[Music]
Today I want to talk about a pain but it is
a different pain is different because
it can not be relieved even
by the analgesics
I am referring to the pain caused by
injustice who suffered this pain knows that
it is capable of deeply shaking the
our emotional state even changes the
our heart rate impairs
even the quality of our sleep
it is not
we just have to watch the news
for us we realize that people
are increasingly suffering from
dealing with human conflicts
by the way people not only the
institutions are also suffering from
this is because they do not know
how to deal with so many and diverse
demands but if we lend
attention to court proceedings
we will see that deep down people
claim for the simple right to
to belong that is nothing more than the
right to be seen and respected by the
other
it is clear that in a court case they
express this with other words not
It is
but what matters is that in one way or another
on the other, injustice has by matter
the human conflict and what else
It’s worrisome to realize that we were not
and we are still not preparing to
deal with it not even to deal with
its consequences and much less
to prevent it is incredible to me
almost unbelievable is that we
we treat a problem that is ours as
if it was the other
that person who will solve it is
as if we were permanently
outsourcing this task
first when children may
for duty of obedience to delegate
our parents and then as adults in
we repeat this behavior
but then transferring that role is
a third person
the judge was thus sensitized by the pain
caused by injustice but also
worries about the way people and
institutions deal with a conflict
that I chose my mission
What I do well, I can explain.
so people tell me their
problems
I listen to the opposite part, I await
substantiate their claims and then
I point the solution that considers
of course, I do this on the basis of a
set of conduits which by convention
are considered correct as you
I realize I deal with a process
laws and laws
I’m a law judge but today I
I do not really like to talk
about the processes or the intense
that I do every day, not me
I would like to speak about the one who is
before me
the human being if we think that a
judicial process is important.
chapters in the history of life by
two people and if we realize
that they suffer the effects of that pain
about which I said at the beginning seems
reasonable to assume that they do not want
prolonging the process is neither
It’s always that way
people do not often look at me
and they say that I prefer a person
totally strange judge your case is
of course I admit and understand that
we were not educated to assume
this role not even to see the problem
under the angle of the other, where
scenario is quite different
we also do not realize
our problem no one will have a
better vision to identify the
possible paths and much less better
discernment to choose one of them and
I said
No one, not even a judge, but that’s me.
I confess I did not know from the beginning
when I started my career as a
Judge I thought it would be so much more
efficient the greater the number of
of sentences that I did then today
according to the script and did what I
most knew it was judge and judge
I really thought that when
signed a sentence was resolving
a real conflict and how they were
many conflicts in this line of
reasoning the logical consequence does not
could be another is not
I needed to increase my ability
production and when I saw it was
completely involved in this logic
perverse speed
I even got my car.
challenge to try to meet my
maximum production capacity
I wanted to know how many sentences I
I could do it by working bigger
number of hours and minutes of my day
Of course I did it for a limited time
but it was enough to realize that
definitely the way was not this
it is no news that the number
of processes that come to power
every day is immensely important.
greater than the number of those leaving
not all those who leave have their
problem effectively solved
there are cases where no set of
words written on a piece of paper would have
power
a sentence however good it may be
can often aggravate further
that relationship by
people
this is because as a dispute
the judgment gives one of the parties
the role of the winner and the other the
from loser
and we need to be aware of
that when we judge ourselves
we empower the victim’s feelings
and doing this does not always help
solve your problem
so much so that often even
after sentencing the case to
The victim continues to feel the pain
It’s throbbing in there and we need it.
