At the Mercy of our Minds | Iulia Oprea | TEDxTârguMureș

so good to be back here on the TEDx

so good to be back here on the TEDx stage mainly because I can share too

stage mainly because I can share too

stage mainly because I can share too with you something that I strongly

with you something that I strongly

with you something that I strongly believe in and it goes something like

believe in and it goes something like

believe in and it goes something like this we are at the mercy of our own

this we are at the mercy of our own

this we are at the mercy of our own minds unless we learn to broaden our

minds unless we learn to broaden our

minds unless we learn to broaden our perspective you know some of us are

perspective you know some of us are

perspective you know some of us are already experiencing an empowering way

already experiencing an empowering way

already experiencing an empowering way of thinking some of us are already

of thinking some of us are already

of thinking some of us are already experiencing new ways of functioning

experiencing new ways of functioning

experiencing new ways of functioning where the focus is mainly on taking

where the focus is mainly on taking

where the focus is mainly on taking responsibility for our own lives not so

responsibility for our own lives not so

responsibility for our own lives not so long ago this guy contacted me his name

long ago this guy contacted me his name

long ago this guy contacted me his name is Vincent Korver he’s a

is Vincent Korver he’s a

is Vincent Korver he’s a grammy-nominated concert pianist and he

grammy-nominated concert pianist and he

grammy-nominated concert pianist and he had found my Instagram profile my

had found my Instagram profile my

had found my Instagram profile my coaching in single profile and we had a

coaching in single profile and we had a

coaching in single profile and we had a discussion because he was telling me

discussion because he was telling me

discussion because he was telling me that my coaching method was the missing

that my coaching method was the missing

that my coaching method was the missing link to his program and the nice Kim

link to his program and the nice Kim

link to his program and the nice Kim what do you do and of course besides

what do you do and of course besides

what do you do and of course besides being an artist he has a program which

being an artist he has a program which

being an artist he has a program which helps young artists to unravel their

helps young artists to unravel their

helps young artists to unravel their talent because he already knows how

talent because he already knows how

talent because he already knows how difficult it is to make it in this world

difficult it is to make it in this world

difficult it is to make it in this world he wants to help people to overcome the

he wants to help people to overcome the

he wants to help people to overcome the difficulties that he had to face I think

difficulties that he had to face I think

difficulties that he had to face I think that’s really cool and he was telling me

that’s really cool and he was telling me

that’s really cool and he was telling me to quote his words exactly that my ideas

to quote his words exactly that my ideas

to quote his words exactly that my ideas had struck him like a hammer on the head

had struck him like a hammer on the head

had struck him like a hammer on the head so when we were talking we were actually

so when we were talking we were actually

so when we were talking we were actually did we were actually talking about this

did we were actually talking about this

did we were actually talking about this one idea that people expect to be

one idea that people expect to be

one idea that people expect to be successful at once they want to be happy

successful at once they want to be happy

successful at once they want to be happy they want to be successful and then they

