if you had one huge secret who would you tell your mom your dad your brother your
tell your mom your dad your brother your
tell your mom your dad your brother your sister your best friend your boyfriend
sister your best friend your boyfriend
sister your best friend your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife what if
or girlfriend or husband or wife what if
or girlfriend or husband or wife what if that secret was something you weren’t
that secret was something you weren’t
that secret was something you weren’t really quite sure about or something you
really quite sure about or something you
really quite sure about or something you couldn’t really admit to yourself let
couldn’t really admit to yourself let
couldn’t really admit to yourself let alone any of these people it’s not the
alone any of these people it’s not the
alone any of these people it’s not the easiest question to answer when I found
easiest question to answer when I found
easiest question to answer when I found myself in this unclear situation I
myself in this unclear situation I
myself in this unclear situation I turned to the one place in a millennial
turned to the one place in a millennial
turned to the one place in a millennial I knew had all the answers the Internet
I knew had all the answers the Internet
I knew had all the answers the Internet growing up I felt just like any other
growing up I felt just like any other
growing up I felt just like any other kid I played sports I went to school and
kid I played sports I went to school and
kid I played sports I went to school and life was great but as I got older into
life was great but as I got older into
life was great but as I got older into middle school in high school things
middle school in high school things
middle school in high school things started to feel a bit different it was
started to feel a bit different it was
started to feel a bit different it was at that point in time for all my friends
at that point in time for all my friends
at that point in time for all my friends became boy-crazy right before my eyes
became boy-crazy right before my eyes
became boy-crazy right before my eyes believe me I tried way too hard to play
believe me I tried way too hard to play
believe me I tried way too hard to play along but it was terrible I was terrible
along but it was terrible I was terrible
along but it was terrible I was terrible and it just didn’t feel right
and it just didn’t feel right
and it just didn’t feel right by now I’m sure many of you can put the
by now I’m sure many of you can put the
by now I’m sure many of you can put the pieces together and figure out that I am
pieces together and figure out that I am
pieces together and figure out that I am Batman in the flesh if only telling you
Batman in the flesh if only telling you
Batman in the flesh if only telling you that I was gay got the same reaction
that I was gay got the same reaction
that I was gay got the same reaction that I wouldn’t have to be up here but
that I wouldn’t have to be up here but
that I wouldn’t have to be up here but yes I am gay and too many people that’s
yes I am gay and too many people that’s
yes I am gay and too many people that’s a big deal if you told 13-year old me
a big deal if you told 13-year old me
a big deal if you told 13-year old me that I was gay I would have absolutely
that I was gay I would have absolutely
that I was gay I would have absolutely denied it because there’s no way that I
denied it because there’s no way that I
denied it because there’s no way that I was gay not a chance
was gay not a chance
was gay not a chance even if after a few years went by and I
even if after a few years went by and I
even if after a few years went by and I still couldn’t find myself anywhere near
still couldn’t find myself anywhere near
still couldn’t find myself anywhere near attracted to a man I wouldn’t admit that
attracted to a man I wouldn’t admit that
attracted to a man I wouldn’t admit that I was gay I didn’t understand it I
I was gay I didn’t understand it I
I was gay I didn’t understand it I didn’t look like the lesbians we see on
didn’t look like the lesbians we see on
didn’t look like the lesbians we see on TV
TV
TV how could I be gay I just wanted to be
how could I be gay I just wanted to be
how could I be gay I just wanted to be like everybody else and for the longest
like everybody else and for the longest
like everybody else and for the longest time I thought it was a problem with me
time I thought it was a problem with me
time I thought it was a problem with me I wasn’t capable of love in my eyes
I wasn’t capable of love in my eyes
I wasn’t capable of love in my eyes because I couldn’t love a man like any
because I couldn’t love a man like any
because I couldn’t love a man like any of my friends did at this point I’m
of my friends did at this point I’m
of my friends did at this point I’m gonna delve into the world of the
gonna delve into the world of the
gonna delve into the world of the Internet and how I used to define myself
Internet and how I used to define myself
Internet and how I used to define myself and I’ll do my best to keep us all on
and I’ll do my best to keep us all on
and I’ll do my best to keep us all on the same page as we move forward I spent
the same page as we move forward I spent
the same page as we move forward I spent a lot of my free time as a young
a lot of my free time as a young
a lot of my free time as a young teenager watching YouTube videos of all
