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Living brave | Guy Bloom | TEDxGuildford


living brave living brave is a mindset

living brave living brave is a mindset its own methodology it’s an approach

its own methodology it’s an approach

its own methodology it’s an approach it’s a frame of reference for living a

it’s a frame of reference for living a

it’s a frame of reference for living a brave life it’s a way for individuals to

brave life it’s a way for individuals to

brave life it’s a way for individuals to be able to define themselves as living

be able to define themselves as living

be able to define themselves as living brave by being able to say i am living

brave by being able to say i am living

brave by being able to say i am living brave it’s a way for families and teams

brave it’s a way for families and teams

brave it’s a way for families and teams and different cultures and businesses to

and different cultures and businesses to

and different cultures and businesses to be able to say we are living brave it’s

be able to say we are living brave it’s

be able to say we are living brave it’s a way of navigating the complexity that

a way of navigating the complexity that

a way of navigating the complexity that we see in the world and it’s a little

we see in the world and it’s a little

we see in the world and it’s a little bit grand to say it but it is a way I

bit grand to say it but it is a way I

bit grand to say it but it is a way I believe of us being able to do our part

believe of us being able to do our part

believe of us being able to do our part in saving the world because we are the

in saving the world because we are the

in saving the world because we are the jigsaw pieces and we are the component

jigsaw pieces and we are the component

jigsaw pieces and we are the component parts that are the experiences that we

parts that are the experiences that we

parts that are the experiences that we have of each other and I believe if we

have of each other and I believe if we

have of each other and I believe if we can frame the world through a lens of

can frame the world through a lens of

can frame the world through a lens of living brave then the world becomes a

living brave then the world becomes a

living brave then the world becomes a better place for it now does the world

better place for it now does the world

better place for it now does the world need saving yes I think it pretty well

need saving yes I think it pretty well

need saving yes I think it pretty well does and at the very least what it

does and at the very least what it

does and at the very least what it requires from us is that help and that

requires from us is that help and that

requires from us is that help and that guidance in doing so so what is the

guidance in doing so so what is the

guidance in doing so so what is the world well the world is a beautiful

world well the world is a beautiful

world well the world is a beautiful place it officers things such as babies

place it officers things such as babies

place it officers things such as babies being born and puppies to fuss and

being born and puppies to fuss and

being born and puppies to fuss and friends that tell us silly jokes and

friends that tell us silly jokes and

friends that tell us silly jokes and even rude ones that we can’t then tell

even rude ones that we can’t then tell

even rude ones that we can’t then tell anybody else and sunsets that we can see

anybody else and sunsets that we can see

anybody else and sunsets that we can see and right now I’ve been watching a cat

and right now I’ve been watching a cat

and right now I’ve been watching a cat that the owner has dressed up as a shark

that the owner has dressed up as a shark

that the owner has dressed up as a shark that they have an electronic vacuum

that they have an electronic vacuum

that they have an electronic vacuum cleaner going round a kitchen which

cleaner going round a kitchen which

cleaner going round a kitchen which seems to serve no purpose whatsoever

seems to serve no purpose whatsoever

seems to serve no purpose whatsoever it’s got 12 million hits I might be 2

it’s got 12 million hits I might be 2

it’s got 12 million hits I might be 2 million of them and every time I watch

million of them and every time I watch

million of them and every time I watch it it just reminds me that the world is

it it just reminds me that the world is