they want to be successful and then they

they want to be successful and then they go out there and then they get real and

go out there and then they get real and

go out there and then they get real and then they realize that it’s not that

then they realize that it’s not that

then they realize that it’s not that easy and you know you just have to go on

easy and you know you just have to go on

easy and you know you just have to go on social media for ten minutes and you

social media for ten minutes and you

social media for ten minutes and you know you’re going to know what I’m

know you’re going to know what I’m

know you’re going to know what I’m talking about like it’s everywhere it’s

talking about like it’s everywhere it’s

talking about like it’s everywhere it’s like happiness it’s important to be

like happiness it’s important to be

like happiness it’s important to be happy all the time no no bad vibe just

happy all the time no no bad vibe just

happy all the time no no bad vibe just good

good

good herbs and all that and this is actually

herbs and all that and this is actually

herbs and all that and this is actually the thing that leads to disappointment

the thing that leads to disappointment

the thing that leads to disappointment in the end so what was basically the

in the end so what was basically the

in the end so what was basically the idea that missing information that we

idea that missing information that we

idea that missing information that we were talking about with Vincent it was

were talking about with Vincent it was

were talking about with Vincent it was this first of all we have to have a base

this first of all we have to have a base

this first of all we have to have a base and our base is to appreciate the

and our base is to appreciate the

and our base is to appreciate the negative thoughts and the emotions that

negative thoughts and the emotions that

negative thoughts and the emotions that we face on a daily basis if we don’t

we face on a daily basis if we don’t

we face on a daily basis if we don’t know how to deal with that then we have

know how to deal with that then we have

know how to deal with that then we have a problem if we learn how to deal with

a problem if we learn how to deal with

a problem if we learn how to deal with that then on that we can build later on

that then on that we can build later on

that then on that we can build later on with positive thinking so you know I

with positive thinking so you know I

with positive thinking so you know I didn’t really come up with all this I’ve

didn’t really come up with all this I’ve

didn’t really come up with all this I’ve had I’ve had my own share of issues and

had I’ve had my own share of issues and

had I’ve had my own share of issues and my work related goal actually led me to

my work related goal actually led me to

my work related goal actually led me to Barcelona my nephew he lived there for

Barcelona my nephew he lived there for

Barcelona my nephew he lived there for two years and he had a friend there who

two years and he had a friend there who

two years and he had a friend there who was a trauma coach and you know since I

was a trauma coach and you know since I

was a trauma coach and you know since I really like to experience on myself new

really like to experience on myself new

really like to experience on myself new things and new coaching methods I

things and new coaching methods I

things and new coaching methods I thought I will give him a call and ask

thought I will give him a call and ask

thought I will give him a call and ask him if he’s willing to talk to me so I I

him if he’s willing to talk to me so I I

him if he’s willing to talk to me so I I told him in a funny way that hey I have

told him in a funny way that hey I have

told him in a funny way that hey I have more issues than a Vogue magazine can

more issues than a Vogue magazine can

more issues than a Vogue magazine can you coach me and he said yeah of course

you coach me and he said yeah of course

you coach me and he said yeah of course so two months later I was in Barcelona

so two months later I was in Barcelona

so two months later I was in Barcelona knocking on his door that’s when we

knocking on his door that’s when we

knocking on his door that’s when we actually met for the first time in

actually met for the first time in

actually met for the first time in person and I underwent more than 30 days

person and I underwent more than 30 days

person and I underwent more than 30 days of coaching session with Otto a liar who

of coaching session with Otto a liar who

of coaching session with Otto a liar who is from Venezuela but lives in Barcelona

so before we started the coaching there

so before we started the coaching there were a couple of rules and I’m glad we

were a couple of rules and I’m glad we

were a couple of rules and I’m glad we talked about these rules in advance

talked about these rules in advance

talked about these rules in advance because otherwise it would have been

because otherwise it would have been

because otherwise it would have been horrible so the rules were the following

horrible so the rules were the following

horrible so the rules were the following I am open to the possibility that there

I am open to the possibility that there

I am open to the possibility that there is more than what I perceive right now

I am open to the possibility that my

I am open to the possibility that my version of the story is actually causing

version of the story is actually causing

version of the story is actually causing my conflict my inner and outer conflict

my conflict my inner and outer conflict

my conflict my inner and outer conflict I am willing to dedicate myself fully to

I am willing to dedicate myself fully to

I am willing to dedicate myself fully to this coaching session or its coaching

this coaching session or its coaching

this coaching session or its coaching process basically in order to have

process basically in order to have

process basically in order to have maximum results I am willing to adapt an

maximum results I am willing to adapt an

maximum results I am willing to adapt an overview perspective which means I’m not

overview perspective which means I’m not

overview perspective which means I’m not going to judge others in the scenes that

