what was the most important thing you learned about sex before you did it use
learned about sex before you did it use
learned about sex before you did it use a condom maybe avoid pregnancy if you
a condom maybe avoid pregnancy if you
a condom maybe avoid pregnancy if you had good sex education perhaps you
had good sex education perhaps you
had good sex education perhaps you learned about the importance of consent
learned about the importance of consent
learned about the importance of consent or something about love and
or something about love and
or something about love and relationships but how many of you
relationships but how many of you
relationships but how many of you learned about pleasure
learned about pleasure
learned about pleasure that sex no matter how you have it
that sex no matter how you have it
that sex no matter how you have it should actually kind of be enjoyable sex
should actually kind of be enjoyable sex
should actually kind of be enjoyable sex and masturbation are as old as humanity
and masturbation are as old as humanity
and masturbation are as old as humanity itself and yet it’s only recently that
itself and yet it’s only recently that
itself and yet it’s only recently that we started to have an open discussion
we started to have an open discussion
we started to have an open discussion about pleasure now sex education when
about pleasure now sex education when
about pleasure now sex education when you’re very young focuses on things like
you’re very young focuses on things like
you’re very young focuses on things like STI is pregnancy what should go where
STI is pregnancy what should go where
STI is pregnancy what should go where and when and we call this the plumbing
and when and we call this the plumbing
and when and we call this the plumbing and Prevention model it basically gives
and Prevention model it basically gives
and Prevention model it basically gives you the ingredients that you need to
you the ingredients that you need to
you the ingredients that you need to avoid complete disaster but it doesn’t
avoid complete disaster but it doesn’t
avoid complete disaster but it doesn’t really give you anything to aspire to
really give you anything to aspire to
really give you anything to aspire to and then as we get older sex advice in
and then as we get older sex advice in
and then as we get older sex advice in the media focuses on apps rather than
the media focuses on apps rather than
the media focuses on apps rather than pleasure here’s five new positions to
pleasure here’s five new positions to
pleasure here’s five new positions to try or ten different ways to give a
try or ten different ways to give a
try or ten different ways to give a blowjob and so we focus on what we
blowjob and so we focus on what we
blowjob and so we focus on what we should be doing rather than how we
should be doing rather than how we
should be doing rather than how we should be feeling and it’s bizarre right
should be feeling and it’s bizarre right
should be feeling and it’s bizarre right I mean imagine if we treated food the
I mean imagine if we treated food the
I mean imagine if we treated food the same way that we treat sex if you were
same way that we treat sex if you were
same way that we treat sex if you were taught that eating is about taking
taught that eating is about taking
taught that eating is about taking something putting in your mouth chewing
something putting in your mouth chewing
something putting in your mouth chewing it and swallowing it and things in the
it and swallowing it and things in the
it and swallowing it and things in the media focused around different
media focused around different
media focused around different techniques for chewing or ten different
techniques for chewing or ten different
techniques for chewing or ten different ways to hold a knife and fork without
ways to hold a knife and fork without
ways to hold a knife and fork without any of the context of the joy that food
any of the context of the joy that food
any of the context of the joy that food brings people or the different people
brings people or the different people
brings people or the different people have different tastes now the pleasure
have different tastes now the pleasure
have different tastes now the pleasure we get from food is not from chewing and
we get from food is not from chewing and
we get from food is not from chewing and swallowing just like the pleasure we get
swallowing just like the pleasure we get
swallowing just like the pleasure we get from sex is not about what goes where
from sex is not about what goes where
from sex is not about what goes where and when sex isn’t about actions
and when sex isn’t about actions
and when sex isn’t about actions it’s about sensations and connections
it’s about sensations and connections
it’s about sensations and connections with other people so what does this mean
with other people so what does this mean
with other people so what does this mean for the future of sex and the way that
for the future of sex and the way that
for the future of sex and the way that we develop new technology for pleasure
we develop new technology for pleasure
we develop new technology for pleasure after all when you hear about some weird
after all when you hear about some weird
after all when you hear about some weird new sex toy or an
new sex toy or an
new sex toy or an or a sex robot that will fulfill your
or a sex robot that will fulfill your
