yes hello everyone my name is nao and indeed it is a very special honor to
and indeed it is a very special honor to
and indeed it is a very special honor to be back in the sacred halls of the WSU
be back in the sacred halls of the WSU
be back in the sacred halls of the WSU because I did spend many years here and
because I did spend many years here and
because I did spend many years here and I graduated in 2006 and went to London
I graduated in 2006 and went to London
I graduated in 2006 and went to London to be an investment banker and today I’m
to be an investment banker and today I’m
to be an investment banker and today I’m a professional DJ what the hell happened
a professional DJ what the hell happened
a professional DJ what the hell happened so just to give you an example of the
so just to give you an example of the
so just to give you an example of the difference so I would like to take you
difference so I would like to take you
difference so I would like to take you through my last ten years of the journey
through my last ten years of the journey
through my last ten years of the journey and more importantly I want to talk
and more importantly I want to talk
and more importantly I want to talk about the factors actually that led to
about the factors actually that led to
about the factors actually that led to such a crucial change not only career
such a crucial change not only career
such a crucial change not only career but obviously in lifestyle because many
but obviously in lifestyle because many
but obviously in lifestyle because many people when they hear about the top line
people when they hear about the top line
people when they hear about the top line of the story from banker to DJ they they
of the story from banker to DJ they they
of the story from banker to DJ they they immediately say oh my god that’s so
immediately say oh my god that’s so
immediately say oh my god that’s so courageous of you you know you you left
courageous of you you know you you left
courageous of you you know you you left the corporate world and do your own
the corporate world and do your own
the corporate world and do your own thing and follow your dreams but to be
thing and follow your dreams but to be
thing and follow your dreams but to be honest that’s the only part of the story
honest that’s the only part of the story
honest that’s the only part of the story and actually it’s not the story at all
and actually it’s not the story at all
and actually it’s not the story at all because I don’t think it was courage at
because I don’t think it was courage at
because I don’t think it was courage at all because I want to show that it was a
all because I want to show that it was a
all because I want to show that it was a lot more subtle factors at work and it
lot more subtle factors at work and it
lot more subtle factors at work and it was more like let’s call it a correction
was more like let’s call it a correction
was more like let’s call it a correction on my path towards self-realization but
on my path towards self-realization but
on my path towards self-realization but I’m going to talk more about that so
I’m going to talk more about that so
I’m going to talk more about that so let’s let’s begin so I want to basically
let’s let’s begin so I want to basically
let’s let’s begin so I want to basically walk you through my journey so I brought
walk you through my journey so I brought
walk you through my journey so I brought a few things so I want to put this as my
a few things so I want to put this as my
a few things so I want to put this as my that’s my DJ cornerstone and this is my
that’s my DJ cornerstone and this is my
that’s my DJ cornerstone and this is my investment-banking
investment-banking
investment-banking come honest and with a few guys and
come honest and with a few guys and
come honest and with a few guys and actually I want to sail you through my
actually I want to sail you through my
actually I want to sail you through my journey and not walk through my journey
journey and not walk through my journey
journey and not walk through my journey because as you might have seen I liked
because as you might have seen I liked
because as you might have seen I liked the idea the whole framework of my talk
the idea the whole framework of my talk
the idea the whole framework of my talk is the inner compass so I believe that
is the inner compass so I believe that
is the inner compass so I believe that somehow we have
somehow we have
somehow we have something within us that will lead us
something within us that will lead us
something within us that will lead us towards fulfilling our potential but
towards fulfilling our potential but
towards fulfilling our potential but what do I mean my potential well it’s a
what do I mean my potential well it’s a
what do I mean my potential well it’s a bit of an abstract concept but I believe
bit of an abstract concept but I believe
bit of an abstract concept but I believe it’s a mixture of our capabilities and
it’s a mixture of our capabilities and
it’s a mixture of our capabilities and skills our interests and our needs and
skills our interests and our needs and
skills our interests and our needs and there’s a line in psychology that
there’s a line in psychology that
there’s a line in psychology that suggests that an individual will always
suggests that an individual will always
suggests that an individual will always follow a path towards fulfilling their
follow a path towards fulfilling their
follow a path towards fulfilling their potential if the circumstances are
potential if the circumstances are
potential if the circumstances are supportive but however if there’s any
supportive but however if there’s any
supportive but however if there’s any factors hindering them from doing so it
factors hindering them from doing so it
factors hindering them from doing so it can lead to inner conflict so I want to
can lead to inner conflict so I want to
can lead to inner conflict so I want to I want to take this as an idea for my
I want to take this as an idea for my
I want to take this as an idea for my story okay right let’s start so here I
story okay right let’s start so here I
story okay right let’s start so here I am I want to start here Here I am at the
am I want to start here Here I am at the
am I want to start here Here I am at the end of school so I was 18 years old and
end of school so I was 18 years old and
end of school so I was 18 years old and I knew I wanted to study business
I knew I wanted to study business
I knew I wanted to study business because I was quite analytically minded
because I was quite analytically minded
because I was quite analytically minded I liked structure deficiency and I
I liked structure deficiency and I
I liked structure deficiency and I wanted to apply that in real-life
wanted to apply that in real-life
wanted to apply that in real-life situations so also I had always been
situations so also I had always been
situations so also I had always been quite good at school and in my youth I
quite good at school and in my youth I
quite good at school and in my youth I played three different types of sports
played three different types of sports
played three different types of sports or single sports no team sports and in
or single sports no team sports and in
or single sports no team sports and in all of them I ran in competitions so