going to judge others in the scenes that

going to judge others in the scenes that we’re going to talk about and I’m also

we’re going to talk about and I’m also

we’re going to talk about and I’m also not going to judge myself I am willing

not going to judge myself I am willing

not going to judge myself I am willing to look into the possibility that there

to look into the possibility that there

to look into the possibility that there is a hidden message for me in all of my

is a hidden message for me in all of my

is a hidden message for me in all of my negative emotions and thoughts that I’m

negative emotions and thoughts that I’m

negative emotions and thoughts that I’m experiencing I am ready to let go of any

experiencing I am ready to let go of any

experiencing I am ready to let go of any feelings of victimhood in any situation

feelings of victimhood in any situation

feelings of victimhood in any situation I am ready to challenge all the things

I am ready to challenge all the things

I am ready to challenge all the things that I believe in now right now and I’m

that I believe in now right now and I’m

that I believe in now right now and I’m ready to get real and tell the truth and

ready to get real and tell the truth and

ready to get real and tell the truth and the truth hurts I can’t tell ya he’s

the truth hurts I can’t tell ya he’s

the truth hurts I can’t tell ya he’s laughing I can’t tell you that there

laughing I can’t tell you that there

laughing I can’t tell you that there weren’t moments where I felt like

weren’t moments where I felt like

weren’t moments where I felt like hitting him but I had to realize that it

hitting him but I had to realize that it

hitting him but I had to realize that it was only because he had shown me the

was only because he had shown me the

was only because he had shown me the things that I didn’t want to see about

things that I didn’t want to see about

things that I didn’t want to see about myself and it caused me such anger you

myself and it caused me such anger you

myself and it caused me such anger you cannot imagine but there’s no progress

cannot imagine but there’s no progress

cannot imagine but there’s no progress unless you get real also I’m also

unless you get real also I’m also

unless you get real also I’m also coaching and in the meantime I my

coaching and in the meantime I my

coaching and in the meantime I my coaching clients ask me actually it’s a

coaching clients ask me actually it’s a

coaching clients ask me actually it’s a very frequent question they ask me okay

very frequent question they ask me okay

very frequent question they ask me okay when I do this coaching session does

when I do this coaching session does

when I do this coaching session does this mean that from now on I will not

this mean that from now on I will not

this mean that from now on I will not have these negative emotions and

have these negative emotions and

have these negative emotions and feelings anymore and my answer is nope

feelings anymore and my answer is nope

feelings anymore and my answer is nope you will still have them so they asked

you will still have them so they asked

you will still have them so they asked me then what’s the point and the point

me then what’s the point and the point

me then what’s the point and the point is to know how to look at these things

is to know how to look at these things

is to know how to look at these things differently than you did before so

differently than you did before so

differently than you did before so sometimes but you not sometimes

sometimes but you not sometimes

sometimes but you not sometimes but I would say all the time we over

but I would say all the time we over

but I would say all the time we over empower one area of our lives and then

empower one area of our lives and then

empower one area of our lives and then that means with disempower some other

that means with disempower some other

that means with disempower some other area of our lives and when we do this

area of our lives and when we do this

area of our lives and when we do this we’re going to create a void which is

we’re going to create a void which is

we’re going to create a void which is going to make us do crazy things like

going to make us do crazy things like

going to make us do crazy things like cause or cause ourselves some drama or

cause or cause ourselves some drama or

cause or cause ourselves some drama or even some trauma and like everything in

even some trauma and like everything in

even some trauma and like everything in nature also as humans we strive for

nature also as humans we strive for

nature also as humans we strive for balance so when we’re out of balance

balance so when we’re out of balance

balance so when we’re out of balance something for sure is going to happen

something for sure is going to happen

something for sure is going to happen that will bring us back to our balance

that will bring us back to our balance

that will bring us back to our balance and by balance you can also say by

and by balance you can also say by

and by balance you can also say by getting real to yourself the big big

getting real to yourself the big big

getting real to yourself the big big damage that we’re doing to ourselves is

damage that we’re doing to ourselves is

