my father died over three decades ago he was traveling home on the – in London
was traveling home on the – in London
was traveling home on the – in London the underground the subway having
the underground the subway having
the underground the subway having visited my mother who was in hospital
visited my mother who was in hospital
visited my mother who was in hospital with an ear infection my three my two
with an ear infection my three my two
with an ear infection my three my two sisters and I didn’t live in London and
sisters and I didn’t live in London and
sisters and I didn’t live in London and we tried to contact my father that
we tried to contact my father that
we tried to contact my father that evening to see how things were going we
evening to see how things were going we
evening to see how things were going we couldn’t get through this was not like
couldn’t get through this was not like
couldn’t get through this was not like him we tried and tried eventually one of
him we tried and tried eventually one of
him we tried and tried eventually one of my sisters reported him missing to the
my sisters reported him missing to the
my sisters reported him missing to the police 24 hours later the police
police 24 hours later the police
police 24 hours later the police informed us that he had died on the tube
informed us that he had died on the tube
informed us that he had died on the tube as he had been leaving my mother from a
as he had been leaving my mother from a
as he had been leaving my mother from a heart attack they hadn’t told us and
heart attack they hadn’t told us and
heart attack they hadn’t told us and this is despite the fact that he had
this is despite the fact that he had
this is despite the fact that he had much identification on him in amongst my
much identification on him in amongst my
much identification on him in amongst my grief I was angry the next day I went to
grief I was angry the next day I went to
grief I was angry the next day I went to the morgue but some berries and as I was
the morgue but some berries and as I was
the morgue but some berries and as I was entering I saw a young policeman who had
entering I saw a young policeman who had
entering I saw a young policeman who had located us and my father’s body and had
located us and my father’s body and had
located us and my father’s body and had been involved in communicating what had
been involved in communicating what had
been involved in communicating what had been going on I was extremely angry when
been going on I was extremely angry when
been going on I was extremely angry when I saw him and I let rip I talked to him
I saw him and I let rip I talked to him
I saw him and I let rip I talked to him well talked maybe an understatement
well talked maybe an understatement
well talked maybe an understatement I spoke with him about British racism
I spoke with him about British racism
I spoke with him about British racism about the racism of British police and
about the racism of British police and
about the racism of British police and how could they not appreciate that an
how could they not appreciate that an
how could they not appreciate that an old Indian man still had a family and
old Indian man still had a family and
old Indian man still had a family and had dignity something that they had
had dignity something that they had
had dignity something that they had ignored as I stopped I looked up and he
ignored as I stopped I looked up and he
ignored as I stopped I looked up and he had tears in his eyes and was
had tears in his eyes and was
had tears in his eyes and was apologizing profusely as he apologized I
apologizing profusely as he apologized I
apologizing profusely as he apologized I felt that I was starting to forgive him
felt that I was starting to forgive him
felt that I was starting to forgive him and why this is important is that it
and why this is important is that it
and why this is important is that it wasn’t his tears and his apology that
wasn’t his tears and his apology that
wasn’t his tears and his apology that allowed me to be open to forgiveness it
allowed me to be open to forgiveness it
allowed me to be open to forgiveness it was the fact that I had been angry and
was the fact that I had been angry and
was the fact that I had been angry and my anger had been hurt but I could then
my anger had been hurt but I could then
my anger had been hurt but I could then move on let go and
move on let go and
move on let go and forgive even the British police another
forgive even the British police another
forgive even the British police another example last week I went to see the film
example last week I went to see the film
example last week I went to see the film hidden figures
hidden figures
hidden figures it’s a 2017 film which is based on the
it’s a 2017 film which is based on the
it’s a 2017 film which is based on the stories of three African American women
stories of three African American women
stories of three African American women a scientist an engineer and a
a scientist an engineer and a
a scientist an engineer and a mathematician who all work NASA the
mathematician who all work NASA the
mathematician who all work NASA the common goal for the whole project is to
common goal for the whole project is to
common goal for the whole project is to put someone in space and in this case it
put someone in space and in this case it
put someone in space and in this case it ended up being John Glenn and then
ended up being John Glenn and then
ended up being John Glenn and then working out the orbits so that he could
working out the orbits so that he could
working out the orbits so that he could come back to earth say he it’s a very
