my name is Stefan Hermann and I come to you today to speak about youth because
you today to speak about youth because
you today to speak about youth because that is a passion that I have developed
that is a passion that I have developed
that is a passion that I have developed over the last years so just as of recent
over the last years so just as of recent
over the last years so just as of recent scientists are alerting us that by the
scientists are alerting us that by the
scientists are alerting us that by the year 2050
year 2050
year 2050 5-0 seventy percent of people employed
5-0 seventy percent of people employed
5-0 seventy percent of people employed they will do jobs that are not even
they will do jobs that are not even
they will do jobs that are not even invented yet
invented yet
invented yet it is hard to believe hard to believe
it is hard to believe hard to believe
it is hard to believe hard to believe 70 percent of the jobs that people will
70 percent of the jobs that people will
70 percent of the jobs that people will do so what does that mean for our youth
do so what does that mean for our youth
do so what does that mean for our youth how do we prepare them for this kind of
how do we prepare them for this kind of
how do we prepare them for this kind of unknown territory one thing is for sure
unknown territory one thing is for sure
unknown territory one thing is for sure it’s not what we have been training them
it’s not what we have been training them
it’s not what we have been training them to do something has to change
to do something has to change
to do something has to change because the holy grail of Education
because the holy grail of Education
because the holy grail of Education knowledge and information is so readily
knowledge and information is so readily
knowledge and information is so readily available in the palms of our hands
available in the palms of our hands
available in the palms of our hands these days it takes me literally about
these days it takes me literally about
these days it takes me literally about two minutes to find out anything a child
two minutes to find out anything a child
two minutes to find out anything a child today takes one minute me takes two so
today takes one minute me takes two so
today takes one minute me takes two so today I come to you with a bold proposal
my proposal is that you the person in
my proposal is that you the person in your chair can play a role in preparing
your chair can play a role in preparing
your chair can play a role in preparing the next generations for what’s coming
the next generations for what’s coming
the next generations for what’s coming and I call that the new way of mentoring
and I call that the new way of mentoring
and I call that the new way of mentoring so you the person in your chair I’m
so you the person in your chair I’m
so you the person in your chair I’m proposing you become a mentor stay in
proposing you become a mentor stay in
proposing you become a mentor stay in your seats it scared me when I heard
your seats it scared me when I heard
your seats it scared me when I heard this the first time I’m going to propose
this the first time I’m going to propose
this the first time I’m going to propose to you that there’s a new way of
to you that there’s a new way of
to you that there’s a new way of mentoring there’s a new way of building
mentoring there’s a new way of building
mentoring there’s a new way of building unity where we can actually support the
unity where we can actually support the
unity where we can actually support the children that are coming up the next
children that are coming up the next
children that are coming up the next generations and while we do that we
generations and while we do that we
generations and while we do that we benefit personally from that I have
benefit personally from that I have
benefit personally from that I have personally benefited tremendously so let
personally benefited tremendously so let
personally benefited tremendously so let me ask you this question when was the
me ask you this question when was the
me ask you this question when was the last time that you saw a group of
last time that you saw a group of
last time that you saw a group of teenagers and a group of adults do
teenagers and a group of adults do
teenagers and a group of adults do something meaningful together oh and
something meaningful together oh and
something meaningful together oh and there was no ball involved now we kind
there was no ball involved now we kind
there was no ball involved now we kind of laugh about that but there’s
of laugh about that but there’s
of laugh about that but there’s something really really deeply wrong
something really really deeply wrong
something really really deeply wrong about that if you haven’t been in a
about that if you haven’t been in a
about that if you haven’t been in a group of dots doing something with
group of dots doing something with
group of dots doing something with teenagers there’s something wrong and
teenagers there’s something wrong and
teenagers there’s something wrong and this is one of the results last Monday
this is one of the results last Monday
this is one of the results last Monday The Times of India dedicated the
The Times of India dedicated the
The Times of India dedicated the front-page story to the news that in
front-page story to the news that in
