Why We Make Faces When We Are Alone | Alan Fridlund | TEDxSDSU

a student came to me a while back after

a student came to me a while back after psych one was over and she said

psych one was over and she said

psych one was over and she said professor Friddle and I have a kind of a

professor Friddle and I have a kind of a

professor Friddle and I have a kind of a weird question to ask you she said when

weird question to ask you she said when

weird question to ask you she said when I’m on tinder and I’m swiping on all

I’m on tinder and I’m swiping on all

I’m on tinder and I’m swiping on all these people I make these faces I make

these people I make these faces I make

these people I make these faces I make these yuck faces I make these blah faces

these yuck faces I make these blah faces

these yuck faces I make these blah faces I make these smiles and now I’m all

I make these smiles and now I’m all

I make these smiles and now I’m all alone by myself

alone by myself

alone by myself in my room me and my app and Here I am

in my room me and my app and Here I am

in my room me and my app and Here I am making these goofy faces she says why am

making these goofy faces she says why am

making these goofy faces she says why am i making these faces is there something

i making these faces is there something

i making these faces is there something wrong with me well the first thing I had

wrong with me well the first thing I had

wrong with me well the first thing I had to tell her was that there was nothing

to tell her was that there was nothing

to tell her was that there was nothing wrong with her we all make faces when

wrong with her we all make faces when

wrong with her we all make faces when we’re alone and in fact the fact that we

we’re alone and in fact the fact that we

we’re alone and in fact the fact that we make faces when we’re alone turns out to

make faces when we’re alone turns out to

make faces when we’re alone turns out to be one of the most interesting and

be one of the most interesting and

be one of the most interesting and decisive questions in the whole field of

decisive questions in the whole field of

decisive questions in the whole field of facial expressions which is something

facial expressions which is something

facial expressions which is something I’ve been studying for about 142 years

I’ve been studying for about 142 years

I’ve been studying for about 142 years so what I hope to do is to lead you on a

so what I hope to do is to lead you on a

so what I hope to do is to lead you on a little journey today into an explanation

little journey today into an explanation

little journey today into an explanation as to why we make faces when you’re

as to why we make faces when you’re

as to why we make faces when you’re alone when we’re alone and the journey

alone when we’re alone and the journey

alone when we’re alone and the journey starts here when we’re born when we’re

starts here when we’re born when we’re

starts here when we’re born when we’re born we look at our mommy and our mommy

born we look at our mommy and our mommy

born we look at our mommy and our mommy looks back at at us and she’s in focus

looks back at at us and she’s in focus

looks back at at us and she’s in focus which is a miracle of sorts because our

which is a miracle of sorts because our

which is a miracle of sorts because our visual systems are wired such that well

visual systems are wired such that well

visual systems are wired such that well we’re not good at focusing on things

we’re not good at focusing on things

we’re not good at focusing on things when we’re born we’re only good at

when we’re born we’re only good at

when we’re born we’re only good at seeing things about eight to ten inches

seeing things about eight to ten inches

seeing things about eight to ten inches away which is about the distance that

away which is about the distance that

away which is about the distance that mommy holds our head such that our face

mommy holds our head such that our face

mommy holds our head such that our face is eight to ten inches from her face she

is eight to ten inches from her face she

is eight to ten inches from her face she looks at us we look at her she smiles at

looks at us we look at her she smiles at

looks at us we look at her she smiles at us it’ll be a while before we can return

