good morning believe nation in today’s episode of believe life
can you get me in he said yeah so will
can you get me in he said yeah so will you lease it no so why not he said you
you lease it no so why not he said you
you lease it no so why not he said you won’t value it he said if you struggle
won’t value it he said if you struggle
won’t value it he said if you struggle to be there I was like alright so the
to be there I was like alright so the
to be there I was like alright so the question was how do I suggest attracting
question was how do I suggest attracting
question was how do I suggest attracting mentors into my life and with surfing
mentors into my life and with surfing
mentors into my life and with surfing for instance I ended up learning how to
for instance I ended up learning how to
for instance I ended up learning how to do a pop-up from a guy named Brad
do a pop-up from a guy named Brad
do a pop-up from a guy named Brad Gerlach who was formerly number one
Gerlach who was formerly number one
Gerlach who was formerly number one ranked surfer in the world uh-huh and I
ranked surfer in the world uh-huh and I
ranked surfer in the world uh-huh and I did it via skype video I was actually in
did it via skype video I was actually in
did it via skype video I was actually in an apartment in Berlin when it was
an apartment in Berlin when it was
an apartment in Berlin when it was raining and he was in Los Angeles and he
raining and he was in Los Angeles and he
raining and he was in Los Angeles and he did it remotely the fastest answer is
did it remotely the fastest answer is
did it remotely the fastest answer is you pay them honestly it’s it for like
you pay them honestly it’s it for like
you pay them honestly it’s it for like Brad it you could do it very very very
Brad it you could do it very very very
Brad it you could do it very very very affordably that’s the that’s the path of
affordably that’s the that’s the path of
affordably that’s the that’s the path of least resistance the other there’s a
least resistance the other there’s a
least resistance the other there’s a question of how to find them and then
question of how to find them and then
question of how to find them and then there’s a question of how to engage with
there’s a question of how to engage with
there’s a question of how to engage with them there’s two different things in
them there’s two different things in
them there’s two different things in terms of how to find them I’m gonna have
terms of how to find them I’m gonna have
terms of how to find them I’m gonna have to defer just in the interest of time to
to defer just in the interest of time to
to defer just in the interest of time to the deconstruction section in the 4-hour
the deconstruction section in the 4-hour
the deconstruction section in the 4-hour chef where I talk about how to track
chef where I talk about how to track
chef where I talk about how to track them down on Google and different
them down on Google and different
them down on Google and different questions I use in terms of how to
questions I use in terms of how to
questions I use in terms of how to engage you can certainly just pay them
engage you can certainly just pay them
engage you can certainly just pay them secondly is to freelance write write a
secondly is to freelance write write a
secondly is to freelance write write a piece and interview them as part of that
piece and interview them as part of that
piece and interview them as part of that piece and then tack on an extra five or
piece and then tack on an extra five or
piece and then tack on an extra five or 10 minutes to ask you what you’d like to
10 minutes to ask you what you’d like to
10 minutes to ask you what you’d like to ask them would be my recommendation but
ask them would be my recommendation but
ask them would be my recommendation but if budget allows the most direct ways
if budget allows the most direct ways
if budget allows the most direct ways just to pay them for 50 100 200 dollars
just to pay them for 50 100 200 dollars
just to pay them for 50 100 200 dollars for a Skype session I have no idea what
for a Skype session I have no idea what
for a Skype session I have no idea what finding a mentor was like 10 or 20 years
finding a mentor was like 10 or 20 years
finding a mentor was like 10 or 20 years ago it’s always been the same how do you
ago it’s always been the same how do you
ago it’s always been the same how do you find a boyfriend or a girlfriend as your
find a boyfriend or a girlfriend as your
find a boyfriend or a girlfriend as your fish where the fish are you go where
fish where the fish are you go where
fish where the fish are you go where they are the way you find a mentor is
they are the way you find a mentor is
they are the way you find a mentor is you look around yourself and you look
you look around yourself and you look
you look around yourself and you look around your world and you say who would
around your world and you say who would
around your world and you say who would be a good person to give me advice to
be a good person to give me advice to
be a good person to give me advice to help me at this stage of my career and
