oh you shouldn’t have you really shouldn’t have Mele Kalikimaka is the
shouldn’t have Mele Kalikimaka is the
shouldn’t have Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian
thing to say on a bright Hawaiian
thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day welcome to watchmojo.com
Christmas day welcome to watchmojo.com
Christmas day welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’ll be counting down our
and today we’ll be counting down our
and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the top ten worst Christmas
picks for the top ten worst Christmas
picks for the top ten worst Christmas songs for today’s list we’ll be looking
songs for today’s list we’ll be looking
songs for today’s list we’ll be looking at the Christmas songs that make you
at the Christmas songs that make you
at the Christmas songs that make you wonder if once a year is just a little
wonder if once a year is just a little
wonder if once a year is just a little too often while Christmas songs in
too often while Christmas songs in
too often while Christmas songs in general are a mixed bag to say the least
general are a mixed bag to say the least
general are a mixed bag to say the least we will be looking at particular
we will be looking at particular
we will be looking at particular recordings rather than just the songs in
recordings rather than just the songs in
recordings rather than just the songs in general which I assume that they had
general which I assume that they had
general which I assume that they had somebody
somebody
somebody [Music]
[Music]
[Music] number ten I’m getting nuttin for
number ten I’m getting nuttin for
number ten I’m getting nuttin for Christmas reliant K
dating back to 1955 nuttin for Christmas
dating back to 1955 nuttin for Christmas is a weak member of the Christmas canon
is a weak member of the Christmas canon
is a weak member of the Christmas canon at the best of times the song has been a
at the best of times the song has been a
at the best of times the song has been a good fit for child singers like Shirley
good fit for child singers like Shirley
good fit for child singers like Shirley Temple an oddly saucy vehicle for
Temple an oddly saucy vehicle for
Temple an oddly saucy vehicle for full-grown adults like Eartha Kitt and
full-grown adults like Eartha Kitt and
full-grown adults like Eartha Kitt and was a buffoon Ashley goofy track when
was a buffoon Ashley goofy track when
was a buffoon Ashley goofy track when Smash Mouth teamed up with Rosie
Smash Mouth teamed up with Rosie
Smash Mouth teamed up with Rosie O’Donnell but then this happened rely on
O’Donnell but then this happened rely on
O’Donnell but then this happened rely on Kay’s take on the track is all over the
Kay’s take on the track is all over the
Kay’s take on the track is all over the place from its ill-fitting faux punk
place from its ill-fitting faux punk
place from its ill-fitting faux punk attitude to the thankfully brief polka
attitude to the thankfully brief polka
attitude to the thankfully brief polka segments stranger still the song ends
segments stranger still the song ends
segments stranger still the song ends with someone rambling about the polar
with someone rambling about the polar
with someone rambling about the polar ice caps melting an upsetting Santa
ice caps melting an upsetting Santa
ice caps melting an upsetting Santa which thankfully is quickly shot down
[Music]
[Music] most versions of this Hawaiian flavored
most versions of this Hawaiian flavored
most versions of this Hawaiian flavored classic tend to be upbeat and bouncy not
classic tend to be upbeat and bouncy not
classic tend to be upbeat and bouncy not so this time around something like is
so this time around something like is
so this time around something like is being played back on a turntable with a
being played back on a turntable with a
being played back on a turntable with a bad belt or Walkman with dying batteries
bad belt or Walkman with dying batteries
bad belt or Walkman with dying batteries she and hims take on Mele Kalikimaka
she and hims take on Mele Kalikimaka
she and hims take on Mele Kalikimaka borders on mournful the steel guitar is
borders on mournful the steel guitar is
borders on mournful the steel guitar is a good idea in theory but it sounds more
a good idea in theory but it sounds more
a good idea in theory but it sounds more haunting than festive and some drums
haunting than festive and some drums
haunting than festive and some drums wouldn’t go unnoticed
wouldn’t go unnoticed
