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Who we are and who we dream of being | Kelly James | TEDxCuracao


I’m from a small town called Muskogee

I’m from a small town called Muskogee Oklahoma some of you guys have probably

Oklahoma some of you guys have probably

Oklahoma some of you guys have probably never heard of it it’s a small town

never heard of it it’s a small town

never heard of it it’s a small town about 35,000 people but it’s really not

about 35,000 people but it’s really not

about 35,000 people but it’s really not a good place it actually were actually

a good place it actually were actually

a good place it actually were actually four times the national average when it

four times the national average when it

four times the national average when it comes to crime rate and we’re listening

comes to crime rate and we’re listening

comes to crime rate and we’re listening one of the top 100 most violent cities

one of the top 100 most violent cities

one of the top 100 most violent cities in America so as you can imagine this

in America so as you can imagine this

in America so as you can imagine this created for a very interesting childhood

created for a very interesting childhood

created for a very interesting childhood and my whole life was not much better

and my whole life was not much better

and my whole life was not much better there’s just there was drugs alcohol

there’s just there was drugs alcohol

there’s just there was drugs alcohol abuse you name it it happened in my home

abuse you name it it happened in my home

abuse you name it it happened in my home and what I remember most from my

and what I remember most from my

and what I remember most from my childhood hey that’s me what I remember

childhood hey that’s me what I remember

childhood hey that’s me what I remember most of my childhood is the messages

most of my childhood is the messages

most of my childhood is the messages that I would receive from the people

that I would receive from the people

that I would receive from the people that I loved and they told me that

that I loved and they told me that

that I loved and they told me that you’re never going to be anything you’re

you’re never going to be anything you’re

you’re never going to be anything you’re going to end up in prison your end up

going to end up in prison your end up

going to end up in prison your end up dead as a matter of fact they told me

dead as a matter of fact they told me

dead as a matter of fact they told me I’d never see my 20th birthday well I

I’d never see my 20th birthday well I

I’d never see my 20th birthday well I did make it to 20 years old a little

did make it to 20 years old a little

did make it to 20 years old a little past an hour but on my 20th birthday my

past an hour but on my 20th birthday my

past an hour but on my 20th birthday my life changed dramatically me and a

life changed dramatically me and a

life changed dramatically me and a friend went to a nightclub as 20 year

friend went to a nightclub as 20 year

friend went to a nightclub as 20 year olds do and we were having a good time

olds do and we were having a good time

olds do and we were having a good time drinking talking to girls it was very

drinking talking to girls it was very

drinking talking to girls it was very packed and I remember seeing my friend

packed and I remember seeing my friend

packed and I remember seeing my friend running towards me and I knew something

running towards me and I knew something

running towards me and I knew something was wrong and he had been an altercation

was wrong and he had been an altercation

was wrong and he had been an altercation with a group of people that were there

with a group of people that were there

with a group of people that were there and he pulled out a gun and he emptied

and he pulled out a gun and he emptied

and he pulled out a gun and he emptied the clip to the ground and it jammed and

the clip to the ground and it jammed and

the clip to the ground and it jammed and there was so much happening at this

there was so much happening at this

there was so much happening at this moment they were fighting and we were

moment they were fighting and we were

moment they were fighting and we were all standing around watching the fight

all standing around watching the fight

all standing around watching the fight and I remember looking next to me I felt

and I remember looking next to me I felt

and I remember looking next to me I felt something cold touch my hand and I

something cold touch my hand and I

something cold touch my hand and I realized that the person standing next

realized that the person standing next

realized that the person standing next to

to

to he had a gun also and you know how in

he had a gun also and you know how in

he had a gun also and you know how in the movies they slowed everything down

the movies they slowed everything down

the movies they slowed everything down and and everything is happening in slow

and and everything is happening in slow

and and everything is happening in slow motion well that’s exactly the way it

motion well that’s exactly the way it

motion well that’s exactly the way it was happening he pulled up the gun and

was happening he pulled up the gun and

was happening he pulled up the gun and he pointed it he was standing so close

he pointed it he was standing so close

he pointed it he was standing so close the barrel that gun touched the back of

