
all right thanks again so it was an average school day in the fall of 2013
average school day in the fall of 2013
average school day in the fall of 2013 when I walked back to my classroom to
when I walked back to my classroom to
when I walked back to my classroom to find a woman standing outside my door
find a woman standing outside my door
find a woman standing outside my door and she was looking around and as I
and she was looking around and as I
and she was looking around and as I approached her she turned and said did
approached her she turned and said did
approached her she turned and said did you know that you have a purple bubble
you know that you have a purple bubble
you know that you have a purple bubble around your space and I said no I guess
around your space and I said no I guess
around your space and I said no I guess I didn’t and so and she
I didn’t and so and she
I didn’t and so and she toom then well she and she went on to
toom then well she and she went on to
toom then well she and she went on to tell me that she had followed a group of
tell me that she had followed a group of
tell me that she had followed a group of crows who had directed her to our school
crows who had directed her to our school
crows who had directed her to our school that day and that she was grateful that
that day and that she was grateful that
that day and that she was grateful that she did she said I’m familiar with these
she did she said I’m familiar with these
she did she said I’m familiar with these faces familiar with these faces I’ve
faces familiar with these faces I’ve
faces familiar with these faces I’ve worked in this school I’ve worked with
worked in this school I’ve worked with
worked in this school I’ve worked with these very same students and then
these very same students and then
these very same students and then something feels different here I like it
something feels different here I like it
something feels different here I like it I like the way the students feel the
I like the way the students feel the
I like the way the students feel the space feels different I want to know
space feels different I want to know
space feels different I want to know exactly what’s going on I’m still not
exactly what’s going on I’m still not
exactly what’s going on I’m still not sure who she was I said well I guess
sure who she was I said well I guess
sure who she was I said well I guess we’re just doing some good work together
we’re just doing some good work together
we’re just doing some good work together my students and I is all very well well
my students and I is all very well well
my students and I is all very well well whatever it is it needs to extend beyond
whatever it is it needs to extend beyond
whatever it is it needs to extend beyond these four walls I’m a marriage of
these four walls I’m a marriage of
these four walls I’m a marriage of family counselor I’m a crisis
family counselor I’m a crisis
family counselor I’m a crisis intervention team director and a mental
intervention team director and a mental
intervention team director and a mental health provider I work with students in
health provider I work with students in
health provider I work with students in the gym now at the judicial system and
the gym now at the judicial system and
the gym now at the judicial system and whatever is happening here those
whatever is happening here those
whatever is happening here those students they’re not ready to learn I
students they’re not ready to learn I
students they’re not ready to learn I need them to get available to learn so
need them to get available to learn so
need them to get available to learn so I’ll tell you what to do come up with a
I’ll tell you what to do come up with a
I’ll tell you what to do come up with a timely program I’m going to shop around
timely program I’m going to shop around
timely program I’m going to shop around for it to get it funded and then be in
for it to get it funded and then be in
for it to get it funded and then be in touch we’ll go from there thank you so
touch we’ll go from there thank you so
touch we’ll go from there thank you so much for letting me be in your space
much for letting me be in your space
much for letting me be in your space today it was all so quick right that I’m
today it was all so quick right that I’m
today it was all so quick right that I’m like you’re welcome and so so as she’s
like you’re welcome and so so as she’s
like you’re welcome and so so as she’s leaving she turns and says it’s a funny
leaving she turns and says it’s a funny
leaving she turns and says it’s a funny thing about those crows they never lead
thing about those crows they never lead
thing about those crows they never lead me astray
me astray
me astray they say well I just imagine they
they say well I just imagine they
they say well I just imagine they wouldn’t and so so what that was for me
wouldn’t and so so what that was for me
wouldn’t and so so what that was for me what that turned out to be that
what that turned out to be that
what that turned out to be that interaction was an invitation for deep
interaction was an invitation for deep
interaction was an invitation for deep reflection on what exactly it was my
reflection on what exactly it was my
reflection on what exactly it was my students and I were doing together what
students and I were doing together what
students and I were doing together what was the good work we were doing together
was the good work we were doing together
was the good work we were doing together and and how was that impacting the
and and how was that impacting the
and and how was that impacting the experience around us and so I sat with
experience around us and so I sat with
experience around us and so I sat with that let’s see is that with that
that let’s see is that with that
that let’s see is that with that and I said with my own experience I set
and I said with my own experience I set
and I said with my own experience I set with my experience with my students and
with my experience with my students and
with my experience with my students and what I realized is there was a call for
what I realized is there was a call for
what I realized is there was a call for deep presence and that is one of the
deep presence and that is one of the
deep presence and that is one of the most important things that I that I
most important things that I that I
most important things that I that I could identify that my students and I
could identify that my students and I
could identify that my students and I had uncovered together a comforting
had uncovered together a comforting
had uncovered together a comforting presence in the way of being with one
presence in the way of being with one
presence in the way of being with one another our students are expressing
another our students are expressing
another our students are expressing their needs at all times we all are
their needs at all times we all are
their needs at all times we all are actually in communication we’re
actually in communication we’re
actually in communication we’re expressing our needs through our
expressing our needs through our
expressing our needs through our communication however most of us are not
communication however most of us are not
communication however most of us are not taught how to do that in a way that will
taught how to do that in a way that will
taught how to do that in a way that will get those needs met so our students will
get those needs met so our students will
get those needs met so our students will do it often through their behavior right
do it often through their behavior right
do it often through their behavior right and then what the pressures put on
and then what the pressures put on
and then what the pressures put on teachers we don’t always have the ears
teachers we don’t always have the ears
teachers we don’t always have the ears to listen or turned on to listen to what
to listen or turned on to listen to what
to listen or turned on to listen to what that need might be this being expressed
that need might be this being expressed
that need might be this being expressed through that major disruption or even a
through that major disruption or even a
through that major disruption or even a minor disruption even today schools and
minor disruption even today schools and
minor disruption even today schools and university teacher training programs are
university teacher training programs are
university teacher training programs are not training teachers on how to regulate
not training teachers on how to regulate
not training teachers on how to regulate their own emotions as students act out
their own emotions as students act out
their own emotions as students act out there’s what we are taught to do is to
there’s what we are taught to do is to
there’s what we are taught to do is to manage behavior and so when we through
manage behavior and so when we through
manage behavior and so when we through behavior modification or we’re taught
behavior modification or we’re taught
behavior modification or we’re taught like what’s an appropriate consequence
like what’s an appropriate consequence
like what’s an appropriate consequence for this behavior and who should to whom
for this behavior and who should to whom
for this behavior and who should to whom should we send this student to deal with
should we send this student to deal with
should we send this student to deal with this right so let’s think about behavior
this right so let’s think about behavior
this right so let’s think about behavior when I hear misbehave right if you look
when I hear misbehave right if you look
when I hear misbehave right if you look this up it says it’s a verb of a parent
this up it says it’s a verb of a parent
this up it says it’s a verb of a parent or sorry of an adult especially a child
or sorry of an adult especially a child
or sorry of an adult especially a child it says who fails to conduct themselves
it says who fails to conduct themselves
