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What I Learned From Losing Someone Special | Anar Amarjargal | TEDxAmericanSchoolOfUlaanbaatar


loving some wanting can be the easiest

loving some wanting can be the easiest and hardest to perfection one can have

and hardest to perfection one can have

and hardest to perfection one can have it can be easy because the ones you love

it can be easy because the ones you love

it can be easy because the ones you love are usually the ones who support you and

are usually the ones who support you and

are usually the ones who support you and the ones you rely on it can be hard

the ones you rely on it can be hard

the ones you rely on it can be hard because at some point of your life you

because at some point of your life you

because at some point of your life you may lose that loved one you can lose a

may lose that loved one you can lose a

may lose that loved one you can lose a loved one from rather a tragedy or even

loved one from rather a tragedy or even

loved one from rather a tragedy or even from growing apart losing someone can be

from growing apart losing someone can be

from growing apart losing someone can be a very difficult thing to go through but

a very difficult thing to go through but

a very difficult thing to go through but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad

it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad

it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing from their death you can learn

thing from their death you can learn

thing from their death you can learn something I have realized that a person

something I have realized that a person

something I have realized that a person that every moment of their life is

that every moment of their life is

that every moment of their life is always learning something new

always learning something new

always learning something new it made me learn to talk specific

it made me learn to talk specific

it made me learn to talk specific language later have to walk and do

language later have to walk and do

language later have to walk and do certain things then we go to school and

certain things then we go to school and

certain things then we go to school and learn an amazing amount of lessons but

learn an amazing amount of lessons but

learn an amazing amount of lessons but the one thing that not all schools teach

the one thing that not all schools teach

the one thing that not all schools teach used to love and cherish your loved ones

used to love and cherish your loved ones

used to love and cherish your loved ones when I was 13 years old I lost my

when I was 13 years old I lost my

when I was 13 years old I lost my beloved baby sister she was only 2 years

beloved baby sister she was only 2 years

beloved baby sister she was only 2 years old it was the hardest thing I’ve ever

old it was the hardest thing I’ve ever

old it was the hardest thing I’ve ever faced till this day my baby sister’s

faced till this day my baby sister’s

faced till this day my baby sister’s name was Raveena but we called her in a

name was Raveena but we called her in a

name was Raveena but we called her in a few short Nina was diagnosed with Down

few short Nina was diagnosed with Down

few short Nina was diagnosed with Down syndrome she spends most of her life in

syndrome she spends most of her life in

syndrome she spends most of her life in hospital taking medications and getting

hospital taking medications and getting

hospital taking medications and getting TACT’s to see if everything system was

TACT’s to see if everything system was

TACT’s to see if everything system was all right I remember my span of about 3

all right I remember my span of about 3

all right I remember my span of about 3 months when she was in the hospital

months when she was in the hospital

months when she was in the hospital every single day taking medications and

every single day taking medications and

every single day taking medications and getting injections whenever I saw her

getting injections whenever I saw her

getting injections whenever I saw her her arm was bandaged bruised from all

her arm was bandaged bruised from all

her arm was bandaged bruised from all the injections that she has gotten but

the injections that she has gotten but

the injections that she has gotten but even with all that my baby sister would

even with all that my baby sister would

even with all that my baby sister would just forget about everything that was

just forget about everything that was

just forget about everything that was happening to her and do it for the

happening to her and do it for the

happening to her and do it for the children and laugh and enjoy her life

children and laugh and enjoy her life

children and laugh and enjoy her life her smile was the only thing that kept

her smile was the only thing that kept

her smile was the only thing that kept me on the coast after all that happened

me on the coast after all that happened

me on the coast after all that happened my mom used to tell me whenever I got

my mom used to tell me whenever I got

my mom used to tell me whenever I got her shots

her shots

her shots there’d be tears stinging in my mother’s

there’d be tears stinging in my mother’s

there’d be tears stinging in my mother’s eyes and my baby sister would look up at

