How proximity changes perspective | Stephanie Summerville | TEDxTysons

so I was born in southern Indiana in the

so I was born in southern Indiana in the late 1960s and even though Indiana is

late 1960s and even though Indiana is

late 1960s and even though Indiana is considered to be a northern state it has

considered to be a northern state it has

considered to be a northern state it has a racial history that is more in line

a racial history that is more in line

a racial history that is more in line with that of a deep south state so for

with that of a deep south state so for

with that of a deep south state so for example in the early 1900s Indiana

example in the early 1900s Indiana

example in the early 1900s Indiana experienced a surge of lynchings and

experienced a surge of lynchings and

experienced a surge of lynchings and cross burnings in the late 1920s the Ku

cross burnings in the late 1920s the Ku

cross burnings in the late 1920s the Ku Klux Klan moved their headquarters there

Klux Klan moved their headquarters there

Klux Klan moved their headquarters there and throughout the 30s and 40s many of

and throughout the 30s and 40s many of

and throughout the 30s and 40s many of the small municipalities became sundown

the small municipalities became sundown

the small municipalities became sundown towns those were towns where black

towns those were towns where black

towns those were towns where black people could not be on the streets at

people could not be on the streets at

people could not be on the streets at night or else they would be subject to

night or else they would be subject to

night or else they would be subject to discrimination violence and murder so

discrimination violence and murder so

discrimination violence and murder so these early events cast a shadow on the

these early events cast a shadow on the

these early events cast a shadow on the era that I grew up in and it made for a

era that I grew up in and it made for a

era that I grew up in and it made for a very difficult childhood because I

very difficult childhood because I

very difficult childhood because I attended predominantly all-white schools

attended predominantly all-white schools

attended predominantly all-white schools and I spent and in time and energy

and I spent and in time and energy

and I spent and in time and energy trying to make myself accepted and liked

trying to make myself accepted and liked

trying to make myself accepted and liked and I was I was one of those

and I was I was one of those

and I was I was one of those overachiever team player types but I

overachiever team player types but I

overachiever team player types but I never felt truly accepted so when I got

never felt truly accepted so when I got

never felt truly accepted so when I got into high school I decided that I was

into high school I decided that I was

into high school I decided that I was going to attend an historic Negro

going to attend an historic Negro

going to attend an historic Negro College that’s what we called them back

College that’s what we called them back

College that’s what we called them back of the day because I was an idealist so

of the day because I was an idealist so

of the day because I was an idealist so I thought this is going to be great cuz

I thought this is going to be great cuz

I thought this is going to be great cuz I’m gonna go down to Atlanta and I’m

I’m gonna go down to Atlanta and I’m

I’m gonna go down to Atlanta and I’m going to meet other brilliant minds from

going to meet other brilliant minds from

going to meet other brilliant minds from throughout the African Diaspora and

throughout the African Diaspora and

throughout the African Diaspora and we’re gonna collaborate together and

we’re gonna collaborate together and

we’re gonna collaborate together and somehow change the world and I thought

somehow change the world and I thought

somehow change the world and I thought was gonna be great so I got down there

was gonna be great so I got down there

was gonna be great so I got down there and that is exactly what did not happen

and that is exactly what did not happen

and that is exactly what did not happen it did not happen

it did not happen

it did not happen the reason why was the college I

the reason why was the college I

the reason why was the college I attended had a corrupt administration

attended had a corrupt administration

attended had a corrupt administration its President was embezzling funds from

its President was embezzling funds from

its President was embezzling funds from the school and this set off a horrible

the school and this set off a horrible

the school and this set off a horrible chain of events that caused me to lose

chain of events that caused me to lose

chain of events that caused me to lose everything that I had worked for so I

everything that I had worked for so I

everything that I had worked for so I lost my campus housing I lost all of my

lost my campus housing I lost all of my

lost my campus housing I lost all of my scholarships but the thing that I lost

scholarships but the thing that I lost

scholarships but the thing that I lost that was of most value to me was my

that was of most value to me was my

that was of most value to me was my absolute stellar 4.0 GPA and I had to go

absolute stellar 4.0 GPA and I had to go

absolute stellar 4.0 GPA and I had to go back to the one place I didn’t want to

back to the one place I didn’t want to

back to the one place I didn’t want to go to which was Southern Indiana so I

go to which was Southern Indiana so I

go to which was Southern Indiana so I get home I didn’t even tell anybody I

get home I didn’t even tell anybody I

get home I didn’t even tell anybody I was going home I just showed up and my

was going home I just showed up and my

was going home I just showed up and my mom is like why are you here and so I

mom is like why are you here and so I

mom is like why are you here and so I told her my story and she said well

told her my story and she said well

told her my story and she said well that’s really sad but I have just sold

that’s really sad but I have just sold

that’s really sad but I have just sold all of

all of

all of or furniture and your bedroom is now my

or furniture and your bedroom is now my

or furniture and your bedroom is now my living TV / sitting room so you can’t

living TV / sitting room so you can’t

living TV / sitting room so you can’t stay here

stay here

stay here so in protest and partially out of shock

so in protest and partially out of shock

so in protest and partially out of shock I want to go live in the garage now this

I want to go live in the garage now this

I want to go live in the garage now this wasn’t like Greg Brady’s bachelor pad in

