

she after 14 years of living a completely asymptomatic life her life

completely asymptomatic life her life

completely asymptomatic life her life did a 180 now I want you to go back to

did a 180 now I want you to go back to

did a 180 now I want you to go back to that overachiever from before think

that overachiever from before think

that overachiever from before think about them and how they would feel per

about them and how they would feel per

about them and how they would feel per se losing a loved one the feelings of

se losing a loved one the feelings of

se losing a loved one the feelings of sorrow and despair they would endure now

sorrow and despair they would endure now

sorrow and despair they would endure now in the similar way Alex had lost her

in the similar way Alex had lost her

in the similar way Alex had lost her health the body that was merely a

health the body that was merely a

health the body that was merely a vehicle to achievement and success was

vehicle to achievement and success was

vehicle to achievement and success was now her biggest enemy this body now

now her biggest enemy this body now

now her biggest enemy this body now placed her in hospitals nearly every

placed her in hospitals nearly every

placed her in hospitals nearly every other month not to mention the time

other month not to mention the time

other month not to mention the time draining treatment

draining treatment

draining treatment sorry to keep her lungs functioning

sorry to keep her lungs functioning

sorry to keep her lungs functioning these treatments often took up to three

these treatments often took up to three

these treatments often took up to three hours a day and consisted of inhaled

hours a day and consisted of inhaled

hours a day and consisted of inhaled medications oral medications and

medications oral medications and

medications oral medications and percussion treatments but even all of

percussion treatments but even all of

percussion treatments but even all of this was not enough to stop the

this was not enough to stop the

this was not enough to stop the deterioration of her lungs and an

deterioration of her lungs and an

deterioration of her lungs and an extremely low point

extremely low point

extremely low point her lungs were lunching functioning at a

her lungs were lunching functioning at a

her lungs were lunching functioning at a mere 50 percent now imagine the tight

mere 50 percent now imagine the tight

mere 50 percent now imagine the tight sense of restriction down your throat

sense of restriction down your throat

sense of restriction down your throat and a sense of panic when feeling like

and a sense of panic when feeling like

and a sense of panic when feeling like only one of your lungs is working

only one of your lungs is working

only one of your lungs is working needless to say this adversity had taken

needless to say this adversity had taken

needless to say this adversity had taken a toll on Alex’s mental well-being

a toll on Alex’s mental well-being

a toll on Alex’s mental well-being having been very close to her I watched

having been very close to her I watched

having been very close to her I watched her progress through every stage of

her progress through every stage of

her progress through every stage of grief overwhelming hopelessness and

grief overwhelming hopelessness and

grief overwhelming hopelessness and anger were consuming her and she would

anger were consuming her and she would

anger were consuming her and she would often ask things like what’s the point

often ask things like what’s the point

often ask things like what’s the point of living if my life will be cut short

of living if my life will be cut short

of living if my life will be cut short anyway well the ultimate question here

anyway well the ultimate question here

anyway well the ultimate question here is how do we face a confusion of

is how do we face a confusion of

is how do we face a confusion of identity when tragedies interfere with

identity when tragedies interfere with

identity when tragedies interfere with our goals and so I used to tell Alex

our goals and so I used to tell Alex

our goals and so I used to tell Alex that to overcome one’s breath you must

that to overcome one’s breath you must

that to overcome one’s breath you must learn to accept that it is yours

learn to accept that it is yours

learn to accept that it is yours identity is a very complex notion there

identity is a very complex notion there

identity is a very complex notion there are so many obstacles and platforms that

are so many obstacles and platforms that

are so many obstacles and platforms that at times that can feel nearly impossible

at times that can feel nearly impossible

at times that can feel nearly impossible to define it let alone understand it and

