Break Away From Negative Thoughts & Experience Life | Kip Hollister | TEDxBeaconStreet

I have a question by a show of hands how

I have a question by a show of hands how many of you feel good about yourself I

many of you feel good about yourself I

many of you feel good about yourself I have asked this question in front of

have asked this question in front of

have asked this question in front of thousands and less than ten percent

thousands and less than ten percent

thousands and less than ten percent raise their hand welcome to being human

raise their hand welcome to being human

raise their hand welcome to being human we all struggle with insecurities and

we all struggle with insecurities and

we all struggle with insecurities and these insecurities can really hold us

these insecurities can really hold us

these insecurities can really hold us back from being engaged in our life and

back from being engaged in our life and

back from being engaged in our life and I’ve always believed that to feel really

I’ve always believed that to feel really

I’ve always believed that to feel really good about ourselves it’s important as i

good about ourselves it’s important as i

good about ourselves it’s important as i call it to be lit up in life it’s

call it to be lit up in life it’s

call it to be lit up in life it’s important to connect with our passion

important to connect with our passion

important to connect with our passion and our purpose for the past three

and our purpose for the past three

and our purpose for the past three decades i have been running a really

decades i have been running a really

decades i have been running a really successful staffing organization we get

successful staffing organization we get

successful staffing organization we get people jobs and this concept of being

people jobs and this concept of being

people jobs and this concept of being passionate of life is one that I have

passionate of life is one that I have

passionate of life is one that I have brought into the fabric of my

brought into the fabric of my

brought into the fabric of my organization I am really committed to my

organization I am really committed to my

organization I am really committed to my staff being lit up I want them feeling

staff being lit up I want them feeling

staff being lit up I want them feeling good about themselves and to feel as if

good about themselves and to feel as if

good about themselves and to feel as if they are contributing so at the core of

they are contributing so at the core of

they are contributing so at the core of my being I’m really shy and I’m an

my being I’m really shy and I’m an

my being I’m really shy and I’m an introvert more than an extrovert and I’m

introvert more than an extrovert and I’m

introvert more than an extrovert and I’m very familiar with these feelings of

very familiar with these feelings of

very familiar with these feelings of insecurity I want to share with you my

insecurity I want to share with you my

insecurity I want to share with you my story today and how I move through my

story today and how I move through my

story today and how I move through my insecurities and tapped into that

insecurities and tapped into that

insecurities and tapped into that passion and purpose so you can do the

passion and purpose so you can do the

passion and purpose so you can do the same I started to not feel good about

same I started to not feel good about

same I started to not feel good about myself when I was a kid I was four of

myself when I was a kid I was four of

myself when I was a kid I was four of five children and I one of my sisters

five children and I one of my sisters

five children and I one of my sisters was 18 months older than me and I

was 18 months older than me and I

was 18 months older than me and I constantly was comparing myself to her I

constantly was comparing myself to her I

constantly was comparing myself to her I felt like she was prettier and more

felt like she was prettier and more

felt like she was prettier and more popular and thinner than me to make

popular and thinner than me to make

popular and thinner than me to make matters worse I in the fourth grade was

matters worse I in the fourth grade was

matters worse I in the fourth grade was put in the lowest level reading group

put in the lowest level reading group

put in the lowest level reading group though red fruit you can imagine what

though red fruit you can imagine what

though red fruit you can imagine what that made me feel that’s the first time

that made me feel that’s the first time

that made me feel that’s the first time that I heard this negative chatter going

that I heard this negative chatter going

that I heard this negative chatter going on in my head it was this judge it was

on in my head it was this judge it was

on in my head it was this judge it was this judge or this critique saying