wasn’t like Greg Brady’s bachelor pad in

wasn’t like Greg Brady’s bachelor pad in the Brady Bunch’s renovated garage this

the Brady Bunch’s renovated garage this

the Brady Bunch’s renovated garage this was a garage and I slept in front of the

was a garage and I slept in front of the

was a garage and I slept in front of the car I got some old patio furniture and

car I got some old patio furniture and

car I got some old patio furniture and some cushions and I made a bed and I

some cushions and I made a bed and I

some cushions and I made a bed and I began to sleep about 12 to 14 hours a

began to sleep about 12 to 14 hours a

began to sleep about 12 to 14 hours a day because I had become clinically

day because I had become clinically

day because I had become clinically depressed now when you’re clinically

depressed now when you’re clinically

depressed now when you’re clinically depressed it’s not that you are just sad

depressed it’s not that you are just sad

depressed it’s not that you are just sad you don’t have any physical energy and

you don’t have any physical energy and

you don’t have any physical energy and it takes you a long time to either

it takes you a long time to either

it takes you a long time to either connect the dots or see the big picture

connect the dots or see the big picture

connect the dots or see the big picture so this was where I was at and about

so this was where I was at and about

so this was where I was at and about five to six weeks in I figured I had to

five to six weeks in I figured I had to

five to six weeks in I figured I had to get up and do something so I started

get up and do something so I started

get up and do something so I started looking through the classifieds for a

looking through the classifieds for a

looking through the classifieds for a job and it was if the heavens had opened

job and it was if the heavens had opened

job and it was if the heavens had opened up because I saw this head headline it

up because I saw this head headline it

up because I saw this head headline it was like the Angels would oh because it

was like the Angels would oh because it

was like the Angels would oh because it said sitters wanted and I thought to

said sitters wanted and I thought to

said sitters wanted and I thought to myself what better job for a depressed

myself what better job for a depressed

myself what better job for a depressed person to have than a gig as a sitter

person to have than a gig as a sitter

person to have than a gig as a sitter it’s like I could totally do this I had

it’s like I could totally do this I had

it’s like I could totally do this I had no idea what it was so I went to the

no idea what it was so I went to the

no idea what it was so I went to the company it was called health skills and

company it was called health skills and

company it was called health skills and it turned out to be a temp agency that

it turned out to be a temp agency that

it turned out to be a temp agency that was part of the new emerging market for

was part of the new emerging market for

was part of the new emerging market for in-home health care assistants what we

in-home health care assistants what we

in-home health care assistants what we now call companion care so they had to

now call companion care so they had to

now call companion care so they had to do all of the non-medical things like

do all of the non-medical things like

do all of the non-medical things like feed people and help clean them up and

feed people and help clean them up and

feed people and help clean them up and give them exercise so I said I could do

give them exercise so I said I could do

give them exercise so I said I could do that so I get my first assignment and

that so I get my first assignment and

that so I get my first assignment and it’s in an area of town that I have

it’s in an area of town that I have

it’s in an area of town that I have never been in before it’s it’s got a

never been in before it’s it’s got a

never been in before it’s it’s got a bunch of it’s a white working-class

bunch of it’s a white working-class

bunch of it’s a white working-class neighborhoods got a bunch of I guess

neighborhoods got a bunch of I guess

neighborhoods got a bunch of I guess we’d call them

we’d call them

we’d call them they’re like shotgun houses that are up

they’re like shotgun houses that are up

they’re like shotgun houses that are up on cinder blocks and they’ve got the two

on cinder blocks and they’ve got the two

on cinder blocks and they’ve got the two steps ups to the porch so I go to the

steps ups to the porch so I go to the

steps ups to the porch so I go to the door and it’s got a little window in it

door and it’s got a little window in it

door and it’s got a little window in it with a little lace curtain behind it so

with a little lace curtain behind it so

with a little lace curtain behind it so I go and knock on the door and I see the

I go and knock on the door and I see the

I go and knock on the door and I see the curtain get pulled back and I see this

curtain get pulled back and I see this

curtain get pulled back and I see this thin wiry sort of sissy spacek looking

thin wiry sort of sissy spacek looking

thin wiry sort of sissy spacek looking sort of a woman and she slams the

sort of a woman and she slams the

sort of a woman and she slams the curtain and she says go away and I say

curtain and she says go away and I say

curtain and she says go away and I say ma’am

ma’am

ma’am I’m from hell skills you ordered a

I’m from hell skills you ordered a

I’m from hell skills you ordered a sitter and she says go away we don’t

sitter and she says go away we don’t

sitter and she says go away we don’t want you here

want you here

want you here and so I try to explain to her again why

and so I try to explain to her again why

and so I try to explain to her again why I’m there and so she goes away from the

I’m there and so she goes away from the

I’m there and so she goes away from the door and I hear her get on the phone and

door and I hear her get on the phone and

door and I hear her get on the phone and now I’m a little worried because I’m

now I’m a little worried because I’m

now I’m a little worried because I’m standing outside it’s hot July’s little

standing outside it’s hot July’s little

standing outside it’s hot July’s little sticky I’m in a neighborhood I don’t

sticky I’m in a neighborhood I don’t

sticky I’m in a neighborhood I don’t know anything about and now she’s having

know anything about and now she’s having

know anything about and now she’s having a heated argument with the people on the

