if you’re looking for ways to find mentors learn to say no and ask better
mentors learn to say no and ask better
mentors learn to say no and ask better questions than this video is for you
questions than this video is for you
questions than this video is for you you’re the average of the five people
you’re the average of the five people
you’re the average of the five people you associate with most which I still
you associate with most which I still
you associate with most which I still think physically emotionally financially
think physically emotionally financially
think physically emotionally financially that’s true the emails were so
that’s true the emails were so
that’s true the emails were so incredibly well-crafted and so smart and
incredibly well-crafted and so smart and
incredibly well-crafted and so smart and the wordsmithing that they used that I
the wordsmithing that they used that I
the wordsmithing that they used that I then responded to the people who refused
then responded to the people who refused
then responded to the people who refused to be in the book to say can I put your
to be in the book to say can I put your
to be in the book to say can I put your refusal email in the book which I did
refusal email in the book which I did
refusal email in the book which I did much like asking yourself what makes me
much like asking yourself what makes me
much like asking yourself what makes me happy is not really a great questions
happy is not really a great questions
happy is not really a great questions too broad and takes too long to search
too broad and takes too long to search
too broad and takes too long to search what’s up what’s happened my one word is
what’s up what’s happened my one word is
what’s up what’s happened my one word is believe and I believe in you and I
believe and I believe in you and I
believe and I believe in you and I believe you have an amazing gift inside
believe you have an amazing gift inside
believe you have an amazing gift inside that I want to see you unleash out into
that I want to see you unleash out into
that I want to see you unleash out into the world I started that mentor me
the world I started that mentor me
the world I started that mentor me series with the goal to try to hang
series with the goal to try to hang
series with the goal to try to hang around people who’ve done a lot more
around people who’ve done a lot more
around people who’ve done a lot more than us and hopefully by being around
than us and hopefully by being around
than us and hopefully by being around them just a little bit longer some of
them just a little bit longer some of
them just a little bit longer some of their beliefs their mindset their way of
their beliefs their mindset their way of
their beliefs their mindset their way of seeing the world seeps into us to help
seeing the world seeps into us to help
seeing the world seeps into us to help us become the best version of ourselves
us become the best version of ourselves
us become the best version of ourselves so today we’re going to learn from one
so today we’re going to learn from one
so today we’re going to learn from one of the best Tim Ferriss and how to build
of the best Tim Ferriss and how to build
of the best Tim Ferriss and how to build a tribe of mentors mentor me Tim
[Music]
[Music] kicking us off at number one is our
kicking us off at number one is our
kicking us off at number one is our first tip find mentors talk to me about
first tip find mentors talk to me about
first tip find mentors talk to me about the new book
the new book
the new book yes a tribe of mentors came about I just
yes a tribe of mentors came about I just
yes a tribe of mentors came about I just turned 40 not too long ago and it’s been
turned 40 not too long ago and it’s been
turned 40 not too long ago and it’s been a big 12 months been a heavy 12 months
a big 12 months been a heavy 12 months
a big 12 months been a heavy 12 months too I had a number of close friends died
too I had a number of close friends died
too I had a number of close friends died unexpectedly including one of my mentors
unexpectedly including one of my mentors
unexpectedly including one of my mentors in this book actually passed away just a
in this book actually passed away just a
in this book actually passed away just a few weeks ago very unexpectedly it was
few weeks ago very unexpectedly it was
few weeks ago very unexpectedly it was off complications Terry Laughlin who
off complications Terry Laughlin who
off complications Terry Laughlin who taught me how to swim and was turn 66 so
taught me how to swim and was turn 66 so
taught me how to swim and was turn 66 so you had metastatic or metastasized
you had metastatic or metastasized
you had metastatic or metastasized prostate cancer and then had
prostate cancer and then had
prostate cancer and then had complications from that and a stroke and
complications from that and a stroke and
complications from that and a stroke and I’m sorry it’s been thank you and a good
I’m sorry it’s been thank you and a good
I’m sorry it’s been thank you and a good opportunity for me to just take a step
opportunity for me to just take a step
opportunity for me to just take a step back and say all right let me hit pause
back and say all right let me hit pause
back and say all right let me hit pause for a period of time to try to reassess
for a period of time to try to reassess
for a period of time to try to reassess priorities look at the direction that
priorities look at the direction that
priorities look at the direction that I’m heading look at the things I’m doing
I’m heading look at the things I’m doing
I’m heading look at the things I’m doing or not doing how has planning or over
or not doing how has planning or over
or not doing how has planning or over planning or under planning helped or
planning or under planning helped or
planning or under planning helped or hurt me how am i relating to myself not
hurt me how am i relating to myself not
hurt me how am i relating to myself not just to the world mean all these
just to the world mean all these
just to the world mean all these questions start to bubble to the surface
questions start to bubble to the surface
questions start to bubble to the surface and it seemed like a good opportunity to
and it seemed like a good opportunity to
and it seemed like a good opportunity to ask a lot of questions some of which are
ask a lot of questions some of which are
ask a lot of questions some of which are really tactical some which are more
really tactical some which are more
really tactical some which are more strategic somewhere which are really
strategic somewhere which are really
strategic somewhere which are really high level life mission type goals and I
high level life mission type goals and I
high level life mission type goals and I asked myself the question which I’ve
asked myself the question which I’ve
asked myself the question which I’ve been trying to do in the last couple of
been trying to do in the last couple of
been trying to do in the last couple of years which is what would this look like
years which is what would this look like
years which is what would this look like or what might it look like if it were
or what might it look like if it were
or what might it look like if it were easy right so if this were simple what
easy right so if this were simple what
easy right so if this were simple what would the structure look like and i
would the structure look like and i
would the structure look like and i journaled on it and the answer that came
journaled on it and the answer that came
journaled on it and the answer that came back was you should just ask other
back was you should just ask other
back was you should just ask other people the questions that you are having
people the questions that you are having
people the questions that you are having trouble answering for yourself so I’ve
trouble answering for yourself so I’ve