front-page story to the news that in 2017 which is literally last year just a
2017 which is literally last year just a
2017 which is literally last year just a few months ago about 10,000 just less of
few months ago about 10,000 just less of
few months ago about 10,000 just less of 10,000 students young people took their
10,000 students young people took their
10,000 students young people took their own life there’s something majorly wrong
own life there’s something majorly wrong
own life there’s something majorly wrong with that that means that every day a
with that that means that every day a
with that that means that every day a child takes their life every day of
child takes their life every day of
child takes their life every day of every week every week of every month
every week every week of every month
every week every week of every month every month of every year that’s not
every month of every year that’s not
every month of every year that’s not okay with me
okay with me
okay with me it’s not okay with me something needs to
it’s not okay with me something needs to
it’s not okay with me something needs to change
there’s an empty chair somewhere in a
there’s an empty chair somewhere in a classroom right now there’s an empty bed
classroom right now there’s an empty bed
classroom right now there’s an empty bed in a family’s house I want you to put a
in a family’s house I want you to put a
in a family’s house I want you to put a face with it right now because this is
face with it right now because this is
face with it right now because this is just numbers it’s not okay so not okay
just numbers it’s not okay so not okay
just numbers it’s not okay so not okay that children take their lives out of
that children take their lives out of
that children take their lives out of despair out of a system that we created
despair out of a system that we created
despair out of a system that we created for them where they see no other way
for them where they see no other way
for them where they see no other way than ending their lives and there’s
than ending their lives and there’s
than ending their lives and there’s something we can do about that that’s
something we can do about that that’s
something we can do about that that’s why I’m here today
why I’m here today
why I’m here today that’s why I’m talking to you so here is
that’s why I’m talking to you so here is
that’s why I’m talking to you so here is a vision that I’d like to present a
a vision that I’d like to present a
a vision that I’d like to present a vision that has something to do with the
vision that has something to do with the
vision that has something to do with the solution the solution is in mentoring
solution the solution is in mentoring
solution the solution is in mentoring I’ve done it for the last decade over a
I’ve done it for the last decade over a
I’ve done it for the last decade over a decade I’ve seen kids really blossom
decade I’ve seen kids really blossom
decade I’ve seen kids really blossom when adults give them the attention and
when adults give them the attention and
when adults give them the attention and they do it in particular way that’s what
they do it in particular way that’s what
they do it in particular way that’s what I’m saying please stay in your seats
I’m saying please stay in your seats
I’m saying please stay in your seats you’ll be able to do this if you want to
you’ll be able to do this if you want to
you’ll be able to do this if you want to here’s a vision where we can use India’s
here’s a vision where we can use India’s
here’s a vision where we can use India’s strength the very matrix of what makes
strength the very matrix of what makes
strength the very matrix of what makes India so special and for the last 12
India so special and for the last 12
India so special and for the last 12 years has me come back to India at least
years has me come back to India at least
years has me come back to India at least once a year I love this country there’s
once a year I love this country there’s
once a year I love this country there’s something really special about this
something really special about this
something really special about this country that I don’t find anywhere I
country that I don’t find anywhere I
country that I don’t find anywhere I travel a lot I was a pro tennis player
travel a lot I was a pro tennis player
travel a lot I was a pro tennis player way back there is something special
way back there is something special
way back there is something special about India India has the potential to
about India India has the potential to
about India India has the potential to lead the world literally lead the world
lead the world literally lead the world
lead the world literally lead the world because there’s something in the very
because there’s something in the very
because there’s something in the very fabric of this country that is
fabric of this country that is
fabric of this country that is emotionally strong if I look at your at
emotionally strong if I look at your at
emotionally strong if I look at your at your music if I look at your dance if I
your music if I look at your dance if I
your music if I look at your dance if I look at your spiritual practices your
look at your spiritual practices your
look at your spiritual practices your rituals if I look at the traditions in
rituals if I look at the traditions in
