talking about rush don’t we all feel rushed all the time every minute every
rushed all the time every minute every
rushed all the time every minute every second of our lives we need to be
second of our lives we need to be
second of our lives we need to be somewhere do something be someone we
somewhere do something be someone we
somewhere do something be someone we never pause to think and if something
never pause to think and if something
never pause to think and if something comes in our way we find it very hard to
comes in our way we find it very hard to
comes in our way we find it very hard to let go we become anxious depressed
let go we become anxious depressed
let go we become anxious depressed sometimes some of us even so with the
sometimes some of us even so with the
sometimes some of us even so with the suicidal well make things worse social
suicidal well make things worse social
suicidal well make things worse social media was introduced and now we’re no
media was introduced and now we’re no
media was introduced and now we’re no longer just in a rush but in competition
longer just in a rush but in competition
longer just in a rush but in competition with Samira with Alex have wood Smith
with Samira with Alex have wood Smith
with Samira with Alex have wood Smith and 300 other people that we follow but
and 300 other people that we follow but
and 300 other people that we follow but don’t know anything about on Facebook
don’t know anything about on Facebook
don’t know anything about on Facebook instant Instagram snapchat and whatever
instant Instagram snapchat and whatever
instant Instagram snapchat and whatever other social media outlets are there we
other social media outlets are there we
other social media outlets are there we forget that whatever is online is
forget that whatever is online is
forget that whatever is online is fabricated some of which staged so we
fabricated some of which staged so we
fabricated some of which staged so we started doing things not because we want
started doing things not because we want
started doing things not because we want to do it but because Jane and Jack went
to do it but because Jane and Jack went
to do it but because Jane and Jack went on that course or on that trip our our
on that course or on that trip our our
on that course or on that trip our our energies are wasted we feel empty I’m
energies are wasted we feel empty I’m
energies are wasted we feel empty I’m not shy to say here and for the first
not shy to say here and for the first
not shy to say here and for the first time in front of a lot of people that I
time in front of a lot of people that I
time in front of a lot of people that I was one of those people felt rushed most
was one of those people felt rushed most
was one of those people felt rushed most of her life I thought I lost three years
of her life I thought I lost three years
of her life I thought I lost three years of my life after coming back from
of my life after coming back from
of my life after coming back from Scotland because I had to change my
Scotland because I had to change my
Scotland because I had to change my undergrad degree I didn’t want to be a
undergrad degree I didn’t want to be a
undergrad degree I didn’t want to be a dentist anymore to make things worse
dentist anymore to make things worse
dentist anymore to make things worse I’m a Middle Eastern woman that means I
I’m a Middle Eastern woman that means I
I’m a Middle Eastern woman that means I have to be married at a certain age any
have to be married at a certain age any
have to be married at a certain age any middle-eastern woman in here correct me
middle-eastern woman in here correct me
middle-eastern woman in here correct me if I’m wrong 22 on average and to add on
if I’m wrong 22 on average and to add on
if I’m wrong 22 on average and to add on to the pressure my 17 year old sister
to the pressure my 17 year old sister
to the pressure my 17 year old sister younger than me was not only graduating
younger than me was not only graduating
younger than me was not only graduating from college at a time but was getting
from college at a time but was getting
from college at a time but was getting married I was a spinster at the age of
married I was a spinster at the age of
married I was a spinster at the age of 18 everywhere I went
18 everywhere I went
18 everywhere I went I’m serious people used to console me
I’m serious people used to console me
I’m serious people used to console me like pat on my back saying you’ll be
like pat on my back saying you’ll be
like pat on my back saying you’ll be okay
okay
okay it was bizarre I felt rushed I could not
it was bizarre I felt rushed I could not
it was bizarre I felt rushed I could not enjoy my university years I didn’t join
enjoy my university years I didn’t join
enjoy my university years I didn’t join any club
any club
any club I just wanted to graduate rush rush I
I just wanted to graduate rush rush I
I just wanted to graduate rush rush I got married rush rush six months into
got married rush rush six months into
got married rush rush six months into the marriage I got pregnant I couldn’t I
the marriage I got pregnant I couldn’t I
the marriage I got pregnant I couldn’t I gave birth I couldn’t rush that even if
gave birth I couldn’t rush that even if
gave birth I couldn’t rush that even if I wanted to the pregnancy was unplanned
