okay so when I was about 20 a twenty-year-old undergraduate student I
twenty-year-old undergraduate student I
twenty-year-old undergraduate student I lost my home
lost my home
lost my home my husband and I had fallen on financial
my husband and I had fallen on financial
my husband and I had fallen on financial hardship because working really hard on
hardship because working really hard on
hardship because working really hard on my finals I got pregnant and then I
my finals I got pregnant and then I
my finals I got pregnant and then I could not work because of Threatened
could not work because of Threatened
could not work because of Threatened miscarriage and then premature labor and
miscarriage and then premature labor and
miscarriage and then premature labor and on the day that we were expelled
on the day that we were expelled
on the day that we were expelled we waited outside for the council to
we waited outside for the council to
we waited outside for the council to decide whether I was indeed homeless
decide whether I was indeed homeless
decide whether I was indeed homeless whether I had made myself intentionally
whether I had made myself intentionally
whether I had made myself intentionally homeless and whether I was deserving of
homeless and whether I was deserving of
homeless and whether I was deserving of a home now I want you to picture this
a home now I want you to picture this
a home now I want you to picture this so please imagine that you are standing
so please imagine that you are standing
so please imagine that you are standing outside what used to be your home and
you have the few pieces of furniture
you have the few pieces of furniture that you own as a 20 year old scattered
that you own as a 20 year old scattered
that you own as a 20 year old scattered on the plain on the pavement and you
on the plain on the pavement and you
on the plain on the pavement and you have in your arm a small baby who as
have in your arm a small baby who as
have in your arm a small baby who as predicted was born prematurely
predicted was born prematurely
predicted was born prematurely and you are trying to make sure that we
and you are trying to make sure that we
and you are trying to make sure that we are warm and you are waiting how might
are warm and you are waiting how might
are warm and you are waiting how might you be feeling what kind of thoughts are
you be feeling what kind of thoughts are
you be feeling what kind of thoughts are going through your mind well I will tell
going through your mind well I will tell
going through your mind well I will tell you what went through my the phrase
you what went through my the phrase
you what went through my the phrase intentionally homeless resonated in my
intentionally homeless resonated in my
intentionally homeless resonated in my head
head
head and then I started to wonder I wondered
and then I started to wonder I wondered
and then I started to wonder I wondered whether I was to blame I wondered
whether I was to blame I wondered
whether I was to blame I wondered whether I had in fact not wanted to
whether I had in fact not wanted to
whether I had in fact not wanted to carry my baby to term I wondered whether
carry my baby to term I wondered whether
carry my baby to term I wondered whether the skepticism of the council was
the skepticism of the council was
the skepticism of the council was warranted and I wondered whether I was
warranted and I wondered whether I was
warranted and I wondered whether I was deserving
deserving
deserving of her home I was waiting and I was
of her home I was waiting and I was
of her home I was waiting and I was waiting for someone to take me home but
waiting for someone to take me home but
waiting for someone to take me home but not only in the physical sense because
not only in the physical sense because
not only in the physical sense because home was what I knew and what was real
home was what I knew and what was real
home was what I knew and what was real was home and in this moment I have never
was home and in this moment I have never
was home and in this moment I have never felt so exposed and ashamed and
felt so exposed and ashamed and
felt so exposed and ashamed and powerless and vulnerable in my sense of
powerless and vulnerable in my sense of
powerless and vulnerable in my sense of sanity now as a therapist I have been
sanity now as a therapist I have been
sanity now as a therapist I have been doing socio-politically and feminist
doing socio-politically and feminist
doing socio-politically and feminist inform work primarily with women of
inform work primarily with women of
inform work primarily with women of color and I started to recognize glimpse
color and I started to recognize glimpse
color and I started to recognize glimpse of my experience in the stories of sir
of my experience in the stories of sir
of my experience in the stories of sir told racism that women had entrusted me
told racism that women had entrusted me
told racism that women had entrusted me with and I started to make the
with and I started to make the
with and I started to make the connection of course and it is this
connection of course and it is this
connection of course and it is this connection that I would like to speak to
connection that I would like to speak to
connection that I would like to speak to you all about today and specifically to