it says who fails to conduct themselves in a way that is acceptable to others
in a way that is acceptable to others
in a way that is acceptable to others that’s a problem right but you behave
that’s a problem right but you behave
that’s a problem right but you behave badly right what I have learned through
badly right what I have learned through
badly right what I have learned through my interactions with my students is is
my interactions with my students is is
my interactions with my students is is something different about misbehavior
something different about misbehavior
something different about misbehavior for me the way I define this behavior
for me the way I define this behavior
for me the way I define this behavior the way I respond to it
the way I respond to it
the way I respond to it I define it as misbehavior is pain being
I define it as misbehavior is pain being
I define it as misbehavior is pain being expressed in appropriately with
expressed in appropriately with
expressed in appropriately with inappropriately being defined as not
inappropriately being defined as not
inappropriately being defined as not healing for the person expressing the
healing for the person expressing the
healing for the person expressing the pain and not healing for the person to
pain and not healing for the person to
pain and not healing for the person to whom the pain is being expressed this is
whom the pain is being expressed this is
whom the pain is being expressed this is what I this is what that opens up a
what I this is what that opens up a
what I this is what that opens up a different place in me and I don’t think
different place in me and I don’t think
different place in me and I don’t think about managing that child right I think
about managing that child right I think
about managing that child right I think about what we need to uncover together
about what we need to uncover together
about what we need to uncover together through the way we are with one another
through the way we are with one another
through the way we are with one another I do this by listening for the
I do this by listening for the
I do this by listening for the invitations my students have taught me
invitations my students have taught me
invitations my students have taught me there’s over the year what I’ve learned
there’s over the year what I’ve learned
there’s over the year what I’ve learned that there are always two
that there are always two
that there are always two leaves one invitation is for connection
leaves one invitation is for connection
leaves one invitation is for connection one invitation is for disconnection
one invitation is for disconnection
one invitation is for disconnection through deep presence whether it be
through deep presence whether it be
through deep presence whether it be through flee develop a mindfulness
through flee develop a mindfulness
through flee develop a mindfulness practice which I encourage mindfulness
practice which I encourage mindfulness
practice which I encourage mindfulness in schools through through D presents
in schools through through D presents
in schools through through D presents were able to begin to recognize those
were able to begin to recognize those
were able to begin to recognize those invitations what’s there and then be
invitations what’s there and then be
invitations what’s there and then be conscious and how we choose to respond I
conscious and how we choose to respond I
conscious and how we choose to respond I had a student one time who went to lunch
had a student one time who went to lunch
had a student one time who went to lunch and she saved the spot for her favorite
and she saved the spot for her favorite
and she saved the spot for her favorite friend to sit down beside her and she
friend to sit down beside her and she
friend to sit down beside her and she fought for that spot she didn’t just say
fought for that spot she didn’t just say
fought for that spot she didn’t just say that she put her leg got fought for it
that she put her leg got fought for it
that she put her leg got fought for it so no one else could sit there when the
so no one else could sit there when the
so no one else could sit there when the friend came out she said I saved you a
friend came out she said I saved you a
friend came out she said I saved you a spot come and sit down and the friend
spot come and sit down and the friend
spot come and sit down and the friend said I will appear I may be not a friend
said I will appear I may be not a friend
said I will appear I may be not a friend of here said not let’s sit by you and
of here said not let’s sit by you and
of here said not let’s sit by you and everybody laughed right so my student
everybody laughed right so my student
everybody laughed right so my student says well you’re a witch – the W plus
says well you’re a witch – the W plus
says well you’re a witch – the W plus the B ok and so and so the support staff
the B ok and so and so the support staff
the B ok and so and so the support staff students are up to my room to deal with
students are up to my room to deal with
students are up to my room to deal with her behavior right and so she comes to
her behavior right and so she comes to
her behavior right and so she comes to me and I said did you call her which no
me and I said did you call her which no
me and I said did you call her which no one ever said that before whatever but
one ever said that before whatever but
one ever said that before whatever but never really said that and I said I
never really said that and I said I
never really said that and I said I think you did Mike and it’s okay you can
think you did Mike and it’s okay you can
think you did Mike and it’s okay you can tell me no I never said that once before
tell me no I never said that once before
tell me no I never said that once before I noticed an invitation there’s
I noticed an invitation there’s
I noticed an invitation there’s something triggered in me it’s called my
something triggered in me it’s called my
something triggered in me it’s called my ego right I was being lied to right and
ego right I was being lied to right and
ego right I was being lied to right and so I could respond from that place and
so I could respond from that place and
so I could respond from that place and what kind of consequence could I set
what kind of consequence could I set
what kind of consequence could I set there right
there right
there right maybe to have her eat lunch in the
maybe to have her eat lunch in the
maybe to have her eat lunch in the office for the rest of the week for
office for the rest of the week for
office for the rest of the week for lying to me
lying to me
lying to me she shouldn’t be lying to me I’m her
she shouldn’t be lying to me I’m her
she shouldn’t be lying to me I’m her teacher luckily I didn’t respond to that
teacher luckily I didn’t respond to that
teacher luckily I didn’t respond to that invitation in fact I politely declined
invitation in fact I politely declined
invitation in fact I politely declined it their invitation I did respond to was
it their invitation I did respond to was
it their invitation I did respond to was one for connection so when she when she
one for connection so when she when she
one for connection so when she when she said to me know I’ve never said that
said to me know I’ve never said that
said to me know I’ve never said that before in my life I said I know it’s so
before in my life I said I know it’s so
before in my life I said I know it’s so hard right now to do it but if you can
hard right now to do it but if you can
hard right now to do it but if you can look at me I’m asking you to do it I
look at me I’m asking you to do it I
look at me I’m asking you to do it I said you are so safe with me and I hope
said you are so safe with me and I hope
said you are so safe with me and I hope that you can feel that I said I don’t
that you can feel that I said I don’t
that you can feel that I said I don’t even care about the truth of what
even care about the truth of what
even care about the truth of what happened there what I care about is you
happened there what I care about is you
happened there what I care about is you what I care about is this a relationship
what I care about is this a relationship
what I care about is this a relationship that we share and what I know is that
that we share and what I know is that
that we share and what I know is that this relationship will feel satisfying
this relationship will feel satisfying
this relationship will feel satisfying to us if we can be honest with one
to us if we can be honest with one
to us if we can be honest with one another that’s the only reason I ask
another that’s the only reason I ask
another that’s the only reason I ask what I think the honest truth is about
what I think the honest truth is about
what I think the honest truth is about what happened here is that you save that
what happened here is that you save that
what happened here is that you save that seat for that little girl and you wanted
seat for that little girl and you wanted
seat for that little girl and you wanted her to sit beside you so badly and when
her to sit beside you so badly and when
her to sit beside you so badly and when she didn’t and when she said she didn’t
she didn’t and when she said she didn’t
she didn’t and when she said she didn’t want to sit by the length of you and
want to sit by the length of you and
want to sit by the length of you and everybody laughed I think it hurts your
everybody laughed I think it hurts your
everybody laughed I think it hurts your feelings no I didn’t hurt my feelings
feelings no I didn’t hurt my feelings
feelings no I didn’t hurt my feelings she said it didn’t hurt my feelings
she said it didn’t hurt my feelings
she said it didn’t hurt my feelings and I and I said do those girls
and I and I said do those girls
and I and I said do those girls sometimes hurt people’s feelings well
sometimes hurt people’s feelings well
sometimes hurt people’s feelings well sometimes I guess they hurt people’s