I wanted to the pregnancy was unplanned
I wanted to the pregnancy was unplanned and so if threw me off my path
and so if threw me off my path
and so if threw me off my path completely I wanted that promotion so
completely I wanted that promotion so
completely I wanted that promotion so bad forty-five calendars calendar days
bad forty-five calendars calendar days
bad forty-five calendars calendar days not working days after giving birth and
not working days after giving birth and
not working days after giving birth and a c-section I gave my daughter to my mom
a c-section I gave my daughter to my mom
a c-section I gave my daughter to my mom and I went back to work to prove myself
and I went back to work to prove myself
and I went back to work to prove myself I found myself in a very very hectic
I found myself in a very very hectic
I found myself in a very very hectic place I could not enjoy any moment
place I could not enjoy any moment
place I could not enjoy any moment nothing matter and everything else other
nothing matter and everything else other
nothing matter and everything else other than work was a waste of time even
than work was a waste of time even
than work was a waste of time even spending time with my friends my routine
spending time with my friends my routine
spending time with my friends my routine consisted of me coming back from work
consisted of me coming back from work
consisted of me coming back from work really late spending one hour with my
really late spending one hour with my
really late spending one hour with my daughter her falling asleep on the sofa
daughter her falling asleep on the sofa
daughter her falling asleep on the sofa me replying to emails up to 2:00 a.m.
me replying to emails up to 2:00 a.m.
me replying to emails up to 2:00 a.m. and then falling asleep on that sofa
and then falling asleep on that sofa
and then falling asleep on that sofa next to her I even worked on weekends
next to her I even worked on weekends
next to her I even worked on weekends little did I know that the universe
little did I know that the universe
little did I know that the universe would conspire against me come on who
would conspire against me come on who
would conspire against me come on who has a contingency plan for their life
has a contingency plan for their life
has a contingency plan for their life maybe a plan B but not you know a plan C
maybe a plan B but not you know a plan C
maybe a plan B but not you know a plan C D or E who thinks about that and I had
D or E who thinks about that and I had
D or E who thinks about that and I had multiple curveballs not one in a span of
multiple curveballs not one in a span of
multiple curveballs not one in a span of two months and one year into my dream
two months and one year into my dream
two months and one year into my dream job just to put things into perspective
job just to put things into perspective
job just to put things into perspective my dream job was risk management that
my dream job was risk management that
my dream job was risk management that means I need to be focused I need
means I need to be focused I need
means I need to be focused I need to go through a part of data analysis
to go through a part of data analysis
to go through a part of data analysis and make sure the bank doesn’t lose
and make sure the bank doesn’t lose
and make sure the bank doesn’t lose their money I not only had to prove to
their money I not only had to prove to
their money I not only had to prove to my senior executive my technical
my senior executive my technical
my senior executive my technical capabilities but prove myself as a woman
capabilities but prove myself as a woman
capabilities but prove myself as a woman and as an Emirati and oh yeah it
and as an Emirati and oh yeah it
and as an Emirati and oh yeah it happened during 2009 during the economic
happened during 2009 during the economic
happened during 2009 during the economic recession my it was at the very testing
recession my it was at the very testing
recession my it was at the very testing place of time for my career life was
place of time for my career life was
place of time for my career life was hectic the first curve ball was an ear
hectic the first curve ball was an ear
hectic the first curve ball was an ear this traumatic event it left me with
this traumatic event it left me with
this traumatic event it left me with multiple bruises a ruptured eardrum
multiple bruises a ruptured eardrum
multiple bruises a ruptured eardrum post-traumatic stress disorder multiple
post-traumatic stress disorder multiple
post-traumatic stress disorder multiple concussions and yes a broken pinkie just
concussions and yes a broken pinkie just
concussions and yes a broken pinkie just for for the people who don’t know what
for for the people who don’t know what
for for the people who don’t know what PTSD is it’s a mental illness where you
PTSD is it’s a mental illness where you
PTSD is it’s a mental illness where you have flash back off the near-death
have flash back off the near-death
have flash back off the near-death situation during a normal course of the
situation during a normal course of the
situation during a normal course of the day and it paralyzes you I was released
day and it paralyzes you I was released
day and it paralyzes you I was released from the hospital without any doctor or