trouble answering for yourself so I’ve reached out to about 140 people across
reached out to about 140 people across
reached out to about 140 people across every possible discipline so ranging
every possible discipline so ranging
every possible discipline so ranging from say David Lynch the director or
from say David Lynch the director or
from say David Lynch the director or Terry Crews all the way to Kelly Slater
Terry Crews all the way to Kelly Slater
Terry Crews all the way to Kelly Slater most decorated surfer of all time –
most decorated surfer of all time –
most decorated surfer of all time – ayaan Hirsi Ali who’s an incredible
ayaan Hirsi Ali who’s an incredible
ayaan Hirsi Ali who’s an incredible writer thinker activist Temple Grandin I
writer thinker activist Temple Grandin I
writer thinker activist Temple Grandin I mean you name it basically every
mean you name it basically every
mean you name it basically every possible discipline and industry artists
possible discipline and industry artists
possible discipline and industry artists I reached out to all of them people at
I reached out to all of them people at
I reached out to all of them people at the top of their fields and asked them a
the top of their fields and asked them a
the top of their fields and asked them a set of 11 questions and then compiled it
set of 11 questions and then compiled it
set of 11 questions and then compiled it into this book tribe of mentors because
into this book tribe of mentors because
into this book tribe of mentors because I’ve thought for a very long time and
I’ve thought for a very long time and
I’ve thought for a very long time and this is
this is
this is borrowing from somebody else advice I
borrowing from somebody else advice I
borrowing from somebody else advice I got when I was probably 14 or 15 which
got when I was probably 14 or 15 which
got when I was probably 14 or 15 which was it was a it was a it was an older
was it was a it was a it was an older
was it was a it was a it was an older student in a martial arts class he was
student in a martial arts class he was
student in a martial arts class he was an adult and he left a voicemail on my
an adult and he left a voicemail on my
an adult and he left a voicemail on my answering machine remember those and by
answering machine remember those and by
answering machine remember those and by the way guys not on your mobile device
the way guys not on your mobile device
the way guys not on your mobile device this is a machine with physical –
this is a machine with physical –
this is a machine with physical – physical – you have to put the tape in
physical – you have to put the tape in
physical – you have to put the tape in yeah and yeah if you ran out of tape
yeah and yeah if you ran out of tape
yeah and yeah if you ran out of tape normos but his message was advice to me
normos but his message was advice to me
normos but his message was advice to me which was you’re the average of the five
which was you’re the average of the five
which was you’re the average of the five people you associate with most which I
people you associate with most which I
people you associate with most which I still think physically emotionally
still think physically emotionally
still think physically emotionally financially that’s true and I get asked
financially that’s true and I get asked
financially that’s true and I get asked all the time well what if I don’t have
all the time well what if I don’t have
all the time well what if I don’t have five people around me that I can use to
five people around me that I can use to
five people around me that I can use to average up and I know ya find them or
average up and I know ya find them or
average up and I know ya find them or you can do it remotely you can do it
you can do it remotely you can do it
you can do it remotely you can do it virtually through audio through video
virtually through audio through video
virtually through audio through video yeah through books and so the tribe of
yeah through books and so the tribe of
yeah through books and so the tribe of mentors was intended to give people 130
mentors was intended to give people 130
mentors was intended to give people 130 of the world’s best to learn from up
of the world’s best to learn from up
of the world’s best to learn from up next at number two is learn how to say
next at number two is learn how to say
next at number two is learn how to say no the second thing that you said that I
no the second thing that you said that I
no the second thing that you said that I think all busy people probably need to
think all busy people probably need to
think all busy people probably need to take a lesson from is how to say no
take a lesson from is how to say no
take a lesson from is how to say no gracefully and you came at this from an
gracefully and you came at this from an
gracefully and you came at this from an interesting perspective even some people
interesting perspective even some people
interesting perspective even some people who said no to you to this project right
who said no to you to this project right
who said no to you to this project right so I reached out to a lot of different
so I reached out to a lot of different
so I reached out to a lot of different people dalai lama call me and there was
people dalai lama call me and there was
people dalai lama call me and there was a lot of non responses and then there
a lot of non responses and then there
a lot of non responses and then there were a fair number of polite declines
were a fair number of polite declines
were a fair number of polite declines and some of the emails were so
and some of the emails were so
and some of the emails were so incredibly well-crafted and so smart and
incredibly well-crafted and so smart and
incredibly well-crafted and so smart and the wordsmithing that they used that i
the wordsmithing that they used that i
the wordsmithing that they used that i then responded to the people who refused
then responded to the people who refused
then responded to the people who refused to be in the book to say can i put your
to be in the book to say can i put your
to be in the book to say can i put your refusal email in the book which i did so
refusal email in the book which i did so
refusal email in the book which i did so and who people said no like Danny Meyer
and who people said no like Danny Meyer
and who people said no like Danny Meyer Shake Shack and so on then you have Neal
Shake Shack and so on then you have Neal
Shake Shack and so on then you have Neal Stephenson incredible science fiction
Stephenson incredible science fiction
Stephenson incredible science fiction writer one of my favorites Snow Crash
writer one of my favorites Snow Crash
writer one of my favorites Snow Crash and many many others Wendy McDonough
and many many others Wendy McDonough
and many many others Wendy McDonough does an illustrator so you can copy and
does an illustrator so you can copy and
does an illustrator so you can copy and paste basically the language they use to
paste basically the language they use to
paste basically the language they use to make it easier for you to say no to all
make it easier for you to say no to all
make it easier for you to say no to all those invitations makes you go Zed we
those invitations makes you go Zed we
those invitations makes you go Zed we don’t get a response
don’t get a response
don’t get a response I like them more after being rejected
I like them more after being rejected
I like them more after being rejected which is a real Jedi trick to give it
which is a real Jedi trick to give it
which is a real Jedi trick to give it but give us a couple of the
but give us a couple of the
but give us a couple of the articulations no I’ll give you a couple
articulations no I’ll give you a couple
articulations no I’ll give you a couple of ideas and we’ll get people to buy the
of ideas and we’ll get people to buy the
of ideas and we’ll get people to buy the book – yeah oh no for sure there and