it it just reminds me that the world is a beautiful crazy place but the world is

a beautiful crazy place but the world is

a beautiful crazy place but the world is also a complex place it’s a difficult

also a complex place it’s a difficult

also a complex place it’s a difficult place it’s a dark place in many ways we

place it’s a dark place in many ways we

place it’s a dark place in many ways we have illness and we have disease we have

have illness and we have disease we have

have illness and we have disease we have bullying we have abuse we have wars we

bullying we have abuse we have wars we

bullying we have abuse we have wars we have the things that say even though the

have the things that say even though the

have the things that say even though the world is beautiful it is also at

world is beautiful it is also at

world is beautiful it is also at sometimes quite beastly and as human

sometimes quite beastly and as human

sometimes quite beastly and as human beings what we’re trying to do is to

beings what we’re trying to do is to

beings what we’re trying to do is to find our path in the world what we’re

find our path in the world what we’re

find our path in the world what we’re trying to do is navigate to who it is

trying to do is navigate to who it is

trying to do is navigate to who it is that we’re trying to be and what it is

that we’re trying to be and what it is

that we’re trying to be and what it is that we want to become and if that’s not

that we want to become and if that’s not

that we want to become and if that’s not enough we have to do it while the world

enough we have to do it while the world

enough we have to do it while the world presents us with the beautiful things

presents us with the beautiful things

presents us with the beautiful things and the beastly things so how does the

and the beastly things so how does the

and the beastly things so how does the world feel right now

world feel right now

world feel right now well better than it’s ever been

well better than it’s ever been

well better than it’s ever been historically and statistically the world

historically and statistically the world

historically and statistically the world has never been so good we have life

has never been so good we have life

has never been so good we have life expectancy longer than it’s ever been

expectancy longer than it’s ever been

expectancy longer than it’s ever been before we have less deaths less Wars

before we have less deaths less Wars

before we have less deaths less Wars less disease and with that comes a kind

less disease and with that comes a kind

less disease and with that comes a kind of a question as to why we have a

of a question as to why we have a

of a question as to why we have a situation where actually what it feels

situation where actually what it feels

situation where actually what it feels like is that there’s more doubt there’s

like is that there’s more doubt there’s

like is that there’s more doubt there’s more anxiety there’s more fear for a lot

more anxiety there’s more fear for a lot

more anxiety there’s more fear for a lot of people in the world where does that

of people in the world where does that

of people in the world where does that come from I’m a firm believer that it’s

come from I’m a firm believer that it’s

come from I’m a firm believer that it’s the digital age that it’s the

the digital age that it’s the

the digital age that it’s the Information Age that we’re living in

Information Age that we’re living in

Information Age that we’re living in that is having that impact for me if you

that is having that impact for me if you

that is having that impact for me if you can think back to when if the Vikings

can think back to when if the Vikings

can think back to when if the Vikings invaded they would have come in they

invaded they would have come in they

invaded they would have come in they would have destroyed a village burned it

would have destroyed a village burned it

would have destroyed a village burned it to the ground stolen everything but

to the ground stolen everything but

to the ground stolen everything but you’ve got to hear about that dependent

you’ve got to hear about that dependent

you’ve got to hear about that dependent on your proximity to it it may very well

on your proximity to it it may very well

on your proximity to it it may very well have been that it would have taken hours

