hi everyone so let’s talk about something simple how do I live a good
something simple how do I live a good
something simple how do I live a good life how do I live a flourishing life
life how do I live a flourishing life
life how do I live a flourishing life how do I become a good human being now
how do I become a good human being now
how do I become a good human being now we kind of think that’s tough to do but
we kind of think that’s tough to do but
we kind of think that’s tough to do but at least we think we know the answers to
at least we think we know the answers to
at least we think we know the answers to it and let’s just lay those out kind of
it and let’s just lay those out kind of
it and let’s just lay those out kind of quickly um what I should do is I should
quickly um what I should do is I should
quickly um what I should do is I should look within I should try to find myself
look within I should try to find myself
look within I should try to find myself find my true self and once I find myself
find my true self and once I find myself
find my true self and once I find myself I should try to strive to be sincere and
I should try to strive to be sincere and
I should try to strive to be sincere and authentic to who I really am deciding in
authentic to who I really am deciding in
authentic to who I really am deciding in my life what to do how to do things the
my life what to do how to do things the
my life what to do how to do things the daily basis but what to do in a bigger
daily basis but what to do in a bigger
daily basis but what to do in a bigger level to my future career partners etc
level to my future career partners etc
level to my future career partners etc based on what is really me and part of
based on what is really me and part of
based on what is really me and part of that is of course I should learn to love
that is of course I should learn to love
that is of course I should learn to love myself and embrace myself for who I
myself and embrace myself for who I
myself and embrace myself for who I really am loving myself for my good
really am loving myself for my good
really am loving myself for my good sides of course but you’re loving myself
sides of course but you’re loving myself
sides of course but you’re loving myself for my bad side so I may just be someone
for my bad side so I may just be someone
for my bad side so I may just be someone who gets angry at little things I
who gets angry at little things I
who gets angry at little things I sometimes have a bad temper but that’s
sometimes have a bad temper but that’s
sometimes have a bad temper but that’s just me and I should love myself for who
just me and I should love myself for who
just me and I should love myself for who I am and as long as I do that embracing
I am and as long as I do that embracing
I am and as long as I do that embracing myself loving myself then I can strive
myself loving myself then I can strive
myself loving myself then I can strive to live my life on my own terms and
to live my life on my own terms and
to live my life on my own terms and luckily we have lots of things that can
luckily we have lots of things that can
luckily we have lots of things that can help us do this right we can take
help us do this right we can take
help us do this right we can take personality tests that will give us if
personality tests that will give us if
personality tests that will give us if you answer them very carefully it’ll
you answer them very carefully it’ll
you answer them very carefully it’ll give you a sense of exactly who you are
give you a sense of exactly who you are
give you a sense of exactly who you are as a person and then what would be a
as a person and then what would be a
as a person and then what would be a good career for you when what would be a
good career for you when what would be a
good career for you when what would be a good partner for you and we help
good partner for you and we help
good partner for you and we help ourselves guide in trying to do this so
ourselves guide in trying to do this so
ourselves guide in trying to do this so if you’re applying to say college you’re
if you’re applying to say college you’re
if you’re applying to say college you’re in high school and we’ll say write a
in high school and we’ll say write a
in high school and we’ll say write a college admissions essay trying to
college admissions essay trying to
college admissions essay trying to present who you really are how all of
present who you really are how all of
present who you really are how all of your activities have really led you to
your activities have really led you to
your activities have really led you to being who you are and therefore what’s
being who you are and therefore what’s
being who you are and therefore what’s going to propel you forward when we’re
going to propel you forward when we’re
going to propel you forward when we’re asking people about a future career same
asking people about a future career same
asking people about a future career same thing we say you’ll find yourself think
thing we say you’ll find yourself think
thing we say you’ll find yourself think about who you are and think about what
about who you are and think about what
about who you are and think about what would work well for you and when we
would work well for you and when we
would work well for you and when we think this we think luckily and it’s
think this we think luckily and it’s
think this we think luckily and it’s tough to always do but luckily we can do
