[Music] in August of 2014 I almost lost my wife
in August of 2014 I almost lost my wife
in August of 2014 I almost lost my wife this was the final year of my training
this was the final year of my training
this was the final year of my training before getting my doctorate in clinical
before getting my doctorate in clinical
before getting my doctorate in clinical psychology what’s called the
psychology what’s called the
psychology what’s called the pre-doctoral internship and my wife Jill
pre-doctoral internship and my wife Jill
pre-doctoral internship and my wife Jill and I had moved into this little tiny
and I had moved into this little tiny
and I had moved into this little tiny apartment in San Diego California and
apartment in San Diego California and
apartment in San Diego California and not only was it tiny but it was so dark
not only was it tiny but it was so dark
not only was it tiny but it was so dark it was like a cave sometimes we had to
it was like a cave sometimes we had to
it was like a cave sometimes we had to go outside to tell if it was light or
go outside to tell if it was light or
go outside to tell if it was light or dark out that’s how about it was I
dark out that’s how about it was I
dark out that’s how about it was I didn’t realize though at the time that
didn’t realize though at the time that
didn’t realize though at the time that that darkness was going to be a theme
that darkness was going to be a theme
that darkness was going to be a theme for the year my wife Jill has always had
for the year my wife Jill has always had
for the year my wife Jill has always had some difficulties with anxiety and
some difficulties with anxiety and
some difficulties with anxiety and depression but the circumstances of our
depression but the circumstances of our
depression but the circumstances of our life at this point made it more
life at this point made it more
life at this point made it more difficult we were isolated from the
difficult we were isolated from the
difficult we were isolated from the place that we had called home and our
place that we had called home and our
place that we had called home and our support network and add to that I could
support network and add to that I could
support network and add to that I could not be there for her as much as I’d like
not be there for her as much as I’d like
not be there for her as much as I’d like because I was busy being overworked and
because I was busy being overworked and
because I was busy being overworked and underpaid as all doctoral interns are
underpaid as all doctoral interns are
underpaid as all doctoral interns are and this created the scenario where she
and this created the scenario where she
and this created the scenario where she was having panic attacks more frequently
was having panic attacks more frequently
was having panic attacks more frequently and they were becoming more severe but
and they were becoming more severe but
and they were becoming more severe but she had been in to see the therapist and
she had been in to see the therapist and
she had been in to see the therapist and the doctor trying to figure it out and
the doctor trying to figure it out and
the doctor trying to figure it out and it was at one of these sessions it was
it was at one of these sessions it was
it was at one of these sessions it was an emergency therapists session after a
an emergency therapists session after a
an emergency therapists session after a particularly alarming panic attack that
particularly alarming panic attack that
particularly alarming panic attack that Joelle revealed she had thoughts of
Joelle revealed she had thoughts of
Joelle revealed she had thoughts of suicide she had thought about just
suicide she had thought about just
suicide she had thought about just wanting to stop fighting taking a bunch
wanting to stop fighting taking a bunch
wanting to stop fighting taking a bunch of pills going to sleep and letting it
of pills going to sleep and letting it
of pills going to sleep and letting it go away
go away
go away I remember the scenario pretty vividly
I remember the scenario pretty vividly
I remember the scenario pretty vividly the therapist sitting over here calmly
the therapist sitting over here calmly
the therapist sitting over here calmly excusing herself to use the phone call
excusing herself to use the phone call
excusing herself to use the phone call and her supervisor they consulted at for
and her supervisor they consulted at for
and her supervisor they consulted at for a moment talked to Joelle and I and then
a moment talked to Joelle and I and then
a moment talked to Joelle and I and then the supervisor calmly explaining she’s
the supervisor calmly explaining she’s
the supervisor calmly explaining she’s going to be held on a 5150 which is an
going to be held on a 5150 which is an
going to be held on a 5150 which is an involuntary hold for psychiatric reasons
involuntary hold for psychiatric reasons
involuntary hold for psychiatric reasons in other words she was going away to the
in other words she was going away to the
in other words she was going away to the mental hospital for a few days now this
mental hospital for a few days now this
mental hospital for a few days now this wasn’t the crazy scenario that you see
wasn’t the crazy scenario that you see
wasn’t the crazy scenario that you see in the movies
in the movies
in the movies no kicking and screaming and all of that
no kicking and screaming and all of that
