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Networking for Introverts | Revant Himatsingka | TEDxTNMC


so I want to ask you which of the two

so I want to ask you which of the two came first the chicken or the egg you

came first the chicken or the egg you

came first the chicken or the egg you know that existed chicken and egg

know that existed chicken and egg

know that existed chicken and egg problem today in relation to jobs and

problem today in relation to jobs and

problem today in relation to jobs and experience you need a job in order to

experience you need a job in order to

experience you need a job in order to get experience and you need experience

get experience and you need experience

get experience and you need experience in order to get a job I’m pretty sure

in order to get a job I’m pretty sure

in order to get a job I’m pretty sure everyone early on in the carriers faces

everyone early on in the carriers faces

everyone early on in the carriers faces this problem like how do you get

this problem like how do you get

this problem like how do you get experience without having any experience

experience without having any experience

experience without having any experience what comes first a job or experience you

what comes first a job or experience you

what comes first a job or experience you know in many cases networking comes

know in many cases networking comes

know in many cases networking comes first I had absolutely no experience in

first I had absolutely no experience in

first I had absolutely no experience in writing two years ago I had not even

writing two years ago I had not even

writing two years ago I had not even written a blog post and I was in The

written a blog post and I was in The

written a blog post and I was in The Wall Street line back then I was

Wall Street line back then I was

Wall Street line back then I was shutting finance in New York and I used

shutting finance in New York and I used

shutting finance in New York and I used to spend most of my time watching comedy

to spend most of my time watching comedy

to spend most of my time watching comedy videos of AIB and reading philosophy

videos of AIB and reading philosophy

videos of AIB and reading philosophy articles written by logical Indian and I

articles written by logical Indian and I

articles written by logical Indian and I ended up writing out of nowhere a comedy

ended up writing out of nowhere a comedy

ended up writing out of nowhere a comedy and philosophy combined book called self

and philosophy combined book called self

and philosophy combined book called self phenomics and I was very passionate

phenomics and I was very passionate

phenomics and I was very passionate about it and I decided to leave my job

about it and I decided to leave my job

about it and I decided to leave my job and I came to India to get it published

and I came to India to get it published

and I came to India to get it published and I realized that in India most things

and I realized that in India most things

and I realized that in India most things work according to not what what you know

work according to not what what you know

work according to not what what you know according to who you know and I had

according to who you know and I had

according to who you know and I had absolutely zero contacts in the

absolutely zero contacts in the

absolutely zero contacts in the publishing industry like most of my

publishing industry like most of my

publishing industry like most of my friends and family they don’t read books

friends and family they don’t read books

friends and family they don’t read books in fact most of my friends and family

in fact most of my friends and family

in fact most of my friends and family they haven’t read a book so I had

they haven’t read a book so I had

they haven’t read a book so I had absolutely zero contacts in the industry

absolutely zero contacts in the industry

absolutely zero contacts in the industry I didn’t know where to begin and what I

I didn’t know where to begin and what I

I didn’t know where to begin and what I did was I just googled like how to

did was I just googled like how to

did was I just googled like how to publish a book in India and all the

publish a book in India and all the

publish a book in India and all the links that came up in on the first page

links that came up in on the first page

links that came up in on the first page second page third page they were all

second page third page they were all

second page third page they were all asking me to pay them the publishers to

asking me to pay them the publishers to

asking me to pay them the publishers to publish my book and interestingly my

publish my book and interestingly my

publish my book and interestingly my book would only be available on Amazon

book would only be available on Amazon

book would only be available on Amazon not in the bookstores but as an author I

not in the bookstores but as an author I

not in the bookstores but as an author I wanted to be paid to write the book and

wanted to be paid to write the book and

wanted to be paid to write the book and I wanted my book to be available in the

I wanted my book to be available in the

I wanted my book to be available in the bookstores so I actually made a trip to

bookstores so I actually made a trip to

bookstores so I actually made a trip to the book stores like crossford Oxford

the book stores like crossford Oxford

the book stores like crossford Oxford stomach and stuff like that and I picked

stomach and stuff like that and I picked

stomach and stuff like that and I picked out over the course of few days I picked

