he was a social analyst nonconformist and one of the greatest stand-up
and one of the greatest stand-up
and one of the greatest stand-up comedians ever see I’m a visionary I’m
comedians ever see I’m a visionary I’m
comedians ever see I’m a visionary I’m ahead of my time trouble is I’m only
ahead of my time trouble is I’m only
ahead of my time trouble is I’m only about an hour and a half ahead welcome
about an hour and a half ahead welcome
about an hour and a half ahead welcome to watchmojo.com and today we’re
to watchmojo.com and today we’re
to watchmojo.com and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10
counting down our picks for the top 10
counting down our picks for the top 10 George Carlin bits isn’t he nice oh he
George Carlin bits isn’t he nice oh he
George Carlin bits isn’t he nice oh he is so nice please be advised this clip
is so nice please be advised this clip
is so nice please be advised this clip contains mature language and teens you
contains mature language and teens you
contains mature language and teens you have been warned
have been warned
have been warned I got a really filthy joke for you bill
I got a really filthy joke for you bill
I got a really filthy joke for you bill but there’s a lady here well that’s okay
but there’s a lady here well that’s okay
but there’s a lady here well that’s okay she’s filthy too go ahead well it’s her
she’s filthy too go ahead well it’s her
she’s filthy too go ahead well it’s her number 10 have a nice day yeah yeah yeah
number 10 have a nice day yeah yeah yeah
number 10 have a nice day yeah yeah yeah want to give me my fucking change please
want to give me my fucking change please
want to give me my fucking change please Harlan made it out of the hippie dippie
Harlan made it out of the hippie dippie
Harlan made it out of the hippie dippie 70s a little older a little more
70s a little older a little more
70s a little older a little more clean-cut and a little cranky err some
clean-cut and a little cranky err some
clean-cut and a little cranky err some of them are really insistent I said have
of them are really insistent I said have
of them are really insistent I said have a nice day all right I got that one all
a nice day all right I got that one all
a nice day all right I got that one all right I’ll give a shot he had already
right I’ll give a shot he had already
right I’ll give a shot he had already made himself famous by picking apart the
made himself famous by picking apart the
made himself famous by picking apart the ridiculous way people interact and this
ridiculous way people interact and this
ridiculous way people interact and this bit is the ultimate example this routine
bit is the ultimate example this routine
bit is the ultimate example this routine came at a time when he was still
came at a time when he was still
came at a time when he was still focusing on observational humor not
focusing on observational humor not
focusing on observational humor not politics or the grumpy old man schtick
politics or the grumpy old man schtick
politics or the grumpy old man schtick crappy day hey that’d be easy no trouble
crappy day hey that’d be easy no trouble
crappy day hey that’d be easy no trouble at all a crappy day just get up
there’s no planning involved for a
there’s no planning involved for a crappy day number nine state prison
crappy day number nine state prison
crappy day number nine state prison farms this is when Carlin started
farms this is when Carlin started
farms this is when Carlin started railing against society with newfound
railing against society with newfound
railing against society with newfound bitterness here’s his black Lee funny
bitterness here’s his black Lee funny
bitterness here’s his black Lee funny hypothesis about carting the worst
hypothesis about carting the worst
hypothesis about carting the worst criminals to fenced-off
criminals to fenced-off
criminals to fenced-off rectangular-shaped states rectangular
rectangular-shaped states rectangular
rectangular-shaped states rectangular states are cheaper defense saves the
states are cheaper defense saves the
states are cheaper defense saves the taxpayers money
taxpayers money
taxpayers money you know where they’d fight to the death
you know where they’d fight to the death
you know where they’d fight to the death for captivated TV audiences his
for captivated TV audiences his
for captivated TV audiences his trademark vocabulary in full force he
trademark vocabulary in full force he
trademark vocabulary in full force he spouts religious one-liners as easily as
spouts religious one-liners as easily as
spouts religious one-liners as easily as he paints absurd mental pictures know
he paints absurd mental pictures know
he paints absurd mental pictures know the maniac farm will be reserved
the maniac farm will be reserved
the maniac farm will be reserved strictly for hopeless cases like a guy
strictly for hopeless cases like a guy
strictly for hopeless cases like a guy who gets a big tattoo on his chest of
who gets a big tattoo on his chest of
who gets a big tattoo on his chest of Liza Minnelli taking a shit you know and
Liza Minnelli taking a shit you know and
Liza Minnelli taking a shit you know and he tells you if he Wiggles a certain way
he tells you if he Wiggles a certain way
he tells you if he Wiggles a certain way it looks like she’s wiping her ass you