have been that it would have taken hours

have been that it would have taken hours days weeks months even years dependent

days weeks months even years dependent

days weeks months even years dependent on where you were in relation to that to

on where you were in relation to that to

on where you were in relation to that to find out but now of course what happens

find out but now of course what happens

find out but now of course what happens is straight through to your smartphone

is straight through to your smartphone

is straight through to your smartphone there is now no sacred space for you to

there is now no sacred space for you to

there is now no sacred space for you to be safe so you can regenerate you’re in

be safe so you can regenerate you’re in

be safe so you can regenerate you’re in your bed before you go to sleep you’re

your bed before you go to sleep you’re

your bed before you go to sleep you’re having a moment on the loo and there it

having a moment on the loo and there it

having a moment on the loo and there it is straight through onto your mobile

is straight through onto your mobile

is straight through onto your mobile phone it used to be that when work

phone it used to be that when work

phone it used to be that when work wanted to make contact with you they had

wanted to make contact with you they had

wanted to make contact with you they had to wait for you to go back to work but

to wait for you to go back to work but

to wait for you to go back to work but now of course you don’t get that it’s

now of course you don’t get that it’s

now of course you don’t get that it’s straight through onto your smartphone

straight through onto your smartphone

straight through onto your smartphone and not only is it about the proximity

and not only is it about the proximity

and not only is it about the proximity it’s about the abundance it’s about the

it’s about the abundance it’s about the

it’s about the abundance it’s about the amount it’s about the acceleration of it

amount it’s about the acceleration of it

amount it’s about the acceleration of it from 1980 to 2008 there’s been a 350

from 1980 to 2008 there’s been a 350

from 1980 to 2008 there’s been a 350 percent increase in the amount of

percent increase in the amount of

percent increase in the amount of information that we take onboard we now

information that we take onboard we now

information that we take onboard we now each day take on board on average 34

each day take on board on average 34

each day take on board on average 34 gigabytes of data that’s the equivalent

gigabytes of data that’s the equivalent

gigabytes of data that’s the equivalent of 22 feature films plus a hundred

of 22 feature films plus a hundred

of 22 feature films plus a hundred thousand words as we come into contact

thousand words as we come into contact

thousand words as we come into contact with other people and that has had in my

with other people and that has had in my

with other people and that has had in my mind a huge impact on our relationship

mind a huge impact on our relationship

mind a huge impact on our relationship with the world I liken it to cows

with the world I liken it to cows

with the world I liken it to cows strangely enough which is that 10,000

strangely enough which is that 10,000

strangely enough which is that 10,000 years ago we demystified

years ago we demystified

years ago we demystified the cat and we did that so we could have

the cat and we did that so we could have

the cat and we did that so we could have milk now actually 75 percent of the

milk now actually 75 percent of the

milk now actually 75 percent of the population in the world is lactose

population in the world is lactose

population in the world is lactose so that stomach cramps bloating nausea

so that stomach cramps bloating nausea

so that stomach cramps bloating nausea diarrhea all those lovely things that we

diarrhea all those lovely things that we

diarrhea all those lovely things that we get with lactose intolerance so you

get with lactose intolerance so you

get with lactose intolerance so you would have thought that what we would

would have thought that what we would

would have thought that what we would have done is recalibrated our

have done is recalibrated our

have done is recalibrated our relationship with milk and we’ve had

relationship with milk and we’ve had

relationship with milk and we’ve had 10,000 years to do it and we haven’t

10,000 years to do it and we haven’t

10,000 years to do it and we haven’t done that now in terms of the digital

done that now in terms of the digital

done that now in terms of the digital age and the Information Age we haven’t

age and the Information Age we haven’t

age and the Information Age we haven’t had 10,000 years if you take that as a

had 10,000 years if you take that as a

had 10,000 years if you take that as a metaphor for how we’ve domestic move

metaphor for how we’ve domestic move

metaphor for how we’ve domestic move domestic we’ve only had about 30 years

domestic we’ve only had about 30 years

domestic we’ve only had about 30 years the really since the 1990s when the

the really since the 1990s when the

the really since the 1990s when the internet really came into full flow and

internet really came into full flow and

internet really came into full flow and this has had a huge impact I believe on

this has had a huge impact I believe on

this has had a huge impact I believe on politicians who speak to us in sound

politicians who speak to us in sound

politicians who speak to us in sound bytes because they don’t believe that we

bytes because they don’t believe that we

bytes because they don’t believe that we can take the long-form message we have

can take the long-form message we have

can take the long-form message we have business leaders who are forcing a set

business leaders who are forcing a set

business leaders who are forcing a set of actions and activities from the

of actions and activities from the

of actions and activities from the workforce to move faster because of

workforce to move faster because of

workforce to move faster because of their own fear of innovation and what

their own fear of innovation and what

their own fear of innovation and what the next challenge to their business

the next challenge to their business

the next challenge to their business model will be and that’s demoing a

model will be and that’s demoing a

model will be and that’s demoing a direct impact on workforces and the

