do you believe in fate do you believe that things are meant to be that things
that things are meant to be that things
that things are meant to be that things that happen in life happen for a reason
that happen in life happen for a reason
that happen in life happen for a reason I have a different view on this I
I have a different view on this I
I have a different view on this I believe that most of what happens in our
believe that most of what happens in our
believe that most of what happens in our lives is a consequence of the choices
lives is a consequence of the choices
lives is a consequence of the choices that we make
that we make
that we make now some choices that we make are pretty
now some choices that we make are pretty
now some choices that we make are pretty basic and routine like when we give it
basic and routine like when we give it
basic and routine like when we give it up or what are we going to have for
up or what are we going to have for
up or what are we going to have for breakfast other choices that we make are
breakfast other choices that we make are
breakfast other choices that we make are much more profound like when we going to
much more profound like when we going to
much more profound like when we going to marry or where will we live and there
marry or where will we live and there
marry or where will we live and there are things that happen in our lives that
are things that happen in our lives that
are things that happen in our lives that we don’t choose to have happen I didn’t
we don’t choose to have happen I didn’t
we don’t choose to have happen I didn’t choose to suffer a catastrophic injury
choose to suffer a catastrophic injury
choose to suffer a catastrophic injury that day I don’t believe that you friend
that day I don’t believe that you friend
that day I don’t believe that you friend relative somebody you may know chose to
relative somebody you may know chose to
relative somebody you may know chose to be diagnosed with some terrible illness
be diagnosed with some terrible illness
be diagnosed with some terrible illness or disease we do exercise choice and how
or disease we do exercise choice and how
or disease we do exercise choice and how we respond to those involuntary events I
contend that I am by choice I contend
contend that I am by choice I contend that you are by choice back in 2007 I
that you are by choice back in 2007 I
that you are by choice back in 2007 I would describe myself as kind of a
would describe myself as kind of a
would describe myself as kind of a recreational enthusiasts I love the
recreational enthusiasts I love the
recreational enthusiasts I love the outdoors I love camping climbing
outdoors I love camping climbing
outdoors I love camping climbing backpacking hiking canoeing skiing Road
backpacking hiking canoeing skiing Road
backpacking hiking canoeing skiing Road Cycling I had a great passion for Road
Cycling I had a great passion for Road
Cycling I had a great passion for Road Cycling unfortunately in June of that
Cycling unfortunately in June of that
Cycling unfortunately in June of that year 2007 I was involved in a very bad
year 2007 I was involved in a very bad
year 2007 I was involved in a very bad Road Cycling accident that rendered me
Road Cycling accident that rendered me
Road Cycling accident that rendered me an incomplete quadriplegic what that
an incomplete quadriplegic what that
an incomplete quadriplegic what that means is that I have paralysis from my
means is that I have paralysis from my
means is that I have paralysis from my mid chest all the way down to my toes
mid chest all the way down to my toes
mid chest all the way down to my toes what it also means is that I have a very
what it also means is that I have a very
what it also means is that I have a very small window of potential to recover
small window of potential to recover
small window of potential to recover lost function
lost function
lost function now how much function that I’d lost that
now how much function that I’d lost that
now how much function that I’d lost that I might be able to regain was unknown
I might be able to regain was unknown
I might be able to regain was unknown you see in this world of incomplete
you see in this world of incomplete
you see in this world of incomplete quadriplegia the spectrum of recovery is
quadriplegia the spectrum of recovery is
quadriplegia the spectrum of recovery is very broad on one hand some people
very broad on one hand some people
very broad on one hand some people unfortunately are never able to get out
unfortunately are never able to get out
unfortunately are never able to get out of a wheelchair and on the other end of
of a wheelchair and on the other end of
of a wheelchair and on the other end of the spectrum you have some folks that
the spectrum you have some folks that
the spectrum you have some folks that are living completely capable
are living completely capable
are living completely capable independent lives and then you have the
independent lives and then you have the
independent lives and then you have the whole gamut in-between and I would ask
whole gamut in-between and I would ask
whole gamut in-between and I would ask my doctors all the time am I going to
my doctors all the time am I going to
