[Music] [Applause]
why do I have to be so strong why can’t
why do I have to be so strong why can’t I just say that something is wrong I’ve
I just say that something is wrong I’ve
I just say that something is wrong I’ve been waiting but my patience is fading I
been waiting but my patience is fading I
been waiting but my patience is fading I need to put down this heavy guard my
need to put down this heavy guard my
need to put down this heavy guard my life has been rough it’s left me scarred
life has been rough it’s left me scarred
life has been rough it’s left me scarred I’ve been running I went as far as my
I’ve been running I went as far as my
I’ve been running I went as far as my feet could take me now the ice is
feet could take me now the ice is
feet could take me now the ice is breaking I’m afraid I can’t hold on I
breaking I’m afraid I can’t hold on I
breaking I’m afraid I can’t hold on I need you to be my strength I don’t want
need you to be my strength I don’t want
need you to be my strength I don’t want to be let down maybe that’s what I’m
to be let down maybe that’s what I’m
to be let down maybe that’s what I’m afraid to let you in you see I’ve
afraid to let you in you see I’ve
afraid to let you in you see I’ve convinced the world that I’m above
convinced the world that I’m above
convinced the world that I’m above crying but I haven’t convinced death
crying but I haven’t convinced death
crying but I haven’t convinced death that I’m above dying yes there’s a smile
that I’m above dying yes there’s a smile
that I’m above dying yes there’s a smile on my face but you know everything you
on my face but you know everything you
on my face but you know everything you know my insides are crying I can’t do
know my insides are crying I can’t do
know my insides are crying I can’t do this myself I’m so sick and tired of
this myself I’m so sick and tired of
this myself I’m so sick and tired of trying well hiya do I have to be so
trying well hiya do I have to be so
trying well hiya do I have to be so strong everywhere I go I see his face
strong everywhere I go I see his face
strong everywhere I go I see his face and I know that I’ve got to move on but
and I know that I’ve got to move on but
and I know that I’ve got to move on but the sins of my past I’ve got me in its
the sins of my past I’ve got me in its
the sins of my past I’ve got me in its grass my vision is shattered I’m
grass my vision is shattered I’m
grass my vision is shattered I’m stepping on glass I can’t see through
stepping on glass I can’t see through
stepping on glass I can’t see through this fog I want to be there for you but
this fog I want to be there for you but
this fog I want to be there for you but I want to cry too so it’s what I’m
I want to cry too so it’s what I’m
I want to cry too so it’s what I’m feeling really that wrong sometimes I
feeling really that wrong sometimes I
feeling really that wrong sometimes I want to be weak and yet I always have to
want to be weak and yet I always have to
want to be weak and yet I always have to be strong sometimes I want to be
be strong sometimes I want to be
be strong sometimes I want to be softened yet I always have to be hard
softened yet I always have to be hard
softened yet I always have to be hard sometimes I want to be held and yet I
sometimes I want to be held and yet I
sometimes I want to be held and yet I always have to stand I want to be a
always have to stand I want to be a
always have to stand I want to be a woman and not feel like I have to be a
woman and not feel like I have to be a
woman and not feel like I have to be a woman and a man because I can’t why do I
woman and a man because I can’t why do I
woman and a man because I can’t why do I have to be so strong I told him I put my
have to be so strong I told him I put my
have to be so strong I told him I put my hopes on the shelf and I gave him up
hopes on the shelf and I gave him up
hopes on the shelf and I gave him up myself what more must I do to prove that
myself what more must I do to prove that
myself what more must I do to prove that I love you I’ve given him my best and
I love you I’ve given him my best and
I love you I’ve given him my best and now I’m standing here broken trying to
now I’m standing here broken trying to
now I’m standing here broken trying to give you what’s left and I feel like
give you what’s left and I feel like
give you what’s left and I feel like everything is going wrong I thought I
everything is going wrong I thought I
everything is going wrong I thought I was someone put together have my booty
was someone put together have my booty
was someone put together have my booty shorts in the summer in the winter and
shorts in the summer in the winter and
shorts in the summer in the winter and low-cut sweaters in the spring my back
low-cut sweaters in the spring my back
low-cut sweaters in the spring my back sound in the fall not much more because
sound in the fall not much more because
sound in the fall not much more because if I caught a giraffe I always have my
if I caught a giraffe I always have my
if I caught a giraffe I always have my boos to keep me warm this season of my
boos to keep me warm this season of my