to define it let alone understand it and

to define it let alone understand it and for Alex here this is a major issue she

for Alex here this is a major issue she

for Alex here this is a major issue she often felt like people only saw her for

often felt like people only saw her for

often felt like people only saw her for her illness as the person who was always

her illness as the person who was always

her illness as the person who was always sick or never in school but ultimately

sick or never in school but ultimately

sick or never in school but ultimately she had a choice she could give in to

she had a choice she could give in to

she had a choice she could give in to this overbearing illness and let it

this overbearing illness and let it

this overbearing illness and let it literally take over her or she could

literally take over her or she could

literally take over her or she could choose to actively go on with life

choose to actively go on with life

choose to actively go on with life take the obstacles for what they were

take the obstacles for what they were

take the obstacles for what they were and define herself for her own identity

and define herself for her own identity

and define herself for her own identity so from the beginning of my friend’s

so from the beginning of my friend’s

so from the beginning of my friend’s freshman year until now she’s endured

freshman year until now she’s endured

freshman year until now she’s endured quite the transformation but not in a

quite the transformation but not in a

quite the transformation but not in a negative way so maybe she’s not just the

negative way so maybe she’s not just the

negative way so maybe she’s not just the perfect overachiever she was before but

perfect overachiever she was before but

perfect overachiever she was before but she has used these experiences to build

she has used these experiences to build

she has used these experiences to build a fire and her that is very unique to

a fire and her that is very unique to

a fire and her that is very unique to others now with tragedy comes pain grief

others now with tragedy comes pain grief

others now with tragedy comes pain grief and sometimes a lifelong continuing

and sometimes a lifelong continuing

and sometimes a lifelong continuing struggle but she’s over the years she

struggle but she’s over the years she

struggle but she’s over the years she learned to persevere through these and

learned to persevere through these and

learned to persevere through these and ultimately define herself for her real

ultimately define herself for her real

ultimately define herself for her real worth now

now another person I knew let’s call him

now another person I knew let’s call him John and John faced unthinkable

John and John faced unthinkable

John and John faced unthinkable adversity in his high-school years as

adversity in his high-school years as

adversity in his high-school years as well

well

well he and dirt a long and continuing battle

he and dirt a long and continuing battle

he and dirt a long and continuing battle with an eating disorder

with an eating disorder

with an eating disorder more specifically anorexia nervosa for

more specifically anorexia nervosa for

more specifically anorexia nervosa for those of you who don’t know anorexia is

those of you who don’t know anorexia is

those of you who don’t know anorexia is a psychological disorder in which

a psychological disorder in which

a psychological disorder in which someone has an irrational fear of

someone has an irrational fear of

someone has an irrational fear of gaining weight they often go to extremes

gaining weight they often go to extremes

gaining weight they often go to extremes of dieting and exercise to avoid it in

of dieting and exercise to avoid it in

of dieting and exercise to avoid it in fact according to the National

fact according to the National

fact according to the National Association of anorexia nervosa and

Association of anorexia nervosa and

Association of anorexia nervosa and associated disorders at least thirty

associated disorders at least thirty

associated disorders at least thirty million people of all ages and genders

million people of all ages and genders

million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder every

suffer from an eating disorder every

suffer from an eating disorder every year in the US alone eating disorders at

year in the US alone eating disorders at

year in the US alone eating disorders at the highest mortality rate of any mental

