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Changing my life by being vulnerably honest. | Ashley Carmenatty | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege


the mundane things in life that normal

the mundane things in life that normal people take for granted

people take for granted

people take for granted I cannot take for granted for example I

I cannot take for granted for example I

I cannot take for granted for example I am very terrified of elevators and

am very terrified of elevators and

am very terrified of elevators and normal people you know the ones who

normal people you know the ones who

normal people you know the ones who don’t have him until on this wouldn’t

don’t have him until on this wouldn’t

don’t have him until on this wouldn’t give that a second thought right but me

give that a second thought right but me

give that a second thought right but me I have to navigate my whole day around

I have to navigate my whole day around

I have to navigate my whole day around that so if I do have to take an elevator

that so if I do have to take an elevator

that so if I do have to take an elevator I either have to prepare to have an

I either have to prepare to have an

I either have to prepare to have an anxiety attack in front of strangers or

anxiety attack in front of strangers or

anxiety attack in front of strangers or be able to handle the physical symptoms

be able to handle the physical symptoms

be able to handle the physical symptoms that come along with my anxiety attacks

that come along with my anxiety attacks

that come along with my anxiety attacks such as shaking hands shortness of

such as shaking hands shortness of

such as shaking hands shortness of breath

breath

breath my stomach gets really tight and my

my stomach gets really tight and my

my stomach gets really tight and my thoughts become extremely irrational and

thoughts become extremely irrational and

thoughts become extremely irrational and I can’t think properly so I have to

I can’t think properly so I have to

I can’t think properly so I have to navigate my life as much as possible

navigate my life as much as possible

navigate my life as much as possible while dealing with the things that give

while dealing with the things that give

while dealing with the things that give me extreme anxiety if I could I would

me extreme anxiety if I could I would

me extreme anxiety if I could I would avoid elevators and take the stairs it’s

avoid elevators and take the stairs it’s

avoid elevators and take the stairs it’s I’m not trying to lose weight I’m trying

I’m not trying to lose weight I’m trying

I’m not trying to lose weight I’m trying to avoid something that will give me

to avoid something that will give me

to avoid something that will give me extreme anxiety I’ve had anxiety for all

extreme anxiety I’ve had anxiety for all

extreme anxiety I’ve had anxiety for all my life I don’t remember a time period

my life I don’t remember a time period

my life I don’t remember a time period without it but growing up in my teenage

without it but growing up in my teenage

without it but growing up in my teenage years my anxiety was so bad I had a lot

years my anxiety was so bad I had a lot

years my anxiety was so bad I had a lot of insomnia my irrational fears really

of insomnia my irrational fears really

of insomnia my irrational fears really made it difficult for me to you know

made it difficult for me to you know

made it difficult for me to you know live a normal life but what I tried to

live a normal life but what I tried to

live a normal life but what I tried to do was I tried to keep my mind active

do was I tried to keep my mind active

do was I tried to keep my mind active and busy so I wouldn’t think about

and busy so I wouldn’t think about

and busy so I wouldn’t think about having a mental illness and in high

having a mental illness and in high

having a mental illness and in high school I joined sports I played an

school I joined sports I played an

school I joined sports I played an instrument called the oboe which if you

instrument called the oboe which if you

instrument called the oboe which if you play it the wrong way it sounds like a

play it the wrong way it sounds like a

play it the wrong way it sounds like a dying duck and I was in a lot of active

dying duck and I was in a lot of active

dying duck and I was in a lot of active school activities and I even had a lot

school activities and I even had a lot

school activities and I even had a lot of boyfriends so it definitely looked

of boyfriends so it definitely looked

of boyfriends so it definitely looked like on the outside that I was a normal

like on the outside that I was a normal

like on the outside that I was a normal teenager but in

teenager but in

teenager but in when I would come back home or even have

when I would come back home or even have

when I would come back home or even have a moment to myself

a moment to myself

a moment to myself Mike’s anxious thoughts my irrational

Mike’s anxious thoughts my irrational

Mike’s anxious thoughts my irrational fears would come back and remind me that

fears would come back and remind me that

fears would come back and remind me that I wasn’t a normal teenager and of course

