so for a brief but rather intense period of my life last summer I became totally
of my life last summer I became totally
of my life last summer I became totally obsessed with this Japanese iPhone game
obsessed with this Japanese iPhone game
obsessed with this Japanese iPhone game called NECO at su-mei I know in the game
called NECO at su-mei I know in the game
called NECO at su-mei I know in the game you have a little cartoon house with a
you have a little cartoon house with a
you have a little cartoon house with a cartoon yard and your goal is to get
cartoon yard and your goal is to get
cartoon yard and your goal is to get little cartoon cats to come hang out
little cartoon cats to come hang out
little cartoon cats to come hang out there and the way you do that is by
there and the way you do that is by
there and the way you do that is by leaving out toys and food and when the
leaving out toys and food and when the
leaving out toys and food and when the cats come they give you coins that you
cats come they give you coins that you
cats come they give you coins that you used to buy more toys and food to get
used to buy more toys and food to get
used to buy more toys and food to get more cats and so on and so on in an
more cats and so on and so on in an
more cats and so on and so on in an endless loop of cat love so it is
endless loop of cat love so it is
endless loop of cat love so it is ridiculously simple and I have a feeling
ridiculously simple and I have a feeling
ridiculously simple and I have a feeling that some of you are thinking this is a
that some of you are thinking this is a
that some of you are thinking this is a game for kindergartners um but what
game for kindergartners um but what
game for kindergartners um but what happened was that every time a cat that
happened was that every time a cat that
happened was that every time a cat that I hadn’t seen before showed up in my
I hadn’t seen before showed up in my
I hadn’t seen before showed up in my online yard my brain got this hit of
online yard my brain got this hit of
online yard my brain got this hit of dopamine that said Necco at su-mei is
dopamine that said Necco at su-mei is
dopamine that said Necco at su-mei is the most important thing in the world
the most important thing in the world
the most important thing in the world you are achieving all your life’s goals
you are achieving all your life’s goals
you are achieving all your life’s goals I was like a farmville zealot except
I was like a farmville zealot except
I was like a farmville zealot except instead of watering fake crops I was
instead of watering fake crops I was
instead of watering fake crops I was monitoring fake cat food supplies and
monitoring fake cat food supplies and
monitoring fake cat food supplies and saving feverishly for a fake pet bed
saving feverishly for a fake pet bed
saving feverishly for a fake pet bed this went on rather happily for a few
this went on rather happily for a few
this went on rather happily for a few weeks until came the day that I
weeks until came the day that I
weeks until came the day that I collected all the cats in the game
collected all the cats in the game
collected all the cats in the game including the rare ones like mr. Miyagi
including the rare ones like mr. Miyagi
including the rare ones like mr. Miyagi and Xerxes the night when that happened
and Xerxes the night when that happened
and Xerxes the night when that happened my dopamine levels plummeted here was
my dopamine levels plummeted here was
my dopamine levels plummeted here was this game that had occupied a rather
this game that had occupied a rather
this game that had occupied a rather shocking amount of my mental space but
shocking amount of my mental space but
shocking amount of my mental space but when I had no new cats to look forward
when I had no new cats to look forward
when I had no new cats to look forward to it became
to it became
to it became kind of tedious in fact I got so bored
kind of tedious in fact I got so bored
kind of tedious in fact I got so bored but after a few days I deleted the app
but after a few days I deleted the app
but after a few days I deleted the app from my phone which you knew all along
from my phone which you knew all along
from my phone which you knew all along was the correct life decision perhaps
was the correct life decision perhaps
was the correct life decision perhaps the most worrisome part of this little
the most worrisome part of this little
the most worrisome part of this little episode is how often I repeat this cycle
episode is how often I repeat this cycle
episode is how often I repeat this cycle in my life of enthusiasm followed by
in my life of enthusiasm followed by
in my life of enthusiasm followed by boredom followed by abandonment some
boredom followed by abandonment some
boredom followed by abandonment some shiny new object
shiny new object
shiny new object wass across my field of vision of new
wass across my field of vision of new
wass across my field of vision of new book a new TV show a writing project a
book a new TV show a writing project a
book a new TV show a writing project a cause an idea and for a while I am
cause an idea and for a while I am
cause an idea and for a while I am entranced by it but as is the way of all
entranced by it but as is the way of all
entranced by it but as is the way of all things eventually it ceases to be new
things eventually it ceases to be new
things eventually it ceases to be new and when that happens I lose interest
and when that happens I lose interest
and when that happens I lose interest and I start looking around for what’s
and I start looking around for what’s
and I start looking around for what’s next as humans we have a really terrible
next as humans we have a really terrible
next as humans we have a really terrible habit of fixating on what’s next
habit of fixating on what’s next
habit of fixating on what’s next biologically we are primed to crave
biologically we are primed to crave
biologically we are primed to crave novelty even infants in the nursery
novelty even infants in the nursery
novelty even infants in the nursery light up at the sight of new toys and
light up at the sight of new toys and