direct impact on workforces and the

direct impact on workforces and the media is feeding us a 24-hour stream of

media is feeding us a 24-hour stream of

media is feeding us a 24-hour stream of data it is predominantly in the negative

data it is predominantly in the negative

data it is predominantly in the negative but it’s now more important to be first

but it’s now more important to be first

but it’s now more important to be first than it is to be right and this is

than it is to be right and this is

than it is to be right and this is impacting on us as humans and as a

impacting on us as humans and as a

impacting on us as humans and as a society and the impact is quite obvious

society and the impact is quite obvious

society and the impact is quite obvious we have 14 million days work days lost

we have 14 million days work days lost

we have 14 million days work days lost to stress in the UK each year in the

to stress in the UK each year in the

to stress in the UK each year in the u.s. we have 40% of the workforce not

u.s. we have 40% of the workforce not

u.s. we have 40% of the workforce not taking their full holiday entitlement

taking their full holiday entitlement

taking their full holiday entitlement because the fear of what will happen if

because the fear of what will happen if

because the fear of what will happen if they’re away from the work space in

they’re away from the work space in

they’re away from the work space in terms of fairness we have 50% of

terms of fairness we have 50% of

terms of fairness we have 50% of household wealth sitting with 1% of the

household wealth sitting with 1% of the

household wealth sitting with 1% of the population and in terms of trust the

population and in terms of trust the

population and in terms of trust the Edelman Trust Barometer this year says

Edelman Trust Barometer this year says

Edelman Trust Barometer this year says the trust is at an all-time low

the trust is at an all-time low

the trust is at an all-time low globally against four major indicators

globally against four major indicators

globally against four major indicators so that’s government that’s business

so that’s government that’s business

so that’s government that’s business that’s not for profit and the media so

that’s not for profit and the media so

that’s not for profit and the media so that means that the lowest amount of

that means that the lowest amount of

that means that the lowest amount of trust in the recorded history of that

trust in the recorded history of that

trust in the recorded history of that document is that we don’t trust our

document is that we don’t trust our

document is that we don’t trust our politicians we don’t trust our leaders

politicians we don’t trust our leaders

politicians we don’t trust our leaders we don’t trust our news and we don’t

we don’t trust our news and we don’t

we don’t trust our news and we don’t even trust the charity

even trust the charity

even trust the charity so what does that mean to us well the

so what does that mean to us well the

so what does that mean to us well the story for me of living brave means that

story for me of living brave means that

story for me of living brave means that living brave has to operate for us as

living brave has to operate for us as

living brave has to operate for us as individuals for families for teams for

individuals for families for teams for

individuals for families for teams for businesses in that platform it’s always

businesses in that platform it’s always

businesses in that platform it’s always been complex but now it’s just such an

been complex but now it’s just such an

been complex but now it’s just such an accelerated rate but if we don’t have a

accelerated rate but if we don’t have a

accelerated rate but if we don’t have a way of directly pushing back on the

way of directly pushing back on the

way of directly pushing back on the pressure of the world it starts to

pressure of the world it starts to

pressure of the world it starts to dictate to us the way things are as

dictate to us the way things are as

dictate to us the way things are as opposed to us dictating to the world now

opposed to us dictating to the world now

opposed to us dictating to the world now my story for living brave started to be

my story for living brave started to be

my story for living brave started to be with the catalyst for meters of speaking

with the catalyst for meters of speaking

with the catalyst for meters of speaking to you now my father was married four

to you now my father was married four

to you now my father was married four times and my mother was married three

times and my mother was married three

times and my mother was married three times

times

times my father’s fourth wife was the mistress

my father’s fourth wife was the mistress

my father’s fourth wife was the mistress he had with his second wife so you can

he had with his second wife so you can

he had with his second wife so you can see no trust issues or relationship

see no trust issues or relationship

see no trust issues or relationship issues for me in any way I once came

issues for me in any way I once came

issues for me in any way I once came home to find that out of a set of three

home to find that out of a set of three

home to find that out of a set of three bedrooms my bedroom had being moved from

bedrooms my bedroom had being moved from

bedrooms my bedroom had being moved from the end into the middle bedroom and my

the end into the middle bedroom and my

the end into the middle bedroom and my father now was with his partner in the

father now was with his partner in the

father now was with his partner in the one end room and my mother was in the

one end room and my mother was in the

one end room and my mother was in the other bedroom with her new partner again

other bedroom with her new partner again

other bedroom with her new partner again no damage done to me in any way at all

no damage done to me in any way at all

no damage done to me in any way at all because of that I’m having a slight

because of that I’m having a slight

because of that I’m having a slight flashback now just thinking about it

flashback now just thinking about it

flashback now just thinking about it getting slightly warm one day I came

getting slightly warm one day I came

getting slightly warm one day I came home from school and found unfortunately

home from school and found unfortunately

home from school and found unfortunately I found that my mother had tried to kill