from the hospital without any doctor or
from the hospital without any doctor or psychologist talking to me about this
psychologist talking to me about this
psychologist talking to me about this emotional stress I did not know that I
emotional stress I did not know that I
emotional stress I did not know that I had PTSD it made things really
had PTSD it made things really
had PTSD it made things really interesting so I sued I’m still in my
interesting so I sued I’m still in my
interesting so I sued I’m still in my so-called Russ state so as soon as I was
so-called Russ state so as soon as I was
so-called Russ state so as soon as I was released from the hospital in the
released from the hospital in the
released from the hospital in the afternoon I went to work I wanted to be
afternoon I went to work I wanted to be
afternoon I went to work I wanted to be the employee of the month someone to
the employee of the month someone to
the employee of the month someone to work and when my casa pinkie came into
work and when my casa pinkie came into
work and when my casa pinkie came into the way I found some scissors and I cut
the way I found some scissors and I cut
the way I found some scissors and I cut cut the calf off to type yes I use all
cut the calf off to type yes I use all
cut the calf off to type yes I use all my fingers to type like I said I’m a bit
my fingers to type like I said I’m a bit
my fingers to type like I said I’m a bit weird you a left me with a crooked
weird you a left me with a crooked
weird you a left me with a crooked pinkie you can see it if you look close
pinkie you can see it if you look close
pinkie you can see it if you look close and I only have to fix it I have to go
and I only have to fix it I have to go
and I only have to fix it I have to go back to the hospital for them to break
back to the hospital for them to break
back to the hospital for them to break it again that was that’s not happening
it again that was that’s not happening
it again that was that’s not happening you would think that I would learn my
you would think that I would learn my
you would think that I would learn my lesson by then you know I have a crooked
lesson by then you know I have a crooked
lesson by then you know I have a crooked pinkie and all but no so whilst that was
pinkie and all but no so whilst that was
pinkie and all but no so whilst that was the state of delirium my mind was
the state of delirium my mind was
the state of delirium my mind was shifting from present to past due to
shifting from present to past due to
shifting from present to past due to certain triggers in my environment
certain triggers in my environment
certain triggers in my environment funnily it was my boss’s voice I not
funnily it was my boss’s voice I not
funnily it was my boss’s voice I not only had to deal with work raising a
only had to deal with work raising a
only had to deal with work raising a child on my own going to court hearings
child on my own going to court hearings
child on my own going to court hearings to get my divorce yes that was happening
to get my divorce yes that was happening
to get my divorce yes that was happening at the same time as well but also wound
at the same time as well but also wound
at the same time as well but also wound started showing up on my ankles out of
started showing up on my ankles out of
started showing up on my ankles out of nowhere
nowhere
nowhere if felt like acid was pouring on my feet
if felt like acid was pouring on my feet
if felt like acid was pouring on my feet my flesh started breaking from inside
my flesh started breaking from inside
my flesh started breaking from inside out and no doctor could tell me what was
out and no doctor could tell me what was
out and no doctor could tell me what was wrong but they all agreed on one thing
wrong but they all agreed on one thing
wrong but they all agreed on one thing that they had to stuff my legs into
that they had to stuff my legs into
that they had to stuff my legs into compression stocking this up to here for
compression stocking this up to here for
compression stocking this up to here for blood to flow to my scars for my scars
blood to flow to my scars for my scars
blood to flow to my scars for my scars to heal I felt like his sausage
my schedule looked like something like
my schedule looked like something like this it was like a downward spiral of
this it was like a downward spiral of
this it was like a downward spiral of emotional hurricane I wake up happy I
emotional hurricane I wake up happy I
emotional hurricane I wake up happy I become very sad and I could break down
become very sad and I could break down
become very sad and I could break down in the car and then my PTSD is triggered
in the car and then my PTSD is triggered
in the car and then my PTSD is triggered I’ve become anxious again and back to
I’ve become anxious again and back to
I’ve become anxious again and back to happiness and yeah you can see I started
happiness and yeah you can see I started
happiness and yeah you can see I started having panic attacks any normal person I
having panic attacks any normal person I
having panic attacks any normal person I think would have panic attacks and the
think would have panic attacks and the
think would have panic attacks and the panic attacks got worse when one of my
panic attacks got worse when one of my