book – yeah oh no for sure there and
book – yeah oh no for sure there and there are dozens of different tool and
there are dozens of different tool and
there are dozens of different tool and the toolkit was your favorite though one
the toolkit was your favorite though one
the toolkit was your favorite though one of my favorites is using the word policy
of my favorites is using the word policy
of my favorites is using the word policy or vacation to make it a blanket refusal
or vacation to make it a blanket refusal
or vacation to make it a blanket refusal so for instance I was once refused for a
so for instance I was once refused for a
so for instance I was once refused for a lunch date with a very famous tech
lunch date with a very famous tech
lunch date with a very famous tech investor and he said sorry I’m just
investor and he said sorry I’m just
investor and he said sorry I’m just taking a I’m on a no meeting diet for
taking a I’m on a no meeting diet for
taking a I’m on a no meeting diet for the next month and as a policy I’m
the next month and as a policy I’m
the next month and as a policy I’m saying no to all meetings and I said
saying no to all meetings and I said
saying no to all meetings and I said that’s interesting no meeting died so I
that’s interesting no meeting died so I
that’s interesting no meeting died so I started using no conference called diet
started using no conference called diet
started using no conference called diet no this that and the other friend diet
no this that and the other friend diet
no this that and the other friend diet and people just rolled with it it was
and people just rolled with it it was
and people just rolled with it it was incredible there was no feedback no
incredible there was no feedback no
incredible there was no feedback no pushback that would be one because it’s
pushback that would be one because it’s
pushback that would be one because it’s not you it’s me right and it’s a way of
not you it’s me right and it’s a way of
not you it’s me right and it’s a way of breaking up with somebody and almost
breaking up with somebody and almost
breaking up with somebody and almost inevitably what they say is I’m so busy
inevitably what they say is I’m so busy
inevitably what they say is I’m so busy right now and over calendered that any
right now and over calendered that any
right now and over calendered that any response I were to give you anytime I
response I were to give you anytime I
response I were to give you anytime I already give you would find me
already give you would find me
already give you would find me distracted so I’d love to do it later
distracted so I’d love to do it later
distracted so I’d love to do it later but anything you’re gonna get right now
but anything you’re gonna get right now
but anything you’re gonna get right now out of me it’s gonna be media later
out of me it’s gonna be media later
out of me it’s gonna be media later though because that’s what this is the
though because that’s what this is the
though because that’s what this is the thing be careful you have to be really
thing be careful you have to be really
thing be careful you have to be really careful so there are people who take
careful so there are people who take
careful so there are people who take that approach and then there are other
that approach and then there are other
that approach and then there are other people like Dustin Moskovitz who’s also
people like Dustin Moskovitz who’s also
people like Dustin Moskovitz who’s also in tribe of mentors who says the first
in tribe of mentors who says the first
in tribe of mentors who says the first no is the cleanest not on the easiest
no is the cleanest not on the easiest
no is the cleanest not on the easiest you have to do it very clearly and very
you have to do it very clearly and very
you have to do it very clearly and very very early so he is a slightly different
very early so he is a slightly different
very early so he is a slightly different but similar approach to saying no and
but similar approach to saying no and
but similar approach to saying no and the best way to say no is not to respond
the best way to say no is not to respond
the best way to say no is not to respond at all I find so really I thought you
at all I find so really I thought you
at all I find so really I thought you just said you want to get the know you
just said you want to get the know you
just said you want to get the know you like people say well I like is the
like people say well I like is the
like people say well I like is the recipient for people to send me a very
recipient for people to send me a very
recipient for people to send me a very polite no but if you have as I do right
polite no but if you have as I do right
polite no but if you have as I do right now three hundred fifty five thousand
now three hundred fifty five thousand
now three hundred fifty five thousand plus unread email then the act of just
plus unread email then the act of just
plus unread email then the act of just parsing that what would take the rest of
parsing that what would take the rest of
parsing that what would take the rest of your life and in that respect
your life and in that respect
your life and in that respect cultivating selective ignorance and
cultivating selective ignorance and
cultivating selective ignorance and becoming comfortable with letting a lot
becoming comfortable with letting a lot
becoming comfortable with letting a lot of the trivial many slide which is
of the trivial many slide which is
of the trivial many slide which is another theme that comes up a lot is
another theme that comes up a lot is
another theme that comes up a lot is really important moving on the number
really important moving on the number
really important moving on the number three look for ease I’ve spent a lot of
three look for ease I’ve spent a lot of
three look for ease I’ve spent a lot of my life really angry and using rage and
my life really angry and using rage and
my life really angry and using rage and anger a lot of it directed at myself as
anger a lot of it directed at myself as
anger a lot of it directed at myself as a fuel for becoming a competitor because
a fuel for becoming a competitor because
a fuel for becoming a competitor because the only wealth the only way that I felt
the only wealth the only way that I felt
the only wealth the only way that I felt validated or valuable was to win period
validated or valuable was to win period
validated or valuable was to win period that’s it I was an instrument for
that’s it I was an instrument for
that’s it I was an instrument for winning and competing and I only felt
winning and competing and I only felt
winning and competing and I only felt good in in relationship to other people
good in in relationship to other people
good in in relationship to other people by somehow being able to tolerate more
by somehow being able to tolerate more
by somehow being able to tolerate more pain work harder to be number one and it
pain work harder to be number one and it
pain work harder to be number one and it was more a relief of not feeling
was more a relief of not feeling
was more a relief of not feeling terrible about myself for a fraction of
terrible about myself for a fraction of
terrible about myself for a fraction of a day then it was the joy of winning if
a day then it was the joy of winning if
a day then it was the joy of winning if that makes sense it totally and so for
that makes sense it totally and so for
that makes sense it totally and so for my whole life
my whole life
my whole life I’ve been so completely brutal to myself
I’ve been so completely brutal to myself
I’ve been so completely brutal to myself and I’ve realized through a number of
and I’ve realized through a number of
and I’ve realized through a number of different means you know one of which
different means you know one of which
different means you know one of which anybody can pick up which is actually a
anybody can pick up which is actually a