I found that my mother had tried to kill

I found that my mother had tried to kill herself by taking an overdose and one

herself by taking an overdose and one

herself by taking an overdose and one day my father took me into the garage

day my father took me into the garage

day my father took me into the garage and with a rope with me now I share that

and with a rope with me now I share that

and with a rope with me now I share that knowing that that was my catalyst for

knowing that that was my catalyst for

knowing that that was my catalyst for trying to find what living brave might

trying to find what living brave might

trying to find what living brave might mean to me I know that other people

mean to me I know that other people

mean to me I know that other people would look at that and say guy you had

would look at that and say guy you had

would look at that and say guy you had it really easy I wish I’d have had it

it really easy I wish I’d have had it

it really easy I wish I’d have had it that easy other people may look at it

that easy other people may look at it

that easy other people may look at it and go gosh that was horrific

and go gosh that was horrific

and go gosh that was horrific everybody’s context everybody’s volume

everybody’s context everybody’s volume

everybody’s context everybody’s volume control is on a spectrum and it’s all

control is on a spectrum and it’s all

control is on a spectrum and it’s all set differently for the things and the

set differently for the things and the

set differently for the things and the challenges that will occur to us for me

challenges that will occur to us for me

challenges that will occur to us for me I was directly trying to understand what

I was directly trying to understand what

I was directly trying to understand what was happening to me I felt weak I felt

was happening to me I felt weak I felt

was happening to me I felt weak I felt that I was a coward I was challenging

that I was a coward I was challenging

that I was a coward I was challenging myself to say where is your bravery why

myself to say where is your bravery why

myself to say where is your bravery why aren’t you being brave why don’t you

aren’t you being brave why don’t you

aren’t you being brave why don’t you live bright while in livin’ grave why

live bright while in livin’ grave why

live bright while in livin’ grave why aren’t you living brave what would that

aren’t you living brave what would that

aren’t you living brave what would that look like am i living brave so I found

look like am i living brave so I found

look like am i living brave so I found that vocabulary that mindset that was

that vocabulary that mindset that was

that vocabulary that mindset that was for me about wanting to be somebody that

for me about wanting to be somebody that

for me about wanting to be somebody that would be living brave in life too

would be living brave in life too

would be living brave in life too to hate myself for an emotionally

to hate myself for an emotionally

to hate myself for an emotionally damaging situation and I was able to do

damaging situation and I was able to do

damaging situation and I was able to do that but I didn’t have the parts of the

that but I didn’t have the parts of the

that but I didn’t have the parts of the mechanic that meant I could go and help

mechanic that meant I could go and help

mechanic that meant I could go and help others and it always stuck with me as

others and it always stuck with me as

others and it always stuck with me as something I wanted to achieve I wanted

something I wanted to achieve I wanted

something I wanted to achieve I wanted to be able to take to other people the

to be able to take to other people the

to be able to take to other people the ability to be living brave because when

ability to be living brave because when

ability to be living brave because when we had that anxiety that doubt that fear

we had that anxiety that doubt that fear

we had that anxiety that doubt that fear that frustration when we feel pressure

that frustration when we feel pressure

that frustration when we feel pressure or threatened in the world then to have

or threatened in the world then to have

or threatened in the world then to have a direct way of approaching that I feel

a direct way of approaching that I feel

a direct way of approaching that I feel can be very powerful we have maybe

can be very powerful we have maybe

can be very powerful we have maybe friends that gossip or a boss who’s a

friends that gossip or a boss who’s a

friends that gossip or a boss who’s a bully or maybe we have a sense of our

bully or maybe we have a sense of our

bully or maybe we have a sense of our own doubt around whether or not we’re

own doubt around whether or not we’re

own doubt around whether or not we’re attractive enough or intelligent enough

attractive enough or intelligent enough

attractive enough or intelligent enough or capable enough to do a TED talk or

or capable enough to do a TED talk or

or capable enough to do a TED talk or something along those lines or maybe the

something along those lines or maybe the

something along those lines or maybe the world just feels a little bit heavy and

world just feels a little bit heavy and

world just feels a little bit heavy and we feel it in ourselves or we see it in

we feel it in ourselves or we see it in

we feel it in ourselves or we see it in others so the component parts for me was

others so the component parts for me was

others so the component parts for me was what I was looking for so I would think

what I was looking for so I would think

what I was looking for so I would think about people like Claudette Colvin who

about people like Claudette Colvin who

about people like Claudette Colvin who as a black 15 year old girl on a bus in

