autumn 2011 Malaysia I was staying at a big beautiful hotel it had a rooftop
big beautiful hotel it had a rooftop
big beautiful hotel it had a rooftop swimming pool the air was hot the
swimming pool the air was hot the
swimming pool the air was hot the breakfast every morning was amazing
breakfast every morning was amazing
breakfast every morning was amazing Asian food noodles vegetables the whole
Asian food noodles vegetables the whole
Asian food noodles vegetables the whole European thing ten different kinds of
European thing ten different kinds of
European thing ten different kinds of eggs Donuts it almost felt like a
eggs Donuts it almost felt like a
eggs Donuts it almost felt like a holiday but it wasn’t I was there for
holiday but it wasn’t I was there for
holiday but it wasn’t I was there for work great job you might think and it
work great job you might think and it
work great job you might think and it was a great job I was a trainer for a
was a great job I was a trainer for a
was a great job I was a trainer for a worldwide logistics company and yeah it
worldwide logistics company and yeah it
worldwide logistics company and yeah it paid well I had nice colleagues and who
paid well I had nice colleagues and who
paid well I had nice colleagues and who wouldn’t want to travel the world and
wouldn’t want to travel the world and
wouldn’t want to travel the world and get paid for it but that particular trip
get paid for it but that particular trip
get paid for it but that particular trip was tough
was tough
was tough I was working about 16 hours a day
I was working about 16 hours a day
I was working about 16 hours a day during the day I was delivering a
during the day I was delivering a
during the day I was delivering a training session for 12 lovely people
training session for 12 lovely people
training session for 12 lovely people but I was nervous the whole time because
but I was nervous the whole time because
but I was nervous the whole time because I just learned that topic myself in the
I just learned that topic myself in the
I just learned that topic myself in the previous weeks maybe you can imagine
previous weeks maybe you can imagine
previous weeks maybe you can imagine what it’s like it to be in front of a
what it’s like it to be in front of a
what it’s like it to be in front of a group and just sharing something for the
group and just sharing something for the
group and just sharing something for the first time and you get all these
first time and you get all these
first time and you get all these questions I didn’t know the answers and
questions I didn’t know the answers and
questions I didn’t know the answers and the software was having technical
the software was having technical
the software was having technical problems too so that meant that during
problems too so that meant that during
problems too so that meant that during the evening I was in my hotel room and I
the evening I was in my hotel room and I
the evening I was in my hotel room and I was working behind my laptop contacting
was working behind my laptop contacting
was working behind my laptop contacting the European expert and finding out all
the European expert and finding out all
the European expert and finding out all the answers I was stressed it was a
the answers I was stressed it was a
the answers I was stressed it was a great job but somehow I was there in
great job but somehow I was there in
great job but somehow I was there in that beautiful location feeling alone
that beautiful location feeling alone
that beautiful location feeling alone tired very nervous and unhappy ready my
tired very nervous and unhappy ready my
tired very nervous and unhappy ready my body had been given me warning signals I
body had been given me warning signals I
body had been given me warning signals I was suffering for weeks already from
was suffering for weeks already from
was suffering for weeks already from headaches and my back was hurting so I
headaches and my back was hurting so I
headaches and my back was hurting so I was seeing a physiotherapist for that I
was seeing a physiotherapist for that I
was seeing a physiotherapist for that I had RSI in my right arm couldn’t use it
had RSI in my right arm couldn’t use it
had RSI in my right arm couldn’t use it anymore so I used the computer with my
anymore so I used the computer with my
anymore so I used the computer with my left hand
left hand
left hand and I felt so tired most of the time mmm
and I felt so tired most of the time mmm
and I felt so tired most of the time mmm I saw those signs my manager saw them
I saw those signs my manager saw them
I saw those signs my manager saw them too she was worried Francine are you
too she was worried Francine are you
too she was worried Francine are you okay I take take care of myself
okay I take take care of myself
okay I take take care of myself exercise eat healthy you know take some
exercise eat healthy you know take some
exercise eat healthy you know take some time off but one day when I cycle to
time off but one day when I cycle to
time off but one day when I cycle to work I got off my bike and something
work I got off my bike and something
work I got off my bike and something cracked my back was stuck in this one
cracked my back was stuck in this one
cracked my back was stuck in this one position and I walked into the office
position and I walked into the office
position and I walked into the office like 90 year old grandmother and
like 90 year old grandmother and
like 90 year old grandmother and everybody said go home Francine I had