wouldn’t go unnoticed although the quick guitar solo is very
although the quick guitar solo is very
although the quick guitar solo is very much on point
much on point
much on point [Music]
[Music]
[Music] however aside from The Andrews Sisters
however aside from The Andrews Sisters
however aside from The Andrews Sisters style harmonies the vocals are fairly
style harmonies the vocals are fairly
style harmonies the vocals are fairly lifeless and with the instrument solo in
lifeless and with the instrument solo in
lifeless and with the instrument solo in the mix one wonders why they didn’t just
the mix one wonders why they didn’t just
the mix one wonders why they didn’t just go a cappella and be done with it
number eight funky funky Christmas New
number eight funky funky Christmas New Kids on the Block Christmas music is a
Kids on the Block Christmas music is a
Kids on the Block Christmas music is a lucrative market do it right and you’re
lucrative market do it right and you’re
lucrative market do it right and you’re set for life so you can’t blame a
set for life so you can’t blame a
set for life so you can’t blame a Wahlberg for trying credited to Donny
Wahlberg for trying credited to Donny
Wahlberg for trying credited to Donny and Marie star funky funky Christmas
and Marie star funky funky Christmas
and Marie star funky funky Christmas doesn’t really live up to its funky
doesn’t really live up to its funky
doesn’t really live up to its funky funky title the bassline has potential
funky title the bassline has potential
funky title the bassline has potential but beyond that there’s very little funk
but beyond that there’s very little funk
but beyond that there’s very little funk to be found the drum sounds suspiciously
to be found the drum sounds suspiciously
to be found the drum sounds suspiciously Casio while Santa sounds a bit like a
Casio while Santa sounds a bit like a
Casio while Santa sounds a bit like a guy from Boston with a mouthful of
guy from Boston with a mouthful of
guy from Boston with a mouthful of dinner rolls neither of which are
dinner rolls neither of which are
dinner rolls neither of which are terribly funky additionally aside from
terribly funky additionally aside from
terribly funky additionally aside from our preconceived notions of what funk is
our preconceived notions of what funk is
our preconceived notions of what funk is and isn’t New Kids on the Block never
and isn’t New Kids on the Block never
and isn’t New Kids on the Block never really established what constitutes a
really established what constitutes a
really established what constitutes a funky funky Christmas or how exactly one
funky funky Christmas or how exactly one
funky funky Christmas or how exactly one can funk of their holidays
can funk of their holidays
can funk of their holidays [Music]
number seven spin me a Christmas aqua
number seven spin me a Christmas aqua [Music]
[Music]
[Music] it’s really hard to know exactly what
it’s really hard to know exactly what
it’s really hard to know exactly what aqua wants us to take from all this a
aqua wants us to take from all this a
aqua wants us to take from all this a thick slice of the Bands over-the-top
thick slice of the Bands over-the-top
thick slice of the Bands over-the-top gyro pops made me a Christmas doesn’t
gyro pops made me a Christmas doesn’t
gyro pops made me a Christmas doesn’t really have many of the seasonal
really have many of the seasonal
really have many of the seasonal trappings with its make plastic snow
trappings with its make plastic snow
trappings with its make plastic snow stabs on Hollywood ideals and the
stabs on Hollywood ideals and the
stabs on Hollywood ideals and the commercial side of the holidays it
commercial side of the holidays it
commercial side of the holidays it sounds like an attack on the phone eNOS
sounds like an attack on the phone eNOS
sounds like an attack on the phone eNOS of the modern Christmas
of the modern Christmas
of the modern Christmas [Music]
but it’s hard to tell do they hate the
but it’s hard to tell do they hate the phone eNOS do they love the faux dienes
phone eNOS do they love the faux dienes
phone eNOS do they love the faux dienes or do they just love and hate that
or do they just love and hate that
or do they just love and hate that everyone else loves and hates the phone
everyone else loves and hates the phone
everyone else loves and hates the phone eNOS do they not like Wham
eNOS do they not like Wham
eNOS do they not like Wham and why didn’t they key out the green