the barrel that gun touched the back of

the barrel that gun touched the back of my friend and he pulled the trigger boom

my friend and he pulled the trigger boom

my friend and he pulled the trigger boom boom I don’t remember how many shots he

boom I don’t remember how many shots he

boom I don’t remember how many shots he fired I wasn’t afraid I just wanted to

fired I wasn’t afraid I just wanted to

fired I wasn’t afraid I just wanted to see who this person was and I expected

see who this person was and I expected

see who this person was and I expected to see this cold evil person but when I

to see this cold evil person but when I

to see this cold evil person but when I looked over to him because literally

looked over to him because literally

looked over to him because literally he’s standing right here I didn’t see

he’s standing right here I didn’t see

he’s standing right here I didn’t see that at all I actually saw somebody who

that at all I actually saw somebody who

that at all I actually saw somebody who was afraid and I saw somebody who

was afraid and I saw somebody who

was afraid and I saw somebody who regretted the decision that he had just

regretted the decision that he had just

regretted the decision that he had just made and he dropped the gun and ran out

made and he dropped the gun and ran out

made and he dropped the gun and ran out and I went over to my friend and as he

and I went over to my friend and as he

and I went over to my friend and as he was taking his last breath I remember

was taking his last breath I remember

was taking his last breath I remember looking in his eyes and seeing something

looking in his eyes and seeing something

looking in his eyes and seeing something very similar he was afraid and he

very similar he was afraid and he

very similar he was afraid and he regretted the choices and decisions that

regretted the choices and decisions that

regretted the choices and decisions that he had made in his life so I went home

he had made in his life so I went home

he had made in his life so I went home that night and as you can imagine I

that night and as you can imagine I

that night and as you can imagine I didn’t sleep very well and I began

didn’t sleep very well and I began

didn’t sleep very well and I began thinking about the choices and decisions

thinking about the choices and decisions

thinking about the choices and decisions that I was making for my life because

that I was making for my life because

that I was making for my life because the life that I was told that I was

the life that I was told that I was

the life that I was told that I was supposed to have that was just my

supposed to have that was just my

supposed to have that was just my environment that’s just what I believed

environment that’s just what I believed

environment that’s just what I believed it was supposed to be and so did they

it was supposed to be and so did they

it was supposed to be and so did they and I began to think about what if they

and I began to think about what if they

and I began to think about what if they had made better choices what have they

had made better choices what have they

had made better choices what have they had made better decisions about their

had made better decisions about their

had made better decisions about their lives what would have happened what

lives what would have happened what

lives what would have happened what decisions can i make about my life right

decisions can i make about my life right

decisions can i make about my life right now in that moment so i made a decision

now in that moment so i made a decision

now in that moment so i made a decision that day that i was going to create the

that day that i was going to create the

that day that i was going to create the life that I wanted regardless of my

life that I wanted regardless of my

life that I wanted regardless of my situation regardless of where I lived I

situation regardless of where I lived I

situation regardless of where I lived I was going to create the life that I

was going to create the life that I

was going to create the life that I wanted and I did so there’s some

wanted and I did so there’s some

wanted and I did so there’s some happiness

happiness

happiness to the story this is where I moved to

to the story this is where I moved to

to the story this is where I moved to Houston Texas much better place great

Houston Texas much better place great

Houston Texas much better place great job and I said you know what if i’m

job and I said you know what if i’m

job and I said you know what if i’m going to write this story let me write

going to write this story let me write

going to write this story let me write it the way I want to write it so we’re

it the way I want to write it so we’re

it the way I want to write it so we’re going to live in a nice city why don’t I

going to live in a nice city why don’t I

going to live in a nice city why don’t I add a wife beautiful wife and kids let’s

add a wife beautiful wife and kids let’s

add a wife beautiful wife and kids let’s see what how that turned out there she

see what how that turned out there she

see what how that turned out there she is haha two kids and to me before this

is haha two kids and to me before this

is haha two kids and to me before this this was never possible this is not what

this was never possible this is not what

this was never possible this is not what I saw I didn’t see this growing up and I

