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A Little Help | Raneisha Stassin | TEDxHardingU


[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

[Music] okay so to start I want everybody to

okay so to start I want everybody to

okay so to start I want everybody to closer us

closer us

closer us I know super awkward but close your eyes

I know super awkward but close your eyes

I know super awkward but close your eyes I want you to imagine that you just won

I want you to imagine that you just won

I want you to imagine that you just won a really important award you’re standing

a really important award you’re standing

a really important award you’re standing on stage it’s streaming live so millions

on stage it’s streaming live so millions

on stage it’s streaming live so millions of people are watching you this is your

of people are watching you this is your

of people are watching you this is your first huge reward and everyone saying

first huge reward and everyone saying

first huge reward and everyone saying you’ve made it who is the first person

you’ve made it who is the first person

you’ve made it who is the first person you think now open your eyes now I’m

you think now open your eyes now I’m

you think now open your eyes now I’m going to add some strange question I

going to add some strange question I

going to add some strange question I want you to raise your hand if the

want you to raise your hand if the

want you to raise your hand if the person you said you would think was

person you said you would think was

person you said you would think was yourself well you see I asked that

yourself well you see I asked that

yourself well you see I asked that question because often times when we see

question because often times when we see

question because often times when we see someone who we feel is successful we

someone who we feel is successful we

someone who we feel is successful we wonder hmm

wonder hmm

wonder hmm I wonder what they did to get to where

I wonder what they did to get to where

I wonder what they did to get to where they are but when we are awarded for our

they are but when we are awarded for our

they are but when we are awarded for our accomplishments our first instinct is to

accomplishments our first instinct is to

accomplishments our first instinct is to thank those who helped us along the way

thank those who helped us along the way

thank those who helped us along the way so let me tell you a little bit about

so let me tell you a little bit about

so let me tell you a little bit about myself I’m a 24 year old undergraduate

myself I’m a 24 year old undergraduate

myself I’m a 24 year old undergraduate student I’m older than most everyone in

student I’m older than most everyone in

student I’m older than most everyone in my classes I don’t really feel

my classes I don’t really feel

my classes I don’t really feel successful however statistics will say

successful however statistics will say

successful however statistics will say that I definitely am I grew up in

that I definitely am I grew up in

that I definitely am I grew up in poverty fatherless and the daughter of

poverty fatherless and the daughter of

poverty fatherless and the daughter of an incarcerated mother my grandmother

an incarcerated mother my grandmother

an incarcerated mother my grandmother who raised me as a young child was

who raised me as a young child was

who raised me as a young child was crippled with arthritis and incredibly

crippled with arthritis and incredibly

crippled with arthritis and incredibly poor though I really didn’t realize it

poor though I really didn’t realize it

poor though I really didn’t realize it at the time many of my relatives were

at the time many of my relatives were

at the time many of my relatives were arrested fights were normal death was –

arrested fights were normal death was –

arrested fights were normal death was – my oldest sister was murdered in 2001 I

my oldest sister was murdered in 2001 I

my oldest sister was murdered in 2001 I was eight years old when they found her

was eight years old when they found her

was eight years old when they found her body in the Arkansas River after she’d

body in the Arkansas River after she’d

body in the Arkansas River after she’d been strangled to death by a man who

been strangled to death by a man who

been strangled to death by a man who worked in the apartment complex where

worked in the apartment complex where

worked in the apartment complex where she lived many of the women I knew had

she lived many of the women I knew had

she lived many of the women I knew had been sexually assaulted and most either

been sexually assaulted and most either

been sexually assaulted and most either never married or were divorced stability

never married or were divorced stability

never married or were divorced stability was abnormal to me I was used to dis fun