come back to earth say he it’s a very
come back to earth say he it’s a very good film no doubt about it and if you
good film no doubt about it and if you
good film no doubt about it and if you haven’t seen it please do but I mention
haven’t seen it please do but I mention
haven’t seen it please do but I mention it here because in one scene one of the
it here because in one scene one of the
it here because in one scene one of the characters Catherine Jones played by
characters Catherine Jones played by
characters Catherine Jones played by Thoreau GP Henson gets angry she works
Thoreau GP Henson gets angry she works
Thoreau GP Henson gets angry she works in the space task group and she gets
in the space task group and she gets
in the space task group and she gets angry with her group and tells her boss
angry with her group and tells her boss
angry with her group and tells her boss about her anger she is the only black
about her anger she is the only black
about her anger she is the only black woman in the group she is one of only
woman in the group she is one of only
woman in the group she is one of only two women she’s a key mathematician
two women she’s a key mathematician
two women she’s a key mathematician she’s a mild-mannered woman who has
she’s a mild-mannered woman who has
she’s a mild-mannered woman who has strong beliefs and values and doesn’t
strong beliefs and values and doesn’t
strong beliefs and values and doesn’t enjoy living in Virginia in segregated
enjoy living in Virginia in segregated
enjoy living in Virginia in segregated Virginia
Virginia
Virginia despite the 1954 Supreme Court ruling in
despite the 1954 Supreme Court ruling in
despite the 1954 Supreme Court ruling in the scene she describes angrily to her
the scene she describes angrily to her
the scene she describes angrily to her boss how she has to walk ten minutes
boss how she has to walk ten minutes
boss how she has to walk ten minutes each way to get to the bathroom she
each way to get to the bathroom she
each way to get to the bathroom she points to a small coffee percolator but
points to a small coffee percolator but
points to a small coffee percolator but she is expected to use because it is
she is expected to use because it is
she is expected to use because it is marked colored the others don’t want her
marked colored the others don’t want her
marked colored the others don’t want her to use the coffee urn that they drink
to use the coffee urn that they drink
to use the coffee urn that they drink their coffee from and she finally tells
their coffee from and she finally tells
their coffee from and she finally tells her boss but her supervisor had said to
her boss but her supervisor had said to
her boss but her supervisor had said to her you can have only one string of
her you can have only one string of
her you can have only one string of pearls for jewelry she looks her boss in
pearls for jewelry she looks her boss in
pearls for jewelry she looks her boss in the eye and says I don’t have money for
the eye and says I don’t have money for
the eye and says I don’t have money for that one string of pearls
that one string of pearls
that one string of pearls as you can imagine the scene formed a
as you can imagine the scene formed a
as you can imagine the scene formed a pivotal moment in the film and led to
pivotal moment in the film and led to
pivotal moment in the film and led to actions on the part of her boss herself
actions on the part of her boss herself
actions on the part of her boss herself and others to desegregate NASA and as it
and others to desegregate NASA and as it
and others to desegregate NASA and as it became desegregated of course they could
became desegregated of course they could
became desegregated of course they could work much more constructively on this
work much more constructively on this
work much more constructively on this common goal
common goal
common goal I mentioned the scene as you may have
I mentioned the scene as you may have
I mentioned the scene as you may have guessed because her anger and being
guessed because her anger and being
guessed because her anger and being heard meant that she could then start to
heard meant that she could then start to
heard meant that she could then start to forgive her colleagues for their
forgive her colleagues for their
forgive her colleagues for their narrow-minded racism and once she could
narrow-minded racism and once she could
narrow-minded racism and once she could start to forgive them they could work
start to forgive them they could work
start to forgive them they could work together in collaboration it was her
together in collaboration it was her
together in collaboration it was her anger that facilitated the forgiveness
anger that facilitated the forgiveness
anger that facilitated the forgiveness now many people suggest that anger and
now many people suggest that anger and
now many people suggest that anger and forgiveness are polar opposites
forgiveness are polar opposites
forgiveness are polar opposites forgiveness makes us whole anger tears
forgiveness makes us whole anger tears
forgiveness makes us whole anger tears us apart however I think there’s
us apart however I think there’s
us apart however I think there’s something different going on I think
something different going on I think
something different going on I think that anger and forgiveness are related
that anger and forgiveness are related
that anger and forgiveness are related to each other in a much more complicated
to each other in a much more complicated
to each other in a much more complicated way forgiveness needs anger in order to
