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What to do when life stops working | Kendra Tanner | TEDxSwanseaWomen


so I thought we’d start off a little bit

so I thought we’d start off a little bit differently and just do something that I

differently and just do something that I

differently and just do something that I really use for myself to kind of help

really use for myself to kind of help

really use for myself to kind of help ground and so I’m gonna ask you to

ground and so I’m gonna ask you to

ground and so I’m gonna ask you to breathe with me and just close your eyes

breathe with me and just close your eyes

breathe with me and just close your eyes just get really comfortable in your seat

just get really comfortable in your seat

just get really comfortable in your seat really feel the back of the chair the

really feel the back of the chair the

really feel the back of the chair the bottom of the chair maybe even the floor

bottom of the chair maybe even the floor

bottom of the chair maybe even the floor and just rest in that and as you’re

and just rest in that and as you’re

and just rest in that and as you’re sitting there and breathing in taking a

sitting there and breathing in taking a

sitting there and breathing in taking a deep breath just want to remind you that

deep breath just want to remind you that

deep breath just want to remind you that your story matters and who you are

your story matters and who you are

your story matters and who you are matters and what you do matters and as

matters and what you do matters and as

matters and what you do matters and as you take one more deep breath and exhale

you take one more deep breath and exhale

you take one more deep breath and exhale out I’m gonna ask you to turn your lips

out I’m gonna ask you to turn your lips

out I’m gonna ask you to turn your lips upward and smile and open your eyes

upward and smile and open your eyes

upward and smile and open your eyes and here we are I actually have two more

and here we are I actually have two more

and here we are I actually have two more questions for you tonight and the first

questions for you tonight and the first

questions for you tonight and the first one is this have you ever woken up oh

one is this have you ever woken up oh

one is this have you ever woken up oh yes

yes

yes and you looked at your life and you just

and you looked at your life and you just

and you looked at your life and you just thought oh my god how the hell did I

thought oh my god how the hell did I

thought oh my god how the hell did I find myself here here when I really want

find myself here here when I really want

find myself here here when I really want to be there and the gap the gap between

to be there and the gap the gap between

to be there and the gap the gap between here and there feel this big you feel

here and there feel this big you feel

here and there feel this big you feel this big and all this is going through

this big and all this is going through

this big and all this is going through your head how did I get here how do I

your head how did I get here how do I

your head how did I get here how do I get there

get there

get there oops I did it again and the worst one

oops I did it again and the worst one

oops I did it again and the worst one what is everyone gonna think of me if

what is everyone gonna think of me if

what is everyone gonna think of me if they found out I see some head nods and

they found out I see some head nods and

they found out I see some head nods and we heard some stories that confirm at

we heard some stories that confirm at

we heard some stories that confirm at least I’m not the only one who’s been

least I’m not the only one who’s been

least I’m not the only one who’s been there and if you’ve been there if you

there and if you’ve been there if you

there and if you’ve been there if you are there don’t worry you aren’t the

are there don’t worry you aren’t the

are there don’t worry you aren’t the only one because I’ve been there and

only one because I’ve been there and

only one because I’ve been there and I’ve been there twice the first time was

I’ve been there twice the first time was

I’ve been there twice the first time was about 15 years ago I was living in

about 15 years ago I was living in

about 15 years ago I was living in Manhattan I had an apartment on the

Manhattan I had an apartment on the

Manhattan I had an apartment on the Upper East Side and my life basically

Upper East Side and my life basically

Upper East Side and my life basically revolves around Tuesday

revolves around Tuesday

revolves around Tuesday going to work and working out I would

going to work and working out I would

going to work and working out I would leave the office I would go for a run

leave the office I would go for a run

leave the office I would go for a run around Central Park and then I’d go to

around Central Park and then I’d go to

around Central Park and then I’d go to the gym and this was also very very vain

the gym and this was also very very vain

the gym and this was also very very vain reasons to make sure that my arms looked

