when people tell us something we don’t want to hear our first reaction is
want to hear our first reaction is
want to hear our first reaction is they’re wrong and they’re confused
they’re wrong and they’re confused
they’re wrong and they’re confused sometimes it’s hard to look in that
sometimes it’s hard to look in that
sometimes it’s hard to look in that mirror and say you know what maybe I’m
mirror and say you know what maybe I’m
mirror and say you know what maybe I’m wrong you know you’re you ever go online
wrong you know you’re you ever go online
wrong you know you’re you ever go online you’re going to look up something take
you’re going to look up something take
you’re going to look up something take three minutes three hours later you’re
three minutes three hours later you’re
three minutes three hours later you’re still in line you don’t know why you
still in line you don’t know why you
still in line you don’t know why you want to line the first place the Great
want to line the first place the Great
want to line the first place the Great Western disease is I will be happy when
Western disease is I will be happy when
Western disease is I will be happy when when I get the money the status the BMW
when I get the money the status the BMW
when I get the money the status the BMW the condominium when I get this I will
the condominium when I get this I will
the condominium when I get this I will be happy he’s an American leadership
be happy he’s an American leadership
be happy he’s an American leadership coach and author of several management
coach and author of several management
coach and author of several management related books he’s been recognized as
related books he’s been recognized as
related books he’s been recognized as one of the top leadership thinkers in
one of the top leadership thinkers in
one of the top leadership thinkers in the world he’s the author of 35 books
the world he’s the author of 35 books
the world he’s the author of 35 books which have sold over 2 million copies
which have sold over 2 million copies
which have sold over 2 million copies worldwide
worldwide
worldwide he’s Marshall Goldsmith and here’s my
he’s Marshall Goldsmith and here’s my
he’s Marshall Goldsmith and here’s my take on his top 10 rules for success
take on his top 10 rules for success
take on his top 10 rules for success rule number 3 is my personal favorite I
rule number 3 is my personal favorite I
rule number 3 is my personal favorite I make sure to stick around all the way to
make sure to stick around all the way to
make sure to stick around all the way to the end for some special bonus clips and
the end for some special bonus clips and
the end for some special bonus clips and as always if Marshall says something
as always if Marshall says something
as always if Marshall says something that really resonates with you leave it
that really resonates with you leave it
that really resonates with you leave it in the comments below as he’s saying it
in the comments below as he’s saying it
in the comments below as he’s saying it and put quotes around it so other people
and put quotes around it so other people
and put quotes around it so other people can be inspired as well
it’s very easy to see what we don’t like
it’s very easy to see what we don’t like about ourselves in other people it’s a
about ourselves in other people it’s a
about ourselves in other people it’s a little harder to see what we don’t like
little harder to see what we don’t like
little harder to see what we don’t like about ourselves in the mirror and
about ourselves in the mirror and
about ourselves in the mirror and sometimes other people can see things in
sometimes other people can see things in
sometimes other people can see things in us that we don’t want to see in
us that we don’t want to see in
us that we don’t want to see in ourselves and when that happens our
ourselves and when that happens our
ourselves and when that happens our first reaction is you’re wrong you’re
first reaction is you’re wrong you’re
first reaction is you’re wrong you’re confused what people tell us something
confused what people tell us something
confused what people tell us something we don’t want to hear our first reaction
we don’t want to hear our first reaction
we don’t want to hear our first reaction is they’re wrong and they’re confused
is they’re wrong and they’re confused
is they’re wrong and they’re confused sometimes it’s hard to look in that
sometimes it’s hard to look in that
sometimes it’s hard to look in that mirror and say you know what maybe I’m
mirror and say you know what maybe I’m
mirror and say you know what maybe I’m wrong and maybe I’m confused
wrong and maybe I’m confused
wrong and maybe I’m confused what did I learn sometimes other people
what did I learn sometimes other people
what did I learn sometimes other people can see some of us we can’t see in
can see some of us we can’t see in
can see some of us we can’t see in ourselves and our first reaction is
ourselves and our first reaction is
ourselves and our first reaction is they’re confused a great challenge learn
they’re confused a great challenge learn
they’re confused a great challenge learn to listen to other people hear what they
to listen to other people hear what they
to listen to other people hear what they have to say and recognize sometimes they
have to say and recognize sometimes they
have to say and recognize sometimes they can see something in us that we don’t
can see something in us that we don’t
can see something in us that we don’t want to see in ourselves
want to see in ourselves
want to see in ourselves we have something called the monkey mind
we have something called the monkey mind
we have something called the monkey mind our monkey mind is our mind is in many
our monkey mind is our mind is in many
our monkey mind is our mind is in many ways like a monkey swinging through the
ways like a monkey swinging through the
ways like a monkey swinging through the vines in the jungle you know thinking
vines in the jungle you know thinking
vines in the jungle you know thinking maintaining meaning going from this
maintaining meaning going from this
maintaining meaning going from this thing to thing and the Internet provides
thing to thing and the Internet provides
thing to thing and the Internet provides amphetamines for the monkey mind you
amphetamines for the monkey mind you
amphetamines for the monkey mind you know you’re you ever go online you’re
know you’re you ever go online you’re
know you’re you ever go online you’re going to look up something’s going to
going to look up something’s going to
going to look up something’s going to take three minutes
take three minutes
take three minutes three hours later you’re still in line
three hours later you’re still in line
three hours later you’re still in line you don’t know why you want to line the
you don’t know why you want to line the
you don’t know why you want to line the first place monkey mind me me me me me
first place monkey mind me me me me me
first place monkey mind me me me me me me me me it’s very hard to kind of calm
me me me it’s very hard to kind of calm
me me me it’s very hard to kind of calm down the monkey mind do you have
down the monkey mind do you have
down the monkey mind do you have concrete techniques for calming the
concrete techniques for calming the
concrete techniques for calming the monkey mind yeah the more you measure
monkey mind yeah the more you measure
monkey mind yeah the more you measure things the less likely you are to have
things the less likely you are to have
things the less likely you are to have this happen and also the more we admit
this happen and also the more we admit
this happen and also the more we admit we need help in structure when you get
we need help in structure when you get
we need help in structure when you get over that macho I can do everything on
over that macho I can do everything on
over that macho I can do everything on my own nonsense life is better so if you
my own nonsense life is better so if you
my own nonsense life is better so if you know look I’m going to go online let’s
know look I’m going to go online let’s
know look I’m going to go online let’s look at my history here I’m going to set
look at my history here I’m going to set
look at my history here I’m going to set the alarm clock off so in five minutes
the alarm clock off so in five minutes
the alarm clock off so in five minutes this alarm clock is going to go off and
this alarm clock is going to go off and
this alarm clock is going to go off and I’m not going to be online anymore you
I’m not going to be online anymore you
I’m not going to be online anymore you know you might say that sounds childish
know you might say that sounds childish
know you might say that sounds childish well if you don’t do it guess what
well if you don’t do it guess what
well if you don’t do it guess what Shh the Great Western disease is I will
Shh the Great Western disease is I will
Shh the Great Western disease is I will be happy when when I get the money the
be happy when when I get the money the
be happy when when I get the money the status the BMW the condominium when I
status the BMW the condominium when I
status the BMW the condominium when I get
get
get this I will be happy well this is the
this I will be happy well this is the
this I will be happy well this is the Great Western message and it’s supported
Great Western message and it’s supported
Great Western message and it’s supported by what I call the Great Western art
by what I call the Great Western art
by what I call the Great Western art form now what is the right Western art
form now what is the right Western art
form now what is the right Western art form this is something you’ve seen in
form this is something you’ve seen in
form this is something you’ve seen in your life probably hundreds of thousands
your life probably hundreds of thousands
your life probably hundreds of thousands perhaps millions of times it’s always
perhaps millions of times it’s always
perhaps millions of times it’s always the same story the story sounds like
the same story the story sounds like
the same story the story sounds like this there is a person person is sad
this there is a person person is sad
this there is a person person is sad they spend money to buy product and they
they spend money to buy product and they
they spend money to buy product and they become happy this is called the
become happy this is called the
become happy this is called the commercial have you ever seen one of
commercial have you ever seen one of
commercial have you ever seen one of those before the message is always the
those before the message is always the
those before the message is always the same it’s not in here it’s out there I
same it’s not in here it’s out there I
same it’s not in here it’s out there I will be happy when the reality is
will be happy when the reality is
will be happy when the reality is lottery winners have been studied to
lottery winners have been studied to
lottery winners have been studied to death and when someone wins the lottery
death and when someone wins the lottery
death and when someone wins the lottery within three years statistically they’re
within three years statistically they’re
within three years statistically they’re not much happier than they were to start
not much happier than they were to start
not much happier than they were to start with what’s been learned as happiness
with what’s been learned as happiness
with what’s been learned as happiness doesn’t come from the outside most of
doesn’t come from the outside most of
doesn’t come from the outside most of happiness comes from the inside well the
happiness comes from the inside well the
happiness comes from the inside well the great employee engagement myth is the
great employee engagement myth is the
great employee engagement myth is the employees will be engaged win when we
employees will be engaged win when we
employees will be engaged win when we give them this program when we do this
give them this program when we do this
give them this program when we do this process they will be engaged win well
process they will be engaged win well
process they will be engaged win well that’s partially true I mean better
that’s partially true I mean better
that’s partially true I mean better leaders lead to more engagement and
leaders lead to more engagement and
leaders lead to more engagement and better recognition leads to more
better recognition leads to more
better recognition leads to more engagement the reality is also though a
