[Music] you
you
you [Music]
ventured on aroma Ford has been paid for
ventured on aroma Ford has been paid for you is no easy feat and that is what
you is no easy feat and that is what
you is no easy feat and that is what becoming a mom long before you’ve ever
becoming a mom long before you’ve ever
becoming a mom long before you’ve ever experienced the normal rites of passage
experienced the normal rites of passage
experienced the normal rites of passage in life feels like I had my first child
in life feels like I had my first child
in life feels like I had my first child at the age of 14 as you can imagine
at the age of 14 as you can imagine
at the age of 14 as you can imagine there’s an incredible amount of pressure
there’s an incredible amount of pressure
there’s an incredible amount of pressure that comes with being responsible for
that comes with being responsible for
that comes with being responsible for another human life at such a young age
another human life at such a young age
another human life at such a young age when you hear this about me do you feel
when you hear this about me do you feel
when you hear this about me do you feel sorry for me what if I told you that
sorry for me what if I told you that
sorry for me what if I told you that becoming a teen mom was the best thing
becoming a teen mom was the best thing
becoming a teen mom was the best thing that ever happened to me now I will also
that ever happened to me now I will also
that ever happened to me now I will also tell you that being the mother of a
tell you that being the mother of a
tell you that being the mother of a teenager is the worst thing let me be
teenager is the worst thing let me be
teenager is the worst thing let me be clear I am NOT an advocate of teen
clear I am NOT an advocate of teen
clear I am NOT an advocate of teen pregnancy however I’ve come to
pregnancy however I’ve come to
pregnancy however I’ve come to understand that we must all grapple with
understand that we must all grapple with
understand that we must all grapple with some kind of struggle in life and the
some kind of struggle in life and the
some kind of struggle in life and the hand that I was dealt at teen pregnancy
hand that I was dealt at teen pregnancy
hand that I was dealt at teen pregnancy written on the cards certainly not
written on the cards certainly not
written on the cards certainly not something that I would have chosen for
something that I would have chosen for
something that I would have chosen for myself and I’m pretty sure when my
myself and I’m pretty sure when my
myself and I’m pretty sure when my parents gave birth to me their hopes and
parents gave birth to me their hopes and
parents gave birth to me their hopes and dreams for me did not include me
dreams for me did not include me
dreams for me did not include me becoming a mom while I was still a baby
becoming a mom while I was still a baby
becoming a mom while I was still a baby myself every diamond that sparkles in
myself every diamond that sparkles in
myself every diamond that sparkles in every ring and crown started life below
every ring and crown started life below
every ring and crown started life below the depths of the earth more than 240
the depths of the earth more than 240
the depths of the earth more than 240 kilometres down at temperatures of 1600
kilometres down at temperatures of 1600
kilometres down at temperatures of 1600 degrees or greater Carbon squeezes into
degrees or greater Carbon squeezes into
degrees or greater Carbon squeezes into coal or graphite which can take up to
coal or graphite which can take up to
coal or graphite which can take up to three billion years to create the
three billion years to create the
three billion years to create the hardest and most valuable of gems the
hardest and most valuable of gems the
hardest and most valuable of gems the pressure required to create diamonds is
pressure required to create diamonds is
pressure required to create diamonds is equivalent to four thousand grown men
equivalent to four thousand grown men
equivalent to four thousand grown men standing on your foot it was that kind
standing on your foot it was that kind
standing on your foot it was that kind of pressure that I experienced as a teen
of pressure that I experienced as a teen
of pressure that I experienced as a teen mom and it completely altered the course
mom and it completely altered the course
mom and it completely altered the course of my life you know there’s something
of my life you know there’s something
of my life you know there’s something very humbling about having stood in a
very humbling about having stood in a
very humbling about having stood in a soup kitchen line or in the West
soup kitchen line or in the West
soup kitchen line or in the West fare mine or in the line at the Gas and
fare mine or in the line at the Gas and
fare mine or in the line at the Gas and Electric Company begging them to keep
Electric Company begging them to keep
Electric Company begging them to keep your lights on because your seasonal job
your lights on because your seasonal job
your lights on because your seasonal job at the local amusement park is just
at the local amusement park is just
at the local amusement park is just enough to buy diapers and pay for your
enough to buy diapers and pay for your
enough to buy diapers and pay for your bus fare all right how about standing in
bus fare all right how about standing in
bus fare all right how about standing in the freezing cold waiting for the bus
the freezing cold waiting for the bus
the freezing cold waiting for the bus with eight bags of groceries that you
with eight bags of groceries that you
with eight bags of groceries that you purchased with your food stamps you’ve
purchased with your food stamps you’ve
purchased with your food stamps you’ve got a crime baby in one arm a stroller
