this is my sister Dana joy wasn’t she precious blonde hair and blue eyes and
precious blonde hair and blue eyes and
precious blonde hair and blue eyes and that beautiful smile in that little pug
that beautiful smile in that little pug
that beautiful smile in that little pug nose she actually cut her own bangs for
nose she actually cut her own bangs for
nose she actually cut her own bangs for this picture on july 24 1966 at the age
this picture on july 24 1966 at the age
this picture on july 24 1966 at the age of six Dana joy drowned off a sandbar in
of six Dana joy drowned off a sandbar in
of six Dana joy drowned off a sandbar in the White River my mom and dad had taken
the White River my mom and dad had taken
the White River my mom and dad had taken us there to swim with some other
us there to swim with some other
us there to swim with some other children my dad unfortunately went off
children my dad unfortunately went off
children my dad unfortunately went off to fish and drink and my mom stayed on
to fish and drink and my mom stayed on
to fish and drink and my mom stayed on the bank with some other adults to
the bank with some other adults to
the bank with some other adults to supervise but she didn’t know how to
supervise but she didn’t know how to
supervise but she didn’t know how to swim I was only five years old at the
swim I was only five years old at the
swim I was only five years old at the time so I’m just going to relay the
time so I’m just going to relay the
time so I’m just going to relay the story that I’ve been told as we were
story that I’ve been told as we were
story that I’ve been told as we were swimming the sandbar shifted and dropped
swimming the sandbar shifted and dropped
swimming the sandbar shifted and dropped all of us went under the water a man our
all of us went under the water a man our
all of us went under the water a man our pastor at the time reached into the
pastor at the time reached into the
pastor at the time reached into the muddy water and pulled me up by my hair
muddy water and pulled me up by my hair
muddy water and pulled me up by my hair he and two other gentlemen were able to
he and two other gentlemen were able to
he and two other gentlemen were able to save all the children that day all
save all the children that day all
save all the children that day all except for one Dana Julie I often wonder
except for one Dana Julie I often wonder
except for one Dana Julie I often wonder how my life would be different today if
how my life would be different today if
how my life would be different today if I had a big sister after Dana joy
I had a big sister after Dana joy
I had a big sister after Dana joy drowned my father became distant he
drowned my father became distant he
drowned my father became distant he drank more and loved less his alcoholism
drank more and loved less his alcoholism
drank more and loved less his alcoholism became laced with absenteeism I actually
became laced with absenteeism I actually
became laced with absenteeism I actually remember one Christmas morning waiting
remember one Christmas morning waiting
remember one Christmas morning waiting for him around the Christmas tree and he
for him around the Christmas tree and he
for him around the Christmas tree and he never showed up I’m not sure why he had
never showed up I’m not sure why he had
never showed up I’m not sure why he had so much trouble connecting with us why
so much trouble connecting with us why
so much trouble connecting with us why he feared loving us after he lost Dana
he feared loving us after he lost Dana
he feared loving us after he lost Dana but I began to understand it a little
but I began to understand it a little
but I began to understand it a little bit better about seven years ago I was
bit better about seven years ago I was
bit better about seven years ago I was reading a book called the gifts of
reading a book called the gifts of
reading a book called the gifts of imperfection by brené Brown dr. Brown
imperfection by brené Brown dr. Brown
imperfection by brené Brown dr. Brown is a research professor at the
is a research professor at the
is a research professor at the University of Houston and her
University of Houston and her
University of Houston and her searches in the areas of shame and
searches in the areas of shame and
searches in the areas of shame and vulnerability courage and worthiness she
vulnerability courage and worthiness she
vulnerability courage and worthiness she writes in this book that what we all
writes in this book that what we all
writes in this book that what we all want what we all need as humans is to
want what we all need as humans is to
want what we all need as humans is to feel connected she says that connection
feel connected she says that connection
feel connected she says that connection is this energy that exists between all
is this energy that exists between all
is this energy that exists between all of us when we believe we’re being seen
of us when we believe we’re being seen
