he’s crude he’s crass and has absolutely no shame whatsoever welcome to
no shame whatsoever welcome to
no shame whatsoever welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting
watchmojo.com and today we’re counting down our picks for the top ten louis c.k
down our picks for the top ten louis c.k
down our picks for the top ten louis c.k moments before we begin we published new
moments before we begin we published new
moments before we begin we published new videos every day so be sure to subscribe
videos every day so be sure to subscribe
videos every day so be sure to subscribe for more great content for this list
for more great content for this list
for more great content for this list we’ve scoured this raunchy comedians
we’ve scoured this raunchy comedians
we’ve scoured this raunchy comedians offbeat portfolio of work from his
offbeat portfolio of work from his
offbeat portfolio of work from his stand-up performances to his television
stand-up performances to his television
stand-up performances to his television series and everything in between and
series and everything in between and
series and everything in between and have ranked the best moments based on
have ranked the best moments based on
have ranked the best moments based on how unforgettably shocking and hilarious
how unforgettably shocking and hilarious
how unforgettably shocking and hilarious they are would you like a hand job I’m
they are would you like a hand job I’m
they are would you like a hand job I’m like yeah that sounds awesome
like yeah that sounds awesome
like yeah that sounds awesome number 10 on the count of three Louie
number 10 on the count of three Louie
number 10 on the count of three Louie go funny three two one
go funny three two one
go funny three two one while Louie is considered a professional
while Louie is considered a professional
while Louie is considered a professional comedian the act of standing in front of
comedian the act of standing in front of
comedian the act of standing in front of hundreds of people with the intention of
hundreds of people with the intention of
hundreds of people with the intention of making them collectively laugh is no
making them collectively laugh is no
making them collectively laugh is no small feat heck sometimes trying to
small feat heck sometimes trying to
small feat heck sometimes trying to tickle just one person’s funny bone is a
tickle just one person’s funny bone is a
tickle just one person’s funny bone is a challenge especially when you’re on the
challenge especially when you’re on the
challenge especially when you’re on the spot this is either a door or a wall for
spot this is either a door or a wall for
spot this is either a door or a wall for me and it’s either the beginning of the
me and it’s either the beginning of the
me and it’s either the beginning of the end I don’t know I please to land a gig
end I don’t know I please to land a gig
end I don’t know I please to land a gig as a talk show host when we must prove
as a talk show host when we must prove
as a talk show host when we must prove himself to be a funny person by
himself to be a funny person by
himself to be a funny person by impressing an executive played by film
impressing an executive played by film
impressing an executive played by film director David Lynch the scene plays out
director David Lynch the scene plays out
director David Lynch the scene plays out awkwardly because Louie is absolutely
awkwardly because Louie is absolutely
awkwardly because Louie is absolutely stumped about what to say he does come
stumped about what to say he does come
stumped about what to say he does come up with something but it’s a strange
up with something but it’s a strange
up with something but it’s a strange sentence that mixes both insults and
sentence that mixes both insults and
sentence that mixes both insults and stupidity even so it somehow helps this
stupidity even so it somehow helps this
stupidity even so it somehow helps this case you’re just a pencil
case you’re just a pencil
case you’re just a pencil PMS prey
PMS prey
PMS prey number nine why one night stand when I
number nine why one night stand when I
number nine why one night stand when I have a child I will answer all of their
have a child I will answer all of their
have a child I will answer all of their questions
questions
questions and open their minds to the wonders of
and open their minds to the wonders of
and open their minds to the wonders of the world children are wonderful
the world children are wonderful
the world children are wonderful children are also exhausting why
children are also exhausting why
children are also exhausting why well that one word is one of the main
well that one word is one of the main
well that one word is one of the main reasons why Louie recounts an instance
reasons why Louie recounts an instance
reasons why Louie recounts an instance with one of his daughters when she
with one of his daughters when she
with one of his daughters when she repeatedly asked him why to discover the
repeatedly asked him why to discover the
repeatedly asked him why to discover the many reasons why life and reality are
many reasons why life and reality are
many reasons why life and reality are the way they are a kid never goes oh
the way they are a kid never goes oh
the way they are a kid never goes oh thanks I get it it’s fantastic the
thanks I get it it’s fantastic the
thanks I get it it’s fantastic the children are curious and want to learn
children are curious and want to learn
children are curious and want to learn Louie hits the nail right on the head as