was abnormal to me I was used to dis fun

was abnormal to me I was used to dis fun and brokenness nobody in my immediate

and brokenness nobody in my immediate

and brokenness nobody in my immediate family graduated from college I thought

family graduated from college I thought

family graduated from college I thought success was making $15,000 a year at

success was making $15,000 a year at

success was making $15,000 a year at some blue-collar job I never had loving

some blue-collar job I never had loving

some blue-collar job I never had loving parents I never knew what that felt like

parents I never knew what that felt like

parents I never knew what that felt like and for a long time that was normal to

and for a long time that was normal to

and for a long time that was normal to me the strange thing is is I’ve had

me the strange thing is is I’ve had

me the strange thing is is I’ve had people tell me they’re inspired by me

people tell me they’re inspired by me

people tell me they’re inspired by me but when they do I think of the people

but when they do I think of the people

but when they do I think of the people who helped me get to where I am because

who helped me get to where I am because

who helped me get to where I am because I can’t take full responsibility for

I can’t take full responsibility for

I can’t take full responsibility for getting here so to talk about where I am

getting here so to talk about where I am

getting here so to talk about where I am I guess I should tell you a little bit

I guess I should tell you a little bit

I guess I should tell you a little bit about where I’ve been so when I first

about where I’ve been so when I first

about where I’ve been so when I first entered elementary school a woman named

entered elementary school a woman named

entered elementary school a woman named Gabriel and her husband adopted our

Gabriel and her husband adopted our

Gabriel and her husband adopted our family so Gabriel and her husband would

family so Gabriel and her husband would

family so Gabriel and her husband would choose a low-income family to help each

choose a low-income family to help each

choose a low-income family to help each year and for that entire year they would

year and for that entire year they would

year and for that entire year they would buy everything that family needed so for

buy everything that family needed so for

buy everything that family needed so for every holiday in every changing season

every holiday in every changing season

every holiday in every changing season Gabriel would come when all of the

Gabriel would come when all of the

Gabriel would come when all of the things that she bought for our family at

things that she bought for our family at

things that she bought for our family at the time my grandmother was raised in my