teenager watching YouTube videos of all
teenager watching YouTube videos of all sorts and I was always a huge fan of the
sorts and I was always a huge fan of the
sorts and I was always a huge fan of the youtuber Tyler Oakley not necessarily
youtuber Tyler Oakley not necessarily
youtuber Tyler Oakley not necessarily because he identifies as gay but I just
because he identifies as gay but I just
because he identifies as gay but I just thought he was hilarious so I was
thought he was hilarious so I was
thought he was hilarious so I was watching his draw my life video which
watching his draw my life video which
watching his draw my life video which for those of you that don’t know it’s a
for those of you that don’t know it’s a
for those of you that don’t know it’s a video and
video and
video and a person illustrates key points in their
a person illustrates key points in their
a person illustrates key points in their life on a physical whiteboard I thought
life on a physical whiteboard I thought
life on a physical whiteboard I thought this was a really cool concept so I
this was a really cool concept so I
this was a really cool concept so I watched a few others and for anyone
watched a few others and for anyone
watched a few others and for anyone that’s ever watched one or two YouTube
that’s ever watched one or two YouTube
that’s ever watched one or two YouTube videos you know it could often turn into
videos you know it could often turn into
videos you know it could often turn into five or ten or a couple hours worth of
five or ten or a couple hours worth of
five or ten or a couple hours worth of videos from the suggestion bar well one
videos from the suggestion bar well one
videos from the suggestion bar well one of these videos had a Q&A and the
of these videos had a Q&A and the
of these videos had a Q&A and the suggestion bar and I decided to watch it
suggestion bar and I decided to watch it
suggestion bar and I decided to watch it it was of these two girls Shannon and
it was of these two girls Shannon and
it was of these two girls Shannon and Cammie I found out in the video that
Cammie I found out in the video that
Cammie I found out in the video that they were actually a couple a lot of
they were actually a couple a lot of
they were actually a couple a lot of LGBTQ related questions came up and I
LGBTQ related questions came up and I
LGBTQ related questions came up and I started to realize that a lot of what
started to realize that a lot of what
started to realize that a lot of what they were saying I could relate to after
they were saying I could relate to after
they were saying I could relate to after this I was hooked and I watched almost
this I was hooked and I watched almost
this I was hooked and I watched almost every video up on their channels
every video up on their channels
every video up on their channels including both of their coming-out
including both of their coming-out
including both of their coming-out stories they both had completely
stories they both had completely
stories they both had completely different experiences but I can relate
different experiences but I can relate
different experiences but I can relate to them both so much
to them both so much
to them both so much Shannon lived in went to college in the
Shannon lived in went to college in the
Shannon lived in went to college in the south and struggled to come out to her
south and struggled to come out to her
south and struggled to come out to her sorority but she used YouTube and tumblr
sorority but she used YouTube and tumblr
sorority but she used YouTube and tumblr to bridge the gap and reach out to
to bridge the gap and reach out to
to bridge the gap and reach out to others for advice Cammie
others for advice Cammie
others for advice Cammie like me felt completely different
like me felt completely different
like me felt completely different growing up that hid behind boyfriends
growing up that hid behind boyfriends
growing up that hid behind boyfriends and other friends until she saw south of
and other friends until she saw south of
and other friends until she saw south of nowhere a TV series with a prominent
nowhere a TV series with a prominent
nowhere a TV series with a prominent lesbian couple that thankfully failed to
lesbian couple that thankfully failed to
lesbian couple that thankfully failed to fulfill the lesbian stereotypes we see
fulfill the lesbian stereotypes we see
fulfill the lesbian stereotypes we see all over the media today I didn’t know
all over the media today I didn’t know
all over the media today I didn’t know either of these people or any of their
either of these people or any of their
either of these people or any of their followers but I knew that we had all
followers but I knew that we had all
followers but I knew that we had all felt the same way at some point in our
felt the same way at some point in our
felt the same way at some point in our journey and now so many of them are out
journey and now so many of them are out
journey and now so many of them are out and happy and I wanted that to be me so
and happy and I wanted that to be me so
and happy and I wanted that to be me so once I internally accepted who I was I
once I internally accepted who I was I
once I internally accepted who I was I turned back to the media in the online
turned back to the media in the online
turned back to the media in the online community for information believe me I
community for information believe me I
community for information believe me I didn’t need to be gay to understand