light up at the sight of new toys and new faces this propensity toward novelty
new faces this propensity toward novelty
new faces this propensity toward novelty seeking can be a positive thing it can
seeking can be a positive thing it can
seeking can be a positive thing it can make you curious and creative but it can
make you curious and creative but it can
make you curious and creative but it can also hamstring us it makes us distracted
also hamstring us it makes us distracted
also hamstring us it makes us distracted and unfocused cursed with tiny attention
and unfocused cursed with tiny attention
and unfocused cursed with tiny attention spans the CEO of Microsoft Satya Nadella
spans the CEO of Microsoft Satya Nadella
spans the CEO of Microsoft Satya Nadella has said that the truth scarce commodity
has said that the truth scarce commodity
has said that the truth scarce commodity is increasingly human attention and not
is increasingly human attention and not
is increasingly human attention and not just the attention it takes to say
just the attention it takes to say
just the attention it takes to say finish reading an 800-page novel
finish reading an 800-page novel
finish reading an 800-page novel although that would be amazing
although that would be amazing
although that would be amazing but the attention it requires to simply
but the attention it requires to simply
but the attention it requires to simply live your life without periodically
live your life without periodically
live your life without periodically wanting to press the reset button and
wanting to press the reset button and
wanting to press the reset button and start the game over again consider that
start the game over again consider that
start the game over again consider that the average millennial will change jobs
the average millennial will change jobs
the average millennial will change jobs about six point four times by the time
about six point four times by the time
about six point four times by the time they turn 30 my generation the Gen Xers
they turn 30 my generation the Gen Xers
they turn 30 my generation the Gen Xers were just as likely to switch employers
were just as likely to switch employers
were just as likely to switch employers the truth is a lot of us struggle with
the truth is a lot of us struggle with
the truth is a lot of us struggle with what I call restless soul syndrome and I
what I call restless soul syndrome and I
what I call restless soul syndrome and I think there’s nowhere in our lives that
think there’s nowhere in our lives that
think there’s nowhere in our lives that that’s more evident than in our
that’s more evident than in our
that’s more evident than in our relationship with our places with where
relationship with our places with where
relationship with our places with where we live
we live
we live the average American will move eleven
the average American will move eleven
the average American will move eleven point seven times before they died the
point seven times before they died the
point seven times before they died the better life we think is always in the
better life we think is always in the
better life we think is always in the next city in the next job in the next
next city in the next job in the next
next city in the next job in the next house in the next relationship recently
house in the next relationship recently
house in the next relationship recently the Facebook page humans of New York
the Facebook page humans of New York
the Facebook page humans of New York featured the story of a woman who
featured the story of a woman who
featured the story of a woman who confessed that although she had a
confessed that although she had a
confessed that although she had a well-paid job in a city that a lot of us
well-paid job in a city that a lot of us
well-paid job in a city that a lot of us are dying to get to she felt mired in
are dying to get to she felt mired in
are dying to get to she felt mired in habit stuck and stagnant and so her
habit stuck and stagnant and so her
habit stuck and stagnant and so her solution was she was quitting her job
solution was she was quitting her job
solution was she was quitting her job and she was moving to France she wanted
and she was moving to France she wanted
and she was moving to France she wanted to start over in a place where she could
to start over in a place where she could
to start over in a place where she could she said feel like a tourist in her own
she said feel like a tourist in her own
she said feel like a tourist in her own life again she was essentially burning
life again she was essentially burning
life again she was essentially burning it all down for more novelty now if you
it all down for more novelty now if you
it all down for more novelty now if you hear that story and you think man I wish
hear that story and you think man I wish
hear that story and you think man I wish I could do that
I could do that
I could do that congratulations you have just been
congratulations you have just been
congratulations you have just been diagnosed with restless soul syndrome
diagnosed with restless soul syndrome
diagnosed with restless soul syndrome why have I moved six times through five
why have I moved six times through five
why have I moved six times through five states in the past 15 years
states in the past 15 years
states in the past 15 years well ostensibly for jobs or schooling
well ostensibly for jobs or schooling
well ostensibly for jobs or schooling but I have the syndrome too in Necco at
but I have the syndrome too in Necco at
but I have the syndrome too in Necco at Summa terms
Summa terms
Summa terms I was desperate for a new cat in my yard
I was desperate for a new cat in my yard
I was desperate for a new cat in my yard but as soon as I got the new cat all I
but as soon as I got the new cat all I
but as soon as I got the new cat all I could think about was getting the next
could think about was getting the next
could think about was getting the next new cat I moved to Blacksburg Virginia a
new cat I moved to Blacksburg Virginia a
new cat I moved to Blacksburg Virginia a small town in the Blue Ridge Mountains
small town in the Blue Ridge Mountains