rituals if I look at the traditions in India if I look at your architecture I
India if I look at your architecture I
India if I look at your architecture I see it everywhere there’s potential for
see it everywhere there’s potential for
see it everywhere there’s potential for emotional intelligence maturity that
emotional intelligence maturity that
emotional intelligence maturity that India can really lead the way and I’ve
India can really lead the way and I’ve
India can really lead the way and I’ve dedicated the lot in the next four years
dedicated the lot in the next four years
dedicated the lot in the next four years to being here in India to make that
to being here in India to make that
to being here in India to make that possible I relocated literally live in
possible I relocated literally live in
possible I relocated literally live in Pune now and it’s an honor to be here
Pune now and it’s an honor to be here
Pune now and it’s an honor to be here and
and
and gives back to the country that I’ve
gives back to the country that I’ve
gives back to the country that I’ve taken from in so many ways on a
taken from in so many ways on a
taken from in so many ways on a spiritual level so it’s really my honor
spiritual level so it’s really my honor
spiritual level so it’s really my honor to be here and hopefully you’ll join me
to be here and hopefully you’ll join me
to be here and hopefully you’ll join me to become a mentor soon with us in Pune
to become a mentor soon with us in Pune
to become a mentor soon with us in Pune or anywhere else in the world for that
or anywhere else in the world for that
or anywhere else in the world for that matter let me tell you a little bit
matter let me tell you a little bit
matter let me tell you a little bit about my own history so when I was just
about my own history so when I was just
about my own history so when I was just coming into puberty and I was a handsome
coming into puberty and I was a handsome
coming into puberty and I was a handsome young boy as he might see my brother
young boy as he might see my brother
young boy as he might see my brother molested me
molested me
molested me my brother sexually abused and he was
my brother sexually abused and he was
my brother sexually abused and he was stronger he was older and the result of
stronger he was older and the result of
stronger he was older and the result of that was about 25 almost 30 years of
that was about 25 almost 30 years of
that was about 25 almost 30 years of deep in our confusion and shame I was
deep in our confusion and shame I was
deep in our confusion and shame I was very very impacted by that I couldn’t
very very impacted by that I couldn’t
very very impacted by that I couldn’t make sense of what happened I just knew
make sense of what happened I just knew
make sense of what happened I just knew there was something wrong about it it
there was something wrong about it it
there was something wrong about it it just didn’t feel right for the longest
just didn’t feel right for the longest
just didn’t feel right for the longest time and then I’d build a lot of shame
time and then I’d build a lot of shame
time and then I’d build a lot of shame that kept me from being honest about it
that kept me from being honest about it
that kept me from being honest about it and talking with somebody about it and
and talking with somebody about it and
and talking with somebody about it and that’s where this mentoring comes in
that’s where this mentoring comes in
that’s where this mentoring comes in because we mentor in groups and the
because we mentor in groups and the
because we mentor in groups and the confidentiality and the safety does
confidentiality and the safety does
confidentiality and the safety does built in the group we’re adults it with
built in the group we’re adults it with
built in the group we’re adults it with eighth graders and with sixth graders if
eighth graders and with sixth graders if
eighth graders and with sixth graders if I had had such a group if I had had an
I had had such a group if I had had an
I had had such a group if I had had an opportunity to say to take my pain my
opportunity to say to take my pain my
opportunity to say to take my pain my confusion my shame to a place where
confusion my shame to a place where
confusion my shame to a place where people who were ready and willing to
people who were ready and willing to
people who were ready and willing to hold that for me and with me
hold that for me and with me
hold that for me and with me something could have changed for me and
something could have changed for me and
something could have changed for me and I wouldn’t have gone through about 25 to
I wouldn’t have gone through about 25 to
I wouldn’t have gone through about 25 to 30 years of suffering violence and
30 years of suffering violence and
30 years of suffering violence and bullying you know I just talked about
bullying you know I just talked about
bullying you know I just talked about suicide almost 10,000 kids last year
suicide almost 10,000 kids last year
suicide almost 10,000 kids last year killed themselves at their own hand and
killed themselves at their own hand and
killed themselves at their own hand and there’s a lot of other dis
there’s a lot of other dis
there’s a lot of other dis functionality’s going on that kids are
functionality’s going on that kids are
functionality’s going on that kids are getting into these days because when we