us it’ll be a while before we can return

us it’ll be a while before we can return that smile

pretty soon by about six to eight weeks

pretty soon by about six to eight weeks we’re starting to use our faces we start

we’re starting to use our faces we start

we’re starting to use our faces we start to cry and make wry faces toward our

to cry and make wry faces toward our

to cry and make wry faces toward our caretakers and we find that they respond

caretakers and we find that they respond

caretakers and we find that they respond to us they find what needs fixing and

to us they find what needs fixing and

to us they find what needs fixing and they fix it

they fix it

they fix it pretty soon we learn that they come by

pretty soon we learn that they come by

pretty soon we learn that they come by when they see a cry face and they don’t

when they see a cry face and they don’t

when they see a cry face and they don’t even wait for us to start crying

even wait for us to start crying

even wait for us to start crying in fact they come when they see a cry

in fact they come when they see a cry

in fact they come when they see a cry face before we start crying so that they

face before we start crying so that they

face before we start crying so that they don’t have to hear us cry we also buy

don’t have to hear us cry we also buy

don’t have to hear us cry we also buy about eight weeks start to make a smile

about eight weeks start to make a smile

about eight weeks start to make a smile often times with a little bit of a

often times with a little bit of a

often times with a little bit of a giggle and they come running because we

giggle and they come running because we

giggle and they come running because we find with that smile we can hook them

find with that smile we can hook them

find with that smile we can hook them into playing with us as long as we want

into playing with us as long as we want

into playing with us as long as we want to stay awake and this is the beginning

to stay awake and this is the beginning

to stay awake and this is the beginning of bonding

of bonding

of bonding you know our bonding with mama was the

you know our bonding with mama was the

you know our bonding with mama was the most important social bond we’ll ever

most important social bond we’ll ever

most important social bond we’ll ever have in our lives now when we broadcast

have in our lives now when we broadcast

have in our lives now when we broadcast these kinds of faces we can bring all

these kinds of faces we can bring all

these kinds of faces we can bring all kinds of other people family even the

kinds of other people family even the

kinds of other people family even the family pets into our social sphere we

family pets into our social sphere we

family pets into our social sphere we also begin to use our faces to recruit

also begin to use our faces to recruit

also begin to use our faces to recruit other people into helping us solve our

other people into helping us solve our

other people into helping us solve our problems and resolve our conflicts we

problems and resolve our conflicts we

problems and resolve our conflicts we start to see this about 10 or 11 months

start to see this about 10 or 11 months

start to see this about 10 or 11 months and a gadget called a contraption called

and a gadget called a contraption called

and a gadget called a contraption called a visual cliff this is a contraption

a visual cliff this is a contraption

a visual cliff this is a contraption that has a glass floor with a drop off

that has a glass floor with a drop off

that has a glass floor with a drop off about halfway across so that the infant

about halfway across so that the infant

about halfway across so that the infant who goes across the floor has two faces

who goes across the floor has two faces

who goes across the floor has two faces a choice point do I stay back or do I

a choice point do I stay back or do I

a choice point do I stay back or do I crawl along the glass floor even though

crawl along the glass floor even though

crawl along the glass floor even though there’s a drop-off well we find

there’s a drop-off well we find

there’s a drop-off well we find something odd that happens if mommy’s at

something odd that happens if mommy’s at

something odd that happens if mommy’s at the other end what she does affects

the other end what she does affects

the other end what she does affects whether the infant chooses to hold back

whether the infant chooses to hold back

whether the infant chooses to hold back or proceed and here we see an infant

or proceed and here we see an infant

or proceed and here we see an infant that face that infant makes says I need

that face that infant makes says I need

that face that infant makes says I need data

data

data mommy smiles if she if the infant sees

mommy smiles if she if the infant sees

mommy smiles if she if the infant sees mommy smiles guess what happens the baby

mommy smiles guess what happens the baby

mommy smiles guess what happens the baby proceeds and goes off to conquer the

proceeds and goes off to conquer the

proceeds and goes off to conquer the world but if baby says I need data and

world but if baby says I need data and