anybody can pick up which is actually a book called radical acceptance by Tara
book called radical acceptance by Tara
book called radical acceptance by Tara brach which terrible terrible title love
brach which terrible terrible title love
brach which terrible terrible title love Tara brach but very very helpful
Tara brach but very very helpful
Tara brach but very very helpful introduction to thinking about the
introduction to thinking about the
introduction to thinking about the potential idea that if you want to
potential idea that if you want to
potential idea that if you want to really help people or you want to really
really help people or you want to really
really help people or you want to really love people you can’t do it if you have
love people you can’t do it if you have
love people you can’t do it if you have if you hate yourself
if you hate yourself
if you hate yourself you just cannot fully do it you cannot I
you just cannot fully do it you cannot I
you just cannot fully do it you cannot I don’t think it’s possible so the last
don’t think it’s possible so the last
don’t think it’s possible so the last few years have been and especially the
few years have been and especially the
few years have been and especially the last one or two years a process of
last one or two years a process of
last one or two years a process of asking different questions and one of
asking different questions and one of
asking different questions and one of the questions there are many different
the questions there are many different
the questions there are many different questions but one of the most important
questions but one of the most important
questions but one of the most important which which is right up front in this
which which is right up front in this
which which is right up front in this book and the reason the book kind of
book and the reason the book kind of
book and the reason the book kind of exists in a way is what what might this
exists in a way is what what might this
exists in a way is what what might this look like if it were easy things are
look like if it were easy things are
look like if it were easy things are hard enough or they can be and there’s
hard enough or they can be and there’s
hard enough or they can be and there’s so much uncertainty in the world that
so much uncertainty in the world that
so much uncertainty in the world that for type-a personalities or people
for type-a personalities or people
for type-a personalities or people who’ve been wounded and have become very
who’ve been wounded and have become very
who’ve been wounded and have become very highly competitive as a result are
highly competitive as a result are
highly competitive as a result are highly driven I’m hardly driven yeah
highly driven I’m hardly driven yeah
highly driven I’m hardly driven yeah right and driven we usually use as a
right and driven we usually use as a
right and driven we usually use as a very complimentary descriptor but you
very complimentary descriptor but you
very complimentary descriptor but you know horse that’s being whipped to run
know horse that’s being whipped to run
know horse that’s being whipped to run faster until it dies on the track is
faster until it dies on the track is
faster until it dies on the track is also being driven yes and that’s not
also being driven yes and that’s not
also being driven yes and that’s not always a good thing and very often a bad
always a good thing and very often a bad
always a good thing and very often a bad thing that question what might this look
thing that question what might this look
thing that question what might this look like if it were easy is real
like if it were easy is real
like if it were easy is real deceptively leveraged question because
deceptively leveraged question because
deceptively leveraged question because you start to look for elegance and ease
you start to look for elegance and ease
you start to look for elegance and ease instead of the path of complexity that
instead of the path of complexity that
instead of the path of complexity that allows you to absorb and tolerate the
allows you to absorb and tolerate the
allows you to absorb and tolerate the most pain which some people myself
most pain which some people myself
most pain which some people myself included for a long time
included for a long time
included for a long time viewed as an indicator of doing the
viewed as an indicator of doing the
viewed as an indicator of doing the right thing or and sometimes for me of
right thing or and sometimes for me of
right thing or and sometimes for me of strength yeah yeah it’s like oh yeah no
strength yeah yeah it’s like oh yeah no
strength yeah yeah it’s like oh yeah no I can read line for longer than all of
I can read line for longer than all of
I can read line for longer than all of you
you
you yep it’s like wait a second yeah wait
yep it’s like wait a second yeah wait
yep it’s like wait a second yeah wait what do we talk yes
what do we talk yes
what do we talk yes and this is good yeah this thing like
and this is good yeah this thing like
and this is good yeah this thing like and there it don’t get me wrong there
and there it don’t get me wrong there
and there it don’t get me wrong there there is strength and there are
there is strength and there are
there is strength and there are advantages to having endurance but only
advantages to having endurance but only
advantages to having endurance but only when you’re enduring things that are
when you’re enduring things that are
when you’re enduring things that are worth enduring
worth enduring
worth enduring mm-hmm as opposed to just making your
mm-hmm as opposed to just making your
mm-hmm as opposed to just making your life painful so long answer long
life painful so long answer long
life painful so long answer long monologue but I do think it’s very
monologue but I do think it’s very
monologue but I do think it’s very important to talk about the darkness and
important to talk about the darkness and
important to talk about the darkness and the failures and the hard times and when
the failures and the hard times and when
the failures and the hard times and when I interview people I always try to bring
I interview people I always try to bring
I interview people I always try to bring that out because it’s so easy like you
that out because it’s so easy like you
that out because it’s so easy like you said to listen to an interview or to see
said to listen to an interview or to see
said to listen to an interview or to see someone on the cover of a magazine and
someone on the cover of a magazine and
someone on the cover of a magazine and think to yourself wow I really wish I
think to yourself wow I really wish I
think to yourself wow I really wish I could do something like that but I’m me
could do something like that but I’m me
could do something like that but I’m me and they’re them and they’ve got to
and they’re them and they’ve got to
and they’re them and they’ve got to figure it out yeah and they always wake
figure it out yeah and they always wake
figure it out yeah and they always wake up at 6:00 in the morning with like a
up at 6:00 in the morning with like a
up at 6:00 in the morning with like a mental karate chop to copy the day with
mental karate chop to copy the day with
mental karate chop to copy the day with no insecurities and that’s just
no insecurities and that’s just
no insecurities and that’s just it’s not true and I can tell you with
it’s not true and I can tell you with
it’s not true and I can tell you with first-hand knowledge knowing some of the
first-hand knowledge knowing some of the
first-hand knowledge knowing some of the most impressive people I’ve ever come
most impressive people I’ve ever come
most impressive people I’ve ever come across in the world who become my
across in the world who become my
across in the world who become my friends we all have our demons so I want
friends we all have our demons so I want