my doctors all the time am I going to walk again will I exercise again will I
walk again will I exercise again will I
walk again will I exercise again will I drive again will I work again and I
drive again will I work again and I
drive again will I work again and I always received the same answer Jamie it
always received the same answer Jamie it
always received the same answer Jamie it depends on the neurological progression
depends on the neurological progression
depends on the neurological progression we’ve all been to the doctors with
we’ve all been to the doctors with
we’ve all been to the doctors with questions and sometimes we come away
questions and sometimes we come away
questions and sometimes we come away from those appointments with even more
from those appointments with even more
from those appointments with even more questions right on myself living in this
questions right on myself living in this
questions right on myself living in this cone of uncertainty not knowing what my
cone of uncertainty not knowing what my
cone of uncertainty not knowing what my future prognosis my future outcome my
future prognosis my future outcome my
future prognosis my future outcome my future capabilities might be and it was
future capabilities might be and it was
future capabilities might be and it was very frustrating not to know a few days
very frustrating not to know a few days
very frustrating not to know a few days after I had been admitted to the
after I had been admitted to the
after I had been admitted to the hospital I got through intensive care
hospital I got through intensive care
hospital I got through intensive care went through acute care and then I was
went through acute care and then I was
went through acute care and then I was admitted into the inpatient rehab
admitted into the inpatient rehab
admitted into the inpatient rehab department it was the fifth night that I
department it was the fifth night that I
department it was the fifth night that I was in the hospital and it was the
was in the hospital and it was the
was in the hospital and it was the longest night of my life
longest night of my life
longest night of my life I lay there in that hospital bed
I lay there in that hospital bed
I lay there in that hospital bed motionless despondent filled with this
motionless despondent filled with this
motionless despondent filled with this jumbled set of emotions I was sweating
jumbled set of emotions I was sweating
jumbled set of emotions I was sweating profusely
profusely
profusely I couldn’t stop perspiring the sheets
I couldn’t stop perspiring the sheets
I couldn’t stop perspiring the sheets underneath me were soaked and I was
underneath me were soaked and I was
underneath me were soaked and I was scared frightened like I’ve never been
scared frightened like I’ve never been
scared frightened like I’ve never been frightened in my life I was sad
frightened in my life I was sad
frightened in my life I was sad depressed angry livid
depressed angry livid
depressed angry livid how could this have happened to me I
how could this have happened to me I
how could this have happened to me I mean what did I do wrong and as I lay
mean what did I do wrong and as I lay
mean what did I do wrong and as I lay there you ever had that kind of visceral
there you ever had that kind of visceral
there you ever had that kind of visceral reaction in your gut and this emotion is
reaction in your gut and this emotion is
reaction in your gut and this emotion is just building and grinding and all of a
just building and grinding and all of a
just building and grinding and all of a sudden you just want to explode in agony
sudden you just want to explode in agony
sudden you just want to explode in agony you ever been on the place like that you
you ever been on the place like that you
you ever been on the place like that you ever been so down bummed out low
ever been so down bummed out low
ever been so down bummed out low depressed and the tears just start
depressed and the tears just start
depressed and the tears just start coming and you can’t stop that’s where I
coming and you can’t stop that’s where I
coming and you can’t stop that’s where I was that night my life I was a broken
was that night my life I was a broken
was that night my life I was a broken man my life shattered in an instant and
man my life shattered in an instant and
man my life shattered in an instant and I realized at that moment that my life
I realized at that moment that my life
I realized at that moment that my life had come to a fork in the road which way
had come to a fork in the road which way
had come to a fork in the road which way was I going to go was I going to succumb
was I going to go was I going to succumb
was I going to go was I going to succumb give in surrender let this injury win
give in surrender let this injury win
give in surrender let this injury win and defeat me it had been so easy
and defeat me it had been so easy
and defeat me it had been so easy because every cell in my body was
because every cell in my body was
because every cell in my body was screaming at the top of its lungs Jamie
screaming at the top of its lungs Jamie
screaming at the top of its lungs Jamie don’t the mountains too high the