all of them I ran in competitions so
all of them I ran in competitions so very early on I had internalized a
very early on I had internalized a
very early on I had internalized a liking for competitiveness for
liking for competitiveness for
liking for competitiveness for performance and a belief that I could
performance and a belief that I could
performance and a belief that I could gain validation through achievement so
gain validation through achievement so
gain validation through achievement so no wonder then when I heard about this
no wonder then when I heard about this
no wonder then when I heard about this university I was like alright then so I
university I was like alright then so I
university I was like alright then so I applied only to this University and then
applied only to this University and then
applied only to this University and then you know did that mission test got
you know did that mission test got
you know did that mission test got accepted and started studying so there I
accepted and started studying so there I
accepted and started studying so there I was on the way and naturally this kind
was on the way and naturally this kind
was on the way and naturally this kind of highly achievement and performance
of highly achievement and performance
of highly achievement and performance driven environment kept on feeding into
driven environment kept on feeding into
driven environment kept on feeding into into that focus on achievement in
into that focus on achievement in
into that focus on achievement in hindsight I realized that I’ve been
hindsight I realized that I’ve been
hindsight I realized that I’ve been motivated by you know my own projected
motivated by you know my own projected
motivated by you know my own projected image of a competent and successful
image of a competent and successful
image of a competent and successful businesswoman so that was what I was
businesswoman so that was what I was
businesswoman so that was what I was following so I specialized in finance
following so I specialized in finance
following so I specialized in finance and then a year before graduation I went
and then a year before graduation I went
and then a year before graduation I went to London to do an internship with
to London to do an internship with
to London to do an internship with Merrill Lynch and I pretty much enjoyed
Merrill Lynch and I pretty much enjoyed
Merrill Lynch and I pretty much enjoyed it well in hindsight I’m not quite sure
it well in hindsight I’m not quite sure
it well in hindsight I’m not quite sure whether it was the work the job or
whether it was the work the job or
whether it was the work the job or London that I enjoyed more but anyway
London that I enjoyed more but anyway
London that I enjoyed more but anyway when they make me a job offer for the
when they make me a job offer for the
when they make me a job offer for the year after
year after
year after I happily accepted so I went back to uni
I happily accepted so I went back to uni
I happily accepted so I went back to uni for my last year and I danced my way
for my last year and I danced my way
for my last year and I danced my way through school because I was like yeah I
through school because I was like yeah I
through school because I was like yeah I landed a great job and I was proud and
landed a great job and I was proud and
landed a great job and I was proud and happy and elated and you know did the
happy and elated and you know did the
happy and elated and you know did the bare minimum to get my degree and I’m
bare minimum to get my degree and I’m
bare minimum to get my degree and I’m sure professor Rudolph who actually
sure professor Rudolph who actually
sure professor Rudolph who actually wrote my lab final thesis with I think
wrote my lab final thesis with I think
wrote my lab final thesis with I think he can attest that how terrible my final
he can attest that how terrible my final
he can attest that how terrible my final thesis was but anyway so there I was I
thesis was but anyway so there I was I
thesis was but anyway so there I was I handed in my thesis the day after I flew
handed in my thesis the day after I flew
handed in my thesis the day after I flew to New York for investment banking
to New York for investment banking
to New York for investment banking training and you know I had the time of
training and you know I had the time of
training and you know I had the time of my life and then I moved to London to
my life and then I moved to London to
my life and then I moved to London to start working so so far so good I had
start working so so far so good I had
start working so so far so good I had achieved the first cornerstone of being
achieved the first cornerstone of being
achieved the first cornerstone of being that competent and successful
that competent and successful
that competent and successful businesswoman
businesswoman
businesswoman I had achieved validation through
I had achieved validation through
I had achieved validation through achievement I was 22 years old I worked
achievement I was 22 years old I worked
achievement I was 22 years old I worked for one of the most well known
for one of the most well known
for one of the most well known investment banks at the time at least
investment banks at the time at least
investment banks at the time at least and I earned my yearly starting salary
and I earned my yearly starting salary
and I earned my yearly starting salary was close to a hundred thousand euros so
was close to a hundred thousand euros so
was close to a hundred thousand euros so I was proud my parents were proud so
I was proud my parents were proud so
I was proud my parents were proud so what the hell happened then so let me
what the hell happened then so let me
what the hell happened then so let me give you more context about London so I
give you more context about London so I
give you more context about London so I moved to London and I moved into a
moved to London and I moved into a
moved to London and I moved into a six-bedroom place with you know six
six-bedroom place with you know six
six-bedroom place with you know six other young people who were all not
other young people who were all not
other young people who were all not bankers so they were all just normally
bankers so they were all just normally
bankers so they were all just normally young people doing some jobs and you
young people doing some jobs and you
young people doing some jobs and you know doing enjoying life in the meantime
know doing enjoying life in the meantime
know doing enjoying life in the meantime and also a tiny it seems like a tiny
and also a tiny it seems like a tiny
and also a tiny it seems like a tiny factor but actually I think it was
factor but actually I think it was
factor but actually I think it was pretty big was that I had negotiated one
pretty big was that I had negotiated one
pretty big was that I had negotiated one month off with my team so I didn’t start
month off with my team so I didn’t start
month off with my team so I didn’t start working straight away but I had one
working straight away but I had one
working straight away but I had one month off in London fully paid which was
month off in London fully paid which was
month off in London fully paid which was great and so basically I immersed myself
great and so basically I immersed myself