eyes and my baby sister would look up at

eyes and my baby sister would look up at her and smile as if she was telling her

her and smile as if she was telling her

her and smile as if she was telling her I’m alright mom don’t cry because of me

I’m alright mom don’t cry because of me

I’m alright mom don’t cry because of me because of her my mother said that was

because of her my mother said that was

because of her my mother said that was so much pain and emotion it urged me to

so much pain and emotion it urged me to

so much pain and emotion it urged me to think about life differently my baby

think about life differently my baby

think about life differently my baby sister’s death gave me a reason to see

sister’s death gave me a reason to see

sister’s death gave me a reason to see life in a different light made me want

life in a different light made me want

life in a different light made me want to make sure that my baby sister’s death

to make sure that my baby sister’s death

to make sure that my baby sister’s death wasn’t for nothing

wasn’t for nothing

wasn’t for nothing I wanted to make a proud no matter where

I wanted to make a proud no matter where

I wanted to make a proud no matter where she was I wanted to make a

she was I wanted to make a

she was I wanted to make a I didn’t know how to do that at that

I didn’t know how to do that at that

I didn’t know how to do that at that time but I think I do now it is human

time but I think I do now it is human

time but I think I do now it is human nature to take others for granted people

nature to take others for granted people

nature to take others for granted people don’t realize that whatever you have

don’t realize that whatever you have

don’t realize that whatever you have whether it is their friends or family we

whether it is their friends or family we

whether it is their friends or family we often don’t appreciate them until

often don’t appreciate them until

often don’t appreciate them until they’re gone from international service

they’re gone from international service

they’re gone from international service I think that people regret them most in

I think that people regret them most in

I think that people regret them most in life Auto relate to the relationships

life Auto relate to the relationships

life Auto relate to the relationships they have built with others but I ask

they have built with others but I ask

they have built with others but I ask you instead of regretting about the

you instead of regretting about the

you instead of regretting about the people you lose or the relationships

people you lose or the relationships

people you lose or the relationships that fall apart

that fall apart

that fall apart why not cherish every single day you

why not cherish every single day you

why not cherish every single day you have with those you care while you still

have with those you care while you still

have with those you care while you still can and you can start doing this today

can and you can start doing this today

can and you can start doing this today even if you haven’t had dinner with your

even if you haven’t had dinner with your

even if you haven’t had dinner with your family for the past few days or you

family for the past few days or you

family for the past few days or you haven’t done anything together with them

haven’t done anything together with them

haven’t done anything together with them there is always a thing called today

there is always a thing called today

there is always a thing called today where you can start new from those

where you can start new from those

where you can start new from those international surveys there’s nothing

international surveys there’s nothing

international surveys there’s nothing about not getting a specific piece of

about not getting a specific piece of

about not getting a specific piece of coding or buying a new iPhone they all

coding or buying a new iPhone they all

coding or buying a new iPhone they all regret the thing that most of us have

regret the thing that most of us have

regret the thing that most of us have already why should we regret them 10

already why should we regret them 10

already why should we regret them 10 years time think that everybody regrets

years time think that everybody regrets

years time think that everybody regrets when we had the chance to share

when we had the chance to share

when we had the chance to share instead I hope you can learn from my

instead I hope you can learn from my

instead I hope you can learn from my loss after losing my beautiful baby

loss after losing my beautiful baby

loss after losing my beautiful baby sister I went through a phase and I

sister I went through a phase and I

sister I went through a phase and I might even still be going to that face

might even still be going to that face

might even still be going to that face to this day when I was in middle school

to this day when I was in middle school

to this day when I was in middle school I didn’t really care about how I did I

I didn’t really care about how I did I

I didn’t really care about how I did I just want the flow and wasn’t that sad

just want the flow and wasn’t that sad

just want the flow and wasn’t that sad or disappointed if I got a be like how a

or disappointed if I got a be like how a

or disappointed if I got a be like how a kind of denial and this 10th grade I

kind of denial and this 10th grade I

kind of denial and this 10th grade I heard a bit more and I strived for

heard a bit more and I strived for

heard a bit more and I strived for better grades it wasn’t until my

better grades it wasn’t until my