reasons to make sure that my arms looked

reasons to make sure that my arms looked just like Madonna’s and to make sure

just like Madonna’s and to make sure

just like Madonna’s and to make sure there was no longer any confusion

there was no longer any confusion

there was no longer any confusion between the back of my thighs and a bowl

between the back of my thighs and a bowl

between the back of my thighs and a bowl of cottage cheese I would leave the gym

of cottage cheese I would leave the gym

of cottage cheese I would leave the gym pick up some food on my way home and on

pick up some food on my way home and on

pick up some food on my way home and on the days where I thought you know what

the days where I thought you know what

the days where I thought you know what Kendra you had a good day today you know

Kendra you had a good day today you know

Kendra you had a good day today you know you deserve something nice get yourself

you deserve something nice get yourself

you deserve something nice get yourself something nice I would stop at this one

something nice I would stop at this one

something nice I would stop at this one store that had these cookies it looked

store that had these cookies it looked

store that had these cookies it looked amazing you’re those big american-style

amazing you’re those big american-style

amazing you’re those big american-style cookies are like this big they’re like

cookies are like this big they’re like

cookies are like this big they’re like this big and they have those little

this big and they have those little

this big and they have those little cracks on top of him and those cracks

cracks on top of him and those cracks

cracks on top of him and those cracks are telling you I’m gonna be moist and

are telling you I’m gonna be moist and

are telling you I’m gonna be moist and gooey and warm inside you’re like yeah

gooey and warm inside you’re like yeah

gooey and warm inside you’re like yeah except these they were calorie free and

except these they were calorie free and

except these they were calorie free and so the reality is they tasted like a

so the reality is they tasted like a

so the reality is they tasted like a complete ass but I’d buy them anyway

complete ass but I’d buy them anyway

complete ass but I’d buy them anyway thinking oh maybe tonight I’ll taste a

thinking oh maybe tonight I’ll taste a

thinking oh maybe tonight I’ll taste a little bit better and I’d walk to my

little bit better and I’d walk to my

little bit better and I’d walk to my apartment building and as I started

apartment building and as I started

apartment building and as I started walking up the steps was flight flight

walking up the steps was flight flight

walking up the steps was flight flight of steps I would secretly be beating

of steps I would secretly be beating

of steps I would secretly be beating myself up that you know Kendra you live

myself up that you know Kendra you live

myself up that you know Kendra you live here and this you know kind of dinky

here and this you know kind of dinky

here and this you know kind of dinky little apartment building not there in

little apartment building not there in

little apartment building not there in those nice doorman swanky buildings with

those nice doorman swanky buildings with

those nice doorman swanky buildings with the elevator but then I would tell

the elevator but then I would tell

the elevator but then I would tell myself you know just be grateful because

myself you know just be grateful because

myself you know just be grateful because at least with each stuff you have to

at least with each stuff you have to

at least with each stuff you have to take your ask it’s a little bit tighter

so I would walk into my apartment make

so I would walk into my apartment make myself some food and then I would wait

myself some food and then I would wait

myself some food and then I would wait for my roommate to go to bed and I would

for my roommate to go to bed and I would

for my roommate to go to bed and I would walk back into the kitchen because my

walk back into the kitchen because my

walk back into the kitchen because my dinner never actually really filled me