damage that we’re doing to ourselves is when we think that our emotions our

when we think that our emotions our

when we think that our emotions our negative emotions are bad and only our

negative emotions are bad and only our

negative emotions are bad and only our positive emotions are good because then

positive emotions are good because then

positive emotions are good because then we take away the message then we take

we take away the message then we take

we take away the message then we take him tick away the lesson that these

him tick away the lesson that these

him tick away the lesson that these negative emotions are here to tell us

negative emotions are here to tell us

negative emotions are here to tell us and we take away the possibility to grow

and we take away the possibility to grow

and we take away the possibility to grow and this is something so cool that auto

and this is something so cool that auto

and this is something so cool that auto oiler told me and I try to remind myself

oiler told me and I try to remind myself

oiler told me and I try to remind myself every now and then when I’m delusional

every now and then when I’m delusional

every now and then when I’m delusional or when I’m building up my bubble around

or when I’m building up my bubble around

or when I’m building up my bubble around my head that the pain that I’m

my head that the pain that I’m

my head that the pain that I’m experiencing is just showing me how far

experiencing is just showing me how far

experiencing is just showing me how far I am from reality so it’s basically the

I am from reality so it’s basically the

I am from reality so it’s basically the pain is the distance between my

pain is the distance between my

pain is the distance between my expectations and what is actually there

yeah so denial is good you know you can

yeah so denial is good you know you can stick your head in the sand for a while

stick your head in the sand for a while

stick your head in the sand for a while but if when you take out your head then

but if when you take out your head then

but if when you take out your head then it’s going to be painful so we can

it’s going to be painful so we can

it’s going to be painful so we can choose to live life like this and the

choose to live life like this and the

choose to live life like this and the fact is that a lot of people actually

fact is that a lot of people actually

fact is that a lot of people actually lived their lives like this but they

lived their lives like this but they

lived their lives like this but they take away the possibility from

take away the possibility from

take away the possibility from themselves to grow and to learn and to

themselves to grow and to learn and to

themselves to grow and to learn and to live life to the full potential I know

live life to the full potential I know

live life to the full potential I know this sounds weird but seriously negative

this sounds weird but seriously negative

this sounds weird but seriously negative emotions they can teach you so much a

emotions they can teach you so much a

emotions they can teach you so much a lot more than the positive emotions

lot more than the positive emotions

lot more than the positive emotions those are good feelings and negative

those are good feelings and negative

those are good feelings and negative emotions of course you know it’s painful

emotions of course you know it’s painful

emotions of course you know it’s painful like who wants to deal with that nobody

like who wants to deal with that nobody

like who wants to deal with that nobody I don’t think everybody that I don’t

I don’t think everybody that I don’t

I don’t think everybody that I don’t like it I hate it but in a fearful

like it I hate it but in a fearful

like it I hate it but in a fearful situation for instance because you know

situation for instance because you know

situation for instance because you know I’m afraid of a lot of I’m afraid of

I’m afraid of a lot of I’m afraid of

I’m afraid of a lot of I’m afraid of flying so I usually when I’m on a plane

flying so I usually when I’m on a plane

flying so I usually when I’m on a plane then then I usually do do this coaching

then then I usually do do this coaching

then then I usually do do this coaching sessions on myself and I like to ask

sessions on myself and I like to ask

sessions on myself and I like to ask myself so what is my fear of flying for

myself so what is my fear of flying for

myself so what is my fear of flying for instance trying to make me do that I

instance trying to make me do that I

instance trying to make me do that I wouldn’t do if I wouldn’t be afraid of

wouldn’t do if I wouldn’t be afraid of

wouldn’t do if I wouldn’t be afraid of flying and this mentality puts your

flying and this mentality puts your

flying and this mentality puts your brain in a different perspective in a

brain in a different perspective in a

brain in a different perspective in a perspective where where you can look at

perspective where where you can look at

perspective where where you can look at yourself from outside and and you do not

yourself from outside and and you do not

yourself from outside and and you do not identify yourself with a problem anymore

identify yourself with a problem anymore

identify yourself with a problem anymore and that’s really important that because