it looks like she’s wiping her ass you
it looks like she’s wiping her ass you know this bit is essential Karlin
know this bit is essential Karlin
know this bit is essential Karlin because of the questions it asks about
because of the questions it asks about
because of the questions it asks about morality and the system everyone will
morality and the system everyone will
morality and the system everyone will have guns everyone will have drugs and
have guns everyone will have drugs and
have guns everyone will have drugs and no one will be in charge just like now
no one will be in charge just like now
no one will be in charge just like now but at least we’ll have a balanced
but at least we’ll have a balanced
but at least we’ll have a balanced budget number eight dumb Americans it
budget number eight dumb Americans it
budget number eight dumb Americans it plays more as a rant than as a comedy
plays more as a rant than as a comedy
plays more as a rant than as a comedy routine but this Carlin bit was way
routine but this Carlin bit was way
routine but this Carlin bit was way ahead of the curve this country is full
ahead of the curve this country is full
ahead of the curve this country is full of nitwits and assholes you haven’t
of nitwits and assholes you haven’t
of nitwits and assholes you haven’t noticed that well my goodness
noticed that well my goodness
noticed that well my goodness as a forefather of Jon Stewart and
as a forefather of Jon Stewart and
as a forefather of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert types Carlin brought
Stephen Colbert types Carlin brought
Stephen Colbert types Carlin brought politics and comedy together to give us
politics and comedy together to give us
politics and comedy together to give us a clearer perspective only he did it
a clearer perspective only he did it
a clearer perspective only he did it with a venomous anti-establishment view
with a venomous anti-establishment view
with a venomous anti-establishment view that’s what the owners count on the fact
that’s what the owners count on the fact
that’s what the owners count on the fact that Americans will probably remain
that Americans will probably remain
that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red white
willfully ignorant of the big red white
willfully ignorant of the big red white and blue dick that’s being jammed up
and blue dick that’s being jammed up
and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes everyday
their assholes everyday
their assholes everyday long story short the system is broken
long story short the system is broken
long story short the system is broken corporations are evil and the American
corporations are evil and the American
corporations are evil and the American Dream is well he’ll tell you called the
Dream is well he’ll tell you called the
Dream is well he’ll tell you called the American dream because you have to be
American dream because you have to be
American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it
asleep to believe it
asleep to believe it number seven the planet is fine this was
number seven the planet is fine this was
number seven the planet is fine this was one of Carlin’s personal favorites and
one of Carlin’s personal favorites and
one of Carlin’s personal favorites and it’s just as relevant now as it was then
it’s just as relevant now as it was then
it’s just as relevant now as it was then Carlin attacks self-righteous
Carlin attacks self-righteous
Carlin attacks self-righteous environmentalists for their arrogance
environmentalists for their arrogance
environmentalists for their arrogance over the save the planet game the planet
over the save the planet game the planet
over the save the planet game the planet is fine the people are fucked the people
is fine the people are fucked the people
is fine the people are fucked the people are fucked bleak yes one yep brutal
are fucked bleak yes one yep brutal
are fucked bleak yes one yep brutal uh-huh
uh-huh
uh-huh but that was Carlin in his later years
but that was Carlin in his later years
but that was Carlin in his later years how about the people in Kilauea Hawaii
how about the people in Kilauea Hawaii
how about the people in Kilauea Hawaii who build their homes right next to an
who build their homes right next to an
who build their homes right next to an active volcano and then wonder why they
active volcano and then wonder why they
active volcano and then wonder why they have lava in the living world kind of
have lava in the living world kind of
have lava in the living world kind of wonder if he wanted to see humanity fall
wonder if he wanted to see humanity fall
wonder if he wanted to see humanity fall flat on its collective face planet will
flat on its collective face planet will
flat on its collective face planet will shake us off like a bad case of please a
shake us off like a bad case of please a
shake us off like a bad case of please a surface nuisance number six things you
surface nuisance number six things you
surface nuisance number six things you never see hear or wanna hear like we’ve
never see hear or wanna hear like we’ve
never see hear or wanna hear like we’ve mentioned Carlin was a fan of words and
mentioned Carlin was a fan of words and
mentioned Carlin was a fan of words and theoretical situations there’s a lot of
theoretical situations there’s a lot of