small town in the Blue Ridge Mountains about five years ago and the novelty of
about five years ago and the novelty of
about five years ago and the novelty of that wore off for me remarkably quickly
that wore off for me remarkably quickly
that wore off for me remarkably quickly my instinct as a mobile person was to
my instinct as a mobile person was to
my instinct as a mobile person was to say I gave this a good two months and
say I gave this a good two months and
say I gave this a good two months and it’s not working out so let’s pack it in
it’s not working out so let’s pack it in
it’s not working out so let’s pack it in we’re gonna find some cheap real estate
we’re gonna find some cheap real estate
we’re gonna find some cheap real estate somewhere else and we’re gonna move on
somewhere else and we’re gonna move on
somewhere else and we’re gonna move on in other words where is my new cat but I
in other words where is my new cat but I
in other words where is my new cat but I knew that I had a disease and I wanted
knew that I had a disease and I wanted
knew that I had a disease and I wanted the antidote I wanted to learn how I
the antidote I wanted to learn how I
the antidote I wanted to learn how I could stay put in my life research led
could stay put in my life research led
could stay put in my life research led me to this concept of place attachment
me to this concept of place attachment
me to this concept of place attachment which is the emotional bond that some
which is the emotional bond that some
which is the emotional bond that some people develop with where they live
people develop with where they live
people develop with where they live basically place attachment is the fancy
basically place attachment is the fancy
basically place attachment is the fancy scientific term for putting down roots
scientific term for putting down roots
scientific term for putting down roots and feeling content in your life and it
and feeling content in your life and it
and feeling content in your life and it comes with all sorts of benefits for
comes with all sorts of benefits for
comes with all sorts of benefits for your health and happiness I wanted that
your health and happiness I wanted that
your health and happiness I wanted that but how does a restless person become
but how does a restless person become
but how does a restless person become attached enough to where they live to
attached enough to where they live to
attached enough to where they live to want to stay long-term well first you do
want to stay long-term well first you do
want to stay long-term well first you do the opposite of what you want to do
the opposite of what you want to do
the opposite of what you want to do which is move away and instead you
which is move away and instead you
which is move away and instead you double down on where you live you engage
double down on where you live you engage
double down on where you live you engage and invest hard and interestingly that
and invest hard and interestingly that
and invest hard and interestingly that requires a lot of novelty thinking you
requires a lot of novelty thinking you
requires a lot of novelty thinking you have to learn to see your place with new
have to learn to see your place with new
have to learn to see your place with new eyes and engaging it in new ways so I
eyes and engaging it in new ways so I
eyes and engaging it in new ways so I doubled down on Blacksburg Virginia like
doubled down on Blacksburg Virginia like
doubled down on Blacksburg Virginia like it was my job I helped start a sidewalk
it was my job I helped start a sidewalk
it was my job I helped start a sidewalk chalk festival I joined a CSA I started
chalk festival I joined a CSA I started
chalk festival I joined a CSA I started volunteering making popcorn at the local
volunteering making popcorn at the local
volunteering making popcorn at the local nonprofit movie theater I invited
nonprofit movie theater I invited
nonprofit movie theater I invited neighbors that I hadn’t met to dinner I
neighbors that I hadn’t met to dinner I
neighbors that I hadn’t met to dinner I forced myself to go to football games
forced myself to go to football games
forced myself to go to football games even though I hate football
even though I hate football
even though I hate football and I I walked and I biked and I hiked
and I I walked and I biked and I hiked
and I I walked and I biked and I hiked new trails basically all these little
new trails basically all these little
new trails basically all these little love where you live experiments that I
love where you live experiments that I
love where you live experiments that I did were like a novelty bonanza and they
did were like a novelty bonanza and they
did were like a novelty bonanza and they worked I had this moment one afternoon
worked I had this moment one afternoon
worked I had this moment one afternoon where I was riding my bike to the
where I was riding my bike to the
where I was riding my bike to the farmers market with my daughter and I
farmers market with my daughter and I
farmers market with my daughter and I thought I’d love it here I don’t want to
thought I’d love it here I don’t want to
thought I’d love it here I don’t want to move anyplace else
move anyplace else
move anyplace else that was an epiphany you could actually
that was an epiphany you could actually
that was an epiphany you could actually want to stay put in your own life so if
want to stay put in your own life so if
want to stay put in your own life so if you’re like me and you suffer from
you’re like me and you suffer from
you’re like me and you suffer from restless soul syndrome you can channel
restless soul syndrome you can channel
restless soul syndrome you can channel that desire for new things into
that desire for new things into
that desire for new things into deepening your sense of attachment to
deepening your sense of attachment to
deepening your sense of attachment to where you live and and what you’re doing
where you live and and what you’re doing
where you live and and what you’re doing in your life right now so you are
in your life right now so you are
in your life right now so you are considering quitting your job and moving