you all about today and specifically to
you all about today and specifically to put to you that our capacity to have a
put to you that our capacity to have a
put to you that our capacity to have a home is dependent on our capacity to
home is dependent on our capacity to
home is dependent on our capacity to know or conversely that our capacity to
know or conversely that our capacity to
know or conversely that our capacity to know is dependent on a capacity to have
know is dependent on a capacity to have
know is dependent on a capacity to have a home but before I go on to explain I
a home but before I go on to explain I
a home but before I go on to explain I need to start off with some definitions
need to start off with some definitions
need to start off with some definitions so firstly homelessness and I take it to
so firstly homelessness and I take it to
so firstly homelessness and I take it to mean the condition of being without a
mean the condition of being without a
mean the condition of being without a permanent dwelling or the experience of
permanent dwelling or the experience of
permanent dwelling or the experience of feeling left without safe adequate or
feeling left without safe adequate or
feeling left without safe adequate or secure housing the second concept we
secure housing the second concept we
secure housing the second concept we need to think about is epistemic
need to think about is epistemic
need to think about is epistemic injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy
injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy
injustice and if hysteric is a fantasy world isn’t it a little bit well where I
world isn’t it a little bit well where I
world isn’t it a little bit well where I come from it is you can say anyway but
come from it is you can say anyway but
come from it is you can say anyway but actually what it means is things that
actually what it means is things that
actually what it means is things that are to do with knowing and knowledge and
are to do with knowing and knowledge and
are to do with knowing and knowledge and understanding the world and Myranda
understanding the world and Myranda
understanding the world and Myranda frikar proposes that epistemic injustice
frikar proposes that epistemic injustice
frikar proposes that epistemic injustice is done to us when we are rolled in our
is done to us when we are rolled in our
is done to us when we are rolled in our capacity to know or in our capacity
capacity to know or in our capacity
capacity to know or in our capacity to contribute to knowledge the final
to contribute to knowledge the final
to contribute to knowledge the final concept that might be helpful to bear in
concept that might be helpful to bear in
concept that might be helpful to bear in mind is that of ontological insecurity
mind is that of ontological insecurity
mind is that of ontological insecurity and ontological insecurity refers to
and ontological insecurity refers to
and ontological insecurity refers to people’s sense of security or insecurity
people’s sense of security or insecurity
people’s sense of security or insecurity about their being in the world
about their being in the world
about their being in the world it is conceptualized as a sense of
it is conceptualized as a sense of
it is conceptualized as a sense of intense anxiety or dread which results
intense anxiety or dread which results
intense anxiety or dread which results from being unable to give meaning to the
from being unable to give meaning to the
from being unable to give meaning to the event that opinion a life or when we
event that opinion a life or when we
event that opinion a life or when we struggle with knowing the reality or the
struggle with knowing the reality or the
struggle with knowing the reality or the existence of things of others and of the
existence of things of others and of the
existence of things of others and of the world so let’s go back to that
world so let’s go back to that
world so let’s go back to that connection our capacity to know is
connection our capacity to know is
connection our capacity to know is dependent on a capacity to have a home
dependent on a capacity to have a home
dependent on a capacity to have a home so let’s think about this we know that
so let’s think about this we know that
so let’s think about this we know that go home and knowing provide a sense of
go home and knowing provide a sense of
go home and knowing provide a sense of safety and security in time and in space
safety and security in time and in space
safety and security in time and in space we know that both home and knowing
we know that both home and knowing
we know that both home and knowing delineate boundaries boundaries between
delineate boundaries boundaries between
delineate boundaries boundaries between us and the world
us and the world
us and the world boundaries between the in and out
boundaries between the in and out
boundaries between the in and out boundaries between the known and the
boundaries between the known and the
boundaries between the known and the unknown and we know that both home and
unknown and we know that both home and
unknown and we know that both home and knowing provide a frame whether
knowing provide a frame whether
knowing provide a frame whether epistemic cognitive or physical and