boos to keep me warm this season of my life has got me real confused I know
life has got me real confused I know
life has got me real confused I know he’s not treating me right and yet I’m
he’s not treating me right and yet I’m
he’s not treating me right and yet I’m so afraid to say that I’m being abused
so afraid to say that I’m being abused
so afraid to say that I’m being abused I’m walking around with deep cuts and
I’m walking around with deep cuts and
I’m walking around with deep cuts and open wounds the truth be told I’ve got a
open wounds the truth be told I’ve got a
open wounds the truth be told I’ve got a problem with rejection and although I’ve
problem with rejection and although I’ve
problem with rejection and although I’ve learned that we Eastern neighbor a
learned that we Eastern neighbor a
learned that we Eastern neighbor a number comes a brand new lesson I can
number comes a brand new lesson I can
number comes a brand new lesson I can tell you most of my exes ended with a
tell you most of my exes ended with a
tell you most of my exes ended with a head slash heartache and I really
head slash heartache and I really
head slash heartache and I really thought they started off as a blessing
thought they started off as a blessing
thought they started off as a blessing those temps they did fill voids in my
those temps they did fill voids in my
those temps they did fill voids in my life they brought those shiny toys in my
life they brought those shiny toys in my
life they brought those shiny toys in my life sometimes I reminisce about those
life sometimes I reminisce about those
life sometimes I reminisce about those boys in my life and it’s kept me
boys in my life and it’s kept me
boys in my life and it’s kept me distracted that’s why I’m asking why do
distracted that’s why I’m asking why do
distracted that’s why I’m asking why do I have to be so strong I must I carry
I have to be so strong I must I carry
I have to be so strong I must I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
the weight of the world on my shoulders
the weight of the world on my shoulders I’m a mother to my mate a sister to my
I’m a mother to my mate a sister to my
I’m a mother to my mate a sister to my son and equal to my daughter and
son and equal to my daughter and
son and equal to my daughter and everyone keeps telling me my priorities
everyone keeps telling me my priorities
everyone keeps telling me my priorities are out of order at least I’m there it’s
are out of order at least I’m there it’s
are out of order at least I’m there it’s more than what my mother was to me I
more than what my mother was to me I
more than what my mother was to me I should have known that my life would be
should have known that my life would be
should have known that my life would be worth nothing more than a couple of
worth nothing more than a couple of
worth nothing more than a couple of suitcases a bag it’s considering what
suitcases a bag it’s considering what
suitcases a bag it’s considering what hers used to be I am so tired of living
hers used to be I am so tired of living
hers used to be I am so tired of living in this life feeling myself dying to
in this life feeling myself dying to
in this life feeling myself dying to death I live in this life but I feel
death I live in this life but I feel
death I live in this life but I feel myself dying a death over and over and
myself dying a death over and over and
myself dying a death over and over and over again I have cried until it heard
over again I have cried until it heard
over again I have cried until it heard and I’ve been on my knees I’ve lost
and I’ve been on my knees I’ve lost
and I’ve been on my knees I’ve lost everything including my dignity
everything including my dignity
everything including my dignity having the midst of a cry with loud
having the midst of a cry with loud
having the midst of a cry with loud people loud music hard dancing drinks
people loud music hard dancing drinks
people loud music hard dancing drinks passing still felt alone whether his
passing still felt alone whether his
passing still felt alone whether his house my house our house I have yet to
house my house our house I have yet to
house my house our house I have yet to have a home why tell me why I have to be
have a home why tell me why I have to be
have a home why tell me why I have to be so strong why can’t you just take away
so strong why can’t you just take away
so strong why can’t you just take away this hurt this pain in this shame
this hurt this pain in this shame
this hurt this pain in this shame because I feel like I’ll never be good
because I feel like I’ll never be good
because I feel like I’ll never be good enough I need a secret place to go a
enough I need a secret place to go a
enough I need a secret place to go a place where no one can find me where the
place where no one can find me where the
place where no one can find me where the enemies of my past are not constantly
enemies of my past are not constantly
enemies of my past are not constantly lurking behind me I just want to have
lurking behind me I just want to have
lurking behind me I just want to have freedom and joy and life and love and