friends we all have our demons so I want I make a real conscious effort to talk
I make a real conscious effort to talk
I make a real conscious effort to talk about those so that people can try to
about those so that people can try to
about those so that people can try to create a safety net against
create a safety net against
create a safety net against self-destruction and certainly at least
self-destruction and certainly at least
self-destruction and certainly at least self-flagellation
self-flagellation
self-flagellation and braiding next up at number four ask
and braiding next up at number four ask
and braiding next up at number four ask better questions questions are
better questions questions are
better questions questions are critically important because first and
critically important because first and
critically important because first and foremost thinking what goes on here is
foremost thinking what goes on here is
foremost thinking what goes on here is largely asking yourself questions and
largely asking yourself questions and
largely asking yourself questions and answering them secondly if you want to
answering them secondly if you want to
answering them secondly if you want to get anything in life chances are it’s
get anything in life chances are it’s
get anything in life chances are it’s inside someone else’s head the knowledge
inside someone else’s head the knowledge
inside someone else’s head the knowledge the skills the blueprint and the pickaxe
the skills the blueprint and the pickaxe
the skills the blueprint and the pickaxe for getting that gold is in the form of
for getting that gold is in the form of
for getting that gold is in the form of questions all right so there are few
questions all right so there are few
questions all right so there are few things you can do to improve questions
things you can do to improve questions
things you can do to improve questions number one is study questions watch
number one is study questions watch
number one is study questions watch inside the Actors Studio listen to Terry
inside the Actors Studio listen to Terry
inside the Actors Studio listen to Terry Gross listen to podcasts whether mine or
Gross listen to podcasts whether mine or
Gross listen to podcasts whether mine or Joe Rogan’s or others so that you can
Joe Rogan’s or others so that you can
Joe Rogan’s or others so that you can borrow questions and test them on other
borrow questions and test them on other
borrow questions and test them on other people and there are few things to
people and there are few things to
people and there are few things to consider when you’re formulating
consider when you’re formulating
consider when you’re formulating questions number one is can it be
questions number one is can it be
questions number one is can it be answered relatively quickly so for
answered relatively quickly so for
answered relatively quickly so for instance if you found someone you
instance if you found someone you
instance if you found someone you idolize you’re in an elevator oh my god
idolize you’re in an elevator oh my god
idolize you’re in an elevator oh my god it’s Jimmy Fallon if you asked Jimmy a
it’s Jimmy Fallon if you asked Jimmy a
it’s Jimmy Fallon if you asked Jimmy a question could he come up with a really
question could he come up with a really
question could he come up with a really concrete answer in five seconds or less
concrete answer in five seconds or less
concrete answer in five seconds or less the answer’s no find a different
the answer’s no find a different
the answer’s no find a different question for you or for other people so
question for you or for other people so
question for you or for other people so what is your favorite book for instance
what is your favorite book for instance
what is your favorite book for instance not a good question because people have
not a good question because people have
not a good question because people have read hundreds or thousands of books in
read hundreds or thousands of books in
read hundreds or thousands of books in many cases but what book or books have
many cases but what book or books have
many cases but what book or books have you gifted the most to other people it’s
you gifted the most to other people it’s
you gifted the most to other people it’s gonna be a short list the search query
gonna be a short list the search query
gonna be a short list the search query is really refined it’s fast click
is really refined it’s fast click
is really refined it’s fast click alright much like asking yourself what
alright much like asking yourself what
alright much like asking yourself what makes me happy is not really a great
makes me happy is not really a great
makes me happy is not really a great questions too broad and it takes too
questions too broad and it takes too
questions too broad and it takes too long to search but let’s just say what
long to search but let’s just say what
long to search but let’s just say what makes me feel most relieved after work
makes me feel most relieved after work
makes me feel most relieved after work when I get home or what activities which
when I get home or what activities which
when I get home or what activities which people all right now we’re more refined
people all right now we’re more refined
people all right now we’re more refined you can answer it much more quickly and
you can answer it much more quickly and
you can answer it much more quickly and it’s more actionable a few things you
it’s more actionable a few things you
it’s more actionable a few things you should not do if you meet someone who is
should not do if you meet someone who is
should not do if you meet someone who is say just above your weight class in
say just above your weight class in
say just above your weight class in terms of professional development and
terms of professional development and
terms of professional development and you want to connect with them don’t ask
you want to connect with them don’t ask
you want to connect with them don’t ask them questions that you could answer on
them questions that you could answer on
them questions that you could answer on google number one all right number two
google number one all right number two
google number one all right number two don’t ask them really broad questions
don’t ask them really broad questions
don’t ask them really broad questions they couldn’t conceivably
they couldn’t conceivably
they couldn’t conceivably answer quickly right what should I do
answer quickly right what should I do
answer quickly right what should I do what advice would you give me for
what advice would you give me for
what advice would you give me for succeeding these are not good terms
succeeding these are not good terms
succeeding these are not good terms if you can’t define success in say 10
if you can’t define success in say 10
if you can’t define success in say 10 words or less get rid of it lose it from
words or less get rid of it lose it from
words or less get rid of it lose it from the question all right and I would
the question all right and I would
the question all right and I would encourage you to strive to be interested
encourage you to strive to be interested
encourage you to strive to be interested in the form of good questions
in the form of good questions
in the form of good questions if you seek to be perceived as
if you seek to be perceived as
if you seek to be perceived as interesting stop talking start thinking
interesting stop talking start thinking
interesting stop talking start thinking about questions and then stop and listen
about questions and then stop and listen
about questions and then stop and listen moving on the number five learn how to
moving on the number five learn how to
moving on the number five learn how to make decisions another would be and I
make decisions another would be and I
make decisions another would be and I don’t know if you’ve ever had any
don’t know if you’ve ever had any
don’t know if you’ve ever had any interaction with Kyle Maynard Kyle