of us when we believe we’re being seen and heard and valued she also writes in
and heard and valued she also writes in
and heard and valued she also writes in the book that shame on the other hand is
the book that shame on the other hand is
the book that shame on the other hand is this intensely painful feeling that we
this intensely painful feeling that we
this intensely painful feeling that we are flawed so flawed that we are
are flawed so flawed that we are
are flawed so flawed that we are unworthy of love and belonging I’m not a
unworthy of love and belonging I’m not a
unworthy of love and belonging I’m not a researcher and I don’t know why my
researcher and I don’t know why my
researcher and I don’t know why my father couldn’t connect with us I
father couldn’t connect with us I
father couldn’t connect with us I imagine it was the intense weight of the
imagine it was the intense weight of the
imagine it was the intense weight of the shame he felt because he wasn’t there
shame he felt because he wasn’t there
shame he felt because he wasn’t there when Dana joy drowned it could have also
when Dana joy drowned it could have also
when Dana joy drowned it could have also been that he was so frightened to open
been that he was so frightened to open
been that he was so frightened to open up his heart space after he lost his
up his heart space after he lost his
up his heart space after he lost his angel that day for whatever reason he
angel that day for whatever reason he
angel that day for whatever reason he carried this pain and this shame and
carried this pain and this shame and
carried this pain and this shame and this guilt for 33 years until in 1999 he
this guilt for 33 years until in 1999 he
this guilt for 33 years until in 1999 he took his own life beyond that I don’t
took his own life beyond that I don’t
took his own life beyond that I don’t remember tons about my childhood to be
remember tons about my childhood to be
remember tons about my childhood to be honest with you I grew up on a farm in
honest with you I grew up on a farm in
honest with you I grew up on a farm in Southeast Arkansas I had all the
Southeast Arkansas I had all the
Southeast Arkansas I had all the trappings of a good old country boy I
trappings of a good old country boy I
trappings of a good old country boy I fished I swam in the creek I rode horses
fished I swam in the creek I rode horses
fished I swam in the creek I rode horses and I pretended to hunt but no matter
and I pretended to hunt but no matter
and I pretended to hunt but no matter how much I tried to fit in I always had
how much I tried to fit in I always had
how much I tried to fit in I always had this song on continuous loop in my head
this song on continuous loop in my head
this song on continuous loop in my head you might know the one from Sesame
you might know the one from Sesame
you might know the one from Sesame Street the one that goes one of these
Street the one that goes one of these
Street the one that goes one of these things is not like the other one of
things is not like the other one of
things is not like the other one of these things just doesn’t belong well
these things just doesn’t belong well
these things just doesn’t belong well that was me I’ll fast forward to when I
that was me I’ll fast forward to when I
that was me I’ll fast forward to when I was 16 in 1977 I discovered drama and
was 16 in 1977 I discovered drama and
was 16 in 1977 I discovered drama and the glorious miss Dianna Denton
the glorious miss Dianna Denton
the glorious miss Dianna Denton miss Denton was a sexy vivacious middle
miss Denton was a sexy vivacious middle
miss Denton was a sexy vivacious middle something drama teacher and director she
something drama teacher and director she
something drama teacher and director she had the fire of Miss Ann Margaret and
had the fire of Miss Ann Margaret and
had the fire of Miss Ann Margaret and the softness of Miss Audrey Hepburn
the softness of Miss Audrey Hepburn
the softness of Miss Audrey Hepburn combined with the sassiness of miss
combined with the sassiness of miss
combined with the sassiness of miss Katharine Hepburn she loved me and I
Katharine Hepburn she loved me and I
Katharine Hepburn she loved me and I loved her and I loved drama I love
loved her and I loved drama I love
loved her and I loved drama I love pretending to be somebody I wasn’t it
pretending to be somebody I wasn’t it
pretending to be somebody I wasn’t it was perfect for me when I was a junior
was perfect for me when I was a junior
was perfect for me when I was a junior in high school I landed the role of
in high school I landed the role of
in high school I landed the role of Francis Pryor that’s Francis with an I
Francis Pryor that’s Francis with an I
Francis Pryor that’s Francis with an I in calamity jane now if you haven’t seen
in calamity jane now if you haven’t seen
in calamity jane now if you haven’t seen Calamity Jane it’s a pretty simple plot
Calamity Jane it’s a pretty simple plot