getting into these days because when we
getting into these days because when we don’t take care of our kids when we
don’t take care of our kids when we
don’t take care of our kids when we don’t really get them into a connection
don’t really get them into a connection
don’t really get them into a connection with the adults with us there we’re
with the adults with us there we’re
with the adults with us there we’re competing there they are they are
competing there they are they are
competing there they are they are competed
competed
competed by others one is for example gang
by others one is for example gang
by others one is for example gang violence gangs are out to get our get
violence gangs are out to get our get
violence gangs are out to get our get our kids and they go into all kinds of
our kids and they go into all kinds of
our kids and they go into all kinds of criminal behaviors when you look at all
criminal behaviors when you look at all
criminal behaviors when you look at all of the statics I’m showing you here
of the statics I’m showing you here
of the statics I’m showing you here you’re gonna see that about 20 percent
you’re gonna see that about 20 percent
you’re gonna see that about 20 percent minimum of youth in India right now are
minimum of youth in India right now are
minimum of youth in India right now are in some form of trouble I don’t want to
in some form of trouble I don’t want to
in some form of trouble I don’t want to spend too much time on on every detail
spend too much time on on every detail
spend too much time on on every detail here but you see even at the level of
here but you see even at the level of
here but you see even at the level of stress ninety point six percent of
stress ninety point six percent of
stress ninety point six percent of students in India report stress over
students in India report stress over
students in India report stress over academic pressures that they have it’s
academic pressures that they have it’s
academic pressures that they have it’s not okay we’ve got to change that it’s
not okay we’ve got to change that it’s
not okay we’ve got to change that it’s not there’s nothing wrong with the kids
not there’s nothing wrong with the kids
not there’s nothing wrong with the kids there’s something wrong with the system
there’s something wrong with the system
there’s something wrong with the system that we created it’s for us to change
that we created it’s for us to change
that we created it’s for us to change that it’s for us to be there in the
that it’s for us to be there in the
that it’s for us to be there in the transition because it takes time to
transition because it takes time to
transition because it takes time to change these things assess adults need
change these things assess adults need
change these things assess adults need to step up for our youth substance abuse
to step up for our youth substance abuse
to step up for our youth substance abuse alcohol if you read the list anorexia
alcohol if you read the list anorexia
alcohol if you read the list anorexia cyber violence obesity raid there’s all
cyber violence obesity raid there’s all
cyber violence obesity raid there’s all these issues and generally speaking
these issues and generally speaking
these issues and generally speaking there’s about one out of five children
there’s about one out of five children
there’s about one out of five children in India is involved in some kind of
in India is involved in some kind of
in India is involved in some kind of dysfunctional behavior it’s not their
dysfunctional behavior it’s not their
dysfunctional behavior it’s not their fault they are just looking for a sense
fault they are just looking for a sense
fault they are just looking for a sense of belonging for a sense of dealing for
of belonging for a sense of dealing for
of belonging for a sense of dealing for a sense of avoiding isolation and that’s
a sense of avoiding isolation and that’s
a sense of avoiding isolation and that’s where they typically go depression is
where they typically go depression is
where they typically go depression is rampant amongst young people in India we
rampant amongst young people in India we
rampant amongst young people in India we can change that and we can change it by
can change that and we can change it by
can change that and we can change it by applying a way of mentoring that is
applying a way of mentoring that is
applying a way of mentoring that is different than what you might hear when
different than what you might hear when
different than what you might hear when you first think of mentoring you think
you first think of mentoring you think
you first think of mentoring you think like oh it must be that like kind of a
like oh it must be that like kind of a
like oh it must be that like kind of a thing where I have to show some life
thing where I have to show some life
thing where I have to show some life experience I have to be hurt I have to
experience I have to be hurt I have to
experience I have to be hurt I have to have had some success in my life I have
have had some success in my life I have
have had some success in my life I have to be somebody I have to be able to give
to be somebody I have to be able to give
to be somebody I have to be able to give something to the children that’s not
something to the children that’s not
something to the children that’s not true there’s a whole new way of