got a crime baby in one arm a stroller
got a crime baby in one arm a stroller in the other a baby bag on one shoulder
in the other a baby bag on one shoulder
in the other a baby bag on one shoulder and a book bag on the other praying that
and a book bag on the other praying that
and a book bag on the other praying that when you get home there’s enough time
when you get home there’s enough time
when you get home there’s enough time left at the end of the day to do some
left at the end of the day to do some
left at the end of the day to do some homework that kind of struggle can
homework that kind of struggle can
homework that kind of struggle can change a person often not in the best
change a person often not in the best
change a person often not in the best ways but for me for me it provided a
ways but for me for me it provided a
ways but for me for me it provided a sense of fight because mostly I wasn’t
sense of fight because mostly I wasn’t
sense of fight because mostly I wasn’t fighting for myself you see I had this
fighting for myself you see I had this
fighting for myself you see I had this beautiful brown eyed creature that would
beautiful brown eyed creature that would
beautiful brown eyed creature that would look to me for his source of strength
look to me for his source of strength
look to me for his source of strength each and every day and on the day that
each and every day and on the day that
each and every day and on the day that could wrestle up even a mustard seed of
could wrestle up even a mustard seed of
could wrestle up even a mustard seed of strength to fight for myself I was
strength to fight for myself I was
strength to fight for myself I was somehow able to access strength the size
somehow able to access strength the size
somehow able to access strength the size of a sea coconut seemed to fight for him
of a sea coconut seemed to fight for him
of a sea coconut seemed to fight for him the beautiful thing about my story is if
the beautiful thing about my story is if
the beautiful thing about my story is if you were to ask my son what it was like
you were to ask my son what it was like
you were to ask my son what it was like being raised by a 14 year old girl he
being raised by a 14 year old girl he
being raised by a 14 year old girl he would probably say he doesn’t know he
would probably say he doesn’t know he
would probably say he doesn’t know he shared with me in a touching letter that
shared with me in a touching letter that
shared with me in a touching letter that he didn’t remember the struggle he
he didn’t remember the struggle he
he didn’t remember the struggle he didn’t know that those high-water pants
didn’t know that those high-water pants
didn’t know that those high-water pants that he was wearing weren’t really was
that he was wearing weren’t really was
that he was wearing weren’t really was stopped and he never felt any hunger
stopped and he never felt any hunger
stopped and he never felt any hunger pains all things that would have
pains all things that would have
pains all things that would have certainly exposed our situation he also
certainly exposed our situation he also
certainly exposed our situation he also shared that it was amazing to know that
shared that it was amazing to know that
shared that it was amazing to know that his mom had been able to accomplish so
his mom had been able to accomplish so
his mom had been able to accomplish so much while being on this life-altering
much while being on this life-altering
much while being on this life-altering journey and that I somehow epitomize for
journey and that I somehow epitomize for
journey and that I somehow epitomize for him the definition of a true hard worker
him the definition of a true hard worker
him the definition of a true hard worker he shared that my example showed him
he shared that my example showed him
he shared that my example showed him that it didn’t matter what your
that it didn’t matter what your
that it didn’t matter what your circumstances were that you could change
circumstances were that you could change
circumstances were that you could change your perspective and ultimately change
your perspective and ultimately change
your perspective and ultimately change your outcome if I took the time to
your outcome if I took the time to
your outcome if I took the time to explain to you all of the wonderful
explain to you all of the wonderful
explain to you all of the wonderful things that
things that
things that with me I’d be standing in a poll by the
with me I’d be standing in a poll by the
with me I’d be standing in a poll by the end of this talk he did say though that
end of this talk he did say though that
end of this talk he did say though that Keane was my biggest fan
Keane was my biggest fan
Keane was my biggest fan and that he was proud of me a girl can
and that he was proud of me a girl can
and that he was proud of me a girl can have a better fan club I thought to
have a better fan club I thought to
have a better fan club I thought to myself what could I say to my son and
myself what could I say to my son and
myself what could I say to my son and response that would summarize our
response that would summarize our
response that would summarize our journey together and if I were to write
journey together and if I were to write
journey together and if I were to write back I would be sure to say son having
back I would be sure to say son having
back I would be sure to say son having to ask for help is not a sign of
to ask for help is not a sign of
to ask for help is not a sign of weakness in fact a shows great strength
weakness in fact a shows great strength
weakness in fact a shows great strength humility and wisdom it builds muscle and
humility and wisdom it builds muscle and
humility and wisdom it builds muscle and character necessary for the journey of
character necessary for the journey of