no kicking and screaming and all of that but it was Joelle sitting here with
but it was Joelle sitting here with
but it was Joelle sitting here with silent tears running down her face
silent tears running down her face
silent tears running down her face nodding and my hand on her shoulder
nodding and my hand on her shoulder
nodding and my hand on her shoulder gripping tighter and tighter as if there
gripping tighter and tighter as if there
gripping tighter and tighter as if there was some way I could anchor her there
was some way I could anchor her there
was some way I could anchor her there and
and
and stop all this from happening but there
stop all this from happening but there
stop all this from happening but there wasn’t and she did go away for a few
wasn’t and she did go away for a few
wasn’t and she did go away for a few days now the hospitalization process was
days now the hospitalization process was
days now the hospitalization process was not like the movies but the hospital
not like the movies but the hospital
not like the movies but the hospital itself kind of was we did not get the
itself kind of was we did not get the
itself kind of was we did not get the best Hospital in the area and even as a
best Hospital in the area and even as a
best Hospital in the area and even as a mental health professional when I
mental health professional when I
mental health professional when I visited her it was shocking to me that
visited her it was shocking to me that
visited her it was shocking to me that there were people screaming in the
there were people screaming in the
there were people screaming in the hallways there was one person who
hallways there was one person who
hallways there was one person who wouldn’t stop harassing us because they
wouldn’t stop harassing us because they
wouldn’t stop harassing us because they were convinced that Joelle was a member
were convinced that Joelle was a member
were convinced that Joelle was a member of the SWAT team planted there to kill
of the SWAT team planted there to kill
of the SWAT team planted there to kill everybody and she told me she wasn’t
everybody and she told me she wasn’t
everybody and she told me she wasn’t getting a lot of sleep because it seemed
getting a lot of sleep because it seemed
getting a lot of sleep because it seemed like every few minutes they were shining
like every few minutes they were shining
like every few minutes they were shining lights in her eyes to make sure she was
lights in her eyes to make sure she was
lights in her eyes to make sure she was still there so I have no room to
still there so I have no room to
still there so I have no room to complain here but this period of time
complain here but this period of time
complain here but this period of time was also really hard for me I spent a
was also really hard for me I spent a
was also really hard for me I spent a lot of time sitting in our little cave
lot of time sitting in our little cave
lot of time sitting in our little cave alone by myself just thinking and
alone by myself just thinking and
alone by myself just thinking and overwhelmingly I felt like a failure and
overwhelmingly I felt like a failure and
overwhelmingly I felt like a failure and there’s a part of that that I think is
there’s a part of that that I think is
there’s a part of that that I think is normal I think it’s understandable to
normal I think it’s understandable to
normal I think it’s understandable to feel like a failure as a husband as a
feel like a failure as a husband as a
feel like a failure as a husband as a spouse when your partner ends up in a
spouse when your partner ends up in a
spouse when your partner ends up in a mental institution but there was
mental institution but there was
mental institution but there was something else there too there is this
something else there too there is this
something else there too there is this deeper sort of failure that was murky
deeper sort of failure that was murky
deeper sort of failure that was murky and gross under the surface and it took
and gross under the surface and it took
and gross under the surface and it took me a while to put my fingers on why
me a while to put my fingers on why
me a while to put my fingers on why driving it was the sense that Joelle
driving it was the sense that Joelle
driving it was the sense that Joelle shouldn’t have been there that something
shouldn’t have been there that something
shouldn’t have been there that something went wrong along the way because she had
went wrong along the way because she had
went wrong along the way because she had books and resources she had been in
books and resources she had been in
books and resources she had been in therapy but for some reason the point
therapy but for some reason the point
therapy but for some reason the point wasn’t sticking and she wasn’t able to
wasn’t sticking and she wasn’t able to
wasn’t sticking and she wasn’t able to apply it and I came to realize as I
apply it and I came to realize as I
apply it and I came to realize as I thought about it that sense of failure
thought about it that sense of failure
thought about it that sense of failure under the surface was actually on behalf
under the surface was actually on behalf
under the surface was actually on behalf of the mental health field that I
of the mental health field that I
of the mental health field that I represented I thought we had failed her
represented I thought we had failed her