help me at this stage of my career and
help me at this stage of my career and then you approach that person and in
then you approach that person and in
then you approach that person and in approaching a mentor you ask them for 10
approaching a mentor you ask them for 10
approaching a mentor you ask them for 10 minutes of their time to ask them three
minutes of their time to ask them three
minutes of their time to ask them three specific questions which are in writing
specific questions which are in writing
specific questions which are in writing and you give them a copy of it no more
and you give them a copy of it no more
and you give them a copy of it no more than 10 minutes most people who are
than 10 minutes most people who are
than 10 minutes most people who are valuable as mentors are also extremely
valuable as mentors are also extremely
valuable as mentors are also extremely busy
busy
busy and they do not have time for open-ended
and they do not have time for open-ended
and they do not have time for open-ended rambling conversations you know I have
rambling conversations you know I have
rambling conversations you know I have people say please be more mentor and
people say please be more mentor and
people say please be more mentor and tell me everything I need to be
tell me everything I need to be
tell me everything I need to be successful at life and I hang up the
successful at life and I hang up the
successful at life and I hang up the phone figuratively I push delete on the
phone figuratively I push delete on the
phone figuratively I push delete on the email because I simply don’t have the
email because I simply don’t have the
email because I simply don’t have the time if a person writes me and says
time if a person writes me and says
time if a person writes me and says could you answer this specific question
could you answer this specific question
could you answer this specific question then I will almost always answer that
then I will almost always answer that
then I will almost always answer that specific question so look upon yourself
specific question so look upon yourself
specific question so look upon yourself and say who would be a good person to be
and say who would be a good person to be
and say who would be a good person to be a mentor and then remember a mentor
a mentor and then remember a mentor
a mentor and then remember a mentor relationship has to have some benefit
relationship has to have some benefit
relationship has to have some benefit for the other person so what are you
for the other person so what are you
for the other person so what are you going to bring to the party whatever the
going to bring to the party whatever the
going to bring to the party whatever the person offers you in terms of advice or
person offers you in terms of advice or
person offers you in terms of advice or guidance do it and report back
guidance do it and report back
guidance do it and report back but then ask how can I help you what can
but then ask how can I help you what can
but then ask how can I help you what can I do to help you even if it’s merely
I do to help you even if it’s merely
I do to help you even if it’s merely moving boxes on moving day what can you
moving boxes on moving day what can you
moving boxes on moving day what can you do to help your mentor remember the rule
do to help your mentor remember the rule
do to help your mentor remember the rule in life is you have to give to get and
in life is you have to give to get and
in life is you have to give to get and the more you give of yourself without
the more you give of yourself without
the more you give of yourself without expectation of return the more that will
expectation of return the more that will
expectation of return the more that will come back to you in the most unexpected
come back to you in the most unexpected
come back to you in the most unexpected ways before you know people ask me about
ways before you know people ask me about
ways before you know people ask me about college people ask me about Mentors you
college people ask me about Mentors you
college people ask me about Mentors you got to get in however you can at the
got to get in however you can at the
got to get in however you can at the ground level with somebody go work for
ground level with somebody go work for
ground level with somebody go work for free and then be impressive so that’s
free and then be impressive so that’s
free and then be impressive so that’s the second part you know first part is
the second part you know first part is
the second part you know first part is get your foot in the door no matter how
get your foot in the door no matter how
get your foot in the door no matter how you can ideally in something you could
you can ideally in something you could
you can ideally in something you could see yourself doing for 20 years you can
see yourself doing for 20 years you can
see yourself doing for 20 years you can get the formal education leader to back
get the formal education leader to back
get the formal education leader to back it if if need be but first make sure
it if if need be but first make sure