tough to always do but luckily we can do
tough to always do but luckily we can do this
this
this means we can live true liberated lives
means we can live true liberated lives
means we can live true liberated lives and we can decide for ourselves what to
and we can decide for ourselves what to
and we can decide for ourselves what to do and we often will to put to some kind
do and we often will to put to some kind
do and we often will to put to some kind of a larger vision of the world wherein
of a larger vision of the world wherein
of a larger vision of the world wherein we luckily can do these things we can
we luckily can do these things we can
we luckily can do these things we can live true liberated lives being true to
live true liberated lives being true to
live true liberated lives being true to ourselves because we’re modern people we
ourselves because we’re modern people we
ourselves because we’re modern people we live in the modern world and this is
live in the modern world and this is
live in the modern world and this is unlike those people sadly for them who
unlike those people sadly for them who
unlike those people sadly for them who lived in traditional societies
lived in traditional societies
lived in traditional societies traditional societies where they had to
traditional societies where they had to
traditional societies where they had to do things like rituals for example write
do things like rituals for example write
do things like rituals for example write rituals that would actually tell you
rituals that would actually tell you
rituals that would actually tell you what to do as opposed to letting you
what to do as opposed to letting you
what to do as opposed to letting you decide for yourself what to do rituals
decide for yourself what to do rituals
decide for yourself what to do rituals that would socialize you into certain
that would socialize you into certain
that would socialize you into certain ways of being certain assumptions about
ways of being certain assumptions about
ways of being certain assumptions about the world instead of letting you choose
the world instead of letting you choose
the world instead of letting you choose for yourself what’s best for you and
for yourself what’s best for you and
for yourself what’s best for you and they all of these people who live before
they all of these people who live before
they all of these people who live before us
us
us stuck in these traditional societies
stuck in these traditional societies
stuck in these traditional societies couldn’t do what we now can do so
couldn’t do what we now can do so
couldn’t do what we now can do so luckily for us we can find ourselves so
luckily for us we can find ourselves so
luckily for us we can find ourselves so let me just begin with an opening
let me just begin with an opening
let me just begin with an opening question what if we’re wrong
question what if we’re wrong
question what if we’re wrong what if we’re wrong not just empirically
what if we’re wrong not just empirically
what if we’re wrong not just empirically about so-called traditional societies
about so-called traditional societies
about so-called traditional societies which is we’ll see you worry a little
which is we’ll see you worry a little
which is we’ll see you worry a little more complicated than we think what if
more complicated than we think what if
more complicated than we think what if we’re wrong at a more fundamental level
we’re wrong at a more fundamental level
we’re wrong at a more fundamental level – what if we’re wrong about the self
– what if we’re wrong about the self
– what if we’re wrong about the self what if we have a really dangerous
what if we have a really dangerous
what if we have a really dangerous restricted limited view of the self what
restricted limited view of the self what
restricted limited view of the self what if we’re wrong about how we can grow as
if we’re wrong about how we can grow as
if we’re wrong about how we can grow as human beings and what if some of these
human beings and what if some of these
human beings and what if some of these ideas that we relegate to so-called
ideas that we relegate to so-called
ideas that we relegate to so-called traditional societies maybe we’re onto
traditional societies maybe we’re onto
traditional societies maybe we’re onto something that we should take seriously
something that we should take seriously
something that we should take seriously that we should really allow to challenge
that we should really allow to challenge
that we should really allow to challenge our fundamental assumptions what if in
our fundamental assumptions what if in
our fundamental assumptions what if in other words we have rendered most of
other words we have rendered most of
other words we have rendered most of humanity as being someone being
humanity as being someone being
humanity as being someone being something from which we can learn
something from which we can learn
something from which we can learn nothing and what if that very move is a
nothing and what if that very move is a
nothing and what if that very move is a very dangerous one so to make this
very dangerous one so to make this
very dangerous one so to make this argument let me turn to some classical
argument let me turn to some classical
argument let me turn to some classical Chinese views of the self classical
Chinese views of the self classical
Chinese views of the self classical China certainly as traditional according