represented I thought we had failed her by letting this happen and I think I was
by letting this happen and I think I was
by letting this happen and I think I was right I think that we did fail her
right I think that we did fail her
right I think that we did fail her because you see language comes at a cost
because you see language comes at a cost
because you see language comes at a cost and the cost of the language that my
and the cost of the language that my
and the cost of the language that my field was using came at the cost of
field was using came at the cost of
field was using came at the cost of Joelle’s attention and ability to relate
Joelle’s attention and ability to relate
Joelle’s attention and ability to relate to what they were saying it didn’t work
to what they were saying it didn’t work
to what they were saying it didn’t work it didn’t hit the mark and so she was
it didn’t hit the mark and so she was
it didn’t hit the mark and so she was somebody so strong and so resilient
somebody so strong and so resilient
somebody so strong and so resilient feeling weak and helpless and that
feeling weak and helpless and that
feeling weak and helpless and that didn’t sit well with me now after a few
didn’t sit well with me now after a few
didn’t sit well with me now after a few days she was allowed to come back home
days she was allowed to come back home
days she was allowed to come back home and we spent a lot of time talking about
and we spent a lot of time talking about
and we spent a lot of time talking about this just going over what had happened
this just going over what had happened
this just going over what had happened and how to move forward and during one
and how to move forward and during one
and how to move forward and during one of these talks I reached over and
of these talks I reached over and
of these talks I reached over and grabbed one of her books
grabbed one of her books
grabbed one of her books this was basically the industry-standard
this was basically the industry-standard
this was basically the industry-standard workbook for anxiety now for
workbook for anxiety now for
workbook for anxiety now for professionals like me but for people
professionals like me but for people
professionals like me but for people like her who are actively contending
like her who are actively contending
like her who are actively contending with these symptoms so I flipped open to
with these symptoms so I flipped open to
with these symptoms so I flipped open to a random page and read a paragraph and I
a random page and read a paragraph and I
a random page and read a paragraph and I had to say to her sweetheart I have no
had to say to her sweetheart I have no
had to say to her sweetheart I have no idea what the hell this is trying to say
idea what the hell this is trying to say
idea what the hell this is trying to say here I was about to get my PhD in this
here I was about to get my PhD in this
here I was about to get my PhD in this stuff so I could only imagine that for
stuff so I could only imagine that for
stuff so I could only imagine that for somebody who’s exhausted from dealing
somebody who’s exhausted from dealing
somebody who’s exhausted from dealing with these symptoms
with these symptoms
with these symptoms day in and day out it must be so
day in and day out it must be so
day in and day out it must be so demotivating to work up the courage and
demotivating to work up the courage and
demotivating to work up the courage and energy and then get smacked in the face
energy and then get smacked in the face
energy and then get smacked in the face by such a complicated language and it
by such a complicated language and it
by such a complicated language and it was in that moment with that frustration
was in that moment with that frustration
was in that moment with that frustration that I realized the reason we had failed
that I realized the reason we had failed
that I realized the reason we had failed her as a field as we were guilty of
her as a field as we were guilty of
her as a field as we were guilty of something that I’ve come to call
something that I’ve come to call
something that I’ve come to call pedantic obfuscation I know that’s a
pedantic obfuscation I know that’s a
pedantic obfuscation I know that’s a mouthful we can also call it P over
mouthful we can also call it P over
mouthful we can also call it P over short but let me explain what it means
short but let me explain what it means
short but let me explain what it means so pedantic just refers to being overly
so pedantic just refers to being overly
so pedantic just refers to being overly obsessed with the details the
obsessed with the details the
obsessed with the details the terminology their particulars of
terminology their particulars of
terminology their particulars of something you might have had a professor
something you might have had a professor
something you might have had a professor or a boss who was too pedantic and put
or a boss who was too pedantic and put
or a boss who was too pedantic and put you to sleep as I drone on and on and on
you to sleep as I drone on and on and on
you to sleep as I drone on and on and on about something obfuscation refers to
about something obfuscation refers to
about something obfuscation refers to obscuring something making it unclear it
obscuring something making it unclear it
obscuring something making it unclear it could even mean to bewilder someone so
could even mean to bewilder someone so