it if if need be but first make sure it’s the right thing by getting your
it’s the right thing by getting your
it’s the right thing by getting your foot in the door some of you might need
foot in the door some of you might need
foot in the door some of you might need to get your foot in the door few places
to get your foot in the door few places
to get your foot in the door few places because you’re not sure what you should
because you’re not sure what you should
because you’re not sure what you should do this is how you get a mentor and how
do this is how you get a mentor and how
do this is how you get a mentor and how you find your business destiny a lot of
you find your business destiny a lot of
you find your business destiny a lot of experiments then like I said secondly
experiments then like I said secondly
experiments then like I said secondly and people forget the second part so
and people forget the second part so
and people forget the second part so they come and say Todd did what you said
they come and say Todd did what you said
they come and say Todd did what you said and it didn’t work you know I read this
and it didn’t work you know I read this
and it didn’t work you know I read this as this stuff’s not working well I’m
as this stuff’s not working well I’m
as this stuff’s not working well I’m part of my hair by the way just woke up
part of my hair by the way just woke up
part of my hair by the way just woke up I say did you do number two the second
I say did you do number two the second
I say did you do number two the second component which is were you impressive
component which is were you impressive
component which is were you impressive how do you become impressive no stuff
how do you become impressive no stuff
how do you become impressive no stuff beyond time ownership I was talking
beyond time ownership I was talking
beyond time ownership I was talking about that you got to take ownership man
about that you got to take ownership man
about that you got to take ownership man the world’s so full of people that are
the world’s so full of people that are
the world’s so full of people that are just so focused on themselves that they
just so focused on themselves that they
just so focused on themselves that they forget you get promotions by impressing
forget you get promotions by impressing
forget you get promotions by impressing other people so you have to be
other people so you have to be
other people so you have to be impressive for them people say I’m not
impressive for them people say I’m not
impressive for them people say I’m not gonna do stuff for other people why not
gonna do stuff for other people why not
gonna do stuff for other people why not why not that’s how you get ahead you got
why not that’s how you get ahead you got
why not that’s how you get ahead you got a hooker as he says hit your wagon to a
a hooker as he says hit your wagon to a
a hooker as he says hit your wagon to a to something that’s going somewhere so
to something that’s going somewhere so
to something that’s going somewhere so people that are impressive they only
people that are impressive they only
people that are impressive they only want to be around impressive people that
want to be around impressive people that
want to be around impressive people that old saying you know like attracts like
old saying you know like attracts like
old saying you know like attracts like it’s not true as much as people think
it’s not true as much as people think
it’s not true as much as people think like the secret but that is somewhat of
like the secret but that is somewhat of
like the secret but that is somewhat of if you study psychology certainly
if you study psychology certainly
if you study psychology certainly Angelina Jolie it’s no coincidence she’s
Angelina Jolie it’s no coincidence she’s
Angelina Jolie it’s no coincidence she’s married to someone who’s kind of her
married to someone who’s kind of her
married to someone who’s kind of her male equivalent same in business same
male equivalent same in business same
male equivalent same in business same and mentors same in business
and mentors same in business
and mentors same in business partnerships same in opportunities
partnerships same in opportunities
partnerships same in opportunities people want to be around amazing people
people want to be around amazing people
people want to be around amazing people why I’m big on reading knowledge is
why I’m big on reading knowledge is
why I’m big on reading knowledge is because not only does it revolutionize
because not only does it revolutionize
because not only does it revolutionize your own life but it impresses people
your own life but it impresses people
your own life but it impresses people not that you want to do it to impress
not that you want to do it to impress
not that you want to do it to impress but it’s a nice added bonus little perk
but it’s a nice added bonus little perk
but it’s a nice added bonus little perk you know so get out there if you don’t
you know so get out there if you don’t
you know so get out there if you don’t know what you’re doing and even if you
know what you’re doing and even if you
know what you’re doing and even if you do know what you’re doing member Sam