Louie hits the nail right on the head as
Louie hits the nail right on the head as to why this process can become mundane
to why this process can become mundane
to why this process can become mundane and infuriating pretty fast nobody knows
and infuriating pretty fast nobody knows
and infuriating pretty fast nobody knows everything yet your child expects you to
everything yet your child expects you to
everything yet your child expects you to placing you in a seemingly never-ending
placing you in a seemingly never-ending
placing you in a seemingly never-ending conversation in this case it probably
conversation in this case it probably
conversation in this case it probably leaves Louis questioning why he had kids
leaves Louis questioning why he had kids
leaves Louis questioning why he had kids in the first place why because my
in the first place why because my
in the first place why because my parents gave me no guidance they didn’t
parents gave me no guidance they didn’t
parents gave me no guidance they didn’t give a shit why because they’ve been a
give a shit why because they’ve been a
give a shit why because they’ve been a Corin had me and they resented me for
Corin had me and they resented me for
Corin had me and they resented me for taking their youth number eight Louie
taking their youth number eight Louie
taking their youth number eight Louie versus Dane Louie
versus Dane Louie
versus Dane Louie you don’t really say 2006 it’s 2006 2006
you don’t really say 2006 it’s 2006 2006
you don’t really say 2006 it’s 2006 2006 is like saying the year 2000 and by the
is like saying the year 2000 and by the
is like saying the year 2000 and by the way the number 6 it’s a lot of
way the number 6 it’s a lot of
way the number 6 it’s a lot of competition in the world of stand-up
competition in the world of stand-up
competition in the world of stand-up comedy and as you can imagine if one
comedy and as you can imagine if one
comedy and as you can imagine if one comedian thinks another comedian has
comedian thinks another comedian has
comedian thinks another comedian has stolen his material and tried to pass it
stolen his material and tried to pass it
stolen his material and tried to pass it off as his own there will be some
off as his own there will be some
off as his own there will be some animosity on both sides
animosity on both sides
animosity on both sides Dane Cook was at one point a top
Dane Cook was at one point a top
Dane Cook was at one point a top stand-up act but when the internet began
stand-up act but when the internet began
stand-up act but when the internet began to slam him for taking Louie’s jokes it
to slam him for taking Louie’s jokes it
to slam him for taking Louie’s jokes it tarnished his once prestigious image
tarnished his once prestigious image
tarnished his once prestigious image that should have been like my triumph
that should have been like my triumph
that should have been like my triumph and I enjoyed it Louis for maybe two
and I enjoyed it Louis for maybe two
and I enjoyed it Louis for maybe two months well in an episode of Louie the
months well in an episode of Louie the
months well in an episode of Louie the two comedians address this issue head-on
two comedians address this issue head-on
two comedians address this issue head-on face to face and considering how touchy
face to face and considering how touchy
face to face and considering how touchy the subject is with comedians it’s a
the subject is with comedians it’s a
the subject is with comedians it’s a pretty ballsy scene plus we just love
pretty ballsy scene plus we just love
pretty ballsy scene plus we just love seeing Dane and Louie interact fake
seeing Dane and Louie interact fake
seeing Dane and Louie interact fake argument or not so for you to think that
argument or not so for you to think that
argument or not so for you to think that you’re the only person who got an itchy
you’re the only person who got an itchy
you’re the only person who got an itchy asshole in America I mean like that’s
asshole in America I mean like that’s
asshole in America I mean like that’s that’s bullshit you should try a natural
that’s bullshit you should try a natural
that’s bullshit you should try a natural laundry detergent what number seven jizz
laundry detergent what number seven jizz
laundry detergent what number seven jizz antha puss live at the Beacon Theater I
antha puss live at the Beacon Theater I
antha puss live at the Beacon Theater I hate little boys I’m like the opposite
hate little boys I’m like the opposite
hate little boys I’m like the opposite of a pedophile I just hate
of a pedophile I just hate
of a pedophile I just hate no that’s not a real word but it should
no that’s not a real word but it should
no that’s not a real word but it should be added to the dictionary to describe
be added to the dictionary to describe
be added to the dictionary to describe bratty children everywhere based on
bratty children everywhere based on
bratty children everywhere based on Louie’s retelling of his immense hatred
Louie’s retelling of his immense hatred
Louie’s retelling of his immense hatred for a six-year-old boy Louie’s rant
for a six-year-old boy Louie’s rant
for a six-year-old boy Louie’s rant starts by summarizing how horribly
starts by summarizing how horribly
starts by summarizing how horribly behaved Jews antha puss really is and
behaved Jews antha puss really is and
behaved Jews antha puss really is and how his mom doesn’t even bother stopping
how his mom doesn’t even bother stopping
how his mom doesn’t even bother stopping him true Louie fashion things take a
