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Why You Should Never Grow Up | Cedric Clyburn | TEDxHickory


[Applause]

[Applause] how’s everybody doing today

well thank you all for the applause I’m

well thank you all for the applause I’m very happy to be here

very happy to be here

very happy to be here and let me tell you something I’ll be

and let me tell you something I’ll be

and let me tell you something I’ll be honest with you because growing up

honest with you because growing up

honest with you because growing up scares the out of me and I’m so

scares the out of me and I’m so

scares the out of me and I’m so serious because growing up is when you

serious because growing up is when you

serious because growing up is when you realize that instead of being an

realize that instead of being an

realize that instead of being an astronaut or a NASCAR driver you’re

astronaut or a NASCAR driver you’re

astronaut or a NASCAR driver you’re really just gonna be mark from HR that

really just gonna be mark from HR that

really just gonna be mark from HR that everybody hates now my name is Cedric

everybody hates now my name is Cedric

everybody hates now my name is Cedric Clyburn and for the past two years I’ve

Clyburn and for the past two years I’ve

Clyburn and for the past two years I’ve worked at a summer camp and spent

worked at a summer camp and spent

worked at a summer camp and spent countless hours babysitting there I am

countless hours babysitting there I am

countless hours babysitting there I am so I know the I have real-world

so I know the I have real-world

so I know the I have real-world experience dealing with children and

experience dealing with children and

experience dealing with children and understanding their personality types

understanding their personality types

understanding their personality types and behaviors more importantly I’m here

and behaviors more importantly I’m here

and behaviors more importantly I’m here to convince you that growing up is one

to convince you that growing up is one

to convince you that growing up is one of your worst life events and what you

of your worst life events and what you

of your worst life events and what you can do to stay youthful like the

can do to stay youthful like the

can do to stay youthful like the children that I deal with now common

children that I deal with now common

children that I deal with now common sense tells us what growing up means

sense tells us what growing up means

sense tells us what growing up means responsibilities mental and emotional

responsibilities mental and emotional

responsibilities mental and emotional development all that jazz Columbia

development all that jazz Columbia

development all that jazz Columbia University of New York defines growing

University of New York defines growing

University of New York defines growing up as including characteristics such as

up as including characteristics such as

up as including characteristics such as humility humbleness confidence

humility humbleness confidence

humility humbleness confidence independence it goes on and on my

independence it goes on and on my

independence it goes on and on my definition however is when you start to

definition however is when you start to

definition however is when you start to lose your youthful characteristics in

lose your youthful characteristics in

lose your youthful characteristics in your personality now why would it be a

your personality now why would it be a

your personality now why would it be a bad idea to grow up

bad idea to grow up

bad idea to grow up that’s simple because you stop doing

that’s simple because you stop doing

that’s simple because you stop doing things like this is really cold that day

things like this is really cold that day

things like this is really cold that day by the way and you step and you start

by the way and you step and you start

by the way and you step and you start going things like this and I’m not here

going things like this and I’m not here

going things like this and I’m not here to hate on office jobs or yell at you

to hate on office jobs or yell at you

to hate on office jobs or yell at you for not running three marathons a day

for not running three marathons a day

for not running three marathons a day but what I am here to do is help you to

but what I am here to do is help you to

but what I am here to do is help you to reach HAP the energy and regain the

reach HAP the energy and regain the

reach HAP the energy and regain the lifestyle that comes from being youthful

lifestyle that comes from being youthful

lifestyle that comes from being youthful now we’re always told to work longer and

now we’re always told to work longer and

now we’re always told to work longer and harder and faster to get more out of

harder and faster to get more out of

harder and faster to get more out of life but it seems like it doesn’t really

life but it seems like it doesn’t really

life but it seems like it doesn’t really work like that

work like that

work like that meanwhile we see children running around

meanwhile we see children running around

meanwhile we see children running around having fun being in the moment and being