China certainly as traditional according
China certainly as traditional according to we think our definition of the term
to we think our definition of the term
to we think our definition of the term is you could be but let’s talk about
is you could be but let’s talk about
is you could be but let’s talk about their view of the self their view of
their view of the self their view of
their view of the self their view of ritual their view of how we could live a
ritual their view of how we could live a
ritual their view of how we could live a flourishing life and what it might mean
flourishing life and what it might mean
flourishing life and what it might mean for us were we’ve to take it seriously
for us were we’ve to take it seriously
for us were we’ve to take it seriously so let’s begin with
so let’s begin with
so let’s begin with self this thing that we keep trying to
self this thing that we keep trying to
self this thing that we keep trying to look within and find let me talk a bit
look within and find let me talk a bit
look within and find let me talk a bit about classical Chinese views at the
about classical Chinese views at the
about classical Chinese views at the self and I’ll forewarn you at first it’s
self and I’ll forewarn you at first it’s
self and I’ll forewarn you at first it’s going to sound a little bleak but bear
going to sound a little bleak but bear
going to sound a little bleak but bear with me but here’s the bleak stuff do we
with me but here’s the bleak stuff do we
with me but here’s the bleak stuff do we have one true self that we should be
have one true self that we should be
have one true self that we should be looking within and finding no know what
looking within and finding no know what
looking within and finding no know what we are is a mess we are a mess of
we are is a mess we are a mess of
we are is a mess we are a mess of different energies and dispositions and
different energies and dispositions and
different energies and dispositions and desires and faculties and we’re all
desires and faculties and we’re all
desires and faculties and we’re all equally messes equally messes and the
equally messes equally messes and the
equally messes equally messes and the ways that we interact in the world is we
ways that we interact in the world is we
ways that we interact in the world is we encounter other people other messes in
encounter other people other messes in
encounter other people other messes in other words and we’re constantly
other words and we’re constantly
other words and we’re constantly dragging out pulling out from each other
dragging out pulling out from each other
dragging out pulling out from each other different responses so someone will
different responses so someone will
different responses so someone will smile at me I get happy in this way of
smile at me I get happy in this way of
smile at me I get happy in this way of thinking that person smiled drags out
thinking that person smiled drags out
thinking that person smiled drags out from me the energy of happiness than
from me the energy of happiness than
from me the energy of happiness than someone yells at me and it drags out
someone yells at me and it drags out
someone yells at me and it drags out from me an energy of anger and we are
from me an energy of anger and we are
from me an energy of anger and we are largely passive in the world endlessly
largely passive in the world endlessly
largely passive in the world endlessly being dragged and pulled different ways
being dragged and pulled different ways
being dragged and pulled different ways emotionally by based on things we
emotionally by based on things we
emotionally by based on things we immediately encounter purely passively
immediately encounter purely passively
immediately encounter purely passively and then it’s much bleaker because what
and then it’s much bleaker because what
and then it’s much bleaker because what also happens from again a very young age
also happens from again a very young age
also happens from again a very young age is we fall into patterns and rats in
is we fall into patterns and rats in
is we fall into patterns and rats in these responses so someone smiles to be
these responses so someone smiles to be
these responses so someone smiles to be in someone’s yells at me right but then
in someone’s yells at me right but then
in someone’s yells at me right but then someone else smiles at me or doesn’t
someone else smiles at me or doesn’t
someone else smiles at me or doesn’t smile at me someone does something that
smile at me someone does something that
smile at me someone does something that reminds me emotionally at that moment
reminds me emotionally at that moment
reminds me emotionally at that moment when someone smiled at me and it equally
when someone smiled at me and it equally
when someone smiled at me and it equally drags out for me any motion of happiness
drags out for me any motion of happiness
drags out for me any motion of happiness someone does something that emotionally
someone does something that emotionally
someone does something that emotionally reminds me for whatever reason of
reminds me for whatever reason of
reminds me for whatever reason of someone who yelled at me it drags out
someone who yelled at me it drags out
someone who yelled at me it drags out for me an emotion of anger and what
for me an emotion of anger and what
for me an emotion of anger and what happens from a very young age is that we
happens from a very young age is that we