don’t the mountains too high the
don’t the mountains too high the journeys too difficult the trails too
journeys too difficult the trails too
journeys too difficult the trails too risky or I could choose to fight the
risky or I could choose to fight the
risky or I could choose to fight the good fight give it everything I had what
good fight give it everything I had what
good fight give it everything I had what it takes for as long as it was going to
it takes for as long as it was going to
it takes for as long as it was going to take and I say lay there in that bed
take and I say lay there in that bed
take and I say lay there in that bed motionless and those sweat soaked sheets
motionless and those sweat soaked sheets
motionless and those sweat soaked sheets my mind drifted back to a conversation I
my mind drifted back to a conversation I
my mind drifted back to a conversation I had earlier with my physician and in the
had earlier with my physician and in the
had earlier with my physician and in the course of that conversation he said to
course of that conversation he said to
course of that conversation he said to me Jamie you need to choose get
me Jamie you need to choose get
me Jamie you need to choose get independent Jamie
independent Jamie
independent Jamie get independent and I reflected on that
get independent and I reflected on that
get independent and I reflected on that some more as I lay in those sweat soaked
some more as I lay in those sweat soaked
some more as I lay in those sweat soaked sheets and then the light bulb went off
sheets and then the light bulb went off
sheets and then the light bulb went off I got it
I got it
I got it there it was my vector my beacon my
there it was my vector my beacon my
there it was my vector my beacon my choice and I resolved that night to do
choice and I resolved that night to do
choice and I resolved that night to do everything in my power not to be enabled
everything in my power not to be enabled
everything in my power not to be enabled by anyone or anything I didn’t want
by anyone or anything I didn’t want
by anyone or anything I didn’t want somebody to have to dress me I didn’t
somebody to have to dress me I didn’t
somebody to have to dress me I didn’t want somebody to have to feed me I
want somebody to have to feed me I
want somebody to have to feed me I didn’t want somebody to have to take
didn’t want somebody to have to take
didn’t want somebody to have to take care of my personal hygiene I did not
care of my personal hygiene I did not
care of my personal hygiene I did not want to live my life in a wheelchair in
want to live my life in a wheelchair in
want to live my life in a wheelchair in short I defined my terms
short I defined my terms
short I defined my terms I resolved to take a stand I chose to
I resolved to take a stand I chose to
I resolved to take a stand I chose to win now when I say winning I don’t mean
win now when I say winning I don’t mean
win now when I say winning I don’t mean winning in the absolute sense of I’m
winning in the absolute sense of I’m
winning in the absolute sense of I’m going to score more points than you or
going to score more points than you or
going to score more points than you or I’m going to come in first and you’re
I’m going to come in first and you’re
I’m going to come in first and you’re not I’m talking about winning on my
not I’m talking about winning on my
not I’m talking about winning on my terms
terms
terms not on what population studies and
not on what population studies and
not on what population studies and medicine suggested was a likely recovery
medicine suggested was a likely recovery
medicine suggested was a likely recovery trajectory for incomplete quadriplegic
trajectory for incomplete quadriplegic
trajectory for incomplete quadriplegic s– because if that was the case I’d
s– because if that was the case I’d
s– because if that was the case I’d likely still be in a wheelchair today
and as I sat there i made that decision
and as I sat there i made that decision that choice to get independent it has
that choice to get independent it has
that choice to get independent it has guided every step of my recovery over
guided every step of my recovery over
guided every step of my recovery over the last ten years I chose
the last ten years I chose
the last ten years I chose how I was going to rebuild my life I
how I was going to rebuild my life I
how I was going to rebuild my life I chose how hard I was going to work I
chose how hard I was going to work I
chose how hard I was going to work I chose what goals I was going to set for
chose what goals I was going to set for
chose what goals I was going to set for myself and that night making that
myself and that night making that
myself and that night making that decision to get independent has been my
decision to get independent has been my
decision to get independent has been my guiding light and it has been
guiding light and it has been
guiding light and it has been monumentally
monumentally
monumentally difficult work I’m not going to
difficult work I’m not going to
difficult work I’m not going to whitewash it this is a cruel and
whitewash it this is a cruel and
whitewash it this is a cruel and relentless injury and as I fought the