way forgiveness needs anger in order to
way forgiveness needs anger in order to be able to forgive I need to feel anger
be able to forgive I need to feel anger
be able to forgive I need to feel anger I need to express that anger so that I
I need to express that anger so that I
I need to express that anger so that I may let go of that anger and move into
may let go of that anger and move into
may let go of that anger and move into forgiveness now I’m not talking about
forgiveness now I’m not talking about
forgiveness now I’m not talking about physical or violent anger I’ll say that
physical or violent anger I’ll say that
physical or violent anger I’ll say that for my next TEDx talk the philosopher
for my next TEDx talk the philosopher
for my next TEDx talk the philosopher David White said stripped of physical
David White said stripped of physical
David White said stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction anger
imprisonment and violent reaction anger
imprisonment and violent reaction anger is the purest form of care stripped of
is the purest form of care stripped of
is the purest form of care stripped of physical imprisonment and violent
physical imprisonment and violent
physical imprisonment and violent reaction anger is the purest form of
reaction anger is the purest form of
reaction anger is the purest form of care that is the anger I speak about
care that is the anger I speak about
care that is the anger I speak about today stripped of that physical
today stripped of that physical
today stripped of that physical imprisonment and violent reaction we can
imprisonment and violent reaction we can
imprisonment and violent reaction we can become angry because we care about
become angry because we care about
become angry because we care about people think parents and children or we
people think parents and children or we
people think parents and children or we become angry when we think about issues
become angry when we think about issues
become angry when we think about issues imagine what happens when you encounter
imagine what happens when you encounter
imagine what happens when you encounter blatant traces
blatant traces
blatant traces when you see it either you experience it
when you see it either you experience it
when you see it either you experience it you see it whatever who do you feel how
you see it whatever who do you feel how
you see it whatever who do you feel how do you deal with it many of us would
do you deal with it many of us would
do you deal with it many of us would feel angry and yet I want to suggest
feel angry and yet I want to suggest
feel angry and yet I want to suggest that anger is not the barrier to
that anger is not the barrier to
that anger is not the barrier to forgiveness nor is it the opposite of
forgiveness nor is it the opposite of
forgiveness nor is it the opposite of forgiveness
returning to my example from hidden
returning to my example from hidden fingers figures Catherine Jones anger
fingers figures Catherine Jones anger
fingers figures Catherine Jones anger the anger of the character was a
the anger of the character was a
the anger of the character was a catalyst it was a fall of verbal action
catalyst it was a fall of verbal action
catalyst it was a fall of verbal action through which she spoke in order to
through which she spoke in order to
through which she spoke in order to right the wrongs done to her and other
right the wrongs done to her and other
right the wrongs done to her and other black people in this instance at NASA in
black people in this instance at NASA in
black people in this instance at NASA in fact it would have been unforgivable if
fact it would have been unforgivable if
fact it would have been unforgivable if she had not acted as she did perhaps it
she had not acted as she did perhaps it
she had not acted as she did perhaps it is unforgivable not to act
Audrey Lord has said that anger is not
Audrey Lord has said that anger is not the same as hatred and again I want to
the same as hatred and again I want to
the same as hatred and again I want to be clear that anger is not the same as
be clear that anger is not the same as
be clear that anger is not the same as hatred anger she says can be a
hatred anger she says can be a
hatred anger she says can be a liberating act of clarification that is
liberating act of clarification that is
liberating act of clarification that is anger can be a source of empowerment but
anger can be a source of empowerment but
anger can be a source of empowerment but more than empowerment I want to suggest
more than empowerment I want to suggest
more than empowerment I want to suggest that anger is a necessary and first step
that anger is a necessary and first step
that anger is a necessary and first step to be able to let go of perceived wrongs
to be able to let go of perceived wrongs
to be able to let go of perceived wrongs thus anger becomes a crucial step in
thus anger becomes a crucial step in
thus anger becomes a crucial step in learning how to forgive and allows us to
learning how to forgive and allows us to
learning how to forgive and allows us to move forward to a forgiveness that is
move forward to a forgiveness that is
move forward to a forgiveness that is sincere last year when I was filming
sincere last year when I was filming
sincere last year when I was filming Tibetan monks in North India for my next
Tibetan monks in North India for my next
Tibetan monks in North India for my next project we talked about forgiveness of
project we talked about forgiveness of
project we talked about forgiveness of course many of us know that forgiveness
course many of us know that forgiveness