out over the course of few days I picked

out over the course of few days I picked out more than hundred books from the

out more than hundred books from the

out more than hundred books from the nonfiction category and I realized that

nonfiction category and I realized that

nonfiction category and I realized that most authors they always hang

most authors they always hang

most authors they always hang deterrent agents in the acknowledgement

deterrent agents in the acknowledgement

deterrent agents in the acknowledgement section of the book so what I did was I

section of the book so what I did was I

section of the book so what I did was I made a list of all these editors and

made a list of all these editors and

made a list of all these editors and hydrants and notice that the same five

hydrants and notice that the same five

hydrants and notice that the same five to seven agents names kept coming up

to seven agents names kept coming up

to seven agents names kept coming up again and again and again so I send them

again and again and again so I send them

again and again and again so I send them a personalized email saying that you

a personalized email saying that you

a personalized email saying that you know I loved all the books that you’ve

know I loved all the books that you’ve

know I loved all the books that you’ve worked on previously even though I

worked on previously even though I

worked on previously even though I hadn’t read the books I decide the

hadn’t read the books I decide the

hadn’t read the books I decide the acknowledgement section of those books

acknowledgement section of those books

acknowledgement section of those books and since it was a personalized email

and since it was a personalized email

and since it was a personalized email they took me seriously one thing led to

they took me seriously one thing led to

they took me seriously one thing led to the other and eventually I signed up

the other and eventually I signed up

the other and eventually I signed up with Bloomsbury the publishers of Harry

with Bloomsbury the publishers of Harry

with Bloomsbury the publishers of Harry Potter at the age of 23 so this entire

Potter at the age of 23 so this entire

Potter at the age of 23 so this entire networking experience like was very I

networking experience like was very I

networking experience like was very I cannot change my perspective on

cannot change my perspective on

cannot change my perspective on networking and I think some of the

networking and I think some of the

networking and I think some of the learnings which I have I want to share

learnings which I have I want to share

learnings which I have I want to share with you which will be relevant not only

with you which will be relevant not only

with you which will be relevant not only to a professional network but also a

to a professional network but also a

to a professional network but also a personal network you know networking is

personal network you know networking is

personal network you know networking is always associated with connecting with

always associated with connecting with

always associated with connecting with others but I believe networking begins

others but I believe networking begins

others but I believe networking begins with connecting with your own self try

with connecting with your own self try

with connecting with your own self try to understand your own self do you

to understand your own self do you

to understand your own self do you prefer talking about certain topics are

prefer talking about certain topics are

prefer talking about certain topics are you uncomfortable talking about certain

you uncomfortable talking about certain

you uncomfortable talking about certain things

things

things do you prefer texting do you prefer

do you prefer texting do you prefer

do you prefer texting do you prefer emails do you prefer meeting someone

emails do you prefer meeting someone

emails do you prefer meeting someone face-to-face are you an introvert or are

face-to-face are you an introvert or are

face-to-face are you an introvert or are you an extraordinary I’m an introvert I

you an extraordinary I’m an introvert I

you an extraordinary I’m an introvert I hate making small talk like I completely

hate making small talk like I completely

hate making small talk like I completely hit it and I love spending time alone

hit it and I love spending time alone

hit it and I love spending time alone but according to me you don’t have to be

but according to me you don’t have to be

but according to me you don’t have to be a loner in order to be happy alone you

a loner in order to be happy alone you

a loner in order to be happy alone you can be an introvert you can be someone

can be an introvert you can be someone

can be an introvert you can be someone who loves to spend time alone but still

who loves to spend time alone but still

who loves to spend time alone but still have a great Network now you may wonder

have a great Network now you may wonder

have a great Network now you may wonder how can an introvert have a great

how can an introvert have a great

how can an introvert have a great network but before answering that I want

network but before answering that I want

network but before answering that I want to first ask you a couple of questions

to first ask you a couple of questions

to first ask you a couple of questions how many friends do you have think about

how many friends do you have think about

how many friends do you have think about it how many friends do you have and

it how many friends do you have and

it how many friends do you have and secondly how big is your network now

secondly how big is your network now

secondly how big is your network now most people get confused when I talk

most people get confused when I talk

most people get confused when I talk about these two and ask them these two

about these two and ask them these two

about these two and ask them these two questions because I think it’s the same

questions because I think it’s the same

questions because I think it’s the same question being repeated but these are

question being repeated but these are

question being repeated but these are two very different questions and your

two very different questions and your

two very different questions and your answer to them will probably determine

answer to them will probably determine

answer to them will probably determine how strong your network is and whether

how strong your network is and whether

how strong your network is and whether you are whether or not you understand

you are whether or not you understand

you are whether or not you understand networking as a whole

networking as a whole

networking as a whole so we already said I studied almost in

so we already said I studied almost in

so we already said I studied almost in both school as well as college and this

both school as well as college and this

both school as well as college and this is what my network map looked like till

is what my network map looked like till

is what my network map looked like till a couple of years ago so since I was a

a couple of years ago so since I was a

a couple of years ago so since I was a passive introvert most of the friends I

passive introvert most of the friends I

passive introvert most of the friends I made with those who were sitting around

made with those who were sitting around

made with those who were sitting around me and since I was in commerce they

me and since I was in commerce they

me and since I was in commerce they ended up all my friends ended up being

ended up all my friends ended up being

ended up all my friends ended up being in the commerce stream and what happened

in the commerce stream and what happened

in the commerce stream and what happened was that since most of them kind of knew

was that since most of them kind of knew

was that since most of them kind of knew each other and they didn’t have too many