sometimes I guess they hurt people’s
sometimes I guess they hurt people’s feelings I said I think you’re right and
feelings I said I think you’re right and
feelings I said I think you’re right and I think those girls hurt your feelings
I think those girls hurt your feelings
I think those girls hurt your feelings today they hurt my feelings right and so
today they hurt my feelings right and so
today they hurt my feelings right and so she burst into tears right and she falls
she burst into tears right and she falls
she burst into tears right and she falls apart right there puts her head down and
apart right there puts her head down and
apart right there puts her head down and she soft and I let her sob right there
she soft and I let her sob right there
she soft and I let her sob right there was a great pain and she yes she added
was a great pain and she yes she added
was a great pain and she yes she added she said they hurt my feelings I’m sick
she said they hurt my feelings I’m sick
she said they hurt my feelings I’m sick and tired of dealing with this I’ve
and tired of dealing with this I’ve
and tired of dealing with this I’ve dealt with this since first grade I have
dealt with this since first grade I have
dealt with this since first grade I have no friends right and so she sobbed and
no friends right and so she sobbed and
no friends right and so she sobbed and sobbed and I said in presence with her
sobbed and I said in presence with her
sobbed and I said in presence with her and let her purge with the big pain that
and let her purge with the big pain that
and let her purge with the big pain that she’s been carrying around for those
she’s been carrying around for those
she’s been carrying around for those last five years and then when there was
last five years and then when there was
last five years and then when there was a greater availability having released
a greater availability having released
a greater availability having released some of that we had discussions about
some of that we had discussions about
some of that we had discussions about what might than me what might her needs
what might than me what might her needs
what might than me what might her needs and feelings be around that experience
and feelings be around that experience
and feelings be around that experience we even guessed at what the needs and
we even guessed at what the needs and
we even guessed at what the needs and feelings would be with the other
feelings would be with the other
feelings would be with the other students in that experience and so
students in that experience and so
students in that experience and so through that we were able to arrive at a
through that we were able to arrive at a
through that we were able to arrive at a greater place of compassion and a
greater place of compassion and a
greater place of compassion and a different way to respond when those
different way to respond when those
different way to respond when those feelings arise in us that was done
feelings arise in us that was done
feelings arise in us that was done through something that I’ve also learned
through something that I’ve also learned
through something that I’ve also learned with the kids is trying to create safety
with the kids is trying to create safety
with the kids is trying to create safety in every moment safety and how they
in every moment safety and how they
in every moment safety and how they safety and how I respond to them one way
safety and how I respond to them one way
safety and how I respond to them one way I’ll do that is I’ll listen to myself as
I’ll do that is I’ll listen to myself as
I’ll do that is I’ll listen to myself as I speak to them because what I have
I speak to them because what I have
I speak to them because what I have noticed is that almost everything I’m
noticed is that almost everything I’m
noticed is that almost everything I’m saying to them largely it’s for me but
saying to them largely it’s for me but
saying to them largely it’s for me but to there’s some conditioning there that
to there’s some conditioning there that
to there’s some conditioning there that I want to be very conscious of so when
I want to be very conscious of so when
I want to be very conscious of so when I’m responding to a certain behavior or
I’m responding to a certain behavior or
I’m responding to a certain behavior or something that something that they’ve
something that something that they’ve
something that something that they’ve said to me I want to be conscious of how
said to me I want to be conscious of how
said to me I want to be conscious of how I respond to them and make sure it’s my
I respond to them and make sure it’s my
I respond to them and make sure it’s my clean and clear voice that they’re
clean and clear voice that they’re
clean and clear voice that they’re hearing so when I respond in a way I
hearing so when I respond in a way I
hearing so when I respond in a way I will pause and see who is speaking here
will pause and see who is speaking here
will pause and see who is speaking here when I was spoken to in that I felt how
when I was spoken to in that I felt how
when I was spoken to in that I felt how do I feel right how what did it create
do I feel right how what did it create
do I feel right how what did it create when I was spoken to in this way and
when I was spoken to in this way and
when I was spoken to in this way and what is the what did it do for our
what is the what did it do for our
what is the what did it do for our relationship or what did it not do and
relationship or what did it not do and
relationship or what did it not do and so I want to be very conscious about
so I want to be very conscious about
so I want to be very conscious about what the students and I can’t do that
what the students and I can’t do that
what the students and I can’t do that always in the moment right but what will
always in the moment right but what will
always in the moment right but what will create the time for that there’s a big
create the time for that there’s a big
create the time for that there’s a big issue of time in our schools there’s a
issue of time in our schools there’s a
issue of time in our schools there’s a lot of talk about there’s not time for
lot of talk about there’s not time for
lot of talk about there’s not time for these things I’m telling you there is
these things I’m telling you there is
these things I’m telling you there is absolutely the need for time that has to
absolutely the need for time that has to
absolutely the need for time that has to be created
be created
be created it will save so much time what I have
it will save so much time what I have
it will save so much time what I have found is that doing things like this
found is that doing things like this
found is that doing things like this will
will
will reduce the duration of outburst of
reduce the duration of outburst of
reduce the duration of outburst of tantrum like behavior of shutdowns the
tantrum like behavior of shutdowns the
tantrum like behavior of shutdowns the things of this nature there is time for
things of this nature there is time for
things of this nature there is time for it there was a student in our school
it there was a student in our school
it there was a student in our school been there two weeks two weeks before
been there two weeks two weeks before
been there two weeks two weeks before and then what I did not know him but
and then what I did not know him but
and then what I did not know him but somebody came and said he is he’s
somebody came and said he is he’s
somebody came and said he is he’s misbehaving he’s throwing everything
misbehaving he’s throwing everything
misbehaving he’s throwing everything he’s not he’s not doing his work right
he’s not he’s not doing his work right
he’s not he’s not doing his work right two weeks the child had been there and
two weeks the child had been there and
two weeks the child had been there and so talked to him and then when I found
so talked to him and then when I found
so talked to him and then when I found out in that short talk with him is right
out in that short talk with him is right
out in that short talk with him is right before school he had just been adopted
before school he had just been adopted
before school he had just been adopted by put into foster care taken from his
by put into foster care taken from his
by put into foster care taken from his mother put into foster care with another
mother put into foster care with another
mother put into foster care with another family a new family and started a new
family a new family and started a new
family a new family and started a new school where he knew no one what did we
school where he knew no one what did we
school where he knew no one what did we expect what happened there except for
expect what happened there except for
expect what happened there except for misbehavior right without the language
misbehavior right without the language
misbehavior right without the language to communicate how deeply traumatic that
to communicate how deeply traumatic that
to communicate how deeply traumatic that is and so through that interaction I
is and so through that interaction I
is and so through that interaction I tuned in to the feeling there that I
tuned in to the feeling there that I
tuned in to the feeling there that I recognized in him and the need that he
recognized in him and the need that he
recognized in him and the need that he caused are able to quite express and so
caused are able to quite express and so
caused are able to quite express and so I sat with him and I said you know I
I sat with him and I said you know I
I sat with him and I said you know I opened my classroom sometimes at lunch
opened my classroom sometimes at lunch
opened my classroom sometimes at lunch if you’ve got if there’s somebody you
if you’ve got if there’s somebody you
if you’ve got if there’s somebody you think you might want to make a friend
think you might want to make a friend