great and so basically I immersed myself into into London and so I went out a lot
into into London and so I went out a lot
into into London and so I went out a lot I watched lots of live bands and I was
I watched lots of live bands and I was
I watched lots of live bands and I was really soaking up that live that
really soaking up that live that
really soaking up that live that exciting life and it felt like I was
exciting life and it felt like I was
exciting life and it felt like I was kind of you know catching up on
kind of you know catching up on
kind of you know catching up on everything that I that I haven’t had in
everything that I that I haven’t had in
everything that I that I haven’t had in my performance focus student years so
my performance focus student years so
my performance focus student years so then when I then started working after a
then when I then started working after a
then when I then started working after a month it was like I had kind of two
month it was like I had kind of two
month it was like I had kind of two personas it felt like you know during
personas it felt like you know during
personas it felt like you know during the day I was the investment banker and
the day I was the investment banker and
the day I was the investment banker and doing all other times I was that
doing all other times I was that
doing all other times I was that you know experience seeking fun-loving
you know experience seeking fun-loving
you know experience seeking fun-loving rock chick and but I was determined to
rock chick and but I was determined to
rock chick and but I was determined to be able to combine those two it actually
be able to combine those two it actually
be able to combine those two it actually gave me a lot of strength to know I had
gave me a lot of strength to know I had
gave me a lot of strength to know I had two personas and I was like yeah I’m
two personas and I was like yeah I’m
two personas and I was like yeah I’m gonna do this well if you go you know as
gonna do this well if you go you know as
gonna do this well if you go you know as you can imagine that didn’t quite work
you can imagine that didn’t quite work
you can imagine that didn’t quite work out so you know working 12 hours a day
out so you know working 12 hours a day
out so you know working 12 hours a day alone actually takes a lot out of you so
alone actually takes a lot out of you so
alone actually takes a lot out of you so you know I got more and more physically
you know I got more and more physically
you know I got more and more physically exhausted at first so lack of sleep
exhausted at first so lack of sleep
exhausted at first so lack of sleep exhaustion and you know and I felt more
exhaustion and you know and I felt more
exhaustion and you know and I felt more and more suffocated and during the day
and more suffocated and during the day
and more suffocated and during the day so at work I was getting more and more
so at work I was getting more and more
so at work I was getting more and more lethargic and unmotivated and I couldn’t
lethargic and unmotivated and I couldn’t
lethargic and unmotivated and I couldn’t wait the day was over so I could do all
wait the day was over so I could do all
wait the day was over so I could do all these other things that you know I
these other things that you know I
these other things that you know I wanted to be doing and to live that life
wanted to be doing and to live that life
wanted to be doing and to live that life that I had just about discovered for
that I had just about discovered for
that I had just about discovered for myself so that inner conflict between my
myself so that inner conflict between my
myself so that inner conflict between my two personas grow grew stronger and
two personas grow grew stronger and
two personas grow grew stronger and stronger and I felt so suffocated and
stronger and I felt so suffocated and
stronger and I felt so suffocated and also my my private persona started
also my my private persona started
also my my private persona started infiltrating my professional one so I
infiltrating my professional one so I
infiltrating my professional one so I think I stretched the dress code at the
think I stretched the dress code at the
think I stretched the dress code at the bank as far as I could and in my breaks
bank as far as I could and in my breaks
bank as far as I could and in my breaks I was smoking roll up cigarettes so I
I was smoking roll up cigarettes so I
I was smoking roll up cigarettes so I was kind of becoming this a rebel and
was kind of becoming this a rebel and
was kind of becoming this a rebel and after a while I realized it just it got
after a while I realized it just it got
after a while I realized it just it got so bad so did this inner conflict I knew
so bad so did this inner conflict I knew
so bad so did this inner conflict I knew I was wrong I had to get out and I knew
I was wrong I had to get out and I knew
I was wrong I had to get out and I knew it wasn’t just a decision about the
it wasn’t just a decision about the
it wasn’t just a decision about the career I knew it was a decision about
career I knew it was a decision about
career I knew it was a decision about how I wanted to live my life so after
how I wanted to live my life so after
how I wanted to live my life so after six months of banking here I quit so let
six months of banking here I quit so let
six months of banking here I quit so let me symbolize that by taking my jacket
me symbolize that by taking my jacket
me symbolize that by taking my jacket off
off
off so this is my investment-banking jacket
so this is my investment-banking jacket
so this is my investment-banking jacket right so what happened then I had no
right so what happened then I had no
right so what happened then I had no idea what to do next I mean I had no
idea what to do next I mean I had no
idea what to do next I mean I had no goal I had no further go I had all these
goal I had no further go I had all these
goal I had no further go I had all these years I had set my sales straight to
years I had set my sales straight to
years I had set my sales straight to here and suddenly I was like I don’t
here and suddenly I was like I don’t
here and suddenly I was like I don’t know I had no idea but this is what I
know I had no idea but this is what I
know I had no idea but this is what I think this is pretty crucial because
think this is pretty crucial because
think this is pretty crucial because metaphorically I took my sales down and
metaphorically I took my sales down and
metaphorically I took my sales down and just started drifting on the waves of
just started drifting on the waves of
just started drifting on the waves of life
life
life and I think this is unconsciously of
and I think this is unconsciously of
and I think this is unconsciously of course this is when my inner compass
course this is when my inner compass
course this is when my inner compass actually started being able to work and
actually started being able to work and
actually started being able to work and to guide me so this is so the black
to guide me so this is so the black
to guide me so this is so the black compass was meant to be the one that was
compass was meant to be the one that was
compass was meant to be the one that was really you know the conscious decision
really you know the conscious decision
really you know the conscious decision to be in amazement banker and now the