dinner never actually really filled me

dinner never actually really filled me up and I would then eat those cookies

up and I would then eat those cookies

up and I would then eat those cookies all five of them at once

all five of them at once

all five of them at once because that never really kept me free

because that never really kept me free

because that never really kept me free either full either I would then look

either full either I would then look

either full either I would then look around the kitchen for whatever other

around the kitchen for whatever other

around the kitchen for whatever other food I could find it didn’t matter how

food I could find it didn’t matter how

food I could find it didn’t matter how old it was how stale it was or if it was

old it was how stale it was or if it was

old it was how stale it was or if it was even mine I would eat it and at that

even mine I would eat it and at that

even mine I would eat it and at that point I would then finally feel full

point I would then finally feel full

point I would then finally feel full painfully full and because the real pain

painfully full and because the real pain

painfully full and because the real pain wasn’t so much what was in my stomach

wasn’t so much what was in my stomach

wasn’t so much what was in my stomach but the idea that tomorrow I have to

but the idea that tomorrow I have to

but the idea that tomorrow I have to face the world with all those gross Mis

face the world with all those gross Mis

face the world with all those gross Mis inside of me I would then go to the

inside of me I would then go to the

inside of me I would then go to the bathroom and I would make myself sick

bathroom and I would make myself sick

bathroom and I would make myself sick and I would vomit until everything was

and I would vomit until everything was

and I would vomit until everything was out of me I had what you might call a

out of me I had what you might call a

out of me I had what you might call a problem called bulimia and for the thing

problem called bulimia and for the thing

problem called bulimia and for the thing is I had this problem for a few years

is I had this problem for a few years

is I had this problem for a few years before I actually woke up to it and

before I actually woke up to it and

before I actually woke up to it and admitted to myself you see because I was

admitted to myself you see because I was

admitted to myself you see because I was the good kid I never got in trouble I

the good kid I never got in trouble I

the good kid I never got in trouble I didn’t do mess don’t do failure yet here

didn’t do mess don’t do failure yet here

didn’t do mess don’t do failure yet here I was with all of that right in front of

I was with all of that right in front of

I was with all of that right in front of me and so when I finally admitted to

me and so when I finally admitted to

me and so when I finally admitted to myself that this was a problem I did

myself that this was a problem I did

myself that this was a problem I did what I knew how to do best fix it fight

what I knew how to do best fix it fight

what I knew how to do best fix it fight it get rid of it as quickly as possible

it get rid of it as quickly as possible

it get rid of it as quickly as possible and my solution for that was actually

and my solution for that was actually

and my solution for that was actually really simple it was if I don’t throw up

really simple it was if I don’t throw up

really simple it was if I don’t throw up then I don’t I’m not bulimic so I just

then I don’t I’m not bulimic so I just

then I don’t I’m not bulimic so I just made sure I didn’t throw up and that

made sure I didn’t throw up and that

made sure I didn’t throw up and that worked until it didn’t and then I was

worked until it didn’t and then I was

worked until it didn’t and then I was here again with my head over the toilet

here again with my head over the toilet

here again with my head over the toilet and it was at that point I really had to

and it was at that point I really had to

and it was at that point I really had to ask myself okay what’s going on here and