do know what you’re doing member Sam
do know what you’re doing member Sam Walton spent a lot of time with
Walton spent a lot of time with
Walton spent a lot of time with competitors get out there don’t be
competitors get out there don’t be
competitors get out there don’t be afraid to start at the ground floor
afraid to start at the ground floor
afraid to start at the ground floor whether it’s with the mentor our new
whether it’s with the mentor our new
whether it’s with the mentor our new business opportunity don’t skip ahead
business opportunity don’t skip ahead
business opportunity don’t skip ahead and then make sure you’re very
and then make sure you’re very
and then make sure you’re very impressive show up early take ownership
impressive show up early take ownership
impressive show up early take ownership act like whatever you’re doing you own a
act like whatever you’re doing you own a
act like whatever you’re doing you own a hundred percent of the shares in it even
hundred percent of the shares in it even
hundred percent of the shares in it even if you you know are sweeping the floor
if you you know are sweeping the floor
if you you know are sweeping the floor this is the part that can be tricky
this is the part that can be tricky
this is the part that can be tricky connect with courage so a little bit
connect with courage so a little bit
connect with courage so a little bit about my background I grew up in Fresno
about my background I grew up in Fresno
about my background I grew up in Fresno and I am half Armenian however I am NOT
and I am half Armenian however I am NOT
and I am half Armenian however I am NOT close personal friends with the
close personal friends with the
close personal friends with the Kardashians nor do I have their social
Kardashians nor do I have their social
Kardashians nor do I have their social or professional connections so about ten
or professional connections so about ten
or professional connections so about ten years ago when my co-author Susan Murphy
years ago when my co-author Susan Murphy
years ago when my co-author Susan Murphy and I had this crazy idea to write a
and I had this crazy idea to write a
and I had this crazy idea to write a book and interview 50 CEOs and protegees
book and interview 50 CEOs and protegees
book and interview 50 CEOs and protegees we had no connections and really no
we had no connections and really no
we had no connections and really no business doing this at all so we set out
business doing this at all so we set out
business doing this at all so we set out we said wouldn’t it be cool if we
we said wouldn’t it be cool if we
we said wouldn’t it be cool if we interviewed people from media technology
interviewed people from media technology
interviewed people from media technology and politics like the CEO of NBC and the
and politics like the CEO of NBC and the
and politics like the CEO of NBC and the CEO of Universal and the u.s. treasurer
CEO of Universal and the u.s. treasurer
CEO of Universal and the u.s. treasurer but we didn’t know how to connect with
but we didn’t know how to connect with
but we didn’t know how to connect with them so we devised this process which
them so we devised this process which
them so we devised this process which which 10 years later has become this
which 10 years later has become this
which 10 years later has become this whole how to get a mentor and turned
whole how to get a mentor and turned
whole how to get a mentor and turned into an assignment I give my students
into an assignment I give my students
into an assignment I give my students every single semester and it
every single semester and it
every single semester and it like this when you want to connect with
like this when you want to connect with
like this when you want to connect with someone you make a hit list or a target
someone you make a hit list or a target
someone you make a hit list or a target list of who you want to connect with and
list of who you want to connect with and
list of who you want to connect with and then you research or cyber sleuth them
then you research or cyber sleuth them
then you research or cyber sleuth them it’s so much easier these days with
it’s so much easier these days with
it’s so much easier these days with LinkedIn to do that so find out
LinkedIn to do that so find out
LinkedIn to do that so find out everything about them find out where
everything about them find out where
everything about them find out where they went to school and who they know
they went to school and who they know
they went to school and who they know and then try to find someone who knows
and then try to find someone who knows
and then try to find someone who knows them that can provide a warm connect
them that can provide a warm connect
them that can provide a warm connect that way you’re not having that
that way you’re not having that
that way you’re not having that uncomfortable cold connection feeling
uncomfortable cold connection feeling
uncomfortable cold connection feeling and if you keep going with that
and if you keep going with that
and if you keep going with that sometimes it took us three or four or
