so there’s a simple question that’s completely changed the way I live my
completely changed the way I live my
completely changed the way I live my life are you here right now think about
life are you here right now think about
life are you here right now think about it are you really here because there’s a
it are you really here because there’s a
it are you really here because there’s a Harvard study that says for about half
Harvard study that says for about half
Harvard study that says for about half of you your body is in your seat but
of you your body is in your seat but
of you your body is in your seat but your mind is elsewhere maybe you’re
your mind is elsewhere maybe you’re
your mind is elsewhere maybe you’re thinking about all the things you need
thinking about all the things you need
thinking about all the things you need to do or what you’re going to have for
to do or what you’re going to have for
to do or what you’re going to have for lunch in other words your mind is
lunch in other words your mind is
lunch in other words your mind is probably wandering so is that a bad
probably wandering so is that a bad
probably wandering so is that a bad thing as a health psychologist I used to
thing as a health psychologist I used to
thing as a health psychologist I used to think it was but it turns out I was
think it was but it turns out I was
think it was but it turns out I was wrong mind wandering can be good it’s
wrong mind wandering can be good it’s
wrong mind wandering can be good it’s kind of like a mental time travel you
kind of like a mental time travel you
kind of like a mental time travel you get to imagine an unknown future or
get to imagine an unknown future or
get to imagine an unknown future or revisit old memories explore new ideas
revisit old memories explore new ideas
revisit old memories explore new ideas but sometimes our mind wandering can get
but sometimes our mind wandering can get
but sometimes our mind wandering can get a bit stuck I know for me I can think
a bit stuck I know for me I can think
a bit stuck I know for me I can think about the same thought over and over go
about the same thought over and over go
about the same thought over and over go on autopilot and zone out like when I
on autopilot and zone out like when I
on autopilot and zone out like when I Drive home from work and don’t remember
Drive home from work and don’t remember
Drive home from work and don’t remember how I got to my into my driveway has it
how I got to my into my driveway has it
how I got to my into my driveway has it ever happened to you yeah I’m from LA
ever happened to you yeah I’m from LA
ever happened to you yeah I’m from LA and we think about driving a lot the
and we think about driving a lot the
and we think about driving a lot the last time I was at a concert instead of
last time I was at a concert instead of
last time I was at a concert instead of listening to the music I spent half the
listening to the music I spent half the
listening to the music I spent half the show thinking about how I was going to
show thinking about how I was going to
show thinking about how I was going to get out of the parking lot my body was
get out of the parking lot my body was
get out of the parking lot my body was in the seat but my mind was already out
in the seat but my mind was already out
in the seat but my mind was already out the door and you see that’s the thing
the door and you see that’s the thing
the door and you see that’s the thing when our minds are habitually elsewhere
when our minds are habitually elsewhere
when our minds are habitually elsewhere lost in thought we stopped noticing and
lost in thought we stopped noticing and
lost in thought we stopped noticing and I’ve come to believe that being able to
I’ve come to believe that being able to
I’ve come to believe that being able to see the life that is right in front of
see the life that is right in front of
see the life that is right in front of us can change the way that we live it
us can change the way that we live it
us can change the way that we live it artists Georgia O’Keefe was so convinced
artists Georgia O’Keefe was so convinced
artists Georgia O’Keefe was so convinced that people had lost the ability to see
that people had lost the ability to see
that people had lost the ability to see that she intentionally painted flowers
that she intentionally painted flowers
that she intentionally painted flowers that were giant
that were giant
that were giant sized just so people could notice what
sized just so people could notice what
sized just so people could notice what was right in front of them I became
was right in front of them I became
was right in front of them I became drawn to this idea of paying attention a
drawn to this idea of paying attention a
drawn to this idea of paying attention a few years before I lost my father mostly
few years before I lost my father mostly
few years before I lost my father mostly because I was so bad at it I mean how
because I was so bad at it I mean how
because I was so bad at it I mean how many moments had I missed living in my
many moments had I missed living in my
many moments had I missed living in my head lost in my thoughts thinking always
head lost in my thoughts thinking always
head lost in my thoughts thinking always about my future now when I was a kid I
about my future now when I was a kid I
about my future now when I was a kid I noticed everything the people walking
noticed everything the people walking
noticed everything the people walking down the street the birds and the trees