I saw I didn’t see this growing up and I

I saw I didn’t see this growing up and I chose to make this happen for my life

chose to make this happen for my life

chose to make this happen for my life and then I wanted to make a lot of money

and then I wanted to make a lot of money

and then I wanted to make a lot of money and I saw people who did sales I said

and I saw people who did sales I said

and I saw people who did sales I said you know I want to do sales too I want

you know I want to do sales too I want

you know I want to do sales too I want to make a six-figure income so you know

to make a six-figure income so you know

to make a six-figure income so you know what I said let’s see if we can make

what I said let’s see if we can make

what I said let’s see if we can make that happen and there it is this was my

that happen and there it is this was my

that happen and there it is this was my team i ran for fortune 500 company at a

team i ran for fortune 500 company at a

team i ran for fortune 500 company at a home depot but but i tell you this story

home depot but but i tell you this story

home depot but but i tell you this story because the people that I work with now

because the people that I work with now

because the people that I work with now I work with introverts you guys may have

I work with introverts you guys may have

I work with introverts you guys may have noticed that from my introduction I work

noticed that from my introduction I work

noticed that from my introduction I work with introverts in my business because

with introverts in my business because

with introverts in my business because these people people who are introverts

these people people who are introverts

these people people who are introverts have been told that there are only

have been told that there are only

have been told that there are only certain jobs that they can work they

certain jobs that they can work they

certain jobs that they can work they have to be the super social people to be

have to be the super social people to be

have to be the super social people to be successful and it reminds me so much of

successful and it reminds me so much of

successful and it reminds me so much of my story of growing up where somebody

my story of growing up where somebody

my story of growing up where somebody told me that I had to be something a

told me that I had to be something a

told me that I had to be something a certain way to be successful and I’m

certain way to be successful and I’m

certain way to be successful and I’m here to tell you guys that you can

here to tell you guys that you can

here to tell you guys that you can choose the life that you want you can

choose the life that you want you can

choose the life that you want you can truly design the life that you want and

truly design the life that you want and

truly design the life that you want and I want to share with you guys what I’ve

I want to share with you guys what I’ve

I want to share with you guys what I’ve shared with them to design their life

shared with them to design their life

shared with them to design their life for the people that I mentor and the

for the people that I mentor and the

for the people that I mentor and the people are mentoring business as

people are mentoring business as

people are mentoring business as introverts so the first thing I tell

introverts so the first thing I tell

introverts so the first thing I tell them is listen first of all except the

them is listen first of all except the

them is listen first of all except the things about you that you cannot change

things about you that you cannot change

things about you that you cannot change if you’re an introvert if you had a

if you’re an introvert if you had a

if you’re an introvert if you had a tough upbringing whatever it is you just

tough upbringing whatever it is you just

tough upbringing whatever it is you just accept it and move on it is what it is

accept it and move on it is what it is

accept it and move on it is what it is let’s move forward number two you have

let’s move forward number two you have

let’s move forward number two you have to believe in the things that are great

to believe in the things that are great

to believe in the things that are great about you because each of you have

about you because each of you have

about you because each of you have something that’s great about you so you

something that’s great about you so you

something that’s great about you so you have two apps absolutely believe in that

have two apps absolutely believe in that

have two apps absolutely believe in that and number three you have to have the

and number three you have to have the

and number three you have to have the courage to go after what you want in

courage to go after what you want in

courage to go after what you want in life you actually you absolutely have to

life you actually you absolutely have to

life you actually you absolutely have to do that

do that

do that there’s a quote by Meg Cabot and it says

there’s a quote by Meg Cabot and it says

there’s a quote by Meg Cabot and it says courage is not the absence of fear but

courage is not the absence of fear but

courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is

rather the judgment that something is

rather the judgment that something is more important than that fear the brave

more important than that fear the brave

more important than that fear the brave may not live forever but the cautious do

may not live forever but the cautious do

may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all from now on you are

not live at all from now on you are

not live at all from now on you are traveling the road between who you think

traveling the road between who you think

traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be the key is to

you are and who you can be the key is to

you are and who you can be the key is to allow yourself to make the journey thank

allow yourself to make the journey thank

allow yourself to make the journey thank you

you

you [Applause]

”

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