having fun being in the moment and being

having fun being in the moment and being bored raise your hand if you’ve been

bored raise your hand if you’ve been

bored raise your hand if you’ve been bored recently oh there’s a little bit

bored recently oh there’s a little bit

bored recently oh there’s a little bit more than I was thinking

more than I was thinking

more than I was thinking but you see by working with children and

but you see by working with children and

but you see by working with children and understanding them I’ve been able to

understanding them I’ve been able to

understanding them I’ve been able to come up with a more realistic way of how

come up with a more realistic way of how

come up with a more realistic way of how they do what they do now to begin we

they do what they do now to begin we

they do what they do now to begin we need to look at how a child’s brain

need to look at how a child’s brain

need to look at how a child’s brain works by the park critical to this talk

works by the park critical to this talk

works by the park critical to this talk is up there top left the frontal lobe

is up there top left the frontal lobe

is up there top left the frontal lobe which is extremely active during a

which is extremely active during a

which is extremely active during a child’s development and also controls

child’s development and also controls

child’s development and also controls thought as well as voluntary behavior

thought as well as voluntary behavior

thought as well as voluntary behavior but having real-world experience with

but having real-world experience with

but having real-world experience with these kids this is how I see it

these kids this is how I see it

these kids this is how I see it being board yelling complaining and then

being board yelling complaining and then

being board yelling complaining and then and then sometimes they think and

and then sometimes they think and

and then sometimes they think and explore and you know that’s that’s the

explore and you know that’s that’s the

explore and you know that’s that’s the fun part but what I can take away from

fun part but what I can take away from

fun part but what I can take away from this childlike brain is what I can boil

this childlike brain is what I can boil

this childlike brain is what I can boil down to what I call the three useful

down to what I call the three useful

down to what I call the three useful principles and you might ask Cedric what

principles and you might ask Cedric what

principles and you might ask Cedric what are the three useful principles and I

are the three useful principles and I

are the three useful principles and I would respond well they’re questioning

would respond well they’re questioning

would respond well they’re questioning mindfulness and purposefulness but as we

mindfulness and purposefulness but as we

mindfulness and purposefulness but as we dive deeper into that why did I choose

dive deeper into that why did I choose

dive deeper into that why did I choose these well as a child grows up these are

these well as a child grows up these are

these well as a child grows up these are very important characteristics but also

very important characteristics but also

very important characteristics but also remain very important through adult life

remain very important through adult life

remain very important through adult life now for example being mindful in your

now for example being mindful in your

now for example being mindful in your life could lead to less stress and more

life could lead to less stress and more

life could lead to less stress and more happiness while seeking purpose and

happiness while seeking purpose and

happiness while seeking purpose and asking questions is critical to living a

asking questions is critical to living a

asking questions is critical to living a life based on the values that you

life based on the values that you

life based on the values that you cherish now questioning because

cherish now questioning because

cherish now questioning because according to Paul Harris a Harvard child

according to Paul Harris a Harvard child

according to Paul Harris a Harvard child psychologist a child asked about 40,000

psychologist a child asked about 40,000

psychologist a child asked about 40,000 questions between the ages of 2 & 5 now

questions between the ages of 2 & 5 now

questions between the ages of 2 & 5 now I was a parent I’d get sick of that but

I was a parent I’d get sick of that but

I was a parent I’d get sick of that but um but what’s interesting is that as

um but what’s interesting is that as

um but what’s interesting is that as they age they tend to change their

they age they tend to change their

they age they tend to change their questions from simply facts to deeper

questions from simply facts to deeper

questions from simply facts to deeper understandings and as we age as well we

understandings and as we age as well we

understandings and as we age as well we tend to it’s less significant but we

tend to it’s less significant but we

tend to it’s less significant but we have that same effect and that’s why

have that same effect and that’s why

have that same effect and that’s why questioning is very important to living

questioning is very important to living

questioning is very important to living a youthful life based on the questions

a youthful life based on the questions

a youthful life based on the questions that the prince the I’m sorry the values

that the prince the I’m sorry the values

that the prince the I’m sorry the values that you care about but

that you care about but

that you care about but if you’re in an environment where you

if you’re in an environment where you

if you’re in an environment where you cannot ask questions or exercise your

cannot ask questions or exercise your

cannot ask questions or exercise your brain how do you expect to progress your

brain how do you expect to progress your

brain how do you expect to progress your life forward now that’s a great stock

life forward now that’s a great stock

life forward now that’s a great stock picture by the way in order to stay

picture by the way in order to stay

picture by the way in order to stay youthful mentally it’s important to be

youthful mentally it’s important to be

youthful mentally it’s important to be mindful the Harvard Business Review

mindful the Harvard Business Review

mindful the Harvard Business Review recently published that mindfulness in

recently published that mindfulness in

recently published that mindfulness in the workplace can lead to more

the workplace can lead to more

the workplace can lead to more efficiency more less conflict in the

efficiency more less conflict in the

efficiency more less conflict in the workplace it goes on and on but it

workplace it goes on and on but it

workplace it goes on and on but it doesn’t stop at business because being

doesn’t stop at business because being

doesn’t stop at business because being mindful in your personal life can lead

mindful in your personal life can lead

mindful in your personal life can lead to more fulfillment and happiness and

to more fulfillment and happiness and

to more fulfillment and happiness and what’s interesting is that children seem

what’s interesting is that children seem

what’s interesting is that children seem to be born mindful Darrell Dunford from

to be born mindful Darrell Dunford from

to be born mindful Darrell Dunford from the Mayo Education Center spent years

the Mayo Education Center spent years

the Mayo Education Center spent years and years designing a program to help

and years designing a program to help

and years designing a program to help teachers with students from difficult

teachers with students from difficult

teachers with students from difficult backgrounds and what he observed was

backgrounds and what he observed was

backgrounds and what he observed was that with just a little little bit of

that with just a little little bit of

that with just a little little bit of mindfulness techniques the children

mindfulness techniques the children

mindfulness techniques the children immediately were showing more compassion

immediately were showing more compassion

immediately were showing more compassion and self-esteem and it’s important to be