Calamity Jane it’s a pretty simple plot line boy meets girl meets drag queen I
line boy meets girl meets drag queen I
line boy meets girl meets drag queen I was playing Francis with an I pretending
was playing Francis with an I pretending
was playing Francis with an I pretending to be Francis with an e calamity sang
to be Francis with an e calamity sang
to be Francis with an e calamity sang this beautiful song in the movie you
this beautiful song in the movie you
this beautiful song in the movie you might have heard of at door stay sing it
might have heard of at door stay sing it
might have heard of at door stay sing it in its titled secret love and that song
in its titled secret love and that song
in its titled secret love and that song had a lot of meaning for me at that time
had a lot of meaning for me at that time
had a lot of meaning for me at that time in my life it goes something like this
in my life it goes something like this
in my life it goes something like this once I had a secret love deep within the
once I had a secret love deep within the
once I had a secret love deep within the heart of me all too soon my secret love
heart of me all too soon my secret love
heart of me all too soon my secret love became impatient to be free now I
became impatient to be free now I
became impatient to be free now I shouted from the highest hills I even
shouted from the highest hills I even
shouted from the highest hills I even told the golden daffodils and now my
told the golden daffodils and now my
told the golden daffodils and now my heart’s an open door and my secret love
heart’s an open door and my secret love
heart’s an open door and my secret love no secret anymore but it was a secret a
no secret anymore but it was a secret a
no secret anymore but it was a secret a deep dark secret a well-hidden secret a
deep dark secret a well-hidden secret a
deep dark secret a well-hidden secret a secret I locked up because when I was
secret I locked up because when I was
secret I locked up because when I was singing that song at the top of my lungs
singing that song at the top of my lungs
singing that song at the top of my lungs in the shower and in the car I was
in the shower and in the car I was
in the shower and in the car I was fantasizing about Kurt the foreign
fantasizing about Kurt the foreign
fantasizing about Kurt the foreign exchange student from the hinterlands of
exchange student from the hinterlands of
exchange student from the hinterlands of Germany and that was a secret sin that I
Germany and that was a secret sin that I
Germany and that was a secret sin that I kept to myself I think the shame was
kept to myself I think the shame was
kept to myself I think the shame was probably magnified and concentrated by
probably magnified and concentrated by
probably magnified and concentrated by the fact that I grew up on the buckle of
the fact that I grew up on the buckle of
the fact that I grew up on the buckle of the Bible Belt can you imagine the
the Bible Belt can you imagine the
the Bible Belt can you imagine the thousands upon thousands of LGBTQ youth
thousands upon thousands of LGBTQ youth
thousands upon thousands of LGBTQ youth today who feel that same guilt and shame
today who feel that same guilt and shame
today who feel that same guilt and shame and fear of rejection just like I did oh
and fear of rejection just like I did oh
and fear of rejection just like I did oh so many years ago we know that LGBTQ
so many years ago we know that LGBTQ
so many years ago we know that LGBTQ youth who come from environments and
youth who come from environments and
youth who come from environments and families that are rejecting of them are
families that are rejecting of them are
families that are rejecting of them are eight point four times more likely to
eight point four times more likely to
eight point four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers who
attempt suicide than their peers who
attempt suicide than their peers who come from accepting families this next
come from accepting families this next
come from accepting families this next statistic is powerfully sad to me on a
statistic is powerfully sad to me on a
statistic is powerfully sad to me on a lot of levels four point two percent of
lot of levels four point two percent of
lot of levels four point two percent of heterosexual youth attempt suicide while
heterosexual youth attempt suicide while
heterosexual youth attempt suicide while 21.5 percent of LGBTQ youth attempt
21.5 percent of LGBTQ youth attempt
21.5 percent of LGBTQ youth attempt suicide that’s a staggering statistic it
suicide that’s a staggering statistic it
suicide that’s a staggering statistic it makes me wonder what would we do
makes me wonder what would we do
makes me wonder what would we do differently how would we act differently
differently how would we act differently
differently how would we act differently if we knew that by providing and
if we knew that by providing and
if we knew that by providing and accepting and loving environment could