panic attacks got worse when one of my doctor decided to tell me via email that
doctor decided to tell me via email that
doctor decided to tell me via email that I had an autoimmune disorder so not only
I had an autoimmune disorder so not only
I had an autoimmune disorder so not only was I dealing with external obstacles in
was I dealing with external obstacles in
was I dealing with external obstacles in my way my buddy was fighting against me
my way my buddy was fighting against me
my way my buddy was fighting against me my world was starting to crumble down I
my world was starting to crumble down I
my world was starting to crumble down I was never 100% I started breaking down
was never 100% I started breaking down
was never 100% I started breaking down even at work I would go to the toilet
even at work I would go to the toilet
even at work I would go to the toilet and cry without so no one can see me I
and cry without so no one can see me I
and cry without so no one can see me I nearly lost my dream job my relationship
nearly lost my dream job my relationship
nearly lost my dream job my relationship with my daughter
with my daughter
with my daughter of course my sanity I know everyone’s
of course my sanity I know everyone’s
of course my sanity I know everyone’s thinking she didn’t mention any friends
thinking she didn’t mention any friends
thinking she didn’t mention any friends or family or support no they were around
or family or support no they were around
or family or support no they were around and they were very supportive but they
and they were very supportive but they
and they were very supportive but they could not put themselves in my shoes
could not put themselves in my shoes
could not put themselves in my shoes they did not understand what was going
they did not understand what was going
they did not understand what was going on until one day a very close friend of
on until one day a very close friend of
on until one day a very close friend of mine who was worried that I might go on
mine who was worried that I might go on
mine who was worried that I might go on a bender or get addicted to xanax or
a bender or get addicted to xanax or
a bender or get addicted to xanax or something asked if I wanted to join him
something asked if I wanted to join him
something asked if I wanted to join him at his support group which was
at his support group which was
at his support group which was unconventional for my issues and
unconventional for my issues and
unconventional for my issues and unconventional for an Emirati
unconventional for an Emirati
unconventional for an Emirati I was feared about being judged but I
I was feared about being judged but I
I was feared about being judged but I was already rock bottom I had nothing to
was already rock bottom I had nothing to
was already rock bottom I had nothing to lose so I decided to go and guess what
lose so I decided to go and guess what
lose so I decided to go and guess what it was the best thing I’ve ever done
it was the best thing I’ve ever done
it was the best thing I’ve ever done this group has the process in place and
this group has the process in place and
this group has the process in place and a serenity prayer
a serenity prayer
a serenity prayer thus arranged a prayer was so surreal
thus arranged a prayer was so surreal
thus arranged a prayer was so surreal that I wrote it down on paper and I wore
that I wrote it down on paper and I wore
that I wrote it down on paper and I wore it around my neck for a very long time
what resonated with me from this group
what resonated with me from this group is the importance of having a support
is the importance of having a support
is the importance of having a support somewhere where you can feel safe you
somewhere where you can feel safe you
somewhere where you can feel safe you can remove all the masks you wear during
can remove all the masks you wear during
can remove all the masks you wear during the day no one will judge you the other
the day no one will judge you the other
the day no one will judge you the other thing that resonated with me is the idea
thing that resonated with me is the idea
thing that resonated with me is the idea of living in the now so the idea of
of living in the now so the idea of
of living in the now so the idea of living in the now
living in the now
living in the now not new we all know it it’s a pillar to
not new we all know it it’s a pillar to
not new we all know it it’s a pillar to buddhism and taoism it’s the hottest
buddhism and taoism it’s the hottest
buddhism and taoism it’s the hottest topic of the year as companies and
topic of the year as companies and
topic of the year as companies and schools are introducing mindfulness to
schools are introducing mindfulness to
schools are introducing mindfulness to the routines of their employees and
the routines of their employees and
the routines of their employees and students especially as most of us now
students especially as most of us now
students especially as most of us now live to capture the moment than live for
live to capture the moment than live for
live to capture the moment than live for the moment what is meant by living in
the moment what is meant by living in
the moment what is meant by living in the now is that you have control only on
the now is that you have control only on