think you might want to make a friend here why don’t you invite them in and we
here why don’t you invite them in and we
here why don’t you invite them in and we can have a lunch with him and they can
can have a lunch with him and they can
can have a lunch with him and they can you know be in our space and I’ll show
you know be in our space and I’ll show
you know be in our space and I’ll show you all the things we do in there and so
you all the things we do in there and so
you all the things we do in there and so he’s done that and so this little boy
he’s done that and so this little boy
he’s done that and so this little boy though who was it was not a behavior
though who was it was not a behavior
though who was it was not a behavior problem this little boy through this
problem this little boy through this
problem this little boy through this interaction was able to then get his
interaction was able to then get his
interaction was able to then get his work done keep his head up write respond
work done keep his head up write respond
work done keep his head up write respond make friends
make friends
make friends he’s a vibrant little being who runs
he’s a vibrant little being who runs
he’s a vibrant little being who runs around our school and that interaction
around our school and that interaction
around our school and that interaction when I talk about time two weeks of
when I talk about time two weeks of
when I talk about time two weeks of instruction was missed I had a
instruction was missed I had a
instruction was missed I had a conversation with him for about 15
conversation with him for about 15
conversation with him for about 15 minutes to find out what was going on
minutes to find out what was going on
minutes to find out what was going on and then we came up with something that
and then we came up with something that
and then we came up with something that could make him feel safe so safety in
could make him feel safe so safety in
could make him feel safe so safety in every moment is what we’re going after
every moment is what we’re going after
every moment is what we’re going after there when we approach when we encounter
there when we approach when we encounter
there when we approach when we encounter resistance there’s something there to be
resistance there’s something there to be
resistance there’s something there to be had into the you to be felt to be seen
had into the you to be felt to be seen
had into the you to be felt to be seen to be understood I approach resistance I
to be understood I approach resistance I
to be understood I approach resistance I try to listen for that invitation to
try to listen for that invitation to
try to listen for that invitation to raise curiosity and creativity when
raise curiosity and creativity when
raise curiosity and creativity when resistance comes up so for example in a
resistance comes up so for example in a
resistance comes up so for example in a mindfulness lesson with my student
mindfulness lesson with my student
mindfulness lesson with my student whenever he says you know this is stupid
whenever he says you know this is stupid
whenever he says you know this is stupid and I’m not doing it right the
and I’m not doing it right the
and I’m not doing it right the resistance was there
resistance was there
resistance was there I could either said I put you know a
I could either said I put you know a
I could either said I put you know a consequence for him have him removed or
consequence for him have him removed or
consequence for him have him removed or something
something
something what I wanted to do what I did is
what I wanted to do what I did is
what I wanted to do what I did is responded with curiosity and creativity
responded with curiosity and creativity
responded with curiosity and creativity because what I have learned in my own
because what I have learned in my own
because what I have learned in my own life is that I am often most resistant
life is that I am often most resistant
life is that I am often most resistant to the one thing that I need the most
to the one thing that I need the most
to the one thing that I need the most right so the one thing that might help
right so the one thing that might help
right so the one thing that might help me the most this kid who was talking
me the most this kid who was talking
me the most this kid who was talking about this just happened to be my most
about this just happened to be my most
about this just happened to be my most impulsive kid who was kicked out of his
impulsive kid who was kicked out of his
impulsive kid who was kicked out of his regular ed classes often and so we got
regular ed classes often and so we got
regular ed classes often and so we got creative and we started and I said
creative and we started and I said
creative and we started and I said because he lived for recess loved it and
because he lived for recess loved it and
because he lived for recess loved it and so I said hey buddy has like how about
so I said hey buddy has like how about
so I said hey buddy has like how about you and I 30 seconds 30 seconds closed
you and I 30 seconds 30 seconds closed
you and I 30 seconds 30 seconds closed eye meditation extra minute of recess
eye meditation extra minute of recess
eye meditation extra minute of recess deal yeah yeah okay so so so we did that
deal yeah yeah okay so so so we did that
deal yeah yeah okay so so so we did that and then we ended up going back to five
and then we ended up going back to five
and then we ended up going back to five seconds to ten seconds to 20 seconds
seconds to ten seconds to 20 seconds
seconds to ten seconds to 20 seconds right and he said I feel like I’m
right and he said I feel like I’m
right and he said I feel like I’m crawling out of my body and when he did
crawling out of my body and when he did
crawling out of my body and when he did we explored that right with curiosity
we explored that right with curiosity
we explored that right with curiosity where in your body do you feel that what
where in your body do you feel that what
where in your body do you feel that what does it feel like can you begin to name
does it feel like can you begin to name
does it feel like can you begin to name it and as he began to watch it he began
it and as he began to watch it he began
it and as he began to watch it he began to grow up his capacity to be with
to grow up his capacity to be with
to grow up his capacity to be with himself right he began to grow up his
himself right he began to grow up his
himself right he began to grow up his capacity to to notice the invitations of
capacity to to notice the invitations of
capacity to to notice the invitations of his own that were coming up that he was
his own that were coming up that he was
his own that were coming up that he was so often just blazing through and
so often just blazing through and
so often just blazing through and reacting to through impulsive behavior
reacting to through impulsive behavior
reacting to through impulsive behavior what happened with him is he was able to
what happened with him is he was able to
what happened with him is he was able to return to his regular classroom
return to his regular classroom
return to his regular classroom participate more for longer durations of
participate more for longer durations of
participate more for longer durations of time in in the classroom with his peers
time in in the classroom with his peers
time in in the classroom with his peers and have a greater education through
and have a greater education through
and have a greater education through that constructing identities is
that constructing identities is
that constructing identities is something I want to strongly encourage
something I want to strongly encourage
something I want to strongly encourage and whatever capacity we work with
and whatever capacity we work with
and whatever capacity we work with anybody or in relationship to anybody
anybody or in relationship to anybody
anybody or in relationship to anybody our children are building their
our children are building their
our children are building their identities right before our eyes they’re
identities right before our eyes they’re
identities right before our eyes they’re building their identities and they’re
building their identities and they’re
building their identities and they’re building their memories and we get to
building their memories and we get to
building their memories and we get to participate in that think about that
participate in that think about that
participate in that think about that that is a precious gift that it’s been
that is a precious gift that it’s been
that is a precious gift that it’s been bestowed on us to participate in someone
bestowed on us to participate in someone
bestowed on us to participate in someone memories there’s a grand responsibility
memories there’s a grand responsibility
memories there’s a grand responsibility and so when I’m with them I watched the
and so when I’m with them I watched the
and so when I’m with them I watched the their build their little identities
their build their little identities
their build their little identities right and mostly I just take joy in it
right and mostly I just take joy in it
right and mostly I just take joy in it but I do make it take to make a special
but I do make it take to make a special
but I do make it take to make a special effort to interrupt identities that
effort to interrupt identities that
effort to interrupt identities that don’t support their wholeness if I see a
don’t support their wholeness if I see a
don’t support their wholeness if I see a kid in a process I’ll sit with them all
kid in a process I’ll sit with them all
kid in a process I’ll sit with them all day right well we can get through the
day right well we can get through the
day right well we can get through the process if I watch you in a pattern
process if I watch you in a pattern
process if I watch you in a pattern patience is going to wear right I’m not
patience is going to wear right I’m not