down the street the birds and the trees
down the street the birds and the trees the color of my soup
the color of my soup
the color of my soup wait a minute you might be thinking my
wait a minute you might be thinking my
wait a minute you might be thinking my life is very complicated so what does it
life is very complicated so what does it
life is very complicated so what does it matter if I don’t notice the color of my
matter if I don’t notice the color of my
matter if I don’t notice the color of my soup okay maybe it doesn’t matter but
soup okay maybe it doesn’t matter but
soup okay maybe it doesn’t matter but then again is it possible that paying
then again is it possible that paying
then again is it possible that paying attention is a mindset that can change
attention is a mindset that can change
attention is a mindset that can change the course of our lives because that’s
the course of our lives because that’s
the course of our lives because that’s what happened for Betty
what happened for Betty
what happened for Betty Nesmith Graham betty was a bank
Nesmith Graham betty was a bank
Nesmith Graham betty was a bank secretary in the early 1950s and mother
secretary in the early 1950s and mother
secretary in the early 1950s and mother too a little boy named Michael who as an
too a little boy named Michael who as an
too a little boy named Michael who as an aside would later grow up to become a
aside would later grow up to become a
aside would later grow up to become a member of the singing group The Monkees
member of the singing group The Monkees
member of the singing group The Monkees but back then betty was a single mother
but back then betty was a single mother
but back then betty was a single mother and she was struggling and at the bank
and she was struggling and at the bank
and she was struggling and at the bank they had just switched from the old
they had just switched from the old
they had just switched from the old manual typewriters to the new electric
manual typewriters to the new electric
manual typewriters to the new electric kind that don’t allow you to erase
kind that don’t allow you to erase
kind that don’t allow you to erase without smearing the whole paper so
without smearing the whole paper so
without smearing the whole paper so every time Betty made a mistake
every time Betty made a mistake
every time Betty made a mistake she had to start all over again so one
she had to start all over again so one
she had to start all over again so one day betty was watching the artists as
day betty was watching the artists as
day betty was watching the artists as they were painting the bank windows for
they were painting the bank windows for
they were painting the bank windows for the holidays and she noticed something
the holidays and she noticed something
the holidays and she noticed something when the artist made a mistake it is
when the artist made a mistake it is
when the artist made a mistake it is start over they just covered it up with
start over they just covered it up with
start over they just covered it up with another layer of paint so she brought a
another layer of paint so she brought a
another layer of paint so she brought a small jar of white paint to work and
small jar of white paint to work and
small jar of white paint to work and when she made a typo she just covered it
when she made a typo she just covered it
when she made a typo she just covered it up with a little layer paint and it
up with a little layer paint and it
up with a little layer paint and it worked like a charm that idea led to
worked like a charm that idea led to
worked like a charm that idea led to mistake out later renamed liquid paper
mistake out later renamed liquid paper
mistake out later renamed liquid paper and sold to the Gillette Corporation for
and sold to the Gillette Corporation for
and sold to the Gillette Corporation for 47 million dollars
47 million dollars
47 million dollars Betty paid
Betty paid
Betty paid attention and that mindset led not only
attention and that mindset led not only
attention and that mindset led not only to a successful company but to a
to a successful company but to a
to a successful company but to a foundation to help women in need as she
foundation to help women in need as she
foundation to help women in need as she once was I was so inspired when I read
once was I was so inspired when I read
once was I was so inspired when I read about Betty story because despite the
about Betty story because despite the
about Betty story because despite the many challenges that she faced she never
many challenges that she faced she never
many challenges that she faced she never lost sight of the life that was right in
lost sight of the life that was right in
lost sight of the life that was right in front of her but is it possible to pay
front of her but is it possible to pay
front of her but is it possible to pay attention and still not really see
attention and still not really see
attention and still not really see that’s what Richard Wiseman wanted to
that’s what Richard Wiseman wanted to
that’s what Richard Wiseman wanted to know he was a professional magician who
know he was a professional magician who
know he was a professional magician who later became a psychologist and he
later became a psychologist and he
later became a psychologist and he wondered why do some people describe
wondered why do some people describe
wondered why do some people describe themselves as lucky and some unlucky he
themselves as lucky and some unlucky he