happens from a very young age is that we cease to even respond passively to the
cease to even respond passively to the
cease to even respond passively to the world around us which is bad enough we
world around us which is bad enough we
world around us which is bad enough we start responding by patterns that we
start responding by patterns that we
start responding by patterns that we fall into patterns in which I will
fall into patterns in which I will
fall into patterns in which I will simply be constantly responding to the
simply be constantly responding to the
simply be constantly responding to the world that isn’t even there because it
world that isn’t even there because it
world that isn’t even there because it reminds me of previous events and these
reminds me of previous events and these
reminds me of previous events and these patterns in which I’m happy
patterns in which I’m happy
patterns in which I’m happy sad and angry and resentful and jealous
sad and angry and resentful and jealous
sad and angry and resentful and jealous all of these patterns become so embedded
all of these patterns become so embedded
all of these patterns become so embedded in me that it defines how I experience
in me that it defines how I experience
in me that it defines how I experience the world how I build relationships how
the world how I build relationships how
the world how I build relationships how I even see what’s around me or more
I even see what’s around me or more
I even see what’s around me or more importantly usually don’t see what’s
importantly usually don’t see what’s
importantly usually don’t see what’s around me in fact these patterns become
around me in fact these patterns become
around me in fact these patterns become so embedded in my entire way of being
so embedded in my entire way of being
so embedded in my entire way of being that I begin to call them me I begin to
that I begin to call them me I begin to
that I begin to call them me I begin to associate them with just my personality
associate them with just my personality
associate them with just my personality my characteristics because they so
my characteristics because they so
my characteristics because they so dominate how I experience the world and
dominate how I experience the world and
dominate how I experience the world and putting it weakly these patterns
putting it weakly these patterns
putting it weakly these patterns continue
continue
continue week after week month after month decade
week after week month after month decade
week after week month after month decade after decade they define us
after decade they define us
after decade they define us they define us as human beings repeating
they define us as human beings repeating
they define us as human beings repeating these patterns and lastly now if they’re
these patterns and lastly now if they’re
these patterns and lastly now if they’re right and I might add scarily there are
right and I might add scarily there are
right and I might add scarily there are about tons of psychological experiments
about tons of psychological experiments
about tons of psychological experiments arguing that yes this vision basically
arguing that yes this vision basically
arguing that yes this vision basically is right this is what we’re like as
is right this is what we’re like as
is right this is what we’re like as human beings note immediately that if
human beings note immediately that if
human beings note immediately that if you then say to someone you know you’re
you then say to someone you know you’re
you then say to someone you know you’re having a tough time you just need to
having a tough time you just need to
having a tough time you just need to find yourself and you just need to love
find yourself and you just need to love
find yourself and you just need to love yourself for who you really are know
yourself for who you really are know
yourself for who you really are know what you’re loving yourself for is a
what you’re loving yourself for is a
what you’re loving yourself for is a bunch of patterns and ruts that you’ve
bunch of patterns and ruts that you’ve
bunch of patterns and ruts that you’ve fallen into what you’re embracing
fallen into what you’re embracing
fallen into what you’re embracing yourself for and what you’re defining
yourself for and what you’re defining
yourself for and what you’re defining your life by are patterns and rats in
your life by are patterns and rats in
your life by are patterns and rats in short if they’re right about this the
short if they’re right about this the
short if they’re right about this the last thing you want to be doing is
last thing you want to be doing is
last thing you want to be doing is loving yourself and finding this inner
loving yourself and finding this inner
loving yourself and finding this inner self that you think is you what you want
self that you think is you what you want
self that you think is you what you want to do and I’ll use one of their terms
to do and I’ll use one of their terms
to do and I’ll use one of their terms attributed to a figure called Confucius
attributed to a figure called Confucius
attributed to a figure called Confucius what you want to do is overcome the self
what you want to do is overcome the self
what you want to do is overcome the self what you want to do is conquer the self
what you want to do is conquer the self
what you want to do is conquer the self the self being understood is simply
the self being understood is simply