world but if baby says I need data and mommy frowns guess what happens baby

mommy frowns guess what happens baby

mommy frowns guess what happens baby holds back now this process is called

holds back now this process is called

holds back now this process is called social referencing and it’s not a

social referencing and it’s not a

social referencing and it’s not a process that’s confined to infancy we

process that’s confined to infancy we

process that’s confined to infancy we use this process the rest of our lives

use this process the rest of our lives

use this process the rest of our lives whenever we face a situation that’s

whenever we face a situation that’s

whenever we face a situation that’s ambiguous our instinct is immediately to

ambiguous our instinct is immediately to

ambiguous our instinct is immediately to turn to other people to say how am I

turn to other people to say how am I

turn to other people to say how am I supposed to understand what’s going on

supposed to understand what’s going on

supposed to understand what’s going on it’s the means by which we build our

it’s the means by which we build our

it’s the means by which we build our consensual reality and it’s the means by

consensual reality and it’s the means by

consensual reality and it’s the means by which we form community values now a

which we form community values now a

which we form community values now a funny thing happens by the time we reach

funny thing happens by the time we reach

funny thing happens by the time we reach preschool we’ve got this repertoire by

preschool we’ve got this repertoire by

preschool we’ve got this repertoire by which we signal other people they signal

which we signal other people they signal

which we signal other people they signal back to us when we develop a social

back to us when we develop a social

back to us when we develop a social interchange mutual reciprocal signaling

interchange mutual reciprocal signaling

interchange mutual reciprocal signaling but by the time we hit preschool we’re

but by the time we hit preschool we’re

but by the time we hit preschool we’re likely to see a poster like this on the

likely to see a poster like this on the

likely to see a poster like this on the walls how many of you remember a poster

walls how many of you remember a poster

walls how many of you remember a poster like this when you went to school raise

like this when you went to school raise

like this when you went to school raise your hand

your hand

your hand you know the poster this poster says

you know the poster this poster says

you know the poster this poster says there are certain faces that we make and

there are certain faces that we make and

there are certain faces that we make and there are certain feelings that go with

there are certain feelings that go with

there are certain feelings that go with these faces now it’s kind of odd that we

these faces now it’s kind of odd that we

these faces now it’s kind of odd that we have to be taught this our teacher goes

have to be taught this our teacher goes

have to be taught this our teacher goes through this and says now this is a

through this and says now this is a

through this and says now this is a happy face and you make this face when

happy face and you make this face when

happy face and you make this face when you feel happy chances are we never

you feel happy chances are we never

you feel happy chances are we never thought about the faces we were making

thought about the faces we were making

thought about the faces we were making we got along just fine without all this

we got along just fine without all this

we got along just fine without all this formal education why that why all the

formal education why that why all the

formal education why that why all the pedagogy on this and where did it come

pedagogy on this and where did it come

pedagogy on this and where did it come from well it turns out that there were

from well it turns out that there were

from well it turns out that there were studies in the 1960s in which people got

studies in the 1960s in which people got

studies in the 1960s in which people got together and said well you know we think

together and said well you know we think

together and said well you know we think there are about six Universal emotions

there are about six Universal emotions

there are about six Universal emotions across cultures and we think there are

across cultures and we think there are

across cultures and we think there are about six faces that go with these

about six faces that go with these

about six faces that go with these emotions so we’re going to test

emotions so we’re going to test

emotions so we’re going to test theory so we’re gonna take these

theory so we’re gonna take these

theory so we’re gonna take these emotions and we’re going to take these

emotions and we’re going to take these

emotions and we’re going to take these faces go all over cultures we’re going

faces go all over cultures we’re going

faces go all over cultures we’re going to take familiar cultures we’re going to

to take familiar cultures we’re going to

to take familiar cultures we’re going to take remote cultures and we’re gonna see

take remote cultures and we’re gonna see

take remote cultures and we’re gonna see if people can match the faces to the

if people can match the faces to the

if people can match the faces to the emotions and when you look across

emotions and when you look across

emotions and when you look across cultures they can do it a little better

cultures they can do it a little better

cultures they can do it a little better than chance so guess what the faces

than chance so guess what the faces

than chance so guess what the faces confirm the emotions the emotions

confirm the emotions the emotions

confirm the emotions the emotions confirm the faces and look we got faces

confirm the faces and look we got faces

confirm the faces and look we got faces fitting into boxes and that’s the basis

fitting into boxes and that’s the basis

fitting into boxes and that’s the basis for these posters but that’s a kind of a

for these posters but that’s a kind of a

for these posters but that’s a kind of a circular logic isn’t it

circular logic isn’t it

circular logic isn’t it for example if I’m an ancient Greek or I

for example if I’m an ancient Greek or I

for example if I’m an ancient Greek or I believe like the ancient Greeks bit I

believe like the ancient Greeks bit I

believe like the ancient Greeks bit I could say there are four elements in

could say there are four elements in

could say there are four elements in nature earth air fire and water and now

nature earth air fire and water and now

nature earth air fire and water and now here are four catastrophes I’m going to

here are four catastrophes I’m going to

here are four catastrophes I’m going to ask you to match the catastrophe with

ask you to match the catastrophe with

ask you to match the catastrophe with the element I’m guessing I could go to

the element I’m guessing I could go to

the element I’m guessing I could go to almost any culture on the planet and

almost any culture on the planet and

almost any culture on the planet and you’d be able to match the catastrophe

you’d be able to match the catastrophe

you’d be able to match the catastrophe to the element the catastrophe that

to the element the catastrophe that

to the element the catastrophe that expresses the element probably most of

expresses the element probably most of

expresses the element probably most of you would be able to match fire to

you would be able to match fire to

you would be able to match fire to volcanoes and so forth but does this

volcanoes and so forth but does this

volcanoes and so forth but does this tell us anything about the nature of the

tell us anything about the nature of the

tell us anything about the nature of the world and do those studies that put

world and do those studies that put

world and do those studies that put faces into boxes tell us anything about

faces into boxes tell us anything about

faces into boxes tell us anything about how we use our faces in everyday life

how we use our faces in everyday life

how we use our faces in everyday life well if we just take this study right

well if we just take this study right

well if we just take this study right here I can tell you that at last count

here I can tell you that at last count

here I can tell you that at last count there were a hundred and eighteen

there were a hundred and eighteen

there were a hundred and eighteen elements not four and let’s just go

elements not four and let’s just go

elements not four and let’s just go abracadabra there are now 14 more

abracadabra there are now 14 more

abracadabra there are now 14 more natural catastrophes not four so these

natural catastrophes not four so these

natural catastrophes not four so these kinds of experiments where you simply

kinds of experiments where you simply

kinds of experiments where you simply match lists don’t tell you much about

match lists don’t tell you much about

match lists don’t tell you much about how people use how people what kinds of

how people use how people what kinds of

how people use how people what kinds of catastrophes are exist in the world how

catastrophes are exist in the world how

catastrophes are exist in the world how many elements there are or how people

many elements there are or how people

many elements there are or how people use their faces in the world in fact

use their faces in the world in fact

use their faces in the world in fact despite that this view of faces and

despite that this view of faces and

despite that this view of faces and boxes is true or at least it’s being

boxes is true or at least it’s being

boxes is true or at least it’s being taught all over the world here are faces

taught all over the world here are faces

taught all over the world here are faces as depicted in boxes from France Spain

as depicted in boxes from France Spain

as depicted in boxes from France Spain and Hong Kong my claim and what I hope

and Hong Kong my claim and what I hope

and Hong Kong my claim and what I hope to lead you to is the idea that or the

to lead you to is the idea that or the

to lead you to is the idea that or the realization that we use our faces much

realization that we use our faces much

realization that we use our faces much more subtly and that we use our faces in

more subtly and that we use our faces in

more subtly and that we use our faces in the context of who

the context of who

the context of who word whom we’re interacting with and

word whom we’re interacting with and

word whom we’re interacting with and what the context is of the interaction

what the context is of the interaction

what the context is of the interaction let’s take this person right here this

let’s take this person right here this

let’s take this person right here this is a person from Papua New Guinea this

is a person from Papua New Guinea this

is a person from Papua New Guinea this is one of the exotic locales that these

is one of the exotic locales that these

is one of the exotic locales that these cross-cultural studies were performed in

cross-cultural studies were performed in

cross-cultural studies were performed in now let’s just say that I’m the woman

now let’s just say that I’m the woman

now let’s just say that I’m the woman and you asked me do I have a stomachache

and you asked me do I have a stomachache

and you asked me do I have a stomachache and you’re my sister

and you’re my sister

and you’re my sister I’m going to make one kind of face to

I’m going to make one kind of face to

I’m going to make one kind of face to you but if you’re a complete stranger

you but if you’re a complete stranger

you but if you’re a complete stranger who asks me do I have a stomachache I’m

who asks me do I have a stomachache I’m