and why didn’t they key out the green
and why didn’t they key out the green screen from the igloo is for yay these
screen from the igloo is for yay these
screen from the igloo is for yay these questions are far too complex when
questions are far too complex when
questions are far too complex when you’re starry-eyed and full of eggnog
you’re starry-eyed and full of eggnog
you’re starry-eyed and full of eggnog [Music]
number six the Christmas shoes new song
number six the Christmas shoes new song oh there’s so much to unpack here let’s
oh there’s so much to unpack here let’s
oh there’s so much to unpack here let’s ignore that somehow this song led to a
ignore that somehow this song led to a
ignore that somehow this song led to a novella that led to a TV movie that
novella that led to a TV movie that
novella that led to a TV movie that hopefully led to Rob Lowe profiting
hopefully led to Rob Lowe profiting
hopefully led to Rob Lowe profiting handsomely
handsomely
handsomely let’s also ignore the overly dramatic
let’s also ignore the overly dramatic
let’s also ignore the overly dramatic key change the awful piezo acoustic
key change the awful piezo acoustic
key change the awful piezo acoustic guitar and the addition of The
guitar and the addition of The
guitar and the addition of The Children’s Choir
this boy’s mother is potentially hours
this boy’s mother is potentially hours from death why is he buying her shoes
from death why is he buying her shoes
from death why is he buying her shoes are these shoes in heaven are these
are these shoes in heaven are these
are these shoes in heaven are these shoes dying – no these shoes
shoes dying – no these shoes
shoes dying – no these shoes the boy explains the shoes er so that
the boy explains the shoes er so that
the boy explains the shoes er so that his mother can look good for Jesus but
his mother can look good for Jesus but
his mother can look good for Jesus but Jesus didn’t even wear shoes
Jesus didn’t even wear shoes
Jesus didn’t even wear shoes he died barefoot and lived an entire
he died barefoot and lived an entire
he died barefoot and lived an entire life without having ever seen shoes
life without having ever seen shoes
life without having ever seen shoes that’s just Ruth especially on his
that’s just Ruth especially on his
that’s just Ruth especially on his birthday the narrator then suggests that
birthday the narrator then suggests that
birthday the narrator then suggests that all of this was so that he could relearn
all of this was so that he could relearn
all of this was so that he could relearn the true meaning of Christmas which
the true meaning of Christmas which
the true meaning of Christmas which would mean God put this young boy and
would mean God put this young boy and
would mean God put this young boy and his mother through a life of misery just
his mother through a life of misery just
his mother through a life of misery just to teach a Dan he’ll wanna be a lesson
to teach a Dan he’ll wanna be a lesson
to teach a Dan he’ll wanna be a lesson in charity
number five murder City Christmas insane
number five murder City Christmas insane clown posse and twisted well unlike some
clown posse and twisted well unlike some
clown posse and twisted well unlike some Christmas songs it is funky but it’s
Christmas songs it is funky but it’s
Christmas songs it is funky but it’s also troubled painting a world where
also troubled painting a world where
also troubled painting a world where Santa does PCP and snow comes with a
Santa does PCP and snow comes with a
Santa does PCP and snow comes with a straw murder City Christmas is not
straw murder City Christmas is not
straw murder City Christmas is not exactly a hallmark picture of the
exactly a hallmark picture of the
exactly a hallmark picture of the holidays MAGIX describes himself as a
holidays MAGIX describes himself as a
holidays MAGIX describes himself as a recreational serial killer longing to
recreational serial killer longing to
recreational serial killer longing to turn pro while Shaggy 2 dope is busy
turn pro while Shaggy 2 dope is busy
turn pro while Shaggy 2 dope is busy calling in New Year’s Eve bomb threats
calling in New Year’s Eve bomb threats
calling in New Year’s Eve bomb threats were still monoxide child is out to kill
were still monoxide child is out to kill
were still monoxide child is out to kill some and violent Jay is
some and violent Jay is
some and violent Jay is under the mistaken belief that Rudolph
under the mistaken belief that Rudolph