engagement the reality is also though a
engagement the reality is also though a lot of employee engagement doesn’t come
lot of employee engagement doesn’t come
lot of employee engagement doesn’t come from the outside a lot of employee
from the outside a lot of employee
from the outside a lot of employee engagement comes from the inside and one
engagement comes from the inside and one
engagement comes from the inside and one of the things that I’m going to talk
of the things that I’m going to talk
of the things that I’m going to talk about is how do you create an
about is how do you create an
about is how do you create an environment where people take
environment where people take
environment where people take responsibility for their own engagement
responsibility for their own engagement
responsibility for their own engagement and instead of focusing on I will be
and instead of focusing on I will be
and instead of focusing on I will be engaged when the company does something
engaged when the company does something
engaged when the company does something for me take responsibility for their own
for me take responsibility for their own
for me take responsibility for their own engagement and say I can engage myself
engagement and say I can engage myself
engagement and say I can engage myself flying less do more we spend an
flying less do more we spend an
flying less do more we spend an inordinate amount of time in life
inordinate amount of time in life
inordinate amount of time in life whining typically whining about
whining typically whining about
whining typically whining about decision-makers whining about decisions
decision-makers whining about decisions
decision-makers whining about decisions I’m going to talk about five of my
I’m going to talk about five of my
I’m going to talk about five of my favorite wines and then we’ll talk about
favorite wines and then we’ll talk about
favorite wines and then we’ll talk about how many times you’ve heard these and
how many times you’ve heard these and
how many times you’ve heard these and then look in the mirror and say how many
then look in the mirror and say how many
then look in the mirror and say how many times have I done it myself that first
times have I done it myself that first
times have I done it myself that first wine is called it’s not
wine is called it’s not
wine is called it’s not fair it’s not fair the decision-maker
fair it’s not fair the decision-maker
fair it’s not fair the decision-maker makes the decision we conclude it’s not
makes the decision we conclude it’s not
makes the decision we conclude it’s not fair
fair
fair decisions have nothing to do with
decisions have nothing to do with
decisions have nothing to do with fairness every decision is made by the
fairness every decision is made by the
fairness every decision is made by the person who has a power to make the
person who has a power to make the
person who has a power to make the decision not a fair person right person
decision not a fair person right person
decision not a fair person right person or logical person it’s made by that
or logical person it’s made by that
or logical person it’s made by that person the decision-maker is the
person the decision-maker is the
person the decision-maker is the customer and our job is to influence the
customer and our job is to influence the
customer and our job is to influence the decision-maker not to just judge other
decision-maker not to just judge other
decision-maker not to just judge other people as Peter Drucker said our job in
people as Peter Drucker said our job in
people as Peter Drucker said our job in life is to make a positive difference
life is to make a positive difference
life is to make a positive difference not prove we’re right well it’s not fair
not prove we’re right well it’s not fair
not prove we’re right well it’s not fair the kid comes home from school daddy
the kid comes home from school daddy
the kid comes home from school daddy mommy I got a C on my report card I
mommy I got a C on my report card I
mommy I got a C on my report card I should have gotten an A it’s not fair a
should have gotten an A it’s not fair a
should have gotten an A it’s not fair a great learning experience for the child
great learning experience for the child
great learning experience for the child decisions aren’t made based on fairness
decisions aren’t made based on fairness
decisions aren’t made based on fairness you did not sell the teacher the teacher
you did not sell the teacher the teacher
you did not sell the teacher the teacher was the decision-maker the teacher
was the decision-maker the teacher
was the decision-maker the teacher thought you should have given a C you
thought you should have given a C you
thought you should have given a C you thought you should made an A well you’re
thought you should made an A well you’re
thought you should made an A well you’re doing grade your own paper the teacher
doing grade your own paper the teacher
doing grade your own paper the teacher graded the paper you got to see there’s
graded the paper you got to see there’s
graded the paper you got to see there’s always a teacher there’s always a boss
always a teacher there’s always a boss
always a teacher there’s always a boss there’s always a customer there’s always
there’s always a customer there’s always
there’s always a customer there’s always somebody and it’s never really fair
somebody and it’s never really fair
somebody and it’s never really fair another common wine is it’s not smart
another common wine is it’s not smart
another common wine is it’s not smart yeah they’re doing that and they think
yeah they’re doing that and they think
yeah they’re doing that and they think it’s fair but it’s not smart I have a
it’s fair but it’s not smart I have a
it’s fair but it’s not smart I have a much better idea in the world would be
much better idea in the world would be
much better idea in the world would be better if they did it my way well
better if they did it my way well
better if they did it my way well sometimes the world doesn’t ask us how
sometimes the world doesn’t ask us how
sometimes the world doesn’t ask us how we want to do things and we’ve got to do
we want to do things and we’ve got to do
we want to do things and we’ve got to do things that others do it and maybe their
things that others do it and maybe their
things that others do it and maybe their definition of smart is a little bit
definition of smart is a little bit
definition of smart is a little bit different than then our definition of
different than then our definition of
different than then our definition of smart and a favorite among engineers
smart and a favorite among engineers
smart and a favorite among engineers that’s related to these two is it’s not
that’s related to these two is it’s not
that’s related to these two is it’s not logical people with technical background
logical people with technical background
logical people with technical background scientists engineers constantly look for
scientists engineers constantly look for
scientists engineers constantly look for logic where none exists and then we’re
logic where none exists and then we’re
logic where none exists and then we’re shocked because we can’t find it now I
shocked because we can’t find it now I
shocked because we can’t find it now I have a degree in mathematical economics
have a degree in mathematical economics
have a degree in mathematical economics I went to an engineering school so I
I went to an engineering school so I
I went to an engineering school so I include myself in this category too much
include myself in this category too much
include myself in this category too much of my life has been wasted looking for
of my life has been wasted looking for
of my life has been wasted looking for logic where none exists and being
logic where none exists and being
logic where none exists and being shocked when I can’t find it well
shocked when I can’t find it well
shocked when I can’t find it well decisions are not always made based on
decisions are not always made based on
decisions are not always made based on logic oftentimes crazy people make
logic oftentimes crazy people make
logic oftentimes crazy people make decisions and it’s not logical sometimes
decisions and it’s not logical sometimes
decisions and it’s not logical sometimes we say well they think it’s logical and
we say well they think it’s logical and
we say well they think it’s logical and they’re they try to be fair it’s just
they’re they try to be fair it’s just
they’re they try to be fair it’s just the
the
the wrong decision they mean well it’s just
wrong decision they mean well it’s just
wrong decision they mean well it’s just not right it’s not right well again we
not right it’s not right well again we
not right it’s not right well again we don’t get to necessarily as we wander
don’t get to necessarily as we wander
don’t get to necessarily as we wander through life decide what is or isn’t
through life decide what is or isn’t
through life decide what is or isn’t right in our definition of right what
right in our definition of right what
right in our definition of right what might not be somebody else’s another big
might not be somebody else’s another big
might not be somebody else’s another big favorite is it’s not their job it’s my
favorite is it’s not their job it’s my
favorite is it’s not their job it’s my job it’s not their job it’s my job
job it’s not their job it’s my job
job it’s not their job it’s my job leave it or not I see this with a lot of
leave it or not I see this with a lot of
leave it or not I see this with a lot of CEOs I coach shockingly I worked with a
CEOs I coach shockingly I worked with a
CEOs I coach shockingly I worked with a CEO of a private equity firm private
CEO of a private equity firm private
CEO of a private equity firm private equity they own the company I was hired
equity they own the company I was hired
equity they own the company I was hired by the owners you know what he said they
by the owners you know what he said they
by the owners you know what he said they can’t tell me what to do it’s not their
can’t tell me what to do it’s not their
can’t tell me what to do it’s not their job I’m the CEO shockingly you’d be
job I’m the CEO shockingly you’d be
job I’m the CEO shockingly you’d be surprised how many people become
surprised how many people become
surprised how many people become brain-dead when they become CEOs I’m the
brain-dead when they become CEOs I’m the
brain-dead when they become CEOs I’m the CEO they can’t tell me what to do I had
CEO they can’t tell me what to do I had
CEO they can’t tell me what to do I had to sit down and say they own the company
to sit down and say they own the company
to sit down and say they own the company it’s their money they can indeed tell
it’s their money they can indeed tell
it’s their money they can indeed tell you what to do you see you work for them
you what to do you see you work for them
you what to do you see you work for them they do not work for you
they do not work for you
they do not work for you I had another CEO at the same problem in
I had another CEO at the same problem in
I had another CEO at the same problem in a publicly traded company with his board
a publicly traded company with his board
a publicly traded company with his board I had to sit down and say excuse me the
I had to sit down and say excuse me the
I had to sit down and say excuse me the Board of Directors rightly or wrongly
Board of Directors rightly or wrongly
Board of Directors rightly or wrongly represents the ownership of the company
represents the ownership of the company
represents the ownership of the company the board does not report to you you
the board does not report to you you
the board does not report to you you actually report to the board now
actually report to the board now
actually report to the board now fortunately in most cases as a coach
fortunately in most cases as a coach
fortunately in most cases as a coach I’ve been successful I’ve had a failure
I’ve been successful I’ve had a failure
I’ve been successful I’ve had a failure I had a failure where a person never
I had a failure where a person never
I had a failure where a person never really quite got it now as we look at
really quite got it now as we look at
really quite got it now as we look at decision making realize one thing our
decision making realize one thing our
decision making realize one thing our job is to make a positive difference not
job is to make a positive difference not