true there’s a whole new way of
true there’s a whole new way of mentoring there’s a revolution of
mentoring there’s a revolution of
mentoring there’s a revolution of mentoring going on right now that I’m
mentoring going on right now that I’m
mentoring going on right now that I’m supporting that I’m willing to bring
supporting that I’m willing to bring
supporting that I’m willing to bring here to India which which has more of an
here to India which which has more of an
here to India which which has more of an approach of being eye-to-eye with each
approach of being eye-to-eye with each
approach of being eye-to-eye with each with each other whereas not there’s not
with each other whereas not there’s not
with each other whereas not there’s not a superiority in a and a lower level but
a superiority in a and a lower level but
a superiority in a and a lower level but we’re actually really relating to each
we’re actually really relating to each
we’re actually really relating to each other everything that we do has a notion
other everything that we do has a notion
other everything that we do has a notion of exploration inquiry it’s really
of exploration inquiry it’s really
of exploration inquiry it’s really mentee focus
mentee focus
mentee focus it’s not to make myself look good that I
it’s not to make myself look good that I
it’s not to make myself look good that I mentor somebody I mentor somebody to
mentor somebody I mentor somebody to
mentor somebody I mentor somebody to really be in service and to build a
really be in service and to build a
really be in service and to build a community where kids are taken care of
community where kids are taken care of
community where kids are taken care of mutual learning very very important
mutual learning very very important
mutual learning very very important based on curiosity how wonderful is it
based on curiosity how wonderful is it
based on curiosity how wonderful is it to be curious we heard some of the
to be curious we heard some of the
to be curious we heard some of the examples of the former speakers here
examples of the former speakers here
examples of the former speakers here they apply a lot of creativity and
they apply a lot of creativity and
they apply a lot of creativity and curiosity to the world that works for
curiosity to the world that works for
curiosity to the world that works for kids there we go so what we do in this
kids there we go so what we do in this
kids there we go so what we do in this revolution there’s doodoos and don’t use
revolution there’s doodoos and don’t use
revolution there’s doodoos and don’t use the Doo doos are we listen we accept
the Doo doos are we listen we accept
the Doo doos are we listen we accept them for who they are we model behaviors
them for who they are we model behaviors
them for who they are we model behaviors and when we actually screw up from time
and when we actually screw up from time
and when we actually screw up from time to time anybody ever screw up in this
to time anybody ever screw up in this
to time anybody ever screw up in this room anybody who has a once in a while
room anybody who has a once in a while
room anybody who has a once in a while or slip or something you know yeah when
or slip or something you know yeah when
or slip or something you know yeah when we screw up it’s not about being perfect
we screw up it’s not about being perfect
we screw up it’s not about being perfect as adults it is to learn to model how to
as adults it is to learn to model how to
as adults it is to learn to model how to clean up after oneself when I screw up
clean up after oneself when I screw up
clean up after oneself when I screw up because screwing up is human yeah and
because screwing up is human yeah and
because screwing up is human yeah and then to bless them which sounds a little
then to bless them which sounds a little
then to bless them which sounds a little bit religious we’re lacking a word there
bit religious we’re lacking a word there
bit religious we’re lacking a word there I don’t mean it in any way religious it
I don’t mean it in any way religious it
I don’t mean it in any way religious it has something to do with giving an
has something to do with giving an
has something to do with giving an affirmation it was actually expressing
affirmation it was actually expressing
affirmation it was actually expressing what I actually think in my head about
what I actually think in my head about
what I actually think in my head about somebody else to bless somebody tell
somebody else to bless somebody tell
somebody else to bless somebody tell them that I like them tell them that are
them that I like them tell them that are
them that I like them tell them that are aspects of their character that I
aspects of their character that I
aspects of their character that I appreciate those kind of things just
appreciate those kind of things just
appreciate those kind of things just speak it out loud rather than keeping it
speak it out loud rather than keeping it
speak it out loud rather than keeping it in those are the things that we do do
in those are the things that we do do
in those are the things that we do do can you do those things you don’t even
can you do those things you don’t even
can you do those things you don’t even need a lot of training to do that to
need a lot of training to do that to
