as an international educator I had the privilege to live and work in many
privilege to live and work in many
privilege to live and work in many different countries I lived in Turkey in
different countries I lived in Turkey in
different countries I lived in Turkey in Myanmar in China in Spain in Germany and
Myanmar in China in Spain in Germany and
Myanmar in China in Spain in Germany and in Indonesia I loved what I did and I
in Indonesia I loved what I did and I
in Indonesia I loved what I did and I did what I loved which was teaching
did what I loved which was teaching
did what I loved which was teaching drama and film studies the world was
drama and film studies the world was
drama and film studies the world was mine
mine
mine what changed the situation cancer in
what changed the situation cancer in
what changed the situation cancer in March 2015 I flew to Germany because my
March 2015 I flew to Germany because my
March 2015 I flew to Germany because my father had cancer and I wanted to be
father had cancer and I wanted to be
father had cancer and I wanted to be with him a few days after my arrival I
with him a few days after my arrival I
with him a few days after my arrival I went to check up myself not because I
went to check up myself not because I
went to check up myself not because I felt that I felt great it was April 1st
felt that I felt great it was April 1st
felt that I felt great it was April 1st when the doctor told me you have a tumor
when the doctor told me you have a tumor
when the doctor told me you have a tumor I could not believe it
I could not believe it
I could not believe it I thought she was joking because it was
I thought she was joking because it was
I thought she was joking because it was April 1st except she was not laughing
April 1st except she was not laughing
April 1st except she was not laughing and because before I could even think I
and because before I could even think I
and because before I could even think I was in a hospital I had my first surgery
was in a hospital I had my first surgery
was in a hospital I had my first surgery this one not pleasant it took me a while
this one not pleasant it took me a while
this one not pleasant it took me a while to recover and when I got a little bit
to recover and when I got a little bit
to recover and when I got a little bit better the phone was ringing
better the phone was ringing
better the phone was ringing it was my surgeon her voice was
it was my surgeon her voice was
it was my surgeon her voice was empathetic her questions alarming I had
empathetic her questions alarming I had
empathetic her questions alarming I had ovarian cancer my world was upside down
ovarian cancer my world was upside down
ovarian cancer my world was upside down and nothing nothing nothing was the same
and nothing nothing nothing was the same
and nothing nothing nothing was the same anymore it was as we say in the movie
anymore it was as we say in the movie
anymore it was as we say in the movie business it was a point of no return and
business it was a point of no return and
business it was a point of no return and the central question was raised
the central question was raised
the central question was raised there’s always essential questions in
there’s always essential questions in
there’s always essential questions in the movies will I ever get out of this
the movies will I ever get out of this
the movies will I ever get out of this the next day after the phone call I had
the next day after the phone call I had
the next day after the phone call I had to see the surgeon and she told me what
to see the surgeon and she told me what
to see the surgeon and she told me what needed
needed
needed be done I felt terrible and something
be done I felt terrible and something
be done I felt terrible and something something in this meeting happened It
something in this meeting happened It
something in this meeting happened It was as if a glass wall came down and I
was as if a glass wall came down and I
was as if a glass wall came down and I couldn’t reach the other people anymore
couldn’t reach the other people anymore
couldn’t reach the other people anymore I had the feeling I was no longer part
I had the feeling I was no longer part
I had the feeling I was no longer part of this life I was disconnected
of this life I was disconnected
of this life I was disconnected I was unframed that day I went to a park
I was unframed that day I went to a park
I was unframed that day I went to a park because I had to digest the information
because I had to digest the information
because I had to digest the information I just wanted to be with normal people
I just wanted to be with normal people
I just wanted to be with normal people because that’s how I felt there was me
because that’s how I felt there was me
because that’s how I felt there was me and normal people me and healthy people
and normal people me and healthy people
and normal people me and healthy people people with normal problems and me with
people with normal problems and me with
people with normal problems and me with a problem as big as the Mount Everest I
a problem as big as the Mount Everest I
a problem as big as the Mount Everest I went into the hospital again and this
went into the hospital again and this
went into the hospital again and this time I had major surgery this one
time I had major surgery this one
time I had major surgery this one followed by chemotherapy physiotherapy
followed by chemotherapy physiotherapy
followed by chemotherapy physiotherapy rehab and during this time I stayed with
rehab and during this time I stayed with
rehab and during this time I stayed with friends in the countryside with friends
friends in the countryside with friends
friends in the countryside with friends and a dog and nature was good for me but
and a dog and nature was good for me but
and a dog and nature was good for me but how did I feel not so good I could