themselves as lucky and some unlucky he had a hunch so what he did is he asked
had a hunch so what he did is he asked
had a hunch so what he did is he asked people to look at a newspaper and count
people to look at a newspaper and count
people to look at a newspaper and count all of the photographs inside those
all of the photographs inside those
all of the photographs inside those people who describe themselves as
people who describe themselves as
people who describe themselves as unlucky took about two minutes to do it
unlucky took about two minutes to do it
unlucky took about two minutes to do it the ones who describe themselves as
the ones who describe themselves as
the ones who describe themselves as lucky did it in just a couple seconds so
lucky did it in just a couple seconds so
lucky did it in just a couple seconds so why were they so much faster
why were they so much faster
why were they so much faster were they smarter did they have some
were they smarter did they have some
were they smarter did they have some kind of a system well it turns out that
kind of a system well it turns out that
kind of a system well it turns out that on the second page of the newspaper
on the second page of the newspaper
on the second page of the newspaper Wiseman placed a very large message that
Wiseman placed a very large message that
Wiseman placed a very large message that read stop counting there are 43
read stop counting there are 43
read stop counting there are 43 photographs in this newspaper so the
photographs in this newspaper so the
photographs in this newspaper so the lucky people stopped so how come the
lucky people stopped so how come the
lucky people stopped so how come the unlucky people didn’t see a message that
unlucky people didn’t see a message that
unlucky people didn’t see a message that was so large because their attention was
was so large because their attention was
was so large because their attention was so limited to finding photographs that
so limited to finding photographs that
so limited to finding photographs that they didn’t see what was right in front
they didn’t see what was right in front
they didn’t see what was right in front of them the answer how many times do we
of them the answer how many times do we
of them the answer how many times do we do that we’re so intent on finding that
do that we’re so intent on finding that
do that we’re so intent on finding that one thing the perfect job the perfect
one thing the perfect job the perfect
one thing the perfect job the perfect situation so we don’t see all the
situation so we don’t see all the
situation so we don’t see all the possibilities in our lives but lucky
possibilities in our lives but lucky
possibilities in our lives but lucky people pay attention so they notice the
people pay attention so they notice the
people pay attention so they notice the possibilities and that leads to good
possibilities and that leads to good
possibilities and that leads to good luck
if paying attention can create more
if paying attention can create more possibilities in our lives
possibilities in our lives
possibilities in our lives maybe it would be helpful if we develop
maybe it would be helpful if we develop
maybe it would be helpful if we develop this mindset of paying attention as a
this mindset of paying attention as a
this mindset of paying attention as a matter of fact let’s give it a try right
matter of fact let’s give it a try right
matter of fact let’s give it a try right now I’d like all of you to look around
now I’d like all of you to look around
now I’d like all of you to look around the room and silently name all of the
the room and silently name all of the
the room and silently name all of the colors that you see and now notice all
colors that you see and now notice all
colors that you see and now notice all of the shapes that surround you become
of the shapes that surround you become
of the shapes that surround you become aware of the feeling of your back
aware of the feeling of your back
aware of the feeling of your back against the chair and notice where your
against the chair and notice where your
against the chair and notice where your hands are placed this is what paying
hands are placed this is what paying
hands are placed this is what paying attention looks like when I first
attention looks like when I first
attention looks like when I first started to develop this mindset of
started to develop this mindset of
started to develop this mindset of paying attention I notice that I became
paying attention I notice that I became
paying attention I notice that I became surprised I notice surprising change in
surprised I notice surprising change in
surprised I notice surprising change in me I started to see things that were
me I started to see things that were
me I started to see things that were always there that I just had simply
always there that I just had simply
always there that I just had simply overlooked like the sweetness of a
overlooked like the sweetness of a
overlooked like the sweetness of a strawberry or a body that moves or the
strawberry or a body that moves or the
strawberry or a body that moves or the beauty that was all around me and I
beauty that was all around me and I
beauty that was all around me and I found myself becoming unexpectedly
found myself becoming unexpectedly
found myself becoming unexpectedly happier and then I wondered if paying
happier and then I wondered if paying
happier and then I wondered if paying attention can change the way we see our
attention can change the way we see our