or a sex robot that will fulfill your every desire often the stories focus on
every desire often the stories focus on
every desire often the stories focus on what is going to happen this thing will
what is going to happen this thing will
what is going to happen this thing will squeeze or vibrate or it will connect
squeeze or vibrate or it will connect
squeeze or vibrate or it will connect with your pornography and one of these
with your pornography and one of these
with your pornography and one of these features might be quite fun what is
features might be quite fun what is
features might be quite fun what is important isn’t actually what that sex
important isn’t actually what that sex
important isn’t actually what that sex SEC does what’s important is how it
SEC does what’s important is how it
SEC does what’s important is how it feels and how it makes you explore the
feels and how it makes you explore the
feels and how it makes you explore the different meanings of pleasure to you
different meanings of pleasure to you
different meanings of pleasure to you now three years ago I started a company
now three years ago I started a company
now three years ago I started a company called mystery vibe and as part of my
called mystery vibe and as part of my
called mystery vibe and as part of my work I researched trends in sex and
work I researched trends in sex and
work I researched trends in sex and pleasure and I travel across the world
pleasure and I travel across the world
pleasure and I travel across the world and I talk to so many different people
and I talk to so many different people
and I talk to so many different people about sex it’s a hard life but time and
about sex it’s a hard life but time and
about sex it’s a hard life but time and time again some of the same trends keep
time again some of the same trends keep
time again some of the same trends keep coming back and I keep having
coming back and I keep having
coming back and I keep having conversations about them first off we
conversations about them first off we
conversations about them first off we are trying to seek a more realistic
are trying to seek a more realistic
are trying to seek a more realistic depiction of what life is really like
depiction of what life is really like
depiction of what life is really like in every aspect of our lives whether
in every aspect of our lives whether
in every aspect of our lives whether it’s seeing photography in the media
it’s seeing photography in the media
it’s seeing photography in the media that hasn’t been photoshopped or in
that hasn’t been photoshopped or in
that hasn’t been photoshopped or in period adverts seeing red blood instead
period adverts seeing red blood instead
period adverts seeing red blood instead of that weird blue liquid that you
of that weird blue liquid that you
of that weird blue liquid that you always see and secondly the way we’re
always see and secondly the way we’re
always see and secondly the way we’re talking about gender is changing and
talking about gender is changing and
talking about gender is changing and dramatically we used to say men like it
dramatically we used to say men like it
dramatically we used to say men like it this way women like it this way and
this way women like it this way and
this way women like it this way and they’ll never enjoy the same stuff but
they’ll never enjoy the same stuff but
they’ll never enjoy the same stuff but everywhere I go we’re starting to see
everywhere I go we’re starting to see
everywhere I go we’re starting to see more things that are gender less
more things that are gender less
more things that are gender less genderless fashion even genderless sex
genderless fashion even genderless sex
genderless fashion even genderless sex toys and the thread running through all
toys and the thread running through all
toys and the thread running through all the research that I’ve been doing and
the research that I’ve been doing and
the research that I’ve been doing and all the conversations I’ve been having
all the conversations I’ve been having
all the conversations I’ve been having is that people don’t want to be labeled
is that people don’t want to be labeled
is that people don’t want to be labeled anymore
anymore
anymore they want to look at things look at
they want to look at things look at
they want to look at things look at products look at companies and work out
products look at companies and work out
products look at companies and work out exactly how those things work for them
exactly how those things work for them
exactly how those things work for them as people so as we start to look more
as people so as we start to look more
as people so as we start to look more towards sex how can we bring that idea
towards sex how can we bring that idea
towards sex how can we bring that idea into sex and Technology well I’d argue
into sex and Technology well I’d argue
into sex and Technology well I’d argue to understand this we need to look at it
to understand this we need to look at it
to understand this we need to look at it very differently to how we’re looking at
very differently to how we’re looking at
very differently to how we’re looking at other industries often the products or
other industries often the products or
other industries often the products or services or companies that are very
services or companies that are very
services or companies that are very successful find a problem and they
successful find a problem and they