the self being understood is simply these patterns and ruts that define us
these patterns and ruts that define us
these patterns and ruts that define us and if that’s true how do you do it well
and if that’s true how do you do it well
and if that’s true how do you do it well one of the key things you do is you
one of the key things you do is you
one of the key things you do is you follow rituals the very thing that we
follow rituals the very thing that we
follow rituals the very thing that we associate with these traditional worlds
associate with these traditional worlds
associate with these traditional worlds the very thing we associate as
the very thing we associate as
the very thing we associate as bad because it tells us what to do so
bad because it tells us what to do so
bad because it tells us what to do so let’s look at their view of ritual why
let’s look at their view of ritual why
let’s look at their view of ritual why do you do ritual assuming this notion of
do you do ritual assuming this notion of
do you do ritual assuming this notion of the self that we’ve been discussing
the self that we’ve been discussing
the self that we’ve been discussing here’s why you do ritual you do ritual
here’s why you do ritual you do ritual
here’s why you do ritual you do ritual because rituals force you for that brief
because rituals force you for that brief
because rituals force you for that brief moment to become a different person to
moment to become a different person to
moment to become a different person to see the world from different perspective
see the world from different perspective
see the world from different perspective to interact with those around you in a
to interact with those around you in a
to interact with those around you in a slightly different way and the idea is
slightly different way and the idea is
slightly different way and the idea is by doing that you’re not being
by doing that you’re not being
by doing that you’re not being socialized into thinking this ritual
socialized into thinking this ritual
socialized into thinking this ritual world is the real world you’re doing it
world is the real world you’re doing it
world is the real world you’re doing it because it breaks you from your patterns
because it breaks you from your patterns
because it breaks you from your patterns it breaks you from the usual way you’re
it breaks you from the usual way you’re
it breaks you from the usual way you’re seeing the world and it opens up other
seeing the world and it opens up other
seeing the world and it opens up other possibilities let me give you one of
possibilities let me give you one of
possibilities let me give you one of their examples to give a sense of what
their examples to give a sense of what
their examples to give a sense of what this means let’s talk about one of those
this means let’s talk about one of those
this means let’s talk about one of those relationships that um I’m glad to say I
relationships that um I’m glad to say I
relationships that um I’m glad to say I do not understand because I have a
do not understand because I have a
do not understand because I have a wonderful relationship with the
wonderful relationship with the
wonderful relationship with the equivalent of what I’m about to speak
equivalent of what I’m about to speak
equivalent of what I’m about to speak about but let’s talk about one of those
about but let’s talk about one of those
about but let’s talk about one of those relationships that can sometimes be a
relationships that can sometimes be a
relationships that can sometimes be a bit problematic
bit problematic
bit problematic fathers and sons now I have a wonderful
fathers and sons now I have a wonderful
fathers and sons now I have a wonderful father and wonderful relationship so I
father and wonderful relationship so I
father and wonderful relationship so I don’t understand this but some people
don’t understand this but some people
don’t understand this but some people will know that sometimes some
will know that sometimes some
will know that sometimes some complexities develop it’s a loving
complexities develop it’s a loving
complexities develop it’s a loving wonderful relationship with the father
wonderful relationship with the father
wonderful relationship with the father helping the Son and the son striving to
helping the Son and the son striving to
helping the Son and the son striving to be like the father but because of the
be like the father but because of the
be like the father but because of the same factors other emotions kind of set
same factors other emotions kind of set
same factors other emotions kind of set in right all of the angers and
in right all of the angers and
in right all of the angers and jealousies and resentments that can sit
jealousies and resentments that can sit
jealousies and resentments that can sit in in any hierarchical relationship
in in any hierarchical relationship
in in any hierarchical relationship where the father yes wants to send us
where the father yes wants to send us
where the father yes wants to send us succeed but the son is always not
succeed but the son is always not
succeed but the son is always not failing and always failing not quite
failing and always failing not quite
failing and always failing not quite succeeding the sons feeling both trying
succeeding the sons feeling both trying
succeeding the sons feeling both trying to be like the father but a little bit
to be like the father but a little bit