better grades it wasn’t until my babysitter’s death that I started the

babysitter’s death that I started the

babysitter’s death that I started the lid for Ace waiting for creates and not

lid for Ace waiting for creates and not

lid for Ace waiting for creates and not looking for you it’s a really

looking for you it’s a really

looking for you it’s a really disappointing thing to do some people

disappointing thing to do some people

disappointing thing to do some people might think it’s weird when mourning the

might think it’s weird when mourning the

might think it’s weird when mourning the loss of a loved one it would be natural

loss of a loved one it would be natural

loss of a loved one it would be natural to lose focus on schoolwork while I took

to lose focus on schoolwork while I took

to lose focus on schoolwork while I took the opposite I tried harder to make sure

the opposite I tried harder to make sure

the opposite I tried harder to make sure that she was proud no matter what and I

that she was proud no matter what and I

that she was proud no matter what and I thought the only way I could do that was

thought the only way I could do that was

thought the only way I could do that was to study hard and get good grades well

to study hard and get good grades well

to study hard and get good grades well get off I got good grades but while I

get off I got good grades but while I

get off I got good grades but while I gained something I also lost something I

gained something I also lost something I

gained something I also lost something I lost the connection with my family I

lost the connection with my family I

lost the connection with my family I noticed the time that I spent my family

noticed the time that I spent my family

noticed the time that I spent my family was lessening and then all of a sudden I

was lessening and then all of a sudden I

was lessening and then all of a sudden I realized through my sister’s death that

realized through my sister’s death that

realized through my sister’s death that the height the time that I have my

the height the time that I have my

the height the time that I have my parents and siblings is not forever it

parents and siblings is not forever it

parents and siblings is not forever it doesn’t matter if you’re not good at

doesn’t matter if you’re not good at

doesn’t matter if you’re not good at something if you’re interested in it

something if you’re interested in it

something if you’re interested in it I bet desired practice actually does

I bet desired practice actually does

I bet desired practice actually does make perfect but don’t make but make

make perfect but don’t make but make

make perfect but don’t make but make sure you don’t lose yourself to your

sure you don’t lose yourself to your

sure you don’t lose yourself to your work instead of losing yourself you

work instead of losing yourself you

work instead of losing yourself you should retain yourself take something

should retain yourself take something

should retain yourself take something life-changing out of your experiences

life-changing out of your experiences

life-changing out of your experiences the life did you think be realizing that

the life did you think be realizing that

the life did you think be realizing that lot of people have what you have family

lot of people have what you have family

lot of people have what you have family loved ones or even a good education and

loved ones or even a good education and

loved ones or even a good education and that needs to be grateful for everything

that needs to be grateful for everything

that needs to be grateful for everything you have last year fifty five million

you have last year fifty five million

you have last year fifty five million people died those fifty five million

people died those fifty five million

people died those fifty five million people that behind loved ones family

people that behind loved ones family

people that behind loved ones family members friends who’s gonna miss them

members friends who’s gonna miss them

members friends who’s gonna miss them dad can be a frightful thing especially

dad can be a frightful thing especially

dad can be a frightful thing especially for those who are left behind you can

for those who are left behind you can

for those who are left behind you can also see one affair when loved ones were

also see one affair when loved ones were

also see one affair when loved ones were taken away before their time but as I

taken away before their time but as I

taken away before their time but as I tried to believe everything happens for

tried to believe everything happens for

tried to believe everything happens for a reason I remember one day I was with

a reason I remember one day I was with

a reason I remember one day I was with my friends having a good time and then

my friends having a good time and then

my friends having a good time and then all of a sudden my mom calls me and

all of a sudden my mom calls me and

all of a sudden my mom calls me and tells me to come home when I asked why

tells me to come home when I asked why

tells me to come home when I asked why she said that I needed to come home and

she said that I needed to come home and

she said that I needed to come home and babysit my baby sister because she had

babysit my baby sister because she had

babysit my baby sister because she had earned to run back then it was a pain

earned to run back then it was a pain

earned to run back then it was a pain watching over her but when I think about

watching over her but when I think about

watching over her but when I think about it now I would do anything for her to be