epistemic cognitive or physical and
epistemic cognitive or physical and finally I would suggest that home and
finally I would suggest that home and
finally I would suggest that home and knowing both grandis and anchors but as
knowing both grandis and anchors but as
knowing both grandis and anchors but as not all and that is something else and
not all and that is something else and
not all and that is something else and something quite significant and I
something quite significant and I
something quite significant and I suggest that it is power because in the
suggest that it is power because in the
suggest that it is power because in the same way that physical homelessness
same way that physical homelessness
same way that physical homelessness require power inequality to work as it
require power inequality to work as it
require power inequality to work as it is usually people with more social power
is usually people with more social power
is usually people with more social power we can displace us and then decide
we can displace us and then decide
we can displace us and then decide whether we are entitled to the house or
whether we are entitled to the house or
whether we are entitled to the house or not
not
not stomach homelessness also require power
stomach homelessness also require power
stomach homelessness also require power to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m
to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m
to operate maybe I’m sure actually I’m sure that many of us today would have
sure that many of us today would have
sure that many of us today would have experienced this in the context of
experienced this in the context of
experienced this in the context of social oppression some might refer to
social oppression some might refer to
social oppression some might refer to such experience as micro aggression so
such experience as micro aggression so
such experience as micro aggression so let’s say maybe you are in the queue and
let’s say maybe you are in the queue and
let’s say maybe you are in the queue and the white person behind you get served
the white person behind you get served
the white person behind you get served before you or maybe as a brown or black
before you or maybe as a brown or black
before you or maybe as a brown or black body you are complimented on how well
body you are complimented on how well
body you are complimented on how well you speak English or indeed French or
you speak English or indeed French or
you speak English or indeed French or perhaps you enter a white space and you
perhaps you enter a white space and you
perhaps you enter a white space and you get hit by the gaze and it is said
get hit by the gaze and it is said
get hit by the gaze and it is said without being said that you are
without being said that you are
without being said that you are trespassing that your body does not
trespassing that your body does not
trespassing that your body does not belong and you feel hitting your guns
belong and you feel hitting your guns
belong and you feel hitting your guns and you know but as soon as you feel the
and you know but as soon as you feel the
and you know but as soon as you feel the violence particularly if you try to name
violence particularly if you try to name
violence particularly if you try to name the violence it is usually denied by
the violence it is usually denied by
the violence it is usually denied by people with more social power and so you
people with more social power and so you
people with more social power and so you might be told that you have a chip on
might be told that you have a chip on
might be told that you have a chip on your shoulder that you are paranoid and
your shoulder that you are paranoid and
your shoulder that you are paranoid and if you show any sign of distress or
if you show any sign of distress or
if you show any sign of distress or offense or god forbid anger you will be
offense or god forbid anger you will be
offense or god forbid anger you will be duly invited to respond more
duly invited to respond more
duly invited to respond more appropriately and it is at this time
appropriately and it is at this time
appropriately and it is at this time that you may start to doubt yourself
that you may start to doubt yourself
that you may start to doubt yourself that you’re pissed emic confidence might
that you’re pissed emic confidence might
that you’re pissed emic confidence might get hit that is your confidence in your
get hit that is your confidence in your
get hit that is your confidence in your capacity to know so you may start to
capacity to know so you may start to
capacity to know so you may start to wonder is it me am I the problem
wonder is it me am I the problem
wonder is it me am I the problem am i fabricating the problem because in
am i fabricating the problem because in
am i fabricating the problem because in the world of ceramic when we speak of a
the world of ceramic when we speak of a
the world of ceramic when we speak of a problem will become a problem and then
problem will become a problem and then
problem will become a problem and then you might think am I going mad
you might think am I going mad
you might think am I going mad now all the stories that were shared
now all the stories that were shared
now all the stories that were shared with me in therapy had a pistol make