to be like the father but a little bit rebellious and you get these very
rebellious and you get these very
rebellious and you get these very dangerous dynamics that begin setting in
dangerous dynamics that begin setting in
dangerous dynamics that begin setting in so how do you solve it do you have the
so how do you solve it do you have the
so how do you solve it do you have the to sit down and have a nice chat well if
to sit down and have a nice chat well if
to sit down and have a nice chat well if we’re these passive creatures that fall
we’re these passive creatures that fall
we’re these passive creatures that fall into these patterns that define us at
into these patterns that define us at
into these patterns that define us at know you can talk and talk until you’re
know you can talk and talk until you’re
know you can talk and talk until you’re blue in the face you’re still going to
blue in the face you’re still going to
blue in the face you’re still going to fall back into your patterns so here’s
fall back into your patterns so here’s
fall back into your patterns so here’s what you do what you do in this case is
what you do what you do in this case is
what you do what you do in this case is you enter a ritual in which each was
you enter a ritual in which each was
you enter a ritual in which each was forced to play the role of the other one
forced to play the role of the other one
forced to play the role of the other one the father has to play the son of his
the father has to play the son of his
the father has to play the son of his own son
own son
own son so he has to look at his own son as if
so he has to look at his own son as if
so he has to look at his own son as if he were his father and the son has to
he were his father and the son has to
he were his father and the son has to play the role of the father of his own
play the role of the father of his own
play the role of the father of his own father looking at his own father as if
father looking at his own father as if
father looking at his own father as if he were the son being forced over and
he were the son being forced over and
he were the son being forced over and over again to enter this ritual space
over again to enter this ritual space
over again to enter this ritual space and see the world not just from a
and see the world not just from a
and see the world not just from a different perspective but from the
different perspective but from the
different perspective but from the different perspective the perspective of
different perspective the perspective of
different perspective the perspective of the person with whom they have the most
the person with whom they have the most
the person with whom they have the most tensions and you forced to do it over
tensions and you forced to do it over
tensions and you forced to do it over and over again the son learning from a
and over again the son learning from a
and over again the son learning from a young age what it’s like to be in a
young age what it’s like to be in a
young age what it’s like to be in a position of authority all the
position of authority all the
position of authority all the responsibilities and yes potential
responsibilities and yes potential
responsibilities and yes potential arrogance that can set in the father
arrogance that can set in the father
arrogance that can set in the father being forced again to remember what it’s
being forced again to remember what it’s
being forced again to remember what it’s like to be in a subservient position and
like to be in a subservient position and
like to be in a subservient position and each being forced to see the world from
each being forced to see the world from
each being forced to see the world from the opposite perspective begins a break
the opposite perspective begins a break
the opposite perspective begins a break in their usual relationship now take the
in their usual relationship now take the
in their usual relationship now take the heart example and then imagine you’re
heart example and then imagine you’re
heart example and then imagine you’re doing these rituals all the time with
doing these rituals all the time with
doing these rituals all the time with all of the complicated relationships
all of the complicated relationships
all of the complicated relationships that define you the goal of which of
that define you the goal of which of
that define you the goal of which of course is not to socialize you into that
course is not to socialize you into that
course is not to socialize you into that way of thinking that I’ve been
way of thinking that I’ve been
way of thinking that I’ve been socialized to stick with this example to
socialized to stick with this example to
socialized to stick with this example to think of your son as your father you’re
think of your son as your father you’re
think of your son as your father you’re being forced to break your patterns and
being forced to break your patterns and
being forced to break your patterns and where does this take you well let me
where does this take you well let me
where does this take you well let me again give one of their examples before
again give one of their examples before
again give one of their examples before I get to ourselves here’s one of their
I get to ourselves here’s one of their
I get to ourselves here’s one of their examples a figure who was seen as
examples a figure who was seen as
examples a figure who was seen as someone who spent his life yes doing
someone who spent his life yes doing