under the mistaken belief that Rudolph is some sort of low-level pimp and not a
is some sort of low-level pimp and not a
is some sort of low-level pimp and not a red-nosed reindeer the narrative is also
red-nosed reindeer the narrative is also
red-nosed reindeer the narrative is also inconsistent with Santa who have roughly
inconsistent with Santa who have roughly
inconsistent with Santa who have roughly switches from PCP to crack and from
switches from PCP to crack and from
switches from PCP to crack and from being mugged the Trading VCRs for
being mugged the Trading VCRs for
being mugged the Trading VCRs for marijuana but fortunately the track is
marijuana but fortunately the track is
marijuana but fortunately the track is fairly rare at least in its physical
fairly rare at least in its physical
fairly rare at least in its physical form as Eve only copies pressed were
form as Eve only copies pressed were
form as Eve only copies pressed were given away to audience members at a 2005
given away to audience members at a 2005
given away to audience members at a 2005 concert
number 4x Tina’s Xmas Christina Aguilera
number 4x Tina’s Xmas Christina Aguilera [Music]
[Music]
[Music] it may be a prodding pointless bit of
it may be a prodding pointless bit of
it may be a prodding pointless bit of hip hop it may even be the result of
hip hop it may even be the result of
hip hop it may even be the result of someone getting a synth and sampler for
someone getting a synth and sampler for
someone getting a synth and sampler for Christmas and it’s possible it exists
Christmas and it’s possible it exists
Christmas and it’s possible it exists only to grab some songwriting royalties
only to grab some songwriting royalties
only to grab some songwriting royalties on an album filled with cover tracks but
on an album filled with cover tracks but
on an album filled with cover tracks but consider this at least it’s short and
consider this at least it’s short and
consider this at least it’s short and she’s not wrong it is Christmas time
she’s not wrong it is Christmas time
she’s not wrong it is Christmas time [Music]
sapling deck the halls’ and little
sapling deck the halls’ and little drummer boy and backed with a rhythm
drummer boy and backed with a rhythm
drummer boy and backed with a rhythm that’ll have you sticking your chest out
that’ll have you sticking your chest out
that’ll have you sticking your chest out in time Lady Gaga’s Christmas tree may
in time Lady Gaga’s Christmas tree may
in time Lady Gaga’s Christmas tree may not be what it seems picking up on Jimmy
not be what it seems picking up on Jimmy
not be what it seems picking up on Jimmy Butler’s Christmas tree as a lady garden
Butler’s Christmas tree as a lady garden
Butler’s Christmas tree as a lady garden metaphor the presented evidence seems to
metaphor the presented evidence seems to
metaphor the presented evidence seems to suggest it’s not Christmas cheer Gaga’s
suggest it’s not Christmas cheer Gaga’s
suggest it’s not Christmas cheer Gaga’s spreading at all
with her tree taken to be her baby hatch
with her tree taken to be her baby hatch coupled with her request to be on top
coupled with her request to be on top
coupled with her request to be on top her nude associates desire to be under
her nude associates desire to be under
her nude associates desire to be under said tree and her repeated claims that
said tree and her repeated claims that
said tree and her repeated claims that her tree is delicious
her tree is delicious
her tree is delicious all signs suggest it’s not Santa’s lap
all signs suggest it’s not Santa’s lap
all signs suggest it’s not Santa’s lap miss Germanotta intends to sit on well
miss Germanotta intends to sit on well
miss Germanotta intends to sit on well that in Gaga herself has suggested that
that in Gaga herself has suggested that
that in Gaga herself has suggested that Christmas is the horniest of the
Christmas is the horniest of the
Christmas is the horniest of the holidays number two drummer boy Justin
holidays number two drummer boy Justin
holidays number two drummer boy Justin Bieber and bust arrives coming from
Bieber and bust arrives coming from
Bieber and bust arrives coming from Bieber’s star pact billboard topping
Bieber’s star pact billboard topping
Bieber’s star pact billboard topping under the mistletoe album drummer boy
under the mistletoe album drummer boy
under the mistletoe album drummer boy ultimately amounts to a lame cover of an
ultimately amounts to a lame cover of an