to be in amazement banker and now the
to be in amazement banker and now the red compass is kind of guiding me into
red compass is kind of guiding me into
red compass is kind of guiding me into another direction so what happened well
another direction so what happened well
another direction so what happened well there’s 10 years between here and there
there’s 10 years between here and there
there’s 10 years between here and there so I got to kind of summarize the
so I got to kind of summarize the
so I got to kind of summarize the important part basically professionally
important part basically professionally
important part basically professionally you could say it was a disaster so I was
you could say it was a disaster so I was
you could say it was a disaster so I was working in lots of freelance part-time
working in lots of freelance part-time
working in lots of freelance part-time jobs I was working in PR advertising
jobs I was working in PR advertising
jobs I was working in PR advertising marketing admin I was working in cafes
marketing admin I was working in cafes
marketing admin I was working in cafes and at one point I worked at Topshop of
and at one point I worked at Topshop of
and at one point I worked at Topshop of clothing retail store on Oxford Circus
clothing retail store on Oxford Circus
clothing retail store on Oxford Circus for six pounds an hour but it didn’t
for six pounds an hour but it didn’t
for six pounds an hour but it didn’t matter because on the other hand on the
matter because on the other hand on the
matter because on the other hand on the private side of things other things
private side of things other things
private side of things other things happen so to start with one turning
happen so to start with one turning
happen so to start with one turning point was pretty much still when I was a
point was pretty much still when I was a
point was pretty much still when I was a banker but I was you know I was at a
banker but I was you know I was at a
banker but I was you know I was at a live concert and as I you know watch
live concert and as I you know watch
live concert and as I you know watch quite a lot of good live gigs and then
quite a lot of good live gigs and then
quite a lot of good live gigs and then one night I realized that I was always
one night I realized that I was always
one night I realized that I was always watching the drummer and total
watching the drummer and total
watching the drummer and total fascination and then I was like I had a
fascination and then I was like I had a
fascination and then I was like I had a lightbulb moment I was like I’m gonna
lightbulb moment I was like I’m gonna
lightbulb moment I was like I’m gonna learn the drums and so I did I bought
learn the drums and so I did I bought
learn the drums and so I did I bought myself a drum kit and started taught
myself a drum kit and started taught
myself a drum kit and started taught myself drumming and it was so it was so
myself drumming and it was so it was so
myself drumming and it was so it was so easy it was so like natural I learned so
easy it was so like natural I learned so
easy it was so like natural I learned so quickly my brain was soaking it up it
quickly my brain was soaking it up it
quickly my brain was soaking it up it was literally like as if something came
was literally like as if something came
was literally like as if something came out that was already there it was really
out that was already there it was really
out that was already there it was really crazy
crazy
crazy so I started drumming and at the exact
so I started drumming and at the exact
so I started drumming and at the exact same time I met again fait compass
same time I met again fait compass
same time I met again fait compass whatever I met a guy a lovely guy at a
whatever I met a guy a lovely guy at a
whatever I met a guy a lovely guy at a pub and he played in a band and he was
pub and he played in a band and he was
pub and he played in a band and he was like well our drama is about to quit do
like well our drama is about to quit do
like well our drama is about to quit do you not want to maybe step in and I was
you not want to maybe step in and I was
you not want to maybe step in and I was like I was I was terrified
like I was I was terrified
like I was I was terrified but I was like hell yeah my got to step
but I was like hell yeah my got to step
but I was like hell yeah my got to step in so after about three months of
in so after about three months of
in so after about three months of drumming I think I played my first gig
drumming I think I played my first gig
drumming I think I played my first gig in a band so great and I mean that band
in a band so great and I mean that band
in a band so great and I mean that band didn’t ask very long but this lovely guy
didn’t ask very long but this lovely guy
didn’t ask very long but this lovely guy and me we founded our own band and that
and me we founded our own band and that
and me we founded our own band and that was to become our baby for quite a few
was to become our baby for quite a few
was to become our baby for quite a few years
years
years so that band was called road caption
so that band was called road caption
so that band was called road caption which is German for Little Red Riding
which is German for Little Red Riding
which is German for Little Red Riding Hood and well in London no one could
Hood and well in London no one could
Hood and well in London no one could pronounce or even write our name on any
pronounce or even write our name on any
pronounce or even write our name on any bloody flyer but anyway so we did life
bloody flyer but anyway so we did life
bloody flyer but anyway so we did life electronic music so during that time you
electronic music so during that time you
electronic music so during that time you know we we were so passionate about it
know we we were so passionate about it
know we we were so passionate about it and I also discovered London clubs and
and I also discovered London clubs and
and I also discovered London clubs and electronic music and we spent every
electronic music and we spent every
electronic music and we spent every single minute of our time to create new
single minute of our time to create new
single minute of our time to create new music to learn the technology the
music to learn the technology the
music to learn the technology the software the equipment and everything
software the equipment and everything
software the equipment and everything went to lots of gigs and it was just
went to lots of gigs and it was just
went to lots of gigs and it was just really really passionate inspiring time
really really passionate inspiring time
really really passionate inspiring time and so you know we played in that band
and so you know we played in that band
and so you know we played in that band for many years and it became a hobby I
for many years and it became a hobby I
for many years and it became a hobby I mean at first you play for free for like
mean at first you play for free for like
mean at first you play for free for like two years and then you get maybe 10
two years and then you get maybe 10
two years and then you get maybe 10 pounds and then and then you build up
pounds and then and then you build up
pounds and then and then you build up from there
from there
from there and then at some point we reached a