sometimes it took us three or four or
sometimes it took us three or four or five meetings to meet the person who
five meetings to meet the person who
five meetings to meet the person who could who could provide the warm connect
could who could provide the warm connect
could who could provide the warm connect chances are that you’ll put people in a
chances are that you’ll put people in a
chances are that you’ll put people in a better position to say yes to you so
better position to say yes to you so
better position to say yes to you so that part’s really important but the
that part’s really important but the
that part’s really important but the part I left out is the courage part and
part I left out is the courage part and
part I left out is the courage part and this is something that I really have not
this is something that I really have not
this is something that I really have not shared before I don’t know why it’s
shared before I don’t know why it’s
shared before I don’t know why it’s probably because it’s embarrassing but
probably because it’s embarrassing but
probably because it’s embarrassing but I’m gonna share it with you today and
I’m gonna share it with you today and
I’m gonna share it with you today and and that’s the courage part so how do
and that’s the courage part so how do
and that’s the courage part so how do you get the courage to do that I have to
you get the courage to do that I have to
you get the courage to do that I have to tell you when I make a connection with
tell you when I make a connection with
tell you when I make a connection with someone I have a stomachache before I do
someone I have a stomachache before I do
someone I have a stomachache before I do it it’s intimidating it’s scary so I had
it it’s intimidating it’s scary so I had
it it’s intimidating it’s scary so I had to devise a ritual for myself of that I
to devise a ritual for myself of that I
to devise a ritual for myself of that I would use before I would connect and so
would use before I would connect and so
would use before I would connect and so my ritual is actually a song and the
my ritual is actually a song and the
my ritual is actually a song and the song is by Janice Stanfield if you are
song is by Janice Stanfield if you are
song is by Janice Stanfield if you are brave so I’m gonna demo some courage
brave so I’m gonna demo some courage
brave so I’m gonna demo some courage today
what would I do today if I were brave so
what would I do today if I were brave so you can see why thank God I stayed in
you can see why thank God I stayed in
you can see why thank God I stayed in graduate school thank God for tenure cuz
graduate school thank God for tenure cuz
graduate school thank God for tenure cuz my singing career is going nowhere you
my singing career is going nowhere you
my singing career is going nowhere you maybe don’t want to do your courage
maybe don’t want to do your courage
maybe don’t want to do your courage ritual in front of an audience when
ritual in front of an audience when
ritual in front of an audience when you’re being televised maybe that wasn’t
you’re being televised maybe that wasn’t
you’re being televised maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing ever but seriously
the smartest thing ever but seriously
the smartest thing ever but seriously that’s my song and I do it every time I
that’s my song and I do it every time I
that’s my song and I do it every time I have to do something difficult like
have to do something difficult like
have to do something difficult like reaching out to get a mentor so you need
reaching out to get a mentor so you need
reaching out to get a mentor so you need a song or you need dance or a poem or a
a song or you need dance or a poem or a
a song or you need dance or a poem or a quote or a mantra or a prayer or a
quote or a mantra or a prayer or a
quote or a mantra or a prayer or a ritual something that you do here’s some
ritual something that you do here’s some
ritual something that you do here’s some tips on how to find a good mentor every
tips on how to find a good mentor every
tips on how to find a good mentor every one of us need someone who’s gone down
one of us need someone who’s gone down
one of us need someone who’s gone down the path before us look out there in the
the path before us look out there in the
the path before us look out there in the world and see people that are already
world and see people that are already
world and see people that are already doing what you want to do maybe they’re
doing what you want to do maybe they’re
doing what you want to do maybe they’re ahead of you in life they’re
ahead of you in life they’re
ahead of you in life they’re professional and they’re doing what you
professional and they’re doing what you
professional and they’re doing what you want to do maybe they’re your boss maybe
want to do maybe they’re your boss maybe
want to do maybe they’re your boss maybe it’s someone in another industry but
it’s someone in another industry but
it’s someone in another industry but identify that person and once you’ve
identify that person and once you’ve
identify that person and once you’ve identified them call them or write them