accepting and loving environment could
accepting and loving environment could significantly reduce the risk of suicide
significantly reduce the risk of suicide
significantly reduce the risk of suicide I know what I would do I know what I
I know what I would do I know what I
I know what I would do I know what I believe and that is that a little grace
believe and that is that a little grace
believe and that is that a little grace can save lives and I know for a fact
can save lives and I know for a fact
can save lives and I know for a fact because my father took his own life that
because my father took his own life that
because my father took his own life that shame and disconnection are killers now
shame and disconnection are killers now
shame and disconnection are killers now this might sound overly dramatic for
this might sound overly dramatic for
this might sound overly dramatic for those of you who haven’t experienced the
those of you who haven’t experienced the
those of you who haven’t experienced the concentrated fear that shame creates let
concentrated fear that shame creates let
concentrated fear that shame creates let me tell you shame is a corrosive toxic
me tell you shame is a corrosive toxic
me tell you shame is a corrosive toxic emotion it uses the acids distilled from
emotion it uses the acids distilled from
emotion it uses the acids distilled from fear to eat away at your hope and
fear to eat away at your hope and
fear to eat away at your hope and happiness so what did i do I begin maze
happiness so what did i do I begin maze
happiness so what did i do I begin maze making I built tall walls to create
making I built tall walls to create
making I built tall walls to create shadows for my secrets to hide using
shadows for my secrets to hide using
shadows for my secrets to hide using bricks made from the thick mud
bricks made from the thick mud
bricks made from the thick mud shame mortar made from an old family
shame mortar made from an old family
shame mortar made from an old family recipe ingredients supplied by my
recipe ingredients supplied by my
recipe ingredients supplied by my alcoholic father my codependent mother
alcoholic father my codependent mother
alcoholic father my codependent mother and their wounded child but this wasn’t
and their wounded child but this wasn’t
and their wounded child but this wasn’t the only secret I kept I kept lots of
the only secret I kept I kept lots of
the only secret I kept I kept lots of Secrets you see because I was convinced
Secrets you see because I was convinced
Secrets you see because I was convinced that people wouldn’t love me if they
that people wouldn’t love me if they
that people wouldn’t love me if they knew I was poor or that they would stop
knew I was poor or that they would stop
knew I was poor or that they would stop loving me if they knew that my father
loving me if they knew that my father
loving me if they knew that my father was an alcoholic or that I would be
was an alcoholic or that I would be
was an alcoholic or that I would be rejected if they knew my mother was so
rejected if they knew my mother was so
rejected if they knew my mother was so codependent that she couldn’t ask my
codependent that she couldn’t ask my
codependent that she couldn’t ask my father to leave and she couldn’t leave
father to leave and she couldn’t leave
father to leave and she couldn’t leave her self so what did I do I went about
her self so what did I do I went about
her self so what did I do I went about my business and ignored my sexuality I
my business and ignored my sexuality I
my business and ignored my sexuality I met the most amazing woman and fell in
met the most amazing woman and fell in
met the most amazing woman and fell in love and we got married which is not a
love and we got married which is not a
love and we got married which is not a rare thing by the way there are over two
rare thing by the way there are over two
rare thing by the way there are over two million mixed orientation marriages in
million mixed orientation marriages in
million mixed orientation marriages in the United States we had two gorgeous
the United States we had two gorgeous
the United States we had two gorgeous children her grown now that we love
children her grown now that we love
children her grown now that we love unconditionally we were married for 30
unconditionally we were married for 30
unconditionally we were married for 30 years and throughout those 30 years
years and throughout those 30 years
years and throughout those 30 years happiness never eluded me once peace
happiness never eluded me once peace
happiness never eluded me once peace eluded me there’s a difference peace sat
eluded me there’s a difference peace sat
eluded me there’s a difference peace sat on the thin side of fear desperately
on the thin side of fear desperately
on the thin side of fear desperately wanting to push through but it never
wanting to push through but it never
wanting to push through but it never could not until about three years ago