the now is that you have control only on your current actions and habits that
your current actions and habits that
your current actions and habits that tomorrow is gone and the future is yet
tomorrow is gone and the future is yet
tomorrow is gone and the future is yet to come to be able to live in the now
to come to be able to live in the now
to come to be able to live in the now and let’s break down the prayer for you
and let’s break down the prayer for you
and let’s break down the prayer for you to make this more easy grant me the
to make this more easy grant me the
to make this more easy grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
serenity to accept the things I cannot
serenity to accept the things I cannot change that means you have to find the
change that means you have to find the
change that means you have to find the strength and inner peace to let go
strength and inner peace to let go
strength and inner peace to let go stress does not come from time you know
stress does not come from time you know
stress does not come from time you know from the fear of having no time to do
from the fear of having no time to do
from the fear of having no time to do something but actually stress comes from
something but actually stress comes from
something but actually stress comes from the idea that with the desire that we
the idea that with the desire that we
the idea that with the desire that we have to control everything if we don’t
have to control everything if we don’t
have to control everything if we don’t let go we become obsessed and so enraged
let go we become obsessed and so enraged
let go we become obsessed and so enraged and sometimes depressed if we let go you
and sometimes depressed if we let go you
and sometimes depressed if we let go you become calm you are in a better mental
become calm you are in a better mental
become calm you are in a better mental position to make decisions for me it was
position to make decisions for me it was
position to make decisions for me it was to accept the fact that I had an
to accept the fact that I had an
to accept the fact that I had an untreatable blood condition and I could
untreatable blood condition and I could
untreatable blood condition and I could no longer feel my legs even as I speak
no longer feel my legs even as I speak
no longer feel my legs even as I speak right now it was also the fact that I
right now it was also the fact that I
right now it was also the fact that I had to forgive a lot let go of that post
had to forgive a lot let go of that post
had to forgive a lot let go of that post traumatic event that was caused by an
traumatic event that was caused by an
traumatic event that was caused by an external factor and not by myself I have
external factor and not by myself I have
external factor and not by myself I have a coping mechanism I give myself a five
a coping mechanism I give myself a five
a coping mechanism I give myself a five minute break down time and I usually cry
minute break down time and I usually cry
minute break down time and I usually cry know that that’s an understatement I
know that that’s an understatement I
know that that’s an understatement I weep I passionately weep it makes me
weep I passionately weep it makes me
weep I passionately weep it makes me feel better the second line in the
feel better the second line in the
feel better the second line in the prayer says courage to change the things
prayer says courage to change the things
prayer says courage to change the things I can you need to find your own passion
I can you need to find your own passion
I can you need to find your own passion life you can be one of two people people
life you can be one of two people people
life you can be one of two people people who sulk or complain or those who find a
who sulk or complain or those who find a
who sulk or complain or those who find a way they dig deep put away usually you
way they dig deep put away usually you
way they dig deep put away usually you remain in
remain in
remain in because of fear nothing else but fear
because of fear nothing else but fear
because of fear nothing else but fear you’re worried that the other you know
you’re worried that the other you know
you’re worried that the other you know the green is not the grasses the green
the green is not the grasses the green
the green is not the grasses the green the grass is not greener on the other
the grass is not greener on the other
the grass is not greener on the other side and so you stay in your comfort
side and so you stay in your comfort
side and so you stay in your comfort zone remember that all problems have a
zone remember that all problems have a
zone remember that all problems have a solution you just need to change your
solution you just need to change your
solution you just need to change your perspective on life and become more
perspective on life and become more
perspective on life and become more self-aware
self-aware
self-aware by becoming more self-aware you know
by becoming more self-aware you know
by becoming more self-aware you know your stressors your motivators your
your stressors your motivators your
your stressors your motivators your passions your weaknesses and your
passions your weaknesses and your
passions your weaknesses and your strengths you know who you are so you
strengths you know who you are so you
strengths you know who you are so you become intentional and pragmatic I now
