John’s Rant Of The Day: The Economy

welcome to watchmojo.com I am

welcome to watchmojo.com I am internationally famous but fiscally

internationally famous but fiscally

internationally famous but fiscally irresponsible comedian John Hastings

irresponsible comedian John Hastings

irresponsible comedian John Hastings ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about

ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about

ladies and gentlemen let’s talk about the economy earlier this year I actually

the economy earlier this year I actually

the economy earlier this year I actually late last year the economy went belly-up

late last year the economy went belly-up

late last year the economy went belly-up more belly-up than a dolphin on the

more belly-up than a dolphin on the

more belly-up than a dolphin on the beach more belly-up than a fat man after

beach more belly-up than a fat man after

beach more belly-up than a fat man after an all you can eat burrito contest yes

an all you can eat burrito contest yes

an all you can eat burrito contest yes that’s right our economy resembles a

that’s right our economy resembles a

that’s right our economy resembles a sheet with Sony stab holes in it you

sheet with Sony stab holes in it you

sheet with Sony stab holes in it you would think hey who tried to kill me

would think hey who tried to kill me

would think hey who tried to kill me while I was asleep well there’s

while I was asleep well there’s

while I was asleep well there’s something we need to stop doing we need

something we need to stop doing we need

something we need to stop doing we need to stop blaming everything on the

to stop blaming everything on the

to stop blaming everything on the economy not everything is the economy’s

economy not everything is the economy’s

economy not everything is the economy’s fault yes you can blame the economy when

fault yes you can blame the economy when

fault yes you can blame the economy when your restaurant is not full on a

your restaurant is not full on a

your restaurant is not full on a Saturday night but if your girlfriend

Saturday night but if your girlfriend

Saturday night but if your girlfriend works up with you because you slept with

works up with you because you slept with

works up with you because you slept with her sister guess what that’s not the

her sister guess what that’s not the

her sister guess what that’s not the economy’s fault if the bus is late it’s

economy’s fault if the bus is late it’s

economy’s fault if the bus is late it’s not the economy’s fault that’s the bus

not the economy’s fault that’s the bus

not the economy’s fault that’s the bus driver he’s a douche he’s probably

driver he’s a douche he’s probably

driver he’s a douche he’s probably checking the stock prices going shit but

checking the stock prices going shit but

checking the stock prices going shit but back to the economy we need to

back to the economy we need to

back to the economy we need to understand something ladies and

understand something ladies and

understand something ladies and gentlemen we need to understand who

gentlemen we need to understand who

gentlemen we need to understand who caused the economy it was caused by the

caused the economy it was caused by the

caused the economy it was caused by the worst group of diabolical minds this

worst group of diabolical minds this

worst group of diabolical minds this world has ever known you know who I’m

world has ever known you know who I’m

world has ever known you know who I’m talking about I’m talking about old

talking about I’m talking about old

talking about I’m talking about old white people old what people cause the

white people old what people cause the

white people old what people cause the President of the United States you know

President of the United States you know

President of the United States you know you love him Bill Clinton to admit he

you love him Bill Clinton to admit he

you love him Bill Clinton to admit he got a blow job outside of his marriage

got a blow job outside of his marriage

got a blow job outside of his marriage and say that getting blowjobs was wrong

and say that getting blowjobs was wrong

and say that getting blowjobs was wrong and this is just one guy these guys took

and this is just one guy these guys took

and this is just one guy these guys took the entire financial system wipe their

the entire financial system wipe their

the entire financial system wipe their butts with it and threw it in the toilet

butts with it and threw it in the toilet

butts with it and threw it in the toilet and we want to solve it in just a couple

and we want to solve it in just a couple

and we want to solve it in just a couple of days but just giving money here and

of days but just giving money here and

of days but just giving money here and giving money there ladies and gentlemen

giving money there ladies and gentlemen

giving money there ladies and gentlemen the problem with it is this we are

the problem with it is this we are

the problem with it is this we are making too much money why don’t we try

making too much money why don’t we try

making too much money why don’t we try this what does it everyone get a dollar

this what does it everyone get a dollar

this what does it everyone get a dollar a day if you used to have 50 bazillion

a day if you used to have 50 bazillion

a day if you used to have 50 bazillion dollars one dollar then we take

dollars one dollar then we take

dollars one dollar then we take everyone’s money we put it in a big pile

everyone’s money we put it in a big pile

everyone’s money we put it in a big pile and we say look at all this money in the

and we say look at all this money in the

and we say look at all this money in the entire world go holy shit take on all

entire world go holy shit take on all

entire world go holy shit take on all this money we gotta listen to them and

this money we gotta listen to them and

this money we gotta listen to them and we don’t let them come and visit for

we don’t let them come and visit for

we don’t let them come and visit for five years and in that five years that

five years and in that five years that

five years and in that five years that dollar a day well that takes out some of

dollar a day well that takes out some of

dollar a day well that takes out some of the weaker in the pack you know who I’m

the weaker in the pack you know who I’m

the weaker in the pack you know who I’m talking about I’m talking about the old

talking about I’m talking about the old

talking about I’m talking about the old white people so once they’re dead and

white people so once they’re dead and

white people so once they’re dead and buried we’ll have a utopian society

buried we’ll have a utopian society

buried we’ll have a utopian society it’ll be great i’ll bring cupcakes see

it’ll be great i’ll bring cupcakes see

it’ll be great i’ll bring cupcakes see you there for the internet I am John

you there for the internet I am John

you there for the internet I am John Hastings