each other and they didn’t have too many

each other and they didn’t have too many friends outside of the stream so even

friends outside of the stream so even

friends outside of the stream so even though I had seven friends my network

though I had seven friends my network

though I had seven friends my network was just limited to those seven people

was just limited to those seven people

was just limited to those seven people since they kind of all knew each other

since they kind of all knew each other

since they kind of all knew each other and I wanted to make more friends so I

and I wanted to make more friends so I

and I wanted to make more friends so I made the mistake which every single

made the mistake which every single

made the mistake which every single person who want begins networking tries

person who want begins networking tries

person who want begins networking tries to make I try to be friends with anyone

to make I try to be friends with anyone

to make I try to be friends with anyone and everyone so I push myself outside my

and everyone so I push myself outside my

and everyone so I push myself outside my comfort zone I made small talk and I

comfort zone I made small talk and I

comfort zone I made small talk and I made five new friends so instead of

made five new friends so instead of

made five new friends so instead of having just seven friends now I had 12

having just seven friends now I had 12

having just seven friends now I had 12 friends but all of them were in the

friends but all of them were in the

friends but all of them were in the commerce stream and they all kind of

commerce stream and they all kind of

commerce stream and they all kind of knew each other so my network was still

knew each other so my network was still

knew each other so my network was still limited to just 12 people so my network

limited to just 12 people so my network

limited to just 12 people so my network was still limited to those people and

was still limited to those people and

was still limited to those people and you know as an introvert it’s very

you know as an introvert it’s very

you know as an introvert it’s very exhaustive to have 12 friends even 12

exhaustive to have 12 friends even 12

exhaustive to have 12 friends even 12 friends is a lot for an introvert you

friends is a lot for an introvert you

friends is a lot for an introvert you have to remember their birthdays you

have to remember their birthdays you

have to remember their birthdays you have to call them up once in a while you

have to call them up once in a while you

have to call them up once in a while you have to meet them every two to three

have to meet them every two to three

have to meet them every two to three weeks this gets annoying to make the

weeks this gets annoying to make the

weeks this gets annoying to make the same conversation again and again and

same conversation again and again and

same conversation again and again and again and at the end of the day you just

again and at the end of the day you just

again and at the end of the day you just your network is limited to 12 people in

your network is limited to 12 people in

your network is limited to 12 people in fact some extroverts also have a twenty

fact some extroverts also have a twenty

fact some extroverts also have a twenty thirty friends but if all of them belong

thirty friends but if all of them belong

thirty friends but if all of them belong to the same social circle the network

to the same social circle the network

to the same social circle the network will still be limited to only twenty to

will still be limited to only twenty to

will still be limited to only twenty to thirty people and this brings me to the

thirty people and this brings me to the

thirty people and this brings me to the wingman theory a wingman is someone who

wingman theory a wingman is someone who

wingman theory a wingman is someone who connects you to a group of people

connects you to a group of people

connects you to a group of people different from who you already know so a

different from who you already know so a

different from who you already know so a wingman is sort of like a broker you

wingman is sort of like a broker you

wingman is sort of like a broker you know in finance you have a broker who

know in finance you have a broker who

know in finance you have a broker who connects a buyer and a seller similarly

connects a buyer and a seller similarly

connects a buyer and a seller similarly a wingman is like a broker who connects

a wingman is like a broker who connects

a wingman is like a broker who connects you to his friends and thereby grows

you to his friends and thereby grows

you to his friends and thereby grows your personal Network and the

your personal Network and the

your personal Network and the key to having a vast network is to have

key to having a vast network is to have

key to having a vast network is to have diverse wingmen so what I did was I

diverse wingmen so what I did was I

diverse wingmen so what I did was I joined a sports team a sports club

joined a sports team a sports club

joined a sports team a sports club I made some I joined a couple of

I made some I joined a couple of