ask myself okay what’s going on here and

ask myself okay what’s going on here and I had to get curious and look beneath

I had to get curious and look beneath

I had to get curious and look beneath the surface a little bit and when I did

the surface a little bit and when I did

the surface a little bit and when I did that what I found was this was actually

that what I found was this was actually

that what I found was this was actually a gift

a gift

a gift it was actually an invitation to

it was actually an invitation to

it was actually an invitation to something better than being in this

something better than being in this

something better than being in this fight with myself and with my food that

fight with myself and with my food that

fight with myself and with my food that there was actually the possibility for

there was actually the possibility for

there was actually the possibility for me to be free but I didn’t have to worry

me to be free but I didn’t have to worry

me to be free but I didn’t have to worry about what I looked like I didn’t have

about what I looked like I didn’t have

about what I looked like I didn’t have to worry about my food I could just be

to worry about my food I could just be

to worry about my food I could just be free to make me eat what I want wear

free to make me eat what I want wear

free to make me eat what I want wear what I want do the work that I want and

what I want do the work that I want and

what I want do the work that I want and so I

so I

so I followed that and it was awesome and I

followed that and it was awesome and I

followed that and it was awesome and I was finally free of bulimia and I

was finally free of bulimia and I

was finally free of bulimia and I thought I was good to go and then then I

thought I was good to go and then then I

thought I was good to go and then then I found myself here again and this time

found myself here again and this time

found myself here again and this time not with food but a year ago I found

not with food but a year ago I found

not with food but a year ago I found myself walking into my local town hall

myself walking into my local town hall

myself walking into my local town hall with a stack of papers this thick

with a stack of papers this thick

with a stack of papers this thick applying for benefits for you benefits

applying for benefits for you benefits

applying for benefits for you benefits may not seem like a big deal for me it

may not seem like a big deal for me it

may not seem like a big deal for me it was the ultimate game over pull the plug

was the ultimate game over pull the plug

was the ultimate game over pull the plug failure not only was I the good kid I

failure not only was I the good kid I

failure not only was I the good kid I was a smart kid had straight A’s I

was a smart kid had straight A’s I

was a smart kid had straight A’s I graduated from an Ivy League college I

graduated from an Ivy League college I

graduated from an Ivy League college I had worked for a company that had a

had worked for a company that had a

had worked for a company that had a frickin book and a movie and a song and

frickin book and a movie and a song and

frickin book and a movie and a song and named after it everything I had done in

named after it everything I had done in

named after it everything I had done in my life was to set me up for success and

my life was to set me up for success and

my life was to set me up for success and there I was failing

there I was failing

there I was failing I am similar to the bulimia it didn’t

I am similar to the bulimia it didn’t

I am similar to the bulimia it didn’t come out of the blue I kept telling

come out of the blue I kept telling

come out of the blue I kept telling myself next month will be different next

myself next month will be different next

myself next month will be different next month will be different the true

month will be different the true

month will be different the true business is that my husband and I were

business is that my husband and I were

business is that my husband and I were trying to set up they weren’t

trying to set up they weren’t

trying to set up they weren’t financially sustaining us for a while

financially sustaining us for a while

financially sustaining us for a while but when I finally realized okay next

but when I finally realized okay next

but when I finally realized okay next month if pop is not gonna be different

month if pop is not gonna be different

month if pop is not gonna be different said okay but what do we do now and the

said okay but what do we do now and the

said okay but what do we do now and the thing is I knew don’t fight this because

thing is I knew don’t fight this because

thing is I knew don’t fight this because fighting didn’t work last time why would

fighting didn’t work last time why would

fighting didn’t work last time why would it this time and so what I chose to do

it this time and so what I chose to do

it this time and so what I chose to do instead what we chose to do was to try

instead what we chose to do was to try

instead what we chose to do was to try something different and actually

something different and actually

something different and actually practice what got me out of bulimia in a

practice what got me out of bulimia in a

practice what got me out of bulimia in a sustainable way and try it here and so

sustainable way and try it here and so

sustainable way and try it here and so part of what we practiced you see behind

part of what we practiced you see behind

part of what we practiced you see behind me in the screen but it started with

me in the screen but it started with

me in the screen but it started with this idea of it’s okay to let go but I

this idea of it’s okay to let go but I

this idea of it’s okay to let go but I had to ask myself okay well what am i

had to ask myself okay well what am i

had to ask myself okay well what am i holding on to and for bulimia it was

holding on to and for bulimia it was

holding on to and for bulimia it was this pair of size 4 jeans that I had

this pair of size 4 jeans that I had

this pair of size 4 jeans that I had that I thought off the day I fit in them

that I thought off the day I fit in them

that I thought off the day I fit in them I’m okay I’m fine well this time it was

I’m okay I’m fine well this time it was

I’m okay I’m fine well this time it was in the jeans but it was this idea that I

in the jeans but it was this idea that I

in the jeans but it was this idea that I had set out to create a successful

had set out to create a successful

had set out to create a successful coaching business and so I had to ask

coaching business and so I had to ask

coaching business and so I had to ask myself okay well how could I let go of

myself okay well how could I let go of

myself okay well how could I let go of that what if what if I’m not just a

that what if what if I’m not just a

that what if what if I’m not just a coach what if if I let go of being a

coach what if if I let go of being a

coach what if if I let go of being a coach what space

coach what space

coach what space that create in my life and what if I let

that create in my life and what if I let

that create in my life and what if I let go of a business idea what if what is on

go of a business idea what if what is on

go of a business idea what if what is on my heart’s desire to create for the

my heart’s desire to create for the

my heart’s desire to create for the world maybe it’s not a business maybe

world maybe it’s not a business maybe

world maybe it’s not a business maybe it’s a nonprofit or social enterprise or

it’s a nonprofit or social enterprise or

it’s a nonprofit or social enterprise or maybe it’s just a creative outlet for me