relentless injury and as I fought the
relentless injury and as I fought the good fight I came to this point that I
good fight I came to this point that I
good fight I came to this point that I knew I was going to get better
there have been roadblocks along the way
there have been roadblocks along the way I have impediments I have issues I have
I have impediments I have issues I have
I have impediments I have issues I have residual deficits one of the more
residual deficits one of the more
residual deficits one of the more annoying things that I have to deal with
annoying things that I have to deal with
annoying things that I have to deal with is that I have a compromised bladder I’m
is that I have a compromised bladder I’m
is that I have a compromised bladder I’m incontinent when my bladder squawks I
incontinent when my bladder squawks I
incontinent when my bladder squawks I got to get from point A to point
got to get from point A to point
got to get from point A to point bathroom right away or I’m going to have
bathroom right away or I’m going to have
bathroom right away or I’m going to have an accident and even if I try to take
an accident and even if I try to take
an accident and even if I try to take all those precautions sometimes I still
all those precautions sometimes I still
all those precautions sometimes I still have accidents and if I’m driving around
have accidents and if I’m driving around
have accidents and if I’m driving around the Seattle area I know where every
the Seattle area I know where every
the Seattle area I know where every bathroom is Costco Starbucks and if I
bathroom is Costco Starbucks and if I
bathroom is Costco Starbucks and if I happen to be driving outside of the
happen to be driving outside of the
happen to be driving outside of the Western Washington area and my bladder
Western Washington area and my bladder
Western Washington area and my bladder comes calling it’s off to the side of
comes calling it’s off to the side of
comes calling it’s off to the side of the road pull over
the road pull over
the road pull over Bridey go goes out the window do the
Bridey go goes out the window do the
Bridey go goes out the window do the best I can to disguise myself and
best I can to disguise myself and
best I can to disguise myself and bladder wins and I have other residual
bladder wins and I have other residual
bladder wins and I have other residual deficits that I have to deal with other
deficits that I have to deal with other
deficits that I have to deal with other headwinds that I have to push through
headwinds that I have to push through
headwinds that I have to push through but I will not let these forces derail
but I will not let these forces derail
but I will not let these forces derail my choice to get independent I remember
my choice to get independent I remember
my choice to get independent I remember in the early days when I was in the
in the early days when I was in the
in the early days when I was in the hospital and I was just trying to bring
hospital and I was just trying to bring
hospital and I was just trying to bring my two fingers together my forefinger
my two fingers together my forefinger
my two fingers together my forefinger and my thumb and how painstakingly slow
and my thumb and how painstakingly slow
and my thumb and how painstakingly slow and difficult was to be able to do that
and difficult was to be able to do that
and difficult was to be able to do that and then I was able to and that little
and then I was able to and that little
and then I was able to and that little seemingly benign innocuous goal became a
seemingly benign innocuous goal became a
seemingly benign innocuous goal became a victory and then over the ensuing days
victory and then over the ensuing days
victory and then over the ensuing days weeks months and years it became this
weeks months and years it became this
weeks months and years it became this gradual cumulative progression of goals
gradual cumulative progression of goals
gradual cumulative progression of goals and victories and then the goals became
and victories and then the goals became
and victories and then the goals became more ambitious and then the goals became
more ambitious and then the goals became
more ambitious and then the goals became more audacious so much so culminating in
more audacious so much so culminating in
more audacious so much so culminating in something really cool that happened this
something really cool that happened this
something really cool that happened this past Christmas
past Christmas
past Christmas that I would like to share with you now
that I would like to share with you now
that I would like to share with you now greetings all here now on the seventh
greetings all here now on the seventh
greetings all here now on the seventh heaven lifts and we are on our way up to
heaven lifts and we are on our way up to
heaven lifts and we are on our way up to the top one a ridiculously perfect day
the top one a ridiculously perfect day
the top one a ridiculously perfect day after the most intense snowfall I think
after the most intense snowfall I think
after the most intense snowfall I think I’ve ever experienced
I’ve ever experienced
I’ve ever experienced yesterday I am on seventh heaven yeah