I made some I joined a couple of internships and through that I made

internships and through that I made

internships and through that I made friends outside of the common stream I

friends outside of the common stream I

friends outside of the common stream I made friends in Liberal Arts I made

made friends in Liberal Arts I made

made friends in Liberal Arts I made friends and engineering I made friends

friends and engineering I made friends

friends and engineering I made friends in medical school and I what I did was I

in medical school and I what I did was I

in medical school and I what I did was I cut down on some of the friends I had in

cut down on some of the friends I had in

cut down on some of the friends I had in the Commerce stream cuqui Herick friends

the Commerce stream cuqui Herick friends

the Commerce stream cuqui Herick friends the routine here there and whatever if

the routine here there and whatever if

the routine here there and whatever if you notice majority of my friends are

you notice majority of my friends are

you notice majority of my friends are still in the comma stream so it’s

still in the comma stream so it’s

still in the comma stream so it’s natural for you whatever you’re studying

natural for you whatever you’re studying

natural for you whatever you’re studying or whatever ever you’re working to make

or whatever ever you’re working to make

or whatever ever you’re working to make more friends in that stream so what I

more friends in that stream so what I

more friends in that stream so what I had was I had four friends and comas but

had was I had four friends and comas but

had was I had four friends and comas but I had one friend each in liberal arts

I had one friend each in liberal arts

I had one friend each in liberal arts engineering and medical school and they

engineering and medical school and they

engineering and medical school and they about my big man they connected me to

about my big man they connected me to

about my big man they connected me to their friends who are very different

their friends who are very different

their friends who are very different from me and even though I had much fewer

from me and even though I had much fewer

from me and even though I had much fewer friends I just had seven friends and

friends I just had seven friends and

friends I just had seven friends and earlier in the previous example at 12

earlier in the previous example at 12

earlier in the previous example at 12 friends my network was wider because

friends my network was wider because

friends my network was wider because they were connecting me to their friends

they were connecting me to their friends

they were connecting me to their friends and I had 15 friends so the key to

and I had 15 friends so the key to

and I had 15 friends so the key to having a vast network is to have diverse

having a vast network is to have diverse

having a vast network is to have diverse wingmen instead of just building a

wingmen instead of just building a

wingmen instead of just building a network of those people who are around

network of those people who are around

network of those people who are around you build a networking plan the people

you build a networking plan the people

you build a networking plan the people who are great at networking are not just

who are great at networking are not just

who are great at networking are not just lucky enough to bump into the right

lucky enough to bump into the right

lucky enough to bump into the right people at the right place at the right

people at the right place at the right

people at the right place at the right time they make the proactive measure to

time they make the proactive measure to

time they make the proactive measure to know the right people who are at the

know the right people who are at the

know the right people who are at the right place and on the right time for

right place and on the right time for

right place and on the right time for them instead of just focusing on knowing

them instead of just focusing on knowing

them instead of just focusing on knowing a lot of people focus on knowing the

a lot of people focus on knowing the

a lot of people focus on knowing the right people who can connect you to

right people who can connect you to

right people who can connect you to those who matter you know looks like a

those who matter you know looks like a

those who matter you know looks like a manager delegate some of his

manager delegate some of his

manager delegate some of his responsibilities to his employees or to

responsibilities to his employees or to

responsibilities to his employees or to his subordinates you should delegate

his subordinates you should delegate

his subordinates you should delegate some of your networking responsibilities

some of your networking responsibilities

some of your networking responsibilities to your friends instead of doing it all

to your friends instead of doing it all

to your friends instead of doing it all by ourselves

by ourselves

by ourselves but just to make one thing clear this is

but just to make one thing clear this is

but just to make one thing clear this is an oversimplified version of any network

