hi I’m famous comedian John Hastings and this is of course watchmojo.com what are
this is of course watchmojo.com what are
this is of course watchmojo.com what are we talking about tonight today whenever
we talking about tonight today whenever
we talking about tonight today whenever you’re watching this what we’re going to
you’re watching this what we’re going to
you’re watching this what we’re going to talk about is women yes this one’s for
talk about is women yes this one’s for
talk about is women yes this one’s for the ladies particularly a part of the
the ladies particularly a part of the
the ladies particularly a part of the ladies we call it the vagina yes the
ladies we call it the vagina yes the
ladies we call it the vagina yes the vagina
vagina
vagina this one’s x-rated so you may want to
this one’s x-rated so you may want to
this one’s x-rated so you may want to earmuff the kids so ladies and gentlemen
earmuff the kids so ladies and gentlemen
earmuff the kids so ladies and gentlemen the vagina has been a very complex
the vagina has been a very complex
the vagina has been a very complex organism men have spent years upon years
organism men have spent years upon years
organism men have spent years upon years trying to figure out what’s going on
trying to figure out what’s going on
trying to figure out what’s going on with that we’ve gone to Lilith Fair to
with that we’ve gone to Lilith Fair to
with that we’ve gone to Lilith Fair to talk to lesbians to give us a roadmap to
talk to lesbians to give us a roadmap to
talk to lesbians to give us a roadmap to figure out how to deal with it and we
figure out how to deal with it and we
figure out how to deal with it and we don’t know how but luckily thankfully
don’t know how but luckily thankfully
don’t know how but luckily thankfully the medical product community in North
the medical product community in North
the medical product community in North America has come up with some nice
America has come up with some nice
America has come up with some nice innovations to help the ladies and the
innovations to help the ladies and the
innovations to help the ladies and the lads – let’s talk about them they got
lads – let’s talk about them they got
lads – let’s talk about them they got one called the tightening yeah that’s
one called the tightening yeah that’s
one called the tightening yeah that’s nothing you want to put near your crotch
nothing you want to put near your crotch
nothing you want to put near your crotch isn’t it ladies and gentlemen
isn’t it ladies and gentlemen
isn’t it ladies and gentlemen and how are they gonna market this let
and how are they gonna market this let
and how are they gonna market this let me tell you what their advertising
me tell you what their advertising
me tell you what their advertising slogan is buddies and pals it is the
slogan is buddies and pals it is the
slogan is buddies and pals it is the tightening experience the pleasure of
tightening experience the pleasure of
tightening experience the pleasure of losing your virginity every time you
losing your virginity every time you
losing your virginity every time you have intercourse do you remember that
have intercourse do you remember that
have intercourse do you remember that pleasure ladies and gentlemen do you
pleasure ladies and gentlemen do you
pleasure ladies and gentlemen do you ever want to experience that again when
ever want to experience that again when
ever want to experience that again when I did it was like putting a piece of
I did it was like putting a piece of
I did it was like putting a piece of furniture from Ikea
furniture from Ikea
furniture from Ikea together for the first time you know
together for the first time you know
together for the first time you know what I mean you’re in the dark and
what I mean you’re in the dark and
what I mean you’re in the dark and you’re sweaty and members of your family
you’re sweaty and members of your family
you’re sweaty and members of your family are standing around there – shouting
are standing around there – shouting
are standing around there – shouting instructions and nothing makes sense and
instructions and nothing makes sense and
instructions and nothing makes sense and they give you a tool and it’s working
they give you a tool and it’s working
they give you a tool and it’s working but not in the way you thought it would
but not in the way you thought it would
but not in the way you thought it would and you’re tired and you’re turned
and you’re tired and you’re turned
and you’re tired and you’re turned around and all of a sudden you just have
around and all of a sudden you just have
around and all of a sudden you just have pieces left over do you know what I mean
pieces left over do you know what I mean
pieces left over do you know what I mean and it doesn’t stop there because they
and it doesn’t stop there because they
and it doesn’t stop there because they now have a pill yes a pill that you
now have a pill yes a pill that you
now have a pill yes a pill that you beautiful women you could take you could
beautiful women you could take you could
beautiful women you could take you could take it and it will blow the size of
take it and it will blow the size of
take it and it will blow the size of your clitoris up yes so men can find it
your clitoris up yes so men can find it
your clitoris up yes so men can find it and prove its existence cuz listen up
and prove its existence cuz listen up
and prove its existence cuz listen up I’m pretty sure it’s still on the list
I’m pretty sure it’s still on the list
I’m pretty sure it’s still on the list with unicorns and werewolves okay just
with unicorns and werewolves okay just
with unicorns and werewolves okay just put that in your mind grapes and soap
put that in your mind grapes and soap
put that in your mind grapes and soap but how are they going to market this
but how are they going to market this
but how are they going to market this it’s an advertising world you know what
it’s an advertising world you know what
it’s an advertising world you know what I mean maybe it’s gonna be a weird
I mean maybe it’s gonna be a weird
I mean maybe it’s gonna be a weird infomercial a guy sitting in a creepy
infomercial a guy sitting in a creepy
infomercial a guy sitting in a creepy dark apartment wearing like you know a
dark apartment wearing like you know a
dark apartment wearing like you know a sports coat and boxers and nothing else
sports coat and boxers and nothing else
sports coat and boxers and nothing else being like all right ladies I know your
being like all right ladies I know your
being like all right ladies I know your man friend comes over and he’s
man friend comes over and he’s
man friend comes over and he’s hanging around on your bingo bangle like
hanging around on your bingo bangle like
hanging around on your bingo bangle like he’s using one of those old-style rotary
he’s using one of those old-style rotary
he’s using one of those old-style rotary telephones pleasing you he is not will
telephones pleasing you he is not will
telephones pleasing you he is not will fear not now with clitoral max yes
fear not now with clitoral max yes
fear not now with clitoral max yes little max your bing-bang-boom will be
little max your bing-bang-boom will be
little max your bing-bang-boom will be blown up to about the size of a
blown up to about the size of a
blown up to about the size of a dartboard so all it’ll have to do is
dartboard so all it’ll have to do is
dartboard so all it’ll have to do is high-five that shit and you’ll be
high-five that shit and you’ll be
high-five that shit and you’ll be orgasming for the next week for the
orgasming for the next week for the
orgasming for the next week for the internet and for vaginas my name is John
internet and for vaginas my name is John
internet and for vaginas my name is John Hastings celebrate cel five-five good
Hastings celebrate cel five-five good
Hastings celebrate cel five-five good one John
”
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