it now I would do anything for her to be

it now I would do anything for her to be in my life and the chance to watch over

in my life and the chance to watch over

in my life and the chance to watch over her just one more time that day when I

her just one more time that day when I

her just one more time that day when I was in my building waiting for the

was in my building waiting for the

was in my building waiting for the elevator to come down I wish those words

elevator to come down I wish those words

elevator to come down I wish those words were the most regretted words that ever

were the most regretted words that ever

were the most regretted words that ever passed my mind and I sometimes think to

passed my mind and I sometimes think to

passed my mind and I sometimes think to myself oh stop trying

myself oh stop trying

myself oh stop trying stop trying to fulfill their dream start

stop trying to fulfill their dream start

stop trying to fulfill their dream start bad habits and just don’t care anymore

bad habits and just don’t care anymore

bad habits and just don’t care anymore being a teenager is hard I know because

being a teenager is hard I know because

being a teenager is hard I know because I am one you’re pushed to be the best

I am one you’re pushed to be the best

I am one you’re pushed to be the best college in the future just a pile on to

college in the future just a pile on to

college in the future just a pile on to that stress Tina just moves and

that stress Tina just moves and

that stress Tina just moves and personalities can change really easily

personalities can change really easily

personalities can change really easily even if you think you’re all grown up to

even if you think you’re all grown up to

even if you think you’re all grown up to your parents you are still the little

your parents you are still the little

your parents you are still the little child

child

child if your parents have cared for you and

if your parents have cared for you and

if your parents have cared for you and loved you with all their hearts I can’t

loved you with all their hearts I can’t

loved you with all their hearts I can’t we do the same if kids truthfully tears

we do the same if kids truthfully tears

we do the same if kids truthfully tears their family and don’t take the for

their family and don’t take the for

their family and don’t take the for granted I truly believe people’s lives

granted I truly believe people’s lives

granted I truly believe people’s lives can change now it may seem like your

can change now it may seem like your

can change now it may seem like your parents don’t Angie

parents don’t Angie

parents don’t Angie but in a few years time you’re gonna

but in a few years time you’re gonna

but in a few years time you’re gonna look back and admit that many of the

look back and admit that many of the

look back and admit that many of the things the coach were right and much of

things the coach were right and much of

things the coach were right and much of the vice to give you was wise parents

the vice to give you was wise parents

the vice to give you was wise parents can be really strict so they can be

can be really strict so they can be

can be really strict so they can be really easygoing but remember that hairy

really easygoing but remember that hairy

really easygoing but remember that hairy parents raised you

parents raised you

parents raised you sheeps through arts day we need to learn

sheeps through arts day we need to learn

sheeps through arts day we need to learn I realize that it’s loving the ones that

I realize that it’s loving the ones that

I realize that it’s loving the ones that are close to us should not be a hard job

are close to us should not be a hard job

are close to us should not be a hard job to do you don’t have to buy them

to do you don’t have to buy them

to do you don’t have to buy them anything or call them daily goodbye kiss

anything or call them daily goodbye kiss

anything or call them daily goodbye kiss when you’re leaving the house can mean a

