this is why I decided to start
my subject tonight we agree
all here in the room we want to
take that baby in your arms 9 not that
falls well that’s what he wants
on the other side
this second picture shows us
clearly a hungry cat so these
two pictures have two points in common
the first is that both
protagonists does not have the language
that’s clear
and the second reason the second point
common is that these two protagonists
clearly we manifest some
something he longs for
so I have a question why from
when we acquire the language we
men women
we no longer dare to ask what we
wish
so tonight I want to tell you
ask is get
three weeks ago I was having dinner with my
knit friend she really explains to me
disappointed that she just received a
refusal letter for obtaining his
son in a private college
so obviously I ask him the question
and I say but you contacted them you
called to understand why your
son had not been accepted and to
measure 20 not achieved we have already been
refused we will not try to
understand to have denounced a little shame
still ok but why is he so
difficult to ask then I
thoughtful and I thought to myself that maybe
asked was to make an act of weakness
so for that we will take an example
imagine totally at random there is
a few years before the era of gps
you are driving sir you are
Saturday night sitting next to your wife
you drive you are completely
lost why do not you dare
not just open the window is
requested excuse me sir may
separates or right or left
and yes, yes, ask for directions
to act out of weakness because
somewhere we depend on each other
accept that we banon one is not
strong enough we do not know the answer
so we dare not ask maybe
also because we are afraid of
judgment of others
this is the case if there are among you
students who do not dare to ask
their teacher when we do not have
including non is thin
yeah but wait for all the others
will make fun of us and many
studies show that most of
best students what they say they have
brilliant schooling and well figure
you are the ones who have the most
asked then another reason that me
seemed to me in any case personal on
do not dare to ask because maybe
we do not want to know the answer
actually for example at the doctor
I go there often on my iphone I
note a list of questions that I have
want to ask my doctor
and then in fact I arrive and often low
I do not ask all the questions because
that somewhere I do not want to have
all the answers and the last
reason that seemed interesting to me
explain why we dare not ask
it’s mainly because we already imagine
the refusal of the other person
and yes it is the case when one hesitates and
that we often refuse to ask for a
increase to his boss damage in May
No, but I had good numbers
but good compared to my colleagues and
then if I ask for an increase by
report to the company in relation to
less simple one that I justify
no and then anyway right now
it’s clear he ‘ll say no but why
I want tonight to invite you to
dare to ask asked anything and anyone
what then there is a case there is a case
or in 88% of the answers room is
positive and in addition she is immediate
and more if we add 11%
do you figure sir that this answer
is positive it’s just
wanted to make you marinate a little
and yes it is the marriage proposal
in 99% of cases the marriage proposal
you will get a positive answer
and yet
well we do not dare and so that’s all
worse
in the case of a marriage proposal that
sometimes is good not to ask
his future fiancee a marriage and well
she will tell herself that you are afraid
of commitment and the blow end up breaking
damage anyway then the marriage
it’s a good example
because in reality is what there is a
another another opportunity to live all
his dreams in a day with his
loved ones and his family the marriage is
magic we can all realized
I still have a question so we’re going
make a small survey hundred ushers
because you are very numerous
evening just lifting the hand that has already
bored a wedding she be frank when
even and yeah I was afraid of this
reply
in fact it’s not at all that the future
married do not have a dream not at all
it’s only when we start
the adventured to arrange a wedding and
well actually the bride and groom you
receive tons of very offers
standardized not at all customize
but who are often rather
nice and suddenly they go on flying
finally it’s not bad what they are
propose the caterer the photographer
videographer and that’s extra then my
work today is to organize
a day of coaching for the future
married or in the morning I explain to them
exactly what are your dreams to you
two how do you imagine this day
magic and the afternoon and well
surprisingly I explain to them how
specifically asks to bring in
his dreams in his budget and that for
each provider
so enough talk about marriage anyway
because it’s not going to concern the whole
room the idea is to tell yourself is this
that we can not this sentence that we
seems so simple so obvious asked
it’s getting
can not we just then
that it is very powerful to use it in
other areas then this sentence
simple obvious but very powerful
Jeulin Karl in my professional life
you will understand but also in my
personal life and that’s a gift from
my mother on February 27, 2010 my mother
françoise I speak with so much
of emotions here at the opera of limoges
that she was born in limoges
February 27, 2010 my mother died
breast cancer
when she’s gone it’s not
just a mother that I lost is
all those dreams for years
during all my childhood I had been
nourished by his projects of his ideas of
vacation where she wanted to leave
I even had a list of activities
she was going to do with my children
while he was not even pregnant
and then she’s in it’s gone
February 27
that day it’s all those dreams that are
I realized that the
life was very very short and we
could leave without realizing our
dreams
so you remember all these
beliefs and all these fears me I them
had also
well they shattered everything in
shrapnel and you can ask my
husband and I am today the woman the
more demanding and the more that exists on
earth because I never hesitate to
request
you remember my knit friend who has
received precisely this letter of refusal and
down at dinner i will talk judic
where do you know what we’re going to do
write a little email and so we drafted
an email to the secretariat of the
private college and we explained it was
asked why Paul had not been
accepted and why how to do it for
that the next year maybe he a
school text
the next day she sent this email
and two hours after the secretary of the
college I called him and explain to him
that yes actually were on list
of wait that certainly will be there
possible answer
so I want tonight ladies and
gentlemen to give you this gift
that my mom passed on to me in spite of herself and
for that there is a very very method
simple to ask and get
easily and not just for christmas
or for your birthday
the method is there in two stages the
first step is not the simplest
it is necessary to think about what
actually wants
and believe me it’s really not a
simple step you have to think about it
so much that you visualize the
benefit from already having an answer
positive so first step think
what do I really want and the
2nd step 1 you have to take action
you have to dare to ask daring to ask with
kindness speak with his heart be
convinced and convincing and you go
see you will be surprised results
most of the time people have very
want to please you and you
help
so can we ask everything eh
well listen I was going to say yes we
can ask everything against attention
ask one thing at a time
do not go too fast too fast but
one thing at a time I will give you
a last example in 2012
I was 32 years old and I was looking for a cdi
I was the stereotype of the working girl
Parisian who were looking for a
frame where that’s a high frame position
responsibility
when I found myself in front of
future boss
binger not negotiate salary in
reality the only thing I wanted
it was schedules I wanted
start at 10am
able to bring my girls to school and
finish at 5 pm to be able to
also go get my daughters to
school
little surprise for a young working
Parisian girl well figure you that
I got it and that was my success
because I only wanted one thing
but I really wanted very hard then
ladies and gentlemen tonight at the opera
limoges
I want to tell you go and there
have the audacity to think about what you
wish and ask for it tomorrow
what does it mean
ask the massage a your spouse
ask tomorrow instead of a bib
shallots at the restaurant asked a
bib pepper sauce asked and asked
Monday to your colleague who help you
on a folder on which you were a
little hesitant asked is to get
and then at a request necessarily for
finish my speech
please when you go
ask do you put in connection on
social networks with me and do
me part of your beautiful Basque achievements
Nothing will make me happier than
precisely to know you desires and
especially your beautiful successes ask is
made get
thank you very much
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
”
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