this judge or this critique saying

this judge or this critique saying not work I’m not good enough I’m not

not work I’m not good enough I’m not

not work I’m not good enough I’m not smart enough we all hear that chatter

smart enough we all hear that chatter

smart enough we all hear that chatter right sometimes it’s louder than others

right sometimes it’s louder than others

right sometimes it’s louder than others in fact humor me and close your eyes for

in fact humor me and close your eyes for

in fact humor me and close your eyes for a minute and I just want to ask you how

a minute and I just want to ask you how

a minute and I just want to ask you how are you feeling about yourself

open your eyes so were you judging were

open your eyes so were you judging were you self-doubting were you criticizing

you self-doubting were you criticizing

you self-doubting were you criticizing did you feel awesome did you feel

did you feel awesome did you feel

did you feel awesome did you feel connected those are the thoughts

connected those are the thoughts

connected those are the thoughts constantly running through us and I

constantly running through us and I

constantly running through us and I learned that there are over 70 thousand

learned that there are over 70 thousand

learned that there are over 70 thousand thoughts that run through our head on a

thoughts that run through our head on a

thoughts that run through our head on a daily basis and eighty percent of them

daily basis and eighty percent of them

daily basis and eighty percent of them are negative eighty percent think about

are negative eighty percent think about

are negative eighty percent think about it as a kid I really struggled and tried

it as a kid I really struggled and tried

it as a kid I really struggled and tried to figure out what to do with these

to figure out what to do with these

to figure out what to do with these thoughts as a Presbyterian ministers

thoughts as a Presbyterian ministers

thoughts as a Presbyterian ministers child I went to Hebrew school and

child I went to Hebrew school and

child I went to Hebrew school and catechism with my friends all to search

catechism with my friends all to search

catechism with my friends all to search for meaning I was lonely and then I was

for meaning I was lonely and then I was

for meaning I was lonely and then I was searching and moving through high school

searching and moving through high school

searching and moving through high school and college and still searching for this

and college and still searching for this

and college and still searching for this meaning of life really out not fitting

meaning of life really out not fitting

meaning of life really out not fitting in and my family thought for sure I

in and my family thought for sure I

in and my family thought for sure I would join a cult my first job in Boston

would join a cult my first job in Boston

would join a cult my first job in Boston I met a mentor who introduced me to this

I met a mentor who introduced me to this

I met a mentor who introduced me to this ancient tradition meditation and it was

ancient tradition meditation and it was

ancient tradition meditation and it was through this experience of meditation

through this experience of meditation

through this experience of meditation that I connected with my inner self and

that I connected with my inner self and

that I connected with my inner self and I had this huge epiphany here’s what I

I had this huge epiphany here’s what I

I had this huge epiphany here’s what I learned I learned that oh my gosh this

learned I learned that oh my gosh this

learned I learned that oh my gosh this negative chatter going on in my mind is

negative chatter going on in my mind is

negative chatter going on in my mind is not real these limiting beliefs are not

not real these limiting beliefs are not

not real these limiting beliefs are not real it’s made up and all of the sudden

real it’s made up and all of the sudden

real it’s made up and all of the sudden I felt like that’s what had held me back

I felt like that’s what had held me back

I felt like that’s what had held me back in my life so far it’s as if i had a

in my life so far it’s as if i had a

in my life so far it’s as if i had a speed limit on my life who wants to go

speed limit on my life who wants to go

speed limit on my life who wants to go 45 miles an hour and once I discovered

45 miles an hour and once I discovered

45 miles an hour and once I discovered this I started to practice more and more

this I started to practice more and more

this I started to practice more and more and then I started to thrive in my job

and then I started to thrive in my job

and then I started to thrive in my job and I was in sales and I was on fire why

and I was in sales and I was on fire why

and I was in sales and I was on fire why because I started feel good about myself