with me in therapy had a pistol make
with me in therapy had a pistol make homelessness as a theme whatever were
homelessness as a theme whatever were
homelessness as a theme whatever were stories of work contribution being
stories of work contribution being
stories of work contribution being overlooked or stories of invisible eyes
overlooked or stories of invisible eyes
overlooked or stories of invisible eyes pain stories of being forced into
pain stories of being forced into
pain stories of being forced into stereotypes and stories about struggling
stereotypes and stories about struggling
stereotypes and stories about struggling to break free all the stories that I
to break free all the stories that I
to break free all the stories that I heard where stories of denial and
heard where stories of denial and
heard where stories of denial and invalidation each and every one of the
invalidation each and every one of the
invalidation each and every one of the story that I heard where a story of the
story that I heard where a story of the
story that I heard where a story of the normalization of the sades denial and
normalization of the sades denial and
normalization of the sades denial and invalidation you see because certain
invalidation you see because certain
invalidation you see because certain racism cannot be sane easily
racism cannot be sane easily
racism cannot be sane easily particularly by people who do not
particularly by people who do not
particularly by people who do not experience it it is easily tonight
experience it it is easily tonight
experience it it is easily tonight because again it cannot be seen you
because again it cannot be seen you
because again it cannot be seen you cannot see what you are unwilling to see
cannot see what you are unwilling to see
cannot see what you are unwilling to see and you cannot see what you have been
and you cannot see what you have been
and you cannot see what you have been programmed not to see and not every
programmed not to see and not every
programmed not to see and not every phenomenon that are or is inexistent can
phenomenon that are or is inexistent can
phenomenon that are or is inexistent can be seen but I have seen the distress and
be seen but I have seen the distress and
be seen but I have seen the distress and I have seen the subtle oppression and I
I have seen the subtle oppression and I
I have seen the subtle oppression and I have experienced it too but of course
have experienced it too but of course
have experienced it too but of course that’s not enough
that’s not enough
that’s not enough I am a final year doctoral student and
I am a final year doctoral student and
I am a final year doctoral student and therefore the importance of evidence and
therefore the importance of evidence and
therefore the importance of evidence and of having a scientific and querying mind
of having a scientific and querying mind
of having a scientific and querying mind cannot be overstated and so in my search
cannot be overstated and so in my search
cannot be overstated and so in my search for truth I did what all scientists
for truth I did what all scientists
for truth I did what all scientists would do of course I turned to Twitter
would do of course I turned to Twitter
would do of course I turned to Twitter and then I ran a few polls and the first
and then I ran a few polls and the first
and then I ran a few polls and the first question which was answered by 549
question which was answered by 549
question which was answered by 549 people asked whether people of color
people asked whether people of color
people asked whether people of color experienced covert racism and overt
experienced covert racism and overt
experienced covert racism and overt racism as equally challenging and the
racism as equally challenging and the
racism as equally challenging and the results suggested that covert racism was
results suggested that covert racism was
results suggested that covert racism was experienced about seven times more
experienced about seven times more
experienced about seven times more challenging the second question was
challenging the second question was
challenging the second question was answered by 336 people and was asking
answered by 336 people and was asking
answered by 336 people and was asking about the experience of those who had
about the experience of those who had
about the experience of those who had spoken out about their experience of
spoken out about their experience of
spoken out about their experience of social presence of certain racism in
social presence of certain racism in
social presence of certain racism in particular and so I want you to know
particular and so I want you to know
particular and so I want you to know what had happened to them result
what had happened to them result
what had happened to them result indicated that 95 percent of people of
indicated that 95 percent of people of
indicated that 95 percent of people of color who had spoken about the
color who had spoken about the
color who had spoken about the experience of Sirte racism had been
experience of Sirte racism had been
experience of Sirte racism had been either ignored ridiculed or simply
either ignored ridiculed or simply
either ignored ridiculed or simply disbelieved living only 5% of those who