and then at some point we reached a
and then at some point we reached a point that was fairly professional and
point that was fairly professional and
point that was fairly professional and well I gave it my all I said this was
well I gave it my all I said this was
well I gave it my all I said this was this was my focus this is why I didn’t
this was my focus this is why I didn’t
this was my focus this is why I didn’t matter you know play we were working in
matter you know play we were working in
matter you know play we were working in Topshop you know because I had add the
Topshop you know because I had add the
Topshop you know because I had add the music but at some point somehow we
music but at some point somehow we
music but at some point somehow we didn’t quite make it enough to live of
didn’t quite make it enough to live of
didn’t quite make it enough to live of it so at some point the band ran out of
it so at some point the band ran out of
it so at some point the band ran out of steam and I ran out of money because I
steam and I ran out of money because I
steam and I ran out of money because I still had set all these times you know
still had set all these times you know
still had set all these times you know only five six years I still had savings
only five six years I still had savings
only five six years I still had savings from from these six months of investment
from from these six months of investment
from from these six months of investment making so I mean you know obviously I
making so I mean you know obviously I
making so I mean you know obviously I was very very diligently I was really
was very very diligently I was really
was very very diligently I was really afraid of kind of tucking into it but it
afraid of kind of tucking into it but it
afraid of kind of tucking into it but it was always a little reserved in the back
was always a little reserved in the back
was always a little reserved in the back and it was kind of eaten away very very
and it was kind of eaten away very very
and it was kind of eaten away very very slowly like you know maybe a few hundred
slowly like you know maybe a few hundred
slowly like you know maybe a few hundred pounds each month but at some point
pounds each month but at some point
pounds each month but at some point after five years it was gone so I was
after five years it was gone so I was
after five years it was gone so I was like okay I’m gonna do now hey I need
like okay I’m gonna do now hey I need
like okay I’m gonna do now hey I need money okay so I tried myself at another
money okay so I tried myself at another
money okay so I tried myself at another couple of full-time jobs didn’t last
couple of full-time jobs didn’t last
couple of full-time jobs didn’t last very long and musically I was like okay
very long and musically I was like okay
very long and musically I was like okay ban does know more what am I gonna do
ban does know more what am I gonna do
ban does know more what am I gonna do I’m by myself
I’m by myself
I’m by myself okay well DJ great I’m gonna be a DJ and
okay well DJ great I’m gonna be a DJ and
okay well DJ great I’m gonna be a DJ and this is when a neo was born at the same
this is when a neo was born at the same
this is when a neo was born at the same time I started spending more and more
time I started spending more and more
time I started spending more and more time in Berlin so I did for two three
time in Berlin so I did for two three
time in Berlin so I did for two three years I did the Berlin London maybe like
years I did the Berlin London maybe like
years I did the Berlin London maybe like half half and Berlin was a whole new
half half and Berlin was a whole new
half half and Berlin was a whole new playground and I I went out
playground and I I went out
playground and I I went out I met lots of people and lots of
I met lots of people and lots of
I met lots of people and lots of contacts and also got my first DJ gigs
contacts and also got my first DJ gigs
contacts and also got my first DJ gigs and that’s great but that was really
and that’s great but that was really
and that’s great but that was really also I want to say that was a difficult
also I want to say that was a difficult
also I want to say that was a difficult time because it wasn’t all roses because
time because it wasn’t all roses because
time because it wasn’t all roses because at that time as I said I had no savings
at that time as I said I had no savings
at that time as I said I had no savings left and I really really struggled
left and I really really struggled
left and I really really struggled financially I had to do lots and lots of
financially I had to do lots and lots of
financially I had to do lots and lots of jobs on the side I struggled financially
jobs on the side I struggled financially
jobs on the side I struggled financially and sometimes didn’t know how to pay my
and sometimes didn’t know how to pay my
and sometimes didn’t know how to pay my rent I got into debt and it was really
rent I got into debt and it was really
rent I got into debt and it was really it was really really challenging however
it was really really challenging however
it was really really challenging however somehow I you know I stayed with it I
somehow I you know I stayed with it I
somehow I you know I stayed with it I went through and got more and more gigs
went through and got more and more gigs
went through and got more and more gigs and at some point about two years ago
and at some point about two years ago
and at some point about two years ago there came a turning point where I
there came a turning point where I
there came a turning point where I suddenly met started making enough money
suddenly met started making enough money
suddenly met started making enough money of teaching so that I could just not
of teaching so that I could just not
of teaching so that I could just not have to do any other job and stay here
have to do any other job and stay here
have to do any other job and stay here so I arrived somewhere so and I couldn’t
so I arrived somewhere so and I couldn’t
so I arrived somewhere so and I couldn’t believe it at first because all these
believe it at first because all these
believe it at first because all these years you know they were music was my
years you know they were music was my
years you know they were music was my focus but I had learned that it was
focus but I had learned that it was
focus but I had learned that it was always a struggle you know it was always
always a struggle you know it was always
always a struggle you know it was always just on the side I had to do other
just on the side I had to do other
just on the side I had to do other things and suddenly I couldn’t believe
things and suddenly I couldn’t believe
things and suddenly I couldn’t believe it that I get actually paid for
it that I get actually paid for
it that I get actually paid for something that doesn’t feel like work it
something that doesn’t feel like work it
something that doesn’t feel like work it actually feels like a privilege and
actually feels like a privilege and
actually feels like a privilege and someone actually choose to pay you for
someone actually choose to pay you for
someone actually choose to pay you for it
it
it I just care it was imagined go to your
I just care it was imagined go to your
I just care it was imagined go to your favorite club and all your friends are