need a lot of training to do that to listen closer you don’t need to know you
listen closer you don’t need to know you
listen closer you don’t need to know you don’t need to know anything you just
don’t need to know anything you just
don’t need to know anything you just need to focus on listening and that’s
need to focus on listening and that’s
need to focus on listening and that’s what the kids need because they want to
what the kids need because they want to
what the kids need because they want to speak that’s where we have a great match
speak that’s where we have a great match
speak that’s where we have a great match they come as teenagers going through
they come as teenagers going through
they come as teenagers going through this incredibly tumultuous time all of
this incredibly tumultuous time all of
this incredibly tumultuous time all of these body changes expectations stress
these body changes expectations stress
these body changes expectations stress all the stuff going all they want to do
all the stuff going all they want to do
all the stuff going all they want to do is unload they want to talk they want to
is unload they want to talk they want to
is unload they want to talk they want to express themselves they want to talk
express themselves they want to talk
express themselves they want to talk about what’s going on for them and all
about what’s going on for them and all
about what’s going on for them and all we have to do is just be there on the
we have to do is just be there on the
we have to do is just be there on the whole space for them can we do that I
whole space for them can we do that I
whole space for them can we do that I think we can I see it all the time with
think we can I see it all the time with
think we can I see it all the time with the mentors that we trained in Poona now
the mentors that we trained in Poona now
the mentors that we trained in Poona now I’ll give you a few examples in a moment
I’ll give you a few examples in a moment
I’ll give you a few examples in a moment so what we don’t do is we don’t come
so what we don’t do is we don’t come
so what we don’t do is we don’t come from an approach that says they need
from an approach that says they need
from an approach that says they need fixing
fixing
fixing as soon as we think there’s something
as soon as we think there’s something
as soon as we think there’s something wrong with them even though sometimes
wrong with them even though sometimes
wrong with them even though sometimes they screw up we already clarified that
they screw up we already clarified that
they screw up we already clarified that we screw up too from time to time right
we screw up too from time to time right
we screw up too from time to time right so there’s nothing wrong about you
so there’s nothing wrong about you
so there’s nothing wrong about you screwing up but there’s also nothing
screwing up but there’s also nothing
screwing up but there’s also nothing wrong about them screwing up t9 just
wrong about them screwing up t9 just
wrong about them screwing up t9 just need to push the envelope they need to
need to push the envelope they need to
need to push the envelope they need to kind of find out where they stand and
kind of find out where they stand and
kind of find out where they stand and who they are that’s the time for them to
who they are that’s the time for them to
who they are that’s the time for them to find their identity right so it’s
find their identity right so it’s
find their identity right so it’s important for them to have a space where
important for them to have a space where
important for them to have a space where they’re being accepted where they nobody
they’re being accepted where they nobody
they’re being accepted where they nobody relates to them as they need to be fixed
relates to them as they need to be fixed
relates to them as they need to be fixed something’s broken about them there’s
something’s broken about them there’s
something’s broken about them there’s nothing broken about teenagers we don’t
nothing broken about teenagers we don’t
nothing broken about teenagers we don’t rescue them we let them do their work we
rescue them we let them do their work we
rescue them we let them do their work we let them deal with their own challenges
let them deal with their own challenges
let them deal with their own challenges we’re not telling them it’s okay it’s
we’re not telling them it’s okay it’s
we’re not telling them it’s okay it’s gonna be okay
gonna be okay
gonna be okay you know a pat on the back you know the
you know a pat on the back you know the
you know a pat on the back you know the stuff that auntie typically says you
stuff that auntie typically says you
stuff that auntie typically says you know yeah the advice giving and we’re
know yeah the advice giving and we’re
know yeah the advice giving and we’re not doing that we’re not giving advice
not doing that we’re not giving advice
not doing that we’re not giving advice we’re not rescuing them from them
we’re not rescuing them from them
we’re not rescuing them from them actually solving their own problems
actually solving their own problems
actually solving their own problems we’re just holding space for them and we
we’re just holding space for them and we
we’re just holding space for them and we don’t project our own stories on them
don’t project our own stories on them
don’t project our own stories on them whenever they share something about