could not until about three years ago
could not until about three years ago when I reached a tipping point 2013 and
when I reached a tipping point 2013 and
when I reached a tipping point 2013 and 2014 were filled with punishing days the
2014 were filled with punishing days the
2014 were filled with punishing days the time was heavy I was crumbling under its
time was heavy I was crumbling under its
time was heavy I was crumbling under its weight I was leaking life force out of
weight I was leaking life force out of
weight I was leaking life force out of my body i watch myself step into a deep
my body i watch myself step into a deep
my body i watch myself step into a deep dark hole of a place I tried desperately
dark hole of a place I tried desperately
dark hole of a place I tried desperately to get out but fear kept me in there it
to get out but fear kept me in there it
to get out but fear kept me in there it was like a gravity pulling me down I
was like a gravity pulling me down I
was like a gravity pulling me down I wept and wept and lots of people heard
wept and wept and lots of people heard
wept and wept and lots of people heard me most of them ignored me some of them
me most of them ignored me some of them
me most of them ignored me some of them would walk by and say they’re there Jim
would walk by and say they’re there Jim
would walk by and say they’re there Jim everything’s going to be okay you don’t
everything’s going to be okay you don’t
everything’s going to be okay you don’t worry now everything
worry now everything
worry now everything is going to be all right let me tell you
is going to be all right let me tell you
is going to be all right let me tell you when you’re in a pit of despair that is
when you’re in a pit of despair that is
when you’re in a pit of despair that is not what you want to hear then there was
not what you want to hear then there was
not what you want to hear then there was this group of people this tribe of
this group of people this tribe of
this group of people this tribe of people who came down into that dark
people who came down into that dark
people who came down into that dark shadowy place with me and they wrapped
shadowy place with me and they wrapped
shadowy place with me and they wrapped me in their compassion they showed me
me in their compassion they showed me
me in their compassion they showed me love they brought light to me and they
love they brought light to me and they
love they brought light to me and they lifted me out into the light this rare
lifted me out into the light this rare
lifted me out into the light this rare and wondrous group of people gave me the
and wondrous group of people gave me the
and wondrous group of people gave me the courage and strength to face fear when
courage and strength to face fear when
courage and strength to face fear when he said things like you cannot come out
he said things like you cannot come out
he said things like you cannot come out you will lose everything you cannot slay
you will lose everything you cannot slay
you will lose everything you cannot slay this hurt at the feet of your wife and
this hurt at the feet of your wife and
this hurt at the feet of your wife and children so as I SAT atop that crag with
children so as I SAT atop that crag with
children so as I SAT atop that crag with my feet dangling off trying to figure
my feet dangling off trying to figure
my feet dangling off trying to figure out could I let this go could I let go
out could I let this go could I let go
out could I let this go could I let go the shame and fear and guilt when I look
the shame and fear and guilt when I look
the shame and fear and guilt when I look down guess who I saw there it was my
down guess who I saw there it was my
down guess who I saw there it was my tribe my friends were there to catch me
tribe my friends were there to catch me
tribe my friends were there to catch me so in 2014 I let go the edge of the
so in 2014 I let go the edge of the
so in 2014 I let go the edge of the cliff and I surrendered it all I
cliff and I surrendered it all I
cliff and I surrendered it all I surrendered the shame I surrendered the
surrendered the shame I surrendered the
surrendered the shame I surrendered the guilt and I surrendered the fear and let
guilt and I surrendered the fear and let
guilt and I surrendered the fear and let me tell you surrender is the master map
me tell you surrender is the master map
me tell you surrender is the master map maker of my journey so after this I felt
maker of my journey so after this I felt
maker of my journey so after this I felt light I felt free and I felt strong I
light I felt free and I felt strong I
light I felt free and I felt strong I felt strong enough to look fear squarely
felt strong enough to look fear squarely
felt strong enough to look fear squarely in the eye and say listen up bastard I
in the eye and say listen up bastard I
in the eye and say listen up bastard I will not allow you to pimp my life and