someone who spent his life yes doing these rituals in this sense of the term
these rituals in this sense of the term
these rituals in this sense of the term his name you’ve probably heard of him
his name you’ve probably heard of him
his name you’ve probably heard of him he’s already popped up once Confucius
he’s already popped up once Confucius
he’s already popped up once Confucius seeing as someone who spent his life
seeing as someone who spent his life
seeing as someone who spent his life doing this as someone who as he’s
doing this as someone who as he’s
doing this as someone who as he’s described toward the end of his life who
described toward the end of his life who
described toward the end of his life who could simply enter a situation since all
could simply enter a situation since all
could simply enter a situation since all the patterns playing out around him
the patterns playing out around him
the patterns playing out around him because he’s gotten so good at sensing
because he’s gotten so good at sensing
because he’s gotten so good at sensing this and since immediately the little
this and since immediately the little
this and since immediately the little things he can do gestures quotation
things he can do gestures quotation
things he can do gestures quotation statements little things he can do to
statements little things he can do to
statements little things he can do to break these patterns alter the situation
break these patterns alter the situation
break these patterns alter the situation and open up new possibilities that’s
and open up new possibilities that’s
and open up new possibilities that’s what he’s training himself to do and now
what he’s training himself to do and now
what he’s training himself to do and now let’s turn to ourselves suppose they’re
let’s turn to ourselves suppose they’re
let’s turn to ourselves suppose they’re onto something suppose they’re onto
onto something suppose they’re onto
onto something suppose they’re onto something about the notion of the self
something about the notion of the self
something about the notion of the self and how we could become better human
and how we could become better human
and how we could become better human beings
beings
beings note what this would mean not only are
note what this would mean not only are
note what this would mean not only are we not loving ourselves and embracing
we not loving ourselves and embracing
we not loving ourselves and embracing ourselves for who we are what we’re
ourselves for who we are what we’re
ourselves for who we are what we’re really trying to do is the opposite
really trying to do is the opposite
really trying to do is the opposite we’re trying to break these patterns
we’re trying to break these patterns
we’re trying to break these patterns that we see is dominating us we’re
that we see is dominating us we’re
that we see is dominating us we’re training ourselves to constantly create
training ourselves to constantly create
training ourselves to constantly create these little breaks no we don’t have to
these little breaks no we don’t have to
these little breaks no we don’t have to do rituals in the usual way that we
do rituals in the usual way that we
do rituals in the usual way that we think of rituals you’re doing little
think of rituals you’re doing little
think of rituals you’re doing little things all the time to create these
things all the time to create these
things all the time to create these breaks when you get in these difficult
breaks when you get in these difficult
breaks when you get in these difficult relationships in other words
relationships in other words
relationships in other words relationships or you have difficult
relationships or you have difficult
relationships or you have difficult family dynamics in other words a typical
family dynamics in other words a typical
family dynamics in other words a typical family what you’re doing are these
family what you’re doing are these
family what you’re doing are these little breaks these little shifts
little breaks these little shifts
little breaks these little shifts something so simple as the families
something so simple as the families
something so simple as the families fighting it’s it’s a miserable evening
fighting it’s it’s a miserable evening
fighting it’s it’s a miserable evening everyone’s coming back from their work
everyone’s coming back from their work
everyone’s coming back from their work in school and you simply set the dinner
in school and you simply set the dinner
in school and you simply set the dinner in a way that creates a different
in a way that creates a different
in a way that creates a different atmosphere you light the candles you
atmosphere you light the candles you
atmosphere you light the candles you create a calm situation and people begin
create a calm situation and people begin
create a calm situation and people begin talking to each other outside of the
talking to each other outside of the
talking to each other outside of the in-person jealousies and resentments and
in-person jealousies and resentments and
in-person jealousies and resentments and then you do the equivalent of that
then you do the equivalent of that
then you do the equivalent of that constantly all the time and you’re
constantly all the time and you’re
constantly all the time and you’re training yourself over time to be able
training yourself over time to be able
training yourself over time to be able to sense the complexity of situations to