the highest mortality rate of any mental

the highest mortality rate of any mental illness in fact every 62 minutes one

illness in fact every 62 minutes one

illness in fact every 62 minutes one person dies as a direct result from an

person dies as a direct result from an

person dies as a direct result from an eating disorder now my friends John

eating disorder now my friends John

eating disorder now my friends John struggle just started with the slow

struggle just started with the slow

struggle just started with the slow descent into a deep depression

descent into a deep depression

descent into a deep depression he was constantly feeling sad exhausted

he was constantly feeling sad exhausted

he was constantly feeling sad exhausted and overwhelmed his life felt very out

and overwhelmed his life felt very out

and overwhelmed his life felt very out of control as he had described it to me

of control as he had described it to me

of control as he had described it to me and so all he had was these constant

and so all he had was these constant

and so all he had was these constant replaying thoughts of self-hatred but

replaying thoughts of self-hatred but

replaying thoughts of self-hatred but these all had a focal point the body in

these all had a focal point the body in

these all had a focal point the body in its appearance and so John felt so

its appearance and so John felt so

its appearance and so John felt so strongly about this that it began to

strongly about this that it began to

strongly about this that it began to diet in order to lose weight now of

diet in order to lose weight now of

diet in order to lose weight now of course in the beginning it was nothing

course in the beginning it was nothing

course in the beginning it was nothing extreme and everything was innocent but

extreme and everything was innocent but

extreme and everything was innocent but as time progressed things took a turn

as time progressed things took a turn

as time progressed things took a turn for the worst

for the worst

for the worst eating healthy had turned into barely

eating healthy had turned into barely

eating healthy had turned into barely eating at all every time I was with him

eating at all every time I was with him

eating at all every time I was with him he would avoid food at all costs and

he would avoid food at all costs and

he would avoid food at all costs and pretty soon he was disappearing not just

pretty soon he was disappearing not just

pretty soon he was disappearing not just physically but mentally and socially

physically but mentally and socially

physically but mentally and socially within only a month and a half he’d lost

within only a month and a half he’d lost

within only a month and a half he’d lost nearly 30% of his body weight and his

nearly 30% of his body weight and his

nearly 30% of his body weight and his organs began to shut down in late winter

organs began to shut down in late winter

organs began to shut down in late winter he was admitted into the hospital with

he was admitted into the hospital with

he was admitted into the hospital with an extremely low heart rate a failing

an extremely low heart rate a failing

an extremely low heart rate a failing liver in what seemed to be a negative

liver in what seemed to be a negative

liver in what seemed to be a negative space of a body and within the hospital

space of a body and within the hospital

space of a body and within the hospital he would stay there for two more weeks

he would stay there for two more weeks

he would stay there for two more weeks and then be transferred directly into a

and then be transferred directly into a

and then be transferred directly into a residential eating disorder treatment

residential eating disorder treatment

residential eating disorder treatment center in this treatment center he would

center in this treatment center he would

center in this treatment center he would be faced with his biggest fears which

be faced with his biggest fears which

be faced with his biggest fears which would that matter was not just food I

would that matter was not just food I

would that matter was not just food I believe there’s ultimately

believe there’s ultimately

believe there’s ultimately a misconception that eating disorders

a misconception that eating disorders

a misconception that eating disorders are strictly about food and frankly it’s

are strictly about food and frankly it’s

are strictly about food and frankly it’s the opposite

the opposite

the opposite eating disorders result in abnormal

eating disorders result in abnormal

eating disorders result in abnormal behavior on food as a result of trying

behavior on food as a result of trying

behavior on food as a result of trying to cope with underlying mental struggles

to cope with underlying mental struggles

to cope with underlying mental struggles in for John here these came out of

in for John here these came out of

in for John here these came out of feeling up out of control in his life

feeling up out of control in his life

feeling up out of control in his life and his obsessive or perfectionistic

and his obsessive or perfectionistic

and his obsessive or perfectionistic qualities and so I’ll just as Alex did

qualities and so I’ll just as Alex did

qualities and so I’ll just as Alex did John too struggled with identity there’s

John too struggled with identity there’s

John too struggled with identity there’s often so much focus on his appearance

often so much focus on his appearance

often so much focus on his appearance and the way it was changing over time

and the way it was changing over time

and the way it was changing over time that it felt like there was all there

that it felt like there was all there

that it felt like there was all there was to him so he ultimately had a choice

was to him so he ultimately had a choice

was to him so he ultimately had a choice to he could let his mental illness and

to he could let his mental illness and

to he could let his mental illness and his weight to find him or he can go on

his weight to find him or he can go on

his weight to find him or he can go on with life and work hard to overcome it

with life and work hard to overcome it

with life and work hard to overcome it John chose a path to recovery and a true

John chose a path to recovery and a true

John chose a path to recovery and a true sense of self any kind of recovery is

sense of self any kind of recovery is

sense of self any kind of recovery is never linear there are highs and lows

never linear there are highs and lows

never linear there are highs and lows and relapses but what really matters is

and relapses but what really matters is

and relapses but what really matters is one’s ability to build the strength to

one’s ability to build the strength to

one’s ability to build the strength to overcome those things and recognize

overcome those things and recognize

overcome those things and recognize himself for that now eating disorders

himself for that now eating disorders

himself for that now eating disorders often disguise themselves as a false

often disguise themselves as a false

often disguise themselves as a false sense of control John was able to gain

sense of control John was able to gain

sense of control John was able to gain back control they interact he had taken

back control they interact he had taken

back control they interact he had taken away from him and you too can gain back

away from him and you too can gain back

away from him and you too can gain back their control that ident

their control that ident

their control that ident um that adversity can take away from you

um that adversity can take away from you

um that adversity can take away from you and gain control over your identity and

and gain control over your identity and

and gain control over your identity and how others perceive it now in the

how others perceive it now in the

how others perceive it now in the beginning of the speech I asked you to

beginning of the speech I asked you to

beginning of the speech I asked you to honestly consider what defines you I

honestly consider what defines you I

honestly consider what defines you I stressed the importance of an honest and

stressed the importance of an honest and

stressed the importance of an honest and in candid assessment however I’ve been a