character necessary for the journey of his and I would also tell him that my 14
his and I would also tell him that my 14
his and I would also tell him that my 14 year old self could not have begun to
year old self could not have begun to
year old self could not have begun to formulate the words to tell him about
formulate the words to tell him about
formulate the words to tell him about all the hopes and dreams that I had for
all the hopes and dreams that I had for
all the hopes and dreams that I had for him how his life was somehow going to be
him how his life was somehow going to be
him how his life was somehow going to be different it would be better at the time
different it would be better at the time
different it would be better at the time I didn’t know what better could look
I didn’t know what better could look
I didn’t know what better could look like but I knew that I would find it for
like but I knew that I would find it for
like but I knew that I would find it for him and in a moment of real transparency
him and in a moment of real transparency
him and in a moment of real transparency I would tell him if I had to go back and
I would tell him if I had to go back and
I would tell him if I had to go back and do it all over again I would choose a
do it all over again I would choose a
do it all over again I would choose a different death I married a wonderful
different death I married a wonderful
different death I married a wonderful man who’s been in his life since he was
man who’s been in his life since he was
man who’s been in his life since he was two years old but there is absolutely
two years old but there is absolutely
two years old but there is absolutely nothing that can take away the hole left
nothing that can take away the hole left
nothing that can take away the hole left in the heart of a child by the absence
in the heart of a child by the absence
in the heart of a child by the absence of a parent I would apologize profusely
of a parent I would apologize profusely
of a parent I would apologize profusely I would encourage my son to take that
I would encourage my son to take that
I would encourage my son to take that pain that is sure to be experiencing
pain that is sure to be experiencing
pain that is sure to be experiencing from that loss and use it to find
from that loss and use it to find
from that loss and use it to find himself to do better and to be better I
himself to do better and to be better I
himself to do better and to be better I would also tell him that he can thank me
would also tell him that he can thank me
would also tell him that he can thank me for his dashing good looks those must
for his dashing good looks those must
for his dashing good looks those must have come from me but mostly I would
have come from me but mostly I would
have come from me but mostly I would just thank him thank him for being my
just thank him thank him for being my
just thank him thank him for being my motivation my inspiration the pressure
motivation my inspiration the pressure
motivation my inspiration the pressure that I needed to become the woman I am
that I needed to become the woman I am
that I needed to become the woman I am today it’s funny my son and I were
today it’s funny my son and I were
today it’s funny my son and I were experiencing the world in totally
experiencing the world in totally
experiencing the world in totally different ways yet existing
different ways yet existing
different ways yet existing same time in history this pressure that
same time in history this pressure that
same time in history this pressure that I’m speaking up certainly taught me to
I’m speaking up certainly taught me to
I’m speaking up certainly taught me to trust my instincts and build grit and
trust my instincts and build grit and
trust my instincts and build grit and character muscle necessary for the
character muscle necessary for the
character muscle necessary for the journey ahead but it is the very same
journey ahead but it is the very same
journey ahead but it is the very same kind of pressure that I’ve spent my
kind of pressure that I’ve spent my
kind of pressure that I’ve spent my entire life shielding my son from
entire life shielding my son from
entire life shielding my son from fortunately there is no incubator big
fortunately there is no incubator big
fortunately there is no incubator big enough to hold a 23 year old man so the
enough to hold a 23 year old man so the
enough to hold a 23 year old man so the pressures of life they will surely come
pressures of life they will surely come
pressures of life they will surely come for him and my hope is that he will see
for him and my hope is that he will see
for him and my hope is that he will see them as an opportunity and as a
them as an opportunity and as a
them as an opportunity and as a privilege and he would grow from them
privilege and he would grow from them
privilege and he would grow from them pressure is this thing that we try to
pressure is this thing that we try to
pressure is this thing that we try to avoid at all costs
avoid at all costs
avoid at all costs yet it can build strength and grit and
yet it can build strength and grit and
yet it can build strength and grit and resiliency and all the things that help
resiliency and all the things that help
resiliency and all the things that help us to discover who we truly are in the
us to discover who we truly are in the
us to discover who we truly are in the face of adversity and though it can be
face of adversity and though it can be
face of adversity and though it can be painful it can help us to become our
painful it can help us to become our
painful it can help us to become our best selves and fulfill our unique
best selves and fulfill our unique
best selves and fulfill our unique purpose on this earth pressure
”
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