how did I feel not so good I could
how did I feel not so good I could hardly walk I felt sick every morning I
hardly walk I felt sick every morning I
hardly walk I felt sick every morning I had splitting headaches my hearing was
had splitting headaches my hearing was
had splitting headaches my hearing was bad so I felt even more disconnected my
bad so I felt even more disconnected my
bad so I felt even more disconnected my world was small it was the bed
world was small it was the bed
world was small it was the bed I lost my autonomy my body was not my
I lost my autonomy my body was not my
I lost my autonomy my body was not my body anymore I was skinny but I had
body anymore I was skinny but I had
body anymore I was skinny but I had elephant legs they took out 52 lymph
elephant legs they took out 52 lymph
elephant legs they took out 52 lymph nodes it was not pleasant and my world
nodes it was not pleasant and my world
nodes it was not pleasant and my world was the opposite of exotic was not good
was the opposite of exotic was not good
was the opposite of exotic was not good while I got better and I got better
while I got better and I got better
while I got better and I got better after a year my father’s health went
after a year my father’s health went
after a year my father’s health went downhill it was a very difficult time
downhill it was a very difficult time
downhill it was a very difficult time but I got through this it’s very very
but I got through this it’s very very
but I got through this it’s very very often people ask me how did you do this
often people ask me how did you do this
often people ask me how did you do this and every single time my answer is the
and every single time my answer is the
and every single time my answer is the same with love empathy and smiles I had
same with love empathy and smiles I had
same with love empathy and smiles I had a tremendous support from my partner
a tremendous support from my partner
a tremendous support from my partner from my family from my friends from my
from my family from my friends from my
from my family from my friends from my students around the world and from the
students around the world and from the
students around the world and from the parents of my students I was surrounded
parents of my students I was surrounded
parents of my students I was surrounded by love and empathy now what can you do
by love and empathy now what can you do
by love and empathy now what can you do if you have a partner if you have a
if you have a partner if you have a
if you have a partner if you have a friend or a loved one with cancer but
friend or a loved one with cancer but
friend or a loved one with cancer but before I share my six simple but
before I share my six simple but
before I share my six simple but powerful ideas with you let me ask you
powerful ideas with you let me ask you
powerful ideas with you let me ask you two questions please raise your hand if
two questions please raise your hand if
two questions please raise your hand if you have a friend a family member or
you have a friend a family member or
you have a friend a family member or someone you know with cancer I do okay
someone you know with cancer I do okay
someone you know with cancer I do okay please raise your hand if you sometimes
please raise your hand if you sometimes
please raise your hand if you sometimes feel uncomfortable not sure what to do I
feel uncomfortable not sure what to do I
feel uncomfortable not sure what to do I do that’s what I thought but it doesn’t
do that’s what I thought but it doesn’t
do that’s what I thought but it doesn’t have to be this way and here is what
have to be this way and here is what
have to be this way and here is what I’ve learned
I’ve learned
I’ve learned smile smile can be very powerful and
smile smile can be very powerful and
smile smile can be very powerful and when I was in the hospital I got a
when I was in the hospital I got a
when I was in the hospital I got a postcard from one of my student and the
postcard from one of my student and the
postcard from one of my student and the postcard said if you don’t have a smile
postcard said if you don’t have a smile
postcard said if you don’t have a smile I will give you one of mine and believe
I will give you one of mine and believe
I will give you one of mine and believe me when you have cancer you don’t have
me when you have cancer you don’t have
me when you have cancer you don’t have much to smile about I had a mirror in my
much to smile about I had a mirror in my
much to smile about I had a mirror in my hospital room so I could see how people
hospital room so I could see how people
hospital room so I could see how people would end
would end
would end and it’s made my day when my partner my
and it’s made my day when my partner my
and it’s made my day when my partner my family my friends or my students the
family my friends or my students the
family my friends or my students the doctors the nurses the cleaners came
doctors the nurses the cleaners came
doctors the nurses the cleaners came into my room and smiled at me because it
into my room and smiled at me because it
into my room and smiled at me because it meant hope encouragement and I felt
meant hope encouragement and I felt
meant hope encouragement and I felt connected again love when I talk about
connected again love when I talk about
connected again love when I talk about love I mean laughs that simply gives
love I mean laughs that simply gives
love I mean laughs that simply gives without wanting something in return it
without wanting something in return it
without wanting something in return it is love when your partner comes to the
is love when your partner comes to the
is love when your partner comes to the hospital room and says today’s flowers
hospital room and says today’s flowers
hospital room and says today’s flowers are from me and the next day says these