didn’t need to be gay to understand
didn’t need to be gay to understand society’s views at the lgbtq+ community
society’s views at the lgbtq+ community
society’s views at the lgbtq+ community but I wanted to know what being out was
but I wanted to know what being out was
but I wanted to know what being out was really like and how others handled it I
really like and how others handled it I
really like and how others handled it I came out when I was 17 I was nowhere
came out when I was 17 I was nowhere
came out when I was 17 I was nowhere near ready to do it but I was feeling a
near ready to do it but I was feeling a
near ready to do it but I was feeling a lot of pressure from my friends you know
lot of pressure from my friends you know
lot of pressure from my friends you know they all had the inclination that I was
they all had the inclination that I was
they all had the inclination that I was gay and honestly some of them knew that
gay and honestly some of them knew that
gay and honestly some of them knew that I was gay before I did but they didn’t
I was gay before I did but they didn’t
I was gay before I did but they didn’t all understand why it was so hard for me
all understand why it was so hard for me
all understand why it was so hard for me to come out to my family or how my
to come out to my family or how my
to come out to my family or how my family didn’t already realize it when I
family didn’t already realize it when I
family didn’t already realize it when I came out to my mom I was sitting on the
came out to my mom I was sitting on the
came out to my mom I was sitting on the counter in my kitchen and I decided you
counter in my kitchen and I decided you
counter in my kitchen and I decided you know what I’m just gonna say it
know what I’m just gonna say it
know what I’m just gonna say it but I don’t think I’ve had a harder time
but I don’t think I’ve had a harder time
but I don’t think I’ve had a harder time getting five words out of my mouth
getting five words out of my mouth
getting five words out of my mouth mom I think I’m gay the response that I
mom I think I’m gay the response that I
mom I think I’m gay the response that I got was definitely not ideal and I was
got was definitely not ideal and I was
got was definitely not ideal and I was left questioning whether I made the
left questioning whether I made the
left questioning whether I made the right decision but having those people
right decision but having those people
right decision but having those people online that knew what I was going
online that knew what I was going
online that knew what I was going through and had been there themselves
through and had been there themselves
through and had been there themselves really helped me prove to myself that I
really helped me prove to myself that I
really helped me prove to myself that I did make the right choice and it was
did make the right choice and it was
did make the right choice and it was like a huge weight was lifted off my
like a huge weight was lifted off my
like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders I’m 19 now so I’ve been out
shoulders I’m 19 now so I’ve been out
shoulders I’m 19 now so I’ve been out for a little over two years and in those
for a little over two years and in those
for a little over two years and in those two years I’ve learned two things I will
two years I’ve learned two things I will
two years I’ve learned two things I will never actually be completely out and
never actually be completely out and
never actually be completely out and people will surprise you last year I
people will surprise you last year I
people will surprise you last year I went to college a couple hours away
went to college a couple hours away
went to college a couple hours away where no one really knew me guys would
where no one really knew me guys would
where no one really knew me guys would try to flirt with me and I had to come
try to flirt with me and I had to come
try to flirt with me and I had to come out took a lot of the people that I met
out took a lot of the people that I met
out took a lot of the people that I met it should be simple people ask all the
it should be simple people ask all the
it should be simple people ask all the time hey do you have a boyfriend no I
time hey do you have a boyfriend no I
time hey do you have a boyfriend no I know how hard is it to say no I have a
know how hard is it to say no I have a
know how hard is it to say no I have a girlfriend it sounds so simple but not
girlfriend it sounds so simple but not
girlfriend it sounds so simple but not once have I turned that question around
once have I turned that question around
once have I turned that question around because to me it’s like jumping off a
because to me it’s like jumping off a
because to me it’s like jumping off a cliff you have no control of what
cliff you have no control of what
cliff you have no control of what happens after you say it are they going
happens after you say it are they going
happens after you say it are they going to be cool with it
to be cool with it
to be cool with it are they gonna make this way more
are they gonna make this way more
are they gonna make this way more awkward than it has to be are they gonna
awkward than it has to be are they gonna
awkward than it has to be are they gonna say something rude who knows I could
say something rude who knows I could
say something rude who knows I could tell myself and all of you that the next