him true Louie fashion things take a
him true Louie fashion things take a dark turn when he tells us what he’d do
dark turn when he tells us what he’d do
dark turn when he tells us what he’d do to protect his daughter from this
to protect his daughter from this
to protect his daughter from this nightmare child and his plan is quite
nightmare child and his plan is quite
nightmare child and his plan is quite something as he puts it you got to
something as he puts it you got to
something as he puts it you got to protect your kids and if the best way is
protect your kids and if the best way is
protect your kids and if the best way is to confuse a bully’s father sexually
to confuse a bully’s father sexually
to confuse a bully’s father sexually then so be it and I know your dad is he
then so be it and I know your dad is he
then so be it and I know your dad is he ran out on you but I’m gonna find him
ran out on you but I’m gonna find him
ran out on you but I’m gonna find him I’m gonna turn myself gay and then I’m
I’m gonna turn myself gay and then I’m
I’m gonna turn myself gay and then I’m gonna come to number six art gallery
gonna come to number six art gallery
gonna come to number six art gallery Louie no no I didn’t say Louie and
Louie no no I didn’t say Louie and
Louie no no I didn’t say Louie and Pamela go out for a date and instead of
Pamela go out for a date and instead of
Pamela go out for a date and instead of opting for the more traditional dinner
opting for the more traditional dinner
opting for the more traditional dinner and a movie they go to a modern art
and a movie they go to a modern art
and a movie they go to a modern art museum the experience is different to
museum the experience is different to
museum the experience is different to say the least as they move through the
say the least as they move through the
say the least as they move through the exhibit the pieces on display become
exhibit the pieces on display become
exhibit the pieces on display become increasingly strange with an eerily
increasingly strange with an eerily
increasingly strange with an eerily consistent theme relating to the human
consistent theme relating to the human
consistent theme relating to the human body and vile subject matter
the look on Louie’s face as he walks
the look on Louie’s face as he walks past giant dirty cotton swabs or grown
past giant dirty cotton swabs or grown
past giant dirty cotton swabs or grown men in their underwear shows that he’s
men in their underwear shows that he’s
men in their underwear shows that he’s as confused as we are but hey maybe we
as confused as we are but hey maybe we
as confused as we are but hey maybe we just don’t get it
just don’t get it
just don’t get it that’s called diarrhea this is diarrhea
that’s called diarrhea this is diarrhea
that’s called diarrhea this is diarrhea number five the heckler Louie hi could
number five the heckler Louie hi could
number five the heckler Louie hi could you stop talking as you’re making it
you stop talking as you’re making it
you stop talking as you’re making it hard for me to do my job
hard for me to do my job
hard for me to do my job one of the most infuriating things for a
one of the most infuriating things for a
one of the most infuriating things for a stand-up comedian is a heckler here you
stand-up comedian is a heckler here you
stand-up comedian is a heckler here you are trying to do your job when suddenly
are trying to do your job when suddenly
are trying to do your job when suddenly some random jerk in the audience feels
some random jerk in the audience feels
some random jerk in the audience feels compelled to talk over you or yell
compelled to talk over you or yell
compelled to talk over you or yell something rude it brings the whole show
something rude it brings the whole show
something rude it brings the whole show to a grinding halt but you better
to a grinding halt but you better
to a grinding halt but you better believe the person on stage will not
believe the person on stage will not
believe the person on stage will not back down
back down
back down you don’t like right that’s really weird
you don’t like right that’s really weird
you don’t like right that’s really weird because you know you wouldn’t even exist
because you know you wouldn’t even exist
because you know you wouldn’t even exist if your mom hadn’t raped that homeless
if your mom hadn’t raped that homeless
if your mom hadn’t raped that homeless Chinese guy this scene captures why it’s
Chinese guy this scene captures why it’s
Chinese guy this scene captures why it’s an awful idea to try and one-up the
an awful idea to try and one-up the
an awful idea to try and one-up the person holding the microphone a comedian
person holding the microphone a comedian
person holding the microphone a comedian is trained to be witty and to create
is trained to be witty and to create
is trained to be witty and to create brutal comebacks if necessary and Louie
brutal comebacks if necessary and Louie
brutal comebacks if necessary and Louie lets them fly at the heckler showing how
lets them fly at the heckler showing how
lets them fly at the heckler showing how quickly the tables can turn in a
quickly the tables can turn in a
quickly the tables can turn in a situation like this
situation like this
situation like this why you can sue me you know who I would
why you can sue me you know who I would
why you can sue me you know who I would like to sue everybody that works in the
like to sue everybody that works in the
like to sue everybody that works in the hospital that you were born at number