an oversimplified version of any network

an oversimplified version of any network map in real life there are lot more

map in real life there are lot more

map in real life there are lot more complications and the engineering

complications and the engineering

complications and the engineering department never has so many girls a

department never has so many girls a

department never has so many girls a real-life networking the map looks

real-life networking the map looks

real-life networking the map looks somewhat something like this it’s the

somewhat something like this it’s the

somewhat something like this it’s the lot more overlaps and lot more

lot more overlaps and lot more

lot more overlaps and lot more complexity

complexity

complexity but I just wanted to make it simple but

but I just wanted to make it simple but

but I just wanted to make it simple but now you may wonder why is the big man

now you may wonder why is the big man

now you may wonder why is the big man here is so important because India is a

here is so important because India is a

here is so important because India is a country of 1.2 billion people we are

country of 1.2 billion people we are

country of 1.2 billion people we are thousand plus languages we have with the

thousand plus languages we have with the

thousand plus languages we have with the birthplace of multiple religions India’s

birthplace of multiple religions India’s

birthplace of multiple religions India’s perhaps the most diverse country in the

perhaps the most diverse country in the

perhaps the most diverse country in the planet but for some reason all our

planet but for some reason all our

planet but for some reason all our friends seem to know each other for some

friends seem to know each other for some

friends seem to know each other for some reason our social circles are so

reason our social circles are so

reason our social circles are so interlinked because India even though it

interlinked because India even though it

interlinked because India even though it has 1.2 billion people is still divided

has 1.2 billion people is still divided

has 1.2 billion people is still divided into a million small clusters of

into a million small clusters of

into a million small clusters of homogeneous people we prefer to be

homogeneous people we prefer to be

homogeneous people we prefer to be friends with those who are the same

friends with those who are the same

friends with those who are the same address as those who have the same car

address as those who have the same car

address as those who have the same car same religion those who speak the same

same religion those who speak the same

same religion those who speak the same language as us those who share the same

language as us those who share the same

language as us those who share the same political beliefs those who have the

political beliefs those who have the

political beliefs those who have the same thought process and those who have

same thought process and those who have

same thought process and those who have the same wealth no actually I made a

the same wealth no actually I made a

the same wealth no actually I made a mistake the only place that we make an

mistake the only place that we make an

mistake the only place that we make an exception is that we prefer to be with

exception is that we prefer to be with

exception is that we prefer to be with those who have same or more wealth you

those who have same or more wealth you

those who have same or more wealth you know when I was in school back in

know when I was in school back in

know when I was in school back in Calcutta I noticed that they were

Calcutta I noticed that they were

Calcutta I noticed that they were distinct Marathi and Bengali groups

distinct Marathi and Bengali groups

distinct Marathi and Bengali groups right from the eight-six just imagine

right from the eight-six just imagine

right from the eight-six just imagine the kind of social conditioning that

the kind of social conditioning that

the kind of social conditioning that goes on in our brain that even when we

goes on in our brain that even when we

goes on in our brain that even when we are 6 years old

are 6 years old

are 6 years old we have that divisive mindset that you

we have that divisive mindset that you

we have that divisive mindset that you know this person is different from me so

know this person is different from me so

know this person is different from me so I don’t want to hang it on with a person