freedom and joy and life and love and
freedom and joy and life and love and you know I could go on and on but if
you know I could go on and on but if
you know I could go on and on but if you’re Grenaa no the request at least
you’re Grenaa no the request at least
you’re Grenaa no the request at least send someone in my past to say baby girl
send someone in my past to say baby girl
send someone in my past to say baby girl you don’t have to be so strong you know
you don’t have to be so strong you know
you don’t have to be so strong you know I love being a storyteller as a spoken
I love being a storyteller as a spoken
I love being a storyteller as a spoken word artist I get the opportunity to
word artist I get the opportunity to
word artist I get the opportunity to paint pictures with words I get to tell
paint pictures with words I get to tell
paint pictures with words I get to tell my personal stories as well as the
my personal stories as well as the
my personal stories as well as the stories of other people but it’s my
stories of other people but it’s my
stories of other people but it’s my personal stories that give my voice
personal stories that give my voice
personal stories that give my voice incredible value just like I believe
incredible value just like I believe
incredible value just like I believe your stories give your voice incredible
your stories give your voice incredible
your stories give your voice incredible value my stories
value my stories
value my stories give me something to contribute to the
give me something to contribute to the
give me something to contribute to the rest of the world and I believe your
rest of the world and I believe your
rest of the world and I believe your stories give you something to contribute
stories give you something to contribute
stories give you something to contribute to the rest of the world and here’s the
to the rest of the world and here’s the
to the rest of the world and here’s the value of a unique story they’re always
value of a unique story they’re always
value of a unique story they’re always 100% unique and 100% on matched you know
100% unique and 100% on matched you know
100% unique and 100% on matched you know we’re all here
we’re all here
we’re all here having a very similar experience we’re
having a very similar experience we’re
having a very similar experience we’re seeing the same things we’re hearing the
seeing the same things we’re hearing the
seeing the same things we’re hearing the same things we’re smelling the same
same things we’re smelling the same
same things we’re smelling the same things and yet we’re processing this
things and yet we’re processing this
things and yet we’re processing this experience through the lens of our own
experience through the lens of our own
experience through the lens of our own perspective so there’s no way for our
perspective so there’s no way for our
perspective so there’s no way for our stories to be 100% the same in fact I
stories to be 100% the same in fact I
stories to be 100% the same in fact I know if I asked everyone to write down
know if I asked everyone to write down
know if I asked everyone to write down the story of this weekend I know they’d
the story of this weekend I know they’d
the story of this weekend I know they’d all be a little bit different and
all be a little bit different and
all be a little bit different and typically when an idea or an experience
typically when an idea or an experience
typically when an idea or an experience or a product is unique one-of-a-kind
or a product is unique one-of-a-kind
or a product is unique one-of-a-kind it’s inherently valuable and I find it
it’s inherently valuable and I find it
it’s inherently valuable and I find it interesting because in our society we
interesting because in our society we
interesting because in our society we tend to celebrate people who figured out
tend to celebrate people who figured out
tend to celebrate people who figured out the value of their unique voice I love
the value of their unique voice I love
the value of their unique voice I love music musicians have an ability to take
music musicians have an ability to take
music musicians have an ability to take their instruments and tell stories
their instruments and tell stories
their instruments and tell stories stories that are as unique as they are
stories that are as unique as they are
stories that are as unique as they are as people
as people
as people singers and songwriters the most
singers and songwriters the most
singers and songwriters the most influential artists of our generations
influential artists of our generations
influential artists of our generations and generations pass have all figured
and generations pass have all figured
and generations pass have all figured out a way to tell their stories and we
out a way to tell their stories and we
out a way to tell their stories and we love it we love when artists are
love it we love when artists are
love it we love when artists are completely authentic and vulnerable and
completely authentic and vulnerable and
completely authentic and vulnerable and we go on that journey with them every
we go on that journey with them every