maybe it’s just a creative outlet for me

maybe it’s just a creative outlet for me and then I had to let go of this idea of

and then I had to let go of this idea of

and then I had to let go of this idea of success that perhaps success isn’t

success that perhaps success isn’t

success that perhaps success isn’t measurable maybe success is just showing

measurable maybe success is just showing

measurable maybe success is just showing up and so after that then the really

up and so after that then the really

up and so after that then the really hard one to practice is that second one

hard one to practice is that second one

hard one to practice is that second one then there my presence is enough to

then there my presence is enough to

then there my presence is enough to actually believe that my presence is

actually believe that my presence is

actually believe that my presence is greater than my performance and that

greater than my performance and that

greater than my performance and that perhaps me being here with you tonight

perhaps me being here with you tonight

perhaps me being here with you tonight my presence here is greater than what my

my presence here is greater than what my

my presence here is greater than what my website looks like

website looks like

website looks like how many Instagram followers I have and

how many Instagram followers I have and

how many Instagram followers I have and to start to value myself for my being

to start to value myself for my being

to start to value myself for my being not my doing but to also value what I do

not my doing but to also value what I do

not my doing but to also value what I do and what I do well that’s hard at least

and what I do well that’s hard at least

and what I do well that’s hard at least for me I had to face some fear my two

for me I had to face some fear my two

for me I had to face some fear my two biggest fears was that one we’d run out

biggest fears was that one we’d run out

biggest fears was that one we’d run out of money and shoe that you’d find out

of money and shoe that you’d find out

of money and shoe that you’d find out well the day that I was asked to speak

well the day that I was asked to speak

well the day that I was asked to speak here I logged in my bank account and I

here I logged in my bank account and I

here I logged in my bank account and I was overdrawn on my overdraft now I

was overdrawn on my overdraft now I

was overdrawn on my overdraft now I didn’t know that was possible but it is

didn’t know that was possible but it is

didn’t know that was possible but it is and and so the thing is now you know and

and and so the thing is now you know and

and and so the thing is now you know and I’m still breathing and I’m still living

I’m still breathing and I’m still living

I’m still breathing and I’m still living so I guess that one wasn’t really that

so I guess that one wasn’t really that

so I guess that one wasn’t really that big to be afraid of and I also had to

big to be afraid of and I also had to

big to be afraid of and I also had to then think okay well how can I replace

then think okay well how can I replace

then think okay well how can I replace that fear with some love and how can I

that fear with some love and how can I

that fear with some love and how can I log on to my bank account and actually

log on to my bank account and actually

log on to my bank account and actually be grateful what for what is in there

be grateful what for what is in there

be grateful what for what is in there for the roof that we have over our head

for the roof that we have over our head

for the roof that we have over our head and the food on our table and what I’ve

and the food on our table and what I’ve

and the food on our table and what I’ve had to learn to do what love has taught

had to learn to do what love has taught

had to learn to do what love has taught me is to step back and receive because

me is to step back and receive because

me is to step back and receive because the thing is our benefits application

the thing is our benefits application

the thing is our benefits application was denied but we were provided for all

was denied but we were provided for all

was denied but we were provided for all year long and I had very little to do

year long and I had very little to do

year long and I had very little to do with that and that was a huge pill to

with that and that was a huge pill to

with that and that was a huge pill to swallow and what that has all led me to

swallow and what that has all led me to

swallow and what that has all led me to is truth more truth about myself and

is truth more truth about myself and

is truth more truth about myself and with that comes freedom and truth that I

with that comes freedom and truth that I

with that comes freedom and truth that I don’t just love to coach I love to write

don’t just love to coach I love to write

don’t just love to coach I love to write I love to

I love to

I love to I love to hold space so others can dance

I love to hold space so others can dance

I love to hold space so others can dance and heal through that that I wrote a

and heal through that that I wrote a

and heal through that that I wrote a book and it was only me stopping it from

book and it was only me stopping it from

book and it was only me stopping it from being published and now it’s published

being published and now it’s published

being published and now it’s published I also found a truth that my marriage is

I also found a truth that my marriage is

I also found a truth that my marriage is more important to me and me being

more important to me and me being

more important to me and me being present is more important than me having

present is more important than me having

present is more important than me having a successful business and I fail it that