tell myself and all of you that the next
tell myself and all of you that the next time it happens I’ll turn this question
time it happens I’ll turn this question
time it happens I’ll turn this question around but jumping off a cliff isn’t as
around but jumping off a cliff isn’t as
around but jumping off a cliff isn’t as terrifying when you’re not standing at
terrifying when you’re not standing at
terrifying when you’re not standing at the edge similar to that at the
the edge similar to that at the
the edge similar to that at the beginning of this summer I met all the
beginning of this summer I met all the
beginning of this summer I met all the people that I’d be working through my
people that I’d be working through my
people that I’d be working through my internship with and again it happens all
internship with and again it happens all
internship with and again it happens all the time especially in this world of
the time especially in this world of
the time especially in this world of social media you meet new people you
social media you meet new people you
social media you meet new people you become friends you follow them on
become friends you follow them on
become friends you follow them on Instagram Twitter snapchat Facebook
Instagram Twitter snapchat Facebook
Instagram Twitter snapchat Facebook except my social media is full of
except my social media is full of
except my social media is full of pictures of me and my girlfriend so when
pictures of me and my girlfriend so when
pictures of me and my girlfriend so when do I tell you do I tell you before when
do I tell you do I tell you before when
do I tell you do I tell you before when we barely know each other do I wait and
we barely know each other do I wait and
we barely know each other do I wait and hope you can figure out on your own and
hope you can figure out on your own and
hope you can figure out on your own and know that I am in fact dating a woman at
know that I am in fact dating a woman at
know that I am in fact dating a woman at what point will I stop worrying if your
what point will I stop worrying if your
what point will I stop worrying if your opinions are going to impact our
opinions are going to impact our
opinions are going to impact our friendship I will probably never have
friendship I will probably never have
friendship I will probably never have the answer to any of these questions
the answer to any of these questions
the answer to any of these questions but as I said before people will
but as I said before people will
but as I said before people will surprise you I knew what to expect based
surprise you I knew what to expect based
surprise you I knew what to expect based off of what other people had posted
off of what other people had posted
off of what other people had posted online I knew that before I came out I
online I knew that before I came out I
online I knew that before I came out I could walk around in public and no one
could walk around in public and no one
could walk around in public and no one would think anything of it but walking
would think anything of it but walking
would think anything of it but walking around with my girlfriend leads to
around with my girlfriend leads to
around with my girlfriend leads to stares from every possible angle I knew
stares from every possible angle I knew
stares from every possible angle I knew that before I came out I could change in
that before I came out I could change in
that before I came out I could change in a locker room without somebody thinking
a locker room without somebody thinking
a locker room without somebody thinking I’m staring at them because it’s almost
I’m staring at them because it’s almost
I’m staring at them because it’s almost assumed that lesbians are madly in love
assumed that lesbians are madly in love
assumed that lesbians are madly in love with every woman that they come across
with every woman that they come across
with every woman that they come across right I didn’t think so either but
right I didn’t think so either but
right I didn’t think so either but nonetheless Awkward sisters races arise
nonetheless Awkward sisters races arise
nonetheless Awkward sisters races arise for us all but I had heard it all before
for us all but I had heard it all before
for us all but I had heard it all before the Internet is really just a series of
the Internet is really just a series of
the Internet is really just a series of connections and I think it’s interesting
connections and I think it’s interesting
connections and I think it’s interesting how these connections can provide
how these connections can provide
how these connections can provide something valuable to everyone many
something valuable to everyone many
something valuable to everyone many people think the younger generation is
people think the younger generation is
people think the younger generation is so indulged in their phones and social
so indulged in their phones and social
so indulged in their phones and social media and honestly some are but when
media and honestly some are but when
media and honestly some are but when it’s used in the right way it can bring
it’s used in the right way it can bring
it’s used in the right way it can bring people together I wouldn’t have been
people together I wouldn’t have been
people together I wouldn’t have been able to be myself if I hadn’t found
able to be myself if I hadn’t found
able to be myself if I hadn’t found others out there who felt like me and
others out there who felt like me and