hospital that you were born at number
hospital that you were born at number four everything’s amazing and nobody’s
four everything’s amazing and nobody’s
four everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy Late Night with Conan O’Brien yeah
happy Late Night with Conan O’Brien yeah
happy Late Night with Conan O’Brien yeah because everything is amazing right now
because everything is amazing right now
because everything is amazing right now and nobody’s happy we live in the future
and nobody’s happy we live in the future
and nobody’s happy we live in the future we have so many fascinating and useful
we have so many fascinating and useful
we have so many fascinating and useful technologies to help us with just about
technologies to help us with just about
technologies to help us with just about everything need to learn something
everything need to learn something
everything need to learn something internet need to get in touch with
internet need to get in touch with
internet need to get in touch with someone phone need to travel far away
someone phone need to travel far away
someone phone need to travel far away planes trains and automobiles yet
planes trains and automobiles yet
planes trains and automobiles yet despite all of these conveniences
despite all of these conveniences
despite all of these conveniences humanity somehow still complains that
humanity somehow still complains that
humanity somehow still complains that these amazing things aren’t amazing
these amazing things aren’t amazing
these amazing things aren’t amazing enough this is what people like now they
enough this is what people like now they
enough this is what people like now they got their phone oh it won’t get a second
got their phone oh it won’t get a second
got their phone oh it won’t get a second on one of his appearances on late-night
on one of his appearances on late-night
on one of his appearances on late-night Louie told Conan about a time when the
Louie told Conan about a time when the
Louie told Conan about a time when the Wi-Fi went out on a flight the moral of
Wi-Fi went out on a flight the moral of
Wi-Fi went out on a flight the moral of the story maybe we all need to rethink
the story maybe we all need to rethink
the story maybe we all need to rethink how bad our first world problems we do
how bad our first world problems we do
how bad our first world problems we do we are like how quickly the world owes
we are like how quickly the world owes
we are like how quickly the world owes him something yes
him something yes
him something yes he knew existed only ten seconds ago
he knew existed only ten seconds ago
he knew existed only ten seconds ago number three
number three
number three helicopter escape Louie okay I’m not
helicopter escape Louie okay I’m not
helicopter escape Louie okay I’m not very good at dating every guy’s been
very good at dating every guy’s been
very good at dating every guy’s been there sometimes you just have trouble
there sometimes you just have trouble
there sometimes you just have trouble finding the words you need to charm the
finding the words you need to charm the
finding the words you need to charm the ladies now that’s where Louie is in this
ladies now that’s where Louie is in this
ladies now that’s where Louie is in this scene trying desperately to stitch
scene trying desperately to stitch
scene trying desperately to stitch together some half-decent statement
together some half-decent statement
together some half-decent statement that’ll hopefully win her over
that’ll hopefully win her over
that’ll hopefully win her over why am I trying to impress you why don’t
why am I trying to impress you why don’t
why am I trying to impress you why don’t you tell me about your goddamn life and
you tell me about your goddamn life and
you tell me about your goddamn life and try to impress me however what’s even
try to impress me however what’s even
try to impress me however what’s even more important than finding the right
more important than finding the right
more important than finding the right words is finding the right time to move
words is finding the right time to move
words is finding the right time to move in for a kiss
in for a kiss
in for a kiss unfortunately Lily doesn’t go about this
unfortunately Lily doesn’t go about this
unfortunately Lily doesn’t go about this in the most graceful way causing the
in the most graceful way causing the
in the most graceful way causing the woman he’s with to panic and bolt and
woman he’s with to panic and bolt and
woman he’s with to panic and bolt and she doesn’t just run she goes for the
she doesn’t just run she goes for the
she doesn’t just run she goes for the kind of faraway escape that involves a
kind of faraway escape that involves a
kind of faraway escape that involves a helicopter all righty then
helicopter all righty then
helicopter all righty then [Music]
number two suck a bag of dicks
number two suck a bag of dicks shameless what does he want me to do
shameless what does he want me to do
shameless what does he want me to do does you want me to take a bag of dicks
does you want me to take a bag of dicks
does you want me to take a bag of dicks and suck it like suck the side of the
and suck it like suck the side of the
and suck it like suck the side of the bag we’ve all gotten mad and shouted
bag we’ve all gotten mad and shouted
bag we’ve all gotten mad and shouted insults as a means of venting our rage
insults as a means of venting our rage
insults as a means of venting our rage but of all the colorful curses available
but of all the colorful curses available