I wasn’t a normal teenager and of course

I wasn’t a normal teenager and of course you know no one really knew what I had I

you know no one really knew what I had I

you know no one really knew what I had I didn’t even know what I was going

didn’t even know what I was going

didn’t even know what I was going through nor did my family and it was

through nor did my family and it was

through nor did my family and it was basically basically put aside as just

basically basically put aside as just

basically basically put aside as just teenage hormones so of course you know

teenage hormones so of course you know

teenage hormones so of course you know being a teenager as bad as it is but you

being a teenager as bad as it is but you

being a teenager as bad as it is but you know also dealing with my mental illness

know also dealing with my mental illness

know also dealing with my mental illness and having it having my mental illness

and having it having my mental illness

and having it having my mental illness piece because I was a teenager really

piece because I was a teenager really

piece because I was a teenager really you know affected me greatly I started

you know affected me greatly I started

you know affected me greatly I started to sell flows who I was because I

to sell flows who I was because I

to sell flows who I was because I couldn’t understand my mind I didn’t

couldn’t understand my mind I didn’t

couldn’t understand my mind I didn’t understand the way it was working and

understand the way it was working and

understand the way it was working and why I was so afraid of things that I

why I was so afraid of things that I

why I was so afraid of things that I knew was ridiculous would be afraid of

knew was ridiculous would be afraid of

knew was ridiculous would be afraid of but I was and I started to hate people I

but I was and I started to hate people I

but I was and I started to hate people I really did I hated myself I hated

really did I hated myself I hated

really did I hated myself I hated looking at people who were happy and I

looking at people who were happy and I

looking at people who were happy and I really just wanted to be a normal

really just wanted to be a normal

really just wanted to be a normal teenager so one day I just wrote in my

teenager so one day I just wrote in my

teenager so one day I just wrote in my symptoms on the internet and I found

symptoms on the internet and I found

symptoms on the internet and I found many articles on anxiety disorders and I

many articles on anxiety disorders and I

many articles on anxiety disorders and I found comfort and the courage to go see

found comfort and the courage to go see

found comfort and the courage to go see a doctor at the age of 18 I was

a doctor at the age of 18 I was

a doctor at the age of 18 I was clinically diagnosed with generalized

clinically diagnosed with generalized

clinically diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and I thought that was

anxiety disorder and I thought that was

anxiety disorder and I thought that was it I thought I was going to be healed

it I thought I was going to be healed

it I thought I was going to be healed and I would be a normal human being for

and I would be a normal human being for

and I would be a normal human being for a while during college I definitely you

a while during college I definitely you

a while during college I definitely you know lived normally and I thought my

know lived normally and I thought my

know lived normally and I thought my anxiety was gone but when I graduated

anxiety was gone but when I graduated

anxiety was gone but when I graduated from college I found myself in a lot of

from college I found myself in a lot of

from college I found myself in a lot of debt and unemployed and it definitely

debt and unemployed and it definitely

debt and unemployed and it definitely brought a lot of that negative emotions

brought a lot of that negative emotions

brought a lot of that negative emotions back for me it made me extremely afraid

back for me it made me extremely afraid

back for me it made me extremely afraid to leave the house it made me look in

to leave the house it made me look in

to leave the house it made me look in the mirror and not see who I was and

the mirror and not see who I was and

the mirror and not see who I was and hate who I was and yeah it just it was

hate who I was and yeah it just it was

hate who I was and yeah it just it was really difficult for me so I found

really difficult for me so I found

really difficult for me so I found 9:00 at 3:00 a.m. I was laying on the

9:00 at 3:00 a.m. I was laying on the

9:00 at 3:00 a.m. I was laying on the floor looking at the ceiling wondering

floor looking at the ceiling wondering

floor looking at the ceiling wondering why I couldn’t fit in to this world why

why I couldn’t fit in to this world why

why I couldn’t fit in to this world why was this world so cruel to me because I

was this world so cruel to me because I

was this world so cruel to me because I was so vulnerable and so different and I

was so vulnerable and so different and I

was so vulnerable and so different and I realized that the only way I was going

realized that the only way I was going

realized that the only way I was going to change was if I looked at myself

to change was if I looked at myself

to change was if I looked at myself differently if I talked to myself better

differently if I talked to myself better

differently if I talked to myself better rather than hating who I was I wanted to

rather than hating who I was I wanted to

rather than hating who I was I wanted to change the way I viewed myself and I

change the way I viewed myself and I

change the way I viewed myself and I created an Instagram blog Instagram

created an Instagram blog Instagram

created an Instagram blog Instagram account and a blog where I would record

account and a blog where I would record

account and a blog where I would record my everyday life with living with a

my everyday life with living with a

my everyday life with living with a mental illness and I love photography

mental illness and I love photography

mental illness and I love photography and fashion so I connected fashion and

and fashion so I connected fashion and

and fashion so I connected fashion and photography with mental health awareness

photography with mental health awareness

photography with mental health awareness and rather than talking about the

and rather than talking about the

and rather than talking about the clothes that I was wearing on my

clothes that I was wearing on my

clothes that I was wearing on my Instagram accounts because most of the

Instagram accounts because most of the

Instagram accounts because most of the time I was wearing forever 21 anyway I

time I was wearing forever 21 anyway I

time I was wearing forever 21 anyway I talked about my mental health and I was

talked about my mental health and I was

talked about my mental health and I was extremely vulnerable and honest about

extremely vulnerable and honest about

extremely vulnerable and honest about everything that I was going through with

everything that I was going through with

everything that I was going through with living with a mental illness

living with a mental illness

living with a mental illness and because of that I found a community

and because of that I found a community

and because of that I found a community of people who were just like me who also

of people who were just like me who also

of people who were just like me who also felt like they didn’t fit in and with

felt like they didn’t fit in and with

felt like they didn’t fit in and with the world who stigmatized us and because

the world who stigmatized us and because

the world who stigmatized us and because of the community I’m actually up here

of the community I’m actually up here

of the community I’m actually up here today I’m really scared but I’m doing

today I’m really scared but I’m doing

today I’m really scared but I’m doing this because of those people our society

this because of those people our society

this because of those people our society is we don’t have any good representation