because I started feel good about myself

because I started feel good about myself I had confidence and then when I was 26

I had confidence and then when I was 26

I had confidence and then when I was 26 I with this new sense of confidence in

I with this new sense of confidence in

I with this new sense of confidence in belief in myself somehow I had the

belief in myself somehow I had the

belief in myself somehow I had the courage to open up my own company and we

courage to open up my own company and we

courage to open up my own company and we started to thrive why because I was

started to thrive why because I was

started to thrive why because I was passionate about what I did and I was

passionate about what I did and I was

passionate about what I did and I was also committed

also committed

also committed to helping others be passionate about

to helping others be passionate about

to helping others be passionate about what they did so I wanted to find

what they did so I wanted to find

what they did so I wanted to find someone the dream job and I also want to

someone the dream job and I also want to

someone the dream job and I also want to have people come into my company that

have people come into my company that

have people come into my company that wanted to help create a culture that was

wanted to help create a culture that was

wanted to help create a culture that was lit up through two recessions I got

lit up through two recessions I got

lit up through two recessions I got through those two recessions practicing

through those two recessions practicing

through those two recessions practicing meditation i had this laser focus so i

meditation i had this laser focus so i

meditation i had this laser focus so i was able to let go of all of the

was able to let go of all of the

was able to let go of all of the external stimuli and circumstances and

external stimuli and circumstances and

external stimuli and circumstances and stay centered and this was a really

stay centered and this was a really

stay centered and this was a really great gift and this company grew over

great gift and this company grew over

great gift and this company grew over the next two decades and then the third

the next two decades and then the third

the next two decades and then the third recession hit and when the third

recession hit and when the third

recession hit and when the third recession hit for whatever reason i had

recession hit for whatever reason i had

recession hit for whatever reason i had trouble going inward and practicing what

trouble going inward and practicing what

trouble going inward and practicing what I knew worked and instead I panicked and

I knew worked and instead I panicked and

I knew worked and instead I panicked and I felt like I have to fix things and I

I felt like I have to fix things and I

I felt like I have to fix things and I was living on four and five hours of

was living on four and five hours of

was living on four and five hours of sleep my cell phone was on 24 7 and I

sleep my cell phone was on 24 7 and I

sleep my cell phone was on 24 7 and I was on it and I was absolutely exhausted

was on it and I was absolutely exhausted

was on it and I was absolutely exhausted and in this time there was no meditation

and in this time there was no meditation

and in this time there was no meditation experience other than what i call that

experience other than what i call that

experience other than what i call that drive by experience introspection on the

drive by experience introspection on the

drive by experience introspection on the go so I was totally submerged in being a

go so I was totally submerged in being a

go so I was totally submerged in being a CEO a wife and a mother to four

CEO a wife and a mother to four

CEO a wife and a mother to four wonderful children and I imploded and I

wonderful children and I imploded and I

wonderful children and I imploded and I knew I said things have to change what

knew I said things have to change what

knew I said things have to change what do I do and so it was one day when I was

do I do and so it was one day when I was

do I do and so it was one day when I was driving home 45 minute drive home from

driving home 45 minute drive home from

driving home 45 minute drive home from work and I realized I didn’t know what

work and I realized I didn’t know what

work and I realized I didn’t know what rude i had taken i had no clue and this

rude i had taken i had no clue and this

rude i had taken i had no clue and this is when i said to myself you gotta

is when i said to myself you gotta

is when i said to myself you gotta change things have to change I was not

change things have to change I was not

change things have to change I was not passionate I was lonely and I was lost

passionate I was lonely and I was lost

passionate I was lonely and I was lost so what I did is I said I have to I have

so what I did is I said I have to I have

so what I did is I said I have to I have to do something I started to go inside

to do something I started to go inside

to do something I started to go inside and this another thing that happened in

and this another thing that happened in

and this another thing that happened in this time is that these limiting beliefs

this time is that these limiting beliefs

this time is that these limiting beliefs kicked in and I started to say to myself