others out there who felt like me and it’s simple enough for anyone to do we
it’s simple enough for anyone to do we
it’s simple enough for anyone to do we live in this world of snapchat filters
live in this world of snapchat filters
live in this world of snapchat filters hashtags public snapchat stories and
hashtags public snapchat stories and
hashtags public snapchat stories and live video posts on countless social
live video posts on countless social
live video posts on countless social network sites anyone can find a group of
network sites anyone can find a group of
network sites anyone can find a group of people that they relate to if they take
people that they relate to if they take
people that they relate to if they take the time to look fan accounts exist for
the time to look fan accounts exist for
the time to look fan accounts exist for almost anything these days and at the
almost anything these days and at the
almost anything these days and at the simple click of a follow button a whole
simple click of a follow button a whole
simple click of a follow button a whole new community can be at your fingertips
new community can be at your fingertips
new community can be at your fingertips I know it can be a bit different at
I know it can be a bit different at
I know it can be a bit different at first but I encourage everyone to try it
first but I encourage everyone to try it
first but I encourage everyone to try it we’ve even found an easier way of
we’ve even found an easier way of
we’ve even found an easier way of identifying people around you that enjoy
identifying people around you that enjoy
identifying people around you that enjoy going to similar things there are very
going to similar things there are very
going to similar things there are very few large public events that take place
few large public events that take place
few large public events that take place these days without a hashtag or a filter
these days without a hashtag or a filter
these days without a hashtag or a filter appearing on some type of social media
appearing on some type of social media
appearing on some type of social media and you can search these and find anyone
and you can search these and find anyone
and you can search these and find anyone around you hashtag black lives matter
around you hashtag black lives matter
around you hashtag black lives matter hashtag yes all women hashtag ALS
hashtag yes all women hashtag ALS
hashtag yes all women hashtag ALS icebucketchallenge hashtag love wins
icebucketchallenge hashtag love wins
icebucketchallenge hashtag love wins sound familiar all of these social
sound familiar all of these social
sound familiar all of these social movements skyrocketed
movements skyrocketed
movements skyrocketed when these hashtags came to be and it
when these hashtags came to be and it
when these hashtags came to be and it becomes millions of people coming
becomes millions of people coming
becomes millions of people coming together to share their stories spread
together to share their stories spread
together to share their stories spread information and form one community that
information and form one community that
information and form one community that will stand for what these relate to now
will stand for what these relate to now
will stand for what these relate to now that is something every
that is something every
that is something every should strive to be a part of when it
should strive to be a part of when it
should strive to be a part of when it comes down to it it’s really history in
comes down to it it’s really history in
comes down to it it’s really history in the making the other issue here really
the making the other issue here really
the making the other issue here really comes down to representation earlier I
comes down to representation earlier I
comes down to representation earlier I mentioned south of nowhere and that show
mentioned south of nowhere and that show
mentioned south of nowhere and that show was four years the only source of femme
was four years the only source of femme
was four years the only source of femme lesbians in the media for those of you
lesbians in the media for those of you
lesbians in the media for those of you that don’t know a femme is by definition
that don’t know a femme is by definition
that don’t know a femme is by definition a lesbian whose appearance and behaviors
a lesbian whose appearance and behaviors
a lesbian whose appearance and behaviors are traditionally feminine I got caught
are traditionally feminine I got caught
are traditionally feminine I got caught up in the trap of thinking lesbians had
up in the trap of thinking lesbians had
up in the trap of thinking lesbians had to look a certain way had to dressed
to look a certain way had to dressed
to look a certain way had to dressed more masculine had to have short hair
more masculine had to have short hair
more masculine had to have short hair because that’s how they were trait or
because that’s how they were trait or
because that’s how they were trait or trade in the media before me we’ve made
trade in the media before me we’ve made
trade in the media before me we’ve made progress but still almost every song TV
progress but still almost every song TV
progress but still almost every song TV show the music video is the ordinary
show the music video is the ordinary
show the music video is the ordinary middle-class straight couple and as a
middle-class straight couple and as a
middle-class straight couple and as a kid that grew up exposed to only these