we go on that journey with them every time we press play we’ve even created
time we press play we’ve even created
time we press play we’ve even created social media platforms that are
social media platforms that are
social media platforms that are dedicated to the sole purpose of
dedicated to the sole purpose of
dedicated to the sole purpose of allowing individuals like you and I the
allowing individuals like you and I the
allowing individuals like you and I the opportunity to share our unique stories
opportunity to share our unique stories
opportunity to share our unique stories and for some of us were on our phones
and for some of us were on our phones
and for some of us were on our phones all day long clicking and liking stories
all day long clicking and liking stories
all day long clicking and liking stories you walk into any bookstore and what
you walk into any bookstore and what
you walk into any bookstore and what will you find books obviously and
will you find books obviously and
will you find books obviously and authors who are all doing the same exact
authors who are all doing the same exact
authors who are all doing the same exact thing they’re telling stories some of
thing they’re telling stories some of
thing they’re telling stories some of those stories are fiction some of the
those stories are fiction some of the
those stories are fiction some of the stories are nonfiction but here’s what I
stories are nonfiction but here’s what I
stories are nonfiction but here’s what I know every single person young and Oh
know every single person young and Oh
know every single person young and Oh everyone loves a great story and I know
everyone loves a great story and I know
everyone loves a great story and I know I’ve accumulated some 17 million minutes
I’ve accumulated some 17 million minutes
I’ve accumulated some 17 million minutes worth of stories it’s over 200,000 hours
worth of stories it’s over 200,000 hours
worth of stories it’s over 200,000 hours and 12,000 days some people are doing
and 12,000 days some people are doing
and 12,000 days some people are doing the math in their head and of course Ted
the math in their head and of course Ted
the math in their head and of course Ted would never give me that much time to
would never give me that much time to
would never give me that much time to share all of my stories but I have a ton
share all of my stories but I have a ton
share all of my stories but I have a ton of them that I could share and I’m very
of them that I could share and I’m very
of them that I could share and I’m very passionate about sharing my stories
passionate about sharing my stories
passionate about sharing my stories today but the truth is I’ve not always
today but the truth is I’ve not always
today but the truth is I’ve not always been this way you know for the first two
been this way you know for the first two
been this way you know for the first two decades of my life I accumulated some
decades of my life I accumulated some
decades of my life I accumulated some very interesting stories both of my
very interesting stories both of my
very interesting stories both of my parents were addicted to drugs and they
parents were addicted to drugs and they
parents were addicted to drugs and they made some pretty horrible decisions that
made some pretty horrible decisions that
made some pretty horrible decisions that dramatically impacted my life was taken
dramatically impacted my life was taken
dramatically impacted my life was taken away from my parents I was put into
away from my parents I was put into
away from my parents I was put into foster care I’ve been
foster care I’ve been
foster care I’ve been the adoption system I’m a survivor of
the adoption system I’m a survivor of
the adoption system I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse I struggled with
child sexual abuse I struggled with
child sexual abuse I struggled with identity confusion incredible bouts of
identity confusion incredible bouts of
identity confusion incredible bouts of depression
depression
depression I’ve even held the hand of someone I
I’ve even held the hand of someone I
I’ve even held the hand of someone I love and I watched them take their last
love and I watched them take their last
love and I watched them take their last breath before my 20th birthday so yes I
breath before my 20th birthday so yes I
breath before my 20th birthday so yes I had a tremendous amount of stories that
had a tremendous amount of stories that
had a tremendous amount of stories that I could share but sharing those stories
I could share but sharing those stories
I could share but sharing those stories was very difficult for me very very
was very difficult for me very very
was very difficult for me very very difficult so I just didn’t share them at
difficult so I just didn’t share them at
difficult so I just didn’t share them at all I didn’t think my stories had very
all I didn’t think my stories had very
all I didn’t think my stories had very much significance and if you’d asked me
much significance and if you’d asked me
much significance and if you’d asked me at that time I don’t think that I
at that time I don’t think that I