job is to make a positive difference not to go through life critiquing everybody
to go through life critiquing everybody
to go through life critiquing everybody else with our infinite wisdom and
else with our infinite wisdom and
else with our infinite wisdom and whining and again some of the favorite
whining and again some of the favorite
whining and again some of the favorite wines we’ve talked about it’s not right
wines we’ve talked about it’s not right
wines we’ve talked about it’s not right it’s not fair it’s not smart it’s not
it’s not fair it’s not smart it’s not
it’s not fair it’s not smart it’s not logical it’s not their job
logical it’s not their job
logical it’s not their job we can go through life doing this all we
we can go through life doing this all we
we can go through life doing this all we want to what are we accomplishing
want to what are we accomplishing
want to what are we accomplishing nothing simple guideline for life do
nothing simple guideline for life do
nothing simple guideline for life do more wine less take all the effort you
more wine less take all the effort you
more wine less take all the effort you might have spent on whining and
might have spent on whining and
might have spent on whining and complaining about other people and focus
complaining about other people and focus
complaining about other people and focus on making a positive difference
on making a positive difference
on making a positive difference try to influence those other people
try to influence those other people
try to influence those other people don’t waste so much time judging
don’t waste so much time judging
don’t waste so much time judging critiquing and whining so now I’m
critiquing and whining so now I’m
critiquing and whining so now I’m working with my daughter Kelly she’s a
working with my daughter Kelly she’s a
working with my daughter Kelly she’s a professor at the Kellogg School of
professor at the Kellogg School of
professor at the Kellogg School of northwestern marketing professor
northwestern marketing professor
northwestern marketing professor she taught me this thing called active
she taught me this thing called active
she taught me this thing called active questions which I’m going to recommend
questions which I’m going to recommend
questions which I’m going to recommend to all your viewers active questions
to all your viewers active questions
to all your viewers active questions that all started with did I do my best
that all started with did I do my best
that all started with did I do my best to because that’s the one thing we have
to because that’s the one thing we have
to because that’s the one thing we have total control over did I do my best I
total control over did I do my best I
total control over did I do my best I can’t blame you if I didn’t do my best
can’t blame you if I didn’t do my best
can’t blame you if I didn’t do my best back to accountability that’s something
back to accountability that’s something
back to accountability that’s something you can’t hide from right so the six I
you can’t hide from right so the six I
you can’t hide from right so the six I recommend every day and there I do this
recommend every day and there I do this
recommend every day and there I do this daily question process every day these
daily question process every day these
daily question process every day these are now my first six number one did I do
are now my first six number one did I do
are now my first six number one did I do my best to set clear goals red sign did
my best to set clear goals red sign did
my best to set clear goals red sign did somebody else set goals for me too I do
somebody else set goals for me too I do
somebody else set goals for me too I do my best to set my own goals too did I do
my best to set my own goals too did I do
my best to set my own goals too did I do my best to make progress toward
my best to make progress toward
my best to make progress toward achieving my goals
achieving my goals
achieving my goals number three did I do my best to find
number three did I do my best to find
number three did I do my best to find meaning rather than saying did somebody
meaning rather than saying did somebody
meaning rather than saying did somebody else give me meaning or create meaning
else give me meaning or create meaning
else give me meaning or create meaning did I do my best to create meaning
did I do my best to create meaning
did I do my best to create meaning myself number four did I do my best to
myself number four did I do my best to
myself number four did I do my best to be happy rather than did somebody else
be happy rather than did somebody else
be happy rather than did somebody else make me happy did I do my best to make
make me happy did I do my best to make
make me happy did I do my best to make myself happy then number five did I do
myself happy then number five did I do
myself happy then number five did I do my best to build positive relationships
my best to build positive relationships
my best to build positive relationships and then finally did I do my best to be
and then finally did I do my best to be
and then finally did I do my best to be fully engaged every day challenge
fully engaged every day challenge
fully engaged every day challenge yourself for those six questions great
yourself for those six questions great
yourself for those six questions great process a great process and we have
process a great process and we have
process a great process and we have research on this from thousands of
research on this from thousands of
research on this from thousands of people if any of the viewers want to
people if any of the viewers want to
people if any of the viewers want to participate in the research send me an
participate in the research send me an
participate in the research send me an email Marshall with two L’s at Marshall
email Marshall with two L’s at Marshall
email Marshall with two L’s at Marshall Goldsmith come I’ll sign them up for it
Goldsmith come I’ll sign them up for it
Goldsmith come I’ll sign them up for it research is amazing
research is amazing
research is amazing 46% of the people say get better to
46% of the people say get better to
46% of the people say get better to everything ten days later
everything ten days later
everything ten days later seventy-five percent said I got better
seventy-five percent said I got better
seventy-five percent said I got better at four out of six ninety I think four
at four out of six ninety I think four
at four out of six ninety I think four percent said I got better at least one 6
percent said I got better at least one 6
percent said I got better at least one 6 percent stayed the same and zero point
percent stayed the same and zero point
percent stayed the same and zero point something percent get worse just amazing
something percent get worse just amazing
something percent get worse just amazing why every day this gets me to focus not
why every day this gets me to focus not
why every day this gets me to focus not on what I cannot change gets me to focus
on what I cannot change gets me to focus
on what I cannot change gets me to focus on what I can change my favorite advice
on what I can change my favorite advice
on what I can change my favorite advice imagine you’re 95 everyone look up here
imagine you’re 95 everyone look up here
imagine you’re 95 everyone look up here take a deep breath and do your hand like
take a deep breath and do your hand like
take a deep breath and do your hand like this go ahh and Hannah imagine you’re 95
this go ahh and Hannah imagine you’re 95
this go ahh and Hannah imagine you’re 95 and you’re just getting ready to die and
and you’re just getting ready to die and
and you’re just getting ready to die and you’re on that deathbed here comes your
you’re on that deathbed here comes your
you’re on that deathbed here comes your last breath right before you take that
last breath right before you take that
last breath right before you take that breath you’re given a beautiful gift the
breath you’re given a beautiful gift the
breath you’re given a beautiful gift the ability to go back in time and talk to
ability to go back in time and talk to
ability to go back in time and talk to the person in this room the ability to
the person in this room the ability to
the person in this room the ability to help this person be a better leader more
help this person be a better leader more
help this person be a better leader more important the ability
important the ability
important the ability to help this person have a better life
to help this person have a better life
to help this person have a better life what advice would the wise 95 year old
what advice would the wise 95 year old
what advice would the wise 95 year old you who knows what mattered in life and
you who knows what mattered in life and
you who knows what mattered in life and what didn’t have for the you that’s
what didn’t have for the you that’s
what didn’t have for the you that’s sitting here right now you don’t have to
sitting here right now you don’t have to
sitting here right now you don’t have to say anything or do anything just answer
say anything or do anything just answer
say anything or do anything just answer that question in your mind whatever
that question in your mind whatever
that question in your mind whatever you’re thinking now do that terms a
you’re thinking now do that terms a
you’re thinking now do that terms a performance appraisal that’s the only
performance appraisal that’s the only
performance appraisal that’s the only ones going to matter some friends of
ones going to matter some friends of
ones going to matter some friends of mine interviewed old folks who are dying
mine interviewed old folks who are dying
mine interviewed old folks who are dying and asking this question what advice
and asking this question what advice
and asking this question what advice would you have on the personal side
would you have on the personal side
would you have on the personal side three themes theme number one three
three themes theme number one three
three themes theme number one three words be happy now not next week not
words be happy now not next week not
words be happy now not next week not next year not next month be happy now
next year not next month be happy now
next year not next month be happy now Great Western disease I’ll be happy when
Great Western disease I’ll be happy when
Great Western disease I’ll be happy when when I get the money the status the BMW
when I get the money the status the BMW
when I get the money the status the BMW we all have the same when that’ll person
we all have the same when that’ll person
we all have the same when that’ll person is when learning point from old people I
is when learning point from old people I
is when learning point from old people I got so wrapped up chasing what I did not
got so wrapped up chasing what I did not
got so wrapped up chasing what I did not have I could not see what I did have and
have I could not see what I did have and
have I could not see what I did have and I had everything people in this room
I had everything people in this room
I had everything people in this room many of you are among the luckiest
many of you are among the luckiest
many of you are among the luckiest humans who ever lived many of you have
humans who ever lived many of you have
humans who ever lived many of you have friends and family and health and you’re
friends and family and health and you’re
friends and family and health and you’re doing fun work and you’re helping people
doing fun work and you’re helping people
doing fun work and you’re helping people you got it all don’t get so wrapped
you got it all don’t get so wrapped
you got it all don’t get so wrapped chasing what you don’t have you can’t
chasing what you don’t have you can’t
chasing what you don’t have you can’t see it learning point number two and
see it learning point number two and
see it learning point number two and this is point President Clinton made
this is point President Clinton made
this is point President Clinton made friends and family when you’re 95 years
friends and family when you’re 95 years
friends and family when you’re 95 years old and you look around that the
old and you look around that the
old and you look around that the deathbed none of your co-workers are
deathbed none of your co-workers are
deathbed none of your co-workers are waving goodbye you realize these people
waving goodbye you realize these people
waving goodbye you realize these people are kind of important and learning point
are kind of important and learning point