theoretical situations there’s a lot of things you never see and you don’t know
things you never see and you don’t know
things you never see and you don’t know you don’t see him because you don’t see
you don’t see him because you don’t see
you don’t see him because you don’t see him you got to see something for us to
him you got to see something for us to
him you got to see something for us to know you never saw it then you see it
know you never saw it then you see it
know you never saw it then you see it and say hey I never saw that too late
and say hey I never saw that too late
and say hey I never saw that too late you just saw it the fast-talking
you just saw it the fast-talking
you just saw it the fast-talking mind-bending wordsmith invents a
mind-bending wordsmith invents a
mind-bending wordsmith invents a succession of bizarre hypotheticals
succession of bizarre hypotheticals
succession of bizarre hypotheticals strung together by his increasingly
strung together by his increasingly
strung together by his increasingly gravelly voice well Jim there’s no
gravelly voice well Jim there’s no
gravelly voice well Jim there’s no reason why you shouldn’t live another 20
reason why you shouldn’t live another 20
reason why you shouldn’t live another 20 to 30 years however you will be bleeding
to 30 years however you will be bleeding
to 30 years however you will be bleeding constantly from both eyes only the
constantly from both eyes only the
constantly from both eyes only the things you never see hear or wanna hear
things you never see hear or wanna hear
things you never see hear or wanna hear were a little more innocent than those
were a little more innocent than those
were a little more innocent than those listed in State Prison Franz well sort
listed in State Prison Franz well sort
listed in State Prison Franz well sort of as soon as I put this hot poker in my
of as soon as I put this hot poker in my
of as soon as I put this hot poker in my ass I’m going to chop my dick off
ass I’m going to chop my dick off
ass I’m going to chop my dick off sometimes all it takes is a funny turn
sometimes all it takes is a funny turn
sometimes all it takes is a funny turn of phrase and a good dose of profanity
of phrase and a good dose of profanity
of phrase and a good dose of profanity to bust a gut I’m the first person in
to bust a gut I’m the first person in
to bust a gut I’m the first person in the world to put those words together in
the world to put those words together in
the world to put those words together in that particular
number five Carlin on death and Ageing
number five Carlin on death and Ageing recorded just months before his death
recorded just months before his death
recorded just months before his death the album it’s bad for you features
the album it’s bad for you features
the album it’s bad for you features several bits that deal with ageing and
several bits that deal with ageing and
several bits that deal with ageing and death she not have been doing going
death she not have been doing going
death she not have been doing going through my address book and crossing out
through my address book and crossing out
through my address book and crossing out the dead people you do that that’s a lot
the dead people you do that that’s a lot
the dead people you do that that’s a lot of fun isn’t it and of course the
of fun isn’t it and of course the
of fun isn’t it and of course the ridiculous things people say when
ridiculous things people say when
ridiculous things people say when confronted with these facts of life you
confronted with these facts of life you
confronted with these facts of life you know I lost my father ah he’ll turn up
know I lost my father ah he’ll turn up
know I lost my father ah he’ll turn up particularly poignant because of its
particularly poignant because of its
particularly poignant because of its timing satirical as always and sharp
timing satirical as always and sharp
timing satirical as always and sharp tongued as ever
tongued as ever
tongued as ever Carlin goes for logic over emotion
Carlin goes for logic over emotion
Carlin goes for logic over emotion questions false sympathy and reiterates
questions false sympathy and reiterates
questions false sympathy and reiterates his intolerance for bullshit if someone
his intolerance for bullshit if someone
his intolerance for bullshit if someone did somehow survive death in a non
did somehow survive death in a non
did somehow survive death in a non physical form I personally think he’d be
physical form I personally think he’d be
physical form I personally think he’d be far too busy with other celestial
far too busy with other celestial
far too busy with other celestial activities than to be standing around
activities than to be standing around
activities than to be standing around paradise smiling down number four
paradise smiling down number four
paradise smiling down number four Carlin on religion and God depending on
Carlin on religion and God depending on
Carlin on religion and God depending on your point of view this bit could be
your point of view this bit could be
your point of view this bit could be incredibly abrasive or incredibly
incredibly abrasive or incredibly
incredibly abrasive or incredibly relevant but you can be sure Carlin did
relevant but you can be sure Carlin did
relevant but you can be sure Carlin did not care to do any of these ten things