disbelieved living only 5% of those who
disbelieved living only 5% of those who had taken the poll saying that they had
had taken the poll saying that they had
had taken the poll saying that they had been believed or that they had been
been believed or that they had been
been believed or that they had been treated kindly the last poll was curious
treated kindly the last poll was curious
treated kindly the last poll was curious to find out what the impact of this
to find out what the impact of this
to find out what the impact of this denial of this epistemic injustice was
denial of this epistemic injustice was
denial of this epistemic injustice was on people of color and a wide range of
on people of color and a wide range of
on people of color and a wide range of responses were reported the first one
responses were reported the first one
responses were reported the first one which was answered by 36% of those who
which was answered by 36% of those who
which was answered by 36% of those who took the poll was feeling as though one
took the poll was feeling as though one
took the poll was feeling as though one is losing was mind and the second
is losing was mind and the second
is losing was mind and the second question and said by about 32% of those
question and said by about 32% of those
question and said by about 32% of those who took the poll was feeling in pain
who took the poll was feeling in pain
who took the poll was feeling in pain and in distress now as I said there was
and in distress now as I said there was
and in distress now as I said there was a wide range of response so some of the
a wide range of response so some of the
a wide range of response so some of the response included feeling anger feeling
response included feeling anger feeling
response included feeling anger feeling rage feeling fury feeling helpless
rage feeling fury feeling helpless
rage feeling fury feeling helpless feeling powerlessness
feeling powerlessness
feeling powerlessness feeling exhaustion feeling tired and
feeling exhaustion feeling tired and
feeling exhaustion feeling tired and also feeling gaslighted one participant
also feeling gaslighted one participant
also feeling gaslighted one participant named Pauline mayor’s described her
named Pauline mayor’s described her
named Pauline mayor’s described her experience as below she said that it is
experience as below she said that it is
experience as below she said that it is feeling like a stranger in a familiar
feeling like a stranger in a familiar
feeling like a stranger in a familiar land with no support and no anchor and
land with no support and no anchor and
land with no support and no anchor and when I read when I read those words I
when I read when I read those words I
when I read when I read those words I got goose bumps because when I was
got goose bumps because when I was
got goose bumps because when I was reflecting on my experience and
reflecting on my experience and
reflecting on my experience and experience of people of color it was the
experience of people of color it was the
experience of people of color it was the image and the word anchor that kept
image and the word anchor that kept
image and the word anchor that kept coming to mind and my definition was
coming to mind and my definition was
coming to mind and my definition was already centered around it so I would
already centered around it so I would
already centered around it so I would like to suggest that epistemic
like to suggest that epistemic
like to suggest that epistemic homelessness is the subjective
homelessness is the subjective
homelessness is the subjective experience of losing anchor in situation
experience of losing anchor in situation
experience of losing anchor in situation of epistemic injustice that it is a
of epistemic injustice that it is a
of epistemic injustice that it is a sense of being displaced from once truth
sense of being displaced from once truth
sense of being displaced from once truth base that it is if you like a mediating
base that it is if you like a mediating
base that it is if you like a mediating variable between epistemic confidence
variable between epistemic confidence
variable between epistemic confidence and ontological insecurity now well
and ontological insecurity now well
and ontological insecurity now well where do we go from here the research
where do we go from here the research
where do we go from here the research evidence and not just Twitter evidence
evidence and not just Twitter evidence
evidence and not just Twitter evidence suggests that covert racism is at least
suggests that covert racism is at least
suggests that covert racism is at least as distressing if not more than more
as distressing if not more than more
as distressing if not more than more overt classes of racism and so I would
overt classes of racism and so I would
overt classes of racism and so I would like to leave some strategies but women
like to leave some strategies but women
like to leave some strategies but women of color in particular and other
of color in particular and other
of color in particular and other marginalized people may want to attempt
marginalized people may want to attempt
marginalized people may want to attempt to support themselves with the
to support themselves with the
to support themselves with the experience of epistemic homelessness and
