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Why We Should Fail | Alicia Chow | TEDxYouth@HPA


everyone fails it’s a part of being

everyone fails it’s a part of being human no matter how good we might be how

human no matter how good we might be how

human no matter how good we might be how smart or how perfect we seem we fail

smart or how perfect we seem we fail

smart or how perfect we seem we fail sometimes pretty epically but let me

sometimes pretty epically but let me

sometimes pretty epically but let me tell you a story about why failure isn’t

tell you a story about why failure isn’t

tell you a story about why failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing my story starts

necessarily a bad thing my story starts

necessarily a bad thing my story starts with college Honor applications most

with college Honor applications most

with college Honor applications most colleges have an essay with variations

colleges have an essay with variations

colleges have an essay with variations of this question what is your biggest

of this question what is your biggest

of this question what is your biggest failure as of right now my biggest

failure as of right now my biggest

failure as of right now my biggest failure was not getting into Stanford

failure was not getting into Stanford

failure was not getting into Stanford University I know what you’re probably

University I know what you’re probably

University I know what you’re probably thinking that’s not really a failure is

thinking that’s not really a failure is

thinking that’s not really a failure is it but to me it was like the ground

it but to me it was like the ground

it but to me it was like the ground dropped out from beneath my feet when I

dropped out from beneath my feet when I

dropped out from beneath my feet when I read my rejection letter Stanford had

read my rejection letter Stanford had

read my rejection letter Stanford had seemed like the perfect school for me I

seemed like the perfect school for me I

seemed like the perfect school for me I saw how excited my sister was when she

saw how excited my sister was when she

saw how excited my sister was when she went for admin tweakin in 2014 and I

went for admin tweakin in 2014 and I

went for admin tweakin in 2014 and I thought that I could be just as happy as

thought that I could be just as happy as

thought that I could be just as happy as she was there Stanford became my dream

she was there Stanford became my dream

she was there Stanford became my dream school I thought constantly about how

school I thought constantly about how

school I thought constantly about how wonderful it would be to get in I even

wonderful it would be to get in I even

wonderful it would be to get in I even prayed for it and we know how that story

prayed for it and we know how that story

prayed for it and we know how that story ends what you don’t know was how on the

ends what you don’t know was how on the

ends what you don’t know was how on the day decisions were emailed out a friend

day decisions were emailed out a friend

day decisions were emailed out a friend of mine ran up the hill and told me my

of mine ran up the hill and told me my

of mine ran up the hill and told me my fate would be determined what you don’t

fate would be determined what you don’t

fate would be determined what you don’t know was that throughout the entire day

know was that throughout the entire day

know was that throughout the entire day my mind was numb and my arse were

my mind was numb and my arse were

my mind was numb and my arse were shaking with dread and fear and

shaking with dread and fear and

shaking with dread and fear and excitement I couldn’t think couldn’t

excitement I couldn’t think couldn’t

excitement I couldn’t think couldn’t focus on anything but the email sitting

focus on anything but the email sitting

focus on anything but the email sitting innocently in my inbox just screaming at

innocently in my inbox just screaming at

innocently in my inbox just screaming at me to open it I kept running through

me to open it I kept running through

me to open it I kept running through endless possibilities in my head I

endless possibilities in my head I

endless possibilities in my head I pictured celebrating with my parents

pictured celebrating with my parents

pictured celebrating with my parents crying tears of joy at the same time I

crying tears of joy at the same time I

crying tears of joy at the same time I also saw myself on the streets in some

also saw myself on the streets in some

also saw myself on the streets in some unknown City holding a collection soon I

unknown City holding a collection soon I

unknown City holding a collection soon I cried for about half an hour after I saw

cried for about half an hour after I saw

cried for about half an hour after I saw the letter that I got and went to go

the letter that I got and went to go

the letter that I got and went to go study for my finals everyone thought I

study for my finals everyone thought I

study for my finals everyone thought I was dealing with it well myself included

was dealing with it well myself included

was dealing with it well myself included but soon it became clear that I was not

but soon it became clear that I was not

but soon it became clear that I was not in fact handling it well I started

in fact handling it well I started

in fact handling it well I started applying to other schools like Harvard

applying to other schools like Harvard

applying to other schools like Harvard and Columbia because why not try for

and Columbia because why not try for

and Columbia because why not try for them and yet I couldn’t help but think

them and yet I couldn’t help but think

them and yet I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was aiming too high maybe