as a black 15 year old girl on a bus in

as a black 15 year old girl on a bus in Montgomery Alabama in 1955 the law was

Montgomery Alabama in 1955 the law was

Montgomery Alabama in 1955 the law was that if a white person wanted the seat

that if a white person wanted the seat

that if a white person wanted the seat that she had to give it up and 15 years

that she had to give it up and 15 years

that she had to give it up and 15 years old she said no so I wanted to know

old she said no so I wanted to know

old she said no so I wanted to know where that bravery came from I think

where that bravery came from I think

where that bravery came from I think about Malala you survey at 2012 who was

about Malala you survey at 2012 who was

about Malala you survey at 2012 who was shot in the head by the Taliban because

shot in the head by the Taliban because

shot in the head by the Taliban because as a woman she wanted an education so I

as a woman she wanted an education so I

as a woman she wanted an education so I wanted to understand where did that

wanted to understand where did that

wanted to understand where did that bravery come from and it’s something I

bravery come from and it’s something I

bravery come from and it’s something I couldn’t really I mean understand what

couldn’t really I mean understand what

couldn’t really I mean understand what it was but I didn’t have the parts

it was but I didn’t have the parts

it was but I didn’t have the parts behind it and then one day rather secure

behind it and then one day rather secure

behind it and then one day rather secure Cicely I was in a car park and came

Cicely I was in a car park and came

Cicely I was in a car park and came across a gentleman called James I didn’t

across a gentleman called James I didn’t

across a gentleman called James I didn’t know his name at the time but we’d

know his name at the time but we’d

know his name at the time but we’d arrived in the car park at the same time

arrived in the car park at the same time

arrived in the car park at the same time I was going to visit an office and as I

I was going to visit an office and as I

I was going to visit an office and as I was walking across the carpark and this

was walking across the carpark and this

was walking across the carpark and this gentleman was walking beside me was a

gentleman was walking beside me was a

gentleman was walking beside me was a young man smoking a cigarette back when

young man smoking a cigarette back when

young man smoking a cigarette back when you could and he had the cigarette took

you could and he had the cigarette took

you could and he had the cigarette took his last puff and he flicked it and it

his last puff and he flicked it and it

his last puff and he flicked it and it went onto the floor and I remember to

went onto the floor and I remember to

went onto the floor and I remember to this day James going excuse me fella

this day James going excuse me fella

this day James going excuse me fella would you mind picking that cigarette

would you mind picking that cigarette

would you mind picking that cigarette backed up and popping it in the bin and

backed up and popping it in the bin and

backed up and popping it in the bin and this young guy looked at James and I

this young guy looked at James and I

this young guy looked at James and I think he was making a judgment call as

think he was making a judgment call as

think he was making a judgment call as to how senior he was in the business and

to how senior he was in the business and

to how senior he was in the business and whether or not he should actually pick

whether or not he should actually pick

whether or not he should actually pick it up and put it in the bin but he did

it up and put it in the bin but he did

it up and put it in the bin but he did so made the decision that he was he

so made the decision that he was he

so made the decision that he was he picked it up put it in the bin James

picked it up put it in the bin James

picked it up put it in the bin James went thanks very much we went into

went thanks very much we went into

went thanks very much we went into research

research

research of these offices and I signed the

of these offices and I signed the

of these offices and I signed the visitors book and I was expecting James

visitors book and I was expecting James

visitors book and I was expecting James to show his passion you know be sent

to show his passion you know be sent

to show his passion you know be sent through because he obviously worked for

through because he obviously worked for

through because he obviously worked for the company and he didn’t and I was

the company and he didn’t and I was

the company and he didn’t and I was really surprised he signed the visitors

really surprised he signed the visitors

really surprised he signed the visitors book in fact I was more than surprised I

book in fact I was more than surprised I

book in fact I was more than surprised I was absolutely shocked because this is

was absolutely shocked because this is

was absolutely shocked because this is somebody that had just taken issue with

somebody that had just taken issue with

somebody that had just taken issue with somebody in a car park in a business he

somebody in a car park in a business he

somebody in a car park in a business he had no span of control in but he

had no span of control in but he

had no span of control in but he obviously felt it was something that he

obviously felt it was something that he

obviously felt it was something that he needed to do and it came to me about

needed to do and it came to me about

needed to do and it came to me about where my personal bravery was because my

where my personal bravery was because my

where my personal bravery was because my personal bravery had been linked back to