experience of epistemic homelessness and
experience of epistemic homelessness and the first one is trust your experience
the first one is trust your experience
the first one is trust your experience as marginalized people we are socialized
as marginalized people we are socialized
as marginalized people we are socialized to destroy
to destroy
to destroy be suspicious of a mind of our buddies
be suspicious of a mind of our buddies
be suspicious of a mind of our buddies of a competence of our capacity to know
of a competence of our capacity to know
of a competence of our capacity to know all of which can undermine our stomach
all of which can undermine our stomach
all of which can undermine our stomach confidence and make it easier for us to
confidence and make it easier for us to
confidence and make it easier for us to experience epistemic homelessness so
experience epistemic homelessness so
experience epistemic homelessness so what I always say is that trusting our
what I always say is that trusting our
what I always say is that trusting our lived experience is a vital act of
lived experience is a vital act of
lived experience is a vital act of resistance so get to know your truth
resistance so get to know your truth
resistance so get to know your truth signals trust them because the chances
signals trust them because the chances
signals trust them because the chances are they will point you in the right
are they will point you in the right
are they will point you in the right direction the direction of home the
direction the direction of home the
direction the direction of home the second strategy when your reality is
second strategy when your reality is
second strategy when your reality is being denied and you are facing at
being denied and you are facing at
being denied and you are facing at historic injustice take a
historic injustice take a
historic injustice take a socio-political view of the situation
socio-political view of the situation
socio-political view of the situation and ask yourself not only what is
and ask yourself not only what is
and ask yourself not only what is happening in the here and now but also
happening in the here and now but also
happening in the here and now but also what is being reproduced
what is being reproduced
what is being reproduced socio-politically think about who is
socio-politically think about who is
socio-politically think about who is deemed to be the knower in the situation
deemed to be the knower in the situation
deemed to be the knower in the situation think about where power lies and
think about where power lies and
think about where power lies and remember that the ultimate power is the
remember that the ultimate power is the
remember that the ultimate power is the power to define and we have that power
power to define and we have that power
power to define and we have that power so let’s define the world and let’s
so let’s define the world and let’s
so let’s define the world and let’s define our experience number three you
define our experience number three you
define our experience number three you do not need to make your lived
do not need to make your lived
do not need to make your lived experience and your lived reality
experience and your lived reality
experience and your lived reality subject to approval subject to agreement
subject to approval subject to agreement
subject to approval subject to agreement subject to debate so this is something
subject to debate so this is something
subject to debate so this is something that all of us perhaps need to learn an
that all of us perhaps need to learn an
that all of us perhaps need to learn an impact because making our experience and
impact because making our experience and
impact because making our experience and our reality subject to debate and
our reality subject to debate and
our reality subject to debate and putting it on a table means that we are
putting it on a table means that we are
putting it on a table means that we are opening ourselves to the possibility of
opening ourselves to the possibility of
opening ourselves to the possibility of our life and what we feel and what we
our life and what we feel and what we
our life and what we feel and what we experience being subject to disagreement
experience being subject to disagreement
experience being subject to disagreement and I don’t think we need to compromise
and I don’t think we need to compromise
and I don’t think we need to compromise on what it is that we are experiencing
on what it is that we are experiencing
on what it is that we are experiencing finally if you do lose your
finally if you do lose your
finally if you do lose your and perhaps you are heading towards
and perhaps you are heading towards
and perhaps you are heading towards ontological insecurity or perhaps you
ontological insecurity or perhaps you
ontological insecurity or perhaps you already there please seek support seek
already there please seek support seek
already there please seek support seek refuge from people who will not only in
refuge from people who will not only in
refuge from people who will not only in your home and provide refuge but help
your home and provide refuge but help
your home and provide refuge but help you find your way back there thank you
”
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