but of all the colorful curses available to you has it ever crossed your mind to
to you has it ever crossed your mind to
to you has it ever crossed your mind to tell someone to suck a bag of dicks he
tell someone to suck a bag of dicks he
tell someone to suck a bag of dicks he was angry in just like a greeting it’s a
was angry in just like a greeting it’s a
was angry in just like a greeting it’s a bizarre statement and it paints a weird
bizarre statement and it paints a weird
bizarre statement and it paints a weird mental picture that Louie is more than
mental picture that Louie is more than
mental picture that Louie is more than happy to describe for us
happy to describe for us
happy to describe for us in fact he’s actually got a lot of
in fact he’s actually got a lot of
in fact he’s actually got a lot of questions about what’s sucking a bag of
questions about what’s sucking a bag of
questions about what’s sucking a bag of dicks means or even looks like in the
dicks means or even looks like in the
dicks means or even looks like in the end it’s a phrase that perplexed Louie
end it’s a phrase that perplexed Louie
end it’s a phrase that perplexed Louie to no end and paved the way for one of
to no end and paved the way for one of
to no end and paved the way for one of his funniest bits ever wears it like a
his funniest bits ever wears it like a
his funniest bits ever wears it like a paper bag and they’re sticking like
paper bag and they’re sticking like
paper bag and they’re sticking like baguettes kind of like you went shopping
baguettes kind of like you went shopping
baguettes kind of like you went shopping before we unveil our number one pick
before we unveil our number one pick
before we unveil our number one pick here are some honorable mentions I don’t
here are some honorable mentions I don’t
here are some honorable mentions I don’t think it’s killing a baby I don’t I mean
think it’s killing a baby I don’t I mean
think it’s killing a baby I don’t I mean it is it’s a it’s a little bit it’s a
it is it’s a it’s a little bit it’s a
it is it’s a it’s a little bit it’s a little bit killing a baby if he had been
little bit killing a baby if he had been
little bit killing a baby if he had been raped by me he never would have pulled
raped by me he never would have pulled
raped by me he never would have pulled any of that stuff man should we invade
any of that stuff man should we invade
any of that stuff man should we invade Poland no just take a shower I don’t
Poland no just take a shower I don’t
Poland no just take a shower I don’t feel like I can understand if gay people
feel like I can understand if gay people
feel like I can understand if gay people were just running out in the streets
were just running out in the streets
were just running out in the streets just people they ask willy-nilly just
just people they ask willy-nilly just
just people they ask willy-nilly just like a pestilence like without asking
like a pestilence like without asking
like a pestilence like without asking you know number one of course but maybe
you know number one of course but maybe
you know number one of course but maybe oh my god it’s become a category in my
oh my god it’s become a category in my
oh my god it’s become a category in my brain that I call of course but maybe no
brain that I call of course but maybe no
brain that I call of course but maybe no human is perfect we all straddle the
human is perfect we all straddle the
human is perfect we all straddle the line between positive and negative good
line between positive and negative good
line between positive and negative good and bad but usually we keep our bad
and bad but usually we keep our bad
and bad but usually we keep our bad thoughts inside because we like to
thoughts inside because we like to
thoughts inside because we like to portray ourselves as good people I have
portray ourselves as good people I have
portray ourselves as good people I have a nephew who has that I’d be devastated
a nephew who has that I’d be devastated
a nephew who has that I’d be devastated if something happening but me
if something happening but me
well Louie breaks down all those walls
well Louie breaks down all those walls and calls attention to the devil on his
and calls attention to the devil on his
and calls attention to the devil on his shoulder exposing the dark side of the
shoulder exposing the dark side of the
shoulder exposing the dark side of the human psyche in what is arguably his
human psyche in what is arguably his
human psyche in what is arguably his most hilarious and blunt joke ever
most hilarious and blunt joke ever
most hilarious and blunt joke ever hearing him speak in his usual
hearing him speak in his usual
hearing him speak in his usual obscenities definitely brings the
obscenities definitely brings the
obscenities definitely brings the chuckles but this bit is also
chuckles but this bit is also
chuckles but this bit is also surprisingly thought-provoking about
surprisingly thought-provoking about
surprisingly thought-provoking about human behavior and leaves us with
human behavior and leaves us with
human behavior and leaves us with palpable food for thought maybe if you
palpable food for thought maybe if you
palpable food for thought maybe if you get shot by the dude you were just
get shot by the dude you were just
get shot by the dude you were just shooting at it’s a tiny bit your fault
shooting at it’s a tiny bit your fault
shooting at it’s a tiny bit your fault do you agree with our picks check out
do you agree with our picks check out
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