whenever they share something about
whenever they share something about what’s going on in the left our response
what’s going on in the left our response
what’s going on in the left our response is not instantly to tell our own story
is not instantly to tell our own story
is not instantly to tell our own story and trust me I’m seeing myself do that
and trust me I’m seeing myself do that
and trust me I’m seeing myself do that all the time because there’s still a lot
all the time because there’s still a lot
all the time because there’s still a lot of things that I don’t feel anybody’s
of things that I don’t feel anybody’s
of things that I don’t feel anybody’s listened to me for so I need to tell
listened to me for so I need to tell
listened to me for so I need to tell that I’m dying to tell my story and so
that I’m dying to tell my story and so
that I’m dying to tell my story and so the child has no more space right
the child has no more space right
the child has no more space right because now I’m I’m basically flushing
because now I’m I’m basically flushing
because now I’m I’m basically flushing everything other space with my own stuff
everything other space with my own stuff
everything other space with my own stuff yeah so we need to learn to unload we
yeah so we need to learn to unload we
yeah so we need to learn to unload we need to learn to complete our own
need to learn to complete our own
need to learn to complete our own stories we heard that before today and
stories we heard that before today and
stories we heard that before today and then have space for the children in our
then have space for the children in our
then have space for the children in our lives so this all leads to emotional
lives so this all leads to emotional
lives so this all leads to emotional intelligence it leads to a level of
intelligence it leads to a level of
intelligence it leads to a level of maturity that I think will Oliver will
maturity that I think will Oliver will
maturity that I think will Oliver will help all of us all of us going into
help all of us all of us going into
help all of us all of us going into community really connecting with each
community really connecting with each
community really connecting with each other and having a way of being
other and having a way of being
other and having a way of being authentic and honest the circles that we
authentic and honest the circles that we
authentic and honest the circles that we conduct in the schools with eighth
conduct in the schools with eighth
conduct in the schools with eighth graders who are trained as peer mentors
graders who are trained as peer mentors
graders who are trained as peer mentors and sixth graders are called
and sixth graders are called
and sixth graders are called truth-telling circles
truth-telling circles
truth-telling circles that’s a place where the kids are able
that’s a place where the kids are able
that’s a place where the kids are able to tell their truth and we had an
to tell their truth and we had an
to tell their truth and we had an example in one of our pilot studies that
example in one of our pilot studies that
example in one of our pilot studies that we do see every I’ve taken this program
we do see every I’ve taken this program
we do see every I’ve taken this program from the US where I lived for the last
from the US where I lived for the last
from the US where I lived for the last 17 years in California and
17 years in California and
17 years in California and Barbara I took it to Europe
Barbara I took it to Europe
Barbara I took it to Europe german-speaking Europe UK South Africa
german-speaking Europe UK South Africa
german-speaking Europe UK South Africa now I’m bringing it to India and every
now I’m bringing it to India and every
now I’m bringing it to India and every time I go anywhere it needs a slight
time I go anywhere it needs a slight
time I go anywhere it needs a slight adjustment because the culture is
adjustment because the culture is
adjustment because the culture is different people are different right
different people are different right
different people are different right so here we’re applying a slightly
so here we’re applying a slightly
so here we’re applying a slightly different different approach and so
different different approach and so
different different approach and so we’re training these eighth graders and
we’re training these eighth graders and
we’re training these eighth graders and sixth graders to to learn to open up and
sixth graders to to learn to open up and
sixth graders to to learn to open up and we have a few adults in the room who are
we have a few adults in the room who are
we have a few adults in the room who are holding space basically yeah and so I
holding space basically yeah and so I
holding space basically yeah and so I want to tell you a story about when I
want to tell you a story about when I
want to tell you a story about when I first started this work in Santa Barbara
first started this work in Santa Barbara
first started this work in Santa Barbara so this mother comes up to me and she
so this mother comes up to me and she
so this mother comes up to me and she says I would really love to enroll my
says I would really love to enroll my
says I would really love to enroll my boy into this program that you have he
boy into this program that you have he