a heated argument with the people on the

a heated argument with the people on the phone and she’s not winning the battle

phone and she’s not winning the battle

phone and she’s not winning the battle so finally she slams the phone down and

so finally she slams the phone down and

so finally she slams the phone down and comes and opens the door and from this

comes and opens the door and from this

comes and opens the door and from this moment on this woman says not a word to

moment on this woman says not a word to

moment on this woman says not a word to me for the entire time that I work for

me for the entire time that I work for

me for the entire time that I work for her so I have to Intuit what it is that

her so I have to Intuit what it is that

her so I have to Intuit what it is that she wants so she opens the door so I

she wants so she opens the door so I

she wants so she opens the door so I walk in and their house has set up kind

walk in and their house has set up kind

walk in and their house has set up kind of like a railroad apartment it’s a

of like a railroad apartment it’s a

of like a railroad apartment it’s a series of rooms that are connected by

series of rooms that are connected by

series of rooms that are connected by doorways or portals and you can see the

doorways or portals and you can see the

doorways or portals and you can see the back of the house from the front of the

back of the house from the front of the

back of the house from the front of the house so we walk through the living room

house so we walk through the living room

house so we walk through the living room we walk through the kitchen

we walk through the kitchen

we walk through the kitchen and when I get to the bedroom doorway I

and when I get to the bedroom doorway I

and when I get to the bedroom doorway I have to stop my own gag reflex

have to stop my own gag reflex

have to stop my own gag reflex because the room is filled with the

because the room is filled with the

because the room is filled with the horrible stench of bile and I look on

horrible stench of bile and I look on

horrible stench of bile and I look on the bed and lying at a 45-degree angle

the bed and lying at a 45-degree angle

the bed and lying at a 45-degree angle is this middle-aged man he’s completely

is this middle-aged man he’s completely

is this middle-aged man he’s completely unconscious he’s got lots of tubes

unconscious he’s got lots of tubes

unconscious he’s got lots of tubes sticking out of him and he’s hooked up

sticking out of him and he’s hooked up

sticking out of him and he’s hooked up to a breathing machine and coming up out

to a breathing machine and coming up out

to a breathing machine and coming up out of his mouth and nose is this brown

of his mouth and nose is this brown

of his mouth and nose is this brown mousse or foam and I later learned that

mousse or foam and I later learned that

mousse or foam and I later learned that this man is dying of cirrhosis of the

this man is dying of cirrhosis of the

this man is dying of cirrhosis of the liver

liver

liver and in his final stages the liver is

and in his final stages the liver is

and in his final stages the liver is breaking down and it and bio are

breaking down and it and bio are

breaking down and it and bio are flooding the body cavity backing up into

flooding the body cavity backing up into

flooding the body cavity backing up into the lungs and the breathing machine is

the lungs and the breathing machine is

the lungs and the breathing machine is trying to push this stuff out so that he

trying to push this stuff out so that he

trying to push this stuff out so that he can breathe and it reaches sort of this