once and for all to realize that
while the victim feels this pain she
you may be wasting what you
we have more precious than is the
time he knows how to be samu when
also well-known poison
and I say that because in the wrong dose the
time may jeopardize
significantly the healing of
our emotional wounds and all of us
we know they hurt a lot more than
any other
But although we have
we continue to do the same
we need once and for all
change the direction and precisely because of this
I would like to invite you then to
listen to my story about the moment
where something happened in my life that
made the way I changed
completely my direction
Remember when I first said that
I was trying to increase my
early career productivity
because that’s when I signed up for
graduate course in management and
there I learned many lessons that I
I apply even today
but I just did not imagine that the
of them would come on the last day
I was there in the printer to pick up the
my monograph
When I got the biggest fright
in that black cover with golden letters
where should it be
The Judge has registered the management and
procedure is not exactly what
it was written
the judge was writing the
our procedural affection this time
it was not the law or the books it was
life that was me
providing an insight into what
I really was lacking more affection
the change of these useful
letter e of effectiveness for the letter a
affectivity caused me to move
completely my attention to the
main place of affection where they occur
the greatest learning for our family
after all that is where we
we ministered the first and most
important lessons for our children
it is not
It’s there that as parents we are heroes
sometimes unintentionally and unknowingly
we can even be villains and she too
in our family we are know the
what judges
well the fact is that time passed then
I realized that I had two missions and
The coolest thing about it is that
they have a point in common between them
As a judge I still have many
processes to receive to resolve is
clear and many even about 8
thousand and as mother of four children
I have lost count of how many problems I
have to resolve and confront all
days but what we needed
to realize is that in this coincidence
in this similarity a giant learning
because I realized that I needed
be my best in both roles and
to be the best in both roles
I needed to reverse
completely logic and that’s what I
I did
I then resolved on a task so
difficult
I no longer as a judge try to be a
mother better but as mother try to be a
better judge
before I think that almost
intuitively interpreted at home the
role of judge and I imagine that you
must be thinking poor of these
children should not be easy to be child
judge is not the big chance that
you do the same
or I ask before a
any problem of a misunderstanding
at home or when the child does not
a determination of the parents what you
usually I imagine that
you rebuke your child or leave
even for some time without technology
and so it is
Are you doing what I do?
judging of course that we have to
establish the limits for good
formation of the value system of the
our children and that we can not
to give up but in doing so we do not
We can stop educating them for
exercise of autonomy, which is very
difficult because in this field of
autonomy there is a sacred space that is
the space of freedom
each individual to be the one who truly
is aware of his duties to his
anxieties and their desires
I have for myself that only our
small citizens have been able to discover
how to develop this amazing
ability to live together in
society
and I say it seems to me that it is precisely
that’s the problem because as
parents
we have been very judges
we need once and for all
let our children climb up
level in the real game of life itself and
they will only be able to do this
if we do not continue playing for
they got me he just says
have only been able to achieve
this high level of the game when
discover the true learning that
behind every conflict
now I understand why in an audience
people often look at me
how they looked at parents in childhood
seem not to have noticed the
potential that each one has inside
to help you find the best solution
to solve that your problem maybe
in a way that no sentence
could never even imagine
which had already been studies that show that
when a person participates in the
decisions are much greater the chances
that she meets the agreed
and this happens because when we
we participate
we are belonging when we
not oblige
and this is the result of the search
portrayed in the book the strategy of
good blue ocean but the fact is that after
to realize all this I went through
have a problem because to be consistent
with everything that was said here I
I would also need to change my
attitudes as a parent in relation to
small number of conflicts that
They happen on the same day in family
nor is it difficult to imagine why
disk reasons have four children in the course
of his adolescence is not who has
son knows more for those who do not have me
I say that they fight even for the
place to sit at the table
but then what I did before a
any conflict
I continue my urge to say what
I considered it right and I really
I admit that it is much easier and
fast right
but instead I encouraged the
children to analyze the problem and
different alternatives of
solution and I say more
these alternatives often do not
would not even be imagined by us
judges
whether as judge or as such
This reminds me of the repeated episode
of the fights that happened when
the kids in high school
what was meant to be a time of
meeting affectivity of joy is
transformed into a moment of stress
because they always fought for the right
to sit on the front seat
as none of the alternatives
solution that I proposed had given
sure even because it seemed to me
enough a simple relay I
challenge is to try to find a
alternative solution that they
did they analyzed all
variables, for example on which day of
week child not
would return home on account of the
extracurricular activities
they have created a criterion that
considered it fair sometimes when
I’ll get them to school in college.
I do not even know whose day it is.
sitting on that front seat but that
it does not matter anymore because they
know and respect
then as a mother and as a judge I
I could give you advice to your parents.
I’d say the next, love your kids.
hug your children and in this
environment of the purest
encourage them to put themselves in the
other
listening to the other analyzing the problem under
different perspectives and then
discuss the possibilities of
solution and I assure you that
even though they have never even read
an article of law
even if they do not even know how to read
they will already be able to
develop their own sense of
justice
This one for me is one of the biggest and most
important legacies that we can leave
the next generations and I conclude
that when I discovered that rather than
expectation of a decision
nothing for a third is the feeling of
have helped to carve out one’s own
solution as if we were
finding remedy that will heal or
relieve our pain
if this were a law it would be impossible
revoke it
the question that remains is must be law
we do not even need to be judges
thank you
[Applause]
”
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