interaction with Kyle Maynard Kyle
interaction with Kyle Maynard Kyle maynard’s fascinating guy he’s that he
maynard’s fascinating guy he’s that he
maynard’s fascinating guy he’s that he was born a congenital quad amputee so he
was born a congenital quad amputee so he
was born a congenital quad amputee so he is his arms and before the elbows and
is his arms and before the elbows and
is his arms and before the elbows and his legs before the knees nonetheless he
his legs before the knees nonetheless he
his legs before the knees nonetheless he is in the National Wrestling Hall of
is in the National Wrestling Hall of
is in the National Wrestling Hall of Fame like collegiate wrestling and is
Fame like collegiate wrestling and is
Fame like collegiate wrestling and is the first person to ever climb Mount
the first person to ever climb Mount
the first person to ever climb Mount Kilimanjaro without prosthetics so he
Kilimanjaro without prosthetics so he
Kilimanjaro without prosthetics so he military crawled the entire mountains
military crawled the entire mountains
military crawled the entire mountains he’s such a stud and he was taught by a
he’s such a stud and he was taught by a
he’s such a stud and he was taught by a CEO at one point the CEOs used this for
CEO at one point the CEOs used this for
CEO at one point the CEOs used this for hiring but you can use it for anything
hiring but you can use it for anything
hiring but you can use it for anything this particular CEO very successful
this particular CEO very successful
this particular CEO very successful would have his current employees rank
would have his current employees rank
would have his current employees rank prospective employees from one to ten
prospective employees from one to ten
prospective employees from one to ten and that’s not interesting by itself his
and that’s not interesting by itself his
and that’s not interesting by itself his rule was you can’t use seven so I wanted
rule was you can’t use seven so I wanted
rule was you can’t use seven so I wanted a ranking from one to ten
a ranking from one to ten
a ranking from one to ten you can’t answer seven and what what
you can’t answer seven and what what
you can’t answer seven and what what ends up being so beautiful about that
ends up being so beautiful about that
ends up being so beautiful about that and leveraged is that seven is a safe
and leveraged is that seven is a safe
and leveraged is that seven is a safe number it’s kind of like the non
number it’s kind of like the non
number it’s kind of like the non offensive Switzerland of answers it’s
offensive Switzerland of answers it’s
offensive Switzerland of answers it’s not committal it’s not too bad so you
not committal it’s not too bad so you
not committal it’s not too bad so you can wiggle out of it whereas if you’re
can wiggle out of it whereas if you’re
can wiggle out of it whereas if you’re choosing a six that’s barely passing
choosing a six that’s barely passing
choosing a six that’s barely passing that’s not good if it’s an eight you’re
that’s not good if it’s an eight you’re
that’s not good if it’s an eight you’re indicating you are pretty stoked like
indicating you are pretty stoked like
indicating you are pretty stoked like you’re vouching you forced them to make
you’re vouching you forced them to make
you’re vouching you forced them to make a decision exactly so you can love it
a decision exactly so you can love it
a decision exactly so you can love it one to ten no seven and so I’ve used
one to ten no seven and so I’ve used
one to ten no seven and so I’ve used that and kylus used it for say invasions
that and kylus used it for say invasions
that and kylus used it for say invasions right anything imitation to conferences
right anything imitation to conferences
right anything imitation to conferences invitations to coffee whatever it might
invitations to coffee whatever it might
invitations to coffee whatever it might be it’s like decisions in life decisions
be it’s like decisions in life decisions
be it’s like decisions in life decisions in life and finally number six meditate
in life and finally number six meditate
in life and finally number six meditate I want to hear your response to one of
I want to hear your response to one of
I want to hear your response to one of the questions that you sent to all of us
the questions that you sent to all of us
the questions that you sent to all of us let’s do it so in the last five years
let’s do it so in the last five years
let’s do it so in the last five years what new belief behavior or habit has
what new belief behavior or habit has
what new belief behavior or habit has most improved your life so for everybody
most improved your life so for everybody
most improved your life so for everybody watching when you get this book this is
watching when you get this book this is
watching when you get this book this is one of the questions that many of us
one of the questions that many of us
one of the questions that many of us quote-unquote mentors have answered yeah
quote-unquote mentors have answered yeah
quote-unquote mentors have answered yeah I would say for me it is a can
I would say for me it is a can
I would say for me it is a can stint morning practice before taking my
stint morning practice before taking my
stint morning practice before taking my phone off of airplane mode of sitting
phone off of airplane mode of sitting
phone off of airplane mode of sitting and doing a meditative practice for say
and doing a meditative practice for say
and doing a meditative practice for say 20 minutes and it’s stuck initially by
20 minutes and it’s stuck initially by
20 minutes and it’s stuck initially by taking a transmittal meditation class of
taking a transmittal meditation class of
taking a transmittal meditation class of perhaps three days when I was go through
perhaps three days when I was go through
perhaps three days when I was go through a very very difficult time and Chase
a very very difficult time and Chase
a very very difficult time and Chase Jarvis who’s awesome and I’ve hugely
Jarvis who’s awesome and I’ve hugely
Jarvis who’s awesome and I’ve hugely successful commercial photographer he’s
successful commercial photographer he’s
successful commercial photographer he’s worked at every big brand you can
worked at every big brand you can
worked at every big brand you can imagine and is also a very good CEO both
imagine and is also a very good CEO both
imagine and is also a very good CEO both he and Rick Rubin is like the most
he and Rick Rubin is like the most
he and Rick Rubin is like the most legendary music producer of all time
legendary music producer of all time
legendary music producer of all time just look at his disco discography it’s
just look at his disco discography it’s
just look at his disco discography it’s insane it’s like Johnny Cash Eminem
insane it’s like Johnny Cash Eminem
insane it’s like Johnny Cash Eminem jay-z Metallica you know the list is
jay-z Metallica you know the list is
jay-z Metallica you know the list is absurd it’s like everybody you’ve ever
absurd it’s like everybody you’ve ever
absurd it’s like everybody you’ve ever heard of and he also said to me at one
heard of and he also said to me at one
heard of and he also said to me at one point because I was going through a
point because I was going through a
point because I was going through a really rough time and I was very tightly
really rough time and I was very tightly
really rough time and I was very tightly wound he said have you ever considered
wound he said have you ever considered
wound he said have you ever considered TM and I’m like mantra like you pay them
TM and I’m like mantra like you pay them
TM and I’m like mantra like you pay them to give you a mantra it’s a cult like I
to give you a mantra it’s a cult like I
to give you a mantra it’s a cult like I don’t want to be part of a cult and on
don’t want to be part of a cult and on