will not allow you to pimp my life and
will not allow you to pimp my life and my dreams any longer it was October of
my dreams any longer it was October of
my dreams any longer it was October of 2014 it was a dark night Melinda my wife
2014 it was a dark night Melinda my wife
2014 it was a dark night Melinda my wife and I sat in our living room the light
and I sat in our living room the light
and I sat in our living room the light was soft she said tell me what’s going
was soft she said tell me what’s going
was soft she said tell me what’s going on what’s happening there was no
on what’s happening there was no
on what’s happening there was no frustration and anger in her voice only
frustration and anger in her voice only
frustration and anger in her voice only caring and compassion and as much as I
caring and compassion and as much as I
caring and compassion and as much as I wanted to tell her right that second my
wanted to tell her right that second my
wanted to tell her right that second my heart was beating so fast and so loudly
heart was beating so fast and so loudly
heart was beating so fast and so loudly that I couldn’t figure out when to slip
that I couldn’t figure out when to slip
that I couldn’t figure out when to slip a word in it was like trying to figure
a word in it was like trying to figure
a word in it was like trying to figure out when to jump into a double dutch
out when to jump into a double dutch
out when to jump into a double dutch championship she said just take a deep
championship she said just take a deep
championship she said just take a deep breath and breathe oh my god i was about
breath and breathe oh my god i was about
breath and breathe oh my god i was about to break this woman’s heart into and she
to break this woman’s heart into and she
to break this woman’s heart into and she was coaching me thru the toughest moment
was coaching me thru the toughest moment
was coaching me thru the toughest moment of my life I took a deep breath and I
of my life I took a deep breath and I
of my life I took a deep breath and I said sweetheart what I’m about to tell
said sweetheart what I’m about to tell
said sweetheart what I’m about to tell you is so heavy with hurt that I want to
you is so heavy with hurt that I want to
you is so heavy with hurt that I want to lay it on the floor and promise me you
lay it on the floor and promise me you
lay it on the floor and promise me you will not pick it up she said I can’t
will not pick it up she said I can’t
will not pick it up she said I can’t promise that I don’t know but I knew
promise that I don’t know but I knew
promise that I don’t know but I knew that the two little words these two
that the two little words these two
that the two little words these two insignificant syllables that I was about
insignificant syllables that I was about
insignificant syllables that I was about to speak were like the rats that could
to speak were like the rats that could
to speak were like the rats that could carry the plague into Europe I took a
carry the plague into Europe I took a
carry the plague into Europe I took a deep breath and these two words trilled
deep breath and these two words trilled
deep breath and these two words trilled from my throat I’m gay and in the
from my throat I’m gay and in the
from my throat I’m gay and in the milliseconds it took for those words to
milliseconds it took for those words to
milliseconds it took for those words to reach her ears our worlds were changed
reach her ears our worlds were changed
reach her ears our worlds were changed forever we both died a little bit that
forever we both died a little bit that
forever we both died a little bit that night she might have died a lot I don’t
night she might have died a lot I don’t
night she might have died a lot I don’t know how I expected her to react but I
know how I expected her to react but I
know how I expected her to react but I thought she would get angry and throw
thought she would get angry and throw
thought she would get angry and throw things and yell at me but she didn’t and
things and yell at me but she didn’t and
things and yell at me but she didn’t and I said thank you thank you for being so
I said thank you thank you for being so
I said thank you thank you for being so loving and she looked at me and she said
loving and she looked at me and she said
loving and she looked at me and she said how did you expect me to be and in that
how did you expect me to be and in that
how did you expect me to be and in that moment I realized that I had completely
moment I realized that I had completely
moment I realized that I had completely underestimated the woman that I loved
underestimated the woman that I loved
underestimated the woman that I loved the woman that I knew more than anybody
the woman that I knew more than anybody
the woman that I knew more than anybody brought with her that day the courage
brought with her that day the courage
brought with her that day the courage and strength and compassion that is