attention can change the way we see our lives can it change the way we see each
lives can it change the way we see each
lives can it change the way we see each other Ellen Langer wondered this too
other Ellen Langer wondered this too
other Ellen Langer wondered this too she’s a social psychologist and she
she’s a social psychologist and she
she’s a social psychologist and she asked people to look through a one-way
asked people to look through a one-way
asked people to look through a one-way mirror
mirror
mirror at strangers and really pay attention to
at strangers and really pay attention to
at strangers and really pay attention to them what qualities might they have what
them what qualities might they have what
them what qualities might they have what would it be like to talk to them to work
would it be like to talk to them to work
would it be like to talk to them to work with them and when the people finally
with them and when the people finally
with them and when the people finally met the strangers the ones who really
met the strangers the ones who really
met the strangers the ones who really paid attention to them liked them more
paid attention to them liked them more
paid attention to them liked them more than the people who hadn’t paid
than the people who hadn’t paid
than the people who hadn’t paid attention and Langer concluded that
attention and Langer concluded that
attention and Langer concluded that taking notice of things expands our
taking notice of things expands our
taking notice of things expands our appreciation for them and can
appreciation for them and can
appreciation for them and can appreciation lead to caring to kindness
appreciation lead to caring to kindness
appreciation lead to caring to kindness to empathy what would our world be like
to empathy what would our world be like
to empathy what would our world be like if we cared about each other more simply
if we cared about each other more simply
if we cared about each other more simply because we paid attention for me my real
because we paid attention for me my real
because we paid attention for me my real lesson in paying attention came from
lesson in paying attention came from
lesson in paying attention came from watching my father battle his many
watching my father battle his many
watching my father battle his many chronic illnesses like heart disease and
chronic illnesses like heart disease and
chronic illnesses like heart disease and cancer his conditions were serious and
cancer his conditions were serious and
cancer his conditions were serious and there was always a question in my mind
there was always a question in my mind
there was always a question in my mind of how long we would have him in our
of how long we would have him in our
of how long we would have him in our lives would he be here to see me
lives would he be here to see me
lives would he be here to see me graduate to have a baby my mind often
graduate to have a baby my mind often
graduate to have a baby my mind often wandered to this unknown future with a
wandered to this unknown future with a
wandered to this unknown future with a sad ending but then I realized but by
sad ending but then I realized but by
sad ending but then I realized but by allowing myself to drift to an imaginary
allowing myself to drift to an imaginary
allowing myself to drift to an imaginary place I was missing the life that was
place I was missing the life that was
place I was missing the life that was right in front of me my father was here
right in front of me my father was here
right in front of me my father was here now with me and seeing this moment was a
now with me and seeing this moment was a
now with me and seeing this moment was a way to honor him and I came to
way to honor him and I came to
way to honor him and I came to understand that each and every moment in
understand that each and every moment in
understand that each and every moment in our lives is worthy of being honored and
our lives is worthy of being honored and
our lives is worthy of being honored and noticed and paid attention to what
noticed and paid attention to what
noticed and paid attention to what possibilities could paying attention
possibilities could paying attention
possibilities could paying attention reveal for each of us for our families
reveal for each of us for our families
reveal for each of us for our families for our communities picture a world
for our communities picture a world
for our communities picture a world where we could really see not only our
where we could really see not only our
where we could really see not only our own lives but each other would it change
own lives but each other would it change
own lives but each other would it change the way we treat each other could it
the way we treat each other could it
the way we treat each other could it lead to more compassion even peace could
lead to more compassion even peace could
lead to more compassion even peace could pay attention change the world to see
pay attention change the world to see
pay attention change the world to see and be seen
and be seen
and be seen isn’t that one
isn’t that one
isn’t that one the greatest gifts in life and it all
the greatest gifts in life and it all
the greatest gifts in life and it all starts with each one of us and one
starts with each one of us and one
starts with each one of us and one simple question are you here right now
thank you
thank you [Applause]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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