everybody said go home Francine I had
everybody said go home Francine I had tried to work on it but I felt stuck in
tried to work on it but I felt stuck in
tried to work on it but I felt stuck in this in this rat race I just had kept on
this in this rat race I just had kept on
this in this rat race I just had kept on running all the time so there was my
running all the time so there was my
running all the time so there was my back and one colleague dropped me off at
back and one colleague dropped me off at
back and one colleague dropped me off at home and my back had made sure I stopped
home and my back had made sure I stopped
home and my back had made sure I stopped running I was there in my bed most of
running I was there in my bed most of
running I was there in my bed most of the time I couldn’t move this hot pack
the time I couldn’t move this hot pack
the time I couldn’t move this hot pack in my back and I was in this great
in my back and I was in this great
in my back and I was in this great blurry world everything seemed
blurry world everything seemed
blurry world everything seemed slow-motion and I didn’t want to do
slow-motion and I didn’t want to do
slow-motion and I didn’t want to do anything anymore
anything anymore
anything anymore I didn’t want to see friends no
I didn’t want to see friends no
I didn’t want to see friends no television nothing everything collapsed
television nothing everything collapsed
television nothing everything collapsed and I didn’t know I don’t really know
and I didn’t know I don’t really know
and I didn’t know I don’t really know what happened those next week’s all I
what happened those next week’s all I
what happened those next week’s all I know that even doing the groceries was a
know that even doing the groceries was a
know that even doing the groceries was a big thing I saw all these colors and
big thing I saw all these colors and
big thing I saw all these colors and products and I didn’t know what to
products and I didn’t know what to
products and I didn’t know what to choose I didn’t recognize myself a few
choose I didn’t recognize myself a few
choose I didn’t recognize myself a few weeks later the company coach advised me
weeks later the company coach advised me
weeks later the company coach advised me to go back to work so I did for two
to go back to work so I did for two
to go back to work so I did for two hours a day and we built on the schedule
hours a day and we built on the schedule
hours a day and we built on the schedule to increase the hours and I went to four
to increase the hours and I went to four
to increase the hours and I went to four hours a day in six hours a day and it
hours a day in six hours a day and it
hours a day in six hours a day and it was so hard I was so tired most of the
was so hard I was so tired most of the
was so hard I was so tired most of the time so I failed and we went back to two
time so I failed and we went back to two
time so I failed and we went back to two hours and tried to build up and I failed
hours and tried to build up and I failed
hours and tried to build up and I failed again and I tried again and I tried
again and I tried again and I tried
again and I tried again and I tried again until I realized hey this isn’t
again until I realized hey this isn’t
again until I realized hey this isn’t going to work and do I even want to go
going to work and do I even want to go
going to work and do I even want to go back
now what there you are and you realize
now what there you are and you realize this isn’t going to work
this isn’t going to work
this isn’t going to work the first step forward for me was to
the first step forward for me was to
the first step forward for me was to stop doing what other people told me to
stop doing what other people told me to
stop doing what other people told me to because you know when you have a problem
because you know when you have a problem
because you know when you have a problem people seem to know what’s best for you
people seem to know what’s best for you
people seem to know what’s best for you and I listened and also to stop
and I listened and also to stop
and I listened and also to stop listening to this voice that I was
listening to this voice that I was
listening to this voice that I was meeting expectations of everybody and
meeting expectations of everybody and
meeting expectations of everybody and our clear remember going to the company
our clear remember going to the company
our clear remember going to the company coach and she was telling me something
coach and she was telling me something
coach and she was telling me something like let’s try for hours next week what
like let’s try for hours next week what
like let’s try for hours next week what do you think and I’d always followed her
do you think and I’d always followed her
do you think and I’d always followed her advice I didn’t know what else to do and
advice I didn’t know what else to do and
advice I didn’t know what else to do and I was scared they would fire me if I
I was scared they would fire me if I
I was scared they would fire me if I didn’t listen but for the first time I
didn’t listen but for the first time I
didn’t listen but for the first time I said no I really feel I should go home
said no I really feel I should go home
said no I really feel I should go home and rest and recover exercise and you
and rest and recover exercise and you
and rest and recover exercise and you know what she said she smiled at me and
know what she said she smiled at me and