I don’t want to hang it on with a person

I don’t want to hang it on with a person and I know the same thing happens in

and I know the same thing happens in

and I know the same thing happens in most other schools and colleges in India

most other schools and colleges in India

most other schools and colleges in India where we try to stick around to those

where we try to stick around to those

where we try to stick around to those who have a similar nature to us you know

who have a similar nature to us you know

who have a similar nature to us you know most every year there are a bunch of

most every year there are a bunch of

most every year there are a bunch of students who go to US and UK for studies

students who go to US and UK for studies

students who go to US and UK for studies and then when they go that you know the

and then when they go that you know the

and then when they go that you know the reason they give is one of the top

reason they give is one of the top

reason they give is one of the top reasons is exposure that they want to go

reasons is exposure that they want to go

reasons is exposure that they want to go to us in UK for exposure and then when

to us in UK for exposure and then when

to us in UK for exposure and then when they go there they just hang around with

they go there they just hang around with

they go there they just hang around with Indians so we have a tendency to just

Indians so we have a tendency to just

Indians so we have a tendency to just hang around with those people who we

hang around with those people who we

hang around with those people who we feel comfortable with we have a 10 our

feel comfortable with we have a 10 our

feel comfortable with we have a 10 our nature is to be friends with those who

nature is to be friends with those who

nature is to be friends with those who share similar nature to us and when

share similar nature to us and when

share similar nature to us and when India is such a diverse country with

India is such a diverse country with

India is such a diverse country with people from different natures I never

people from different natures I never

people from different natures I never understand why we never try to find

understand why we never try to find

understand why we never try to find exposure within our own country you know

exposure within our own country you know

exposure within our own country you know a great man had once said

a great man had once said

a great man had once said and I’m not talking about myself a great

and I’m not talking about myself a great

and I’m not talking about myself a great man had once said become friends with

man had once said become friends with

man had once said become friends with those people who are of a different age

those people who are of a different age

those people who are of a different age from you hang around with those people

from you hang around with those people

from you hang around with those people who have belong to a different social

who have belong to a different social

who have belong to a different social class speak to people who speak a

class speak to people who speak a

class speak to people who speak a different first language this is how you

different first language this is how you

different first language this is how you see the world this is how you grow this

see the world this is how you grow this

see the world this is how you grow this is how you can make your network into

is how you can make your network into

is how you can make your network into your net worth you know in the example I

your net worth you know in the example I

your net worth you know in the example I use here

use here

use here I used college majors as the source of

I used college majors as the source of

I used college majors as the source of filter to categorize my ringman but it

filter to categorize my ringman but it

filter to categorize my ringman but it can be applied in any networking field

can be applied in any networking field

can be applied in any networking field that’s best part about this so this is

that’s best part about this so this is

that’s best part about this so this is how my network looks like when I divide

how my network looks like when I divide

how my network looks like when I divide it according to cities when I divide my

it according to cities when I divide my

it according to cities when I divide my friends according to city then I make a

friends according to city then I make a

friends according to city then I make a proactive measure to try and make more

proactive measure to try and make more

proactive measure to try and make more friends outside of Calcutta so you know

friends outside of Calcutta so you know

friends outside of Calcutta so you know last night I stayed at my friend’s place

last night I stayed at my friend’s place

last night I stayed at my friend’s place and Bombay instead of staying in a hotel

and Bombay instead of staying in a hotel

and Bombay instead of staying in a hotel so the ping machine is already helping

so the ping machine is already helping

so the ping machine is already helping me always save money on the hotel just

me always save money on the hotel just

me always save money on the hotel just because I made an effort to make friends

because I made an effort to make friends

because I made an effort to make friends from the different feel if definitive

from the different feel if definitive

from the different feel if definitive different cities I’ve started now taking

different cities I’ve started now taking

different cities I’ve started now taking the HR department more seriously because