favorite club and all your friends are
favorite club and all your friends are there and you have fun at your party and
there and you have fun at your party and
there and you have fun at your party and you play your own music and you get paid
you play your own music and you get paid
you play your own music and you get paid for it I mean that’s ours impossible and
for it I mean that’s ours impossible and
for it I mean that’s ours impossible and the most wonderful thing about it is
the most wonderful thing about it is
the most wonderful thing about it is that I have now reached a point of total
that I have now reached a point of total
that I have now reached a point of total congruence you know I was saying about
congruence you know I was saying about
congruence you know I was saying about this conflict which I had between the
this conflict which I had between the
this conflict which I had between the two personas but now basically I you
two personas but now basically I you
two personas but now basically I you know everything I do maybe
know everything I do maybe
know everything I do maybe professionally as a DJ or privately you
professionally as a DJ or privately you
professionally as a DJ or privately you know going out meeting people actually
know going out meeting people actually
know going out meeting people actually it there’s no difference anymore between
it there’s no difference anymore between
it there’s no difference anymore between professionally and privately so whatever
professionally and privately so whatever
professionally and privately so whatever I do going out meeting people you know
I do going out meeting people you know
I do going out meeting people you know partying DJing doing modeling jobs
partying DJing doing modeling jobs
partying DJing doing modeling jobs writing an article for a newspaper
writing an article for a newspaper
writing an article for a newspaper whatever whatever I do it all feeds back
whatever whatever I do it all feeds back
whatever whatever I do it all feeds back into each other and it’s one in the same
into each other and it’s one in the same
into each other and it’s one in the same person it’s all as all a neo and that is
person it’s all as all a neo and that is
person it’s all as all a neo and that is hugely hugely liberating
hugely hugely liberating
hugely hugely liberating whoo so I mean it would be consistent to
whoo so I mean it would be consistent to
whoo so I mean it would be consistent to take my trousers off now but I’m not
take my trousers off now but I’m not
take my trousers off now but I’m not going to do that so but I’m gonna put
going to do that so but I’m gonna put
going to do that so but I’m gonna put these on ah that feels good so now in my
these on ah that feels good so now in my
these on ah that feels good so now in my element again okay so the big question
element again okay so the big question
element again okay so the big question is why didn’t I so remember that was the
is why didn’t I so remember that was the
is why didn’t I so remember that was the end of school why didn’t I go straight
end of school why didn’t I go straight
end of school why didn’t I go straight to here why did I have to do all this
to here why did I have to do all this
to here why did I have to do all this detour that is a very good question
detour that is a very good question
detour that is a very good question because that is you know I I really had
because that is you know I I really had
because that is you know I I really had to reflect on that myself because as I
to reflect on that myself because as I
to reflect on that myself because as I said this these ten years were pretty
said this these ten years were pretty
said this these ten years were pretty much a very unconscious way I didn’t
much a very unconscious way I didn’t
much a very unconscious way I didn’t plan this so basically my explanation is
plan this so basically my explanation is
plan this so basically my explanation is this
this
this I now know now that I’m in tune with my
I now know now that I’m in tune with my
I now know now that I’m in tune with my internal compass I know that I have
internal compass I know that I have
internal compass I know that I have certain needs and certain personality
certain needs and certain personality
certain needs and certain personality traits which kind of the same thing so I
traits which kind of the same thing so I
traits which kind of the same thing so I have certain needs that are very very
have certain needs that are very very
have certain needs that are very very crucial to my well-being and I know now
crucial to my well-being and I know now
crucial to my well-being and I know now that when I look back on my ten years I
that when I look back on my ten years I
that when I look back on my ten years I realize now that they have been acting
realize now that they have been acting
realize now that they have been acting as unconscious driving forces let’s say
as unconscious driving forces let’s say
as unconscious driving forces let’s say like the motor to my boat without sail
like the motor to my boat without sail
like the motor to my boat without sail so basically these were the things that
so basically these were the things that
so basically these were the things that were driving me all along and I can
were driving me all along and I can
were driving me all along and I can identify them now and I want to tell you
identify them now and I want to tell you
identify them now and I want to tell you what it is so a autonomy and
what it is so a autonomy and
what it is so a autonomy and self-determination I personally as a
self-determination I personally as a
self-determination I personally as a person I need total freedom I need a
person I need total freedom I need a
person I need total freedom I need a high degree of freedom I need to be
high degree of freedom I need to be
high degree of freedom I need to be independent and I need to be in control
independent and I need to be in control
independent and I need to be in control of my life and I know that now because I
of my life and I know that now because I
of my life and I know that now because I tried myself at four full time jobs that
tried myself at four full time jobs that
tried myself at four full time jobs that won’t be in the first one and I never
won’t be in the first one and I never
won’t be in the first one and I never lasted more than seven months in any of
lasted more than seven months in any of
lasted more than seven months in any of them because for some reason whatever it
them because for some reason whatever it
them because for some reason whatever it is but being in a full-time role just
is but being in a full-time role just
is but being in a full-time role just suffocates me so much that every time my
suffocates me so much that every time my
suffocates me so much that every time my boat has been pulling me away from it
boat has been pulling me away from it
boat has been pulling me away from it again number two variety and adventure
again number two variety and adventure
again number two variety and adventure so today I travel a lot and no week is
so today I travel a lot and no week is
so today I travel a lot and no week is the same so I want to give you an
the same so I want to give you an
the same so I want to give you an example week of my working week so for