to sense the complexity of situations to
to sense the complexity of situations to be able to sense yes the world is messy
be able to sense yes the world is messy
be able to sense yes the world is messy that I’m not a person those around me
that I’m not a person those around me
that I’m not a person those around me are not particularly are and all the
are not particularly are and all the
are not particularly are and all the difficulties I’m in this person that has
difficulties I’m in this person that has
difficulties I’m in this person that has a bad temper or this person’s friendly
a bad temper or this person’s friendly
a bad temper or this person’s friendly it’s not them it’s patterns I’m doing
it’s not them it’s patterns I’m doing
it’s not them it’s patterns I’m doing things that are creating certain
things that are creating certain
things that are creating certain patterns and others I can change those
patterns and others I can change those
patterns and others I can change those and I can change others and what you’re
and I can change others and what you’re
and I can change others and what you’re gaining over time through your daily
gaining over time through your daily
gaining over time through your daily mundane life is a sense that the ways we
mundane life is a sense that the ways we
mundane life is a sense that the ways we live our daily lives we can actually
live our daily lives we can actually
live our daily lives we can actually instead of falling into these patterns
instead of falling into these patterns
instead of falling into these patterns train ourselves to send situations train
train ourselves to send situations train
train ourselves to send situations train ourselves to do things that can create
ourselves to do things that can create
ourselves to do things that can create worlds at a minimal and very high level
worlds at a minimal and very high level
worlds at a minimal and very high level as well in which people around us can
as well in which people around us can
as well in which people around us can begin to flourish you’re training
begin to flourish you’re training
begin to flourish you’re training yourself to do that in mundane
yourself to do that in mundane
yourself to do that in mundane situations at the larger level to larger
situations at the larger level to larger
situations at the larger level to larger societal issues what are the larger
societal issues what are the larger
societal issues what are the larger patterns playing out what are the
patterns playing out what are the
patterns playing out what are the trajectories of those patterns how do I
trajectories of those patterns how do I
trajectories of those patterns how do I do things that can alter those patterns
do things that can alter those patterns
do things that can alter those patterns and if you’re thinking of your life this
and if you’re thinking of your life this
and if you’re thinking of your life this way what it means is a constant work of
way what it means is a constant work of
way what it means is a constant work of breaking these patterns sensing the
breaking these patterns sensing the
breaking these patterns sensing the world around you
world around you
world around you sensing
sensing
sensing to create situations within which humans
to create situations within which humans
to create situations within which humans can flourish and that is an
can flourish and that is an
can flourish and that is an extraordinary vision it’s a vision in
extraordinary vision it’s a vision in
extraordinary vision it’s a vision in which yes these ideas that we relegate
which yes these ideas that we relegate
which yes these ideas that we relegate to the past because of our patterned way
to the past because of our patterned way
to the past because of our patterned way of thinking about the traditional past
of thinking about the traditional past
of thinking about the traditional past are seen as alive things from which we
are seen as alive things from which we
are seen as alive things from which we can learn things that we can use to
can learn things that we can use to
can learn things that we can use to break to use the word again our own
break to use the word again our own
break to use the word again our own assumptions and from which we can learn
assumptions and from which we can learn
assumptions and from which we can learn do that and we begin to create a truly
do that and we begin to create a truly
do that and we begin to create a truly cosmopolitan world a world in which we
cosmopolitan world a world in which we
cosmopolitan world a world in which we are training ourselves not to be who we
are training ourselves not to be who we
are training ourselves not to be who we already are but in which we are training
already are but in which we are training
already are but in which we are training ourselves to create worlds in which we
ourselves to create worlds in which we
ourselves to create worlds in which we can flourish and become things that we
can flourish and become things that we
can flourish and become things that we currently cannot even imagine that is an
currently cannot even imagine that is an
currently cannot even imagine that is an extraordinary vision of what we
extraordinary vision of what we
extraordinary vision of what we potentially could be as human beings
potentially could be as human beings
potentially could be as human beings thank you so much
thank you so much
thank you so much [Applause]
”
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