a successful business and I fail it that

a successful business and I fail it that miserably every day and the other truth

miserably every day and the other truth

miserably every day and the other truth that I found is that you know what it’s

that I found is that you know what it’s

that I found is that you know what it’s okay to not have it figured out all the

okay to not have it figured out all the

okay to not have it figured out all the time and the thing is I’d really love to

time and the thing is I’d really love to

time and the thing is I’d really love to stand here and tell you that because

stand here and tell you that because

stand here and tell you that because I’ve been practicing this for the past

I’ve been practicing this for the past

I’ve been practicing this for the past year that my bank account looks great it

year that my bank account looks great it

year that my bank account looks great it doesn’t but the thing is I’m more me and

doesn’t but the thing is I’m more me and

doesn’t but the thing is I’m more me and I have more freedom because I’ve shifted

I have more freedom because I’ve shifted

I have more freedom because I’ve shifted so much of that shame and that fear that

so much of that shame and that fear that

so much of that shame and that fear that I was carrying and that’s priceless so

I was carrying and that’s priceless so

I was carrying and that’s priceless so what does this have to do with you well

what does this have to do with you well

what does this have to do with you well two things so one if you’re sitting here

two things so one if you’re sitting here

two things so one if you’re sitting here and your story looks like my story have

and your story looks like my story have

and your story looks like my story have hope because there is a way out there’s

hope because there is a way out there’s

hope because there is a way out there’s a sustainable way out where you don’t

a sustainable way out where you don’t

a sustainable way out where you don’t have to fight and I haven’t just found

have to fight and I haven’t just found

have to fight and I haven’t just found this but the women that you’ve seen

this but the women that you’ve seen

this but the women that you’ve seen behind me they found this too and

behind me they found this too and

behind me they found this too and they’ve been here with their body their

they’ve been here with their body their

they’ve been here with their body their bank account their relationships and

bank account their relationships and

bank account their relationships and they also realized that this tug of war

they also realized that this tug of war

they also realized that this tug of war between here and there it doesn’t work

between here and there it doesn’t work

between here and there it doesn’t work and they’ve stepped out of that towards

and they’ve stepped out of that towards

and they’ve stepped out of that towards freedom to be themselves and so you can

freedom to be themselves and so you can

freedom to be themselves and so you can come practice this with us there’s space

come practice this with us there’s space

come practice this with us there’s space up there for you the other thing is

up there for you the other thing is

up there for you the other thing is about 18 months ago I was visiting my

about 18 months ago I was visiting my

about 18 months ago I was visiting my mom and we were going for a walk around

mom and we were going for a walk around

mom and we were going for a walk around the neighborhood and chatting about life

the neighborhood and chatting about life

the neighborhood and chatting about life and politics and the war on terror and I

and politics and the war on terror and I

and politics and the war on terror and I walked away from that conversation and I