in candid assessment however I’ve been a

in candid assessment however I’ve been a hypocrite because I’ve not been honest

hypocrite because I’ve not been honest

hypocrite because I’ve not been honest with you Alex and John the two people I

with you Alex and John the two people I

with you Alex and John the two people I just described to you do not actually

just described to you do not actually

just described to you do not actually exist both of these people were me so

exist both of these people were me so

exist both of these people were me so right here Mike what’s my freshman year

right here Mike what’s my freshman year

right here Mike what’s my freshman year I spent most of my freshman year in the

I spent most of my freshman year in the

I spent most of my freshman year in the hospital through the diagnostic process

hospital through the diagnostic process

hospital through the diagnostic process and continuing into sophomore year which

and continuing into sophomore year which

and continuing into sophomore year which was also spent mostly in a hospital and

was also spent mostly in a hospital and

was also spent mostly in a hospital and at this point was a very low point in my

at this point was a very low point in my

at this point was a very low point in my eating disorder and within weeks I was

eating disorder and within weeks I was

eating disorder and within weeks I was hospitalized and here is me today so

hospitalized and here is me today so

hospitalized and here is me today so when talking about any kind of adverse

when talking about any kind of adverse

when talking about any kind of adverse I think it is extremely important to

I think it is extremely important to

I think it is extremely important to understand the concept of

understand the concept of

understand the concept of intersectionality intersectionality is

intersectionality intersectionality is

intersectionality intersectionality is defined as the intersections between

defined as the intersections between

defined as the intersections between different district disenfranchised

different district disenfranchised

different district disenfranchised groups in minorities more specifically

groups in minorities more specifically

groups in minorities more specifically the interactions between different

the interactions between different

the interactions between different systems of oppression and discrimination

systems of oppression and discrimination

systems of oppression and discrimination so in the same way that I’m not just a

so in the same way that I’m not just a

so in the same way that I’m not just a race or gender sexuality I’m not just my

race or gender sexuality I’m not just my

race or gender sexuality I’m not just my eating disorder or cystic fibrosis

eating disorder or cystic fibrosis

eating disorder or cystic fibrosis so yes the to do effect to me and are

so yes the to do effect to me and are

so yes the to do effect to me and are often together building even harder

often together building even harder

often together building even harder obstacle to face for example when my

obstacle to face for example when my

obstacle to face for example when my doctors tell me to exercise to clear my

doctors tell me to exercise to clear my

doctors tell me to exercise to clear my lungs it puts me at a great risk of an

lungs it puts me at a great risk of an

lungs it puts me at a great risk of an exercise addiction was a huge part of my

exercise addiction was a huge part of my

exercise addiction was a huge part of my eating disorder but the amazing thing is

eating disorder but the amazing thing is

eating disorder but the amazing thing is is these two things together have

is these two things together have

is these two things together have ultimately built a great motivation to

ultimately built a great motivation to

ultimately built a great motivation to keep myself healthy because when one

keep myself healthy because when one

keep myself healthy because when one illness Falls the other usually follows

illness Falls the other usually follows

illness Falls the other usually follows and so keeping myself in check is pretty

and so keeping myself in check is pretty

and so keeping myself in check is pretty much a necessity of course building a

much a necessity of course building a

much a necessity of course building a positive and honest identity does not

positive and honest identity does not

positive and honest identity does not happen overnight and when in the

happen overnight and when in the

happen overnight and when in the crucible of struggling with adversity it

crucible of struggling with adversity it

crucible of struggling with adversity it can feel like everything you’ve ever

can feel like everything you’ve ever

can feel like everything you’ve ever known about yourself or about the world

known about yourself or about the world

known about yourself or about the world around you has vanished and been taken

around you has vanished and been taken

around you has vanished and been taken over by an excessive amount of hardship

over by an excessive amount of hardship

over by an excessive amount of hardship but ultimately it is these hard

but ultimately it is these hard

but ultimately it is these hard experiences the ultimate that serve as

experiences the ultimate that serve as

experiences the ultimate that serve as the best catalyst for an authentic

the best catalyst for an authentic

the best catalyst for an authentic identity which each and every one of you

identity which each and every one of you

identity which each and every one of you possess now I want to ask you one last

possess now I want to ask you one last

possess now I want to ask you one last time what defines you who do you want to

time what defines you who do you want to

time what defines you who do you want to be how will you get there and I

be how will you get there and I

be how will you get there and I challenge each and every one of you to

challenge each and every one of you to

challenge each and every one of you to go home tonight and I want you to take

go home tonight and I want you to take

go home tonight and I want you to take one small step or even just plan

one small step or even just plan

one small step or even just plan something to take yourself one step

something to take yourself one step

something to take yourself one step closer to being the best self you can

closer to being the best self you can

closer to being the best self you can how will you define yourself thank you

”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *