never go shopping for like a really cute little sexy black dress and you come
little sexy black dress and you come
little sexy black dress and you come home in an extra-large pepperoni pizza
home in an extra-large pepperoni pizza
home in an extra-large pepperoni pizza hi I’m Veronica watchmojo.com and today
hi I’m Veronica watchmojo.com and today
hi I’m Veronica watchmojo.com and today were chatting with comedian Vanessa
were chatting with comedian Vanessa
were chatting with comedian Vanessa Hollingshead about her career and we
Hollingshead about her career and we
Hollingshead about her career and we even get to meet her protege
even get to meet her protege
even get to meet her protege the way I see it as if Ernest Hemmingway
the way I see it as if Ernest Hemmingway
the way I see it as if Ernest Hemmingway can write Old Man and the sea completely
can write Old Man and the sea completely
can write Old Man and the sea completely shit-faced surely you can figure out how
shit-faced surely you can figure out how
shit-faced surely you can figure out how to do a spreadsheet check a few emails
to do a spreadsheet check a few emails
to do a spreadsheet check a few emails for the light buzz on you began your
for the light buzz on you began your
for the light buzz on you began your comedy career with just five minutes at
comedy career with just five minutes at
comedy career with just five minutes at an open mic night what was it that made
an open mic night what was it that made
an open mic night what was it that made you get up on stage that night well I
you get up on stage that night well I
you get up on stage that night well I waited for four and a half hours I had
waited for four and a half hours I had
waited for four and a half hours I had my temps that when I was a temp I
my temps that when I was a temp I
my temps that when I was a temp I brought people from my job and it was
brought people from my job and it was
brought people from my job and it was four and a half hours I was a nervous
four and a half hours I was a nervous
four and a half hours I was a nervous wreck and I was just watching comedians
wreck and I was just watching comedians
wreck and I was just watching comedians back and forth and finally when it came
back and forth and finally when it came
back and forth and finally when it came unto me I just remember thinking even
unto me I just remember thinking even
unto me I just remember thinking even Richard Pryor wouldn’t be funny at this
Richard Pryor wouldn’t be funny at this
Richard Pryor wouldn’t be funny at this point they wouldn’t even find Richard
point they wouldn’t even find Richard
point they wouldn’t even find Richard Pryor funding I got a little chuckle but
Pryor funding I got a little chuckle but
Pryor funding I got a little chuckle but it was there was something like just in
it was there was something like just in
it was there was something like just in the telling the story you’re doing it
the telling the story you’re doing it
the telling the story you’re doing it that I suddenly like I just thought I’m
that I suddenly like I just thought I’m
that I suddenly like I just thought I’m home I’m home this is what I was meant
home I’m home this is what I was meant
home I’m home this is what I was meant to be doing but not everyone wants they
to be doing but not everyone wants they
to be doing but not everyone wants they try so what was it that drew you to the
try so what was it that drew you to the
try so what was it that drew you to the scene
scene
scene I used to temp and I used to had a
I used to temp and I used to had a
I used to temp and I used to had a roommate when I lived in Queens she’s
roommate when I lived in Queens she’s
roommate when I lived in Queens she’s like did you ever think about doing
like did you ever think about doing
like did you ever think about doing stand-up comedy like no no what do you
stand-up comedy like no no what do you
stand-up comedy like no no what do you create no no I’m an actress
create no no I’m an actress
create no no I’m an actress I’m Shakespearean trained I went to Lee
I’m Shakespearean trained I went to Lee
I’m Shakespearean trained I went to Lee Strasberg no no and then I was reading a
Strasberg no no and then I was reading a
Strasberg no no and then I was reading a backstage about how they look for sick
backstage about how they look for sick
backstage about how they look for sick to make sitcoms they use comedians so I
to make sitcoms they use comedians so I
to make sitcoms they use comedians so I just thought well I could try yeah I
just thought well I could try yeah I
just thought well I could try yeah I could try I said yeah I’ll try it all
could try I said yeah I’ll try it all
could try I said yeah I’ll try it all right and again I was like that fearless
right and again I was like that fearless
right and again I was like that fearless quality let me just try and then had to
quality let me just try and then had to
quality let me just try and then had to try and get people to come so you had it
try and get people to come so you had it
try and get people to come so you had it was bringer shows I only had so many
was bringer shows I only had so many
was bringer shows I only had so many friends so he’s actually going to
friends so he’s actually going to
friends so he’s actually going to 12-step groups and you know being like
12-step groups and you know being like
12-step groups and you know being like I’m you know my name is Vanessa I’m a
I’m you know my name is Vanessa I’m a
I’m you know my name is Vanessa I’m a compulsive overeater I’m doing comedy
compulsive overeater I’m doing comedy
compulsive overeater I’m doing comedy and I think I could cut down on my food
and I think I could cut down on my food
and I think I could cut down on my food you know if I had a little bit of
you know if I had a little bit of
you know if I had a little bit of support I’m going again I’m going to
support I’m going again I’m going to
support I’m going again I’m going to different anonymous groups running my
different anonymous groups running my
different anonymous groups running my few minutes to try and get a laugh out
few minutes to try and get a laugh out
few minutes to try and get a laugh out of them and to get people to come you
of them and to get people to come you
of them and to get people to come you know then I was paying my friends to
know then I was paying my friends to
know then I was paying my friends to come
come
come I was temping I was sleeping like two
I was temping I was sleeping like two
I was temping I was sleeping like two hours a night living on coffee
hours a night living on coffee
hours a night living on coffee watermelon and Nicki cigarettes and just
watermelon and Nicki cigarettes and just
watermelon and Nicki cigarettes and just trying to get my just spending that
trying to get my just spending that
trying to get my just spending that whole year trying to get funny while I
whole year trying to get funny while I
whole year trying to get funny while I was doing you know temping all day and
was doing you know temping all day and
was doing you know temping all day and then I would sleep in the bathroom
then I would sleep in the bathroom
then I would sleep in the bathroom stalls and I just I just couldn’t look
stalls and I just I just couldn’t look
stalls and I just I just couldn’t look like this it was meant to be
like this it was meant to be
like this it was meant to be I just read your Facebook then they got
I just read your Facebook then they got
I just read your Facebook then they got Google Wave like ride the wave you gotta
Google Wave like ride the wave you gotta
Google Wave like ride the wave you gotta be invited it’s like the Studio 54 of
be invited it’s like the Studio 54 of
be invited it’s like the Studio 54 of social applications I can’t get them so
social applications I can’t get them so
social applications I can’t get them so credit and then Google everything is
credit and then Google everything is
credit and then Google everything is like Google right google it you can
like Google right google it you can
like Google right google it you can actually satellite get photographs of
actually satellite get photographs of
actually satellite get photographs of brain with photos and bring ulis
brain with photos and bring ulis
brain with photos and bring ulis actually Google myself and there was
actually Google myself and there was
actually Google myself and there was change smoking making what do you find
change smoking making what do you find
change smoking making what do you find inspires your sets most I’d probably say
inspires your sets most I’d probably say
inspires your sets most I’d probably say like true to life stuff I like to take
like true to life stuff I like to take
like true to life stuff I like to take really true things that have happened
really true things that have happened
really true things that have happened that have been horrible and make it
that have been horrible and make it
that have been horrible and make it funny I love to drink I mean I love to
funny I love to drink I mean I love to
funny I love to drink I mean I love to drink
drink
drink matter of fact my friends have tried so
matter of fact my friends have tried so
matter of fact my friends have tried so many interventions with me I just leave
many interventions with me I just leave
many interventions with me I just leave the plastic folding chairs set up in a
the plastic folding chairs set up in a
the plastic folding chairs set up in a semi-circle my apartment like I tried to
semi-circle my apartment like I tried to
semi-circle my apartment like I tried to get pregnant and that didn’t work so I
get pregnant and that didn’t work so I
get pregnant and that didn’t work so I was able to do a whole bit on
was able to do a whole bit on
was able to do a whole bit on infertility when my husband passed away
infertility when my husband passed away
infertility when my husband passed away I said he left me no one knows and I was
I said he left me no one knows and I was
I said he left me no one knows and I was able to do a bit on like drinking
able to do a bit on like drinking
able to do a bit on like drinking alcoholism drug addiction chain-smoking
alcoholism drug addiction chain-smoking
alcoholism drug addiction chain-smoking losing your mind in such a way that no
losing your mind in such a way that no
losing your mind in such a way that no one knew what did what had happened and
one knew what did what had happened and
one knew what did what had happened and with my parents doing drugs my whole
with my parents doing drugs my whole
with my parents doing drugs my whole life and I was like the straight
life and I was like the straight
life and I was like the straight daughter I was able to take their crazy
daughter I was able to take their crazy
daughter I was able to take their crazy life and turn it around and make it
life and turn it around and make it
life and turn it around and make it really funny but I try and take
really funny but I try and take
really funny but I try and take everything that’s truthful and find the
everything that’s truthful and find the
everything that’s truthful and find the humor in it Jesus turned the water into
humor in it Jesus turned the water into
humor in it Jesus turned the water into wine he didn’t turn the lines word I
wine he didn’t turn the lines word I
wine he didn’t turn the lines word I think I’ve been crucified a lot earlier
think I’ve been crucified a lot earlier
think I’ve been crucified a lot earlier and there already
and there already
and there already I’m friend you like you’re not Jesus
I’m friend you like you’re not Jesus
I’m friend you like you’re not Jesus like I can’t race like them maybe I’ll
like I can’t race like them maybe I’ll
like I can’t race like them maybe I’ll get a vision
get a vision
get a vision maybe I’ll go Vanessa my child I want
maybe I’ll go Vanessa my child I want
maybe I’ll go Vanessa my child I want you to walk amongst the lepers I’ll be
you to walk amongst the lepers I’ll be
you to walk amongst the lepers I’ll be like oh Jesus how I want to move to
like oh Jesus how I want to move to
like oh Jesus how I want to move to Plattsburgh with Jan she’s my future
Plattsburgh with Jan she’s my future
Plattsburgh with Jan she’s my future comedian and we’ve been working together
comedian and we’ve been working together
comedian and we’ve been working together now for the last what four years yeah I
now for the last what four years yeah I
now for the last what four years yeah I want you guys to know I found a husband
want you guys to know I found a husband
want you guys to know I found a husband yeah it’s not mine well thank God he’s
yeah it’s not mine well thank God he’s
yeah it’s not mine well thank God he’s not mine she’s on his wife when I first
not mine she’s on his wife when I first
not mine she’s on his wife when I first started doing comedy a friend of mine
started doing comedy a friend of mine
started doing comedy a friend of mine said I should look for a female in New
said I should look for a female in New
said I should look for a female in New York who I wanted who I wanted to be
York who I wanted who I wanted to be
York who I wanted who I wanted to be like and after seeing tons of comedy I
like and after seeing tons of comedy I
like and after seeing tons of comedy I sought Vanessa honor of roast for
sought Vanessa honor of roast for
sought Vanessa honor of roast for another comedian and years later I told
another comedian and years later I told
another comedian and years later I told him I want Vanessa to be my mentor and
him I want Vanessa to be my mentor and
him I want Vanessa to be my mentor and years later it just happened and I’m
years later it just happened and I’m
years later it just happened and I’m trying to date by trying since Rob isn’t
trying to date by trying since Rob isn’t
trying to date by trying since Rob isn’t it like trying people I don’t know where
it like trying people I don’t know where
it like trying people I don’t know where to go because some places I go hey sexy
to go because some places I go hey sexy
to go because some places I go hey sexy some places I go and I am NOT in Playboy
some places I go and I am NOT in Playboy
some places I go and I am NOT in Playboy convention at best on a 4 or a 5 but at
convention at best on a 4 or a 5 but at
convention at best on a 4 or a 5 but at a Star Trek convention I have a 7 of 9
a Star Trek convention I have a 7 of 9
a Star Trek convention I have a 7 of 9 and we became like so close and I was
and we became like so close and I was
and we became like so close and I was high strong judgmental you gotta do this
high strong judgmental you gotta do this
high strong judgmental you gotta do this you gotta write you gotta like get into
you gotta write you gotta like get into
you gotta write you gotta like get into the art form and I was I can hang no I
the art form and I was I can hang no I
the art form and I was I can hang no I straight mano and she’d be like you know
straight mano and she’d be like you know
straight mano and she’d be like you know just relax loosen up a little bit yeah I
just relax loosen up a little bit yeah I
just relax loosen up a little bit yeah I used to be a big girl I lost about 50
used to be a big girl I lost about 50
used to be a big girl I lost about 50 pounds on me Watchers
baby is a big girl because when I was a
baby is a big girl because when I was a big girl I had secret admirers men would
big girl I had secret admirers men would
big girl I had secret admirers men would have sex with me and say let’s keep this
have sex with me and say let’s keep this
have sex with me and say let’s keep this a secret
a secret
a secret well thank you very much ladies is
well thank you very much ladies is
well thank you very much ladies is really great having you thank you it’s
really great having you thank you it’s
really great having you thank you it’s great it’s great being a mother yeah
”
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