the time my grandmother was raised in my

the time my grandmother was raised in my younger sister and I alone

younger sister and I alone

younger sister and I alone my grandfather had previously helped her

my grandfather had previously helped her

my grandfather had previously helped her but he disappeared I never knew why but

but he disappeared I never knew why but

but he disappeared I never knew why but I have my suspicions she was crippled

I have my suspicions she was crippled

I have my suspicions she was crippled with arthritis so walking was becoming

with arthritis so walking was becoming

with arthritis so walking was becoming difficult for her so caring for her

difficult for her so caring for her

difficult for her so caring for her caring for us alone was hard for her

caring for us alone was hard for her

caring for us alone was hard for her especially with such little income the

especially with such little income the

especially with such little income the year that Gabriel decided to adopt our

year that Gabriel decided to adopt our

year that Gabriel decided to adopt our family we lived in this tiny

family we lived in this tiny

family we lived in this tiny roach-infested one-bedroom home I

roach-infested one-bedroom home I

roach-infested one-bedroom home I remember times where I ate bread with

remember times where I ate bread with

remember times where I ate bread with butter and corn syrup I didn’t think

butter and corn syrup I didn’t think

butter and corn syrup I didn’t think anything of it until Gabriel came with

anything of it until Gabriel came with

anything of it until Gabriel came with all of these things things I didn’t even

all of these things things I didn’t even

all of these things things I didn’t even realize we needed she brought things

realize we needed she brought things

realize we needed she brought things like school supplies and seasonal foods

like school supplies and seasonal foods

like school supplies and seasonal foods I remember Christmas that year being one

I remember Christmas that year being one

I remember Christmas that year being one of the best holidays from our early

of the best holidays from our early

of the best holidays from our early childhood because we got so many gifts I

childhood because we got so many gifts I

childhood because we got so many gifts I used to think Gabriel was literally an

used to think Gabriel was literally an

used to think Gabriel was literally an angel and I still do today I haven’t

angel and I still do today I haven’t

angel and I still do today I haven’t seen her since I was young

seen her since I was young

seen her since I was young but I still remember everything she did

but I still remember everything she did

but I still remember everything she did to help our family that year so some

to help our family that year so some

to help our family that year so some years later during my senior year of

years later during my senior year of

years later during my senior year of high school I was physically assaulted

high school I was physically assaulted

high school I was physically assaulted by my mother this was nothing new as

by my mother this was nothing new as

by my mother this was nothing new as this type of behavior happened

this type of behavior happened

this type of behavior happened throughout my adolescence but this time

throughout my adolescence but this time

throughout my adolescence but this time was different because we were in public

was different because we were in public

was different because we were in public in a her car right down the street from

in a her car right down the street from

in a her car right down the street from my school

my school

my school two years prior to that my appendix

two years prior to that my appendix

two years prior to that my appendix ruptured and the doctors waited five

ruptured and the doctors waited five

ruptured and the doctors waited five months before they took it out talk

months before they took it out talk

months before they took it out talk about a near-death experience I

about a near-death experience I

about a near-death experience I literally almost died

literally almost died

literally almost died the toxins affected my intestines and I

the toxins affected my intestines and I

the toxins affected my intestines and I still have sensitivities to this day

still have sensitivities to this day

still have sensitivities to this day neither she nor I realized it at the

neither she nor I realized it at the

neither she nor I realized it at the time and on that specific day she was

time and on that specific day she was

time and on that specific day she was called to pick me up from school because

called to pick me up from school because

called to pick me up from school because I was sick and I wasn’t feeling well

I was sick and I wasn’t feeling well

I was sick and I wasn’t feeling well well when she arrived at school she was

well when she arrived at school she was

well when she arrived at school she was angry with me she told me it was my

angry with me she told me it was my

angry with me she told me it was my fault I was sick because I ate too much

fault I was sick because I ate too much

fault I was sick because I ate too much out of anger and frustration that she

out of anger and frustration that she

out of anger and frustration that she didn’t seem to care about my well-being

didn’t seem to care about my well-being

didn’t seem to care about my well-being I swore at her see normally I would just

I swore at her see normally I would just

I swore at her see normally I would just keep my mouth shut but the resentment

keep my mouth shut but the resentment

keep my mouth shut but the resentment that I was having toward her was slowly

that I was having toward her was slowly

that I was having toward her was slowly building and at the time I felt like she

building and at the time I felt like she

building and at the time I felt like she would not understand how I felt if I

would not understand how I felt if I

would not understand how I felt if I didn’t well she stopped her car and

didn’t well she stopped her car and

didn’t well she stopped her car and started attacking me I opened the door

started attacking me I opened the door

started attacking me I opened the door and ran out leaving my jacket that she

and ran out leaving my jacket that she

and ran out leaving my jacket that she was clinging on to with her fists she

was clinging on to with her fists she

was clinging on to with her fists she didn’t open her door and started to yell

didn’t open her door and started to yell

didn’t open her door and started to yell threats at me she told me not to come

threats at me she told me not to come

threats at me she told me not to come home or else needless to say I didn’t go

home or else needless to say I didn’t go

home or else needless to say I didn’t go home that day so I ran to my school

home that day so I ran to my school

home that day so I ran to my school counselor where I was told I needed to

counselor where I was told I needed to

counselor where I was told I needed to follow a police report I was still

follow a police report I was still

follow a police report I was still pretty sick and now I had nowhere to go

pretty sick and now I had nowhere to go

pretty sick and now I had nowhere to go I remember sitting in the counselor’s

I remember sitting in the counselor’s

I remember sitting in the counselor’s office for hours before they just gave

office for hours before they just gave

office for hours before they just gave up and decided to send me back to class

up and decided to send me back to class

up and decided to send me back to class until they could find me a place to say

until they could find me a place to say

until they could find me a place to say one of my best friends at the time was

one of my best friends at the time was

one of my best friends at the time was living in a foster home I knew their

living in a foster home I knew their

living in a foster home I knew their parents because they preached at the