example week of my working week so for
example week of my working week so for example on the Thursday night I might DJ
example on the Thursday night I might DJ
example on the Thursday night I might DJ at a corporate event so let’s say the
at a corporate event so let’s say the
at a corporate event so let’s say the annual conference of American
annual conference of American
annual conference of American pharmaceutical company at the Hilton
pharmaceutical company at the Hilton
pharmaceutical company at the Hilton Hotel in Berlin
Hotel in Berlin
Hotel in Berlin and then on a Friday I might play at my
and then on a Friday I might play at my
and then on a Friday I might play at my residency at Kit Kat club and which is a
residency at Kit Kat club and which is a
residency at Kit Kat club and which is a well-known naughty Club and I’m a I
well-known naughty Club and I’m a I
well-known naughty Club and I’m a I might play at a so I played at a gay
might play at a so I played at a gay
might play at a so I played at a gay fetish night
fetish night
fetish night so I’m playing mm masuleh hot gay guys
so I’m playing mm masuleh hot gay guys
so I’m playing mm masuleh hot gay guys in leather gear and then and then the
in leather gear and then and then the
in leather gear and then and then the next on a Saturday I might fly to
next on a Saturday I might fly to
next on a Saturday I might fly to Copenhagen and DJ at a 1920s Gatsby
Copenhagen and DJ at a 1920s Gatsby
Copenhagen and DJ at a 1920s Gatsby style swing Bor so what a wonderful
style swing Bor so what a wonderful
style swing Bor so what a wonderful variety and I think you can imagine that
variety and I think you can imagine that
variety and I think you can imagine that this bad boy didn’t quite take that box
this bad boy didn’t quite take that box
this bad boy didn’t quite take that box and number three individuality and
and number three individuality and
and number three individuality and self-expression so I think that even
self-expression so I think that even
self-expression so I think that even though I was brought up with quite a
though I was brought up with quite a
though I was brought up with quite a strong respect for authority and and
strong respect for authority and and
strong respect for authority and and rules I think there was always a tiny
rules I think there was always a tiny
rules I think there was always a tiny little rebel in me
little rebel in me
little rebel in me I remember being sent home from
I remember being sent home from
I remember being sent home from investment-banking training because I
investment-banking training because I
investment-banking training because I didn’t adhere to the dress code but
didn’t adhere to the dress code but
didn’t adhere to the dress code but today I can where I can say I can do
today I can where I can say I can do
today I can where I can say I can do whatever the hell I want and actually
whatever the hell I want and actually
whatever the hell I want and actually it’s nearly the other way around the
it’s nearly the other way around the
it’s nearly the other way around the crazier the better for my image so today
crazier the better for my image so today
crazier the better for my image so today I get my validation not from money or
I get my validation not from money or
I get my validation not from money or status but today I get my validation
status but today I get my validation
status but today I get my validation from from ecstasy creating ecstasy for
from from ecstasy creating ecstasy for
from from ecstasy creating ecstasy for other people creating ecstasy on the
other people creating ecstasy on the
other people creating ecstasy on the dance floor feeling ecstasy myself when
dance floor feeling ecstasy myself when
dance floor feeling ecstasy myself when creating ecstasy on the dance floor it’s
creating ecstasy on the dance floor it’s
creating ecstasy on the dance floor it’s a two-way thing and from being
a two-way thing and from being
a two-way thing and from being recognized as a DJ and basically just
recognized as a DJ and basically just
recognized as a DJ and basically just from being myself in all my forms and
from being myself in all my forms and
from being myself in all my forms and it’s again it’s just a wonderful thing
it’s again it’s just a wonderful thing
it’s again it’s just a wonderful thing so now I’m all the wiser now I know
so now I’m all the wiser now I know
so now I’m all the wiser now I know these things and I know how they have
these things and I know how they have
these things and I know how they have shaped my journey but for some reason I
shaped my journey but for some reason I
shaped my journey but for some reason I wasn’t able you know when I was 18
wasn’t able you know when I was 18
wasn’t able you know when I was 18 coming out of school I wasn’t able to
coming out of school I wasn’t able to
coming out of school I wasn’t able to see these things or know that these were
see these things or know that these were
see these things or know that these were actually my needs and I think probably
actually my needs and I think probably
actually my needs and I think probably because of my upbringing because of
because of my upbringing because of
because of my upbringing because of environmental factors so two things had
environmental factors so two things had
environmental factors so two things had to happen for me like as a wake-up call
to happen for me like as a wake-up call
to happen for me like as a wake-up call number one is literally I had to get
number one is literally I had to get
number one is literally I had to get into a situation with no way out I had
into a situation with no way out I had
into a situation with no way out I had to hit
to hit
to hit the war because as a student you still
the war because as a student you still
the war because as a student you still have a certain degree of freedom so you
have a certain degree of freedom so you
have a certain degree of freedom so you can still you know you know one tells
can still you know you know one tells
can still you know you know one tells you to go to the lecture I mean you know
you to go to the lecture I mean you know
you to go to the lecture I mean you know you should but you know you still have
you should but you know you still have
you should but you know you still have freedom but suddenly I was here and even
freedom but suddenly I was here and even
freedom but suddenly I was here and even though even the the the internship was
though even the the the internship was
though even the the the internship was you know three months you know I was
you know three months you know I was
you know three months you know I was like yeah three months great you know it
like yeah three months great you know it
like yeah three months great you know it wasn’t serious yet it wasn’t serious and
wasn’t serious yet it wasn’t serious and
wasn’t serious yet it wasn’t serious and suddenly there it was I was dead serious
suddenly there it was I was dead serious
suddenly there it was I was dead serious that was like my job now and so I was in
that was like my job now and so I was in
that was like my job now and so I was in a situation where I was so far removed
a situation where I was so far removed
a situation where I was so far removed from my actual spirit and with no way
from my actual spirit and with no way