know what she said she smiled at me and said good for you big step forward why
said good for you big step forward why
said good for you big step forward why she had been pushing me all the time I
she had been pushing me all the time I
she had been pushing me all the time I don’t know maybe company policy
don’t know maybe company policy
don’t know maybe company policy but that’s when my real recovery started
but that’s when my real recovery started
but that’s when my real recovery started I slept many hours a night often during
I slept many hours a night often during
I slept many hours a night often during the day too I started to exercise and I
the day too I started to exercise and I
the day too I started to exercise and I took time for self development
took time for self development
took time for self development soul-searching the perfectionist in me
soul-searching the perfectionist in me
soul-searching the perfectionist in me the pleaser in me how to deal with all
the pleaser in me how to deal with all
the pleaser in me how to deal with all that
that
that I watched inspiring YouTube clips but I
I watched inspiring YouTube clips but I
I watched inspiring YouTube clips but I got into the habit of collecting quotes
got into the habit of collecting quotes
got into the habit of collecting quotes that inspired me because honestly I felt
that inspired me because honestly I felt
that inspired me because honestly I felt like a failure I didn’t like I couldn’t
like a failure I didn’t like I couldn’t
like a failure I didn’t like I couldn’t do the things I used to do the way my
do the things I used to do the way my
do the things I used to do the way my colleagues looked at me at work it was
colleagues looked at me at work it was
colleagues looked at me at work it was terrible but quotes like these helped me
terrible but quotes like these helped me
terrible but quotes like these helped me to think hey the failures actually may
to think hey the failures actually may
to think hey the failures actually may be an opportunity this may be a place
be an opportunity this may be a place
be an opportunity this may be a place where I can make a new start and also
where I can make a new start and also
where I can make a new start and also this one I can be the pessimist and
this one I can be the pessimist and
this one I can be the pessimist and think why me and why is this happening
think why me and why is this happening
think why me and why is this happening but that’s not going to make my life any
but that’s not going to make my life any
but that’s not going to make my life any half
half
half I mean what what makes me smile I
I mean what what makes me smile I
I mean what what makes me smile I started to use inspiring questions and
started to use inspiring questions and
started to use inspiring questions and one of them was what lights my fire
one of them was what lights my fire
one of them was what lights my fire inside what would I do if I had no fear
inside what would I do if I had no fear
inside what would I do if I had no fear and what’s a next step I can take today
and what’s a next step I can take today
and what’s a next step I can take today in the direction of my dreams because
in the direction of my dreams because
in the direction of my dreams because you know many people I had dreams and
you know many people I had dreams and
you know many people I had dreams and they so far away too far but a step I
they so far away too far but a step I
they so far away too far but a step I can take today yeah I can think of some
can take today yeah I can think of some
can take today yeah I can think of some things and I started another thing I did
things and I started another thing I did
things and I started another thing I did was I made vision boards with all the
was I made vision boards with all the
was I made vision boards with all the things I love to have be do create it
things I love to have be do create it
things I love to have be do create it gave me a new sense of direction this is
gave me a new sense of direction this is
gave me a new sense of direction this is where I want to go to and I started
where I want to go to and I started
where I want to go to and I started visualizing myself do being that doing
visualizing myself do being that doing
visualizing myself do being that doing that and there was always music in it it
that and there was always music in it it
that and there was always music in it it led to one big answer do something with
led to one big answer do something with
led to one big answer do something with music and there was this inner critic
music and there was this inner critic
music and there was this inner critic voice oh my god what are you thinking
voice oh my god what are you thinking
voice oh my god what are you thinking who are you to sing or dance you don’t
who are you to sing or dance you don’t
who are you to sing or dance you don’t have an amazing voice like Whitney
have an amazing voice like Whitney
have an amazing voice like Whitney Houston my parents said will you have
Houston my parents said will you have
Houston my parents said will you have enough money to pay the rent
enough money to pay the rent
enough money to pay the rent I mean artists struggle but I remember
I mean artists struggle but I remember
I mean artists struggle but I remember as a child that’s me with headphones on
as a child that’s me with headphones on
as a child that’s me with headphones on I was a fan of music and when I was six
I was a fan of music and when I was six
I was a fan of music and when I was six years old my father bought this keyboard