could even mean to bewilder someone so putting those together pedantic
putting those together pedantic
putting those together pedantic obfuscation pio this term that I kind of
obfuscation pio this term that I kind of
obfuscation pio this term that I kind of just made up on my own refers to that
just made up on my own refers to that
just made up on my own refers to that thing that people do that just grinds my
thing that people do that just grinds my
thing that people do that just grinds my gears where they use jargon and
gears where they use jargon and
gears where they use jargon and unnecessarily complicated language and
unnecessarily complicated language and
unnecessarily complicated language and leave me feeling exhausted and unable to
leave me feeling exhausted and unable to
leave me feeling exhausted and unable to actually relate to what they’re saying
actually relate to what they’re saying
actually relate to what they’re saying when you don’t consider the cost of your
when you don’t consider the cost of your
when you don’t consider the cost of your language you run the risk of alienating
language you run the risk of alienating
language you run the risk of alienating people you separate them from the point
people you separate them from the point
people you separate them from the point that you’re trying to make whether that
that you’re trying to make whether that
that you’re trying to make whether that be in print or in a face-to-face
be in print or in a face-to-face
be in print or in a face-to-face conversation and since as mental health
conversation and since as mental health
conversation and since as mental health providers we were just peeing all over
providers we were just peeing all over
providers we were just peeing all over the place
the place
the place this made the scenario where Joelle and
this made the scenario where Joelle and
this made the scenario where Joelle and probably countless others had a hard
probably countless others had a hard
probably countless others had a hard time connecting to the resources
time connecting to the resources
time connecting to the resources designed to help which pissed me off I
designed to help which pissed me off I
designed to help which pissed me off I mean at this point in the scenario I’m
mean at this point in the scenario I’m
mean at this point in the scenario I’m getting worked up about this after
getting worked up about this after
getting worked up about this after reading that paragraph and I say
reading that paragraph and I say
reading that paragraph and I say something to the effect of man when they
something to the effect of man when they
something to the effect of man when they write misattribution of interoceptive
write misattribution of interoceptive
write misattribution of interoceptive cues for anxiety basically they’re
cues for anxiety basically they’re
cues for anxiety basically they’re trying to say that sometimes your brain
trying to say that sometimes your brain
trying to say that sometimes your brain is an asshole
is an asshole
is an asshole that sometimes you have this like little
that sometimes you have this like little
that sometimes you have this like little heart flutter or a pain here or there
heart flutter or a pain here or there
heart flutter or a pain here or there and instead of sitting back analyzing it
and instead of sitting back analyzing it
and instead of sitting back analyzing it and thinking maybe this is normal let’s
and thinking maybe this is normal let’s
and thinking maybe this is normal let’s wait it out and see your brain says that
wait it out and see your brain says that
wait it out and see your brain says that feels like anxiety I think you know what
feels like anxiety I think you know what
feels like anxiety I think you know what let’s have a panic attack just in case I
let’s have a panic attack just in case I
let’s have a panic attack just in case I told her the whole book could probably
told her the whole book could probably
told her the whole book could probably be condensed down into under a hundred
be condensed down into under a hundred
be condensed down into under a hundred pages if they really wanted to so she
pages if they really wanted to so she
pages if they really wanted to so she looked at me and said Robert you could
looked at me and said Robert you could
looked at me and said Robert you could write that since she’s always right I
write that since she’s always right I
write that since she’s always right I did and a month later I released my
did and a month later I released my
did and a month later I released my first book now my serious is a self-help
first book now my serious is a self-help
first book now my serious is a self-help series for people that typically hate
series for people that typically hate
series for people that typically hate self-help it uses straightforward
self-help it uses straightforward
self-help it uses straightforward language it’s spelled out has a healthy
language it’s spelled out has a healthy
language it’s spelled out has a healthy dash of my own terrible humor in it and
dash of my own terrible humor in it and
dash of my own terrible humor in it and I can’t tell you how amazing the
I can’t tell you how amazing the
I can’t tell you how amazing the feedback has been people really
feedback has been people really
feedback has been people really connected with my personal attempt to
connected with my personal attempt to
connected with my personal attempt to cut the pedantic obfuscation and