are kind of important and learning point three if you have a dream go for it
three if you have a dream go for it
three if you have a dream go for it because if you don’t go for it when
because if you don’t go for it when
because if you don’t go for it when you’re 35 you may not when you’re 45 and
you’re 35 you may not when you’re 45 and
you’re 35 you may not when you’re 45 and you probably won’t when you’re 85 and
you probably won’t when you’re 85 and
you probably won’t when you’re 85 and doesn’t have to be a big one maybe
doesn’t have to be a big one maybe
doesn’t have to be a big one maybe little one go to New Zealand speak
little one go to New Zealand speak
little one go to New Zealand speak Spanish play a guitar other people think
Spanish play a guitar other people think
Spanish play a guitar other people think your dream is goofy who cares it’s not
your dream is goofy who cares it’s not
your dream is goofy who cares it’s not their dream it’s yours it’s not their
their dream it’s yours it’s not their
their dream it’s yours it’s not their life it’s your life one of the greatest
life it’s your life one of the greatest
life it’s your life one of the greatest thinkers in the history of leadership
thinkers in the history of leadership
thinkers in the history of leadership development is a hero of mine a man
development is a hero of mine a man
development is a hero of mine a man named dr. Warren Bennis and Warren
named dr. Warren Bennis and Warren
named dr. Warren Bennis and Warren Bennis is a wonderful guy guys helped me
Bennis is a wonderful guy guys helped me
Bennis is a wonderful guy guys helped me have a better life and someone I’ve
have a better life and someone I’ve
have a better life and someone I’ve always looked up to Warren told the
always looked up to Warren told the
always looked up to Warren told the story once I I’ll always remember for a
story once I I’ll always remember for a
story once I I’ll always remember for a while he was president of the University
while he was president of the University
while he was president of the University of Cincinnati and he’s not sure he
of Cincinnati and he’s not sure he
of Cincinnati and he’s not sure he wanted to be President for all the right
wanted to be President for all the right
wanted to be President for all the right reasons he was president he was given a
reasons he was president he was given a
reasons he was president he was given a talk in front of a group of people and
talk in front of a group of people and
talk in front of a group of people and when gentleman raised his hand and he
when gentleman raised his hand and he
when gentleman raised his hand and he said dr. Bennis
said dr. Bennis
said dr. Bennis do you love what you do do you love
do you love what you do do you love
do you love what you do do you love being president and Warren said he
being president and Warren said he
being president and Warren said he stopped and there was almost a minute of
stopped and there was almost a minute of
stopped and there was almost a minute of silence eventually he looked at this
silence eventually he looked at this
silence eventually he looked at this person and said I don’t know that moment
person and said I don’t know that moment
person and said I don’t know that moment kind of changed his career he realized
kind of changed his career he realized
kind of changed his career he realized maybe he wasn’t being the president for
maybe he wasn’t being the president for
maybe he wasn’t being the president for the right reasons things like status ego
the right reasons things like status ego
the right reasons things like status ego feeling important
feeling important
feeling important maybe those kicked in over things like
maybe those kicked in over things like
maybe those kicked in over things like doing what I love doing and doing what’s
doing what I love doing and doing what’s
doing what I love doing and doing what’s in my heart well I thought a lot about
in my heart well I thought a lot about
in my heart well I thought a lot about Warren Bennis example do you love what
Warren Bennis example do you love what
Warren Bennis example do you love what you do in the old days if you didn’t
you do in the old days if you didn’t
you do in the old days if you didn’t love what you do it wasn’t so bad for
love what you do it wasn’t so bad for
love what you do it wasn’t so bad for example in 1979 IBM was my biggest
example in 1979 IBM was my biggest
example in 1979 IBM was my biggest customer IBM was the most admired
customer IBM was the most admired
customer IBM was the most admired company in the world
company in the world
company in the world they were the guide company in 1979 I
they were the guide company in 1979 I
they were the guide company in 1979 I could go to our mock New York shoot a
could go to our mock New York shoot a
could go to our mock New York shoot a cannon ball down the hall at five
cannon ball down the hall at five
cannon ball down the hall at five o’clock and hit almost nobody these
o’clock and hit almost nobody these
o’clock and hit almost nobody these people were 35 40 hours a week and they
people were 35 40 hours a week and they
people were 35 40 hours a week and they took five weeks of real vacation I
took five weeks of real vacation I
took five weeks of real vacation I recently talked to the chief Learning
recently talked to the chief Learning
recently talked to the chief Learning Officer at IBM I said about those same
Officer at IBM I said about those same
Officer at IBM I said about those same people in that same building now work 60
people in that same building now work 60
people in that same building now work 60 hours a week
hours a week
hours a week he said wrong 70 hours a week and by the
he said wrong 70 hours a week and by the
he said wrong 70 hours a week and by the way there’s almost no real vacation when
way there’s almost no real vacation when
way there’s almost no real vacation when you take the cell phone with you when
you take the cell phone with you when
you take the cell phone with you when you take the computer with you when you
you take the computer with you when you
you take the computer with you when you go on that vacation you’re constantly
go on that vacation you’re constantly
go on that vacation you’re constantly wired in there’s almost no real vacation
wired in there’s almost no real vacation
wired in there’s almost no real vacation very important point for young people
very important point for young people
very important point for young people today very important point if you can
today very important point if you can
today very important point if you can work 35 or 40 hours a week and take five
work 35 or 40 hours a week and take five
work 35 or 40 hours a week and take five weeks of real vacation and you don’t
weeks of real vacation and you don’t
weeks of real vacation and you don’t love what you do it’s not so bad it’s
love what you do it’s not so bad it’s
love what you do it’s not so bad it’s not so bad
not so bad
not so bad kinda like a half time job anyway if
kinda like a half time job anyway if
kinda like a half time job anyway if you’re working 70 hours a week and you
you’re working 70 hours a week and you
you’re working 70 hours a week and you get no week’s real vacation you do not
get no week’s real vacation you do not
get no week’s real vacation you do not love what you do you’re living in a bad
love what you do you’re living in a bad
love what you do you’re living in a bad place called New Age professional hell
place called New Age professional hell
place called New Age professional hell and too many people are living there
and too many people are living there
and too many people are living there today very important challenge for
today very important challenge for
today very important challenge for people at all ages especially young
people at all ages especially young
people at all ages especially young people realize you’re probably going to
people realize you’re probably going to
people realize you’re probably going to have to commit to your job realize
have to commit to your job realize
have to commit to your job realize you’re probably going to be working many
you’re probably going to be working many
you’re probably going to be working many hours realize your occupation is going
hours realize your occupation is going
hours realize your occupation is going to be a large part of your
to be a large part of your
to be a large part of your life go back to that great question do
life go back to that great question do
life go back to that great question do you love what you do and to the degree
you love what you do and to the degree
you love what you do and to the degree you can answer that question yes you’re
you can answer that question yes you’re
you can answer that question yes you’re probably going to be a winner in the
probably going to be a winner in the
probably going to be a winner in the game of life to the grey you answer that
game of life to the grey you answer that
game of life to the grey you answer that question no you’re going to have some
question no you’re going to have some
question no you’re going to have some problems a classic problem of smart
problems a classic problem of smart
problems a classic problem of smart successful people adding too much value
successful people adding too much value
successful people adding too much value what does this mean I am young smart
what does this mean I am young smart
what does this mean I am young smart enthusiastic I report to you I come to
enthusiastic I report to you I come to
enthusiastic I report to you I come to you with an idea you think it’s a great
you with an idea you think it’s a great
you with an idea you think it’s a great idea rather than saying great idea our
idea rather than saying great idea our
idea rather than saying great idea our tendency is to say that’s a nice idea
tendency is to say that’s a nice idea
tendency is to say that’s a nice idea why don’t you add this to it the quality
why don’t you add this to it the quality
why don’t you add this to it the quality of the idea may now go up 5% my
of the idea may now go up 5% my
of the idea may now go up 5% my commitment to its execution may now go
commitment to its execution may now go
commitment to its execution may now go down 50% it’s no longer my idea
down 50% it’s no longer my idea
down 50% it’s no longer my idea incredibly hard for smart successful
incredibly hard for smart successful
incredibly hard for smart successful people not to constantly go through life
people not to constantly go through life
people not to constantly go through life adding value have any of you been
adding value have any of you been
adding value have any of you been trained as scientists or engineers
trained as scientists or engineers
trained as scientists or engineers before oh this is a particularly bad
before oh this is a particularly bad
before oh this is a particularly bad disease for this group okay we get so
disease for this group okay we get so
disease for this group okay we get so wrapped up on improving the quality 5%
wrapped up on improving the quality 5%
wrapped up on improving the quality 5% we may damage the commitment by 50% and
we may damage the commitment by 50% and
we may damage the commitment by 50% and by the way most the time we’re adding
by the way most the time we’re adding
by the way most the time we’re adding too much value what are we really doing
too much value what are we really doing
too much value what are we really doing telling the world how smart we are it’s
telling the world how smart we are it’s
telling the world how smart we are it’s incredibly hard for smart successful
incredibly hard for smart successful
incredibly hard for smart successful people not to constantly go through life
people not to constantly go through life
people not to constantly go through life telling the world how smart we are does
telling the world how smart we are does
telling the world how smart we are does anyone in the room have a PhD yes a
anyone in the room have a PhD yes a
anyone in the room have a PhD yes a particular disease for people with a PhD
particular disease for people with a PhD
particular disease for people with a PhD right yeah telling the world how smart
right yeah telling the world how smart
right yeah telling the world how smart we are I have done programs myself
we are I have done programs myself
we are I have done programs myself called creating a great rest of your
called creating a great rest of your
called creating a great rest of your life in this very room with the many