when you’re leaving the house can mean a

when you’re leaving the house can mean a lot simply saying word two syllables

lot simply saying word two syllables

lot simply saying word two syllables hello or goodbye can mean something for

hello or goodbye can mean something for

hello or goodbye can mean something for your loved one one thing I learned from

your loved one one thing I learned from

your loved one one thing I learned from using my sisters that master start

using my sisters that master start

using my sisters that master start loving the ones that are close to us

loving the ones that are close to us

loving the ones that are close to us before they’re gone family should be the

before they’re gone family should be the

before they’re gone family should be the most important thing in life even if

most important thing in life even if

most important thing in life even if some of us have little of it I remember

some of us have little of it I remember

some of us have little of it I remember the day my beautiful baby sister died my

the day my beautiful baby sister died my

the day my beautiful baby sister died my aunt came to my school in the middle of

aunt came to my school in the middle of

aunt came to my school in the middle of the morning to pick me up the school

the morning to pick me up the school

the morning to pick me up the school manager came to my class to tell the

manager came to my class to tell the

manager came to my class to tell the teacher to excuse me and she asked if a

teacher to excuse me and she asked if a

teacher to excuse me and she asked if a sister had been sick those words didn’t

sister had been sick those words didn’t

sister had been sick those words didn’t even say anything he’s just had her mind

even say anything he’s just had her mind

even say anything he’s just had her mind is blank

is blank

is blank all I could think was nothing I was so

all I could think was nothing I was so

all I could think was nothing I was so shocked that’s my wonderful baby sister

shocked that’s my wonderful baby sister

shocked that’s my wonderful baby sister was absolutely gone once actually saw my

was absolutely gone once actually saw my

was absolutely gone once actually saw my sister all I could think was what now

sister all I could think was what now

sister all I could think was what now what am I supposed to do some of the

what am I supposed to do some of the

what am I supposed to do some of the voice inside my head were saying that

voice inside my head were saying that

voice inside my head were saying that everything was going to turn out alright

everything was going to turn out alright

everything was going to turn out alright and other voices had to punish others so