patience is going to wear right I’m not going to sit for that for very low right
going to sit for that for very low right
going to sit for that for very low right so we’re going to interrupt some
so we’re going to interrupt some
so we’re going to interrupt some patterns there and
patterns there and
patterns there and and this was from something that I
and this was from something that I
and this was from something that I needed in my own childhood there’s this
needed in my own childhood there’s this
needed in my own childhood there’s this picture here of a school I’ve marked
picture here of a school I’ve marked
picture here of a school I’ve marked safe danger danger
safe danger danger
safe danger danger as a child about being a queer kid and
as a child about being a queer kid and
as a child about being a queer kid and at a conservative school recess was
at a conservative school recess was
at a conservative school recess was terrifying so I stood right here where I
terrifying so I stood right here where I
terrifying so I stood right here where I could see where everybody was no one
could see where everybody was no one
could see where everybody was no one could hurt me that way right because I
could hurt me that way right because I
could hurt me that way right because I could run if they came towards me but
could run if they came towards me but
could run if they came towards me but somebody did come towards me an item
somebody did come towards me an item
somebody did come towards me an item missed it I still don’t how I missed it
missed it I still don’t how I missed it
missed it I still don’t how I missed it came towards me and ran at me and hit me
came towards me and ran at me and hit me
came towards me and ran at me and hit me so hard on my arm I thought it had broke
so hard on my arm I thought it had broke
so hard on my arm I thought it had broke and I’ve never been punched that way
and I’ve never been punched that way
and I’ve never been punched that way right and so he he punched me and I I
right and so he he punched me and I I
right and so he he punched me and I I gasped and I but I couldn’t say I had to
gasped and I but I couldn’t say I had to
gasped and I but I couldn’t say I had to say face right I couldn’t respond is
say face right I couldn’t respond is
say face right I couldn’t respond is that the way my body was asking for the
that the way my body was asking for the
that the way my body was asking for the response to the response my body was
response to the response my body was
response to the response my body was requesting right and so I tried to laugh
requesting right and so I tried to laugh
requesting right and so I tried to laugh it off inside now right and so and I did
it off inside now right and so and I did
it off inside now right and so and I did right and so when I went back into class
right and so when I went back into class
right and so when I went back into class I had a test coming up next and so when
I had a test coming up next and so when
I had a test coming up next and so when I sat down to take that test I who had
I sat down to take that test I who had
I sat down to take that test I who had always been a pretty good student very
always been a pretty good student very
always been a pretty good student very kind in school groep this across my test
kind in school groep this across my test
kind in school groep this across my test and flipped to the desk right so who I
and flipped to the desk right so who I
and flipped to the desk right so who I was right or it was that with who I was
was right or it was that with who I was
was right or it was that with who I was er I was responding to something that
er I was responding to something that
er I was responding to something that had happened her and without the ability
had happened her and without the ability
had happened her and without the ability to express those feelings I built
to express those feelings I built
to express those feelings I built something an identity that day I
something an identity that day I
something an identity that day I swallowed something that day and I watch
swallowed something that day and I watch
swallowed something that day and I watch for my children to make sure that they
for my children to make sure that they
for my children to make sure that they don’t swallow the same type of things
don’t swallow the same type of things
don’t swallow the same type of things there’s a great lie of our time that we
there’s a great lie of our time that we
there’s a great lie of our time that we are unworthy that there is the we are
are unworthy that there is the we are
are unworthy that there is the we are not enough it is the great poison of our
not enough it is the great poison of our
not enough it is the great poison of our time and we’re invited to drink it all
time and we’re invited to drink it all
time and we’re invited to drink it all the time in that moment I drank it and
the time in that moment I drank it and
the time in that moment I drank it and it took me years to impac it still
it took me years to impac it still
it took me years to impac it still working on it to be injured to be
working on it to be injured to be
working on it to be injured to be truthful in that moment I swallowed a
truthful in that moment I swallowed a
truthful in that moment I swallowed a belief that I was not worthy of being
belief that I was not worthy of being
belief that I was not worthy of being safe that there was something wrong with
safe that there was something wrong with
safe that there was something wrong with me that they were right me playing with
me that they were right me playing with
me that they were right me playing with dolls and being effeminate like it was
dolls and being effeminate like it was
dolls and being effeminate like it was absolutely not okay
absolutely not okay
absolutely not okay and I was not worthy of safety right it
and I was not worthy of safety right it
and I was not worthy of safety right it took so I watched that with my students
took so I watched that with my students
took so I watched that with my students I want to be very conscious about the
I want to be very conscious about the
I want to be very conscious about the identities they built when one of my
identities they built when one of my
identities they built when one of my students came back with his behavior log
students came back with his behavior log
students came back with his behavior log from being in his class and it said that
from being in his class and it said that
from being in his class and it said that he had said something on there he was a
he had said something on there he was a
he had said something on there he was a good-hearted wonderful kid and he came
good-hearted wonderful kid and he came
good-hearted wonderful kid and he came in and what they had written that he had
in and what they had written that he had
in and what they had written that he had said was so
said was so
said was so vulgar I won’t repeat it but it took my
vulgar I won’t repeat it but it took my
vulgar I won’t repeat it but it took my I just didn’t I’ve never heard anything
I just didn’t I’ve never heard anything
I just didn’t I’ve never heard anything like that from him so I like I’m like a
like that from him so I like I’m like a
like that from him so I like I’m like a buddy come in can’t be that bad let me
buddy come in can’t be that bad let me
buddy come in can’t be that bad let me see what is it so he hands me his point
see what is it so he hands me his point
see what is it so he hands me his point sheet right hands up to me and I look
sheet right hands up to me and I look
sheet right hands up to me and I look and I didn’t mean to shame him I’ll tell
and I didn’t mean to shame him I’ll tell
and I didn’t mean to shame him I’ll tell you right now as I’m standing here it
you right now as I’m standing here it
you right now as I’m standing here it just kind of caught me off guard and so
just kind of caught me off guard and so
just kind of caught me off guard and so I know it’s not like you know he said no
I know it’s not like you know he said no
I know it’s not like you know he said no and I watched him dope and gulp and I
and I watched him dope and gulp and I
and I watched him dope and gulp and I said no i was like don’t you do that
said no i was like don’t you do that
said no i was like don’t you do that don’t you swallow that i was like that
don’t you swallow that i was like that
don’t you swallow that i was like that is that is poison don’t you swallow your
is that is poison don’t you swallow your
is that is poison don’t you swallow your spit it out i said honey this is
spit it out i said honey this is
spit it out i said honey this is something that you did it is not
something that you did it is not
something that you did it is not something that you are I know your heart
something that you are I know your heart
something that you are I know your heart right I know your heart this is
right I know your heart this is
right I know your heart this is something that you did it is not
something that you did it is not
something that you did it is not something that you are do not get this
something that you are do not get this
something that you are do not get this confused and we can learn from this you
confused and we can learn from this you
confused and we can learn from this you know and so we did I watched their
know and so we did I watched their
know and so we did I watched their identities I try to create opportunities
identities I try to create opportunities
identities I try to create opportunities for them to be celebrated to have people
for them to be celebrated to have people
for them to be celebrated to have people and their families celebrated and
and their families celebrated and
and their families celebrated and recognized we go around sharing those
recognized we go around sharing those
recognized we go around sharing those with students create special
with students create special
