00:00:06a very tragic event I was uh
00:00:09I may be 19 and my girlfriend at the
00:00:12time was killed in a car accident and I
00:00:15passed the accident and I didn’t know it
00:00:17was her and I kept going and I found out
00:00:20shortly after that I was hurt and I was
00:00:25living in a basement apartment I had no
00:00:28money I had no heat nowhere I had a
00:00:31mattress on the floor and the apartment
00:00:34was infested with fleas and I was soul
00:00:36searching I was like why is she suddenly
00:00:38gone and there are fleas here I don’t
00:00:41understand there must be a purpose and
00:00:43wouldn’t it be so convenient if we could
00:00:44just pick up the phone and call God and
00:00:46ask these questions and I started
00:00:49writing and what poured out of me was an
00:00:51imaginary conversation with God which
00:00:54was one-sided and I finished writing it
00:00:56and I looked at it and I said to myself
00:00:59and I hadn’t even been doing stand-up
00:01:02ever there was no Club in town I said
00:01:04I’m gonna do this on The Tonight Show
00:01:05with Johnny Carson at the time he was
00:01:07the king and I’m gonna be the first
00:01:09woman in the history of the show to be
00:01:11called over to sit down and several
00:01:14years later I was the first woman in the
00:01:15history of the show and only woman has
00:01:17really showed to sit down because of
00:01:20that phone conversation with God that I
00:01:21wrote
00:01:22I started this path of stand-up and it
00:01:27was successful and it was great but it
00:01:30was hard because I was trying to please
00:01:33everybody and I had this secret that I
00:01:35was keeping that I was gay and I thought
00:01:36if people found out they wouldn’t like
00:01:38me they wouldn’t laugh at me
00:01:39then my career turned into I got my own
00:01:42sitcom and that was very successful
00:01:45another level of success and I thought
00:01:47what if they find out I’m gay then
00:01:48they’ll never watch and I finally
00:01:52decided that I was living with so much
00:01:54shame and so much fear that I just
00:01:58couldn’t live that way anymore and I
00:01:59decided to come out and make it creative
00:02:01and my character would come out at the
00:02:02same time and it wasn’t to make a
00:02:04political statement it wasn’t to do
00:02:05anything other than to free myself up
00:02:07from this heaviness that I was carrying
00:02:08around I just wanted to be honest and I
00:02:11thought what’s the worst that can happen
00:02:12I can lose my career I did I lost my
00:02:16career I got the show was cancelled
00:02:19after six years without even telling me
00:02:21I read in the paper
00:02:24the phone didn’t ring for three years I
00:02:26had no offers nobody wanted to touch me
00:02:30at all and yet I was getting letters
00:02:34from kids that almost committed suicide
00:02:37but didn’t because of what I did and I
00:02:39realized that I had a purpose and it
00:02:42wasn’t just about me and it wasn’t about
00:02:43celebrity but I felt like I was being
00:02:45punished and it was a bad time I was
00:02:48angry I was sad and then I was offered a
00:02:50talk show and the people that offered me
00:02:53the talk show tried to sell it and most
00:02:56stations didn’t want to pick it up most
00:02:58people didn’t want to buy it because
00:02:58they thought nobody would watch me and
00:03:02really when I look back on it I wouldn’t
00:03:04change a thing I mean it was so
00:03:06importantly for me to lose everything
00:03:08because I found out what what the most
00:03:11important thing is is to be true to
00:03:12yourself and ultimately that’s that’s
00:03:16what’s gotten me to this place I don’t
00:03:17live in fear I’m free I have no secrets
00:03:20and I know I’ll always be okay because
00:03:22no matter what I Know Who I am so in
00:03:25conclusion when I was younger I thought
00:03:28success was something different I
00:03:30thought when I grow up I want to be
00:03:32famous but my idea success is different
00:03:38today and as you grow you’ll realize
00:03:39definition of success changes for me the
00:03:41most important thing in your life is to
00:03:43live your life with integrity and not to
00:03:46give in to peer pressure to try to be
00:03:47something that you’re not to live your
00:03:49life as an honest and compassionate
00:03:51person to contribute in some way
00:03:53follow your passion stay true to
00:03:55yourself never follow someone else’s
00:03:57path unless you’re in the woods and your
00:03:58loss and you see a path and by all means
00:04:00you should follow that
00:04:01you
00:04:05[Music]
”