personal bravery had been linked back to

personal bravery had been linked back to when I was trying to extricate myself

when I was trying to extricate myself

when I was trying to extricate myself from a very personal situation which I

from a very personal situation which I

from a very personal situation which I had been able to do but my bravery had

had been able to do but my bravery had

had been able to do but my bravery had been very isolated to my personal need

been very isolated to my personal need

been very isolated to my personal need so when I started to think about people

so when I started to think about people

so when I started to think about people like Claudette Colvin and Malloy you

like Claudette Colvin and Malloy you

like Claudette Colvin and Malloy you survey and and James I recognized that

survey and and James I recognized that

survey and and James I recognized that they’re living brave actually sat

they’re living brave actually sat

they’re living brave actually sat outside of their particular need I mean

outside of their particular need I mean

outside of their particular need I mean they had a personal driver that drove

they had a personal driver that drove

they had a personal driver that drove them but it was also about being brave

them but it was also about being brave

them but it was also about being brave in the world which was something that I

in the world which was something that I

in the world which was something that I recognized that mine was very kind of

recognized that mine was very kind of

recognized that mine was very kind of local to me and I have been brave as

local to me and I have been brave as

local to me and I have been brave as I’ve gone through life but quite

I’ve gone through life but quite

I’ve gone through life but quite selfishly for my own need so I was able

selfishly for my own need so I was able

selfishly for my own need so I was able to take some time to have a conversation

to take some time to have a conversation

to take some time to have a conversation with James and he was able to point out

with James and he was able to point out

with James and he was able to point out some of the component parts to me not

some of the component parts to me not

some of the component parts to me not because he had the language I then kinda

because he had the language I then kinda

because he had the language I then kinda had the language to ask the questions

had the language to ask the questions

had the language to ask the questions and I was able to ask him questions that

and I was able to ask him questions that

and I was able to ask him questions that were able to tell me what is it that

were able to tell me what is it that

were able to tell me what is it that made up living brave and what became

made up living brave and what became

made up living brave and what became apparent was first of all I have the

apparent was first of all I have the

apparent was first of all I have the question I already had living brave and

question I already had living brave and

question I already had living brave and wanting to live brave wanting to be

wanting to live brave wanting to be

wanting to live brave wanting to be living brave as a mindset I already had

living brave as a mindset I already had

living brave as a mindset I already had the question which was and it’s

the question which was and it’s

the question which was and it’s something that we can use at any point

something that we can use at any point

something that we can use at any point in our lives when you feel that anxiety

in our lives when you feel that anxiety

in our lives when you feel that anxiety that pressure that threat that may be

that pressure that threat that may be

that pressure that threat that may be upon you which is am i living brave and

upon you which is am i living brave and

upon you which is am i living brave and in speaking to James what I realized was

in speaking to James what I realized was

in speaking to James what I realized was he had a compass bearing he had an

he had a compass bearing he had an

he had a compass bearing he had an absolutely vivid strong representation

absolutely vivid strong representation

absolutely vivid strong representation of where he was trying to go and the

of where he was trying to go and the

of where he was trying to go and the person he wanted to be in the world and

person he wanted to be in the world and

person he wanted to be in the world and I recognized that I’d inadvertently done

I recognized that I’d inadvertently done

I recognized that I’d inadvertently done the same thing I knew what bad was

the same thing I knew what bad was

the same thing I knew what bad was because I was in bad what I wanted to do

because I was in bad what I wanted to do

because I was in bad what I wanted to do was move to a strong representation of

was move to a strong representation of

was move to a strong representation of something that was more

something that was more

something that was more loitering to me emotionally wouldn’t

loitering to me emotionally wouldn’t

loitering to me emotionally wouldn’t damage me so I was looking for that add

damage me so I was looking for that add

damage me so I was looking for that add a strong compass bearing and of course

a strong compass bearing and of course

a strong compass bearing and of course when I reflected on people like

when I reflected on people like

when I reflected on people like Claudette Colvin you reflect on people

Claudette Colvin you reflect on people

Claudette Colvin you reflect on people like the Marley you survey they had a

like the Marley you survey they had a

like the Marley you survey they had a strong sense of wanting that personal

strong sense of wanting that personal

strong sense of wanting that personal bravery so they could apply and move

bravery so they could apply and move

bravery so they could apply and move towards a strong vision so having that

towards a strong vision so having that

towards a strong vision so having that compass

compass

compass what does good look like James also was

what does good look like James also was

what does good look like James also was accountable that was absolutely clear in

accountable that was absolutely clear in

accountable that was absolutely clear in conversation with him he put no

conversation with him he put no

conversation with him he put no responsibility on to somebody else even

responsibility on to somebody else even

responsibility on to somebody else even if the responsibility actually should be

if the responsibility actually should be

if the responsibility actually should be with somebody else he recognized that he