and other voices had to punish others so

and other voices had to punish others so that my pain could go away even if you

that my pain could go away even if you

that my pain could go away even if you do push away people it’s not gonna heal

do push away people it’s not gonna heal

do push away people it’s not gonna heal you all it’s going to do was hurt even

you all it’s going to do was hurt even

you all it’s going to do was hurt even more

more

more the back there’s also an important thing

the back there’s also an important thing

the back there’s also an important thing to have for your family members even if

to have for your family members even if

to have for your family members even if they’re younger than you

they’re younger than you

they’re younger than you my parents are super strong and caring

my parents are super strong and caring

my parents are super strong and caring you have gone through they can make me

you have gone through they can make me

you have gone through they can make me the life and living aunt who thanks for

the life and living aunt who thanks for

the life and living aunt who thanks for that my mom is the most strongest person

that my mom is the most strongest person

that my mom is the most strongest person I’ve ever met

I’ve ever met

I’ve ever met she’s gone through hell it wasn’t one of

she’s gone through hell it wasn’t one of

she’s gone through hell it wasn’t one of her daughter’s aunt he’s immensely

her daughter’s aunt he’s immensely

her daughter’s aunt he’s immensely strong I always wanted to be as strong

strong I always wanted to be as strong

strong I always wanted to be as strong as her but it’s hard it’s hard wanting

as her but it’s hard it’s hard wanting

as her but it’s hard it’s hard wanting people to see you as strong but really a

people to see you as strong but really a

people to see you as strong but really a car yourself to sleep I can’t imagine

car yourself to sleep I can’t imagine

car yourself to sleep I can’t imagine life without her

life without her

life without her my father is the most caring and loving

my father is the most caring and loving

my father is the most caring and loving person in the world he never raised his

person in the world he never raised his

person in the world he never raised his voice to anyone and through his day

voice to anyone and through his day

voice to anyone and through his day night ma stop just to make our life

night ma stop just to make our life

night ma stop just to make our life easier

easier

easier he is so selfless he does everything for

he is so selfless he does everything for

he is so selfless he does everything for his family and nothing for himself when

his family and nothing for himself when

his family and nothing for himself when I grow up I want to be my parents I want

I grow up I want to be my parents I want

I grow up I want to be my parents I want to be the person who’d do anything for

to be the person who’d do anything for

to be the person who’d do anything for their family my big sister is also a

their family my big sister is also a

their family my big sister is also a huge inspiration for me she tried to go

huge inspiration for me she tried to go

huge inspiration for me she tried to go hard in everything all the hard work

hard in everything all the hard work

hard in everything all the hard work pays off for her she got a hundred

pays off for her she got a hundred

pays off for her she got a hundred missing scholarship to really good

missing scholarship to really good

missing scholarship to really good school in America and to also make sure

school in America and to also make sure

school in America and to also make sure I have fulfilled my dreams she helps me

I have fulfilled my dreams she helps me

I have fulfilled my dreams she helps me make big choices and she’s always there

make big choices and she’s always there

make big choices and she’s always there for me my big sister and I were young we

for me my big sister and I were young we

for me my big sister and I were young we used to fight all the time we still do

used to fight all the time we still do

used to fight all the time we still do sometimes but we both know you love each

sometimes but we both know you love each

sometimes but we both know you love each other my little sister is also a person

other my little sister is also a person

other my little sister is also a person whom I truly respect even though she’s

whom I truly respect even though she’s

whom I truly respect even though she’s still little she has the personality of

still little she has the personality of

still little she has the personality of love and the kind of person she laughs

love and the kind of person she laughs

love and the kind of person she laughs every single day and that laugh makes

every single day and that laugh makes

every single day and that laugh makes everyone laugh she makes life worth

everyone laugh she makes life worth

everyone laugh she makes life worth living I participated in an exchange

living I participated in an exchange

living I participated in an exchange program to Japan just this past month

program to Japan just this past month

program to Japan just this past month during the first four days I’d be with

during the first four days I’d be with

during the first four days I’d be with my host family I was really homesick

my host family I was really homesick

my host family I was really homesick whenever I did something with my host

whenever I did something with my host

whenever I did something with my host family I wanted to be with my own family

family I wanted to be with my own family

family I wanted to be with my own family that month was where I truly realized

that month was where I truly realized

that month was where I truly realized you need your family you need them to be

you need your family you need them to be

you need your family you need them to be there you need them to care for you we

there you need them to care for you we

there you need them to care for you we are still teenagers I don’t get easier

are still teenagers I don’t get easier

are still teenagers I don’t get easier and there’s a good chance to become

and there’s a good chance to become

and there’s a good chance to become harder every single year so even if you

harder every single year so even if you

harder every single year so even if you think you do so much better without your

think you do so much better without your

think you do so much better without your loved ones think again remember all the

loved ones think again remember all the

loved ones think again remember all the times where a family member helped you

times where a family member helped you

times where a family member helped you with something for an example helping

with something for an example helping

with something for an example helping you with your homework cleaning your

you with your homework cleaning your

you with your homework cleaning your room making you food they may even want

room making you food they may even want

room making you food they may even want to listen to all your teenage problems

they’re always going to be there for you

they’re always going to be there for you even when you might not want it your

even when you might not want it your

even when you might not want it your high visualising life without specific

high visualising life without specific

high visualising life without specific members of your family I hope you

members of your family I hope you

members of your family I hope you typical ten-time team I know we are

typical ten-time team I know we are

typical ten-time team I know we are still teenagers and I suppose some of us

still teenagers and I suppose some of us

still teenagers and I suppose some of us won’t even think about these things but

won’t even think about these things but

won’t even think about these things but my recommendation to you is to do think

my recommendation to you is to do think

my recommendation to you is to do think about them in the end it won’t be a

about them in the end it won’t be a

about them in the end it won’t be a piece of clothing or a new iPhone that

piece of clothing or a new iPhone that

piece of clothing or a new iPhone that your best it’s going to be your own

your best it’s going to be your own

your best it’s going to be your own family

family

family one of the hardest parts of life is

one of the hardest parts of life is

one of the hardest parts of life is losing someone and not knowing what to

losing someone and not knowing what to

losing someone and not knowing what to do about it so when you ask yourself the

do about it so when you ask yourself the

do about it so when you ask yourself the question what now listen to the voice

question what now listen to the voice

question what now listen to the voice that comes from your heart listen to the

that comes from your heart listen to the

that comes from your heart listen to the voice where it says everything will be

voice where it says everything will be

voice where it says everything will be just fine as long as I people to love

just fine as long as I people to love

just fine as long as I people to love people who love me

people who love me

people who love me I lost my wonderful baby sister but I

I lost my wonderful baby sister but I

I lost my wonderful baby sister but I also gained the realization that love

also gained the realization that love

also gained the realization that love needs to be shown every single day you

needs to be shown every single day you

needs to be shown every single day you have those you care you have to show

have those you care you have to show

have those you care you have to show love he’s got a chance

”

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