from my actual spirit and with no way out with no possibility of compensating
out with no possibility of compensating
out with no possibility of compensating for my needs
for my needs
for my needs then that you know my internal alarm was
then that you know my internal alarm was
then that you know my internal alarm was so loud and my need to escape got so
so loud and my need to escape got so
so loud and my need to escape got so strong that I had no other way but to
strong that I had no other way but to
strong that I had no other way but to liberate myself from that golden prison
liberate myself from that golden prison
liberate myself from that golden prison that I had built for myself number two
that I had built for myself number two
that I had built for myself number two London being in London was a major role
London being in London was a major role
London being in London was a major role because being exposed to all that
because being exposed to all that
because being exposed to all that exciting crazy colourful life you know
exciting crazy colourful life you know
exciting crazy colourful life you know it it seems that somehow it triggered or
it it seems that somehow it triggered or
it it seems that somehow it triggered or it wakened up things in me that must
it wakened up things in me that must
it wakened up things in me that must have already been there they must have
have already been there they must have
have already been there they must have been dormant because London pulled it
been dormant because London pulled it
been dormant because London pulled it out of me and like it transformed me at
out of me and like it transformed me at
out of me and like it transformed me at such tremendous speed because if I let’s
such tremendous speed because if I let’s
such tremendous speed because if I let’s say if I had moved to Frankfurt and be
say if I had moved to Frankfurt and be
say if I had moved to Frankfurt and be an investment banker
an investment banker
an investment banker I mean Frankfurt is not exactly known
I mean Frankfurt is not exactly known
I mean Frankfurt is not exactly known for its the alternative exciting scene
for its the alternative exciting scene
for its the alternative exciting scene so if I lived in Frankfurt and be a
so if I lived in Frankfurt and be a
so if I lived in Frankfurt and be a banker and let’s say lived by myself and
banker and let’s say lived by myself and
banker and let’s say lived by myself and hang out only with other bankers I think
hang out only with other bankers I think
hang out only with other bankers I think it would have taken a lot lot longer if
it would have taken a lot lot longer if
it would have taken a lot lot longer if at all I mean it would have been very
at all I mean it would have been very
at all I mean it would have been very different anyways but it would have
different anyways but it would have
different anyways but it would have taken a lot longer for me to find my
taken a lot longer for me to find my
taken a lot longer for me to find my path even though I think actually
path even though I think actually
path even though I think actually already the decision to go to London for
already the decision to go to London for
already the decision to go to London for an internship was somehow I think
an internship was somehow I think
an internship was somehow I think already in non-conscious pull away from
already in non-conscious pull away from
already in non-conscious pull away from what I knew and towards something new
what I knew and towards something new
what I knew and towards something new towards a new environment so it was that
towards a new environment so it was that
towards a new environment so it was that that hit the war situation plus new
that hit the war situation plus new
that hit the war situation plus new environmental factors that that kind of
environmental factors that that kind of
environmental factors that that kind of came together and just created that
came together and just created that
came together and just created that explosion of six months so in Lesson
explosion of six months so in Lesson
explosion of six months so in Lesson banking
banking
banking right so to summarize I couldn’t have
right so to summarize I couldn’t have
right so to summarize I couldn’t have known before this was just as much a
known before this was just as much a
known before this was just as much a surprise to me then as to everyone else
surprise to me then as to everyone else
surprise to me then as to everyone else I mean to my parents and my bosses even
I mean to my parents and my bosses even
I mean to my parents and my bosses even they’d they you know after sir I was the
they’d they you know after sir I was the
they’d they you know after sir I was the only person out of the year of Turin
only person out of the year of Turin
only person out of the year of Turin people who yeah who resigned after in
people who yeah who resigned after in
people who yeah who resigned after in the first year so and also and that’s
the first year so and also and that’s
the first year so and also and that’s also interesting I don’t think it was
also interesting I don’t think it was
also interesting I don’t think it was courage it was you know I felt so badly
courage it was you know I felt so badly
courage it was you know I felt so badly caged in that it was it was necessary
caged in that it was it was necessary
caged in that it was it was necessary required maybe even somewhat
required maybe even somewhat
required maybe even somewhat predetermined correction of my cause and
predetermined correction of my cause and
predetermined correction of my cause and now the last question I mean do I regret
now the last question I mean do I regret
now the last question I mean do I regret do I regret all this of course I don’t
do I regret all this of course I don’t
do I regret all this of course I don’t because it’s part of who I am as part of
because it’s part of who I am as part of
because it’s part of who I am as part of the story I would not be here if I
the story I would not be here if I
the story I would not be here if I wasn’t if I hadn’t been there and also
wasn’t if I hadn’t been there and also
wasn’t if I hadn’t been there and also being a former or sometimes you know
being a former or sometimes you know
being a former or sometimes you know recovered investment banker has opened a
recovered investment banker has opened a
recovered investment banker has opened a few doors in my life and people look at
few doors in my life and people look at
few doors in my life and people look at you differently when they find out about
you differently when they find out about
you differently when they find out about that story so you know I’m glad I’m glad
that story so you know I’m glad I’m glad
that story so you know I’m glad I’m glad I take that box and I mean it’s there
I take that box and I mean it’s there
I take that box and I mean it’s there still a bit of investment banker in me
still a bit of investment banker in me
still a bit of investment banker in me well have a look at my DJ software if
well have a look at my DJ software if
well have a look at my DJ software if that doesn’t look like an excel sheet
that doesn’t look like an excel sheet
that doesn’t look like an excel sheet then I don’t know thank you that was
you
you [Applause]
”
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