the HR department more seriously because

the HR department more seriously because I understand how much how they can play

I understand how much how they can play

I understand how much how they can play a crucial role in connecting different

a crucial role in connecting different

a crucial role in connecting different departments this is how Harry Potter’s

departments this is how Harry Potter’s

departments this is how Harry Potter’s brief version of a Harry Potter’s

brief version of a Harry Potter’s

brief version of a Harry Potter’s Network map Ron Weasley was the best

Network map Ron Weasley was the best

Network map Ron Weasley was the best wingman in every way the best part about

wingman in every way the best part about

wingman in every way the best part about the wingman theory is how it lays a

the wingman theory is how it lays a

the wingman theory is how it lays a crucial role in our own of personal life

crucial role in our own of personal life

crucial role in our own of personal life in our relationships and our family

in our relationships and our family

in our relationships and our family setting you know when people talk about

setting you know when people talk about

setting you know when people talk about networking it’s always from a courier

networking it’s always from a courier

networking it’s always from a courier angle but what about our relationships

angle but what about our relationships

angle but what about our relationships what about our family I noticed in

what about our family I noticed in

what about our family I noticed in college a lot of people made the mistake

college a lot of people made the mistake

college a lot of people made the mistake of making most of their friends through

of making most of their friends through

of making most of their friends through the girlfriend and boyfriend so when

the girlfriend and boyfriend so when

the girlfriend and boyfriend so when there was a breakup between a girlfriend

there was a breakup between a girlfriend

there was a breakup between a girlfriend and a boyfriend it led to a breakup

and a boyfriend it led to a breakup

and a boyfriend it led to a breakup between the group itself because they

between the group itself because they

between the group itself because they lost all their friends after having a

lost all their friends after having a

lost all their friends after having a breakup and while it’s possible in a

breakup and while it’s possible in a

breakup and while it’s possible in a girlfriend boyfriend still remain

girlfriend boyfriend still remain

girlfriend boyfriend still remain friends with some of their friends after

friends with some of their friends after

friends with some of their friends after a breakup in our marriage setting the

a breakup in our marriage setting the

a breakup in our marriage setting the things get much more complex you know

things get much more complex you know

things get much more complex you know even in the 21st century in India

even in the 21st century in India

even in the 21st century in India especially in towns and villages and

especially in towns and villages and

especially in towns and villages and even

even

even mainstream cities in India lot of women

mainstream cities in India lot of women

mainstream cities in India lot of women are not only financially dependent on

are not only financially dependent on

are not only financially dependent on the husbands but they are also socially

the husbands but they are also socially

the husbands but they are also socially dependent on their husbands and after

dependent on their husbands and after

dependent on their husbands and after marriage they often have a tendency to

marriage they often have a tendency to

marriage they often have a tendency to lose some kind of the connections which

lose some kind of the connections which

lose some kind of the connections which they had from before like some of the

they had from before like some of the

they had from before like some of the extended family or some of the friends

extended family or some of the friends

extended family or some of the friends they admit before and a lot of the

they admit before and a lot of the

they admit before and a lot of the social circle often becomes their

social circle often becomes their

social circle often becomes their husbands relatives or their husbands

husbands relatives or their husbands

husbands relatives or their husbands friends wives their husband becomes like

friends wives their husband becomes like

friends wives their husband becomes like their primary wingman and what happens

their primary wingman and what happens

their primary wingman and what happens is that this puts the women in a very

is that this puts the women in a very

is that this puts the women in a very detrimental position because I believe

detrimental position because I believe

detrimental position because I believe that a network is like a social capital

that a network is like a social capital

that a network is like a social capital and if you are socially dependent on one

and if you are socially dependent on one

and if you are socially dependent on one person and in case you have a divorce

person and in case you have a divorce

person and in case you have a divorce you can become socially bankrupt this is

you can become socially bankrupt this is

you can become socially bankrupt this is why as important as it is to have

why as important as it is to have

why as important as it is to have wingman is equally important not to be

wingman is equally important not to be

wingman is equally important not to be over dependent on any one wingman we

over dependent on any one wingman we

over dependent on any one wingman we should always strive to have diverse

should always strive to have diverse

should always strive to have diverse wingman the goal is always to be

wingman the goal is always to be

wingman the goal is always to be interdependent not over dependent and

interdependent not over dependent and

interdependent not over dependent and not even independent the goal is always

not even independent the goal is always

not even independent the goal is always to be interdependent who are the wingmen

to be interdependent who are the wingmen

to be interdependent who are the wingmen in your life who are the people who

in your life who are the people who

in your life who are the people who typically connect you to new people and

typically connect you to new people and

typically connect you to new people and how can you add more wingman to your

how can you add more wingman to your

how can you add more wingman to your life start focusing on building a

life start focusing on building a

life start focusing on building a network with your relationships and

network with your relationships and

network with your relationships and start building a relationship with your

start building a relationship with your

start building a relationship with your network thank you

”

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