at that time I don’t think that I thought I had much significance a story
thought I had much significance a story
thought I had much significance a story was just a bunch of broken pieces that
was just a bunch of broken pieces that
was just a bunch of broken pieces that didn’t quite fit anywhere and so I kept
didn’t quite fit anywhere and so I kept
didn’t quite fit anywhere and so I kept them to myself and then something
them to myself and then something
them to myself and then something happened I found spoken word and the
happened I found spoken word and the
happened I found spoken word and the truth is spoken word honestly found me
truth is spoken word honestly found me
truth is spoken word honestly found me it gave me an outlet to be able to share
it gave me an outlet to be able to share
it gave me an outlet to be able to share some of the stories I’d held on to for
some of the stories I’d held on to for
some of the stories I’d held on to for so long and I saw a lot of things in my
so long and I saw a lot of things in my
so long and I saw a lot of things in my life begin to change as I begin to share
life begin to change as I begin to share
life begin to change as I begin to share the stories that made up who I was
the stories that made up who I was
the stories that made up who I was number one I begin to change right
number one I begin to change right
number one I begin to change right finally getting an opportunity to let go
finally getting an opportunity to let go
finally getting an opportunity to let go of some of the things I had experienced
of some of the things I had experienced
of some of the things I had experienced was relief for me it gave me the chance
was relief for me it gave me the chance
was relief for me it gave me the chance to be able to be free from things that
to be able to be free from things that
to be able to be free from things that have been holding me down for such a
have been holding me down for such a
have been holding me down for such a long time the other thing that I saw
long time the other thing that I saw
long time the other thing that I saw change was my relationships it was
change was my relationships it was
change was my relationships it was fascinating to me you know typically if
fascinating to me you know typically if
fascinating to me you know typically if you have an experience and someone else
you have an experience and someone else
you have an experience and someone else shares commonality with that experience
shares commonality with that experience
shares commonality with that experience you instantly develop some level of
you instantly develop some level of
you instantly develop some level of connection but what I found is that as I
connection but what I found is that as I
connection but what I found is that as I shared my personal stories I started to
shared my personal stories I started to
shared my personal stories I started to develop relationships with people who
develop relationships with people who
develop relationships with people who were completely different from me and it
were completely different from me and it
were completely different from me and it blew me away
blew me away
blew me away it’s as if my personal stories became a
it’s as if my personal stories became a
it’s as if my personal stories became a bridge that allowed me to develop these
bridge that allowed me to develop these
bridge that allowed me to develop these relationships and this is typically how
relationships and this is typically how
relationships and this is typically how would happen I get invited to share or
would happen I get invited to share or
would happen I get invited to share or even in a personal conversation I begin
even in a personal conversation I begin
even in a personal conversation I begin sharing a part of my story and someone
sharing a part of my story and someone
sharing a part of my story and someone would say you know I really appreciate
would say you know I really appreciate
would say you know I really appreciate you sharing that story and although they
you sharing that story and although they
you sharing that story and although they didn’t share similar experiences they
didn’t share similar experiences they
didn’t share similar experiences they begin to tell their own stories and
begin to tell their own stories and
begin to tell their own stories and before you know it we had this
before you know it we had this
before you know it we had this relationship and I begin to really
relationship and I begin to really
relationship and I begin to really really value those relationships one of
really value those relationships one of
really value those relationships one of those in particular is a friendship I
those in particular is a friendship I
those in particular is a friendship I have with a 12 year old kid named Laura
have with a 12 year old kid named Laura
have with a 12 year old kid named Laura now Laura is an amazing person I met her
now Laura is an amazing person I met her
now Laura is an amazing person I met her three years ago when I worked as a
three years ago when I worked as a
three years ago when I worked as a director for a mentorship program and