with students create special opportunities things that are important
opportunities things that are important
opportunities things that are important for him and I’ve got a video of him
for him and I’ve got a video of him
for him and I’ve got a video of him saying this is the best day of my life
saying this is the best day of my life
saying this is the best day of my life that’s what I love that’s a memory I
that’s what I love that’s a memory I
that’s what I love that’s a memory I love that we’re creating power of
love that we’re creating power of
love that we’re creating power of reflection I want my students to be able
reflection I want my students to be able
reflection I want my students to be able to reflect why one for the information
to reflect why one for the information
to reflect why one for the information it will provide them that they can tune
it will provide them that they can tune
it will provide them that they can tune in to the big power that they have
in to the big power that they have
in to the big power that they have that’s available to them at all times
that’s available to them at all times
that’s available to them at all times the power that we don’t talk about right
the power that we don’t talk about right
the power that we don’t talk about right no one told me in that moment or the
no one told me in that moment or the
no one told me in that moment or the when I was being bullied or something in
when I was being bullied or something in
when I was being bullied or something in school no one told me you have power
school no one told me you have power
school no one told me you have power that doesn’t that these people can’t
that doesn’t that these people can’t
that doesn’t that these people can’t touch right and so I want to make sure I
touch right and so I want to make sure I
touch right and so I want to make sure I do that with my students we do an
do that with my students we do an
do that with my students we do an activity called you probably didn’t know
activity called you probably didn’t know
activity called you probably didn’t know and so you probably didn’t know this
and so you probably didn’t know this
and so you probably didn’t know this activity we go through a guided
activity we go through a guided
activity we go through a guided meditation and what I am trying to get
meditation and what I am trying to get
meditation and what I am trying to get through this is I want them to honor
through this is I want them to honor
through this is I want them to honor that they have been seen but they don’t
that they have been seen but they don’t
that they have been seen but they don’t really have the language always to go
really have the language always to go
really have the language always to go through and talk about like if I say
through and talk about like if I say
through and talk about like if I say like tell me about time you’ve been seen
like tell me about time you’ve been seen
like tell me about time you’ve been seen it’s difficult at times for them and
it’s difficult at times for them and
it’s difficult at times for them and that’s a it’s a little bit too personal
that’s a it’s a little bit too personal
that’s a it’s a little bit too personal too vulnerable and so we go into
too vulnerable and so we go into
too vulnerable and so we go into meditation when we talk about and I say
meditation when we talk about and I say
meditation when we talk about and I say then you know imagine a time when you
then you know imagine a time when you
then you know imagine a time when you felt safe and loved or cared for or
felt safe and loved or cared for or
felt safe and loved or cared for or supported or just really excited and
supported or just really excited and
supported or just really excited and I’ll say let your mind go back a little
I’ll say let your mind go back a little
I’ll say let your mind go back a little bit and
bit and
bit and take a look to see who was involved in
take a look to see who was involved in
take a look to see who was involved in that experience with you and how did
that experience with you and how did
that experience with you and how did they contribute to the feelings that you
they contribute to the feelings that you
they contribute to the feelings that you had that day how are they using their
had that day how are they using their
had that day how are they using their energy in a way that contributed to that
energy in a way that contributed to that
energy in a way that contributed to that feeling and when they come out then we
feeling and when they come out then we
feeling and when they come out then we take a moment and we write down on a
take a moment and we write down on a
take a moment and we write down on a letter you probably didn’t know that
letter you probably didn’t know that
letter you probably didn’t know that when you blink
when you blink
when you blink I felt blank and so and then we try to
I felt blank and so and then we try to
I felt blank and so and then we try to thank you and we send that out here are
thank you and we send that out here are
thank you and we send that out here are some examples dear mr. G you probably
some examples dear mr. G you probably
some examples dear mr. G you probably didn’t know that when you taught me how
didn’t know that when you taught me how
didn’t know that when you taught me how to to do math it made me feel like I
to to do math it made me feel like I
to to do math it made me feel like I belong in this scary world and that gets
belong in this scary world and that gets
belong in this scary world and that gets me because I know the scary world that
me because I know the scary world that
me because I know the scary world that he was living in at the time and
he was living in at the time and
he was living in at the time and anything that can make him feel safe in
anything that can make him feel safe in
anything that can make him feel safe in a scary world I was very happy about
a scary world I was very happy about
a scary world I was very happy about this one right here tune into this part
this one right here tune into this part
this one right here tune into this part this is the this is a third grader they
this is the this is a third grader they
this is the this is a third grader they these children they have the ability to
these children they have the ability to
these children they have the ability to reflect and to learn from the reflection
reflect and to learn from the reflection
reflect and to learn from the reflection and I tell you they’re not given time in
and I tell you they’re not given time in
and I tell you they’re not given time in schools I’m in school every day they’re
schools I’m in school every day they’re
schools I’m in school every day they’re not invited to tune into their own
not invited to tune into their own
not invited to tune into their own information it is about teaching
information it is about teaching
information it is about teaching something and then saying it back maybe
something and then saying it back maybe
something and then saying it back maybe explore their own thinking through that
explore their own thinking through that
explore their own thinking through that particular subject but coming in and
particular subject but coming in and
particular subject but coming in and being invited to share something that
being invited to share something that
being invited to share something that they have learned along their journey if
they have learned along their journey if
they have learned along their journey if I can’t recognize when it happens if it
I can’t recognize when it happens if it
I can’t recognize when it happens if it is I love this part mr. Arnold you
is I love this part mr. Arnold you
is I love this part mr. Arnold you treated me better than I treated you I
treated me better than I treated you I
treated me better than I treated you I want to say I’m sorry for not giving you
want to say I’m sorry for not giving you
want to say I’m sorry for not giving you more respect I know you’ve always been
more respect I know you’ve always been
more respect I know you’ve always been there for me third grade child could
there for me third grade child could
there for me third grade child could reflect and do this I did not coach him
reflect and do this I did not coach him
reflect and do this I did not coach him I do not prompt them beyond thinking
I do not prompt them beyond thinking
I do not prompt them beyond thinking about a time no prompting didn’t have to
about a time no prompting didn’t have to
about a time no prompting didn’t have to be school I asked him to think about a
be school I asked him to think about a
be school I asked him to think about a time when he felt safe he said you
time when he felt safe he said you
time when he felt safe he said you probably didn’t know this but when you
probably didn’t know this but when you
probably didn’t know this but when you gave me those tree nuts when I was
gave me those tree nuts when I was
gave me those tree nuts when I was hungry that morning it made me feel like
hungry that morning it made me feel like
hungry that morning it made me feel like there was no other teacher like you you
there was no other teacher like you you
there was no other teacher like you you were like some super teacher those teeth
were like some super teacher those teeth
were like some super teacher those teeth yes most teachers someone who said sorry
yes most teachers someone who said sorry
yes most teachers someone who said sorry you’re hungry but you cared for my
you’re hungry but you cared for my
you’re hungry but you cared for my hunger and caring as a true superpower
hunger and caring as a true superpower
hunger and caring as a true superpower right when he sent this recognized that
right when he sent this recognized that
right when he sent this recognized that as an invitation for connection right
as an invitation for connection right
as an invitation for connection right this childhood give such grief to that
this childhood give such grief to that