can breathe and it reaches sort of this

can breathe and it reaches sort of this critical mass and then it subsides for

critical mass and then it subsides for

critical mass and then it subsides for about 15 minutes

about 15 minutes

about 15 minutes and that’s when I realize that it’s my

and that’s when I realize that it’s my

and that’s when I realize that it’s my job to clean it up so I go immediately

job to clean it up so I go immediately

job to clean it up so I go immediately over and it’s very obvious what needs to

over and it’s very obvious what needs to

over and it’s very obvious what needs to be done because there’s rags and mops in

be done because there’s rags and mops in

be done because there’s rags and mops in a basin full of water and I start to

a basin full of water and I start to

a basin full of water and I start to clean him up and it’s okay so I look

clean him up and it’s okay so I look

clean him up and it’s okay so I look back at the woman and she’s standing in

back at the woman and she’s standing in

back at the woman and she’s standing in the doorway with her arms folded and

the doorway with her arms folded and

the doorway with her arms folded and she’s got this kind of angry folk poker

she’s got this kind of angry folk poker

she’s got this kind of angry folk poker face and I don’t understand why because

face and I don’t understand why because

face and I don’t understand why because I just did my job and I thought I did it

I just did my job and I thought I did it

I just did my job and I thought I did it pretty good considering because I didn’t

pretty good considering because I didn’t

pretty good considering because I didn’t have any instruction so I just turned to

have any instruction so I just turned to

have any instruction so I just turned to her and I say in a professional way you

her and I say in a professional way you

her and I say in a professional way you know I’ve got this now and so she goes

know I’ve got this now and so she goes

know I’ve got this now and so she goes back down the hallway into the living

back down the hallway into the living

back down the hallway into the living room and there’s a couch right by the

room and there’s a couch right by the

room and there’s a couch right by the living room door so she goes to sit at

living room door so she goes to sit at

living room door so she goes to sit at it so she can see me when she’s looking

it so she can see me when she’s looking

it so she can see me when she’s looking back down through the house and she’s

back down through the house and she’s

back down through the house and she’s not looking at the TV she’s looking

not looking at the TV she’s looking

not looking at the TV she’s looking directly at me now I don’t know about

directly at me now I don’t know about

directly at me now I don’t know about you all but in Indiana I was always

you all but in Indiana I was always

you all but in Indiana I was always taught to normalize awkward situations

taught to normalize awkward situations

taught to normalize awkward situations so that’s what I thought I would do

so that’s what I thought I would do

so that’s what I thought I would do there was a table and chair by the by

there was a table and chair by the by

there was a table and chair by the by the doorway and I was opposite the bed

the doorway and I was opposite the bed

the doorway and I was opposite the bed so I was like it’s great I’m gonna just

so I was like it’s great I’m gonna just

so I was like it’s great I’m gonna just sit down I can see the man and there’s a

sit down I can see the man and there’s a

sit down I can see the man and there’s a Confederate flag behind him who’s on the