successful find a problem and they propose some kind of neat solution so
propose some kind of neat solution so
propose some kind of neat solution so problem I’m in a new city I have no idea
problem I’m in a new city I have no idea
problem I’m in a new city I have no idea where to go
where to go
where to go and taxis are kind of expensive solution
and taxis are kind of expensive solution
and taxis are kind of expensive solution uber or lyft or problem I want to watch
uber or lyft or problem I want to watch
uber or lyft or problem I want to watch my favorite TV show but I hate waiting
my favorite TV show but I hate waiting
my favorite TV show but I hate waiting every week for a new episodes come out
every week for a new episodes come out
every week for a new episodes come out solution is Netflix but with sex that
solution is Netflix but with sex that
solution is Netflix but with sex that falls into a horribly old-school trap
falls into a horribly old-school trap
falls into a horribly old-school trap its plumbing and Prevention the solution
its plumbing and Prevention the solution
its plumbing and Prevention the solution and problem approach simply does not
and problem approach simply does not
and problem approach simply does not work when it comes to sex because
work when it comes to sex because
work when it comes to sex because pleasure isn’t a problem that needs to
pleasure isn’t a problem that needs to
pleasure isn’t a problem that needs to be solved and that’s where our sex
be solved and that’s where our sex
be solved and that’s where our sex education system is falling down it
education system is falling down it
education system is falling down it treats sex as a problem and it offers
treats sex as a problem and it offers
treats sex as a problem and it offers you a list of tips or advice and how to
you a list of tips or advice and how to
you a list of tips or advice and how to solve it in fact when it comes to the
solve it in fact when it comes to the
solve it in fact when it comes to the bedroom the most important role that
bedroom the most important role that
bedroom the most important role that technology is going to play is in
technology is going to play is in
technology is going to play is in helping us discover now one of my
helping us discover now one of my
helping us discover now one of my favorite examples when it comes to this
favorite examples when it comes to this
favorite examples when it comes to this is virtual reality and at the moment
is virtual reality and at the moment
is virtual reality and at the moment virtual reality is only really used as
virtual reality is only really used as
virtual reality is only really used as something to make pornography better see
something to make pornography better see
something to make pornography better see it in 3d rather than 2d and at its most
it in 3d rather than 2d and at its most
it in 3d rather than 2d and at its most advanced you can connect some kind of
advanced you can connect some kind of
advanced you can connect some kind of product up to your headset so you can
product up to your headset so you can
product up to your headset so you can feel what you’re seeing but in the
feel what you’re seeing but in the
feel what you’re seeing but in the future as the price of this technology
future as the price of this technology
future as the price of this technology comes down we’ll start to see more
comes down we’ll start to see more
comes down we’ll start to see more real-time interactions
real-time interactions
real-time interactions now while people use this as an example
now while people use this as an example
now while people use this as an example of how to people over a long distance
of how to people over a long distance
of how to people over a long distance could stay connected and enjoy things
could stay connected and enjoy things
could stay connected and enjoy things together a really interesting question
together a really interesting question
together a really interesting question for me is what if we could have full
for me is what if we could have full
for me is what if we could have full romantic and sexual relationships
romantic and sexual relationships
romantic and sexual relationships entirely in virtual spaces so you could
entirely in virtual spaces so you could
entirely in virtual spaces so you could put your headset on you could connect to
put your headset on you could connect to
put your headset on you could connect to that with someone else and you could go
that with someone else and you could go
that with someone else and you could go on a date you could go to the cinema you
on a date you could go to the cinema you
on a date you could go to the cinema you could go for a walk on Mars if you
could go for a walk on Mars if you
could go for a walk on Mars if you wanted to and you could have sex now if
wanted to and you could have sex now if
wanted to and you could have sex now if we are having these relationships in
we are having these relationships in
we are having these relationships in purely virtual spaces we can start
purely virtual spaces we can start
purely virtual spaces we can start asking different questions it’s not
asking different questions it’s not
asking different questions it’s not about how does this virtual reality work
about how does this virtual reality work
about how does this virtual reality work yes I put my headset on I connect up and
yes I put my headset on I connect up and