that maybe I was aiming too high maybe

that maybe I was aiming too high maybe this was all just a waste of time and

this was all just a waste of time and

this was all just a waste of time and money

money

money maybe I my essays would have been

maybe I my essays would have been

maybe I my essays would have been perfect if I’d rewritten that one

perfect if I’d rewritten that one

perfect if I’d rewritten that one sentence maybe if I’d applied Regular

sentence maybe if I’d applied Regular

sentence maybe if I’d applied Regular Decision

Decision

Decision I would have gotten in maybe maybe I

I would have gotten in maybe maybe I

I would have gotten in maybe maybe I just wasn’t as good as people believed

just wasn’t as good as people believed

just wasn’t as good as people believed because I thought I’d tried my best

because I thought I’d tried my best

because I thought I’d tried my best after all I wanted it so badly but what

after all I wanted it so badly but what

after all I wanted it so badly but what if my best just wasn’t good enough one

if my best just wasn’t good enough one

if my best just wasn’t good enough one reason why the rejection was so

reason why the rejection was so

reason why the rejection was so crippling to me was because I was

crippling to me was because I was

crippling to me was because I was looking too closely at it I kept

looking too closely at it I kept

looking too closely at it I kept thinking that Stanford had rejected me

thinking that Stanford had rejected me

thinking that Stanford had rejected me because I wasn’t up to their standard

because I wasn’t up to their standard

because I wasn’t up to their standard that it was entirely my fault I hadn’t

that it was entirely my fault I hadn’t

that it was entirely my fault I hadn’t gotten in but as many wise people told

gotten in but as many wise people told

gotten in but as many wise people told me colleges don’t necessarily pick the

me colleges don’t necessarily pick the

me colleges don’t necessarily pick the best people they choose the people they

best people they choose the people they

best people they choose the people they think will strengthen their community

think will strengthen their community

think will strengthen their community people who will help improve the school

people who will help improve the school

people who will help improve the school maybe I would have been really happy at

maybe I would have been really happy at

maybe I would have been really happy at Stanford maybe I would have been

Stanford maybe I would have been

Stanford maybe I would have been absolutely miserable

absolutely miserable

absolutely miserable but in the end it really is just down to

but in the end it really is just down to

but in the end it really is just down to luck and what the school is looking for

luck and what the school is looking for

luck and what the school is looking for even knowing this I don’t think I would

even knowing this I don’t think I would

even knowing this I don’t think I would have recovered as quickly as I did if I

have recovered as quickly as I did if I

have recovered as quickly as I did if I hadn’t had my amazing friends and family

hadn’t had my amazing friends and family

hadn’t had my amazing friends and family to help me through it they comforted me

to help me through it they comforted me

to help me through it they comforted me and one of my darkest times helping me

and one of my darkest times helping me

and one of my darkest times helping me understand that this failure didn’t

understand that this failure didn’t

understand that this failure didn’t define me and that I was loved friends

define me and that I was loved friends

define me and that I was loved friends who were in college talked to me about

who were in college talked to me about

who were in college talked to me about their own rejections from their dream

their own rejections from their dream

their own rejections from their dream schools and helped me realize that life

schools and helped me realize that life

schools and helped me realize that life has a way of working out for the better

has a way of working out for the better

has a way of working out for the better all of my loved ones nudged me towards

all of my loved ones nudged me towards

all of my loved ones nudged me towards the realization that my worth goes

the realization that my worth goes

the realization that my worth goes beyond what I accomplished and where I

beyond what I accomplished and where I

beyond what I accomplished and where I go to school but is instead Who I am at

go to school but is instead Who I am at

go to school but is instead Who I am at my very core it took me a while to

my very core it took me a while to

my very core it took me a while to realize that it is not our failures that

realize that it is not our failures that

realize that it is not our failures that define us but what we take from them how