Confederate flag behind him who’s on the

Confederate flag behind him who’s on the wall and so now I’m starting to take in

wall and so now I’m starting to take in

wall and so now I’m starting to take in all the decor because at this moment in

all the decor because at this moment in

all the decor because at this moment in my life I am so into Martha Stewart

my life I am so into Martha Stewart

my life I am so into Martha Stewart because the magazine has just come out

because the magazine has just come out

because the magazine has just come out and I’ve got all these brand new like

and I’ve got all these brand new like

and I’ve got all these brand new like lexicon of interior design terms that

lexicon of interior design terms that

lexicon of interior design terms that I’m trying to like use so I’m sitting

I’m trying to like use so I’m sitting

I’m trying to like use so I’m sitting there thinking to myself as I’m looking

there thinking to myself as I’m looking

there thinking to myself as I’m looking around like hmm they’ve styled this room

around like hmm they’ve styled this room

around like hmm they’ve styled this room with shaker furniture and oh look on the

with shaker furniture and oh look on the

with shaker furniture and oh look on the walls they’ve got oak paneled

walls they’ve got oak paneled

walls they’ve got oak paneled wainscotting check out that decorative

wainscotting check out that decorative

wainscotting check out that decorative coat rack look at those impressive

coat rack look at those impressive

coat rack look at those impressive finials and so on the coat rack they

finials and so on the coat rack they

finials and so on the coat rack they have this beautiful white robe with a

have this beautiful white robe with a

have this beautiful white robe with a white cross a patch on it and a matching

white cross a patch on it and a matching

white cross a patch on it and a matching hood but you got to remember I am

hood but you got to remember I am

hood but you got to remember I am clinically depressed and I’m not kept

clinically depressed and I’m not kept

clinically depressed and I’m not kept you know connecting the dots but it does

you know connecting the dots but it does

you know connecting the dots but it does not matter anyway because I am enamored

not matter anyway because I am enamored

not matter anyway because I am enamored with the buttonhole stitching around the

with the buttonhole stitching around the

with the buttonhole stitching around the eye holes in the hood so as I’m looking

eye holes in the hood so as I’m looking

eye holes in the hood so as I’m looking around I happen to glance at the woman

around I happen to glance at the woman

around I happen to glance at the woman and now she is looking at me with these

and now she is looking at me with these

and now she is looking at me with these eyes

eyes

eyes of hate and it’s starting to make me

of hate and it’s starting to make me

of hate and it’s starting to make me anxious like oh my god I gotta find

anxious like oh my god I gotta find

anxious like oh my god I gotta find something to do something to do

something to do something to do

something to do something to do something to do so I look on the table

something to do so I look on the table

something to do so I look on the table and it looks like there’s a book there

and it looks like there’s a book there

and it looks like there’s a book there looks like to be a Bible because it’s

looks like to be a Bible because it’s

looks like to be a Bible because it’s got guilt littering I was like okay

got guilt littering I was like okay

got guilt littering I was like okay great I know my way around a Bible I

great I know my way around a Bible I

great I know my way around a Bible I could do this because Psalms if you’re

could do this because Psalms if you’re

could do this because Psalms if you’re sad there’s proverbs for wisdom the

sad there’s proverbs for wisdom the

sad there’s proverbs for wisdom the whole thing kicks off with Genesis it’s

whole thing kicks off with Genesis it’s

whole thing kicks off with Genesis it’s a very compelling story I can entertain

a very compelling story I can entertain

a very compelling story I can entertain myself and so I open up this book and

myself and so I open up this book and

myself and so I open up this book and I’m trying to orient myself with the

I’m trying to orient myself with the

I’m trying to orient myself with the Testaments and I find myself reading

Testaments and I find myself reading

Testaments and I find myself reading this horrible manifesto about the

this horrible manifesto about the

this horrible manifesto about the supremacy of the white race and how

supremacy of the white race and how

supremacy of the white race and how everybody should be annihilated but then

everybody should be annihilated but then

everybody should be annihilated but then and so I close the book I look at the

and so I close the book I look at the

and so I close the book I look at the flag I look at the man and when I get to

flag I look at the man and when I get to

flag I look at the man and when I get to the robe

the robe

the robe that is when I realize that I am in the

that is when I realize that I am in the

that is when I realize that I am in the house of an honest-to-god Klansmen and I

house of an honest-to-god Klansmen and I

house of an honest-to-god Klansmen and I am a black woman so look at the woman is