parents because they preached at the

parents because they preached at the church I’d just begun visiting they

church I’d just begun visiting they

church I’d just begun visiting they offered me their home temporarily and I

offered me their home temporarily and I

offered me their home temporarily and I stayed with them until I graduated from

stayed with them until I graduated from

stayed with them until I graduated from Highschool my mom did not help me

Highschool my mom did not help me

Highschool my mom did not help me prepare for my high school graduation

prepare for my high school graduation

prepare for my high school graduation they did my mom did not attend the

they did my mom did not attend the

they did my mom did not attend the scholarship award ceremony at my school

scholarship award ceremony at my school

scholarship award ceremony at my school they did they helped me pick out clothes

they did they helped me pick out clothes

they did they helped me pick out clothes and they cheered for me at my high

and they cheered for me at my high

and they cheered for me at my high school graduation I don’t know what

school graduation I don’t know what

school graduation I don’t know what would have happened if they hadn’t taken

would have happened if they hadn’t taken

would have happened if they hadn’t taken the time to help me I’m not sure if I

the time to help me I’m not sure if I

the time to help me I’m not sure if I would have been able to walk across the

would have been able to walk across the

would have been able to walk across the stage and get my high school diploma and

stage and get my high school diploma and

stage and get my high school diploma and to this day I’m not sure they even know

to this day I’m not sure they even know

to this day I’m not sure they even know how much that means to me those stories

how much that means to me those stories

how much that means to me those stories are just two of many many stories I can

are just two of many many stories I can

are just two of many many stories I can tell you about the people who’ve helped

tell you about the people who’ve helped

tell you about the people who’ve helped me become Who I am today there’s this

me become Who I am today there’s this

me become Who I am today there’s this thing about success people think that

thing about success people think that

thing about success people think that it’s something everyone can get but for

it’s something everyone can get but for

it’s something everyone can get but for me my opportunities were always limited

it’s important that I say that because

it’s important that I say that because people use stories like mine as

people use stories like mine as

people use stories like mine as justification they might say things like

justification they might say things like

justification they might say things like well look at her she came from this

well look at her she came from this

well look at her she came from this poorer african-american home so what’s

poorer african-american home so what’s

poorer african-american home so what’s your Excuse well let me tell you they

your Excuse well let me tell you they

your Excuse well let me tell you they didn’t have help I was lucky because

didn’t have help I was lucky because

didn’t have help I was lucky because someone reached out to me and that made

someone reached out to me and that made

someone reached out to me and that made all of the difference

all of the difference

all of the difference thanks to the people who’ve helped me in

thanks to the people who’ve helped me in

thanks to the people who’ve helped me in my life I’m now able to see the world

my life I’m now able to see the world

my life I’m now able to see the world from a totally new perspective as I

from a totally new perspective as I

from a totally new perspective as I approach graduation I get to see the

approach graduation I get to see the

approach graduation I get to see the world through professional lenses now

world through professional lenses now

world through professional lenses now but still I see evidence of the

but still I see evidence of the

but still I see evidence of the importance of helping people and how

importance of helping people and how

importance of helping people and how that not only shapes lives and gets

that not only shapes lives and gets

that not only shapes lives and gets people like me to places like Harding

people like me to places like Harding

people like me to places like Harding University but also how vital that is in

University but also how vital that is in

University but also how vital that is in the workplace so this past summer I

the workplace so this past summer I

the workplace so this past summer I interned at Ketchum Ketchum is one of

interned at Ketchum Ketchum is one of

interned at Ketchum Ketchum is one of the largest public relations agencies in

the largest public relations agencies in

the largest public relations agencies in the world and if you would have told me

the world and if you would have told me

the world and if you would have told me at 18 when I was sitting in that

at 18 when I was sitting in that

at 18 when I was sitting in that counselor’s office that I would have

counselor’s office that I would have

counselor’s office that I would have spent a summer in San Francisco working

spent a summer in San Francisco working

spent a summer in San Francisco working with some of the best in communications

with some of the best in communications

with some of the best in communications I wouldn’t have believed

I wouldn’t have believed

I wouldn’t have believed you to be honest I didn’t even know what

you to be honest I didn’t even know what

you to be honest I didn’t even know what public relations was when I was 18 years

public relations was when I was 18 years

public relations was when I was 18 years old but if it’s one thing that I learned

old but if it’s one thing that I learned

old but if it’s one thing that I learned from that summer is that even the best

from that summer is that even the best

from that summer is that even the best and brightest need help

and brightest need help

and brightest need help Ketchum has some of the best campaigns

Ketchum has some of the best campaigns

Ketchum has some of the best campaigns and public relations but that’s not the

and public relations but that’s not the

and public relations but that’s not the result of one person one person cannot

result of one person one person cannot

result of one person one person cannot take full responsibility for check their

take full responsibility for check their

take full responsibility for check their achievements but many people working

achievements but many people working

achievements but many people working together can create something incredible

together can create something incredible

together can create something incredible and often do our success stories are not

and often do our success stories are not

and often do our success stories are not a one-man show they feature all of the

a one-man show they feature all of the

a one-man show they feature all of the people who’ve helped us along the way

people who’ve helped us along the way

people who’ve helped us along the way you may not realize it now but you are

you may not realize it now but you are

you may not realize it now but you are part of somebody else’s success story so

part of somebody else’s success story so

part of somebody else’s success story so next month when I get ready to graduate

next month when I get ready to graduate

next month when I get ready to graduate and walk across that stage I have you

and walk across that stage I have you

and walk across that stage I have you and you and you to credit as well

and you and you to credit as well

and you and you to credit as well because I didn’t get here on my own I

because I didn’t get here on my own I

because I didn’t get here on my own I had a little help

had a little help

had a little help thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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