define us but what we take from them how

define us but what we take from them how you decide to recover from a mistake

you decide to recover from a mistake

you decide to recover from a mistake even one as small as perhaps biting into

even one as small as perhaps biting into

even one as small as perhaps biting into crunchy pasta is far more important and

crunchy pasta is far more important and

crunchy pasta is far more important and applying through other colleges I

applying through other colleges I

applying through other colleges I explored all aspects of my psyche

explored all aspects of my psyche

explored all aspects of my psyche leading to a better understanding of me

leading to a better understanding of me

leading to a better understanding of me as a person I was forced to confront

as a person I was forced to confront

as a person I was forced to confront myself to delve into how I could make a

myself to delve into how I could make a

myself to delve into how I could make a difference in a larger community what

difference in a larger community what

difference in a larger community what could I really bring to the table how

could I really bring to the table how

could I really bring to the table how were my ideas worthwhile and this way

were my ideas worthwhile and this way

were my ideas worthwhile and this way the college application was not helping

the college application was not helping

the college application was not helping me regain my self-confidence assuring me

me regain my self-confidence assuring me

me regain my self-confidence assuring me that I did have something to offer but

that I did have something to offer but

that I did have something to offer but when you do fail as everyone does at

when you do fail as everyone does at

when you do fail as everyone does at some point you just have to get right

some point you just have to get right

some point you just have to get right back up and do the best you can a good

back up and do the best you can a good

back up and do the best you can a good friend used to tell me life is always

friend used to tell me life is always

friend used to tell me life is always beyond your control and you know what

beyond your control and you know what

beyond your control and you know what he’s right nobody can control their life

he’s right nobody can control their life

he’s right nobody can control their life you can’t predict how things will go so

you can’t predict how things will go so

you can’t predict how things will go so stop blaming yourself

stop blaming yourself

stop blaming yourself stand up tall keep your chin up and

stand up tall keep your chin up and

stand up tall keep your chin up and remember that you are beautiful as you

remember that you are beautiful as you

remember that you are beautiful as you are try your hardest and do your best

are try your hardest and do your best

are try your hardest and do your best because that will always be good enough

because that will always be good enough

because that will always be good enough take a deep breath and remember that

take a deep breath and remember that

take a deep breath and remember that life isn’t over just yet

life isn’t over just yet

life isn’t over just yet one failures happen find another goal to

one failures happen find another goal to

one failures happen find another goal to work towards so keep trying keep

work towards so keep trying keep

work towards so keep trying keep dreaming and keep failing because you

dreaming and keep failing because you

dreaming and keep failing because you never know what you’ll learn I’d like to

never know what you’ll learn I’d like to

never know what you’ll learn I’d like to finish with a poem that I wrote for an

finish with a poem that I wrote for an

finish with a poem that I wrote for an English assignment emerging from that

English assignment emerging from that

English assignment emerging from that cave like I was in a dream my mind is

cave like I was in a dream my mind is

cave like I was in a dream my mind is like curly fries can’t differentiate the

like curly fries can’t differentiate the

like curly fries can’t differentiate the in-between they say you are what you eat

in-between they say you are what you eat

in-between they say you are what you eat nowadays but I’m not an apple of the

nowadays but I’m not an apple of the

nowadays but I’m not an apple of the earth at 91 degrees and I’m being

earth at 91 degrees and I’m being

earth at 91 degrees and I’m being lowered into this vat of spitting hot

lowered into this vat of spitting hot

lowered into this vat of spitting hot oil six of us sit at the table having

oil six of us sit at the table having

oil six of us sit at the table having simultaneous breakdowns break frowns

simultaneous breakdowns break frowns

simultaneous breakdowns break frowns until after laced with nerves people

until after laced with nerves people

until after laced with nerves people like us are expected to be the fives of

like us are expected to be the fives of

like us are expected to be the fives of the world but how can we if I only feel

the world but how can we if I only feel

the world but how can we if I only feel like a one how can we be in this world

like a one how can we be in this world

like a one how can we be in this world of two-dimensional black and white

of two-dimensional black and white

of two-dimensional black and white inherited by yearning youths coughing up

inherited by yearning youths coughing up

inherited by yearning youths coughing up coffee all of us struggling going for

coffee all of us struggling going for

coffee all of us struggling going for the Stanford standard because I’m a

the Stanford standard because I’m a

the Stanford standard because I’m a genius the scholar who don’t got time

genius the scholar who don’t got time

genius the scholar who don’t got time for a gentleman caller and I’m staring

for a gentleman caller and I’m staring

for a gentleman caller and I’m staring down at this hot potato if I don’t get

down at this hot potato if I don’t get

down at this hot potato if I don’t get it I don’t get off the sinking volcano

it I don’t get off the sinking volcano

it I don’t get off the sinking volcano lava will swallow me up and sharks will

lava will swallow me up and sharks will

lava will swallow me up and sharks will eat my bones

eat my bones

eat my bones water is essential so make sure to

water is essential so make sure to

water is essential so make sure to hydrate but my life is ended by just one

hydrate but my life is ended by just one

hydrate but my life is ended by just one carbohydrate motivation is dropping like

carbohydrate motivation is dropping like

carbohydrate motivation is dropping like that exponential decay bullets coming at

that exponential decay bullets coming at

that exponential decay bullets coming at me I can’t get out of the way our minds

me I can’t get out of the way our minds

me I can’t get out of the way our minds are filled with these edible tubers I

are filled with these edible tubers I

are filled with these edible tubers I saw why some stars in the sky become

saw why some stars in the sky become

saw why some stars in the sky become shooters this is potato heads laughing

shooters this is potato heads laughing

shooters this is potato heads laughing at me at us at you but remember all she

at me at us at you but remember all she

at me at us at you but remember all she is is just one little potato thank you

is is just one little potato thank you

is is just one little potato thank you [Applause]

”

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