am a black woman so look at the woman is

am a black woman so look at the woman is she’s looking to me like do you get this

she’s looking to me like do you get this

she’s looking to me like do you get this now and I am like oh so now the

now and I am like oh so now the

now and I am like oh so now the breathing machine goes off and the Moose

breathing machine goes off and the Moose

breathing machine goes off and the Moose is coming up out of the man’s mouth the

is coming up out of the man’s mouth the

is coming up out of the man’s mouth the nose and I’m thinking to myself thank

nose and I’m thinking to myself thank

nose and I’m thinking to myself thank God I have something to do I really have

God I have something to do I really have

God I have something to do I really have something to do and I’m so happy I look

something to do and I’m so happy I look

something to do and I’m so happy I look very calm on the outside but inside my

very calm on the outside but inside my

very calm on the outside but inside my mind is racing like one of those cartoon

mind is racing like one of those cartoon

mind is racing like one of those cartoon characters from the 30s I was like wow

characters from the 30s I was like wow

characters from the 30s I was like wow [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] I’m freaking out my mind I’m these crazy

I’m freaking out my mind I’m these crazy

I’m freaking out my mind I’m these crazy conversations like oh my god is the

conversations like oh my god is the

conversations like oh my god is the cleansing it was to kill me but I’m a

cleansing it was to kill me but I’m a

cleansing it was to kill me but I’m a woman I need a job and it’ll kill the

woman I need a job and it’ll kill the

woman I need a job and it’ll kill the kid because I’m freaking out oh my god

kid because I’m freaking out oh my god

kid because I’m freaking out oh my god oh my god what if he’s got Klansmen

oh my god what if he’s got Klansmen

oh my god what if he’s got Klansmen friends and what if they come over to

friends and what if they come over to

friends and what if they come over to give their condolences and then they’re

give their condolences and then they’re

give their condolences and then they’re gonna hang out and maybe play Klansmen

gonna hang out and maybe play Klansmen

gonna hang out and maybe play Klansmen poker and it’s just like I do not have

poker and it’s just like I do not have

poker and it’s just like I do not have time for a Rosa Parks moment people I

time for a Rosa Parks moment people I

time for a Rosa Parks moment people I just need a job I just need a job so in

just need a job I just need a job so in

just need a job I just need a job so in the middle of all of this freaking out I

the middle of all of this freaking out I

the middle of all of this freaking out I hear this calm voice that says you need

hear this calm voice that says you need

hear this calm voice that says you need to pull this together because you can do

to pull this together because you can do

to pull this together because you can do this and I realize it is the voice of my