with somebody else he recognized that he

with somebody else he recognized that he had to be the person that did it and I

had to be the person that did it and I

had to be the person that did it and I was able to make that link back to my

was able to make that link back to my

was able to make that link back to my life and recognize that I’d been

life and recognize that I’d been

life and recognize that I’d been accountable even though somebody else

accountable even though somebody else

accountable even though somebody else maybe because of the age I was should

maybe because of the age I was should

maybe because of the age I was should have been being responsible for me in

have been being responsible for me in

have been being responsible for me in different ways I take him accountability

different ways I take him accountability

different ways I take him accountability to extract myself from a situation so

to extract myself from a situation so

to extract myself from a situation so it’s about having that compass bearing

it’s about having that compass bearing

it’s about having that compass bearing it was about being accountable I also

it was about being accountable I also

it was about being accountable I also could see that James was present he

could see that James was present he

could see that James was present he didn’t defer to a later time he wasn’t

didn’t defer to a later time he wasn’t

didn’t defer to a later time he wasn’t bewitched by an agenda of getting to a

bewitched by an agenda of getting to a

bewitched by an agenda of getting to a meeting or going to meet somebody else

meeting or going to meet somebody else

meeting or going to meet somebody else or whatever it is that he had he

or whatever it is that he had he

or whatever it is that he had he recognized for him to be able to

recognized for him to be able to

recognized for him to be able to defining himself as a living brave when

defining himself as a living brave when

defining himself as a living brave when something happened in front of him that

something happened in front of him that

something happened in front of him that he wanted to apply his thinking to and

he wanted to apply his thinking to and

he wanted to apply his thinking to and his perspective to it had to be done in

his perspective to it had to be done in

his perspective to it had to be done in the moment and of course that was

the moment and of course that was

the moment and of course that was exactly the same for me he couldn’t wait

exactly the same for me he couldn’t wait

exactly the same for me he couldn’t wait years he couldn’t wait months it had to

years he couldn’t wait months it had to

years he couldn’t wait months it had to be something that happened in the

be something that happened in the

be something that happened in the present or as near to it as was possible

present or as near to it as was possible

present or as near to it as was possible and also James was fully willing to be

and also James was fully willing to be

and also James was fully willing to be somebody who would contribute and that

somebody who would contribute and that

somebody who would contribute and that was absolutely key he recognized that he

was absolutely key he recognized that he

was absolutely key he recognized that he was the catalyst he was the action and

was the catalyst he was the action and

was the catalyst he was the action and he would be the power behind it so he

he would be the power behind it so he

he would be the power behind it so he had to be the one who was willing to

had to be the one who was willing to

had to be the one who was willing to contribute and again I recognized within

contribute and again I recognized within

contribute and again I recognized within myself that that was exactly the same

myself that that was exactly the same

myself that that was exactly the same thing nobody would come and save me

thing nobody would come and save me

thing nobody would come and save me there was no white knight to come and

there was no white knight to come and

there was no white knight to come and take me away I had to be the

take me away I had to be the

take me away I had to be the contributing force to make the changes

contributing force to make the changes

contributing force to make the changes that I wanted to make so for me why now

that I wanted to make so for me why now

that I wanted to make so for me why now had was a clear sense of what it is that

had was a clear sense of what it is that

had was a clear sense of what it is that it might be for us as individuals as

it might be for us as individuals as

it might be for us as individuals as families as

families as

families as zaz work environments to be able to say

zaz work environments to be able to say

zaz work environments to be able to say do we want to operate with a mindset

do we want to operate with a mindset

do we want to operate with a mindset that he’s living brave if we are then

that he’s living brave if we are then

that he’s living brave if we are then when things are not going in our way and

when things are not going in our way and

when things are not going in our way and we find that we have those tensions that

we find that we have those tensions that

we find that we have those tensions that we want to challenge ourselves again if

we want to challenge ourselves again if

we want to challenge ourselves again if you want to be able to say am i living

you want to be able to say am i living

you want to be able to say am i living brave and the answer to be yes you need

brave and the answer to be yes you need

brave and the answer to be yes you need to have a clear compass bearing you need

to have a clear compass bearing you need

to have a clear compass bearing you need to have absolutely the commitment to

to have absolutely the commitment to

to have absolutely the commitment to being accountable you have to be

being accountable you have to be

being accountable you have to be absolutely present with the moment that

absolutely present with the moment that

absolutely present with the moment that you’re in and not defer it and be

you’re in and not defer it and be

you’re in and not defer it and be willing to be the person that is

willing to be the person that is

willing to be the person that is actually going to do the contribution if

actually going to do the contribution if

actually going to do the contribution if you can say yes to those things even if

you can say yes to those things even if

you can say yes to those things even if you’re not getting what you want you are

you’re not getting what you want you are

you’re not getting what you want you are living brave because living brave isn’t

living brave because living brave isn’t

living brave because living brave isn’t about it going your way

about it going your way

about it going your way living brave is about defining yourself

living brave is about defining yourself

living brave is about defining yourself as a living brave well what happens to

as a living brave well what happens to

as a living brave well what happens to happens to you and that’s absolutely key

happens to you and that’s absolutely key

happens to you and that’s absolutely key for you if you’re not doing any one of

for you if you’re not doing any one of

for you if you’re not doing any one of those things then you need to make the

those things then you need to make the

those things then you need to make the adjustment towards it to be able to

adjustment towards it to be able to

adjustment towards it to be able to define yourself as being able to do that

define yourself as being able to do that

define yourself as being able to do that and to maybe help or guide others to do

and to maybe help or guide others to do

and to maybe help or guide others to do the same so for me what I hope is it’s

the same so for me what I hope is it’s

the same so for me what I hope is it’s an offering for you to be able to take

an offering for you to be able to take

an offering for you to be able to take on a way of thinking about living brave

on a way of thinking about living brave

on a way of thinking about living brave to maybe ask yourself the questions am i

to maybe ask yourself the questions am i

to maybe ask yourself the questions am i living brave and to be able to have

living brave and to be able to have

living brave and to be able to have those component parts that or maybe work

those component parts that or maybe work

those component parts that or maybe work for you in the future so on that note I

for you in the future so on that note I

for you in the future so on that note I leave you with a question which I’m sure

leave you with a question which I’m sure

leave you with a question which I’m sure you can guess which is am i living brave

you can guess which is am i living brave

you can guess which is am i living brave thank

[Applause]

[Applause] you

”

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