walked away from that conversation and I

walked away from that conversation and I was like no no no something does not

was like no no no something does not

was like no no no something does not feel right here the war the war why are

feel right here the war the war why are

feel right here the war the war why are we calling this a war on terror and I

we calling this a war on terror and I

we calling this a war on terror and I realized this it’s because I have been

realized this it’s because I have been

realized this it’s because I have been at war I have been at war with myself

at war I have been at war with myself

at war I have been at war with myself I’ve been at war with my body and my

I’ve been at war with my body and my

I’ve been at war with my body and my bank account I have been my own

bank account I have been my own

bank account I have been my own terrorist and fighting it does not work

terrorist and fighting it does not work

terrorist and fighting it does not work and so if fighting doesn’t work for me

and so if fighting doesn’t work for me

and so if fighting doesn’t work for me if fighting doesn’t work for us why

if fighting doesn’t work for us why

if fighting doesn’t work for us why would it work for us I know that we live

would it work for us I know that we live

would it work for us I know that we live in this world where you each of you you

in this world where you each of you you

in this world where you each of you you have your version of what here is

have your version of what here is

have your version of what here is look at the world we’ve heard about so

look at the world we’ve heard about so

look at the world we’ve heard about so much that is not working right now and

much that is not working right now and

much that is not working right now and so it doesn’t matter what that is that

so it doesn’t matter what that is that

so it doesn’t matter what that is that gets you angry for seeing something

gets you angry for seeing something

gets you angry for seeing something different in the life trust that anger

different in the life trust that anger

different in the life trust that anger but what if we didn’t have to fight to

but what if we didn’t have to fight to

but what if we didn’t have to fight to get the answer and the solution and I

get the answer and the solution and I

get the answer and the solution and I look at my life and I look at my story

look at my life and I look at my story

look at my life and I look at my story and I think right if this if fighting

and I think right if this if fighting

and I think right if this if fighting didn’t work for me and it doesn’t work

didn’t work for me and it doesn’t work

didn’t work for me and it doesn’t work for us I don’t think it’s gonna work for

for us I don’t think it’s gonna work for

for us I don’t think it’s gonna work for all of us to get out of where we are but

all of us to get out of where we are but

all of us to get out of where we are but what if we started to all practice

what if we started to all practice

what if we started to all practice something different what if we all

something different what if we all

something different what if we all started to practice what I’ve been

started to practice what I’ve been

started to practice what I’ve been practicing that it’s okay to let go of

practicing that it’s okay to let go of

practicing that it’s okay to let go of holding on to the thing with the thought

holding on to the thing with the thought

holding on to the thing with the thought that I’m right and you’re wrong it’s

that I’m right and you’re wrong it’s

that I’m right and you’re wrong it’s okay to let go of whatever it is you’re

okay to let go of whatever it is you’re

okay to let go of whatever it is you’re you’re hanging your self-worth on it’s

you’re hanging your self-worth on it’s

you’re hanging your self-worth on it’s okay to actually start to value yourself

okay to actually start to value yourself

okay to actually start to value yourself for who you are and not what you do and

for who you are and not what you do and

for who you are and not what you do and to love yourself wherever you are even

to love yourself wherever you are even

to love yourself wherever you are even if it’s messy and even if it looks like

if it’s messy and even if it looks like

if it’s messy and even if it looks like failure and perhaps by doing that you

failure and perhaps by doing that you

failure and perhaps by doing that you could then give that gift to the person

could then give that gift to the person

could then give that gift to the person next to you even if you have very

next to you even if you have very

next to you even if you have very different ways of voting very different

different ways of voting very different

different ways of voting very different ways of praying very different ways of

ways of praying very different ways of

ways of praying very different ways of thinking but perhaps we could stop

thinking but perhaps we could stop

thinking but perhaps we could stop having to protect ourselves in the other

having to protect ourselves in the other

having to protect ourselves in the other and actually come together and find a

and actually come together and find a

and actually come together and find a way to love and to care for each other

way to love and to care for each other

way to love and to care for each other and perhaps if we practice that it would

and perhaps if we practice that it would

and perhaps if we practice that it would lead us to some truth your own personal

lead us to some truth your own personal

lead us to some truth your own personal truth and the truth about what is on

truth and the truth about what is on

truth and the truth about what is on your heart and what you want to see for

your heart and what you want to see for

your heart and what you want to see for this world and if we followed that and

this world and if we followed that and

this world and if we followed that and we’ve all listened to women who are

we’ve all listened to women who are

we’ve all listened to women who are following this and we can all do this

following this and we can all do this

following this and we can all do this together

together

together perhaps we lead to a sustainable

perhaps we lead to a sustainable

perhaps we lead to a sustainable solution for our world so here’s my

solution for our world so here’s my

solution for our world so here’s my second question for you tonight would

second question for you tonight would

second question for you tonight would you practice this with me

you practice this with me

you practice this with me and would you practice this with us and

and would you practice this with us and

and would you practice this with us and would you practice this for us thank you

you

you [Applause]

”

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