life in this very room with the many
life in this very room with the many CEOs my friend Alan Mulally CEO Ford has
CEOs my friend Alan Mulally CEO Ford has
CEOs my friend Alan Mulally CEO Ford has been in this room Mike Duke CEO Walmart
been in this room Mike Duke CEO Walmart
been in this room Mike Duke CEO Walmart has been in this room many many top
has been in this room many many top
has been in this room many many top leaders have been in this room and we’ve
leaders have been in this room and we’ve
leaders have been in this room and we’ve talked about what are you going to do
talked about what are you going to do
talked about what are you going to do now these are typically people my age
now these are typically people my age
now these are typically people my age older people and 60s maybe early 70s and
older people and 60s maybe early 70s and
older people and 60s maybe early 70s and talking about what are you going to do
talking about what are you going to do
talking about what are you going to do with the rest of your life and really
with the rest of your life and really
with the rest of your life and really what I’ve learned is the concept of
what I’ve learned is the concept of
what I’ve learned is the concept of playing crappy golf with old men at the
playing crappy golf with old men at the
playing crappy golf with old men at the Country Club while eating chicken salad
Country Club while eating chicken salad
Country Club while eating chicken salad sandwiches and discussing gallbladder
sandwiches and discussing gallbladder
sandwiches and discussing gallbladder surgery may not be quite as wonderful as
surgery may not be quite as wonderful as
surgery may not be quite as wonderful as it sounds especially if you’ve had a
it sounds especially if you’ve had a
it sounds especially if you’ve had a meaningful life and we talk about what
meaningful life and we talk about what
meaningful life and we talk about what is what matters in life really what
is what matters in life really what
is what matters in life really what matters and
matters and
matters and we’ve come up with a couple of things
we’ve come up with a couple of things
we’ve come up with a couple of things one is you have to be happy what you’re
one is you have to be happy what you’re
one is you have to be happy what you’re doing you love the process of what
doing you love the process of what
doing you love the process of what you’re doing you want to be a victim or
you’re doing you want to be a victim or
you’re doing you want to be a victim or a martyr and he also I need to find
a martyr and he also I need to find
a martyr and he also I need to find meaning you can’t just go on cruises and
meaning you can’t just go on cruises and
meaning you can’t just go on cruises and play bad golf you have to do something
play bad golf you have to do something
play bad golf you have to do something that matters in life and so I think it
that matters in life and so I think it
that matters in life and so I think it is very important at every stage of life
is very important at every stage of life
is very important at every stage of life we go back and look at what’s important
we go back and look at what’s important
we go back and look at what’s important what matters and what do I want to be we
what matters and what do I want to be we
what matters and what do I want to be we spend so little time thinking about this
spend so little time thinking about this
spend so little time thinking about this one of my good coaching clients was
one of my good coaching clients was
one of my good coaching clients was going to retire in six months he was a
going to retire in six months he was a
going to retire in six months he was a CEO of a huge company and I said if you
CEO of a huge company and I said if you
CEO of a huge company and I said if you need the company we’re going to change
need the company we’re going to change
need the company we’re going to change in six months totally different
in six months totally different
in six months totally different customers everything would you plan for
customers everything would you plan for
customers everything would you plan for it he said of course I would have a
it he said of course I would have a
it he said of course I would have a responsible person on the CEO so your
responsible person on the CEO so your
responsible person on the CEO so your life is going to change in six months
life is going to change in six months
life is going to change in six months totally change everything’s going to be
totally change everything’s going to be
totally change everything’s going to be different how much time we’ve been
different how much time we’ve been
different how much time we’ve been planning for that and we said no big
planning for that and we said no big
planning for that and we said no big mistake
mistake
mistake okay big big mistake so I think it’s
okay big big mistake so I think it’s
okay big big mistake so I think it’s very important as we go to various
very important as we go to various
very important as we go to various stages of life to reflect and think back
stages of life to reflect and think back
stages of life to reflect and think back what matters in life what’s important
what matters in life what’s important
what matters in life what’s important and I don’t feel any of us are too young
and I don’t feel any of us are too young
and I don’t feel any of us are too young or old to kind of begin this process
or old to kind of begin this process
or old to kind of begin this process creating a new identity how can we
creating a new identity how can we
creating a new identity how can we become someone different how can we
become someone different how can we
become someone different how can we create a new identity now the final
create a new identity now the final
create a new identity now the final element of identity if you look at our
element of identity if you look at our
element of identity if you look at our model is called our created identity
model is called our created identity
model is called our created identity that’s that new person that we can
that’s that new person that we can
that’s that new person that we can create that’s the future that we create
create that’s the future that we create
create that’s the future that we create for ourselves and in looking at this
for ourselves and in looking at this
for ourselves and in looking at this element of identity when to give you an
element of identity when to give you an
element of identity when to give you an example from a famous rock star one
example from a famous rock star one
example from a famous rock star one night I had the opportunity of having
night I had the opportunity of having
night I had the opportunity of having dinner with the famous rock and roll
dinner with the famous rock and roll
dinner with the famous rock and roll star Bono and I didn’t know any of his
star Bono and I didn’t know any of his
star Bono and I didn’t know any of his music too much because it was recorded
music too much because it was recorded
music too much because it was recorded after 1975 we had a wonderful dinner
after 1975 we had a wonderful dinner
after 1975 we had a wonderful dinner though and he talked about not his music
though and he talked about not his music
though and he talked about not his music he talked about a lot about his identity
he talked about a lot about his identity
he talked about a lot about his identity and the first part of his identity was
and the first part of his identity was
and the first part of his identity was kind of regular guy not pompous or
kind of regular guy not pompous or
kind of regular guy not pompous or pretentious very much a regular person
pretentious very much a regular person
pretentious very much a regular person and you know he impressed me as being
and you know he impressed me as being
and you know he impressed me as being very much a regular guy didn’t put on
very much a regular guy didn’t put on
very much a regular guy didn’t put on airs just seemed to be a real real
airs just seemed to be a real real
airs just seemed to be a real real person
person
person he’s the F word about every third word
he’s the F word about every third word
he’s the F word about every third word when we were talking and he’s a nice man
when we were talking and he’s a nice man
when we were talking and he’s a nice man he apologized he said you know syrup
he apologized he said you know syrup
he apologized he said you know syrup probably shouldn’t use such bad language
probably shouldn’t use such bad language
probably shouldn’t use such bad language around you I said excuse me I’m from
around you I said excuse me I’m from
around you I said excuse me I’m from Bali station
Bali station
Bali station yeah I thought the f-word was the
yeah I thought the f-word was the
yeah I thought the f-word was the adjective that proceeded all bounds so I
adjective that proceeded all bounds so I
adjective that proceeded all bounds so I said this really doesn’t bother me that
said this really doesn’t bother me that
said this really doesn’t bother me that much well after a regular guy the next
much well after a regular guy the next
much well after a regular guy the next part of his identity was rock-and-roll
part of his identity was rock-and-roll
part of his identity was rock-and-roll fan he’s still a fan of music and he
fan he’s still a fan of music and he
fan he’s still a fan of music and he talked about the group’s he loved and
talked about the group’s he loved and
talked about the group’s he loved and how they influenced his life then it
how they influenced his life then it
how they influenced his life then it became a musician he’s still a musician
became a musician he’s still a musician
became a musician he’s still a musician he talked about how he loved making
he talked about how he loved making
he talked about how he loved making music and not just for money how he had
music and not just for money how he had
music and not just for money how he had times with his family and they’d all
times with his family and they’d all
times with his family and they’d all sing and make music together and how
sing and make music together and how
sing and make music together and how much he enjoyed that then he became a
much he enjoyed that then he became a
much he enjoyed that then he became a rock star and he talked about what it’s
rock star and he talked about what it’s
rock star and he talked about what it’s like to be a rock star and he wasn’t
like to be a rock star and he wasn’t
like to be a rock star and he wasn’t bragging or showing off that’s who he is
bragging or showing off that’s who he is
bragging or showing off that’s who he is he’s a rock star he talked about the
he’s a rock star he talked about the
he’s a rock star he talked about the pluses and minuses of that life and now
pluses and minuses of that life and now
pluses and minuses of that life and now his humanitarian he is devoting a whole
his humanitarian he is devoting a whole
his humanitarian he is devoting a whole lot of his life to trying to help others
lot of his life to trying to help others
lot of his life to trying to help others and he made an interesting point
and he made an interesting point
and he made an interesting point not so easy everybody didn’t support him
not so easy everybody didn’t support him
not so easy everybody didn’t support him in trying to be a humanitarian some
in trying to be a humanitarian some
in trying to be a humanitarian some people were more into like who is this
people were more into like who is this
people were more into like who is this guy shallow is plastic some rock star
guy shallow is plastic some rock star
guy shallow is plastic some rock star what’s he trying to be some kind of
what’s he trying to be some kind of
what’s he trying to be some kind of humanitarian and to his credit you know
humanitarian and to his credit you know
humanitarian and to his credit you know what he said to himself forget that if I
what he said to himself forget that if I
what he said to himself forget that if I want to help people I shouldn’t have to
want to help people I shouldn’t have to
want to help people I shouldn’t have to apologize and be ashamed of it and he is
apologize and be ashamed of it and he is
apologize and be ashamed of it and he is devoting a huge amount of his life right
devoting a huge amount of his life right
devoting a huge amount of his life right now to helping others well to me
now to helping others well to me
now to helping others well to me god bless him he has created a new