who asks me do I have a stomachache I’m going to make a very different kind of

going to make a very different kind of

going to make a very different kind of face to you we pick the people and the

face to you we pick the people and the

face to you we pick the people and the moment to make the kinds of faces we

moment to make the kinds of faces we

moment to make the kinds of faces we make in fact the faces I make to you

make in fact the faces I make to you

make in fact the faces I make to you aren’t about me they’re about you we

aren’t about me they’re about you we

aren’t about me they’re about you we pick our faces depending on who you are

pick our faces depending on who you are

pick our faces depending on who you are and why you want to know so for example

and why you want to know so for example

and why you want to know so for example if there are studies that show for

if there are studies that show for

if there are studies that show for example take bowlers bowlers when they

example take bowlers bowlers when they

example take bowlers bowlers when they make a strike they don’t smile when they

make a strike they don’t smile when they

make a strike they don’t smile when they make a strike they wait until they turn

make a strike they wait until they turn

make a strike they wait until they turn around and greet the others in their

around and greet the others in their

around and greet the others in their bowling party and then they make us of

bowling party and then they make us of

bowling party and then they make us of their smile it’s as though their smile

their smile it’s as though their smile

their smile it’s as though their smile says look what I just did at the

says look what I just did at the

says look what I just did at the Olympics Olympians when they receive

Olympics Olympians when they receive

Olympics Olympians when they receive their gold medals they don’t smile when

their gold medals they don’t smile when

their gold medals they don’t smile when they receive their medals

they receive their medals

they receive their medals the moment of greatest happiness if you

the moment of greatest happiness if you

the moment of greatest happiness if you will they smile when they turn around

will they smile when they turn around

will they smile when they turn around and meet their fellow and meet the gaze

and meet their fellow and meet the gaze

and meet their fellow and meet the gaze of their fellow athletes it’s almost

of their fellow athletes it’s almost

of their fellow athletes it’s almost like they’re sharing their happiness or

like they’re sharing their happiness or

like they’re sharing their happiness or they’re bringing home their triumphs to

they’re bringing home their triumphs to

they’re bringing home their triumphs to their clan now let’s go back to our path

their clan now let’s go back to our path

their clan now let’s go back to our path a new guinea woman okay you’re my sister

a new guinea woman okay you’re my sister

a new guinea woman okay you’re my sister and you asked me about my tummy ache I

and you asked me about my tummy ache I

and you asked me about my tummy ache I may make a face that says to you

may make a face that says to you

may make a face that says to you I’m suffering so much with my tummy

I’m suffering so much with my tummy

I’m suffering so much with my tummy sister it’s a face that maybe reaches

sister it’s a face that maybe reaches

sister it’s a face that maybe reaches out for support it’s a face that says

out for support it’s a face that says

out for support it’s a face that says I’ve suffered so much if you’re a

I’ve suffered so much if you’re a

I’ve suffered so much if you’re a complete stranger who asked me about my

complete stranger who asked me about my

complete stranger who asked me about my tummy ache I’m likely to make a face

tummy ache I’m likely to make a face

tummy ache I’m likely to make a face that says my tummy is none of your

that says my tummy is none of your

that says my tummy is none of your business

and and so our faces are ways that that

and and so our faces are ways that that I influence you when i en’t when I make

I influence you when i en’t when I make

I influence you when i en’t when I make a face to my sister that face is a way

a face to my sister that face is a way

a face to my sister that face is a way of recruiting empathy a way of

of recruiting empathy a way of

of recruiting empathy a way of recruiting succor maybe it’s a way of

recruiting succor maybe it’s a way of

recruiting succor maybe it’s a way of saying sister I really could use your

saying sister I really could use your

saying sister I really could use your support I really could use a hug I

support I really could use a hug I

support I really could use a hug I really could use you to call the doctor

really could use you to call the doctor

really could use you to call the doctor for me maybe go get some medicine for me

for me maybe go get some medicine for me

for me maybe go get some medicine for me all that is part of my presentation to

all that is part of my presentation to

all that is part of my presentation to my sister if I’m saying it to a stranger

my sister if I’m saying it to a stranger

my sister if I’m saying it to a stranger it could be a way of saying don’t go

it could be a way of saying don’t go

it could be a way of saying don’t go there anymore just get out of here no

there anymore just get out of here no

there anymore just get out of here no more questions about my tummy no more

more questions about my tummy no more

more questions about my tummy no more questions about anything you’re not

questions about anything you’re not

questions about anything you’re not welcome in my house it’s a way of

welcome in my house it’s a way of

welcome in my house it’s a way of deterring interaction so the function to

deterring interaction so the function to

deterring interaction so the function to my faces the faces I make to you

now what happens when we’re alone well

now what happens when we’re alone well there’s a clue from the the social

there’s a clue from the the social

there’s a clue from the the social critic HL Mencken who said conscience is

critic HL Mencken who said conscience is

critic HL Mencken who said conscience is that inner voice that tells us someone

that inner voice that tells us someone

that inner voice that tells us someone might be watching we always play to an

might be watching we always play to an

might be watching we always play to an imaginary audience I think Shakespeare

imaginary audience I think Shakespeare

imaginary audience I think Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage and I think