and that’s really important that because

and that’s really important that because when you tell yourself I’m looking when

when you tell yourself I’m looking when

when you tell yourself I’m looking when you tell yourself there is something

you tell yourself there is something

you tell yourself there is something here that I should see then you are

here that I should see then you are

here that I should see then you are going to find it it’s just as it’s as

going to find it it’s just as it’s as

going to find it it’s just as it’s as easy as that well technology

so auto oiler is going to be on stage

so auto oiler is going to be on stage soon so we can laugh here together so we

soon so we can laugh here together so we

soon so we can laugh here together so we can continue living our lives with the

can continue living our lives with the

can continue living our lives with the head in the sand but the thing is that

head in the sand but the thing is that

head in the sand but the thing is that when you don’t appreciate what the

when you don’t appreciate what the

when you don’t appreciate what the messages then life will always give you

messages then life will always give you

messages then life will always give you another chance because life is so

another chance because life is so

another chance because life is so generous and usually it’s going to give

generous and usually it’s going to give

generous and usually it’s going to give it to you in the form of another person

it to you in the form of another person

it to you in the form of another person and in the form of a different situation

so how was coaching in Barcelona

so how was coaching in Barcelona actually you might ask what Tyler asked

actually you might ask what Tyler asked

actually you might ask what Tyler asked me this really cool question that

me this really cool question that

me this really cool question that sounded like is there an event in your

sounded like is there an event in your

sounded like is there an event in your life that you wish it would have

life that you wish it would have

life that you wish it would have happened differently than it did so an

happened differently than it did so an

happened differently than it did so an effort her first heard this question I

effort her first heard this question I

effort her first heard this question I was thinking no actually no because I am

was thinking no actually no because I am

was thinking no actually no because I am what I am today thanks to thanks to

what I am today thanks to thanks to

what I am today thanks to thanks to everything that has happened to me up

everything that has happened to me up

everything that has happened to me up until now but then with the help of my

until now but then with the help of my

until now but then with the help of my coach I was digging a little bit deeper

coach I was digging a little bit deeper

coach I was digging a little bit deeper and he asked me to find or identify a

and he asked me to find or identify a

and he asked me to find or identify a negative emotional charge in these

negative emotional charge in these

negative emotional charge in these situations and i really ask myself if it

situations and i really ask myself if it

situations and i really ask myself if it still hurts that i didn’t get my way in

still hurts that i didn’t get my way in

still hurts that i didn’t get my way in some of these events did it still hurt

some of these events did it still hurt

some of these events did it still hurt for you know being abandoned in a

for you know being abandoned in a

for you know being abandoned in a situation when i was in need of love or

situation when i was in need of love or

situation when i was in need of love or care and does it still hurt that I’m not

care and does it still hurt that I’m not

care and does it still hurt that I’m not accepted by some people for for the way

accepted by some people for for the way

accepted by some people for for the way I am and truth was that it still hurt so

I am and truth was that it still hurt so

I am and truth was that it still hurt so then I went further nice myself could it

then I went further nice myself could it

then I went further nice myself could it be that because of these emotions all

be that because of these emotions all

be that because of these emotions all still there I actually created a fence

still there I actually created a fence

still there I actually created a fence around myself could it be that

around myself could it be that

around myself could it be that subconsciously because of these emotions

subconsciously because of these emotions

subconsciously because of these emotions I am going to do everything possible to

I am going to do everything possible to

I am going to do everything possible to avoid feeling like this again and could

avoid feeling like this again and could

avoid feeling like this again and could it be that exactly because of these

it be that exactly because of these

it be that exactly because of these emotion

emotion

emotion I am actually not getting in life what I

I am actually not getting in life what I

I am actually not getting in life what I want the most and then we examined these

want the most and then we examined these

want the most and then we examined these three very painful stuff resentment

three very painful stuff resentment

three very painful stuff resentment shame and guilt because we identified

shame and guilt because we identified

shame and guilt because we identified that in most situations not just in mind

that in most situations not just in mind

that in most situations not just in mind but most clients the situation

but most clients the situation

but most clients the situation resentment shame or guilt that the

resentment shame or guilt that the

resentment shame or guilt that the ground of everything so what is

ground of everything so what is

ground of everything so what is resentment it’s basically it’s me

resentment it’s basically it’s me

resentment it’s basically it’s me wanting you to live life according to my

wanting you to live life according to my

wanting you to live life according to my values okay so for instance expectations

values okay so for instance expectations

values okay so for instance expectations or resentments waiting to happen what is