not care to do any of these ten things
not care to do any of these ten things he has a special place full of fire and
he has a special place full of fire and
he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and
smoke and burning and torture and
smoke and burning and torture and anguish when he will send you to live
anguish when he will send you to live
anguish when he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream
and suffer and burn and choke and scream
and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of
and cry forever and ever till the end of
and cry forever and ever till the end of time but he loves you he knew that
time but he loves you he knew that
time but he loves you he knew that nothing in smart comedy was out of
nothing in smart comedy was out of
nothing in smart comedy was out of bounds his Catholic upbringing inspired
bounds his Catholic upbringing inspired
bounds his Catholic upbringing inspired a hostile view of religion but also
a hostile view of religion but also
a hostile view of religion but also helped him understand the topic enough
helped him understand the topic enough
helped him understand the topic enough to pick it apart with surgical precision
to pick it apart with surgical precision
to pick it apart with surgical precision suppose your prayers aren’t answered
suppose your prayers aren’t answered
suppose your prayers aren’t answered what do you say well it’s God’s will
what do you say well it’s God’s will
what do you say well it’s God’s will thy will be done fine but if it’s God’s
thy will be done fine but if it’s God’s
thy will be done fine but if it’s God’s will he’s gonna do what he wants to
will he’s gonna do what he wants to
will he’s gonna do what he wants to anyway
anyway
anyway why the fuck bother praying in the first
why the fuck bother praying in the first
why the fuck bother praying in the first place hey he almost makes praying to Joe
place hey he almost makes praying to Joe
place hey he almost makes praying to Joe Pesci makes sense how can you beat that
Pesci makes sense how can you beat that
Pesci makes sense how can you beat that two reasons first of all I think he’s a
two reasons first of all I think he’s a
two reasons first of all I think he’s a good actor okay to me that dudes second
good actor okay to me that dudes second
good actor okay to me that dudes second he looks like a guy who can get things
he looks like a guy who can get things
he looks like a guy who can get things done Joe
done Joe
done Joe fuck away number three a place for my
fuck away number three a place for my
fuck away number three a place for my stuff carlins stand up focused on many
stuff carlins stand up focused on many
stuff carlins stand up focused on many profound topics but it can’t all be
profound topics but it can’t all be
profound topics but it can’t all be religion politics and death everybody’s
religion politics and death everybody’s
religion politics and death everybody’s got to have a little place for they’ll
got to have a little place for they’ll
got to have a little place for they’ll stuff that’s all life is about that’s
stuff that’s all life is about that’s
stuff that’s all life is about that’s the meaning of life trying to find a
the meaning of life trying to find a
the meaning of life trying to find a place to keep your stuff with spot-on
place to keep your stuff with spot-on
place to keep your stuff with spot-on observational humor like this Harlan
observational humor like this Harlan
observational humor like this Harlan wins everyone back and blows their minds
wins everyone back and blows their minds
wins everyone back and blows their minds and we mean everyone who can’t relate to
and we mean everyone who can’t relate to
and we mean everyone who can’t relate to the idea of stuff having stuff keeping
the idea of stuff having stuff keeping
the idea of stuff having stuff keeping stuff getting more stuff it’s all your
stuff getting more stuff it’s all your
stuff getting more stuff it’s all your house is it’s a place to keep your stuff
house is it’s a place to keep your stuff
house is it’s a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff
while you go out and get more stuff
while you go out and get more stuff great writing and even greater delivery
great writing and even greater delivery
great writing and even greater delivery help this bit give new meaning to the
help this bit give new meaning to the
help this bit give new meaning to the phrase it’s funny cuz it’s true
phrase it’s funny cuz it’s true
phrase it’s funny cuz it’s true sometimes you got to move sometimes you
sometimes you got to move sometimes you
sometimes you got to move sometimes you got a move you got to get a bigger house
got a move you got to get a bigger house
got a move you got to get a bigger house why too much stuff number two baseball
why too much stuff number two baseball
why too much stuff number two baseball and football baseball is played on a
and football baseball is played on a
and football baseball is played on a diamond in a park the baseball park
diamond in a park the baseball park
diamond in a park the baseball park football is played on a gridiron in a
football is played on a gridiron in a
football is played on a gridiron in a stadium War Memorial Stadium while many
stadium War Memorial Stadium while many