years old my father bought this keyboard
years old my father bought this keyboard and I plugged in these earphones and
and I plugged in these earphones and
and I plugged in these earphones and there I was fantasizing and creating
there I was fantasizing and creating
there I was fantasizing and creating when I was 12 I started to do Latin and
when I was 12 I started to do Latin and
when I was 12 I started to do Latin and ballroom dancing with my brother and I
ballroom dancing with my brother and I
ballroom dancing with my brother and I loved it ah music makes me feel so good
loved it ah music makes me feel so good
loved it ah music makes me feel so good so I decided to give music a chance what
so I decided to give music a chance what
so I decided to give music a chance what would I do if I had no fear but the
would I do if I had no fear but the
would I do if I had no fear but the perfectionist in me wanted to do it
perfectionist in me wanted to do it
perfectionist in me wanted to do it perfect and if you want to do it perfect
perfect and if you want to do it perfect
perfect and if you want to do it perfect you can’t can start it and there was
you can’t can start it and there was
you can’t can start it and there was this other quote that coincidentally I
this other quote that coincidentally I
this other quote that coincidentally I saw at the hairdresser
saw at the hairdresser
saw at the hairdresser and it was in a magazine and it said
and it was in a magazine and it said
and it was in a magazine and it said just do it and fix it along the way just
just do it and fix it along the way just
just do it and fix it along the way just like so many companies have started in
like so many companies have started in
like so many companies have started in their attic was just one computer I got
their attic was just one computer I got
their attic was just one computer I got started I can’t explain you all the
started I can’t explain you all the
started I can’t explain you all the steps I took from that point on but I
steps I took from that point on but I
steps I took from that point on but I found a great vocal coach
found a great vocal coach
found a great vocal coach I didn’t return being a trainer instead
I didn’t return being a trainer instead
I didn’t return being a trainer instead I found a part-time job and on the side
I found a part-time job and on the side
I found a part-time job and on the side I started to develop myself as a singer
I started to develop myself as a singer
I started to develop myself as a singer honestly I was afraid to climb on stage
honestly I was afraid to climb on stage
honestly I was afraid to climb on stage I was a trainer I had some experience on
I was a trainer I had some experience on
I was a trainer I had some experience on stage speaking for people but singing I
stage speaking for people but singing I
stage speaking for people but singing I remember every week I prepared two songs
remember every week I prepared two songs
remember every week I prepared two songs and I went to this jam cafe and there I
and I went to this jam cafe and there I
and I went to this jam cafe and there I was with sweaty armpits and I climbed on
was with sweaty armpits and I climbed on
was with sweaty armpits and I climbed on stage gave the the party parts to the
stage gave the the party parts to the
stage gave the the party parts to the piano player and and I sang two songs
piano player and and I sang two songs
piano player and and I sang two songs and then I would come back again I found
and then I would come back again I found
and then I would come back again I found great musicians with whom I perform now
great musicians with whom I perform now
great musicians with whom I perform now and oh I found a great booking agents do
and oh I found a great booking agents do
and oh I found a great booking agents do and I stopped working with her because
and I stopped working with her because
and I stopped working with her because it didn’t feel right I struggled I
it didn’t feel right I struggled I
it didn’t feel right I struggled I didn’t know what to do often but I got
didn’t know what to do often but I got
didn’t know what to do often but I got started and I fixed it along the way
started and I fixed it along the way
started and I fixed it along the way because sometimes if you really want
because sometimes if you really want
because sometimes if you really want something and escape the situation
something and escape the situation
something and escape the situation you’re in if you’re not happy there do
you’re in if you’re not happy there do
you’re in if you’re not happy there do things that you’ve never done before and
things that you’ve never done before and
things that you’ve never done before and I did now I find myself at beautiful
I did now I find myself at beautiful
I did now I find myself at beautiful locations again like this core house in
locations again like this core house in
locations again like this core house in slave-owning where I perform for big
slave-owning where I perform for big
slave-owning where I perform for big gala days with a duo that I have with an
gala days with a duo that I have with an
gala days with a duo that I have with an amazing guitar player and I have a
amazing guitar player and I have a
amazing guitar player and I have a quartet and I can’t explain you what it
quartet and I can’t explain you what it
quartet and I can’t explain you what it makes me feel like to make other people
makes me feel like to make other people