cut the pedantic obfuscation and
cut the pedantic obfuscation and understand the opportunity cost of my
understand the opportunity cost of my
understand the opportunity cost of my language the reason I’m telling you this
language the reason I’m telling you this
language the reason I’m telling you this is there’s an opportunity there there’s
is there’s an opportunity there there’s
is there’s an opportunity there there’s an opportunity to reach people who might
an opportunity to reach people who might
an opportunity to reach people who might not otherwise hear your message because
not otherwise hear your message because
not otherwise hear your message because they can’t get through the words being
they can’t get through the words being
they can’t get through the words being used this is really important in the
used this is really important in the
used this is really important in the field of mental health we’re in the
field of mental health we’re in the
field of mental health we’re in the business of reaching people and to make
business of reaching people and to make
business of reaching people and to make our resources exhausting to get through
our resources exhausting to get through
our resources exhausting to get through that shows we’re not truly empathizing
that shows we’re not truly empathizing
that shows we’re not truly empathizing with people and I think it’s an issue in
with people and I think it’s an issue in
with people and I think it’s an issue in a lot of other areas as well coming from
a lot of other areas as well coming from
a lot of other areas as well coming from an academic background I wanted to dive
an academic background I wanted to dive
an academic background I wanted to dive into the research a bit see is Pio an
into the research a bit see is Pio an
into the research a bit see is Pio an issue in other areas and man it
issue in other areas and man it
issue in other areas and man it definitely is there’s a lot of research
definitely is there’s a lot of research
definitely is there’s a lot of research out there one line of research that
out there one line of research that
out there one line of research that caught my eye though is in the medical
caught my eye though is in the medical
caught my eye though is in the medical field
field
field looking at the impact of unclarified
looking at the impact of unclarified
looking at the impact of unclarified medical jargon so words or terms that
medical jargon so words or terms that
medical jargon so words or terms that your doctor might use but they don’t
your doctor might use but they don’t
your doctor might use but they don’t clear up for you there was one study
clear up for you there was one study
clear up for you there was one study that blew my mind so these are people
that blew my mind so these are people
that blew my mind so these are people that were about to be getting major
that were about to be getting major
that were about to be getting major surgery and they had a preoperative
surgery and they had a preoperative
surgery and they had a preoperative appointment where the doctor explains
appointment where the doctor explains
appointment where the doctor explains everything to them beforehand now they
everything to them beforehand now they
everything to them beforehand now they were tested after this session on their
were tested after this session on their
were tested after this session on their comprehension of ten commonly used
comprehension of ten commonly used
comprehension of ten commonly used medical terms that were thrown around
medical terms that were thrown around
medical terms that were thrown around during the session 60% of the terms used
during the session 60% of the terms used
during the session 60% of the terms used weren’t adequately understood by the
weren’t adequately understood by the
weren’t adequately understood by the people studied so that means over half
people studied so that means over half
people studied so that means over half of the terms used these common medical
of the terms used these common medical
of the terms used these common medical terms used in this explanation session
terms used in this explanation session
terms used in this explanation session were not understood by the people that
were not understood by the people that
were not understood by the people that we’re trying to get that information
we’re trying to get that information
we’re trying to get that information which blows my mind right but as I think
which blows my mind right but as I think
which blows my mind right but as I think about it a lot of you have probably
about it a lot of you have probably
about it a lot of you have probably the experience of being in with a doctor
the experience of being in with a doctor
the experience of being in with a doctor or maybe even in a business meeting and
or maybe even in a business meeting and
or maybe even in a business meeting and having some jargon or a certain term
having some jargon or a certain term
having some jargon or a certain term thrown around that you don’t completely
thrown around that you don’t completely
thrown around that you don’t completely understand but you don’t want to ask for
understand but you don’t want to ask for
understand but you don’t want to ask for clarification because you don’t want to
clarification because you don’t want to
clarification because you don’t want to sound stupid you are not stupid that
sound stupid you are not stupid that
sound stupid you are not stupid that expectation to sit back and passively