kid that grew up exposed to only these
kid that grew up exposed to only these straight couples in the media I know
straight couples in the media I know
straight couples in the media I know that it paints such a clear picture in a
that it paints such a clear picture in a
that it paints such a clear picture in a kid’s head of what love has to be and
kid’s head of what love has to be and
kid’s head of what love has to be and trying to break that leaves you feeling
trying to break that leaves you feeling
trying to break that leaves you feeling so different or wrong the media is a
so different or wrong the media is a
so different or wrong the media is a huge part of everyone’s lives and it has
huge part of everyone’s lives and it has
huge part of everyone’s lives and it has the power to make a statement about
the power to make a statement about
the power to make a statement about anything people believe what they see on
anything people believe what they see on
anything people believe what they see on TV we look up to these athletes and
TV we look up to these athletes and
TV we look up to these athletes and actors and reporters that we see every
actors and reporters that we see every
actors and reporters that we see every day and I’m pretty sure we can all admit
day and I’m pretty sure we can all admit
day and I’m pretty sure we can all admit to getting a little bit too attached to
to getting a little bit too attached to
to getting a little bit too attached to our favorite TV character because we can
our favorite TV character because we can
our favorite TV character because we can relate or empathize or at least agree
relate or empathize or at least agree
relate or empathize or at least agree with the reason they were put on the
with the reason they were put on the
with the reason they were put on the show the more diversity there is in the
show the more diversity there is in the
show the more diversity there is in the media the more it can be used to educate
media the more it can be used to educate
media the more it can be used to educate people and prove to everyone that great
people and prove to everyone that great
people and prove to everyone that great people come in all shapes and sizes now
people come in all shapes and sizes now
people come in all shapes and sizes now granted the media is not the answer to
granted the media is not the answer to
granted the media is not the answer to all of our problems but when it is used
all of our problems but when it is used
all of our problems but when it is used in the right way it can mean the world
in the right way it can mean the world
in the right way it can mean the world to people everyone should be able to
to people everyone should be able to
to people everyone should be able to have that safe space where they can be
have that safe space where they can be
have that safe space where they can be themselves and don’t sell the internet
themselves and don’t sell the internet
themselves and don’t sell the internet short of being able to provide that
short of being able to provide that
short of being able to provide that space everyone should be able to find
space everyone should be able to find
space everyone should be able to find somebody out there that’s like them in
somebody out there that’s like them in
somebody out there that’s like them in this day and age no one should be afraid
this day and age no one should be afraid
this day and age no one should be afraid to be who they are and no one should
to be who they are and no one should
to be who they are and no one should feel like no one understands what
feel like no one understands what
feel like no one understands what they’re going through or how they feel
they’re going through or how they feel
they’re going through or how they feel because there are millions of people out
because there are millions of people out
because there are millions of people out there that are willing to help so I will
there that are willing to help so I will
there that are willing to help so I will conclude with this
conclude with this
conclude with this to anyone that has a platform speak your
to anyone that has a platform speak your
to anyone that has a platform speak your voice loud and clear for anyone that
voice loud and clear for anyone that
voice loud and clear for anyone that doesn’t necessarily have a voice to the
doesn’t necessarily have a voice to the
doesn’t necessarily have a voice to the parents and future parents of my
parents and future parents of my
parents and future parents of my generation teach your kids the
generation teach your kids the
generation teach your kids the importance of equality whether it be
importance of equality whether it be
importance of equality whether it be race gender religion or sexual
race gender religion or sexual
race gender religion or sexual orientation work together towards a
orientation work together towards a
orientation work together towards a future where everyone can be happy free
future where everyone can be happy free
future where everyone can be happy free and treated with equal respect I don’t
and treated with equal respect I don’t
and treated with equal respect I don’t want a future where being gay is a
want a future where being gay is a
want a future where being gay is a secret I want a future where it’s not a
secret I want a future where it’s not a
secret I want a future where it’s not a secret to be me thank you
”
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