god bless him he has created a new
god bless him he has created a new identity for himself without being a
identity for himself without being a
identity for himself without being a hypocrite and without being a phony
hypocrite and without being a phony
hypocrite and without being a phony final point for you challenge yourself
final point for you challenge yourself
final point for you challenge yourself think about what is my identity now
think about what is my identity now
think about what is my identity now second where did that identity come from
second where did that identity come from
second where did that identity come from my memories feedback from others
my memories feedback from others
my memories feedback from others programming what is a new person I want
programming what is a new person I want
programming what is a new person I want to create how can I create a new
to create how can I create a new
to create how can I create a new identity a different person a better
identity a different person a better
identity a different person a better person a person who’s not the same as a
person a person who’s not the same as a
person a person who’s not the same as a person who’s there now without being a
person who’s there now without being a
person who’s there now without being a hypocrite without being a phony creating
hypocrite without being a phony creating
hypocrite without being a phony creating a better me
thank you guys so much for watching I
thank you guys so much for watching I made this video because Jeff Davis asked
made this video because Jeff Davis asked
made this video because Jeff Davis asked me to so if there’s a famous
me to so if there’s a famous
me to so if there’s a famous entrepreneur that you want me to profile
entrepreneur that you want me to profile
entrepreneur that you want me to profile next leaving the couch below and I’ll
next leaving the couch below and I’ll
next leaving the couch below and I’ll see what I can do I also love to know
see what I can do I also love to know
see what I can do I also love to know what of the rules had the biggest impact
what of the rules had the biggest impact
what of the rules had the biggest impact on you what did Marshall say that really
on you what did Marshall say that really
on you what did Marshall say that really resonated with you what’s a single
resonated with you what’s a single
resonated with you what’s a single biggest lesson that you took from this
biggest lesson that you took from this
biggest lesson that you took from this video leave it in the comments below and
video leave it in the comments below and
video leave it in the comments below and I’m gonna join in the discussion so
I’m gonna join in the discussion so
I’m gonna join in the discussion so thank you guys so much for watching
thank you guys so much for watching
thank you guys so much for watching I believe in you I hope you continue to
I believe in you I hope you continue to
I believe in you I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your
believe in yourself and whatever your
believe in yourself and whatever your one word is much love I’ll see you soon
the first disease of successful people I
the first disease of successful people I can see running rampant in this room
can see running rampant in this room
can see running rampant in this room what is this problem called winning too
what is this problem called winning too
what is this problem called winning too much now what does that mean if it is
much now what does that mean if it is
much now what does that mean if it is important we want to win meaningful we
important we want to win meaningful we
important we want to win meaningful we want to win critical we want to win
want to win critical we want to win
want to win critical we want to win trivial we want to win not worth it we
trivial we want to win not worth it we
trivial we want to win not worth it we want to win anyway we like winning I’m
want to win anyway we like winning I’m
want to win anyway we like winning I’m going to give you a case study that 75%
going to give you a case study that 75%
going to give you a case study that 75% of my successful clients fail yes I will
of my successful clients fail yes I will
of my successful clients fail yes I will predict most of you will fail this case
predict most of you will fail this case
predict most of you will fail this case study and when I say fail they fail
study and when I say fail they fail
study and when I say fail they fail themselves they say what I would do is
themselves they say what I would do is
themselves they say what I would do is the opposite of what I know I should do
the opposite of what I know I should do
the opposite of what I know I should do are you ready you want to go to dinner
are you ready you want to go to dinner
are you ready you want to go to dinner at restaurant X your husband and wife
at restaurant X your husband and wife
at restaurant X your husband and wife partner friend or significant other
partner friend or significant other
partner friend or significant other wants to go to dinner at restaurant Y
wants to go to dinner at restaurant Y
wants to go to dinner at restaurant Y you have heated argument you go to
you have heated argument you go to
you have heated argument you go to restaurant Y this was not your choice
restaurant Y this was not your choice
restaurant Y this was not your choice the food tastes awful the service is
the food tastes awful the service is
the food tastes awful the service is terrible option a critique the food
terrible option a critique the food
terrible option a critique the food point out our partner was wrong this
point out our partner was wrong this
point out our partner was wrong this mistake could have been avoided if only
mistake could have been avoided if only
mistake could have been avoided if only they would have listened to me me me me
they would have listened to me me me me
they would have listened to me me me me me option B shut up eat the stupid food
me option B shut up eat the stupid food
me option B shut up eat the stupid food try to enjoy it and have a nice evening
try to enjoy it and have a nice evening
try to enjoy it and have a nice evening what would I do what should I do
what would I do what should I do
what would I do what should I do 75% of my clients what would i do
75% of my clients what would i do
75% of my clients what would i do critique the food what should I do
critique the food what should I do
critique the food what should I do shut up how many people in the room have
shut up how many people in the room have
shut up how many people in the room have ever critiqued the food before raise
ever critiqued the food before raise
ever critiqued the food before raise your hands food critique er yes a room
your hands food critique er yes a room
your hands food critique er yes a room filled with food critique was this a
filled with food critique was this a
filled with food critique was this a smart thing or a stupid thing stupid
smart thing or a stupid thing stupid
smart thing or a stupid thing stupid and as stupid as it was yes it was
and as stupid as it was yes it was
and as stupid as it was yes it was stupid I’m going to give you an example
stupid I’m going to give you an example
stupid I’m going to give you an example now that is so hideously stupid it will
now that is so hideously stupid it will
now that is so hideously stupid it will make that one pale by comparison and yes
make that one pale by comparison and yes
make that one pale by comparison and yes I will predict that most of you have
I will predict that most of you have
I will predict that most of you have done this are you ready
done this are you ready
done this are you ready you have a hard day at work a hard day
you have a hard day at work a hard day
you have a hard day at work a hard day you come home your husband wife friend
you come home your husband wife friend
you come home your husband wife friend or partner is there the other person
or partner is there the other person
or partner is there the other person says I had such a hard day today I had
says I had such a hard day today I had
says I had such a hard day today I had such a tough day and we reply you had a
such a tough day and we reply you had a
such a tough day and we reply you had a hard day you had a hard day do you have
hard day you had a hard day do you have
hard day you had a hard day do you have any idea what I had to put up with today
any idea what I had to put up with today
any idea what I had to put up with today do you think you had a hard day we are
do you think you had a hard day we are
do you think you had a hard day we are so competitive we have to prove we are
so competitive we have to prove we are
so competitive we have to prove we are more miserable than a person lives with
more miserable than a person lives with
more miserable than a person lives with us I give this example in one class the
us I give this example in one class the
us I give this example in one class the guy to back raised his hand he said I
guy to back raised his hand he said I
guy to back raised his hand he said I did that last week I asked him I said
did that last week I asked him I said
did that last week I asked him I said what happened he said my wife looked at
what happened he said my wife looked at
what happened he said my wife looked at me she said honey you just think you
me she said honey you just think you
me she said honey you just think you have had a hard day it’s not over I’d
have had a hard day it’s not over I’d
have had a hard day it’s not over I’d like to give you two examples of the
like to give you two examples of the
like to give you two examples of the value of help structure and direction a
value of help structure and direction a
value of help structure and direction a very positive example and a negative
very positive example and a negative
very positive example and a negative example first the negative dr. Atul
example first the negative dr. Atul
example first the negative dr. Atul Gawande from Harvard Medical School
Gawande from Harvard Medical School
Gawande from Harvard Medical School wrote a great book called the checklist
wrote a great book called the checklist
wrote a great book called the checklist manifesto in his book dr. Guan D shares
manifesto in his book dr. Guan D shares
manifesto in his book dr. Guan D shares some pre sobering research if you go in
some pre sobering research if you go in
some pre sobering research if you go in for a surgery and the nurse has a doctor
for a surgery and the nurse has a doctor
for a surgery and the nurse has a doctor or series of very simple questions from
or series of very simple questions from
or series of very simple questions from a checklist before the surgery the
a checklist before the surgery the
a checklist before the surgery the odds-on unneeded infection plummet and
odds-on unneeded infection plummet and
odds-on unneeded infection plummet and the death rate because a necessary
the death rate because a necessary
the death rate because a necessary infection is dramatically reduced the
infection is dramatically reduced the
infection is dramatically reduced the huge majority of hospitals around the
huge majority of hospitals around the
huge majority of hospitals around the world do not allow the nurse to ask the
world do not allow the nurse to ask the
world do not allow the nurse to ask the doctor the questions why doesn’t the
doctor the questions why doesn’t the
doctor the questions why doesn’t the doctor want the nurse asking them those
doctor want the nurse asking them those
doctor want the nurse asking them those questions from the checklist ego the
questions from the checklist ego the
questions from the checklist ego the doctor is too proud to admit they need
doctor is too proud to admit they need
doctor is too proud to admit they need that help too proud to get that day
that help too proud to get that day
that help too proud to get that day today today structure and they let their
today today structure and they let their
today today structure and they let their ego and pride become more important than
ego and pride become more important than
ego and pride become more important than their patients according to dr. Guan D
their patients according to dr. Guan D
their patients according to dr. Guan D more people have died because of the
more people have died because of the
more people have died because of the egos of surgeons and died in the Vietnam
egos of surgeons and died in the Vietnam