course many of us know that forgiveness is fundamental is the cornerstone of
is fundamental is the cornerstone of
is fundamental is the cornerstone of Buddhism they also told me that not
Buddhism they also told me that not
Buddhism they also told me that not forgiving leads to more suffering
forgiving leads to more suffering
forgiving leads to more suffering because not forgiving can breed hate and
because not forgiving can breed hate and
because not forgiving can breed hate and that can lead to more suffering on the
that can lead to more suffering on the
that can lead to more suffering on the part of the individual and of course
part of the individual and of course
part of the individual and of course forgiveness is the way to enlightenment
forgiveness is the way to enlightenment
forgiveness is the way to enlightenment is the way to an inner peace and inner
is the way to an inner peace and inner
is the way to an inner peace and inner peace so that we may also work on outer
peace so that we may also work on outer
peace so that we may also work on outer peace I agree with all the monks said to
peace I agree with all the monks said to
peace I agree with all the monks said to me and yet I argued with them because I
me and yet I argued with them because I
me and yet I argued with them because I think we need to talk with each other
think we need to talk with each other
think we need to talk with each other about how we arrived at a true
about how we arrived at a true
about how we arrived at a true forgiveness I can’t simply say I forgive
forgiveness I can’t simply say I forgive
forgiveness I can’t simply say I forgive you how do I feel it in myself we have
you how do I feel it in myself we have
you how do I feel it in myself we have to feel it openly and deeply I was an
to feel it openly and deeply I was an
to feel it openly and deeply I was an international observer in the first
international observer in the first
international observer in the first one-person one-vote elections in South
one-person one-vote elections in South
one-person one-vote elections in South Africa that undermined apartheid there
Africa that undermined apartheid there
Africa that undermined apartheid there were long queues of people long lines of
were long queues of people long lines of
were long queues of people long lines of people waiting to vote in the hot
people waiting to vote in the hot
people waiting to vote in the hot basking Sun and our job was to make sure
basking Sun and our job was to make sure
basking Sun and our job was to make sure that they could vote in a free and fair
that they could vote in a free and fair
that they could vote in a free and fair way following that elect
way following that elect
way following that elect the government set up the Truth and
the government set up the Truth and
the government set up the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Commission
Reconciliation Commission Commission
Reconciliation Commission Commission this is a commission that set up so that
this is a commission that set up so that
this is a commission that set up so that people were asked victims were asked to
people were asked victims were asked to
people were asked victims were asked to speak to their perpetrators and forgive
speak to their perpetrators and forgive
speak to their perpetrators and forgive them that was the crucial bit victims of
them that was the crucial bit victims of
them that was the crucial bit victims of torture victims who had had their
torture victims who had had their
torture victims who had had their children murdered think Hector Pieterson
children murdered think Hector Pieterson
children murdered think Hector Pieterson were asked to come forward and forgive
were asked to come forward and forgive
were asked to come forward and forgive their perpetrators nothing was said
their perpetrators nothing was said
their perpetrators nothing was said however about the victims being allowed
however about the victims being allowed
however about the victims being allowed to be angry about the victims expressing
to be angry about the victims expressing
to be angry about the victims expressing their anger and the perpetrators hearing
their anger and the perpetrators hearing
their anger and the perpetrators hearing that anger before forgiveness was on the
that anger before forgiveness was on the
that anger before forgiveness was on the cards I do know that forgiveness is the
cards I do know that forgiveness is the
cards I do know that forgiveness is the only way to eliminate hatred no question
only way to eliminate hatred no question
only way to eliminate hatred no question at the same time the road to forgiveness
at the same time the road to forgiveness
at the same time the road to forgiveness comes we get on the road to forgiveness
comes we get on the road to forgiveness
comes we get on the road to forgiveness when we could locate our anger that
when we could locate our anger that
when we could locate our anger that allows us to forgive and then we suffer
allows us to forgive and then we suffer
allows us to forgive and then we suffer no hatred towards others so in fact we
no hatred towards others so in fact we
no hatred towards others so in fact we acquire an inner peace we can be honest
acquire an inner peace we can be honest
acquire an inner peace we can be honest and respectful towards others my final
and respectful towards others my final
and respectful towards others my final example is of Israel and Palestine when
example is of Israel and Palestine when
example is of Israel and Palestine when Israeli settle in Palestinian villages
Israeli settle in Palestinian villages