stadium War Memorial Stadium while many praised his political comedy Carlin was
praised his political comedy Carlin was
praised his political comedy Carlin was at his best when focusing on lighter
at his best when focusing on lighter
at his best when focusing on lighter Universal commentaries on everyday
Universal commentaries on everyday
Universal commentaries on everyday things perhaps one of the greatest
things perhaps one of the greatest
things perhaps one of the greatest examples of his grip on language and pop
examples of his grip on language and pop
examples of his grip on language and pop culture is this famous sports themed
culture is this famous sports themed
culture is this famous sports themed routine which he tweaked throughout his
routine which he tweaked throughout his
routine which he tweaked throughout his career baseball has no time limit we
career baseball has no time limit we
career baseball has no time limit we don’t know how long it’s gonna last we
don’t know how long it’s gonna last we
don’t know how long it’s gonna last we might have extra innings football is
might have extra innings football is
might have extra innings football is rigidly timed and it will end even if we
rigidly timed and it will end even if we
rigidly timed and it will end even if we have to go to sudden death why do you
have to go to sudden death why do you
have to go to sudden death why do you keep coming back to it it’s a classic
keep coming back to it it’s a classic
keep coming back to it it’s a classic funny accurate biting articulate and a
funny accurate biting articulate and a
funny accurate biting articulate and a little mean its Carlin to a teen
little mean its Carlin to a teen
little mean its Carlin to a teen football you get a penalty in baseball
football you get a penalty in baseball
football you get a penalty in baseball you make an error oops
you make an error oops
you make an error oops number one seven words you can never say
number one seven words you can never say
number one seven words you can never say on television it was the early 70s and
on television it was the early 70s and
on television it was the early 70s and Carlin was emerging from his mainstream
Carlin was emerging from his mainstream
Carlin was emerging from his mainstream shell as a counterculture icon all I
shell as a counterculture icon all I
shell as a counterculture icon all I could think of was shit piss fuck cunt
could think of was shit piss fuck cunt
could think of was shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits man
cocksucker motherfucker and tits man
cocksucker motherfucker and tits man this breakout bit built Carlin’s name
this breakout bit built Carlin’s name
this breakout bit built Carlin’s name and got him arrested while the updated
and got him arrested while the updated
and got him arrested while the updated filthy words took things to the Supreme
filthy words took things to the Supreme
filthy words took things to the Supreme Court there are words that you can say
Court there are words that you can say
Court there are words that you can say no problem typography no one has ever
no problem typography no one has ever
no problem typography no one has ever gone to jail for screen
gone to jail for screen
gone to jail for screen topography but there are some words that
topography but there are some words that
topography but there are some words that you can go to jail for indecent but not
you can go to jail for indecent but not
you can go to jail for indecent but not obscene this became his signature
obscene this became his signature
obscene this became his signature routine because it dissected language
routine because it dissected language
routine because it dissected language skewered the status quo and had lots of
skewered the status quo and had lots of
skewered the status quo and had lots of cursing nobody even tells you when
cursing nobody even tells you when
cursing nobody even tells you when you’re a kid what the words are that
you’re a kid what the words are that
you’re a kid what the words are that you’re supposed to avoid you have to say
you’re supposed to avoid you have to say
you’re supposed to avoid you have to say them to find out which ones they are
them to find out which ones they are
them to find out which ones they are shit fuck that’s true we’re still
shit fuck that’s true we’re still
shit fuck that’s true we’re still looking for the job we’re swearing dis
looking for the job we’re swearing dis
looking for the job we’re swearing dis applauded poontang
do you agree with our list say that’s
do you agree with our list say that’s fairly decent which is your favorite
fairly decent which is your favorite
fairly decent which is your favorite George Carlin routine for more top 10s
George Carlin routine for more top 10s
George Carlin routine for more top 10s be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com
be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com life is not that complicated you get up
life is not that complicated you get up
life is not that complicated you get up you go to work eat three meals you take
you go to work eat three meals you take
you go to work eat three meals you take one good shit you go back to bed what’s
one good shit you go back to bed what’s
one good shit you go back to bed what’s the fucking mystery
”
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