kicked in and I started to say to myself

kicked in and I started to say to myself I’m not a good leader I’m not good

I’m not a good leader I’m not good

I’m not a good leader I’m not good enough I am not worthy and then I knew

enough I am not worthy and then I knew

enough I am not worthy and then I knew that I had

that I had

that I had turn inward for self-reflection it was

turn inward for self-reflection it was

turn inward for self-reflection it was not an easy process and i had to get

not an easy process and i had to get

not an easy process and i had to get quiet again because i remembered that

quiet again because i remembered that

quiet again because i remembered that this is what had gotten me to this point

this is what had gotten me to this point

this is what had gotten me to this point so far so I took time and here’s what

so far so I took time and here’s what

so far so I took time and here’s what quiet looks like quiet is sitting with

quiet looks like quiet is sitting with

quiet looks like quiet is sitting with no cell phone even in the room no TV no

no cell phone even in the room no TV no

no cell phone even in the room no TV no papers no people no distractions and I

papers no people no distractions and I

papers no people no distractions and I started to meditate again and in

started to meditate again and in

started to meditate again and in meditation I discovered Wow when we’re

meditation I discovered Wow when we’re

meditation I discovered Wow when we’re so stressed out why do we give up on

so stressed out why do we give up on

so stressed out why do we give up on taking care of ourselves what why does

taking care of ourselves what why does

taking care of ourselves what why does that happen and I became centered again

that happen and I became centered again

that happen and I became centered again I can’t became focused again and this

I can’t became focused again and this

I can’t became focused again and this experience was so enriching for me so I

experience was so enriching for me so I

experience was so enriching for me so I wanted to make this experience permanent

wanted to make this experience permanent

wanted to make this experience permanent I wanted this change to be permanent of

I wanted this change to be permanent of

I wanted this change to be permanent of me so I knew what to do I said I have to

me so I knew what to do I said I have to

me so I knew what to do I said I have to just set this vision and commit to it

just set this vision and commit to it

just set this vision and commit to it and stick to it and take action now this

and stick to it and take action now this

and stick to it and take action now this realization was both exhilarating and

realization was both exhilarating and

realization was both exhilarating and terrifying first step i went into my vp

terrifying first step i went into my vp

terrifying first step i went into my vp of finance and i said we will be

of finance and i said we will be

of finance and i said we will be building a huge meditation room can you

building a huge meditation room can you

building a huge meditation room can you imagine his look oh boy I said I’m

imagine his look oh boy I said I’m

imagine his look oh boy I said I’m committed I want my staff to be able to

committed I want my staff to be able to

committed I want my staff to be able to have a space where they can self reflect

have a space where they can self reflect

have a space where they can self reflect so that they don’t spiral down the way I

so that they don’t spiral down the way I

so that they don’t spiral down the way I did and furthermore I want to teach them

did and furthermore I want to teach them

did and furthermore I want to teach them i want to teach them how to recognize

i want to teach them how to recognize

i want to teach them how to recognize those limiting thoughts and limiting

those limiting thoughts and limiting

those limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs so that they can learn