expectation to sit back and passively
expectation to sit back and passively accept the information without fully
accept the information without fully
accept the information without fully understanding it that’s stupid
understanding it that’s stupid
understanding it that’s stupid the impact of language in a medical or
the impact of language in a medical or
the impact of language in a medical or mental health setting can be dangerous
mental health setting can be dangerous
mental health setting can be dangerous in other situations the cost can be well
in other situations the cost can be well
in other situations the cost can be well money I’ve definitely had the experience
money I’ve definitely had the experience
money I’ve definitely had the experience of going to the mechanic for my car and
of going to the mechanic for my car and
of going to the mechanic for my car and feeling like they intentionally throw me
feeling like they intentionally throw me
feeling like they intentionally throw me off with a language that they’d use
off with a language that they’d use
off with a language that they’d use because when you don’t fully understand
because when you don’t fully understand
because when you don’t fully understand the language you can’t participate
the language you can’t participate
the language you can’t participate completely in the conversation it
completely in the conversation it
completely in the conversation it becomes a one-way street instead of a
becomes a one-way street instead of a
becomes a one-way street instead of a transaction so in this situation I’m
transaction so in this situation I’m
transaction so in this situation I’m left paralyzed unable to respond while
left paralyzed unable to respond while
left paralyzed unable to respond while the mechanic reads this gigantic list of
the mechanic reads this gigantic list of
the mechanic reads this gigantic list of things that apparently need fixing right
things that apparently need fixing right
things that apparently need fixing right that moment and a huge price tag at the
that moment and a huge price tag at the
that moment and a huge price tag at the end now this is not a new issue every
end now this is not a new issue every
end now this is not a new issue every field of science information technology
field of science information technology
field of science information technology news politics even sports these are all
news politics even sports these are all
news politics even sports these are all fields that have had pedantic
fields that have had pedantic
fields that have had pedantic obfuscation as an issue for a while
obfuscation as an issue for a while
obfuscation as an issue for a while Albert Einstein even waited on the topic
Albert Einstein even waited on the topic
Albert Einstein even waited on the topic he has a quote that says if you can’t
he has a quote that says if you can’t
he has a quote that says if you can’t explain something simply you do not
explain something simply you do not
explain something simply you do not understand it well enough I could not
understand it well enough I could not
understand it well enough I could not agree more
agree more
agree more I see reliance on jargon and
I see reliance on jargon and
I see reliance on jargon and unnecessarily complicated explanations
unnecessarily complicated explanations
unnecessarily complicated explanations as the easy answer it’s actually safer
as the easy answer it’s actually safer
as the easy answer it’s actually safer than keeping things straight forward
than keeping things straight forward
than keeping things straight forward because it allows you to keep it bullet
because it allows you to keep it bullet
because it allows you to keep it bullet arm’s length it allows you to avoid
arm’s length it allows you to avoid
arm’s length it allows you to avoid those people that might otherwise call
those people that might otherwise call
those people that might otherwise call you out on any misunderstandings that
you out on any misunderstandings that
you out on any misunderstandings that you have but I don’t think we should
you have but I don’t think we should
you have but I don’t think we should settle for that I don’t think we should
settle for that I don’t think we should
settle for that I don’t think we should settle for lofty confusing explanations
settle for lofty confusing explanations
settle for lofty confusing explanations for things that could be distilled down
for things that could be distilled down
for things that could be distilled down into succinct language with a little bit
into succinct language with a little bit
into succinct language with a little bit of room for personality I mean at what
of room for personality I mean at what
of room for personality I mean at what point in time do we have to stop being
point in time do we have to stop being
point in time do we have to stop being real people when we talk or when we
real people when we talk or when we
real people when we talk or when we write things so if you’re an expert or a
write things so if you’re an expert or a
write things so if you’re an expert or a thought leader or even just passionate
thought leader or even just passionate
thought leader or even just passionate in what you do ask yourself if you two
in what you do ask yourself if you two
in what you do ask yourself if you two are differencing people through the
are differencing people through the