don’t want to be part of a cult and on and on and on and on they’re like now
and on and on and on they’re like now
and on and on and on they’re like now it’s actually really secular and I know
it’s actually really secular and I know
it’s actually really secular and I know there’s like a little bit of weird stuff
there’s like a little bit of weird stuff
there’s like a little bit of weird stuff but you can just ignore that it’s like
but you can just ignore that it’s like
but you can just ignore that it’s like the first hour of the talk just ignore
the first hour of the talk just ignore
the first hour of the talk just ignore it what do you have to lose and I was
it what do you have to lose and I was
it what do you have to lose and I was going through such a difficult period at
going through such a difficult period at
going through such a difficult period at one point as it you know that’s a good
one point as it you know that’s a good
one point as it you know that’s a good point
point
point so I did it and that kick-started the
so I did it and that kick-started the
so I did it and that kick-started the meditation and then I experimented with
meditation and then I experimented with
meditation and then I experimented with other things like headspace which I have
other things like headspace which I have
other things like headspace which I have no vested interest in so it’s you start
no vested interest in so it’s you start
no vested interest in so it’s you start with 10 minutes a day for 10 days as a
with 10 minutes a day for 10 days as a
with 10 minutes a day for 10 days as a proof of concept and the way I’d
proof of concept and the way I’d
proof of concept and the way I’d encourage people to think about
encourage people to think about
encourage people to think about meditation because it can sound very
meditation because it can sound very
meditation because it can sound very woowoo and I certainly was repelled by
woowoo and I certainly was repelled by
woowoo and I certainly was repelled by it for a long time is you are sitting
it for a long time is you are sitting
it for a long time is you are sitting down say on a couch to practice
down say on a couch to practice
down say on a couch to practice observing your thoughts and feelings and
observing your thoughts and feelings and
observing your thoughts and feelings and emotions for a very short period of time
emotions for a very short period of time
emotions for a very short period of time so that for the rest of the day you are
so that for the rest of the day you are
so that for the rest of the day you are less emotionally reactive what this
less emotionally reactive what this
less emotionally reactive what this means is you are rehearsing you are
means is you are rehearsing you are
means is you are rehearsing you are training it’s like going to the gym so
training it’s like going to the gym so
training it’s like going to the gym so let’s say you’re training for a sport
let’s say you’re training for a sport
let’s say you’re training for a sport all right so you’re an athlete an X you
all right so you’re an athlete an X you
all right so you’re an athlete an X you go to the gym to do squats to do this
go to the gym to do squats to do this
go to the gym to do squats to do this this and this so that when you get on
this and this so that when you get on
this and this so that when you get on the playing field you can perform better
the playing field you can perform better
the playing field you can perform better it’s exactly the same
it’s exactly the same
it’s exactly the same you’re rehearsing and training for your
you’re rehearsing and training for your
you’re rehearsing and training for your day and then when you run into something
day and then when you run into something
day and then when you run into something that normally would trigger you whether
that normally would trigger you whether
that normally would trigger you whether that’s a certain type of email whether
that’s a certain type of email whether
that’s a certain type of email whether that’s an employee who has a habit that
that’s an employee who has a habit that
that’s an employee who has a habit that drives you insane or you being behind in
drives you insane or you being behind in
drives you insane or you being behind in your schedule and then the line at
your schedule and then the line at
your schedule and then the line at Starbucks is longer than you would like
Starbucks is longer than you would like
Starbucks is longer than you would like whatever happens to be the things that
whatever happens to be the things that
whatever happens to be the things that would normally cause you to get really
would normally cause you to get really
would normally cause you to get really tightly wound or explode or berate
tightly wound or explode or berate
tightly wound or explode or berate yourself or other people you will then
yourself or other people you will then
yourself or other people you will then start to spot before you have the
start to spot before you have the
start to spot before you have the reaction and then you say okay the half
reaction and then you say okay the half
reaction and then you say okay the half a second of breathing let me choose my
a second of breathing let me choose my
a second of breathing let me choose my response instead of being a hot held
response instead of being a hot held
response instead of being a hot held hostage to these loops and triggers that
hostage to these loops and triggers that
hostage to these loops and triggers that we all have so that has been enormous
we all have so that has been enormous
we all have so that has been enormous lis enormous ly helpful for me so thank
lis enormous ly helpful for me so thank
lis enormous ly helpful for me so thank you guys so much for watching I hope you
you guys so much for watching I hope you
you guys so much for watching I hope you enjoyed I love to know which of the tips
enjoyed I love to know which of the tips
enjoyed I love to know which of the tips had the biggest impact on you what
had the biggest impact on you what
had the biggest impact on you what you’re going to immediately apply
you’re going to immediately apply
you’re going to immediately apply somehow to your life with your business
somehow to your life with your business
somehow to your life with your business my personal favorite was number one
my personal favorite was number one
my personal favorite was number one which was fine mentors and I love that
which was fine mentors and I love that
which was fine mentors and I love that idea of asking people questions that you
idea of asking people questions that you
idea of asking people questions that you were trying to solve for yourself
were trying to solve for yourself
were trying to solve for yourself so he’s turned that into a podcast and
so he’s turned that into a podcast and
so he’s turned that into a podcast and basically he books his guests off his
basically he books his guests off his
basically he books his guests off his own interests and to become coaching for
own interests and to become coaching for
own interests and to become coaching for himself free life coaching for himself
himself free life coaching for himself
himself free life coaching for himself based off of people who he really looks
based off of people who he really looks
based off of people who he really looks up to and I really like that concept and
up to and I really like that concept and
up to and I really like that concept and it’s something that we’re doing here
it’s something that we’re doing here
it’s something that we’re doing here pretty soon on episodes of unlocking
pretty soon on episodes of unlocking
pretty soon on episodes of unlocking Lily where she’s reaching out to people
Lily where she’s reaching out to people
Lily where she’s reaching out to people to get some questions that she wants
to get some questions that she wants
to get some questions that she wants answered for herself the one that really