and strength and compassion that is
and strength and compassion that is really unimaginable to me so what
really unimaginable to me so what
really unimaginable to me so what happened later that year we separated
happened later that year we separated
happened later that year we separated and divorced then in January of this
and divorced then in January of this
and divorced then in January of this year we were all sitting around the
year we were all sitting around the
year we were all sitting around the dining room table at my house Melinda my
dining room table at my house Melinda my
dining room table at my house Melinda my son his wife my daughter and Melinda’s
son his wife my daughter and Melinda’s
son his wife my daughter and Melinda’s parents i SAT around the table looking
parents i SAT around the table looking
parents i SAT around the table looking at everyone and I caught the eye of my
at everyone and I caught the eye of my
at everyone and I caught the eye of my fiance del Wallace he had this beautiful
fiance del Wallace he had this beautiful
fiance del Wallace he had this beautiful back
back
back smile and his lovely face and I thought
smile and his lovely face and I thought
smile and his lovely face and I thought to myself this this is what it feels
to myself this this is what it feels
to myself this this is what it feels like to be on the other side of the
like to be on the other side of the
like to be on the other side of the storm I was so happy but more
storm I was so happy but more
storm I was so happy but more importantly I was filled to overflowing
importantly I was filled to overflowing
importantly I was filled to overflowing with peace and I understood that this
with peace and I understood that this
with peace and I understood that this journey began by me drawing a circle of
journey began by me drawing a circle of
journey began by me drawing a circle of grace around myself and accepting myself
grace around myself and accepting myself
grace around myself and accepting myself loving myself and knowing that I’m
loving myself and knowing that I’m
loving myself and knowing that I’m lovable and I’m enough and each one of
lovable and I’m enough and each one of
lovable and I’m enough and each one of you are enough you’ve always been enough
you are enough you’ve always been enough
you are enough you’ve always been enough we are all dealing with something maybe
we are all dealing with something maybe
we are all dealing with something maybe it’s alcohol maybe it’s drugs maybe it’s
it’s alcohol maybe it’s drugs maybe it’s
it’s alcohol maybe it’s drugs maybe it’s your weight maybe you don’t like your
your weight maybe you don’t like your
your weight maybe you don’t like your hair but for whatever reason we Harbor
hair but for whatever reason we Harbor
hair but for whatever reason we Harbor the shame and we carry these secrets
the shame and we carry these secrets
the shame and we carry these secrets around brené Brown says secrets cannot
around brené Brown says secrets cannot
around brené Brown says secrets cannot survive being shared and I believe that
shame cannot survive being having its
shame cannot survive being having its story told I’m proof of that so what we
story told I’m proof of that so what we
story told I’m proof of that so what we all need to do is draw the circle of
all need to do is draw the circle of
all need to do is draw the circle of grace around ourselves and stand right
grace around ourselves and stand right
grace around ourselves and stand right in the middle of it and say I’m enough
in the middle of it and say I’m enough
in the middle of it and say I’m enough I’ve always been enough let it go let it
I’ve always been enough let it go let it
I’ve always been enough let it go let it go and equally important and sometimes
go and equally important and sometimes
go and equally important and sometimes more important is the power that we have
more important is the power that we have
more important is the power that we have within us to draw that circle of grace
within us to draw that circle of grace
within us to draw that circle of grace around someone else who is filled with
around someone else who is filled with
around someone else who is filled with shame the LGBTQ youth friends that you
shame the LGBTQ youth friends that you
shame the LGBTQ youth friends that you know who are struggling with whatever
know who are struggling with whatever
know who are struggling with whatever that is draw the circle of grace and
that is draw the circle of grace and
that is draw the circle of grace and give that to get them because I am
give that to get them because I am
give that to get them because I am convinced through my life and through
convinced through my life and through
convinced through my life and through what I’ve seen that a little grace saves
what I’ve seen that a little grace saves
what I’ve seen that a little grace saves lives thank you
lives thank you
lives thank you [Applause]
”
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