
real I’ve been trying to lose 10 pounds for about seven years and think this
for about seven years and think this
for about seven years and think this might be the year I’ve been going to a
might be the year I’ve been going to a
might be the year I’ve been going to a woman’s exercise class lately I’ve given
woman’s exercise class lately I’ve given
woman’s exercise class lately I’ve given up on having a traditional male physique
up on having a traditional male physique
up on having a traditional male physique and so now i’m going for strong
and so now i’m going for strong
and so now i’m going for strong independent woman and it’s yeah it’s
independent woman and it’s yeah it’s
independent woman and it’s yeah it’s going pretty well this chimeneas a
going pretty well this chimeneas a
going pretty well this chimeneas a regular on late night television has
regular on late night television has
regular on late night television has multiple Comedy Central specials and is
multiple Comedy Central specials and is
multiple Comedy Central specials and is starring in his solos Broadway fan you
starring in his solos Broadway fan you
starring in his solos Broadway fan you mind if we start soon I have to go do my
mind if we start soon I have to go do my
mind if we start soon I have to go do my show right now okay thanks Mike
show right now okay thanks Mike
show right now okay thanks Mike Birbiglia I met Jenny in st. Louis with
Birbiglia I met Jenny in st. Louis with
Birbiglia I met Jenny in st. Louis with my friend Andy was working for her there
my friend Andy was working for her there
my friend Andy was working for her there and he introduced us in their hotel
and he introduced us in their hotel
and he introduced us in their hotel lobby and from the moment I met her I
lobby and from the moment I met her I
lobby and from the moment I met her I knew I wanted to sleep with her at least
knew I wanted to sleep with her at least
knew I wanted to sleep with her at least once it’s a show that’s all about love
once it’s a show that’s all about love
once it’s a show that’s all about love and heartbreak and marriage and the
and heartbreak and marriage and the
and heartbreak and marriage and the reasons to get married the reason to not
reasons to get married the reason to not
reasons to get married the reason to not get married and it’s really just kind of
get married and it’s really just kind of
get married and it’s really just kind of about all the kind of pains that we’ve
about all the kind of pains that we’ve
about all the kind of pains that we’ve all experienced in our lives and and our
all experienced in our lives and and our
all experienced in our lives and and our kind of in our collection of baggage I
kind of in our collection of baggage I
kind of in our collection of baggage I think of myself as sort of a sex maybe
think of myself as sort of a sex maybe
think of myself as sort of a sex maybe uh which is would just say that if I’m
uh which is would just say that if I’m
uh which is would just say that if I’m seeing a girl she’ll think I’d have sex
seeing a girl she’ll think I’d have sex
seeing a girl she’ll think I’d have sex with him maybe you know um I’m not
with him maybe you know um I’m not
with him maybe you know um I’m not ashamed of that I mean there were
ashamed of that I mean there were
ashamed of that I mean there were periods in my life where I was the sex
periods in my life where I was the sex
periods in my life where I was the sex never for a long time I didn’t believe
never for a long time I didn’t believe
never for a long time I didn’t believe in the idea of marriage you know I
in the idea of marriage you know I
in the idea of marriage you know I decided as a rule I’m not not gonna get
decided as a rule I’m not not gonna get
decided as a rule I’m not not gonna get married until I’m sure that nothing else
married until I’m sure that nothing else
married until I’m sure that nothing else good can happen in my life you know cuz
good can happen in my life you know cuz
good can happen in my life you know cuz that I never looked at my parents
that I never looked at my parents
that I never looked at my parents marriage or really anyone had been
marriage or really anyone had been
marriage or really anyone had been married more than 30 years and thought
married more than 30 years and thought
married more than 30 years and thought like I gotta get me some of that you
like I gotta get me some of that you
like I gotta get me some of that you hear these homophobic arguments where
hear these homophobic arguments where
hear these homophobic arguments where these guys are like I don’t like it when
these guys are like I don’t like it when
these guys are like I don’t like it when I see two dudes making out in the street
I see two dudes making out in the street
I see two dudes making out in the street and like I feel that way about anyone
and like I feel that way about anyone
and like I feel that way about anyone you know like making out it’s so sloppy
you know like making out it’s so sloppy
you know like making out it’s so sloppy you know it’s like watching a dog eat
you know it’s like watching a dog eat
you know it’s like watching a dog eat spaghetti the secret or the surprise I
spaghetti the secret or the surprise I
spaghetti the secret or the surprise I guess is is that is how I come to grips