and self-esteem and it’s important to be

and self-esteem and it’s important to be mindful in your life in order to have a

mindful in your life in order to have a

mindful in your life in order to have a youthful mindset

youthful mindset

youthful mindset now finally we get to purpose another

now finally we get to purpose another

now finally we get to purpose another great stock picture up there

great stock picture up there

great stock picture up there psychologist David Yeager and his

psychologist David Yeager and his

psychologist David Yeager and his colleagues went down to the San

colleagues went down to the San

colleagues went down to the San Francisco area to ask children about

Francisco area to ask children about

Francisco area to ask children about their life aspirations and he was

their life aspirations and he was

their life aspirations and he was surprised when most of the children

surprised when most of the children

surprised when most of the children spoke of making a positive impact on

spoke of making a positive impact on

spoke of making a positive impact on their community or society versus simply

their community or society versus simply

their community or society versus simply making money or being a celebrity you

making money or being a celebrity you

making money or being a celebrity you know attaining Fame and so it’s

know attaining Fame and so it’s

know attaining Fame and so it’s important to set goals for yourself and

important to set goals for yourself and

important to set goals for yourself and strive to benefit not only you but your

strive to benefit not only you but your

strive to benefit not only you but your family and community so you understand

family and community so you understand

family and community so you understand the three useful principles but what

the three useful principles but what

the three useful principles but what does that mean for you because the

does that mean for you because the

does that mean for you because the advice that being mindful and seeking

advice that being mindful and seeking

advice that being mindful and seeking purpose can lead to a more fulfilling

purpose can lead to a more fulfilling

purpose can lead to a more fulfilling life has been around forever but why is

life has been around forever but why is

life has been around forever but why is it so easy to hear but so difficult to

it so easy to hear but so difficult to

it so easy to hear but so difficult to apply it because in today’s modern

apply it because in today’s modern

apply it because in today’s modern society what we’d like more than ever is

society what we’d like more than ever is

society what we’d like more than ever is a quick fix but if you’re looking to

a quick fix but if you’re looking to

a quick fix but if you’re looking to make meaningful change that simply isn’t

make meaningful change that simply isn’t

make meaningful change that simply isn’t possible

now it’s like an exercise plan practice

now it’s like an exercise plan practice the principal’s more and you’ll start to

the principal’s more and you’ll start to

the principal’s more and you’ll start to see growth but don’t practice them at

see growth but don’t practice them at

see growth but don’t practice them at all and the effects will diminish but

all and the effects will diminish but

all and the effects will diminish but that’s why today I’m here to ask you to

that’s why today I’m here to ask you to

that’s why today I’m here to ask you to join me on the journey of starting your

join me on the journey of starting your

join me on the journey of starting your own beginners youthful mind exercise

own beginners youthful mind exercise

own beginners youthful mind exercise plan so grab a pen a paper you can write

plan so grab a pen a paper you can write

plan so grab a pen a paper you can write these down if you want or just remember

these down if you want or just remember

these down if you want or just remember that but I want you to start today

that but I want you to start today

that but I want you to start today because first we’re going to question

because first we’re going to question

because first we’re going to question more when you wake up I challenge you to