yes I put my headset on I connect up and go we can start asking questions like
go we can start asking questions like
go we can start asking questions like how will my criteria for compatibility
how will my criteria for compatibility
how will my criteria for compatibility change after all if I’m never going to
change after all if I’m never going to
change after all if I’m never going to meet this purse
meet this purse
meet this purse in real life does it even matter what
in real life does it even matter what
in real life does it even matter what they look like does it matter what hair
they look like does it matter what hair
they look like does it matter what hair color they have or eye color or face
color they have or eye color or face
color they have or eye color or face shape or body shape or even gender does
shape or body shape or even gender does
shape or body shape or even gender does it matter what gender you have in
it matter what gender you have in
it matter what gender you have in virtual reality you could have sex as
virtual reality you could have sex as
virtual reality you could have sex as someone with a completely different body
someone with a completely different body
someone with a completely different body shape or gender and so we start asking
shape or gender and so we start asking
shape or gender and so we start asking ourselves different questions what do I
ourselves different questions what do I
ourselves different questions what do I find sexy about someone’s behavior what
find sexy about someone’s behavior what
find sexy about someone’s behavior what are their erotic qualities beyond the
are their erotic qualities beyond the
are their erotic qualities beyond the physical now I’m not just trying to
physical now I’m not just trying to
physical now I’m not just trying to update the old phrase personality is
update the old phrase personality is
update the old phrase personality is more important than looks but the real
more important than looks but the real
more important than looks but the real thing that this helps us discover is why
thing that this helps us discover is why
thing that this helps us discover is why technology it doesn’t matter what it
technology it doesn’t matter what it
technology it doesn’t matter what it does it doesn’t matter that you can
does it doesn’t matter that you can
does it doesn’t matter that you can connect it up to someone else what
connect it up to someone else what
connect it up to someone else what matters is how it helps you question
matters is how it helps you question
matters is how it helps you question where you get your pleasure from what
where you get your pleasure from what
where you get your pleasure from what you desire and how you see your humanity
you desire and how you see your humanity
you desire and how you see your humanity and your identity so how do we push
and your identity so how do we push
and your identity so how do we push forward from this how do we make sure
forward from this how do we make sure
forward from this how do we make sure that the products and the technologies
that the products and the technologies
that the products and the technologies that we’re developing in the future are
that we’re developing in the future are
that we’re developing in the future are helping us to ask more questions rather
helping us to ask more questions rather
helping us to ask more questions rather than telling us what to do and giving us
than telling us what to do and giving us
than telling us what to do and giving us instructions and assuming that everyone
instructions and assuming that everyone
instructions and assuming that everyone is exactly the same well three years ago
is exactly the same well three years ago
is exactly the same well three years ago when we started our company mystery vibe
when we started our company mystery vibe
when we started our company mystery vibe we thought we’d found a problem and the
we thought we’d found a problem and the
we thought we’d found a problem and the problem was that technology was creating
problem was that technology was creating
problem was that technology was creating this barrier to intimacy
this barrier to intimacy
this barrier to intimacy you know how it is these days we are
you know how it is these days we are
you know how it is these days we are constantly bombarded by text by
constantly bombarded by text by
constantly bombarded by text by notifications by emails by whatsapp by
notifications by emails by whatsapp by
notifications by emails by whatsapp by Facebook and it becomes very difficult
Facebook and it becomes very difficult
Facebook and it becomes very difficult to switch off from your technology and
to switch off from your technology and
to switch off from your technology and switch onto your partner or the people
switch onto your partner or the people
switch onto your partner or the people around you for some people their phone
around you for some people their phone
around you for some people their phone is the last thing they touch at night
is the last thing they touch at night
is the last thing they touch at night and the first thing they touch in the
and the first thing they touch in the
and the first thing they touch in the morning but the more we started to think
morning but the more we started to think
morning but the more we started to think about this the more we started to
about this the more we started to
about this the more we started to question is technology really the