is we don’t have any good representation

is we don’t have any good representation in the media if you think of anybody

in the media if you think of anybody

in the media if you think of anybody with a mental illness all you can

with a mental illness all you can

with a mental illness all you can visualize or at least I can as someone

visualize or at least I can as someone

visualize or at least I can as someone who is just pushed aside because they’re

who is just pushed aside because they’re

who is just pushed aside because they’re crazy and it’s comic relief or you only

crazy and it’s comic relief or you only

crazy and it’s comic relief or you only see people stuck in mental health

see people stuck in mental health

see people stuck in mental health institutions and they become nothing and

institutions and they become nothing and

institutions and they become nothing and I think in order for society to change

I think in order for society to change

I think in order for society to change we’re the were society so we need to

we’re the were society so we need to

we’re the were society so we need to change the way we talk to ourselves and

change the way we talk to ourselves and

change the way we talk to ourselves and view mental illnesses and it starts with

view mental illnesses and it starts with

view mental illnesses and it starts with the way we speak to our to ourselves

forty million Americans suffer from a

forty million Americans suffer from a mental health condition that is one out

mental health condition that is one out

mental health condition that is one out of five people so someone you know has a

of five people so someone you know has a

of five people so someone you know has a mental illness and most of the time they

mental illness and most of the time they

mental illness and most of the time they keep quiet about it because they’re so

keep quiet about it because they’re so

keep quiet about it because they’re so afraid of the stigma that surrounds

afraid of the stigma that surrounds

afraid of the stigma that surrounds having a mental illness people will be

having a mental illness people will be

having a mental illness people will be little you will judge you will think

little you will judge you will think

little you will judge you will think you’re unintelligent and that’s not true

you’re unintelligent and that’s not true

you’re unintelligent and that’s not true at all

at all

at all I mean I don’t believe the dictionary

I mean I don’t believe the dictionary

I mean I don’t believe the dictionary when it says vulnerability is synonymous

when it says vulnerability is synonymous

when it says vulnerability is synonymous with weakness I disagree I think

with weakness I disagree I think

with weakness I disagree I think vulnerability equals strength and to be

vulnerability equals strength and to be

vulnerability equals strength and to be vulnerable is to be human to be scared

vulnerable is to be human to be scared

vulnerable is to be human to be scared to feel everything and accept those

to feel everything and accept those

to feel everything and accept those feelings is what’s necessary it’s not

feelings is what’s necessary it’s not

feelings is what’s necessary it’s not easy it’s always an everyday battle but

easy it’s always an everyday battle but

easy it’s always an everyday battle but it’s a battle that I know I need to keep

it’s a battle that I know I need to keep

it’s a battle that I know I need to keep doing to survive and also to raise

doing to survive and also to raise

doing to survive and also to raise awareness and rather than looking for

awareness and rather than looking for

awareness and rather than looking for someone else to be the light in your

someone else to be the light in your

someone else to be the light in your tunnel you need to be that light for

tunnel you need to be that light for

tunnel you need to be that light for yourself you need to stop looking for

yourself you need to stop looking for

yourself you need to stop looking for somebody else and look inside of

somebody else and look inside of

somebody else and look inside of yourself and change the way you view

yourself and change the way you view

yourself and change the way you view yourself find courage and fear find

yourself find courage and fear find

yourself find courage and fear find happiness and sadness and understand

happiness and sadness and understand

happiness and sadness and understand that it’s okay to not being okay

whatever you do though just remember if

whatever you do though just remember if you’re afraid or you’re going through

you’re afraid or you’re going through

you’re afraid or you’re going through something mental illness or not you

something mental illness or not you

something mental illness or not you should always speak up because you owe

should always speak up because you owe

should always speak up because you owe it to yourself to speak up for you so

it to yourself to speak up for you so

it to yourself to speak up for you so speak up for yourself you need to speak

speak up for yourself you need to speak

speak up for yourself you need to speak up even though your voice is shaking

up even though your voice is shaking

up even though your voice is shaking like mine is right now but you just need

like mine is right now but you just need

like mine is right now but you just need to speak up thank you

to speak up thank you

to speak up thank you [Applause]

”

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