are from me and the next day says these
are from me and the next day says these flowers are from Bob and Pattie from
flowers are from Bob and Pattie from
flowers are from Bob and Pattie from Thailand the 30 these flowers are from
Thailand the 30 these flowers are from
Thailand the 30 these flowers are from dr. George your colleagues and your
dr. George your colleagues and your
dr. George your colleagues and your students it is love when your friend is
students it is love when your friend is
students it is love when your friend is sitting beside your hospital bed while
sitting beside your hospital bed while
sitting beside your hospital bed while you are waking up from major surgery
you are waking up from major surgery
you are waking up from major surgery it is blood when your father comes to
it is blood when your father comes to
it is blood when your father comes to the hospital room with his oxygen tank
the hospital room with his oxygen tank
the hospital room with his oxygen tank on his back and says I was worried about
on his back and says I was worried about
on his back and says I was worried about you and it is love when your sister who
you and it is love when your sister who
you and it is love when your sister who is not much of a talker noted that Jeep
is not much of a talker noted that Jeep
is not much of a talker noted that Jeep or know that you like the church he is
or know that you like the church he is
or know that you like the church he is fern and brings her present the next day
fern and brings her present the next day
fern and brings her present the next day and get what it is I think you get the
and get what it is I think you get the
and get what it is I think you get the picture
picture
picture empathy and when I talk about empathy I
empathy and when I talk about empathy I
empathy and when I talk about empathy I mean the capability of jumping or
mean the capability of jumping or
mean the capability of jumping or stepping into somebody else’s shoes very
stepping into somebody else’s shoes very
stepping into somebody else’s shoes very important keep your ego out when you go
important keep your ego out when you go
important keep your ego out when you go to a hospital room and have a friend
to a hospital room and have a friend
to a hospital room and have a friend with cancer keep your ego out it is not
with cancer keep your ego out it is not
with cancer keep your ego out it is not about you don’t take anything personally
about you don’t take anything personally
about you don’t take anything personally if your friend doesn’t show up for your
if your friend doesn’t show up for your
if your friend doesn’t show up for your big Valley sash opening night birthday
big Valley sash opening night birthday
big Valley sash opening night birthday party it’s not that he or he doesn’t
party it’s not that he or he doesn’t
party it’s not that he or he doesn’t want to it’s simply your friend has
want to it’s simply your friend has
want to it’s simply your friend has nothing to give and meet all the energy
nothing to give and meet all the energy
nothing to give and meet all the energy for himself or herself don’t take it
for himself or herself don’t take it
for himself or herself don’t take it personally and please do not compare
personally and please do not compare
personally and please do not compare yourself to other friends don’t think
yourself to other friends don’t think
yourself to other friends don’t think I can’t he drives her to him with her
I can’t he drives her to him with her
I can’t he drives her to him with her appear and not me support is not a
appear and not me support is not a
appear and not me support is not a competition your friend has to deal with
competition your friend has to deal with
competition your friend has to deal with a lot so please don’t do that to
a lot so please don’t do that to
a lot so please don’t do that to yourself and don’t do it to your friend
yourself and don’t do it to your friend
yourself and don’t do it to your friend communication words are very powerful
communication words are very powerful
communication words are very powerful they can destroy a person or they can
they can destroy a person or they can
they can destroy a person or they can make a person strong if you enter the
make a person strong if you enter the
make a person strong if you enter the hospital room or their home choose your
hospital room or their home choose your
hospital room or their home choose your words wisely be empathetic of course but
words wisely be empathetic of course but
words wisely be empathetic of course but listen carefully listen to what he has
listen carefully listen to what he has
listen carefully listen to what he has to tell you not what you want them to
to tell you not what you want them to
to tell you not what you want them to tell you don’t ask rhetorical questions
tell you don’t ask rhetorical questions
tell you don’t ask rhetorical questions ask open-ended questions and be positive
ask open-ended questions and be positive
ask open-ended questions and be positive and please please please don’t multitask
and please please please don’t multitask
and please please please don’t multitask in a hospital room if you are too busy
in a hospital room if you are too busy
in a hospital room if you are too busy and too important you know what then
and too important you know what then
and too important you know what then don’t come don’t go up go home do your
don’t come don’t go up go home do your
don’t come don’t go up go home do your business and come back when it’s more
business and come back when it’s more
business and come back when it’s more comfortable for you but if you’re in the
comfortable for you but if you’re in the
comfortable for you but if you’re in the hospital room be present and make
hospital room be present and make
hospital room be present and make decisions with your friend not for your
decisions with your friend not for your