this childhood give such grief to that teacher you know and resisting
teacher you know and resisting
teacher you know and resisting everything that she’s trying to teach
everything that she’s trying to teach
everything that she’s trying to teach him in that moment there was an
him in that moment there was an
him in that moment there was an invitation for connection and she met
invitation for connection and she met
invitation for connection and she met him there and their relationship began
him there and their relationship began
him there and their relationship began to improve and they were able to
to improve and they were able to
to improve and they were able to recognize when when they were seen okay
recognize when when they were seen okay
recognize when when they were seen okay and and so because you can’t do this
and and so because you can’t do this
and and so because you can’t do this activity
activity
activity without honoring that you’ve been seeing
without honoring that you’ve been seeing
without honoring that you’ve been seeing whether you consciously do it or not
whether you consciously do it or not
whether you consciously do it or not perhaps the most touching one for me I
perhaps the most touching one for me I
perhaps the most touching one for me I worked with the group of students and he
worked with the group of students and he
worked with the group of students and he one of the students very it was gang
one of the students very it was gang
one of the students very it was gang gang a really tough exterior right and
gang a really tough exterior right and
gang a really tough exterior right and his whole positioning was I don’t care I
his whole positioning was I don’t care I
his whole positioning was I don’t care I don’t give out anything or anybody right
don’t give out anything or anybody right
don’t give out anything or anybody right and so we did this activity when I did
and so we did this activity when I did
and so we did this activity when I did it all the kids in the in the middle
it all the kids in the in the middle
it all the kids in the in the middle school they had talked about in
school they had talked about in
school they had talked about in elementary school experience but over
elementary school experience but over
elementary school experience but over the problems they were having were in
the problems they were having were in
the problems they were having were in middle school said let’s go back in our
middle school said let’s go back in our
middle school said let’s go back in our memory let’s try to let’s do this
memory let’s try to let’s do this
memory let’s try to let’s do this through middle school experience and he
through middle school experience and he
through middle school experience and he was like no at that forget it
was like no at that forget it
was like no at that forget it there’s nobody nobody I don’t trust them
there’s nobody nobody I don’t trust them
there’s nobody nobody I don’t trust them I’m not doing it and I said what come on
I’m not doing it and I said what come on
I’m not doing it and I said what come on in two years you’ve been there no one’s
in two years you’ve been there no one’s
in two years you’ve been there no one’s shown you a moment kind of give me one
shown you a moment kind of give me one
shown you a moment kind of give me one just go in briefly and if it doesn’t
just go in briefly and if it doesn’t
just go in briefly and if it doesn’t work out we’ll come right back out and
work out we’ll come right back out and
work out we’ll come right back out and so before we could even finish the
so before we could even finish the
so before we could even finish the meditation he came out and he said I got
meditation he came out and he said I got
meditation he came out and he said I got it I got it he was like mr. Hagelin mr.
it I got it he was like mr. Hagelin mr.
it I got it he was like mr. Hagelin mr. Hagelin and he said mr. Hagman when the
Hagelin and he said mr. Hagman when the
Hagelin and he said mr. Hagman when the other teachers found out I was part of
other teachers found out I was part of
other teachers found out I was part of the gang I felt that they treated me
the gang I felt that they treated me
the gang I felt that they treated me brutally but you didn’t you treated me
brutally but you didn’t you treated me
brutally but you didn’t you treated me with kindness and respect you probably
with kindness and respect you probably
with kindness and respect you probably didn’t know that when you said if you
didn’t know that when you said if you
didn’t know that when you said if you need anything you can come to me that I
need anything you can come to me that I
need anything you can come to me that I believed you you probably didn’t know
believed you you probably didn’t know
believed you you probably didn’t know that I believed you let me tell you
that I believed you let me tell you
that I believed you let me tell you about this student after this will you
about this student after this will you
about this student after this will you give him all stationery and colorful
give him all stationery and colorful
give him all stationery and colorful sharpies and I hand them the box of
sharpies and I hand them the box of
sharpies and I hand them the box of sharpies to pick from and they and they
sharpies to pick from and they and they
sharpies to pick from and they and they write this letter to their to their
write this letter to their to their
write this letter to their to their teacher to their or whoever it is they
teacher to their or whoever it is they
teacher to their or whoever it is they pick this student who doesn’t care about
pick this student who doesn’t care about
pick this student who doesn’t care about anything as he says right when I came
anything as he says right when I came
anything as he says right when I came around with the sharpies he said to
around with the sharpies he said to
around with the sharpies he said to himself I wonder what his favorite color
himself I wonder what his favorite color
himself I wonder what his favorite color is right that’s huge
is right that’s huge
is right that’s huge it’s a testimony to when they’re held in
it’s a testimony to when they’re held in
it’s a testimony to when they’re held in safety when they’re held in love when
safety when they’re held in love when
safety when they’re held in love when each of us is held in safety and in love
each of us is held in safety and in love
each of us is held in safety and in love we care so much down to the color of the
we care so much down to the color of the
we care so much down to the color of the pen that we’re writing to the person you
pen that we’re writing to the person you
pen that we’re writing to the person you know that’s going to receive it and what
know that’s going to receive it and what
know that’s going to receive it and what their favorite color might be a top of
their favorite color might be a top of
their favorite color might be a top of my students about sharing their power
my students about sharing their power
my students about sharing their power about keeping their power we don’t talk
about keeping their power we don’t talk
about keeping their power we don’t talk about behavior in our room we talk about
about behavior in our room we talk about
about behavior in our room we talk about how we use our energy do we use our
how we use our energy do we use our
how we use our energy do we use our energy so in ways that serve us or
energy so in ways that serve us or
energy so in ways that serve us or anyone in ways that don’t service I
anyone in ways that don’t service I
anyone in ways that don’t service I don’t decide that for them they’re the
don’t decide that for them they’re the
don’t decide that for them they’re the ones that decide it and then we explore
ones that decide it and then we explore
ones that decide it and then we explore from there if we want to continue to
from there if we want to continue to
from there if we want to continue to create that experience or if
create that experience or if
create that experience or if an experience we want to change for
an experience we want to change for
an experience we want to change for ourselves and then we explore the ways
ourselves and then we explore the ways
ourselves and then we explore the ways to do that I encourage them keep your
to do that I encourage them keep your
to do that I encourage them keep your power share it share it but don’t give
power share it share it but don’t give
power share it share it but don’t give it away and watch for opportunities when
it away and watch for opportunities when
it away and watch for opportunities when you’re invited to I’m going to move
you’re invited to I’m going to move
you’re invited to I’m going to move through this to get us through right
through this to get us through right
through this to get us through right here one of my students haha ugly ah
here one of my students haha ugly ah
here one of my students haha ugly ah right here my power belongs to me right
right here my power belongs to me right
right here my power belongs to me right when touching her that day gifting what
when touching her that day gifting what
when touching her that day gifting what we needed what I encourage is for all of
we needed what I encourage is for all of
we needed what I encourage is for all of us through deep presence deep reflection
us through deep presence deep reflection
us through deep presence deep reflection to tune in and tune into our experience
to tune in and tune into our experience
to tune in and tune into our experience and gift and figure out what was it that
and gift and figure out what was it that
and gift and figure out what was it that we needed in a time that we felt safe
we needed in a time that we felt safe
we needed in a time that we felt safe and loved and supported what did we need
and loved and supported what did we need
and loved and supported what did we need and how it may be how may we begin to
and how it may be how may we begin to