are differencing people through the language that you use sometimes this is
language that you use sometimes this is
language that you use sometimes this is on purpose in therapy or testing I might
on purpose in therapy or testing I might
on purpose in therapy or testing I might use a jargon term like mal odorous
use a jargon term like mal odorous
use a jargon term like mal odorous instead of saying that somebody stunk
instead of saying that somebody stunk
instead of saying that somebody stunk really
really
really that’s me distancing myself from that
that’s me distancing myself from that
that’s me distancing myself from that point on purpose but often I don’t think
point on purpose but often I don’t think
point on purpose but often I don’t think it’s on purpose I think it’s an
it’s on purpose I think it’s an
it’s on purpose I think it’s an automatic process that we use to keep
automatic process that we use to keep
automatic process that we use to keep ourselves safe from criticism so instead
ourselves safe from criticism so instead
ourselves safe from criticism so instead of asking yourself if something sounds
of asking yourself if something sounds
of asking yourself if something sounds smart or it sounds professional ask
smart or it sounds professional ask
smart or it sounds professional ask yourself how you can reach people join
yourself how you can reach people join
yourself how you can reach people join me in saying hell no to Pio and here’s
me in saying hell no to Pio and here’s
me in saying hell no to Pio and here’s how you can start that here’s how you
how you can start that here’s how you
how you can start that here’s how you can check where you fall on that Pio
can check where you fall on that Pio
can check where you fall on that Pio meter
meter
meter next time you have a meeting or you’re
next time you have a meeting or you’re
next time you have a meeting or you’re writing an email before you dive into
writing an email before you dive into
writing an email before you dive into your next written project ask yourself
your next written project ask yourself
your next written project ask yourself three questions one do we already share
three questions one do we already share
three questions one do we already share our language if you have a language of
our language if you have a language of
our language if you have a language of vocabulary that you share with somebody
vocabulary that you share with somebody
vocabulary that you share with somebody and it serves the purpose of actually
and it serves the purpose of actually
and it serves the purpose of actually simplifying things by all means use that
simplifying things by all means use that
simplifying things by all means use that in my professional work with my partner
in my professional work with my partner
in my professional work with my partner I would much rather say that somebody
I would much rather say that somebody
I would much rather say that somebody has executive functioning deficits and
has executive functioning deficits and
has executive functioning deficits and blue and aphasia rather than saying well
blue and aphasia rather than saying well
blue and aphasia rather than saying well they had a hard time paying attention
they had a hard time paying attention
they had a hard time paying attention and when they were met with distractions
and when they were met with distractions
and when they were met with distractions their productivity dropped and when they
their productivity dropped and when they
their productivity dropped and when they talk to did it really make sense but if
talk to did it really make sense but if
talk to did it really make sense but if you weren’t listening closely it sounds
you weren’t listening closely it sounds
you weren’t listening closely it sounds like it should have made sense there’s
like it should have made sense there’s
like it should have made sense there’s two phrases I mean the same thing so I
two phrases I mean the same thing so I
two phrases I mean the same thing so I should use that the thing is you need to
should use that the thing is you need to
should use that the thing is you need to be sure don’t assume ask the question of
be sure don’t assume ask the question of
be sure don’t assume ask the question of whether you share that language question
whether you share that language question
whether you share that language question – how can I say this to my best friend
– how can I say this to my best friend
– how can I say this to my best friend or romantic partner over a beer or a
or romantic partner over a beer or a
or romantic partner over a beer or a coffee or kale smoothie your beverage of
coffee or kale smoothie your beverage of
coffee or kale smoothie your beverage of choice the best friend or romantic
choice the best friend or romantic
choice the best friend or romantic partner is somebody who probably wants
partner is somebody who probably wants
partner is somebody who probably wants to hear you out but they do not want the
to hear you out but they do not want the
to hear you out but they do not want the overly complicated version so as you’re
overly complicated version so as you’re
overly complicated version so as you’re picturing yourself saying something to
picturing yourself saying something to
picturing yourself saying something to them or reading through something having
them or reading through something having
them or reading through something having them read it if you see them crinkling
them read it if you see them crinkling