identified them call them or write them
identified them call them or write them and say you know could I spend 10
and say you know could I spend 10
and say you know could I spend 10 minutes a week with you on the phone
minutes a week with you on the phone
minutes a week with you on the phone start with a small request and what
start with a small request and what
start with a small request and what we’ve always found is that when you
we’ve always found is that when you
we’ve always found is that when you start with a small request they’ll let
start with a small request they’ll let
start with a small request they’ll let it expand if they enjoy spending time
it expand if they enjoy spending time
it expand if they enjoy spending time with you but if you ask for an hour
with you but if you ask for an hour
with you but if you ask for an hour it’ll feel overwhelming to them and just
it’ll feel overwhelming to them and just
it’ll feel overwhelming to them and just tell them you you respect them you
tell them you you respect them you
tell them you you respect them you admire them and you’d like to learn from
admire them and you’d like to learn from
admire them and you’d like to learn from them and if you do that and you’ll do
them and if you do that and you’ll do
them and if you do that and you’ll do the things that they tell you to do and
the things that they tell you to do and
the things that they tell you to do and report back to them you know you asked
report back to them you know you asked
report back to them you know you asked me to do this you told me to do that and
me to do this you told me to do that and
me to do this you told me to do that and I did it then they’re gonna feel
I did it then they’re gonna feel
I did it then they’re gonna feel empowered that they’re empowering you
empowered that they’re empowering you
empowered that they’re empowering you and they’re gonna want to keep doing
and they’re gonna want to keep doing
and they’re gonna want to keep doing that because we love to help other
that because we love to help other
that because we love to help other people so don’t be afraid to ask reach
people so don’t be afraid to ask reach
people so don’t be afraid to ask reach out reach out to the people you want if
out reach out to the people you want if
out reach out to the people you want if you get a no ask someone else never give
you get a no ask someone else never give
you get a no ask someone else never give up on your dream to have the perfect
up on your dream to have the perfect
up on your dream to have the perfect mentor there are a lot of people out
mentor there are a lot of people out
mentor there are a lot of people out there that can help you it’s not just
there that can help you it’s not just
there that can help you it’s not just one person so ask ask ask until you get
one person so ask ask ask until you get
one person so ask ask ask until you get what you want and then also end by
what you want and then also end by
what you want and then also end by always thanking them you can send them a
always thanking them you can send them a
always thanking them you can send them a little present then introduce them to
little present then introduce them to
little present then introduce them to other people maybe send them an article
other people maybe send them an article
other people maybe send them an article that would be interesting to them give
that would be interesting to them give
that would be interesting to them give value to them so that they’ll be glad to
value to them so that they’ll be glad to
value to them so that they’ll be glad to give value back
give value back
give value back you thank you guys so much for watching
you thank you guys so much for watching
you thank you guys so much for watching I made this episode of believe life
I made this episode of believe life
I made this episode of believe life because Phil Jie asked me to so there’s
because Phil Jie asked me to so there’s
because Phil Jie asked me to so there’s a topic that you want me to cover in
a topic that you want me to cover in
a topic that you want me to cover in next week’s episode a believe life leave
next week’s episode a believe life leave
next week’s episode a believe life leave it in the comments below and I’ll see
it in the comments below and I’ll see
it in the comments below and I’ll see what I can do I’d also love to know
what I can do I’d also love to know
what I can do I’d also love to know which of the techniques we talked about
which of the techniques we talked about
which of the techniques we talked about today left the biggest impact on you
today left the biggest impact on you
today left the biggest impact on you leave in the comments and I’ll join the
leave in the comments and I’ll join the
leave in the comments and I’ll join the discussion thank you so much for
discussion thank you so much for
discussion thank you so much for watching have a great day
watching have a great day
watching have a great day continue to believe and I’ll see you
continue to believe and I’ll see you
continue to believe and I’ll see you soon
”
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