makes me feel like to make other people happy with a fairy thing that makes my
happy with a fairy thing that makes my
happy with a fairy thing that makes my soul smart I’m doing it and I’m
soul smart I’m doing it and I’m
soul smart I’m doing it and I’m struggling yeah it’s not a fairy tale
struggling yeah it’s not a fairy tale
struggling yeah it’s not a fairy tale but it makes me happy
but it makes me happy
but it makes me happy now I’m not telling you this story and
now I’m not telling you this story and
now I’m not telling you this story and telling you you should all quit your job
telling you you should all quit your job
telling you you should all quit your job and follow your big passion you have
and follow your big passion you have
and follow your big passion you have your own reality to deal with but you
your own reality to deal with but you
your own reality to deal with but you may not sing but I strongly believe that
may not sing but I strongly believe that
may not sing but I strongly believe that there’s a song in your heart too and in
there’s a song in your heart too and in
there’s a song in your heart too and in case you need to hear it today I mean to
case you need to hear it today I mean to
case you need to hear it today I mean to help you remember in order to complete
help you remember in order to complete
help you remember in order to complete this title I’ll stop talking and start
this title I’ll stop talking and start
this title I’ll stop talking and start singing and I’d like to invite Paul to
singing and I’d like to invite Paul to
singing and I’d like to invite Paul to the stage who will play the piano the
the stage who will play the piano the
the stage who will play the piano the song we will perform is called left by
song we will perform is called left by
song we will perform is called left by the singer Karen bloomer I translated it
the singer Karen bloomer I translated it
the singer Karen bloomer I translated it into English and the title is now guts
into English and the title is now guts
into English and the title is now guts and I love that word because it refers
and I love that word because it refers
and I love that word because it refers to both sometimes you need to listen to
to both sometimes you need to listen to
to both sometimes you need to listen to that gut feeling and also have the guts
that gut feeling and also have the guts
that gut feeling and also have the guts to do something with it small step at a
to do something with it small step at a
to do something with it small step at a time
at the stock market and lore they loved
at the stock market and lore they loved him too
better than the best there was never
better than the best there was never ever
ever
ever food but more than words
food but more than words
food but more than words woke up scared and sweaty saw the
woke up scared and sweaty saw the
woke up scared and sweaty saw the nonsense
nonsense
nonsense in every standard
his travels around the world and sailed
his travels around the world and sailed away every day
away every day
away every day [Music]
[Music]
[Music] your voice changer I see you
your voice changer I see you
your voice changer I see you doing things that support you if you’ve
doing things that support you if you’ve
doing things that support you if you’ve got the
got the
got the then it’s better to late to realize this
then it’s better to late to realize this
then it’s better to late to realize this is not your fate let them shine
a covey filled with future and potential
a covey filled with future and potential but one day she thought I want to dance
but one day she thought I want to dance
but one day she thought I want to dance and sing
and sing
and sing she got rid which had had to smile for
she got rid which had had to smile for
she got rid which had had to smile for years
every day
every day you
you
you will you design
will you design
will you design inner voice change your life into
inner voice change your life into
inner voice change your life into something you love not for someone
something you love not for someone
something you love not for someone [Music]
[Music]
[Music] this is not your feet don’t reach to the
this is not your feet don’t reach to the
this is not your feet don’t reach to the stars but like I was shiny
in our mind we hear voices from our
in our mind we hear voices from our childhood don’t give up they say and
childhood don’t give up they say and
childhood don’t give up they say and always try to be the best you can
always try to be the best you can
always try to be the best you can whatever happens don’t you stop wakes
whatever happens don’t you stop wakes
whatever happens don’t you stop wakes reach out for a time until you is this
[Music]
[Music] a choice to your universe change your
a choice to your universe change your
a choice to your universe change your life into something you love to be
life into something you love to be
life into something you love to be yourself you must be true if you’ve got
yourself you must be true if you’ve got
yourself you must be true if you’ve got the
the
the [Music]
[Music]
[Music] don’t reach for the stars
do you read one to push it to the limit
do you read one to push it to the limit you can’t do that all your life take
you can’t do that all your life take
you can’t do that all your life take that from me
don’t please but keep your two hands
don’t please but keep your two hands over and inside
over and inside
over and inside [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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