and how it may be how may we begin to gift that to the people that were
gift that to the people that were
gift that to the people that were interacting with our students will
interacting with our students will
interacting with our students will benefit from that it will be healing for
benefit from that it will be healing for
benefit from that it will be healing for us I know from experience there was a
us I know from experience there was a
us I know from experience there was a teacher my in my life who at a time
teacher my in my life who at a time
teacher my in my life who at a time where I didn’t feel it was safe to be
where I didn’t feel it was safe to be
where I didn’t feel it was safe to be seen because when I was seen I was met
seen because when I was seen I was met
seen because when I was seen I was met with persecution I was spit on beaten in
with persecution I was spit on beaten in
with persecution I was spit on beaten in schools right in and it communicated to
schools right in and it communicated to
schools right in and it communicated to me it was not safe to be seen but there
me it was not safe to be seen but there
me it was not safe to be seen but there was one teacher who did something so
was one teacher who did something so
was one teacher who did something so simple all she did was ask me how are
simple all she did was ask me how are
simple all she did was ask me how are you but it wasn’t about her words it
you but it wasn’t about her words it
you but it wasn’t about her words it never is it was about the place from
never is it was about the place from
never is it was about the place from what she was operating is there the
what she was operating is there the
what she was operating is there the energy with which she was speaking to me
energy with which she was speaking to me
energy with which she was speaking to me I felt that right and even though I
I felt that right and even though I
I felt that right and even though I couldn’t receive it right then it stuck
couldn’t receive it right then it stuck
couldn’t receive it right then it stuck with me and what I interact with my
with me and what I interact with my
with me and what I interact with my students I make sure that I’m operating
students I make sure that I’m operating
students I make sure that I’m operating from that place that they will feel the
from that place that they will feel the
from that place that they will feel the energy with which I speak when I hear
energy with which I speak when I hear
energy with which I speak when I hear when I say to them you are precious and
when I say to them you are precious and
when I say to them you are precious and good
good
good I want that she felt deeply in them when
I want that she felt deeply in them when
I want that she felt deeply in them when I say to them like you’re safe with me
I say to them like you’re safe with me
I say to them like you’re safe with me it is safe to show up who and how you
it is safe to show up who and how you
it is safe to show up who and how you are right when I celebrate them I wanted
are right when I celebrate them I wanted
are right when I celebrate them I wanted that to be with the energy with that
that to be with the energy with that
that to be with the energy with that they can feel it’s a powerful way of
they can feel it’s a powerful way of
they can feel it’s a powerful way of being and it will have a positive impact
being and it will have a positive impact
being and it will have a positive impact on our students what might the effects
on our students what might the effects
on our students what might the effects of be I can tell you what they are what
of be I can tell you what they are what
of be I can tell you what they are what I’ve seen through data I’ve collected
I’ve seen through data I’ve collected
I’ve seen through data I’ve collected myself and in my classroom I’ve seen
myself and in my classroom I’ve seen
myself and in my classroom I’ve seen students improve their academic
students improve their academic
students improve their academic performance go from fourth grade not
performance go from fourth grade not
performance go from fourth grade not reading not knowing their letter sounds
reading not knowing their letter sounds
reading not knowing their letter sounds to sixth grade reading eighty-eight
to sixth grade reading eighty-eight
to sixth grade reading eighty-eight words for me that’s still below grade
words for me that’s still below grade
words for me that’s still below grade level but a huge jump from not knowing
level but a huge jump from not knowing
level but a huge jump from not knowing letter sounds at all I’ve seen improved
letter sounds at all I’ve seen improved
letter sounds at all I’ve seen improved student behavior to where they can go
student behavior to where they can go
student behavior to where they can go and return to their class
and return to their class
and return to their class shrooms improved attendance showing up
shrooms improved attendance showing up
shrooms improved attendance showing up more because they feel safer there and
more because they feel safer there and
more because they feel safer there and there’s a place for them to be increased
there’s a place for them to be increased
there’s a place for them to be increased time in their regular classrooms we have
time in their regular classrooms we have
time in their regular classrooms we have a behavior unit and and so increase
a behavior unit and and so increase
a behavior unit and and so increase times back there more meaningful
times back there more meaningful
times back there more meaningful relationships and their talents and
relationships and their talents and
relationships and their talents and gifts become more evident because it
gifts become more evident because it
gifts become more evident because it becomes a safe place for them to share
becomes a safe place for them to share
becomes a safe place for them to share them students showing up is what will
them students showing up is what will
them students showing up is what will happen showing up a ways that they
happen showing up a ways that they
happen showing up a ways that they didn’t know they could showing up in
didn’t know they could showing up in
didn’t know they could showing up in ways I didn’t know they could right
ways I didn’t know they could right
ways I didn’t know they could right what an exciting time that is to explore
what an exciting time that is to explore
what an exciting time that is to explore and expand and work together to create
and expand and work together to create
and expand and work together to create this possibility space of what is
this possibility space of what is
this possibility space of what is possible for me it’s a privilege we have
possible for me it’s a privilege we have
possible for me it’s a privilege we have as teachers and that’s a privilege I
as teachers and that’s a privilege I
as teachers and that’s a privilege I take very seriously navigating our own
take very seriously navigating our own
take very seriously navigating our own powerful journeys however you are
powerful journeys however you are
powerful journeys however you are reimagined learning and whatever city do
reimagined learning and whatever city do
reimagined learning and whatever city do I hope that we can be conscious of the
I hope that we can be conscious of the
I hope that we can be conscious of the memories we make with others through
memories we make with others through
memories we make with others through mindfulness and mindfulness
mindfulness and mindfulness
mindfulness and mindfulness there was a call for deep reflection and
there was a call for deep reflection and
there was a call for deep reflection and a call for presence and to tune into our
a call for presence and to tune into our
a call for presence and to tune into our own inner resources our students need
own inner resources our students need
own inner resources our students need that we need it that was my intention
that we need it that was my intention
that we need it that was my intention for us may we restore connection and
for us may we restore connection and
for us may we restore connection and remain connected to our wholeness
remain connected to our wholeness
remain connected to our wholeness through restorative practices instead of
through restorative practices instead of
through restorative practices instead of punishment may we get rid of that whole
punishment may we get rid of that whole
punishment may we get rid of that whole idea and let me Baili begin to work with
idea and let me Baili begin to work with
idea and let me Baili begin to work with restore restorative practices to repair
restore restorative practices to repair
restore restorative practices to repair relationships not only with anyone who
relationships not only with anyone who
relationships not only with anyone who may be hurt but with ourselves restore
may be hurt but with ourselves restore
may be hurt but with ourselves restore that connection to our wholeness and may
that connection to our wholeness and may
that connection to our wholeness and may our greatest measure of success ever be
our greatest measure of success ever be
our greatest measure of success ever be the amount of compassion that we’re able
the amount of compassion that we’re able
the amount of compassion that we’re able to offer ourselves and to others in any
to offer ourselves and to others in any
to offer ourselves and to others in any given moment
given moment
given moment those are my wishes for us today and I
those are my wishes for us today and I
those are my wishes for us today and I appreciate oh and one more that you
appreciate oh and one more that you
appreciate oh and one more that you always follow the credits all right
always follow the credits all right
always follow the credits all right thanks so much appreciate it
thanks so much appreciate it
thanks so much appreciate it you
”
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