ultimately amounts to a lame cover of an already lame song featuring a snare drum
already lame song featuring a snare drum
already lame song featuring a snare drum that sounds like a pan of Jiffy Pop
that sounds like a pan of Jiffy Pop
that sounds like a pan of Jiffy Pop Biebs has trouble sticking to the songs
Biebs has trouble sticking to the songs
Biebs has trouble sticking to the songs fairly limited melody and sings in a way
fairly limited melody and sings in a way
fairly limited melody and sings in a way that seems to anticipate auto-tune
that seems to anticipate auto-tune
that seems to anticipate auto-tune [Music]
lyrically things don’t fare much better
lyrically things don’t fare much better while it’s already a terrible idea to
while it’s already a terrible idea to
while it’s already a terrible idea to play drums for an infant it’s unlikely
play drums for an infant it’s unlikely
play drums for an infant it’s unlikely the baby Jesus or as Aramaic speaking
the baby Jesus or as Aramaic speaking
the baby Jesus or as Aramaic speaking parents would be all that impressed with
parents would be all that impressed with
parents would be all that impressed with Bieber’s totally dope rhymes and
Bieber’s totally dope rhymes and
Bieber’s totally dope rhymes and twentieth-century references further
twentieth-century references further
twentieth-century references further more standing figuratively before the
more standing figuratively before the
more standing figuratively before the baby Jesus JV shows no humility but is
baby Jesus JV shows no humility but is
baby Jesus JV shows no humility but is instead surprised at the book of Justin
instead surprised at the book of Justin
instead surprised at the book of Justin didn’t make it into the Bible before we
didn’t make it into the Bible before we
didn’t make it into the Bible before we unwrap our top pick here are a few
unwrap our top pick here are a few
unwrap our top pick here are a few honorable mentions
number one wonderful christmastime Paul
number one wonderful christmastime Paul McCartney routinely named as one of the
McCartney routinely named as one of the
McCartney routinely named as one of the worst songs ever written by anyone
worst songs ever written by anyone
worst songs ever written by anyone Beatle or otherwise wonderful
Beatle or otherwise wonderful
Beatle or otherwise wonderful christmastime splits the room from the
christmastime splits the room from the
christmastime splits the room from the first note featuring McCartney alone
first note featuring McCartney alone
first note featuring McCartney alone kneeling on a sequential circuits five
kneeling on a sequential circuits five
kneeling on a sequential circuits five profit synthesizer the track actually
profit synthesizer the track actually
profit synthesizer the track actually hit number six in the UK when it was
hit number six in the UK when it was
hit number six in the UK when it was released but barely charted at all in
released but barely charted at all in
released but barely charted at all in the United States and missed the
the United States and missed the
the United States and missed the Billboard Hot 100 completely the
Billboard Hot 100 completely the
Billboard Hot 100 completely the textbook example of post Beatle
textbook example of post Beatle
textbook example of post Beatle criticism towards McCartney wonderful
criticism towards McCartney wonderful
criticism towards McCartney wonderful christmas time is vapid ly uninspired
christmas time is vapid ly uninspired
christmas time is vapid ly uninspired monotonous and repetitive but yet it
monotonous and repetitive but yet it
monotonous and repetitive but yet it gets covered and despite being a
gets covered and despite being a
gets covered and despite being a Christmas favorite of virtually no one
Christmas favorite of virtually no one
Christmas favorite of virtually no one the track not only gets consistent
the track not only gets consistent
the track not only gets consistent seasonal airplay but also reportedly
seasonal airplay but also reportedly
seasonal airplay but also reportedly earns maka a cool $400,000 in royalties
earns maka a cool $400,000 in royalties
earns maka a cool $400,000 in royalties every year it’s simply a baffling
every year it’s simply a baffling
every year it’s simply a baffling Christmas to
so do you agree with our list what’s the
so do you agree with our list what’s the worst Christmas song you’ve ever heard
for more you logging top 10s published
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