guess is is that is how I come to grips
guess is is that is how I come to grips with the idea of getting married because
with the idea of getting married because
with the idea of getting married because I did
I did
I did married today I need to know why are you
married today I need to know why are you
married today I need to know why are you wearing the sweatband I’m on an
wearing the sweatband I’m on an
wearing the sweatband I’m on an international tour right now I’m going
international tour right now I’m going
international tour right now I’m going at gym Montreal and then from Montreal
at gym Montreal and then from Montreal
at gym Montreal and then from Montreal to Sydney Australia I’m Sydney Australia
to Sydney Australia I’m Sydney Australia
to Sydney Australia I’m Sydney Australia to San Francisco and then taking the
to San Francisco and then taking the
to San Francisco and then taking the tour back to New York City and where
tour back to New York City and where
tour back to New York City and where we’re gonna sit the show my new show
we’re gonna sit the show my new show
we’re gonna sit the show my new show called my girlfriend’s boyfriend and so
called my girlfriend’s boyfriend and so
called my girlfriend’s boyfriend and so just one of them you’ll represent
just one of them you’ll represent
just one of them you’ll represent represent the colors of America and
represent the colors of America and
represent the colors of America and nobody hates anybody with an American
nobody hates anybody with an American
nobody hates anybody with an American headband right from the stories we hear
headband right from the stories we hear
headband right from the stories we hear on stage you have created a crazy life
on stage you have created a crazy life
on stage you have created a crazy life what’s in your opinion the craziest
what’s in your opinion the craziest
what’s in your opinion the craziest experience you’ve ever had the craziest
experience you’ve ever had the craziest
experience you’ve ever had the craziest thing is I talk about actually I’ll hold
thing is I talk about actually I’ll hold
thing is I talk about actually I’ll hold up my book is my book that came out this
up my book is my book that came out this
up my book is my book that came out this fall to help sleep walk with me and
fall to help sleep walk with me and
fall to help sleep walk with me and other painfully true stories the
other painfully true stories the
other painfully true stories the craziest thing that ever happened to me
craziest thing that ever happened to me
craziest thing that ever happened to me is I have a sleepwalking disorder i’m
is I have a sleepwalking disorder i’m
is I have a sleepwalking disorder i’m not making this up not doing as a piece
not making this up not doing as a piece
not making this up not doing as a piece of stick it’s it’s I have a sleep
of stick it’s it’s I have a sleep
of stick it’s it’s I have a sleep disorder that’s very dangerous that was
disorder that’s very dangerous that was
disorder that’s very dangerous that was not diagnosed for a long time and it was
not diagnosed for a long time and it was
not diagnosed for a long time and it was called REM behavior disorder and I
called REM behavior disorder and I
called REM behavior disorder and I literally had an incident that nearly
literally had an incident that nearly
literally had an incident that nearly killed me where i left the hotel that I
killed me where i left the hotel that I
killed me where i left the hotel that I was staying in Wallace Lee and it’s
was staying in Wallace Lee and it’s
was staying in Wallace Lee and it’s actually much more insane than that but
actually much more insane than that but
actually much more insane than that but you’ll have to read the book you
you’ll have to read the book you
you’ll have to read the book you apparently need to be sedated before you
apparently need to be sedated before you
apparently need to be sedated before you go to bed I take medication which for
go to bed I take medication which for
go to bed I take medication which for RVD which is what i have and then I were
RVD which is what i have and then I were
RVD which is what i have and then I were sleeping bag up to my neck and I wear
sleeping bag up to my neck and I wear
sleeping bag up to my neck and I wear mittens so I can’t open the sleeping bag
mittens so I can’t open the sleeping bag
mittens so I can’t open the sleeping bag and yeah so that’s that that’s in that
and yeah so that’s that that’s in that
and yeah so that’s that that’s in that sleep walk with me and then actually
sleep walk with me and then actually
sleep walk with me and then actually right now I’m working on the screenplay
right now I’m working on the screenplay
right now I’m working on the screenplay adaptation of them sleepwalk with me and
adaptation of them sleepwalk with me and
adaptation of them sleepwalk with me and we’re planning to shoot that this summer
we’re planning to shoot that this summer
we’re planning to shoot that this summer so well thank you get you having you
so well thank you get you having you
so well thank you get you having you thank you thanks for having me on the
thank you thanks for having me on the
thank you thanks for having me on the Internet
”
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