said all the world’s a stage and I think

said all the world’s a stage and I think in our heads where we always have

in our heads where we always have

in our heads where we always have someone else in mind

someone else in mind

someone else in mind the the first thing we do when we take

the the first thing we do when we take

the the first thing we do when we take ourselves off the social grid the first

ourselves off the social grid the first

ourselves off the social grid the first thing we do when we go private when we

thing we do when we go private when we

thing we do when we go private when we want a few minutes to ourselves is we

want a few minutes to ourselves is we

want a few minutes to ourselves is we Bing we begin to repopulate our social

Bing we begin to repopulate our social

Bing we begin to repopulate our social world with imaginary others we begin to

world with imaginary others we begin to

world with imaginary others we begin to turn our surroundings into a social web

turn our surroundings into a social web

turn our surroundings into a social web whether it’s in our head or in the

whether it’s in our head or in the

whether it’s in our head or in the objects that surround us and here are

objects that surround us and here are

objects that surround us and here are some of the ways we do it we act as if

some of the ways we do it we act as if

some of the ways we do it we act as if others are present when they’re not for

others are present when they’re not for

others are present when they’re not for example when I watch TV I when we’re

example when I watch TV I when we’re

example when I watch TV I when we’re watching a sports game we cheer we yell

watching a sports game we cheer we yell

watching a sports game we cheer we yell we make faces on our favorite sports

we make faces on our favorite sports

we make faces on our favorite sports team now our sports team isn’t there our

team now our sports team isn’t there our

team now our sports team isn’t there our sports team is just simply luminescent

sports team is just simply luminescent

sports team is just simply luminescent dots on an LED glass panel that team

dots on an LED glass panel that team

dots on an LED glass panel that team cannot hear us and yet there we are go

cannot hear us and yet there we are go

cannot hear us and yet there we are go team go team when we’re watching

team go team when we’re watching

team go team when we’re watching political debates we may want to yell at

political debates we may want to yell at

political debates we may want to yell at certain candidates we want we may want

certain candidates we want we may want

certain candidates we want we may want to cheer certain candidates for that

to cheer certain candidates for that

to cheer certain candidates for that matter we may want to throw things at

matter we may want to throw things at

matter we may want to throw things at the screen at other candidates we treat

the screen at other candidates we treat

the screen at other candidates we treat them as though they’re there when we

them as though they’re there when we

them as though they’re there when we talk on the phone we make faces at the

talk on the phone we make faces at the

talk on the phone we make faces at the people on the other end of the line

people on the other end of the line

people on the other end of the line they’re not in the room that they can’t

they’re not in the room that they can’t

they’re not in the room that they can’t see it

see it

see it theses victims cry out is anybody there

because they think there may be nobody

because they think there may be nobody there but we hope that maybe there would

there but we hope that maybe there would

there but we hope that maybe there would be somebody there we imagine that others