egos of surgeons and died in the Vietnam War the Afghan war and the Iraqi war
War the Afghan war and the Iraqi war
War the Afghan war and the Iraqi war mind what is the first question the
mind what is the first question the
mind what is the first question the nurse asks the doctor did you wash our
nurse asks the doctor did you wash our
nurse asks the doctor did you wash our hands did you wash your hands too much
hands did you wash your hands too much
hands did you wash your hands too much ego that’s the negative case study now
ego that’s the negative case study now
ego that’s the negative case study now the positive case study every year I
the positive case study every year I
the positive case study every year I train the Admirals for nine years in the
train the Admirals for nine years in the
train the Admirals for nine years in the United States Navy and I love working
United States Navy and I love working
United States Navy and I love working with the Navy I I don’t build them any
with the Navy I I don’t build them any
with the Navy I I don’t build them any money because they’re billing
money because they’re billing
money because they’re billing bureaucracy is such a phenomenal pain in
bureaucracy is such a phenomenal pain in
bureaucracy is such a phenomenal pain in the butt I said we’ll both make more
the butt I said we’ll both make more
the butt I said we’ll both make more money if you pay me nothing
money if you pay me nothing
money if you pay me nothing don’t pay me they give me treats a few
don’t pay me they give me treats a few
don’t pay me they give me treats a few years ago my treat day in a nuclear
years ago my treat day in a nuclear
years ago my treat day in a nuclear submarine me and eight other old men got
submarine me and eight other old men got
submarine me and eight other old men got to go out on a nuclear sub diving down
to go out on a nuclear sub diving down
to go out on a nuclear sub diving down under the waters for eight hours and
under the waters for eight hours and
under the waters for eight hours and pretending to torpedo things ah we had a
pretending to torpedo things ah we had a
pretending to torpedo things ah we had a great old time a couple years later I
great old time a couple years later I
great old time a couple years later I got an even better treat we’re not a it
got an even better treat we’re not a it
got an even better treat we’re not a it to go highway to the dangerzone have you
to go highway to the dangerzone have you
to go highway to the dangerzone have you seen that movie Top Gun I got to spend
seen that movie Top Gun I got to spend
seen that movie Top Gun I got to spend 95 minutes on a United States Navy Top
95 minutes on a United States Navy Top
95 minutes on a United States Navy Top Gun fighter jet six G’s oxygen flying
Gun fighter jet six G’s oxygen flying
Gun fighter jet six G’s oxygen flying upside-down doing tricks got to fly the
upside-down doing tricks got to fly the
upside-down doing tricks got to fly the plane myself for 10 minutes and I am
plane myself for 10 minutes and I am
plane myself for 10 minutes and I am very proud to say I did not throw up now
very proud to say I did not throw up now
very proud to say I did not throw up now before I got on the plane I noticed
before I got on the plane I noticed
before I got on the plane I noticed something
something
something this kid is asking my host ever Mark
this kid is asking my host ever Mark
this kid is asking my host ever Mark Watney a series of simple questions from
Watney a series of simple questions from
Watney a series of simple questions from checklist
checklist
checklist these weren’t tricky questions first
these weren’t tricky questions first
these weren’t tricky questions first question for the doctor did you wash
question for the doctor did you wash
question for the doctor did you wash your hands first question for the
your hands first question for the
your hands first question for the Admiral is how much fuel they have I
Admiral is how much fuel they have I
Admiral is how much fuel they have I said sir this is puzzling the doctor
said sir this is puzzling the doctor
said sir this is puzzling the doctor don’t like the nurse you asking him the
don’t like the nurse you asking him the
don’t like the nurse you asking him the question because there he goes too big
question because there he goes too big
question because there he goes too big now I said no offense sir nobody in the
now I said no offense sir nobody in the
now I said no offense sir nobody in the world has a much bigger ego than a
world has a much bigger ego than a
world has a much bigger ego than a United States Navy Top Gun fighter jet
United States Navy Top Gun fighter jet
United States Navy Top Gun fighter jet pilot who becomes a Nabal you probably
pilot who becomes a Nabal you probably
pilot who becomes a Nabal you probably got one of the biggest egos in the world
got one of the biggest egos in the world
got one of the biggest egos in the world yet you do not object to this kid asking
yet you do not object to this kid asking
yet you do not object to this kid asking you the questions
you the questions
you the questions I said sir what’s the difference he said
I said sir what’s the difference he said
I said sir what’s the difference he said marshal there’s a huge difference if
marshal there’s a huge difference if
marshal there’s a huge difference if that operation crashes you die if that
that operation crashes you die if that
that operation crashes you die if that plane crashes I die he said you put a
plane crashes I die he said you put a
plane crashes I die he said you put a gun to that surgeon’s head and say this
gun to that surgeon’s head and say this
gun to that surgeon’s head and say this patient dies haven’t unneeded infection
patient dies haven’t unneeded infection
patient dies haven’t unneeded infection we’re gonna blow your brains out
we’re gonna blow your brains out
we’re gonna blow your brains out probably be asking those questions twice
probably be asking those questions twice
probably be asking those questions twice well how important is ego and how
well how important is ego and how
well how important is ego and how important is pride every day we make it
important is pride every day we make it
important is pride every day we make it more important than our health than our
more important than our health than our
more important than our health than our safety than the people we love once we
safety than the people we love once we
safety than the people we love once we get over that ego and pride once we get
get over that ego and pride once we get
get over that ego and pride once we get over that macho nonsense of I can do it
over that macho nonsense of I can do it
over that macho nonsense of I can do it on my own I don’t need that checklist
on my own I don’t need that checklist
on my own I don’t need that checklist I’m above all that stuff once we get
I’m above all that stuff once we get
I’m above all that stuff once we get over that ridiculous ego that surgery is
over that ridiculous ego that surgery is
over that ridiculous ego that surgery is likely to go a lot better that plane
likely to go a lot better that plane
likely to go a lot better that plane flight is likely to be more successful
flight is likely to be more successful
flight is likely to be more successful and we are more likely to become the
and we are more likely to become the
and we are more likely to become the person our lives that we want to become
person our lives that we want to become
person our lives that we want to become I’m now going to teach you a process
I’m now going to teach you a process
I’m now going to teach you a process that takes about two minutes a day costs
that takes about two minutes a day costs
that takes about two minutes a day costs absolutely nothing it’s going to help
absolutely nothing it’s going to help
absolutely nothing it’s going to help you get better at almost anything might
you get better at almost anything might
you get better at almost anything might be a little skeptical right now two
be a little skeptical right now two
be a little skeptical right now two minutes a day cost nothing help me get
minutes a day cost nothing help me get
minutes a day cost nothing help me get better at almost anything what that
better at almost anything what that
better at almost anything what that sounds too good to be true I’m going to
sounds too good to be true I’m going to
sounds too good to be true I’m going to make a second prediction half of the
make a second prediction half of the
make a second prediction half of the people I teach this to you’re going to
people I teach this to you’re going to
people I teach this to you’re going to quit doing this within two weeks and you
quit doing this within two weeks and you
quit doing this within two weeks and you will not quit doing it because it does
will not quit doing it because it does
will not quit doing it because it does not work you will quit doing it because
not work you will quit doing it because
not work you will quit doing it because it does work you see what I’m going to
it does work you see what I’m going to
it does work you see what I’m going to teach you next is incredibly easy to
teach you next is incredibly easy to
teach you next is incredibly easy to understand it’s just incredibly
understand it’s just incredibly
understand it’s just incredibly difficult to do this is called the daily
difficult to do this is called the daily
difficult to do this is called the daily question process now how does this work
question process now how does this work
question process now how does this work here’s what I want you to do I want you
here’s what I want you to do I want you
here’s what I want you to do I want you to get out an Excel spreadsheet on one
to get out an Excel spreadsheet on one
to get out an Excel spreadsheet on one column I want you to write a list of
column I want you to write a list of
column I want you to write a list of questions questions that represent what
questions questions that represent what
questions questions that represent what is most important in your life could be
is most important in your life could be
is most important in your life could be friends family colleagues every question
friends family colleagues every question
friends family colleagues every question must be answered with it yes a no or
must be answered with it yes a no or
must be answered with it yes a no or number a yes is recorded as one that no
number a yes is recorded as one that no
number a yes is recorded as one that no is recorded as a zero or a number
is recorded as a zero or a number
is recorded as a zero or a number whatever that number is and then seven
whatever that number is and then seven
whatever that number is and then seven boxes across one for every day of the
boxes across one for every day of the
boxes across one for every day of the week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday fill it out every
Friday Saturday Sunday fill it out every
Friday Saturday Sunday fill it out every day and at the end of the week that
day and at the end of the week that
day and at the end of the week that Excel spreadsheet will give you a little
Excel spreadsheet will give you a little
Excel spreadsheet will give you a little report card I’ve been doing this for
report card I’ve been doing this for
report card I’ve been doing this for years and let me warn you
years and let me warn you
years and let me warn you that report card at the end of the week
that report card at the end of the week
that report card at the end of the week might not be quite as pretty as at
might not be quite as pretty as at
might not be quite as pretty as at corporate values plaque you got stuck up
corporate values plaque you got stuck up
corporate values plaque you got stuck up there on the wall when you do this every
there on the wall when you do this every
there on the wall when you do this every day you know what you learn very quickly
day you know what you learn very quickly
day you know what you learn very quickly life is real easy to talk life is real
life is real easy to talk life is real
life is real easy to talk life is real difficult to live now I’m going to share
difficult to live now I’m going to share
difficult to live now I’m going to share some of my daily questions mine are not
some of my daily questions mine are not
some of my daily questions mine are not intended to be yours the idea of this
intended to be yours the idea of this
intended to be yours the idea of this exercise is you write your own questions
exercise is you write your own questions