decisions with your friend not for your friend imagine how you would feel and of
friend imagine how you would feel and of
friend imagine how you would feel and of course spend little signs of love a
course spend little signs of love a
course spend little signs of love a letter postcards messages something like
letter postcards messages something like
letter postcards messages something like that I got a message from a student once
that I got a message from a student once
that I got a message from a student once and what there is nothing on it because
and what there is nothing on it because
and what there is nothing on it because I know the text by heart but it said
I know the text by heart but it said
I know the text by heart but it said dear Miss B long-term I love you
dear Miss B long-term I love you
dear Miss B long-term I love you wait – you’re my best drama teacher ever
wait – you’re my best drama teacher ever
wait – you’re my best drama teacher ever I was probably the first one
I was probably the first one
I was probably the first one remember when we did the rainbow fish it
remember when we did the rainbow fish it
remember when we did the rainbow fish it was so much fun
was so much fun
was so much fun please miss it Lanka please come back
please miss it Lanka please come back
please miss it Lanka please come back even though you had cancer you know what
even though you had cancer you know what
even though you had cancer you know what is so dramatic
is so dramatic
is so dramatic I loved glitters science of love
I loved glitters science of love
I loved glitters science of love positivity
positivity
positivity please be positive and encouraging a
please be positive and encouraging a
please be positive and encouraging a cancer patient can’t afford the luxury
cancer patient can’t afford the luxury
cancer patient can’t afford the luxury of the single negative thought not one
of the single negative thought not one
of the single negative thought not one so it is and it was encouraging for me
so it is and it was encouraging for me
so it is and it was encouraging for me when my father who was dying came into
when my father who was dying came into
when my father who was dying came into the hospital room as that we can fight
the hospital room as that we can fight
the hospital room as that we can fight this monster it was encouraging when my
this monster it was encouraging when my
this monster it was encouraging when my partner said we will get through this it
partner said we will get through this it
partner said we will get through this it was encouraging then another friend of
was encouraging then another friend of
was encouraging then another friend of mine said you’re in very good hands
mine said you’re in very good hands
mine said you’re in very good hands she knew the surgeon and finally when
she knew the surgeon and finally when
she knew the surgeon and finally when the surgeon said a sentence you’ve
the surgeon said a sentence you’ve
the surgeon said a sentence you’ve probably heard from a German politician
probably heard from a German politician
probably heard from a German politician these happen does you can do this that’s
these happen does you can do this that’s
these happen does you can do this that’s all I needed
all I needed
all I needed that’s what kept me going and last but
that’s what kept me going and last but
that’s what kept me going and last but not least practical health maybe you’re
not least practical health maybe you’re
not least practical health maybe you’re not a person who wants to go to the
not a person who wants to go to the
not a person who wants to go to the hospital maybe you’re afraid or you’re
hospital maybe you’re afraid or you’re
hospital maybe you’re afraid or you’re not a talker that’s okay because we have
not a talker that’s okay because we have
not a talker that’s okay because we have so much to give there’s so much to do
so much to give there’s so much to do
so much to give there’s so much to do when you have cancer there is so much
when you have cancer there is so much
when you have cancer there is so much paperwork to do and it is overwhelming
paperwork to do and it is overwhelming
paperwork to do and it is overwhelming when you are sick so you can make phone
when you are sick so you can make phone
when you are sick so you can make phone calls set up appointments is you can
calls set up appointments is you can
calls set up appointments is you can scan stuff to the health insurance print
scan stuff to the health insurance print
scan stuff to the health insurance print stuff you can go shopping unload the
stuff you can go shopping unload the
stuff you can go shopping unload the dishwasher
dishwasher
dishwasher talk to your friend exercise with your
talk to your friend exercise with your
talk to your friend exercise with your friend or simply sit with your friends
friend or simply sit with your friends
friend or simply sit with your friends eat popcorn and watch your movie
eat popcorn and watch your movie
eat popcorn and watch your movie so audience here’s what I want you to
so audience here’s what I want you to
so audience here’s what I want you to take home if you should have a friend or
take home if you should have a friend or
take home if you should have a friend or a family member with cancer
a family member with cancer
a family member with cancer please don’t freeze or don’t disappear
please don’t freeze or don’t disappear
please don’t freeze or don’t disappear you don’t have to be perfect but your
you don’t have to be perfect but your
you don’t have to be perfect but your friend needs you and please remember be
friend needs you and please remember be
friend needs you and please remember be loving and empathetic and don’t forget
loving and empathetic and don’t forget
loving and empathetic and don’t forget to smile
to smile
to smile thank you
”
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