or resentments waiting to happen what is

or resentments waiting to happen what is shame shame is something we don’t want

shame shame is something we don’t want

shame shame is something we don’t want having anyone to know because we are

having anyone to know because we are

having anyone to know because we are afraid that they are going to judge us

afraid that they are going to judge us

afraid that they are going to judge us exactly in the way we would judge them

exactly in the way we would judge them

exactly in the way we would judge them in a similar situation and like brené

in a similar situation and like brené

in a similar situation and like brené Brown says she has a very good quote it

Brown says she has a very good quote it

Brown says she has a very good quote it said that shame derives its power from

said that shame derives its power from

said that shame derives its power from being unspoken and guilt guilt is the

being unspoken and guilt guilt is the

being unspoken and guilt guilt is the feeling that we cause more pain than

feeling that we cause more pain than

feeling that we cause more pain than pleasure and what is the interpretation

pleasure and what is the interpretation

pleasure and what is the interpretation of everything of all this of the

of everything of all this of the

of everything of all this of the resentment of the shame and of the guilt

resentment of the shame and of the guilt

resentment of the shame and of the guilt it’s I’m not good enough I believe that

it’s I’m not good enough I believe that

it’s I’m not good enough I believe that going through painful situations is

going through painful situations is

going through painful situations is truly worth it if you can look at it

truly worth it if you can look at it

truly worth it if you can look at it from a different perspective one which

from a different perspective one which

from a different perspective one which as I said before and I can only repeat

as I said before and I can only repeat

as I said before and I can only repeat myself one that is showing you the

myself one that is showing you the

myself one that is showing you the hidden message within otherwise it’s

hidden message within otherwise it’s

hidden message within otherwise it’s just like letting it all happen again

auto always told me i’m not going to

auto always told me i’m not going to empathize with your victimhood identity

empathize with your victimhood identity

empathize with your victimhood identity because i love to lick my wounds you

because i love to lick my wounds you

because i love to lick my wounds you know and to go over and over again the

know and to go over and over again the

know and to go over and over again the same painful situation and said no no we

same painful situation and said no no we

same painful situation and said no no we don’t do that however i am going to

don’t do that however i am going to

don’t do that however i am going to empathize with your breakthrough because

empathize with your breakthrough because

empathize with your breakthrough because that gives you the power because that’s

that gives you the power because that’s

that gives you the power because that’s when you understand that it’s in your

when you understand that it’s in your

when you understand that it’s in your hands to change the past yes we can’t

hands to change the past yes we can’t

hands to change the past yes we can’t change the past it can change it in our

change the past it can change it in our

change the past it can change it in our minds and that’s why I started with the

minds and that’s why I started with the

minds and that’s why I started with the sentence we are at the mercy of our

sentence we are at the mercy of our

sentence we are at the mercy of our minds because a lot of hard painful

minds because a lot of hard painful

minds because a lot of hard painful stuff happens in life I’m not trying to

stuff happens in life I’m not trying to

stuff happens in life I’m not trying to be bring anyone down it’s it’s the truth

be bring anyone down it’s it’s the truth

be bring anyone down it’s it’s the truth it happens and how you look at it and

it happens and how you look at it and

it happens and how you look at it and how you process it is going to make all

how you process it is going to make all

how you process it is going to make all the difference in your present and in

the difference in your present and in

the difference in your present and in your future and that’s why I dare to say

your future and that’s why I dare to say

your future and that’s why I dare to say that you can change the past and when

that you can change the past and when

that you can change the past and when something very painful happens we only

something very painful happens we only

something very painful happens we only tend to see that the negative in the

tend to see that the negative in the

tend to see that the negative in the situation and we judge the positive we

situation and we judge the positive we

situation and we judge the positive we don’t see it actually because we not

don’t see it actually because we not

don’t see it actually because we not only judge the positive but we also

only judge the positive but we also

only judge the positive but we also judged the form in which is presented to

judged the form in which is presented to

judged the form in which is presented to us let’s say somebody hurts me and

us let’s say somebody hurts me and

us let’s say somebody hurts me and actually I expect appreciation because

actually I expect appreciation because

actually I expect appreciation because to me the opposite of hurt is

to me the opposite of hurt is

to me the opposite of hurt is appreciation and I expect the

appreciation and I expect the

appreciation and I expect the appreciation from the person who’s

appreciation from the person who’s

appreciation from the person who’s hurting me but I’m not going to get it

hurting me but I’m not going to get it

hurting me but I’m not going to get it from there however I might get it from