more when you wake up I challenge you to

more when you wake up I challenge you to ask three questions to yourself on what

ask three questions to yourself on what

ask three questions to yourself on what you’re thankful for just three questions

you’re thankful for just three questions

you’re thankful for just three questions begin to create a journal and I’m not

begin to create a journal and I’m not

begin to create a journal and I’m not asking you to make three paragraphs

asking you to make three paragraphs

asking you to make three paragraphs about what you’re thankful for but

about what you’re thankful for but

about what you’re thankful for but simply three things and be consistent do

simply three things and be consistent do

simply three things and be consistent do it each and every day

it each and every day

it each and every day secondly I challenge you to be more

secondly I challenge you to be more

secondly I challenge you to be more mindful in your personal life this means

mindful in your personal life this means

mindful in your personal life this means taking time out of your day to reflect

taking time out of your day to reflect

taking time out of your day to reflect upon yourself

upon yourself

upon yourself whether that be through meditation or

whether that be through meditation or

whether that be through meditation or going to the gym or simply taking a walk

going to the gym or simply taking a walk

going to the gym or simply taking a walk in the park

in the park

in the park there’s an old Zen saying that goes you

there’s an old Zen saying that goes you

there’s an old Zen saying that goes you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes

should sit in meditation for 20 minutes

should sit in meditation for 20 minutes each day unless you’re too busy then you

each day unless you’re too busy then you

each day unless you’re too busy then you should sit for an hour

should sit for an hour

should sit for an hour that’s why mindfulness is a key step in

that’s why mindfulness is a key step in

that’s why mindfulness is a key step in our training plan finally I challenge

our training plan finally I challenge

our training plan finally I challenge you to seek purpose this means making

you to seek purpose this means making

you to seek purpose this means making sure your actions are aligned with what

sure your actions are aligned with what

sure your actions are aligned with what your life aspirations are it means

your life aspirations are it means

your life aspirations are it means taking out more time for your hobbies

taking out more time for your hobbies

taking out more time for your hobbies and using your passion to make the world

and using your passion to make the world

and using your passion to make the world a better place

a better place

a better place understand that your world and the world

understand that your world and the world

understand that your world and the world can be changed by the trivial things

can be changed by the trivial things

can be changed by the trivial things that you do and seek to benefit all of

that you do and seek to benefit all of

that you do and seek to benefit all of humanity I’d like to close with a quote

humanity I’d like to close with a quote

humanity I’d like to close with a quote from rock icon Tom Petty who

from rock icon Tom Petty who

from rock icon Tom Petty who unfortunately passed this year but sung

unfortunately passed this year but sung

unfortunately passed this year but sung I don’t know what I’ve been told but you

I don’t know what I’ve been told but you

I don’t know what I’ve been told but you never slow down you never grow old so

never slow down you never grow old so

never slow down you never grow old so use the principles more and never grow

use the principles more and never grow

use the principles more and never grow up because in order to take the next

up because in order to take the next

up because in order to take the next step you must take a step back thank you

step you must take a step back thank you

step you must take a step back thank you very much

very much

very much you

”

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