director for a mentorship program and
director for a mentorship program and you know if I were honest
you know if I were honest
you know if I were honest I probably wouldn’t have picked Lord to
I probably wouldn’t have picked Lord to
I probably wouldn’t have picked Lord to be my mentee necessarily because we
be my mentee necessarily because we
be my mentee necessarily because we didn’t share a lot in common but she
didn’t share a lot in common but she
didn’t share a lot in common but she came to the mentorship program and she
came to the mentorship program and she
came to the mentorship program and she didn’t have anyone to work with so who
didn’t have anyone to work with so who
didn’t have anyone to work with so who did they ask to work with her the
did they ask to work with her the
did they ask to work with her the director right you fill in where you can
director right you fill in where you can
director right you fill in where you can fill in and so I knew having worked with
fill in and so I knew having worked with
fill in and so I knew having worked with students especially with middle school
students especially with middle school
students especially with middle school and high school students I knew it was
and high school students I knew it was
and high school students I knew it was gonna be important for me to be
gonna be important for me to be
gonna be important for me to be transparent for me to be willing to
transparent for me to be willing to
transparent for me to be willing to share some of my personal stories and
share some of my personal stories and
share some of my personal stories and invite her to do the same thing so
invite her to do the same thing so
invite her to do the same thing so that’s what I did three years later we
that’s what I did three years later we
that’s what I did three years later we still have that relationship and we’re
still have that relationship and we’re
still have that relationship and we’re still exchanging stories and I know it
still exchanging stories and I know it
still exchanging stories and I know it all started just from that small
all started just from that small
all started just from that small conversation we had on the day that I
conversation we had on the day that I
conversation we had on the day that I met her it was fascinating to me because
met her it was fascinating to me because
met her it was fascinating to me because oftentimes in social settings they say
oftentimes in social settings they say
oftentimes in social settings they say it’s completely selfish to just talk
it’s completely selfish to just talk
it’s completely selfish to just talk about yourself and trust me I do believe
about yourself and trust me I do believe
about yourself and trust me I do believe that 100% what I’m finding is more
that 100% what I’m finding is more
that 100% what I’m finding is more selfish is when we have these incredible
selfish is when we have these incredible
selfish is when we have these incredible stories that we could share stories that
stories that we could share stories that
stories that we could share stories that could allow us to develop relationships
could allow us to develop relationships
could allow us to develop relationships with people that are so different from
with people that are so different from
with people that are so different from us and we don’t share them for some
us and we don’t share them for some
us and we don’t share them for some reason I think we miss a lot of
reason I think we miss a lot of
reason I think we miss a lot of opportunities I know I certainly did I
opportunities I know I certainly did I
opportunities I know I certainly did I missed the opportunity for people to
missed the opportunity for people to
missed the opportunity for people to really get to know who I truly was but
really get to know who I truly was but
really get to know who I truly was but also missed opportunities to develop
also missed opportunities to develop
also missed opportunities to develop relationships that had that could have
relationships that had that could have
relationships that had that could have had dramatic impacts in my life and so
had dramatic impacts in my life and so
had dramatic impacts in my life and so today I’m proud to share my story I’m
today I’m proud to share my story I’m
today I’m proud to share my story I’m excited to share my story because I
excited to share my story because I
excited to share my story because I realize how much of a connection I can
realize how much of a connection I can
realize how much of a connection I can develop with other people and I value
develop with other people and I value
develop with other people and I value that sincerely so I’m thankful that you
that sincerely so I’m thankful that you
that sincerely so I’m thankful that you gave me the opportunity to share today
gave me the opportunity to share today
gave me the opportunity to share today but I’m more excited about hearing your
but I’m more excited about hearing your
but I’m more excited about hearing your story thank you
story thank you
story thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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