boy into this program that you have he only has two options in his life he’s
only has two options in his life he’s
only has two options in his life he’s either gonna die in the next two years
either gonna die in the next two years
either gonna die in the next two years or he’s going to go to jail and even
or he’s going to go to jail and even
or he’s going to go to jail and even when he goes to jail in the next two
when he goes to jail in the next two
when he goes to jail in the next two years in an American prison he’s going
years in an American prison he’s going
years in an American prison he’s going to die as a Latino boy no chance not
to die as a Latino boy no chance not
to die as a Latino boy no chance not good options today this boy and I’m
good options today this boy and I’m
good options today this boy and I’m still in touch with him many years later
still in touch with him many years later
still in touch with him many years later he’s a nurse and here’s one of the
he’s a nurse and here’s one of the
he’s a nurse and here’s one of the things that happened he came to one of
things that happened he came to one of
things that happened he came to one of our circles truth-telling sir because he
our circles truth-telling sir because he
our circles truth-telling sir because he checked in saying today I walked across
checked in saying today I walked across
checked in saying today I walked across the schoolyard and I had the knife
the schoolyard and I had the knife
the schoolyard and I had the knife already open in my pocket you know one
already open in my pocket you know one
already open in my pocket you know one of those that you fold right he said the
of those that you fold right he said the
of those that you fold right he said the knife was already open because that boy
knife was already open because that boy
knife was already open because that boy disrespected me he needed to learn a
disrespected me he needed to learn a
disrespected me he needed to learn a lesson
lesson
lesson I was about to teach him a lesson as I
I was about to teach him a lesson as I
I was about to teach him a lesson as I walk over I realized as I walked that my
walk over I realized as I walked that my
walk over I realized as I walked that my rage my anger had the best of me and
rage my anger had the best of me and
rage my anger had the best of me and that I needed to somehow balance that
that I needed to somehow balance that
that I needed to somehow balance that out and so by the time I reached him we
out and so by the time I reached him we
out and so by the time I reached him we actually started talking and now we’ve
actually started talking and now we’ve
actually started talking and now we’ve become friends not only one life saved
become friends not only one life saved
become friends not only one life saved two life saved because he would have
two life saved because he would have
two life saved because he would have gone to jail for that right and in Santa
gone to jail for that right and in Santa
gone to jail for that right and in Santa Barbara that time turned out he was a
Barbara that time turned out he was a
Barbara that time turned out he was a gang leader of the West Side gang at
gang leader of the West Side gang at
gang leader of the West Side gang at that time we had about five to eight
that time we had about five to eight
that time we had about five to eight fatal death due to gang violence in
fatal death due to gang violence in
fatal death due to gang violence in Santa Barbara in California out of about
Santa Barbara in California out of about
Santa Barbara in California out of about a hundred thousand people in town
a hundred thousand people in town
a hundred thousand people in town so this was a huge win for all of us so
so this was a huge win for all of us so
so this was a huge win for all of us so my pledge to you is that please join us
my pledge to you is that please join us
my pledge to you is that please join us please be available for the children in
please be available for the children in
please be available for the children in the world this is the way that we can
the world this is the way that we can
the world this is the way that we can change it not knowing what the next
change it not knowing what the next
change it not knowing what the next steps might be and how to prepare them
steps might be and how to prepare them
steps might be and how to prepare them but one thing is for sure if we can
but one thing is for sure if we can
but one thing is for sure if we can build community where we all get
build community where we all get
build community where we all get together we build neighborhoods that are
together we build neighborhoods that are
together we build neighborhoods that are reconnected we have a way of dealing
reconnected we have a way of dealing
reconnected we have a way of dealing with the future in a different way than
with the future in a different way than
with the future in a different way than we’re doing right now seeing all of
we’re doing right now seeing all of
we’re doing right now seeing all of these deaths and all of this
these deaths and all of this
these deaths and all of this dysfunctionality
dysfunctionality
dysfunctionality namaste thank you very much
namaste thank you very much
namaste thank you very much [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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