from there however I might get it from

from there however I might get it from somewhere else but I don’t see it

somewhere else but I don’t see it

somewhere else but I don’t see it because I’m too overwhelmed by the pain

because I’m too overwhelmed by the pain

because I’m too overwhelmed by the pain and this is what this method can help

and this is what this method can help

and this is what this method can help you realize

okay so understanding the concept that

okay so understanding the concept that not only can you change the past but you

not only can you change the past but you

not only can you change the past but you can learn to appreciate the negative

can learn to appreciate the negative

can learn to appreciate the negative emotions that you face on an everyday

emotions that you face on an everyday

emotions that you face on an everyday basis is huge step and living according

basis is huge step and living according

basis is huge step and living according to this is the most difficult thing that

to this is the most difficult thing that

to this is the most difficult thing that I’ve ever done in my entire life

I’ve ever done in my entire life

I’ve ever done in my entire life honestly but since I’ve tried it and it

honestly but since I’ve tried it and it

honestly but since I’ve tried it and it worked already in some areas of my life

worked already in some areas of my life

worked already in some areas of my life I dare to stand here in front of you and

I dare to stand here in front of you and

I dare to stand here in front of you and tell you it’s possible I’ve seen more

tell you it’s possible I’ve seen more

tell you it’s possible I’ve seen more difficult cases than my own we tend to

difficult cases than my own we tend to

difficult cases than my own we tend to think that our problems are the biggest

think that our problems are the biggest

think that our problems are the biggest which is natural because this is how we

which is natural because this is how we

which is natural because this is how we work but Otto he invited me to assist

work but Otto he invited me to assist

work but Otto he invited me to assist some of his coaching sessions and we

some of his coaching sessions and we

some of his coaching sessions and we were talking to to some clients who

were talking to to some clients who

were talking to to some clients who agreed to my presence and not only

agreed to my presence and not only

agreed to my presence and not only agreed to my presence but they also

agreed to my presence but they also

agreed to my presence but they also wanted their coaching sessions to be

wanted their coaching sessions to be

wanted their coaching sessions to be filmed because they wanted to help other

filmed because they wanted to help other

filmed because they wanted to help other people who struggle with the same issue

people who struggle with the same issue

people who struggle with the same issue and actually when you when you see

and actually when you when you see

and actually when you when you see someone having a breakthrough from being

someone having a breakthrough from being

someone having a breakthrough from being raped for over a decade by a family

raped for over a decade by a family

raped for over a decade by a family member then you are overwhelmed then

member then you are overwhelmed then

member then you are overwhelmed then you’re humbled I remember I cried for

you’re humbled I remember I cried for

you’re humbled I remember I cried for hours in a row I couldn’t believe it

hours in a row I couldn’t believe it

hours in a row I couldn’t believe it it’s possible what it is and months

it’s possible what it is and months

it’s possible what it is and months later three months later actually she

later three months later actually she

later three months later actually she she called again and she didn’t fall

she called again and she didn’t fall

she called again and she didn’t fall back she really actually managed to

back she really actually managed to

back she really actually managed to change how she looked at that period of

change how she looked at that period of

change how she looked at that period of her life so you can read the decision

her life so you can read the decision

her life so you can read the decision like you don’t have you can stick your

like you don’t have you can stick your

like you don’t have you can stick your head in the sand or you can stick it out

head in the sand or you can stick it out

head in the sand or you can stick it out it’s up to you it’s neither good or bad

it’s up to you it’s neither good or bad

it’s up to you it’s neither good or bad it’s just the way it is it’s up to you

it’s just the way it is it’s up to you

it’s just the way it is it’s up to you it’s your decision but if you notice

it’s your decision but if you notice

it’s your decision but if you notice behavior and patterns in your in your

behavior and patterns in your in your

behavior and patterns in your in your life let’s say you always go into

life let’s say you always go into

life let’s say you always go into relationship

relationship

relationship there’s always the same kind of painful

there’s always the same kind of painful

there’s always the same kind of painful outcome or let’s say you you go to work

outcome or let’s say you you go to work

outcome or let’s say you you go to work and then somehow in your workplace you

and then somehow in your workplace you

and then somehow in your workplace you always end up in the same weird

always end up in the same weird

always end up in the same weird situations no matter the company then

situations no matter the company then

situations no matter the company then then it means that you can do something

then it means that you can do something

then it means that you can do something about it but it’s up to you and the very

about it but it’s up to you and the very

about it but it’s up to you and the very very good news and the very bad news may