them read it if you see them crinkling their brow clearly struggling through
their brow clearly struggling through
their brow clearly struggling through your language or conveniently being
your language or conveniently being
your language or conveniently being distracted by their phone as you’re
distracted by their phone as you’re
distracted by their phone as you’re talking you might be veering off into
talking you might be veering off into
talking you might be veering off into pio territory and need to reel it back
pio territory and need to reel it back
pio territory and need to reel it back in a little bit the third question is a
in a little bit the third question is a
in a little bit the third question is a simple one how would I like to receive
simple one how would I like to receive
simple one how would I like to receive this information there’s no reason you
this information there’s no reason you
this information there’s no reason you need to be putting out information or
need to be putting out information or
need to be putting out information or resources that you would never want to
resources that you would never want to
resources that you would never want to consume yourself
consume yourself
consume yourself there’s no reason needs to be shipped
there’s no reason needs to be shipped
there’s no reason needs to be shipped you should be saying things that you
you should be saying things that you
you should be saying things that you would be bored to death by or that you
would be bored to death by or that you
would be bored to death by or that you would be confused by so just flip the
would be confused by so just flip the
would be confused by so just flip the script and imagine that you’re on the
script and imagine that you’re on the
script and imagine that you’re on the receiving end how would you like to hear
receiving end how would you like to hear
receiving end how would you like to hear it as I said before I think there’s an
it as I said before I think there’s an
it as I said before I think there’s an opportunity here
opportunity here
opportunity here some really interesting interesting
some really interesting interesting
some really interesting interesting things can happen when we start to say
things can happen when we start to say
things can happen when we start to say no to Pio and understand the cost of our
no to Pio and understand the cost of our
no to Pio and understand the cost of our language for one the bar can raise so as
language for one the bar can raise so as
language for one the bar can raise so as thought leaders and experts are
thought leaders and experts are
thought leaders and experts are pressured to distill their ideas down
pressured to distill their ideas down
pressured to distill their ideas down into relatable language they’re going to
into relatable language they’re going to
into relatable language they’re going to have to be on their game just like that
have to be on their game just like that
have to be on their game just like that Einstein quote implied you have to
Einstein quote implied you have to
Einstein quote implied you have to understand something better in order to
understand something better in order to
understand something better in order to simplify it so that’s going to be good
simplify it so that’s going to be good
simplify it so that’s going to be good for everybody
for everybody
for everybody and as that standard changes people on
and as that standard changes people on
and as that standard changes people on the receiving end of information will
the receiving end of information will
the receiving end of information will actually be empowered because they’ll be
actually be empowered because they’ll be
actually be empowered because they’ll be allowed to ask questions and get
allowed to ask questions and get
allowed to ask questions and get clarification really understanding
clarification really understanding
clarification really understanding what’s going on rather than having that
what’s going on rather than having that
what’s going on rather than having that one-way street most importantly you can
one-way street most importantly you can
one-way street most importantly you can reach people every day there’s someone
reach people every day there’s someone
reach people every day there’s someone out there just like my wife Joelle who’s
out there just like my wife Joelle who’s
out there just like my wife Joelle who’s going through the worst year ever and
going through the worst year ever and
going through the worst year ever and they’re desperate for that piece of
they’re desperate for that piece of
they’re desperate for that piece of information that’s just so relatable and
information that’s just so relatable and
information that’s just so relatable and clear that it can help them pull things
clear that it can help them pull things
clear that it can help them pull things back together and you can be that voice
back together and you can be that voice
back together and you can be that voice so please consider the cost of your
so please consider the cost of your
so please consider the cost of your language avoid pedantic obfuscation
language avoid pedantic obfuscation
language avoid pedantic obfuscation where you can focus on reaching people
where you can focus on reaching people
where you can focus on reaching people and you can truly make a difference
and you can truly make a difference
and you can truly make a difference thank you
”
Be First to Comment