beliefs so that they can learn

beliefs so that they can learn self-awareness and be more productive

self-awareness and be more productive

self-awareness and be more productive successful and happy in life and then I

successful and happy in life and then I

successful and happy in life and then I thought what if I took this a step

thought what if I took this a step

thought what if I took this a step further what if I went out into the

further what if I went out into the

further what if I went out into the community with this so I got really

community with this so I got really

community with this so I got really excited about this I had the vision of

excited about this I had the vision of

excited about this I had the vision of opening up an institute where we would

opening up an institute where we would

opening up an institute where we would teach mindfulness and emotional

teach mindfulness and emotional

teach mindfulness and emotional intelligence as ways to overcome

intelligence as ways to overcome

intelligence as ways to overcome obstacles and release our limiting

obstacles and release our limiting

obstacles and release our limiting beliefs and I shared this with my

beliefs and I shared this with my

beliefs and I shared this with my leadership team my board of advisors and

leadership team my board of advisors and

leadership team my board of advisors and my friends and family and things didn’t

my friends and family and things didn’t

my friends and family and things didn’t go as I planned I got shut down it isn’t

go as I planned I got shut down it isn’t

go as I planned I got shut down it isn’t the time for the

the time for the

the time for the Boston is not ready for this you’ll

Boston is not ready for this you’ll

Boston is not ready for this you’ll jeopardize your brand you will ruin your

jeopardize your brand you will ruin your

jeopardize your brand you will ruin your company I was devastated I could not

company I was devastated I could not

company I was devastated I could not imagine how connected I was with my

imagine how connected I was with my

imagine how connected I was with my passion and purpose and I felt so shut

passion and purpose and I felt so shut

passion and purpose and I felt so shut down and I knew I could make an impact

down and I knew I could make an impact

down and I knew I could make an impact on the community so I had to go inside

on the community so I had to go inside

on the community so I had to go inside again and I self-reflective and here’s

again and I self-reflective and here’s

again and I self-reflective and here’s what i did i said to myself you know

what i did i said to myself you know

what i did i said to myself you know what these voices that I’m hearing have

what these voices that I’m hearing have

what these voices that I’m hearing have clicked in again because that you know

clicked in again because that you know

clicked in again because that you know the the roaring lion lion of my limiting

the the roaring lion lion of my limiting

the the roaring lion lion of my limiting beliefs just love what those people were

beliefs just love what those people were

beliefs just love what those people were saying to me and I had to assure that to

saying to me and I had to assure that to

saying to me and I had to assure that to the side and stay focused and listen to

the side and stay focused and listen to

the side and stay focused and listen to my intuition because my intuition always

my intuition because my intuition always

my intuition because my intuition always tells me the truth and so the Institute

tells me the truth and so the Institute

tells me the truth and so the Institute would become a reality so I went back to

would become a reality so I went back to

would become a reality so I went back to my leadership team and I said we’re

my leadership team and I said we’re

my leadership team and I said we’re making this a go we’re moving forward

making this a go we’re moving forward

making this a go we’re moving forward because if I don’t move forward I will

because if I don’t move forward I will

because if I don’t move forward I will live to regret it to which they said

live to regret it to which they said

live to regret it to which they said they were on board and that was three

they were on board and that was three

they were on board and that was three years ago since that time we’ve trained

years ago since that time we’ve trained

years ago since that time we’ve trained over 500 people and we have connected

over 500 people and we have connected

over 500 people and we have connected people through mindfulness and teaching

people through mindfulness and teaching

people through mindfulness and teaching emotional intelligence so that they are

emotional intelligence so that they are

emotional intelligence so that they are released they are released and they can

released they are released and they can

released they are released and they can live more limitless lives so I ask you

live more limitless lives so I ask you

live more limitless lives so I ask you what are you passionate about and is

what are you passionate about and is

what are you passionate about and is there anything that’s holding you back

there anything that’s holding you back

there anything that’s holding you back and if so what price are you paying

and if so what price are you paying

and if so what price are you paying emotionally physically spiritually these

emotionally physically spiritually these

emotionally physically spiritually these are challenging times for many I wonder

are challenging times for many I wonder

are challenging times for many I wonder what it would be like if you were able

what it would be like if you were able

what it would be like if you were able to acknowledge those negative thoughts

to acknowledge those negative thoughts

to acknowledge those negative thoughts and let them go and then turn the volume

and let them go and then turn the volume

and let them go and then turn the volume and the noise down on your limiting

and the noise down on your limiting

and the noise down on your limiting beliefs what would open up for you and

beliefs what would open up for you and

beliefs what would open up for you and what would be possible unlimited

what would be possible unlimited

what would be possible unlimited possibilities no speed limit I encourage

possibilities no speed limit I encourage

possibilities no speed limit I encourage you to take time out everyday for

you to take time out everyday for

you to take time out everyday for self-reflection even if it’s ten minutes

self-reflection even if it’s ten minutes

self-reflection even if it’s ten minutes a day it can

a day it can

a day it can make a world of difference and this is

make a world of difference and this is

make a world of difference and this is where you can connect with your inner

where you can connect with your inner

where you can connect with your inner your inner self so that you can define

your inner self so that you can define

your inner self so that you can define and understand your passion so that

and understand your passion so that

and understand your passion so that you’re able to make the right decision

you’re able to make the right decision

you’re able to make the right decision for whatever you want in your life I am

for whatever you want in your life I am

for whatever you want in your life I am living the most lid of life I have ever

living the most lid of life I have ever

living the most lid of life I have ever had in years and I’d like the same for

had in years and I’d like the same for

had in years and I’d like the same for you