very good news and the very bad news may

very good news and the very bad news may I say or positive or negative news is

I say or positive or negative news is

I say or positive or negative news is that we get what we are I don’t know if

that we get what we are I don’t know if

that we get what we are I don’t know if you understand this but everything that

you understand this but everything that

you understand this but everything that we have in our lives now is basically a

we have in our lives now is basically a

we have in our lives now is basically a perfect match to what we are but and I

perfect match to what we are but and I

perfect match to what we are but and I think too i look at it already as a good

think too i look at it already as a good

think too i look at it already as a good news because if there’s something I

news because if there’s something I

news because if there’s something I don’t like after i freak out a couple of

don’t like after i freak out a couple of

don’t like after i freak out a couple of times i return to to my questions into

times i return to to my questions into

times i return to to my questions into my method and and i do everything

my method and and i do everything

my method and and i do everything possible in order to to alter this

possible in order to to alter this

possible in order to to alter this experience to change it because i’m not

experience to change it because i’m not

experience to change it because i’m not blaming everybody else anymore I’m

blaming everybody else anymore I’m

blaming everybody else anymore I’m trying to understand what my

trying to understand what my

trying to understand what my contribution is in the situation I try

contribution is in the situation I try

contribution is in the situation I try to understand what my responsibilities

to understand what my responsibilities

to understand what my responsibilities and this is what we do English start

and this is what we do English start

and this is what we do English start coaching we identify the barriers

coaching we identify the barriers

coaching we identify the barriers defenses that create we create around

defenses that create we create around

defenses that create we create around ourselves because when we see what we

ourselves because when we see what we

ourselves because when we see what we are doing to ourselves then we have the

are doing to ourselves then we have the

are doing to ourselves then we have the possibility to go where we want to be if

possibility to go where we want to be if

possibility to go where we want to be if we stick our head in the sand then we

we stick our head in the sand then we

we stick our head in the sand then we don’t see the lesson we don’t see that

don’t see the lesson we don’t see that

don’t see the lesson we don’t see that path we don’t see the possibility and

path we don’t see the possibility and

path we don’t see the possibility and then we’re just stuck so freedom does

then we’re just stuck so freedom does

then we’re just stuck so freedom does not mean running away or hiding away

not mean running away or hiding away

not mean running away or hiding away freedom means getting real to ourselves

freedom means getting real to ourselves

freedom means getting real to ourselves so the only thing that we have to do and

so the only thing that we have to do and

so the only thing that we have to do and just stick this thought with you when

just stick this thought with you when

just stick this thought with you when you go home and make a decision about

you go home and make a decision about

you go home and make a decision about what you would like to think because

what you would like to think because

what you would like to think because thoughts create emotions it’s not the

thoughts create emotions it’s not the

thoughts create emotions it’s not the other way around what you believe is

other way around what you believe is

other way around what you believe is going to cause your emotions for

going to cause your emotions for

going to cause your emotions for instance if something good happens to me

instance if something good happens to me

instance if something good happens to me you you know I feel good if something

you you know I feel good if something

you you know I feel good if something bad happens to me I feel bad and this is

bad happens to me I feel bad and this is

bad happens to me I feel bad and this is the fastest and shortest way to become a

the fastest and shortest way to become a

the fastest and shortest way to become a puppet that life pushes around and

puppet that life pushes around and

puppet that life pushes around and because we believe in good and bad

because we believe in good and bad

because we believe in good and bad because we believe in right and wrong

because we believe in right and wrong

because we believe in right and wrong because we believe in it’s normal it’s

because we believe in it’s normal it’s

because we believe in it’s normal it’s not normal our emotions are going to

not normal our emotions are going to

not normal our emotions are going to follow and then there you go yeah a lot

follow and then there you go yeah a lot

follow and then there you go yeah a lot of pain so what do you do you force

of pain so what do you do you force

of pain so what do you do you force yourself into positive thinking you take

yourself into positive thinking you take

yourself into positive thinking you take drugs you drink alcohol and that will

drugs you drink alcohol and that will

drugs you drink alcohol and that will give you some temporary relief it will

give you some temporary relief it will

give you some temporary relief it will even give you motivation but it’s going

even give you motivation but it’s going

even give you motivation but it’s going to be on the only going to be so long

to be on the only going to be so long

to be on the only going to be so long until you fall back into the same

until you fall back into the same

until you fall back into the same behavior patterns that you’re so used to

the best thing and also always told me

the best thing and also always told me and I didn’t believe him but I had to

and I didn’t believe him but I had to

and I didn’t believe him but I had to realize that all the things that we love

realize that all the things that we love

realize that all the things that we love about ourselves the most and all the

about ourselves the most and all the

about ourselves the most and all the things that have served us the most so

things that have served us the most so

things that have served us the most so far they were all created in painful

far they were all created in painful

far they were all created in painful situations think about it when you go

situations think about it when you go

situations think about it when you go home seriously and you are going to

home seriously and you are going to

home seriously and you are going to realize what I’m talking about I believe

realize what I’m talking about I believe

realize what I’m talking about I believe the most liberating thing we can do is

the most liberating thing we can do is

the most liberating thing we can do is getting real to ourselves why because

getting real to ourselves why because

getting real to ourselves why because when we are real we give ourselves the

when we are real we give ourselves the

when we are real we give ourselves the opportunity to become who we were meant

opportunity to become who we were meant

opportunity to become who we were meant to become we are going to live life on

to become we are going to live life on

to become we are going to live life on our full potential and we can choose to

our full potential and we can choose to

our full potential and we can choose to live the life that we want to live so I

live the life that we want to live so I

live the life that we want to live so I went to Barcelona because I wanted to

went to Barcelona because I wanted to

went to Barcelona because I wanted to learn how to surf and i ended up surfing

learn how to surf and i ended up surfing

learn how to surf and i ended up surfing my emotions and you know what the reward

my emotions and you know what the reward

my emotions and you know what the reward for that was freedom thank you

for that was freedom thank you

for that was freedom thank you you