answered for herself the one that really
answered for herself the one that really was a question mark for me was number
was a question mark for me was number
was a question mark for me was number six meditate lots of people have talked
six meditate lots of people have talked
six meditate lots of people have talked about meditating
about meditating
about meditating I’ve tried meditating at least 30
I’ve tried meditating at least 30
I’ve tried meditating at least 30 different times in different ways
different times in different ways
different times in different ways different programs and nothing has stuck
different programs and nothing has stuck
different programs and nothing has stuck I’ve never felt it I’ve never felt the
I’ve never felt it I’ve never felt the
I’ve never felt it I’ve never felt the feeling that people feel when they say
feeling that people feel when they say
feeling that people feel when they say like this has been the biggest benefit
like this has been the biggest benefit
like this has been the biggest benefit to me for the past six years so ever the
to me for the past six years so ever the
to me for the past six years so ever the question was that Marie asked him and I
question was that Marie asked him and I
question was that Marie asked him and I think headspace as a tool that Tim
think headspace as a tool that Tim
think headspace as a tool that Tim mentioned I’ve tried and you know it
mentioned I’ve tried and you know it
mentioned I’ve tried and you know it didn’t work for me I did the 10 days I
didn’t work for me I did the 10 days I
didn’t work for me I did the 10 days I did I just kept going it did 30 days I
did I just kept going it did 30 days I
did I just kept going it did 30 days I did more it was good at just the
did more it was good at just the
did more it was good at just the rigorous practice here we go but I never
rigorous practice here we go but I never
rigorous practice here we go but I never really left it feeling so much better or
really left it feeling so much better or
really left it feeling so much better or more relieved one thing that was super
more relieved one thing that was super
more relieved one thing that was super interesting that he said was it makes it
interesting that he said was it makes it
interesting that he said was it makes it less mo
less mo
less mo surely reactive was at it less than
surely reactive was at it less than
surely reactive was at it less than motional reactive yeah and I’m not
motional reactive yeah and I’m not
motional reactive yeah and I’m not really emotionally active in general I
really emotionally active in general I
really emotionally active in general I don’t say things that I regret I’m
don’t say things that I regret I’m
don’t say things that I regret I’m pretty careful with my words I can get
pretty careful with my words I can get
pretty careful with my words I can get excited and passionate and come out when
excited and passionate and come out when
excited and passionate and come out when I’m talking to you guys on YouTube
I’m talking to you guys on YouTube
I’m talking to you guys on YouTube making videos but I’ve thought through a
making videos but I’ve thought through a
making videos but I’ve thought through a lot of these issues and the passion is
lot of these issues and the passion is
lot of these issues and the passion is from a good place I think not a negative
from a good place I think not a negative
from a good place I think not a negative one I don’t berate people I don’t I
one I don’t berate people I don’t I
one I don’t berate people I don’t I don’t say things that I regret and so
don’t say things that I regret and so
don’t say things that I regret and so maybe because I’m not seeking to be less
maybe because I’m not seeking to be less
maybe because I’m not seeking to be less emotionally reactive
emotionally reactive
emotionally reactive maybe that’s why meditation hasn’t quite
maybe that’s why meditation hasn’t quite
maybe that’s why meditation hasn’t quite worked for me or maybe I’m just trying
worked for me or maybe I’m just trying
worked for me or maybe I’m just trying to find a reason error excuse I will not
to find a reason error excuse I will not
to find a reason error excuse I will not give up on my meditation journey and I’m
give up on my meditation journey and I’m
give up on my meditation journey and I’m open to other opportunities anyway those
open to other opportunities anyway those
open to other opportunities anyway those are my quick thoughts I’d love to hear
are my quick thoughts I’d love to hear
are my quick thoughts I’d love to hear which rule again had the biggest impact
which rule again had the biggest impact
which rule again had the biggest impact on you and why leave it down the count’s
on you and why leave it down the count’s
on you and why leave it down the count’s below I’m looking forward to hearing
below I’m looking forward to hearing
below I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say finally I want to
what you have to say finally I want to
what you have to say finally I want to give a quick shout out to Michael
give a quick shout out to Michael
give a quick shout out to Michael Patrick from still field 21 thank you so
Patrick from still field 21 thank you so
Patrick from still field 21 thank you so much Michael for picking up a copy of my
much Michael for picking up a copy of my
much Michael for picking up a copy of my book your one word and doing the review
book your one word and doing the review
book your one word and doing the review on your YouTube channel I really
on your YouTube channel I really
on your YouTube channel I really appreciate the support man and I’m so
appreciate the support man and I’m so
appreciate the support man and I’m so glad that you enjoyed my book Evan
glad that you enjoyed my book Evan
glad that you enjoyed my book Evan Carmichael someone I need to get
Carmichael someone I need to get
Carmichael someone I need to get familiar with thank you guys again for
familiar with thank you guys again for
familiar with thank you guys again for watching I believe in you I hope you
watching I believe in you I hope you
watching I believe in you I hope you continue to believe in yourself and
continue to believe in yourself and
continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is
whatever your one word is
whatever your one word is much love I’ll see you soon raise your
much love I’ll see you soon raise your
much love I’ll see you soon raise your standard Apple at the core its core
standard Apple at the core its core
standard Apple at the core its core values is that mm-hmm that people your
values is that mm-hmm that people your
values is that mm-hmm that people your passion and not one drop of most
passion and not one drop of most
passion and not one drop of most self-worth depends on your it’s supposed
self-worth depends on your it’s supposed
self-worth depends on your it’s supposed to mean I don’t ever give up I’d have to
to mean I don’t ever give up I’d have to
to mean I don’t ever give up I’d have to be
be
be that are completely infested hey believe
that are completely infested hey believe
that are completely infested hey believe nation if you want to see my all-time
nation if you want to see my all-time
nation if you want to see my all-time favorite top 10 gross a success I have a
favorite top 10 gross a success I have a
favorite top 10 gross a success I have a very special secret video for you these
very special secret video for you these
very special secret video for you these are the individual clips that I have
are the individual clips that I have
are the individual clips that I have personally learned the most from and
personally learned the most from and
personally learned the most from and applied to my life and my business check
applied to my life and my business check
applied to my life and my business check the link the description for details
”
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