Israeli settle in Palestinian villages and land building their houses on areas
and land building their houses on areas
and land building their houses on areas that once belong to Palestinians few
that once belong to Palestinians few
that once belong to Palestinians few would think that the anger on the part
would think that the anger on the part
would think that the anger on the part of the Palestinians was unjustified also
of the Palestinians was unjustified also
of the Palestinians was unjustified also getting to forgiveness while this is
getting to forgiveness while this is
getting to forgiveness while this is happening is also very difficult it is
happening is also very difficult it is
happening is also very difficult it is almost impossible to forgive people who
almost impossible to forgive people who
almost impossible to forgive people who are stealing your land and your homes
are stealing your land and your homes
are stealing your land and your homes while they are in the process of doing
while they are in the process of doing
while they are in the process of doing it however once and this is what we all
it however once and this is what we all
it however once and this is what we all look forward to heartfelt peace talks
look forward to heartfelt peace talks
look forward to heartfelt peace talks begin and are completed to the
begin and are completed to the
begin and are completed to the satisfaction of many of the actors in
satisfaction of many of the actors in
satisfaction of many of the actors in this sad and far too long conflict and
this sad and far too long conflict and
this sad and far too long conflict and the Palestinians will be
the Palestinians will be
the Palestinians will be treated fairly with land resources Falls
treated fairly with land resources Falls
treated fairly with land resources Falls they’re getting back their homes in East
they’re getting back their homes in East
they’re getting back their homes in East Jerusalem I think that is when I would
Jerusalem I think that is when I would
Jerusalem I think that is when I would have the courage to talk with them and
have the courage to talk with them and
have the courage to talk with them and say was there room for forgiveness was
say was there room for forgiveness was
say was there room for forgiveness was there room to forgive the brutal
there room to forgive the brutal
there room to forgive the brutal repression of the Israeli state just as
repression of the Israeli state just as
repression of the Israeli state just as people in South Africa were asked to
people in South Africa were asked to
people in South Africa were asked to forgive the perpetrators even though
forgive the perpetrators even though
forgive the perpetrators even though they had suffered at the hands of white
they had suffered at the hands of white
they had suffered at the hands of white apartheid just as they were asked to
apartheid just as they were asked to
apartheid just as they were asked to create amnesty and forgiveness maybe
create amnesty and forgiveness maybe
create amnesty and forgiveness maybe that’s something that could happen when
that’s something that could happen when
that’s something that could happen when peace talks are successful in Israel and
peace talks are successful in Israel and
peace talks are successful in Israel and Palestine in a period when close to 3
Palestine in a period when close to 3
Palestine in a period when close to 3 million people protested the election of
million people protested the election of
million people protested the election of Donald Trump what will we do when he
Donald Trump what will we do when he
Donald Trump what will we do when he demolishes the Affordable Care Act what
demolishes the Affordable Care Act what
demolishes the Affordable Care Act what do we do when he builds a wall between
do we do when he builds a wall between
do we do when he builds a wall between the u.s. and Mexico what will we do
the u.s. and Mexico what will we do
the u.s. and Mexico what will we do about the refugees and people from
about the refugees and people from
about the refugees and people from countries that he decides our sources of
countries that he decides our sources of
countries that he decides our sources of terror and not let them in many of us
terror and not let them in many of us
terror and not let them in many of us don’t agree with his proposals and the
don’t agree with his proposals and the
don’t agree with his proposals and the inspiring and angry protests that took
inspiring and angry protests that took
inspiring and angry protests that took place last week led by women all around
place last week led by women all around
place last week led by women all around the world demonstrated that it is
the world demonstrated that it is
the world demonstrated that it is unforgivable not to act the protest
unforgivable not to act the protest
unforgivable not to act the protest showed how angry we are because we care
showed how angry we are because we care
showed how angry we are because we care about our societies we care about our
about our societies we care about our
about our societies we care about our people
people
people we care about our planet it is
we care about our planet it is
we care about our planet it is unforgivable not to act and perhaps it
unforgivable not to act and perhaps it
unforgivable not to act and perhaps it is unforgivable not to feel angry anger
is unforgivable not to feel angry anger
is unforgivable not to feel angry anger is the purest form of care that is why
is the purest form of care that is why
is the purest form of care that is why we need to feel kindly
”
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