yesterday I am on seventh heaven yeah
yesterday I am on seventh heaven yeah baby yeah start making our way down here
baby yeah start making our way down here
baby yeah start making our way down here we go let’s go
we go let’s go
we go let’s go I had visualized this day for years I
I had visualized this day for years I
I had visualized this day for years I had choreographed this movie of what it
had choreographed this movie of what it
had choreographed this movie of what it would be like in my head and I had
would be like in my head and I had
would be like in my head and I had thought about it in its greatest detail
thought about it in its greatest detail
thought about it in its greatest detail what it would be like to be on skis how
what it would be like to be on skis how
what it would be like to be on skis how would I get in my ski gear how would I
would I get in my ski gear how would I
would I get in my ski gear how would I clip on skis what would it be like to be
clip on skis what would it be like to be
clip on skis what would it be like to be able to balance and turn and be able to
able to balance and turn and be able to
able to balance and turn and be able to stop how would I dose my medications
stop how would I dose my medications
stop how would I dose my medications correctly who would be with me what
correctly who would be with me what
correctly who would be with me what trails was I going to take what mountain
trails was I going to take what mountain
trails was I going to take what mountain was I going to be on all these things
was I going to be on all these things
was I going to be on all these things were choreographed and visualized in my
were choreographed and visualized in my
were choreographed and visualized in my mind in the greatest detail and the
mind in the greatest detail and the
mind in the greatest detail and the movie played out just as I had pictured
movie played out just as I had pictured
movie played out just as I had pictured it
yes it was emotional it was epic it was
yes it was emotional it was epic it was a day for the ages so what’s out there
a day for the ages so what’s out there
a day for the ages so what’s out there for you what’s aspirational in your life
for you what’s aspirational in your life
for you what’s aspirational in your life what’s something that you want to strive
what’s something that you want to strive
what’s something that you want to strive for something that you want to achieve
for something that you want to achieve
for something that you want to achieve and accomplish and my ask is that you
and accomplish and my ask is that you
and accomplish and my ask is that you consider doing this fill in this phrase
consider doing this fill in this phrase
consider doing this fill in this phrase I choose to what I choose to what fill
I choose to what I choose to what fill
I choose to what I choose to what fill in that blank in fact if you could take
in that blank in fact if you could take
in that blank in fact if you could take it a step further my ask is that you
it a step further my ask is that you
it a step further my ask is that you consider writing that down perhaps on
consider writing that down perhaps on
consider writing that down perhaps on the 3 by 5 card or someplace where you
the 3 by 5 card or someplace where you
the 3 by 5 card or someplace where you can see it that phrase I choose to and
can see it that phrase I choose to and
can see it that phrase I choose to and then begin that process of building that
then begin that process of building that
then begin that process of building that movie in your head of what achieving
movie in your head of what achieving
movie in your head of what achieving that looks like break it down into its
that looks like break it down into its
that looks like break it down into its finest detail and begin to put that
finest detail and begin to put that
finest detail and begin to put that together into a movie where you are the
together into a movie where you are the
together into a movie where you are the author and the editor the publisher the
author and the editor the publisher the
author and the editor the publisher the scriptwriter the actor producer and
scriptwriter the actor producer and
scriptwriter the actor producer and director of your movie and I submit to
director of your movie and I submit to
director of your movie and I submit to you that if you do this with unwavering
you that if you do this with unwavering
you that if you do this with unwavering resolve commitment and determination
resolve commitment and determination
resolve commitment and determination that what you may feel is too daunting
that what you may feel is too daunting
that what you may feel is too daunting too extreme too far out there maybe even
too extreme too far out there maybe even
too extreme too far out there maybe even seemingly impossible can actually happen
seemingly impossible can actually happen
seemingly impossible can actually happen I chose you can choose to by defining
I chose you can choose to by defining
I chose you can choose to by defining your terms
resolving to take a stand
resolving to take a stand choose to win choose to win thank
”
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