be somebody there we imagine that others

be somebody there we imagine that others are present when they’re not when I was

are present when they’re not when I was

are present when they’re not when I was writing this talk I imagined that you

writing this talk I imagined that you

writing this talk I imagined that you all were there in my head and I imagine

all were there in my head and I imagine

all were there in my head and I imagine making faces to you and I imagine you

making faces to you and I imagine you

making faces to you and I imagine you making faces back to me we forecast

making faces back to me we forecast

making faces back to me we forecast interaction and we make the appropriate

interaction and we make the appropriate

interaction and we make the appropriate faces when we hear good news or when we

faces when we hear good news or when we

faces when we hear good news or when we heard bad news we can’t help but think

heard bad news we can’t help but think

heard bad news we can’t help but think whom am I gonna tell this news to we run

whom am I gonna tell this news to we run

whom am I gonna tell this news to we run through the simulations of who are the

through the simulations of who are the

through the simulations of who are the first people I’m going to tell and how

first people I’m going to tell and how

first people I’m going to tell and how is it going to go with each one we treat

is it going to go with each one we treat

is it going to go with each one we treat non humans and inanimate objects in

non humans and inanimate objects in

non humans and inanimate objects in inanimate objects of social being you

inanimate objects of social being you

inanimate objects of social being you know we take our pets and we have full

know we take our pets and we have full

know we take our pets and we have full conversations with them we give them

conversations with them we give them

conversations with them we give them names we make faces even if our pets are

names we make faces even if our pets are

names we make faces even if our pets are goldfish we we take our inanimate

goldfish we we take our inanimate

goldfish we we take our inanimate objects people have total conversations

objects people have total conversations

objects people have total conversations with their houseplants they talk about

with their houseplants they talk about

with their houseplants they talk about what a terrible day it is as they polish

what a terrible day it is as they polish

what a terrible day it is as they polish the leaves of their plants they talk to

the leaves of their plants they talk to

the leaves of their plants they talk to stuffed animals give their stuffed

stuffed animals give their stuffed

stuffed animals give their stuffed animals name caress their stuffed

animals name caress their stuffed

animals name caress their stuffed animals they scold their computers for

animals they scold their computers for

animals they scold their computers for rebooting in the middle of an important

rebooting in the middle of an important

rebooting in the middle of an important document and then they turn bestfriends

document and then they turn bestfriends

document and then they turn bestfriends they turn Siri into their best friend

they turn Siri into their best friend

they turn Siri into their best friend okay and finally we treat ourselves as

okay and finally we treat ourselves as

okay and finally we treat ourselves as interacting we leave ourselves notes we

interacting we leave ourselves notes we

interacting we leave ourselves notes we encourage ourselves we scold ourselves

encourage ourselves we scold ourselves

encourage ourselves we scold ourselves we encourage ourselves we do unto

we encourage ourselves we do unto

we encourage ourselves we do unto ourselves as we do unto others so now

ourselves as we do unto others so now

ourselves as we do unto others so now you can guess the punchline well you can

you can guess the punchline well you can

you can guess the punchline well you can guess

guess

guess what the the day pneumo is with regard

what the the day pneumo is with regard

what the the day pneumo is with regard to my student on tinder why is she

to my student on tinder why is she

to my student on tinder why is she making faces when she’s all alone in her

making faces when she’s all alone in her

making faces when she’s all alone in her dorm room on tinder well there are some

dorm room on tinder well there are some

dorm room on tinder well there are some possibilities we had to check them out

possibilities we had to check them out

possibilities we had to check them out one is she’s making faces to the faces

one is she’s making faces to the faces

one is she’s making faces to the faces on the app another is she was imagining

on the app another is she was imagining

on the app another is she was imagining going out on dates with each one of them

going out on dates with each one of them

going out on dates with each one of them as she swiped left and went huh

as she swiped left and went huh

as she swiped left and went huh or she smiled and went wrong another

or she smiled and went wrong another

or she smiled and went wrong another might be that she was telling herself

might be that she was telling herself

might be that she was telling herself either choice not literally whatever but

either choice not literally whatever but

either choice not literally whatever but that wasn’t any of them you see what she

that wasn’t any of them you see what she

that wasn’t any of them you see what she was thinking of was her best friend

was thinking of was her best friend

was thinking of was her best friend because her best friend had kind of been

because her best friend had kind of been

because her best friend had kind of been warning or not to go on tinder in the

warning or not to go on tinder in the

warning or not to go on tinder in the first place and she was worried because

first place and she was worried because

first place and she was worried because well she hadn’t made great choices in

well she hadn’t made great choices in

well she hadn’t made great choices in the past on tinder so she with each face

the past on tinder so she with each face

the past on tinder so she with each face that she was looking at

that she was looking at

that she was looking at she was asking herself in her head would

she was asking herself in her head would

she was asking herself in her head would my best friend to prove of each guy and

my best friend to prove of each guy and

my best friend to prove of each guy and in fact she told me she wasn’t even sure

in fact she told me she wasn’t even sure

in fact she told me she wasn’t even sure she’d be asking me about tinder since

she’d be asking me about tinder since

she’d be asking me about tinder since her best friend told her to get off a

her best friend told her to get off a

her best friend told her to get off a tinder in the first place and now she

tinder in the first place and now she

tinder in the first place and now she was asking me her professor about tinder

was asking me her professor about tinder

was asking me her professor about tinder and this best friend was also in the

and this best friend was also in the

and this best friend was also in the class so you see in those office hours

class so you see in those office hours

class so you see in those office hours after psych 1 there were actually three

after psych 1 there were actually three

after psych 1 there were actually three people in the room there was this

people in the room there was this

people in the room there was this student there was me and then there was

student there was me and then there was

student there was me and then there was the best friend and I could only see two

the best friend and I could only see two

the best friend and I could only see two of them okay so now is the punchline why

of them okay so now is the punchline why

of them okay so now is the punchline why do we make faces when we’re alone and

do we make faces when we’re alone and

do we make faces when we’re alone and the answers you can probably guess now

the answers you can probably guess now

the answers you can probably guess now is because we are never really alone

is because we are never really alone

is because we are never really alone thank you very much

thank you very much

thank you very much you

you

you [Applause]