become intentional and pragmatic I now
become intentional and pragmatic I now have a simple formula for my problems
have a simple formula for my problems
have a simple formula for my problems and I hope it helps you the problem
and I hope it helps you the problem
and I hope it helps you the problem equals can I and I emphasize on the word
equals can I and I emphasize on the word
equals can I and I emphasize on the word I cuz know no one else’s opinion should
I cuz know no one else’s opinion should
I cuz know no one else’s opinion should matter as long as you’re not harming
matter as long as you’re not harming
matter as long as you’re not harming them can I live with it or can I find a
them can I live with it or can I find a
them can I live with it or can I find a solution if you do not have the solution
solution if you do not have the solution
solution if you do not have the solution someone in your network will have it you
someone in your network will have it you
someone in your network will have it you just have to have the humility to go ask
just have to have the humility to go ask
just have to have the humility to go ask for help and flag you’re flawed another
for help and flag you’re flawed another
for help and flag you’re flawed another thing very important to be present is to
thing very important to be present is to
thing very important to be present is to have a month and to have a singular
have a month and to have a singular
have a month and to have a singular focus on the person you’re talking to
focus on the person you’re talking to
focus on the person you’re talking to the idea you’re thinking off or the work
the idea you’re thinking off or the work
the idea you’re thinking off or the work that you’re doing just right now
that you’re doing just right now
that you’re doing just right now multitasking and I know most women think
multitasking and I know most women think
multitasking and I know most women think multitasking works but it doesn’t if you
multitasking works but it doesn’t if you
multitasking works but it doesn’t if you want to be present the last statement of
want to be present the last statement of
want to be present the last statement of the prayer says the wisdom to know the
the prayer says the wisdom to know the
the prayer says the wisdom to know the difference so once you let go of things
difference so once you let go of things
difference so once you let go of things you cannot change and have the courage
you cannot change and have the courage
you cannot change and have the courage to change the things you can now you
to change the things you can now you
to change the things you can now you become resilient you are present
become resilient you are present
become resilient you are present I know it’s human nature to think ahead
I know it’s human nature to think ahead
I know it’s human nature to think ahead of plan but what about right now what
of plan but what about right now what
of plan but what about right now what about this minute cherish it
about this minute cherish it
about this minute cherish it or you’re going to lose it and then I’d
or you’re going to lose it and then I’d
or you’re going to lose it and then I’d like to say that life is all about
like to say that life is all about
like to say that life is all about perspective and mindset focus and energy
perspective and mindset focus and energy
perspective and mindset focus and energy are two things you need to be present a
are two things you need to be present a
are two things you need to be present a minute is very unforgiving it only gives
minute is very unforgiving it only gives
minute is very unforgiving it only gives you 60 seconds whoever you are just 60
you 60 seconds whoever you are just 60
you 60 seconds whoever you are just 60 seconds whatever your situation is the
seconds whatever your situation is the
seconds whatever your situation is the question is what are you going to do
question is what are you going to do
question is what are you going to do with these 60 seconds are you going to
with these 60 seconds are you going to
with these 60 seconds are you going to be a slave of time
be a slave of time
be a slave of time are you going to cherish those 60
are you going to cherish those 60
are you going to cherish those 60 seconds be yourself find your own rhythm
seconds be yourself find your own rhythm
seconds be yourself find your own rhythm and path and life don’t be like me and I
and path and life don’t be like me and I
and path and life don’t be like me and I urge you please not to wait for some
urge you please not to wait for some
urge you please not to wait for some suffering to happen or a traumatic event
suffering to happen or a traumatic event
suffering to happen or a traumatic event to change your way in life it’s not a
to change your way in life it’s not a
to change your way in life it’s not a very difficult thing to do to be present
very difficult thing to do to be present
very difficult thing to do to be present you just need to close your eyes close
you just need to close your eyes close
you just need to close your eyes close your eyes breathe feel you’re already
your eyes breathe feel you’re already
your eyes breathe feel you’re already there thank you
there thank you
there thank you [Applause]
”
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