considering quitting your job and moving
considering quitting your job and moving to France
to France
to France maybe instead you can start putting
maybe instead you can start putting
maybe instead you can start putting googly eyes on the garbage cans and the
googly eyes on the garbage cans and the
googly eyes on the garbage cans and the mailboxes where you live or you can be
mailboxes where you live or you can be
mailboxes where you live or you can be like my friend Lindsay zero goal in
like my friend Lindsay zero goal in
like my friend Lindsay zero goal in Toronto who writes love letters to her
Toronto who writes love letters to her
Toronto who writes love letters to her city and then she hides them in public
city and then she hides them in public
city and then she hides them in public places around town where strangers can
places around town where strangers can
places around town where strangers can find them or like Jenn prod in
find them or like Jenn prod in
find them or like Jenn prod in Minneapolis you can print out really
Minneapolis you can print out really
Minneapolis you can print out really corny jokes and then tape them up in the
corny jokes and then tape them up in the
corny jokes and then tape them up in the downtown business district right before
downtown business district right before
downtown business district right before all the workers come out on their lunch
all the workers come out on their lunch
all the workers come out on their lunch break you can create little jolts of
break you can create little jolts of
break you can create little jolts of surprise and delight where you live you
surprise and delight where you live you
surprise and delight where you live you can create the kind of novelty that
can create the kind of novelty that
can create the kind of novelty that makes you and other people happy Donna
makes you and other people happy Donna
makes you and other people happy Donna see thinking may even help you like your
see thinking may even help you like your
see thinking may even help you like your job more according to Gallup only about
job more according to Gallup only about
job more according to Gallup only about a third of American workers are engaged
a third of American workers are engaged
a third of American workers are engaged at work right now
at work right now
at work right now meaning they feel even sort of
meaning they feel even sort of
meaning they feel even sort of passionate about it and while I know it
passionate about it and while I know it
passionate about it and while I know it is really enjoyable to plot your
is really enjoyable to plot your
is really enjoyable to plot your dramatic exit from your soul-sucking
dramatic exit from your soul-sucking
dramatic exit from your soul-sucking workplace and what if instead in the
workplace and what if instead in the
workplace and what if instead in the meantime you helped say organize your
meantime you helped say organize your
meantime you helped say organize your office Ultimate Frisbee League or what
office Ultimate Frisbee League or what
office Ultimate Frisbee League or what if you used a fake accent to convince
if you used a fake accent to convince
if you used a fake accent to convince your customers and the McDonald’s
your customers and the McDonald’s
your customers and the McDonald’s drive-through line that you’re really
drive-through line that you’re really
drive-through line that you’re really from Australia engagement it turns out
from Australia engagement it turns out
from Australia engagement it turns out comes almost entirely from within and
comes almost entirely from within and
comes almost entirely from within and with novelty thinking you can spur that
with novelty thinking you can spur that
with novelty thinking you can spur that engagement you can make your job new
engagement you can make your job new
engagement you can make your job new again so the truth is that some of us
again so the truth is that some of us
again so the truth is that some of us are always gonna feel a little restless
are always gonna feel a little restless
are always gonna feel a little restless I may always find it more appealing to
I may always find it more appealing to
I may always find it more appealing to think of leaving everything behind
think of leaving everything behind
think of leaving everything behind burning it all down and moving on to
burning it all down and moving on to
burning it all down and moving on to something new and fresh but what I found
something new and fresh but what I found
something new and fresh but what I found is that when we use our desire for
is that when we use our desire for
is that when we use our desire for novelty to engage more passionately with
novelty to engage more passionately with
novelty to engage more passionately with what we’re already doing we feel like we
what we’re already doing we feel like we
what we’re already doing we feel like we belong not in some imaginary future
belong not in some imaginary future
belong not in some imaginary future where everything is different and better
where everything is different and better
where everything is different and better but in our lives as they are right now
but in our lives as they are right now
but in our lives as they are right now we find more meaning and purpose there
we find more meaning and purpose there
we find more meaning and purpose there we feel more content and we stay that
we feel more content and we stay that
we feel more content and we stay that way for longer so here is my advice for
way for longer so here is my advice for
way for longer so here is my advice for you
you
you stop looking for the new cats because
stop looking for the new cats because
stop looking for the new cats because when you do chances are that you will
when you do chances are that you will
when you do chances are that you will find that what you were looking for is
find that what you were looking for is
find that what you were looking for is right here where you already are thank
right here where you already are thank
right here where you already are thank you
you
you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
Be First to Comment