this and I realize it is the voice of my

this and I realize it is the voice of my inner overachiever and it says to me

inner overachiever and it says to me

inner overachiever and it says to me that you can totally do this you are not

that you can totally do this you are not

that you can totally do this you are not gonna let a little racism stand in your

gonna let a little racism stand in your

gonna let a little racism stand in your way

way

way you are going to do this job you are

you are going to do this job you are

you are going to do this job you are do it well you are going to get an A+

do it well you are going to get an A+

do it well you are going to get an A+ you are gonna get a paycheck and then

you are gonna get a paycheck and then

you are gonna get a paycheck and then you’re gonna get the hell up out of here

you’re gonna get the hell up out of here

you’re gonna get the hell up out of here and that is exactly what did happen it

and that is exactly what did happen it

and that is exactly what did happen it did happen for four times on the hour

did happen for four times on the hour

did happen for four times on the hour four times on the hour for four hours

four times on the hour for four hours

four times on the hour for four hours that day that is what I did and I came

that day that is what I did and I came

that day that is what I did and I came back the next day I didn’t say anything

back the next day I didn’t say anything

back the next day I didn’t say anything to anybody about my experience and she

to anybody about my experience and she

to anybody about my experience and she opened the door and we did it again she

opened the door and we did it again she

opened the door and we did it again she went about her business I went about

went about her business I went about

went about her business I went about mine and we continued on to the third

mine and we continued on to the third

mine and we continued on to the third day and that’s when I began to notice

day and that’s when I began to notice

day and that’s when I began to notice that this woman was getting a little

that this woman was getting a little

that this woman was getting a little Haggard she had come to open the door

Haggard she had come to open the door

Haggard she had come to open the door and then she would just crash on the

and then she would just crash on the

and then she would just crash on the couch and that’s when I realized that

couch and that’s when I realized that

couch and that’s when I realized that there was nobody coming to help this

there was nobody coming to help this

there was nobody coming to help this woman that the only respite that she had

woman that the only respite that she had

woman that the only respite that she had from this hell was the four hours that I

from this hell was the four hours that I

from this hell was the four hours that I was there and that’s when my

was there and that’s when my

was there and that’s when my determination gave way to compassion and

determination gave way to compassion and

determination gave way to compassion and it no longer was about what I could do

it no longer was about what I could do

it no longer was about what I could do what I could achieve what I could

what I could achieve what I could

what I could achieve what I could overcome it was about rendering service

overcome it was about rendering service

overcome it was about rendering service to someone in need without judgment and

to someone in need without judgment and

to someone in need without judgment and on the fifth day the agency called me

on the fifth day the agency called me

on the fifth day the agency called me and they said Stef we don’t need for you

and they said Stef we don’t need for you

and they said Stef we don’t need for you to come in because the man has passed

to come in because the man has passed

to come in because the man has passed away but the woman can’t keep singing

away but the woman can’t keep singing

away but the woman can’t keep singing praises about you she said she really

praises about you she said she really

praises about you she said she really loved your work she wanted you to know

loved your work she wanted you to know

loved your work she wanted you to know that it was the most rest that she had

that it was the most rest that she had

that it was the most rest that she had ever had was when you were there and the

ever had was when you were there and the

ever had was when you were there and the best care that he had ever had which

best care that he had ever had which

best care that he had ever had which included the time in the hospital and

included the time in the hospital and

included the time in the hospital and she gave me a tip which I didn’t get to

she gave me a tip which I didn’t get to

she gave me a tip which I didn’t get to keep but I walked away with a valuable

keep but I walked away with a valuable

keep but I walked away with a valuable piece of insight which was this

piece of insight which was this

piece of insight which was this proximity informs your perspective and

proximity informs your perspective and

proximity informs your perspective and what I mean by that is we were these two

what I mean by that is we were these two

what I mean by that is we were these two desperate people in a highly charged

desperate people in a highly charged

desperate people in a highly charged situation and our social conditioning

situation and our social conditioning

situation and our social conditioning taught us that we should be as far away

taught us that we should be as far away

taught us that we should be as far away from each other as possible but by

from each other as possible but by

from each other as possible but by reluctantly choosing to stay in close

reluctantly choosing to stay in close

reluctantly choosing to stay in close proximity with one another we had the

proximity with one another we had the

proximity with one another we had the opportunity to observe one another

opportunity to observe one another

opportunity to observe one another and those up observations changed our

and those up observations changed our

and those up observations changed our perceptions about ourselves and the

perceptions about ourselves and the

perceptions about ourselves and the world around us and gave us a new

world around us and gave us a new

world around us and gave us a new perspective so whatever your dreams are

perspective so whatever your dreams are

perspective so whatever your dreams are if you want to change the world like I

if you want to change the world like I

if you want to change the world like I wanted to or you you want to change just

wanted to or you you want to change just

wanted to or you you want to change just you’re part of it you have got to

you’re part of it you have got to

you’re part of it you have got to remember this it’s teamwork that makes

remember this it’s teamwork that makes

remember this it’s teamwork that makes the dream work but that dream won’t work

the dream work but that dream won’t work

the dream work but that dream won’t work unless we connect and that connection

unless we connect and that connection

unless we connect and that connection starts by us setting aside what we think

starts by us setting aside what we think

starts by us setting aside what we think we know about each other and start to

we know about each other and start to

we know about each other and start to actually get to know one another thank

actually get to know one another thank

actually get to know one another thank you

you

you [Applause]