question is technology really the
question is technology really the problem here after all your phone could
problem here after all your phone could
problem here after all your phone could be used for something pleasurable you
be used for something pleasurable you
be used for something pleasurable you could watch a piece of erotica with your
could watch a piece of erotica with your
could watch a piece of erotica with your partner or you can use an app that could
partner or you can use an app that could
partner or you can use an app that could explore different kinds of kinks or
explore different kinds of kinks or
explore different kinds of kinks or fetishes so just as technology can help
fetishes so just as technology can help
fetishes so just as technology can help you send an email at 11:00 p.m. when
you send an email at 11:00 p.m. when
you send an email at 11:00 p.m. when something is going awfully wrong and
something is going awfully wrong and
something is going awfully wrong and your boss is chasing and chasing you it
your boss is chasing and chasing you it
your boss is chasing and chasing you it also means that you can connect with
also means that you can connect with
also means that you can connect with people in places
people in places
people in places and in ways that you never would have
and in ways that you never would have
and in ways that you never would have been able to before and when your
been able to before and when your
been able to before and when your parents or your grandparents tell you to
parents or your grandparents tell you to
parents or your grandparents tell you to put your phone down and have a real
put your phone down and have a real
put your phone down and have a real conversation with real people in the
conversation with real people in the
conversation with real people in the real world they don’t understand that
real world they don’t understand that
real world they don’t understand that that’s exactly what you’re doing
that’s exactly what you’re doing
that’s exactly what you’re doing technology is fundamentally about
technology is fundamentally about
technology is fundamentally about relationships and so it’s sex tech job
relationships and so it’s sex tech job
relationships and so it’s sex tech job to facilitate these relationships to
to facilitate these relationships to
to facilitate these relationships to make it easier to connect with your
make it easier to connect with your
make it easier to connect with your partner and to make it easier to connect
partner and to make it easier to connect
partner and to make it easier to connect with the desires and the different
with the desires and the different
with the desires and the different pleasures that you might find I mean
pleasures that you might find I mean
pleasures that you might find I mean after all when you go through your life
after all when you go through your life
after all when you go through your life and as you get older what you desire and
and as you get older what you desire and
and as you get older what you desire and what you find pleasurable will change it
what you find pleasurable will change it
what you find pleasurable will change it will change depending on your mood
will change depending on your mood
will change depending on your mood depending on the person you’re with
depending on the person you’re with
depending on the person you’re with depending on what food you eat in that
depending on what food you eat in that
depending on what food you eat in that day and any number of other factors so
day and any number of other factors so
day and any number of other factors so that old-school instruction LED idea of
that old-school instruction LED idea of
that old-school instruction LED idea of sex and sex education is slowly
sex and sex education is slowly
sex and sex education is slowly disappearing and in its place
disappearing and in its place
disappearing and in its place sex technology will help us facilitate
sex technology will help us facilitate
sex technology will help us facilitate conversations to engage more in
conversations to engage more in
conversations to engage more in sexuality what it means to be human what
sexuality what it means to be human what
sexuality what it means to be human what it means to be intimate and so the next
it means to be intimate and so the next
it means to be intimate and so the next time you read that story about that
time you read that story about that
time you read that story about that crazy new sex toy or that app or that
crazy new sex toy or that app or that
crazy new sex toy or that app or that robot instead of asking what does it do
robot instead of asking what does it do
robot instead of asking what does it do ask how does it make me feel how will it
ask how does it make me feel how will it
ask how does it make me feel how will it help me explore my desire and my
help me explore my desire and my
help me explore my desire and my pleasure in the future and perhaps the
pleasure in the future and perhaps the
pleasure in the future and perhaps the next time you’re in bed with your
next time you’re in bed with your
next time you’re in bed with your partner instead of asking what should I
partner instead of asking what should I
partner instead of asking what should I do ask them how do you want me to make
do ask them how do you want me to make
do ask them how do you want me to make you feel thank you
”
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