exercise is you write your own questions every day for example what is one of my
every day for example what is one of my
every day for example what is one of my questions every day how many times
questions every day how many times
questions every day how many times yesterday did you try to prove that you
yesterday did you try to prove that you
yesterday did you try to prove that you were right when it was not worth it I’ve
were right when it was not worth it I’ve
were right when it was not worth it I’ve almost never scored a zero in the whole
almost never scored a zero in the whole
almost never scored a zero in the whole life kind of hard fat old professor not
life kind of hard fat old professor not
life kind of hard fat old professor not to be right all the time
to be right all the time
to be right all the time how many angrier destructive comments
how many angrier destructive comments
how many angrier destructive comments did you make about people yesterday well
did you make about people yesterday well
did you make about people yesterday well if I want to be a good person why am i
if I want to be a good person why am i
if I want to be a good person why am i stabbing people in the back how many
stabbing people in the back how many
stabbing people in the back how many minutes did you walk how many pushups
minutes did you walk how many pushups
minutes did you walk how many pushups did you do how many sit-ups did you do
did you do how many sit-ups did you do
did you do how many sit-ups did you do did you say or do something nice for
did you say or do something nice for
did you say or do something nice for your wife did you ser do something nice
your wife did you ser do something nice
your wife did you ser do something nice for your son for your daughter for your
for your son for your daughter for your
for your son for your daughter for your son-in-law for your grandkids how many
son-in-law for your grandkids how many
son-in-law for your grandkids how many minutes did you write well a friend of
minutes did you write well a friend of
minutes did you write well a friend of mine Jim wars been doing this for years
mine Jim wars been doing this for years
mine Jim wars been doing this for years and when he began doing it one of his
and when he began doing it one of his
and when he began doing it one of his daily questions was are you currently
daily questions was are you currently
daily questions was are you currently updated on your physical examination the
updated on your physical examination the
updated on your physical examination the first 90 days he did this he said no
first 90 days he did this he said no
first 90 days he did this he said no every day for 90 days no no no after 90
every day for 90 days no no no after 90
every day for 90 days no no no after 90 days he said this is embarrassing it’s
days he said this is embarrassing it’s
days he said this is embarrassing it’s embarrassing I got to get the dumb exam
embarrassing I got to get the dumb exam
embarrassing I got to get the dumb exam or quit asking a question is
or quit asking a question is
or quit asking a question is embarrassing he got the dumb exam what
embarrassing he got the dumb exam what
embarrassing he got the dumb exam what the doctors say you have cancer now he’s
the doctors say you have cancer now he’s
the doctors say you have cancer now he’s going to be fine that was many years ago
going to be fine that was many years ago
going to be fine that was many years ago the doctor also said had you waited
the doctor also said had you waited
the doctor also said had you waited seven more months you would be dead he
seven more months you would be dead he
seven more months you would be dead he knew he should have got a physical exam
knew he should have got a physical exam
knew he should have got a physical exam he’s not a stupid man chief Learning
he’s not a stupid man chief Learning
he’s not a stupid man chief Learning Officer of three multi-billion dollar
Officer of three multi-billion dollar
Officer of three multi-billion dollar companies he knew he should have done it
companies he knew he should have done it
companies he knew he should have done it but he didn’t do it
but he didn’t do it
but he didn’t do it in my classes I asked people how many of
in my classes I asked people how many of
in my classes I asked people how many of you have ever put off getting a physical
you have ever put off getting a physical
you have ever put off getting a physical exam before and told yourself I’m
exam before and told yourself I’m
exam before and told yourself I’m getting that exam after I go on my
getting that exam after I go on my
getting that exam after I go on my healthy foods diet I’m getting that exam
healthy foods diet I’m getting that exam
healthy foods diet I’m getting that exam after I begin my exercise program I’m
after I begin my exercise program I’m
after I begin my exercise program I’m pretty much half the class raises their
pretty much half the class raises their
pretty much half the class raises their hand and then I say did you really trick
hand and then I say did you really trick
hand and then I say did you really trick the doctor with that strategy well I was
the doctor with that strategy well I was
the doctor with that strategy well I was teaching at the University of Michigan
teaching at the University of Michigan
teaching at the University of Michigan this guy raised his hand I said sir did
this guy raised his hand I said sir did
this guy raised his hand I said sir did you trick the doctor with that strategy
you trick the doctor with that strategy
you trick the doctor with that strategy he looked Amigos I am the doctor well
he looked Amigos I am the doctor well
he looked Amigos I am the doctor well why don’t we ask these questions were
why don’t we ask these questions were
why don’t we ask these questions were afraid of the answers if you have the
afraid of the answers if you have the
afraid of the answers if you have the courage to write down the behavior
courage to write down the behavior
courage to write down the behavior that’s most important in your life and
that’s most important in your life and
that’s most important in your life and the discipline to do this every day
the discipline to do this every day
the discipline to do this every day you’re going to get a lot better now I
you’re going to get a lot better now I
you’re going to get a lot better now I pay a woman named Kate to call me on the
pay a woman named Kate to call me on the
pay a woman named Kate to call me on the phone every day she called me today
phone every day she called me today
phone every day she called me today she’s going to call me tomorrow she
she’s going to call me tomorrow she
she’s going to call me tomorrow she called me yesterday she calls me every
called me yesterday she calls me every
called me yesterday she calls me every day every day she listened to me read
day every day she listened to me read
day every day she listened to me read these questions that I wrote and provide
these questions that I wrote and provide
these questions that I wrote and provide the answers that I wrote every day now
the answers that I wrote every day now
the answers that I wrote every day now someone asked me why do you pay a woman
someone asked me why do you pay a woman
someone asked me why do you pay a woman to call you on the phone every day don’t
to call you on the phone every day don’t
to call you on the phone every day don’t you know the theory about how to change
you know the theory about how to change
you know the theory about how to change behavior
behavior
behavior I wrote the theory about how to change
I wrote the theory about how to change
I wrote the theory about how to change behavior that’s why I pay a woman to
behavior that’s why I pay a woman to
behavior that’s why I pay a woman to call me every day I know how hard this
call me every day I know how hard this
call me every day I know how hard this is I have over 12 million frequent flyer
is I have over 12 million frequent flyer
is I have over 12 million frequent flyer miles just on American Airlines that’s
miles just on American Airlines that’s
miles just on American Airlines that’s an excuse to be a bad father a bad
an excuse to be a bad father a bad
an excuse to be a bad father a bad husband out of shape how many excuses do
husband out of shape how many excuses do
husband out of shape how many excuses do I get with the 12 million miles many
I get with the 12 million miles many
I get with the 12 million miles many excuses excuses don’t help it’s hard for
excuses excuses don’t help it’s hard for
excuses excuses don’t help it’s hard for me it’s hard for you it’s hard for all
me it’s hard for you it’s hard for all
me it’s hard for you it’s hard for all of us why do I pay a woman named Kate to
of us why do I pay a woman named Kate to
of us why do I pay a woman named Kate to call me on the phone every day Justin
call me on the phone every day Justin
call me on the phone every day Justin listen to me read questions I wrote and
listen to me read questions I wrote and
listen to me read questions I wrote and provide answers I wrote my name is
provide answers I wrote my name is
provide answers I wrote my name is Marshall Goldsmith and the world’s
Marshall Goldsmith and the world’s
Marshall Goldsmith and the world’s top-ranked executive coach I am too
top-ranked executive coach I am too
top-ranked executive coach I am too cowardly to do this on my own
cowardly to do this on my own
cowardly to do this on my own and too undisciplined to do this on my
and too undisciplined to do this on my
and too undisciplined to do this on my own why do I pay someone to call me on
own why do I pay someone to call me on
own why do I pay someone to call me on the phone every day my name is Marshall
the phone every day my name is Marshall
the phone every day my name is Marshall Goldsmith I need help and it’s old
Goldsmith I need help and it’s old
Goldsmith I need help and it’s old now let me help you next steps get out
now let me help you next steps get out
now let me help you next steps get out that Excel spreadsheet write down those
that Excel spreadsheet write down those
that Excel spreadsheet write down those questions every day test yourself if you
questions every day test yourself if you
questions every day test yourself if you have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do this on your own every day
this on your own every day
this on your own every day knock yourself out do it if you notice
knock yourself out do it if you notice
knock yourself out do it if you notice that you’re quitting you make excuses
that you’re quitting you make excuses
that you’re quitting you make excuses like I got too busy didn’t have time it
like I got too busy didn’t have time it
like I got too busy didn’t have time it takes two minutes a day you weren’t too
takes two minutes a day you weren’t too
takes two minutes a day you weren’t too busy I got bored you didn’t get bored
busy I got bored you didn’t get bored
busy I got bored you didn’t get bored why did you quit it’s hard to face the
why did you quit it’s hard to face the
why did you quit it’s hard to face the reality of our own lives everyday if you
reality of our own lives everyday if you
reality of our own lives everyday if you have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do this by yourself do it if you do not
this by yourself do it if you do not
this by yourself do it if you do not have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do
have the courage and discipline to do this by yourself which most of us don’t
this by yourself which most of us don’t
this by yourself which most of us don’t like me get somebody else to help you
like me get somebody else to help you
like me get somebody else to help you and get over that shame and pride thing
and get over that shame and pride thing
and get over that shame and pride thing and say hey I need help it’s okay it’s
and say hey I need help it’s okay it’s
and say hey I need help it’s okay it’s okay if you try this you’re going to
okay if you try this you’re going to
okay if you try this you’re going to find out it will help you get better at
find out it will help you get better at
find out it will help you get better at just about anything and it doesn’t take
just about anything and it doesn’t take
just about anything and it doesn’t take a lot of time it just takes a lot of
a lot of time it just takes a lot of
a lot of time it just takes a lot of courage
”
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